1 00:00:05,005 --> 00:00:07,799 [cat purrs, meows] 2 00:00:09,009 --> 00:00:11,678 [fast, lively flamenco music playing] 3 00:00:11,803 --> 00:00:14,223 [screams] 4 00:00:14,306 --> 00:00:15,306 [giggles] 5 00:00:17,684 --> 00:00:19,478 - [Puss yowling] - El Gato! 6 00:00:22,689 --> 00:00:23,689 [yowls] 7 00:00:39,081 --> 00:00:41,625 - [swords clanging] - [thieves growling] 8 00:00:41,708 --> 00:00:43,043 [Puss grunting] 9 00:00:45,963 --> 00:00:49,132 Villains. You think you can beat Puss in Boots? 10 00:00:49,216 --> 00:00:50,217 [grunting] 11 00:00:50,801 --> 00:00:52,678 Honestly? Not really... [shouts] 12 00:00:52,761 --> 00:00:56,306 I would've run away already but I'm afraid you'll stab me in the butt. 13 00:00:56,390 --> 00:00:57,558 [chuckles, grunts] 14 00:01:03,939 --> 00:01:05,357 [all screaming] 15 00:01:10,612 --> 00:01:12,990 Now, let us see what they have. 16 00:01:17,327 --> 00:01:18,370 What is this? 17 00:01:22,874 --> 00:01:25,377 A storybook about me? 18 00:01:25,627 --> 00:01:29,006 This can only be a wonderful thing and in no way menacing. 19 00:01:29,298 --> 00:01:30,590 [Puss shouts] 20 00:01:32,342 --> 00:01:33,802 [grunting] 21 00:01:36,138 --> 00:01:38,140 Okay, maybe a little menacing. 22 00:01:38,557 --> 00:01:40,601 [male voice] Once upon a time, 23 00:01:40,684 --> 00:01:43,061 a cat was trapped in a book. 24 00:01:43,645 --> 00:01:44,645 Hello? 25 00:01:45,314 --> 00:01:46,148 Where are you? 26 00:01:46,231 --> 00:01:49,234 I am everywhere. [voice echoes] 27 00:01:49,318 --> 00:01:51,278 You may call me... 28 00:01:51,695 --> 00:01:52,904 the Storyteller. 29 00:01:53,071 --> 00:01:55,073 Did you say I'm trapped in a book? 30 00:01:55,157 --> 00:01:58,952 Yes. And in this book, I control everything. 31 00:01:59,286 --> 00:02:00,286 Almost. 32 00:02:00,495 --> 00:02:04,416 For I am compelled by eldritch forces beyond my ken 33 00:02:04,499 --> 00:02:07,085 to offer some choices to you. 34 00:02:07,878 --> 00:02:11,256 Choices that affect your destiny. 35 00:02:12,090 --> 00:02:13,467 I am not following you. 36 00:02:13,550 --> 00:02:14,551 [Storyteller sighs] 37 00:02:14,885 --> 00:02:19,264 It means that sometimes I'm going to let you choose what will happen. 38 00:02:21,224 --> 00:02:23,644 And now your first choice. 39 00:02:26,229 --> 00:02:27,648 Choose now: 40 00:02:27,731 --> 00:02:31,443 Will you fight a god, or would that be rather odd? 41 00:02:31,902 --> 00:02:36,073 If so, perhaps you'd rather be in pitched battle with a tree? 42 00:02:36,740 --> 00:02:37,740 Huh? 43 00:02:38,450 --> 00:02:41,119 Are you kidding? Why would I choose to fight a god? 44 00:02:41,203 --> 00:02:43,288 You choose to fight a god? So be it. 45 00:02:43,372 --> 00:02:46,249 What?! Who are you, Storyteller? I must know. 46 00:02:46,333 --> 00:02:49,378 - I must know your true identity. - I'll never tell. 47 00:02:50,295 --> 00:02:53,465 Wait, I have to fight a god? What if I do not want to? 48 00:02:53,548 --> 00:02:55,425 [grunting] 49 00:02:55,509 --> 00:02:56,802 You have no choice. 50 00:02:59,137 --> 00:03:01,139 [grunts] Huh? 51 00:03:02,641 --> 00:03:03,892 [thudding] 52 00:03:05,394 --> 00:03:07,229 But, Taranis, we are friends! 53 00:03:07,396 --> 00:03:10,315 Taranis will not listen to your lying talk-words. 54 00:03:10,440 --> 00:03:12,275 We fight now, little fox. 55 00:03:12,359 --> 00:03:14,820 Fox? I am clearly a cat. 56 00:03:16,238 --> 00:03:17,989 Taranis apologizes. 57 00:03:18,198 --> 00:03:19,658 [grunting] 58 00:03:21,118 --> 00:03:22,577 Ha. [gasps] 59 00:03:25,664 --> 00:03:26,664 [Puss grunting] 60 00:03:30,877 --> 00:03:32,712 I have your magic wheel. 61 00:03:33,088 --> 00:03:34,506 Whoa. [grunts] 62 00:03:34,589 --> 00:03:37,050 Oh, no. Without it, I am powerless. 63 00:03:37,134 --> 00:03:38,385 [Puss grunting] 64 00:03:38,719 --> 00:03:39,553 I know. 65 00:03:39,636 --> 00:03:41,638 [purring] 66 00:03:43,390 --> 00:03:44,725 [screaming] 67 00:03:45,350 --> 00:03:46,810 Ow! [grunting] 68 00:03:53,275 --> 00:03:54,818 Curse you, cat-fox. 69 00:03:56,278 --> 00:03:58,405 [whirring] 70 00:04:00,323 --> 00:04:01,575 [Puss grunting] 71 00:04:02,909 --> 00:04:06,997 Curse you! [echoing] 72 00:04:08,832 --> 00:04:12,043 I am calling that a victory. I cannot be beaten. 73 00:04:12,461 --> 00:04:18,133 Oh, no? You will see, Puss in Boots, that you are at the mercy of my whims. 74 00:04:18,300 --> 00:04:21,094 And the only way to escape from this book 75 00:04:21,178 --> 00:04:24,389 in which you've found yourself so disastrously trapped... 76 00:04:24,848 --> 00:04:27,476 - Yes? - Is... 77 00:04:27,726 --> 00:04:30,353 Yes? 78 00:04:30,896 --> 00:04:32,647 To get to... 79 00:04:33,064 --> 00:04:34,064 the end! 80 00:04:34,566 --> 00:04:35,400 The end? 81 00:04:35,484 --> 00:04:36,484 The end. 82 00:04:37,527 --> 00:04:39,738 I accept your challenge, Storyteller. 83 00:04:41,156 --> 00:04:44,951 [Storyteller] So, Puss in Boots, will you with a giant talk, 84 00:04:45,035 --> 00:04:47,329 or will you now be Goldilocks? 85 00:04:47,746 --> 00:04:50,916 How can I possibly make such a difficult decision? 86 00:04:51,041 --> 00:04:52,876 I do not want to wear that wig. 87 00:04:52,959 --> 00:04:55,420 But that giant, he looks somehow familiar. 88 00:04:55,796 --> 00:04:57,923 I'm going to say this very clearly. 89 00:04:58,006 --> 00:05:00,884 - I choose the giant. - Your choice is made. 90 00:05:00,967 --> 00:05:02,344 [Puss sighs] 91 00:05:03,845 --> 00:05:06,389 - [Toby] Fee, fi, fo, fum! - [rumbling] 92 00:05:06,473 --> 00:05:08,975 I smell a cat and I want some gum. 93 00:05:09,226 --> 00:05:11,311 Toby, why are you a giant? 94 00:05:11,394 --> 00:05:13,230 Who is this Toby? 95 00:05:13,313 --> 00:05:15,357 I am a fearsome giant. 96 00:05:15,440 --> 00:05:18,068 I have stepped on so many people. 97 00:05:18,318 --> 00:05:19,861 Not always on purpose. 98 00:05:19,945 --> 00:05:22,948 Sometimes it's just, like, "oops," and they go "squish"! 99 00:05:25,492 --> 00:05:28,578 Anyway, I want gum! 100 00:05:28,662 --> 00:05:30,705 [grunts] Fiendish. 101 00:05:30,789 --> 00:05:35,168 This Storyteller uses my own friends to populate his diabolical world. 102 00:05:35,418 --> 00:05:38,088 Apparently, he's too lazy to come up with new characters. 103 00:05:38,171 --> 00:05:40,632 [Storyteller] It's not laziness, it's recycling. 104 00:05:40,715 --> 00:05:42,717 I said I want gum! [echoing] 105 00:05:42,801 --> 00:05:44,302 [Puss grunting] 106 00:05:44,553 --> 00:05:48,473 I am afraid I have no gum, but there may be a peppery-mint in here somewhere. 107 00:05:48,557 --> 00:05:51,101 But I must warn you, things stored in my hat 108 00:05:51,184 --> 00:05:53,937 tend not to remain at the peak of freshness for... 109 00:05:55,146 --> 00:05:56,523 [grunts] 110 00:05:57,107 --> 00:05:59,651 [strained] Perhaps the other choice would have been better. 111 00:06:00,026 --> 00:06:01,236 Can we go back? 112 00:06:01,319 --> 00:06:04,823 [Storyteller] Yes. I grant you a Goldilocks do-over. 113 00:06:10,745 --> 00:06:13,915 Thank you. But this does not mean we are friends. 114 00:06:13,999 --> 00:06:15,542 Understood. 115 00:06:19,296 --> 00:06:20,296 Hmm. 116 00:06:23,675 --> 00:06:24,843 Ah-ha! 117 00:06:25,218 --> 00:06:28,263 This is the story of Goldilocks and the Three Bears. 118 00:06:28,346 --> 00:06:32,225 I have but to go through the events of this story and I will reach the end. 119 00:06:32,309 --> 00:06:34,811 Easy-peasy, ham and cheesy. 120 00:06:36,646 --> 00:06:37,647 [groans] 121 00:06:37,731 --> 00:06:38,732 Too hot. 122 00:06:39,316 --> 00:06:40,984 [shudders] Too cold. 123 00:06:41,610 --> 00:06:43,361 Ah. Just right. 124 00:06:44,404 --> 00:06:45,614 Too tall. 125 00:06:45,780 --> 00:06:46,948 Too wide. 126 00:06:47,032 --> 00:06:48,116 Just right. 127 00:06:49,075 --> 00:06:49,951 [grunting] 128 00:06:50,035 --> 00:06:51,077 Oh, no, it broke. 129 00:06:51,161 --> 00:06:54,039 [grunting] 130 00:06:54,122 --> 00:06:55,165 Too hard. 131 00:06:55,874 --> 00:06:56,874 Too soft. 132 00:06:58,209 --> 00:06:59,419 Just right. 133 00:06:59,502 --> 00:07:01,087 Then I go to sleep in this bed 134 00:07:01,171 --> 00:07:03,548 and await the arrival of the adorable family of bears: 135 00:07:03,632 --> 00:07:05,467 Papa Bear, Mama Bear and Baby Bear. 136 00:07:05,717 --> 00:07:07,510 Nothing could be more simpler. 137 00:07:08,011 --> 00:07:09,011 [door opens] 138 00:07:09,054 --> 00:07:11,556 [growling] 139 00:07:11,640 --> 00:07:13,099 - [shouts] - [Storyteller] Hold it! 140 00:07:13,183 --> 00:07:15,185 You have another choice to make. 141 00:07:16,019 --> 00:07:18,730 Should these bears be friends or foes? 142 00:07:18,897 --> 00:07:21,274 Make your choice and let me know. 143 00:07:21,608 --> 00:07:24,653 [Puss] This seems like a trick question. Friends... 144 00:07:24,819 --> 00:07:26,529 Did you say "foes"? 145 00:07:26,613 --> 00:07:27,864 I said "friends." 146 00:07:27,948 --> 00:07:29,741 I know. Just kidding. 147 00:07:29,824 --> 00:07:31,284 Your choice is made. 148 00:07:33,954 --> 00:07:35,455 Well, hello, there! 149 00:07:35,538 --> 00:07:37,248 We've got company! 150 00:07:37,332 --> 00:07:39,584 Is that a friend for me to play with? 151 00:07:39,668 --> 00:07:42,545 Howdy there, amigo. [laughs] 152 00:07:42,671 --> 00:07:44,172 Samuel T. Bearinger. 153 00:07:44,255 --> 00:07:46,800 - My wife, Gladys. She's a peach. - Who's my cuddle bunny? 154 00:07:46,883 --> 00:07:48,343 [exclaiming excitedly] 155 00:07:48,677 --> 00:07:51,805 - Oh, you simply must play with Sam Junior. - [groans] 156 00:07:51,888 --> 00:07:54,265 Hello, friend for me to play with. 157 00:07:54,975 --> 00:07:57,352 We gonna play horsey rides. 158 00:07:58,019 --> 00:07:59,562 Do not make me the horsey. 159 00:07:59,646 --> 00:08:01,356 You the horsey! 160 00:08:01,439 --> 00:08:02,482 [Puss grunting] 161 00:08:03,066 --> 00:08:05,568 - Horsey ride! - So, how was traffic? 162 00:08:05,902 --> 00:08:08,863 Oh, not bad. I picked up those acorns you wanted. 163 00:08:08,947 --> 00:08:11,866 That's nice. You know, Madeleine stopped by today. 164 00:08:12,200 --> 00:08:13,868 Is her hip better? 165 00:08:14,035 --> 00:08:16,413 Why are you so interested in Madeleine? 166 00:08:16,496 --> 00:08:17,622 Nothing. 167 00:08:17,706 --> 00:08:19,499 [Puss screaming, grunts] 168 00:08:21,126 --> 00:08:22,126 [groans] 169 00:08:23,628 --> 00:08:24,713 [yowls] 170 00:08:26,715 --> 00:08:28,717 Kitty don't wanna play no more? 171 00:08:28,800 --> 00:08:31,469 [Storyteller] I think I'd also like to see the angry bears. 172 00:08:31,553 --> 00:08:32,553 [Puss] What? 173 00:08:33,805 --> 00:08:35,098 [roaring] 174 00:08:36,891 --> 00:08:38,685 [Puss shouts, grunts] 175 00:08:41,688 --> 00:08:43,148 - [roaring] - [yowls] 176 00:08:45,108 --> 00:08:46,151 [Puss grunting] 177 00:08:47,318 --> 00:08:48,318 [roars] 178 00:08:49,571 --> 00:08:50,613 Oh, my... 179 00:08:51,364 --> 00:08:52,991 [flamenco music playing] 180 00:08:53,074 --> 00:08:54,075 [bears] Mmm? 181 00:08:56,786 --> 00:08:57,912 [Puss groaning] 182 00:09:05,045 --> 00:09:06,045 Ah-ha! 183 00:09:07,047 --> 00:09:08,047 [Puss yowls] 184 00:09:11,342 --> 00:09:12,342 Huh? 185 00:09:13,636 --> 00:09:14,721 Ha-ha! [gasps] 186 00:09:17,474 --> 00:09:18,600 [growling] 187 00:09:25,732 --> 00:09:28,860 [Storyteller] You know, I think I'd also like to see an interpretive dance. 188 00:09:29,069 --> 00:09:30,278 [Puss] What? 189 00:09:30,361 --> 00:09:32,572 [slow classical music playing] 190 00:09:36,576 --> 00:09:38,620 [Puss] What is this? What are we doing? 191 00:09:39,329 --> 00:09:41,122 I am not even in this. 192 00:09:41,331 --> 00:09:42,415 I kinda like that. 193 00:09:42,499 --> 00:09:45,710 [Storyteller] Obviously I am just messing with you. 194 00:09:45,794 --> 00:09:47,879 I'm sorry, was that not clear? 195 00:09:48,755 --> 00:09:49,756 [Puss] Ugh. 196 00:09:50,381 --> 00:09:54,052 Fine. I will watch their ridiculous dancings. 197 00:09:54,427 --> 00:09:57,889 But this must be just as painful for you as it is for me. 198 00:09:57,972 --> 00:10:01,101 [Storyteller] Ugh, you're right. I didn't think this through. 199 00:10:04,646 --> 00:10:05,647 [Puss] Oh. 200 00:10:05,730 --> 00:10:07,732 This part is actually pretty good. 201 00:10:07,816 --> 00:10:08,983 I like that. 202 00:10:09,275 --> 00:10:11,027 Well, surely that is it. 203 00:10:11,194 --> 00:10:13,321 You'll let me go now. Yes? 204 00:10:14,030 --> 00:10:18,201 [Storyteller] What? No. This is a book of stories, plural. 205 00:10:18,576 --> 00:10:21,121 You have to get to the end of all the stories to get out. 206 00:10:21,204 --> 00:10:22,831 - Oh, no. - Oh, yes. 207 00:10:22,956 --> 00:10:25,083 Who are you, villain? I must know. 208 00:10:25,583 --> 00:10:27,127 You will never find out. 209 00:10:27,544 --> 00:10:30,130 I will. And I will escape from your book. 210 00:10:30,547 --> 00:10:32,173 This I swear! 211 00:10:32,257 --> 00:10:34,676 [Storyteller chuckles] Yes, we'll see about that. 212 00:10:34,759 --> 00:10:37,178 Uh-huh. Here comes another story now. 213 00:10:37,428 --> 00:10:41,015 And whatever you choose, this one won't be so easy. 214 00:10:42,892 --> 00:10:47,188 Two tales you must choose between: Pirate Cat or Evil Queen. 215 00:10:47,730 --> 00:10:50,567 Ooh. Pirate stuff. It is just the best! 216 00:10:50,775 --> 00:10:53,194 There is no way I am going to choose the Evil Queen. 217 00:10:53,278 --> 00:10:56,114 I heard you say "choose the Evil Queen." So be it. 218 00:10:56,322 --> 00:10:57,490 No! I did not. 219 00:10:57,574 --> 00:10:58,867 Your choice is made. 220 00:10:59,159 --> 00:11:00,159 [sighs] 221 00:11:01,494 --> 00:11:02,704 The prince! 222 00:11:03,663 --> 00:11:06,457 The prince is here to awaken Snow White. 223 00:11:07,250 --> 00:11:10,086 Uh... I see. I am the prince. 224 00:11:11,546 --> 00:11:13,673 Thank you. Hmm... 225 00:11:13,756 --> 00:11:15,675 You are less tall than usual. 226 00:11:15,925 --> 00:11:17,969 Are you dwarves? Should there not be seven? 227 00:11:18,553 --> 00:11:22,765 Don't believe everything you hear in the lame-stream media, man. 228 00:11:25,560 --> 00:11:26,644 I know this story. 229 00:11:26,728 --> 00:11:30,148 I kiss Snow White, she awakens and we are married. The end. 230 00:11:32,108 --> 00:11:33,735 [yowls, grunts] 231 00:11:35,862 --> 00:11:37,322 No, no, no. 232 00:11:37,405 --> 00:11:40,283 She despises me. I will not kiss her. 233 00:11:40,491 --> 00:11:42,535 Not even to escape this vile book. 234 00:11:42,619 --> 00:11:44,913 So you condemn her to eternal slumber? 235 00:11:45,496 --> 00:11:47,165 What a big meanie. 236 00:11:47,248 --> 00:11:49,626 [all shouting] Meanie! Big meanie! 237 00:11:49,709 --> 00:11:52,879 I am not going to kiss her. No way, no how. 238 00:11:53,046 --> 00:11:54,756 [Storyteller] We'll see about that. 239 00:11:54,839 --> 00:11:56,174 It's choice time. 240 00:11:57,759 --> 00:12:02,055 Harken now, your choice is this: Evil Queen or awkward kiss? 241 00:12:02,555 --> 00:12:04,807 Even though Señora Zapata despises me, 242 00:12:04,891 --> 00:12:07,143 I cannot leave her trapped in that coffin. 243 00:12:07,226 --> 00:12:09,354 I must kiss her and set her free. 244 00:12:09,812 --> 00:12:11,439 Your choice is made. 245 00:12:11,564 --> 00:12:12,565 Let us do this! 246 00:12:13,107 --> 00:12:15,276 [Puss grumbling] 247 00:12:15,360 --> 00:12:16,360 Fine. 248 00:12:18,321 --> 00:12:19,322 [grunts] 249 00:12:19,447 --> 00:12:20,782 I will do the kissing. 250 00:12:20,865 --> 00:12:23,826 But that does not mean we are getting married. 251 00:12:24,827 --> 00:12:25,827 [groans] 252 00:12:29,958 --> 00:12:32,043 [heart beating rapidly] 253 00:12:40,176 --> 00:12:41,970 - [Puss yowls] - My hero! 254 00:12:43,513 --> 00:12:45,682 We are getting married! [grunts] 255 00:12:45,765 --> 00:12:47,767 - [Puss] Whoa! - [giggling] 256 00:12:47,934 --> 00:12:49,143 Oh, darn. 257 00:12:49,227 --> 00:12:51,229 [bell tolling] 258 00:12:53,606 --> 00:12:58,403 [Storyteller] And so, with that, madame and cat were well and truly wed. 259 00:13:00,238 --> 00:13:04,909 They named their children Marla, Milton, Blanca, Frank and Ted. 260 00:13:05,576 --> 00:13:06,494 [farts] 261 00:13:06,577 --> 00:13:11,958 A house of stone they called their own, and there they laid their heads. 262 00:13:15,003 --> 00:13:19,090 And here they'll stay for all their days together till they're dead. 263 00:13:20,383 --> 00:13:21,383 [Puss] Wait, what? 264 00:13:21,968 --> 00:13:25,221 That's right, Puss in Boots. You will remain with her for all eternity. 265 00:13:25,305 --> 00:13:27,432 [Storyteller laughing] 266 00:13:27,515 --> 00:13:30,893 Maybe, we could go back and try the other choice? 267 00:13:31,394 --> 00:13:32,937 Pretty please? 268 00:13:33,021 --> 00:13:34,814 I will take pity on you, Puss in Boots. 269 00:13:35,940 --> 00:13:37,316 [grunting] 270 00:13:38,818 --> 00:13:42,113 Kissing Señora Zapata was a disaster of epic proportions. 271 00:13:42,196 --> 00:13:43,322 I will find the Evil Queen 272 00:13:43,406 --> 00:13:45,867 who cursed Snow White and make her reverse the curse. 273 00:13:46,743 --> 00:13:47,952 [chuckles] 274 00:13:48,036 --> 00:13:50,288 Reverse the curse. Reverse the curse. This is fun to say. 275 00:13:51,122 --> 00:13:53,541 But, wait. How will I find this Evil Queen? 276 00:13:53,624 --> 00:13:56,753 [Storyteller] Uh, leave that to me. [clears throat] 277 00:13:56,878 --> 00:13:59,630 And so, after months of searching... 278 00:13:59,714 --> 00:14:00,840 Ah, a shortcut. 279 00:14:00,923 --> 00:14:04,135 Prince Puss found the Evil Queen. 280 00:14:04,218 --> 00:14:06,220 [screams, grunts] 281 00:14:08,139 --> 00:14:11,601 [The Duchess] I'm just saying maybe we could occasionally have a conversation 282 00:14:11,684 --> 00:14:13,853 about something other than who's the fairest. 283 00:14:16,064 --> 00:14:19,150 Like, I don't know, art, music? 284 00:14:19,233 --> 00:14:20,233 Silence! 285 00:14:20,276 --> 00:14:21,276 [gasps] 286 00:14:21,778 --> 00:14:23,279 Dulcinea is evil? 287 00:14:23,696 --> 00:14:25,782 You have gone too far, Storyteller. 288 00:14:26,282 --> 00:14:31,496 Magic mirror over there, who's the fairest of the fair? 289 00:14:31,579 --> 00:14:34,665 Ugh! So we're doing this routine again, are we? 290 00:14:34,749 --> 00:14:38,920 Yes, we are. Because I am vain as well as evil! 291 00:14:39,170 --> 00:14:40,797 I know, I know. 292 00:14:41,547 --> 00:14:45,009 [Dulcinea] I'm so evil. Like, really evil. 293 00:14:45,093 --> 00:14:48,179 I'm so evil I don't even have my book. 294 00:14:48,721 --> 00:14:50,515 Yes, whatever, fine. 295 00:14:50,640 --> 00:14:54,143 Of course you're the fairest of the fair. You're always... 296 00:14:54,560 --> 00:14:57,772 Ay, chihuahua. Mama like. 297 00:14:57,855 --> 00:14:58,689 What? 298 00:14:58,773 --> 00:15:01,234 [The Duchess] Fairest art thou not, forsooth. 299 00:15:01,317 --> 00:15:04,153 Not pretty as that cat in boots. 300 00:15:05,154 --> 00:15:06,781 We say "handsome." 301 00:15:07,490 --> 00:15:09,117 [giggling] 302 00:15:10,701 --> 00:15:11,701 [Dulcinea growls] 303 00:15:12,286 --> 00:15:14,705 You must be destroyed! 304 00:15:15,415 --> 00:15:17,417 [grunting, panting] 305 00:15:18,459 --> 00:15:19,459 [screaming] 306 00:15:24,841 --> 00:15:27,176 I do not want to hurt you. [grunts] 307 00:15:27,844 --> 00:15:29,053 You're not going to. 308 00:15:29,387 --> 00:15:33,558 Demon wing and hangman's tree, let there now a dragon be. 309 00:15:34,684 --> 00:15:37,520 No matter how bad a day is, it can always get worse. 310 00:15:38,521 --> 00:15:39,647 [groans] 311 00:15:45,987 --> 00:15:48,406 - [roaring] - [grunts] 312 00:15:49,157 --> 00:15:50,157 [gasping] 313 00:15:51,993 --> 00:15:54,829 Aw, is the pretty kitty in trouble? 314 00:15:54,912 --> 00:15:55,997 Handsome! 315 00:15:58,207 --> 00:15:59,625 [growling] 316 00:16:03,588 --> 00:16:04,839 You're pathetic! 317 00:16:04,922 --> 00:16:07,925 You should just go live in a barn and catch mice. 318 00:16:08,009 --> 00:16:10,219 How did you know my retirement plans? 319 00:16:15,308 --> 00:16:16,851 [growling] 320 00:16:16,934 --> 00:16:21,772 You are nothing but a sad little kitten with an adorable accent and tacky boots. 321 00:16:23,149 --> 00:16:26,152 No one speaks ill of my boots! 322 00:16:27,361 --> 00:16:29,947 [grunting, shouts] 323 00:16:30,031 --> 00:16:31,866 No! 324 00:16:32,074 --> 00:16:32,950 [gasps] 325 00:16:33,034 --> 00:16:34,034 No! 326 00:16:39,540 --> 00:16:40,540 You! 327 00:16:41,417 --> 00:16:42,793 What have you done? 328 00:16:42,877 --> 00:16:45,922 That mirror was the source of all my power. 329 00:16:48,758 --> 00:16:52,845 It's not right. You're fairer than me so you have to die! 330 00:16:52,929 --> 00:16:56,015 Pay no attention to the words of the magic mirror, Dulcinea. 331 00:16:56,098 --> 00:16:59,393 You, my dear, are the fairest I have ever seen. 332 00:17:00,561 --> 00:17:01,771 Aww. 333 00:17:01,854 --> 00:17:04,524 [Storyteller] What a lovely moment. 334 00:17:04,607 --> 00:17:06,943 [sighs] This guy. Am I right? 335 00:17:07,026 --> 00:17:09,195 Tell me about it. Who is he, anyway? 336 00:17:09,278 --> 00:17:12,782 I do not know. But I will find out. This I swear! 337 00:17:12,865 --> 00:17:15,159 Not likely, me bucko. 338 00:17:15,243 --> 00:17:18,412 And now, I think it's time to give you a choice. 339 00:17:19,622 --> 00:17:24,001 Will you kiss the Evil Queen, or would a handshake be more keen? 340 00:17:25,294 --> 00:17:28,381 Well, the handshake would be more gentlemanly. Uh... 341 00:17:28,464 --> 00:17:31,509 But, no. A kiss. A kiss would make a better story. 342 00:17:31,592 --> 00:17:32,592 Very well. 343 00:17:33,886 --> 00:17:36,847 Before we do this, there are some things you should know. 344 00:17:36,931 --> 00:17:37,931 Yes? 345 00:17:38,516 --> 00:17:39,934 Yes. [chuckles] Eh... 346 00:17:40,017 --> 00:17:42,603 First, I ate some blue cheese earlier today, 347 00:17:42,687 --> 00:17:44,480 so I apologize for my breath. 348 00:17:44,564 --> 00:17:47,358 Second, I am real and you are not. 349 00:17:48,025 --> 00:17:49,986 What makes you think you're real? 350 00:17:51,779 --> 00:17:56,450 I think I am real, therefore I am real. 351 00:17:56,784 --> 00:17:58,286 I... think? 352 00:17:58,619 --> 00:18:01,372 Stop wasting those lips on words. 353 00:18:08,087 --> 00:18:11,173 [instrumental music playing] 354 00:18:14,468 --> 00:18:19,223 ♪ There's a cat So much in love that ♪ 355 00:18:19,307 --> 00:18:23,936 - ♪ A rainbow tickles his toes ♪ - [both cheering] 356 00:18:24,145 --> 00:18:27,106 - ♪ A lucky kitten ♪ - [both laughing] 357 00:18:27,481 --> 00:18:29,483 ♪ Solidly smitten ♪ 358 00:18:30,443 --> 00:18:33,613 ♪ Flying and sighing ♪ 359 00:18:33,696 --> 00:18:35,948 ♪ He goes ♪ 360 00:18:36,032 --> 00:18:40,745 - ♪ La, la, la, la-la-la ♪ - [sighs] 361 00:18:41,287 --> 00:18:44,582 - ♪ La-la-la ♪ - [chuckles] 362 00:18:45,124 --> 00:18:48,878 This must be the end of the tale, no? I mean, we had a romantic kiss, 363 00:18:48,961 --> 00:18:51,297 and you cannot get any more ending-y than that. 364 00:18:51,380 --> 00:18:53,716 [Storyteller] No, of course this isn't the end. 365 00:18:53,799 --> 00:18:55,760 - What? - [Storyteller laughing] 366 00:18:55,843 --> 00:18:56,843 "The end." 367 00:18:58,137 --> 00:19:00,306 Why am I laughing? This isn't funny. 368 00:19:00,514 --> 00:19:02,975 That was only the end of this story. 369 00:19:03,059 --> 00:19:07,438 There will be another and another and another, forever! 370 00:19:07,521 --> 00:19:08,521 [growls] 371 00:19:10,858 --> 00:19:12,068 [sputters, coughs] 372 00:19:13,944 --> 00:19:15,029 [bleating] 373 00:19:15,112 --> 00:19:18,407 No! No Little Bo Peep. I have had enough of you, Storyteller. 374 00:19:18,491 --> 00:19:20,826 Whoever you are, I am going to get you! 375 00:19:21,494 --> 00:19:23,079 [Storyteller laughing] 376 00:19:23,162 --> 00:19:28,459 Oh! Oh, no. Oh, no. I hope you don't hit my disembodied voice with your stick. 377 00:19:28,751 --> 00:19:31,504 Show yourself. [grunts] I demand it! 378 00:19:31,587 --> 00:19:32,922 Whoa! [groans] 379 00:19:34,090 --> 00:19:36,884 [grunting, shouts] 380 00:19:38,969 --> 00:19:39,969 What? 381 00:19:43,808 --> 00:19:46,352 [Storyteller] Oh, uh... Don't bother looking in there. 382 00:19:46,435 --> 00:19:48,187 It's nothing. You... 383 00:19:48,270 --> 00:19:50,606 Wait a minute, this is just a painting. 384 00:19:55,486 --> 00:19:56,696 What is this place? 385 00:19:57,154 --> 00:20:00,574 Well, well, so you've found me, Puss in Boots. 386 00:20:00,658 --> 00:20:03,536 And now you know that I am... 387 00:20:03,619 --> 00:20:06,706 Fartholomew Fishflinger! 388 00:20:06,789 --> 00:20:07,832 [laughing] 389 00:20:08,416 --> 00:20:11,877 It has been you this whole time? But you sounded so different. 390 00:20:11,961 --> 00:20:15,339 Mm-hmm. I can sound like anyone. [giggles] 391 00:20:16,006 --> 00:20:19,927 [as Puss] I am a fancy-pants cat and I think I am better than everyone. 392 00:20:20,010 --> 00:20:21,010 [Puss growls] 393 00:20:21,053 --> 00:20:24,557 [as Dulcinea] I'm a goody-two-shoes and I don't know my book is dumb. 394 00:20:24,640 --> 00:20:26,559 [giggles, clears throat] 395 00:20:26,642 --> 00:20:29,770 [mimics male voice] Uh, I'm Steve and I smell like old dumplings. 396 00:20:29,854 --> 00:20:30,938 Uh... 397 00:20:32,022 --> 00:20:36,068 Okay, if you knew Steve, that was so totally him. [giggles] 398 00:20:36,152 --> 00:20:37,528 Wait, when we last fought, 399 00:20:37,611 --> 00:20:40,614 you had turned from a mouse into a disembodied soul. 400 00:20:40,698 --> 00:20:44,702 - Why are you back in mouse form? - Oh, I'm so glad you asked. [giggles] 401 00:20:44,785 --> 00:20:47,288 It all began months ago. 402 00:20:48,581 --> 00:20:51,917 As my soul floated up from San Lorenzo, 403 00:20:52,042 --> 00:20:54,837 I saw before me a... Hey, wait. 404 00:20:55,546 --> 00:20:58,549 Do you really care, or are you asking out of politeness? 405 00:20:58,632 --> 00:21:01,135 - Politeness. En garde! - [yells] 406 00:21:04,305 --> 00:21:06,515 [grunting] 407 00:21:10,811 --> 00:21:15,149 Oh, you should have stayed in the story. Think of what fun it would have been. 408 00:21:15,232 --> 00:21:16,567 It was no fun at all. 409 00:21:16,901 --> 00:21:19,612 I was maimed and beaten in every way imaginable. 410 00:21:19,695 --> 00:21:21,572 Oh, I didn't say fun for you. 411 00:21:21,655 --> 00:21:22,865 [laughing] 412 00:21:27,286 --> 00:21:28,286 [grunting] 413 00:21:31,290 --> 00:21:32,333 [groaning] 414 00:21:33,751 --> 00:21:34,751 [laughing] 415 00:21:37,004 --> 00:21:38,004 [Puss] Ah-ha! 416 00:21:38,047 --> 00:21:41,091 Just as Dulcinea's power came from her mirror, 417 00:21:41,175 --> 00:21:43,719 your power comes from your pen. 418 00:21:43,803 --> 00:21:45,429 What? Uh, no, it doesn't. 419 00:21:46,138 --> 00:21:48,682 This story is over! 420 00:21:48,766 --> 00:21:49,809 [screaming] 421 00:21:51,143 --> 00:21:54,063 Hmm? Hmm? Uh-oh. 422 00:21:55,356 --> 00:21:58,150 No! 423 00:21:58,651 --> 00:22:00,444 [squeaking] 424 00:22:00,528 --> 00:22:02,613 - [Puss grunting] - [screams] 425 00:22:03,864 --> 00:22:07,910 We will meet again, Puss in Boots. [laughs] You can count on it. 426 00:22:07,993 --> 00:22:09,995 [grunts, growls] 427 00:22:10,079 --> 00:22:11,163 Huh? 428 00:22:12,665 --> 00:22:14,583 [Puss screams] 429 00:22:18,295 --> 00:22:21,131 Some stories are best left unread. 430 00:22:23,175 --> 00:22:24,718 [whistles] 431 00:22:25,469 --> 00:22:26,595 Ooh! 432 00:22:27,429 --> 00:22:30,266 The Adventures of Puss in Boots. Hmm. 433 00:22:30,349 --> 00:22:33,269 Never heard of him, but this could be interesting. 434 00:22:33,352 --> 00:22:35,563 [screaming] 435 00:22:40,359 --> 00:22:43,362 [fast, lively flamenco music playing]