♪♪♪
Well, what's he saying?
I can't hear a thing, but he looks like the naughty kid
in the principal's office.
When you were in there, did you tell him about
the missing kerosene canisters at the simulation?
Well, I told him what I saw.
All of it.
Cooper died because of Beckett's negligence.
We all know it, but you're all afraid to say so.
[ Sighs ]
I mean his -- his questions seemed kind of general to me.
You know, like, "Where were you when?
Who was with you at the time?"
You know, I bet --
I bet Beckett gets off with just a slap on the wrist.
No, this isn't a slap on the wrist.
Not if there's a training captain here.
So if we get a call, what?
We're just supposed to blindly follow a captain
who's under investigation?
Morning, 19. Let's gather up.
No, no, no. You don't have to line up.
Let's bring it in.
It's routine for a training captain
to investigate after a tragedy like what happened to Cooper,
to figure out what happened,
make sure that it doesn't happen again.
So it's extremely important that you are all
completely honest and fully transparent with him.
We clear?
Yes, Chief.Good.
[ Clears throat ]
Have a great shift.
Thank you.
♪♪♪
Hey, am I late? Were we called in early?
Everyone who was in the -- the training.
[Quietly] Was he drunk?
Was who drunk?
Was Beckett drunk when he made the mistake
that killed a firefighter?
We don't know that he made a mistake.
That's what they're up there trying to figure out.
So he wasn't drunk?
[ Sighs ] As far as I know, he's been sober a while.
I mean, I think that's why he's been so cranky.
Why? You know something I don't?
I -- I'm just sad that someone died.
You know, we sign up to fight fires.
We know the risk. But at a training exercise?
It shouldn't have happened.
Agreed.
Hey, what's, uh, what's going on with you and Carina?
We're not nottalking.
Mm. That's what I'm talking about.
I kissed Eli.
♪♪♪
You have nothing to say about that?
Oh, no. I got a lot to say.
I have so much to say about it.
But you know, nobody likes to hear "I told you so."
But you didn't tell me so.
Uh, you know what?
Uh, technically, I didn't, but I told me so, in my head, so...
You're ridiculous. Uh, why?
Because I saw this coming from a mile away?
How? How? When?
Uh, last time we were in this room.
Literally, the last time we were working in here together,
you were like, "Ugh, I hate that guy."
But it was in that,
"I'm totally gonna make out with him in the end"
kind of way.
Well, you know what? It happened.
Yeah! Yeah, okay.
This -- This is the kind of drama I am here for.
Let me see.He keeps texting me.
I -- Oh, my God. He's funny. Right?
Yeah, I guess.
I mean...yeah. Mm.
[ Keys clicking ]
Vic, are you -- what are you doing?
No, seriously. Just stop.
Nothing, I'm just trying to --Hey, hey.
No! No! No. I -- No, no.
Come on, let me live. No.
Stop it. Ooh!
One second. Okay.[ Message swoops ]
Sorry.
Well, now he'll think you're funny, too,
so you're welcome.
[ Laughing ] Hey.
You actually think this investigation's
gonna get rid of Beckett?
Hey, if this is happening, Ruiz, then something's happening.
This is just a preliminary step.
You know, taking statements, building a timeline.
So, no singing, "Ding-dong, the Beckett's gone"?
Not yet.
Maybe I could, like, uh, like, hum it softly to myself?
Mm. If your humming is as bad as you're singing, maybe no.
Hey, we can get Hughes to sing it when it's time.
[ Loud laughter ] Alright.
Take care, man.
Still feel like singing?
If you've got time to lean, you've got time to clean, 19.
Sullivan, you're up.
♪♪♪
[ Cellphone dings ]
Oh, someone's trying to reach you.
Oh, Eli. No, I know.
I know that you hate him, but he's really not that bad.
Have you seen my poll numbers lately?
Andy: I don't hate him.
I don't hate him.
I hate...
I don't hate anything.
I hate politics. Don't you hate politics?
You used to hate politics. I think I hate the word "hate."
Are you having a seizure?
[ Exhales deeply ] Maybe.
[ Cellphone rings ]I got to take this.
I got to take this.
Eli, my man. Talk to me.
Yeah, no, I'm here.
Engine 19, Ladder 19, and Aid Car 19
requested to 2624 Aldred Road.
[ Alarm beeping ]
Hey. Hey, Aldred Road.
That's your old neighborhood again, right?
This one has Tomás's shop.
Okay. Theo, switch with me.
I'm on desk duty. I'll go.
No, I'm good. Are you sure?
I said I'm good.
♪♪♪
[ Siren wailing ]
♪♪♪
His hands are shaking. Is Beckett drunk right now?
Beckett's an idiot, but he wouldn't be drunk on the job.
In the middle of this investigation?
I don't know that it's really great decision-making skills
guiding his choices right now, you know?
I think he's drinking.
I think he tried to stay dry,
and it's just -- there's temptation.
And I just -- I think he's drinking.
Maybe it's the shakes because he hasn't hada drink.
And that's any better?
I bought him a bottle when I was really a mess.
I know it's awful and I'm going to hell,
but I bought him a bottle,
and I put it right in front of him on his desk.
Well, if any of us follow Beckett
into a fire right now, joke's on us.
Okay. Listen up.
♪♪♪
Larsson, Ruiz!
[ Coughing ]
Is anyone else in there?
I don't know. I could barely see the door.
Herrera, we have five coming to triage.
Copy, Bishop.
♪♪♪
Okay, fire is well-established with heavy smoke.
What's going on?Gibson, Bishop, fire attack.
Ruiz, search and rescue.
Herrera, what do you think you're doing?
Wiggins, cut the utilities in the building.
Sullivan: She's taking over.
This what we're doing? Are we sure?
I mean, of course we're sure, but are we sure?
Yes.
Alright, this is different than Beckett's apathy,
where he just lets Herrera take over because he's checked out.
Warren. No, this is basically a mutiny, okay?
We could all get fired.
This could affect everybody's ability
to get any job after this, forever.
Warren, this doesn't work unless we're all in this together.
♪♪♪
We're all in this together.
♪♪♪
Herrera, we're not doing this again.
You're correct.
A drunk captain will not put my teamin danger today.
That is inflammatory and not your call.
You're sitting this one out.
That is not yourcall!
Yeah, it's mine.
You're not getting us killed today.
Cutler, inch-and-a-half hose line fire attack.
If you think I'm just gonna stand here and let you --
Hey! Hey! You need to calm down. Don't talk to her like that.
If she needs protecting from you, Montgomery,
she shouldn't be commanding this scene.
Enough, Beckett!
Captain, I swear to God, if you don't --
Montgomery, get back to triage. I got this.
Beckett, I don't recommend you making this more difficult.
I don't care what you recommend, Herrera.
You're completely out of line.
Key people are concerned you might --
I'm not drunk, Herrera.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. Take it easy.
Alright, let's not get distracted by this meltdown.
We have a job to do.
Klyne, we need a ladder on the east side of the building.
If you don't stand down right now, I'll call the chief.
I'll tell her exactly what you're doing.
Go ahead! Go ahead and call her! Let her see you like this!
I mean, Sullivan, Warren --
surely the adults here can see how insane this is.
And what she's doing is gonna blow back on all of you!
Captain, I think you should follow Herrera's orders.
They're not orders if they're coming from a subordinate!
Okay, let's not cause a scene in front of the civilians.
Larsson, get another line on that roof.
Warren, back to triage. Sullivan, move.
Warren: Come on.
You're gonna regret this.
♪♪♪
Chief. Oh, no, no.
No need for all of that. As you were.
Apologies, Chief.
I'm old school -- and ex-military.
Old habits.
First day of boot camp, I was too slow to stand
when my sergeant walked into my barracks,
and my arms still hurt from how many push-ups he made me do.
But I learned respect for respect.
Ex-military, too.
And old school as well, if I'm being perfectly honest.
Ah.
Oh, I hide it that well?
No, no.
It's just, uh, well you're -- you're, uh...
Yeah. Yeah.
I have to play to a lot of crowds.
Right.
Anyway, it's appreciated.
And a reminder that some of our newer members,
let's call them, are not as professional.
Indeed.
I'm glad that you're on this.
It's a tough assignment,
and we're very fortunate to have someone so seasoned,
so professional handling the investigation
into what happened to Lt. Cooper.
Well, thank you, Chief.
You got everything you needed talking to 19?
I know that's a little unorthodox,
me asking anything about it at this point.
No. But this is my first of these inquiries
with the Seattle department,
and, yeah, I'm just doing due diligence.
No, no.
Everybody's been very forthcoming and cooperative.
Good. Captain Beckett?
Sean can always be counted on.
He's old school, like us.
Yeah, I had heard as much.
Which is why it's a relief, actually,
that it's looking like a no-fault.
Really?
Well, I still have some follow-ups with 88,
but it's looking good for us.
Nothing that can really be directly pinned
on Captain Beckett,
should we have to, uh, present it that way.
♪♪♪
That is very good for me to know.
Thank you, Josh. I appreciate you.
Chief.
♪♪♪
Uh...
Hello, hello! Hi.
Hi, hi. What...
Hello. Hi.
I could have waited for the next clinic day
to bring this stuff...
But you wanted to see Maya?
Guilty. Mm-hmm.
It's like I have a crush on her or something.
Aww.
It's like the very beginning of a relationship,
where both people are into it,
but also they don't really know where they stand,
so they don't want to come off too strong.
But also, we are already married.
It's sweet. It's stressful.
I like it, but Maya's on a call.
Oh.
Okay, well, I might as well stock this stuff while I'm here.
Okay.
[ Gasps ]
Hi.
Hmm.
This is one of the only times
I've been to this station where someone is excited to see me.
Oh, we love it when you're here for Crisis One.
It's just the sneak-attack, dive-bomb, drive-by therapy
that leaves us a little squiggly. Ah.
Oh, I started my psych course at U-Dub.
Oh, that's right. Mm-hmm.
How's it going?Uh, it's amazing.
It's amazing. I love it.
Uh-huh.
Dr. Crompton?
Yeah?
Oh, the things I would do to that man.
Dr. Diane!
I mean, if I wasn't in a relationship.
Uh-huh. And he wasn't married, and I had the option.
Ooh, okay. Oh, please.
You would, too. Well...
I mean, to look like that and think like that.
Mm-hmm.
[ Both chuckle ]
You know, we can talk like this now.
We're colleagues. We're equals.
I wouldn't say "equals."
After Crompton's course and this? Equals.
[ Coughing ]
I'm glad you got out of there safe, Tomás,
but this better not be because of those extension cords.
No, bro. I did exactly what you guys told me to do.
I don't know what the hell happened.
Okay, okay. You can't move
while I'm trying to help you out of here, okay?
Wait, wait. Hey!
Herrera, we got one more inside! Name is José Ortega.
Evac, there's one person still inside.
Name is José Ortega. Move, move!
♪♪♪
Herrera, we need another way in.
♪♪♪
Copy, we need an alt entry --
In the back alley behind the shop.
Tomás's apartment connects into the barbershop.
Okay, Gibson, behind the shop, there's an apartment.
You can breach that door and access the rear of the shop.
Got it!
♪♪♪
Maya: Great, a backyard junkyard.
One man's junk is another man's --
Man's fire hazard.
♪♪♪
Herrera, there's a metal security gate on the door.
We're gonna have to bust through that.
Copy. Cutler, help Bishop.
Run a line there and be ready.
That door's our only way in.
Well, I'm just saying,
why is he hanging out being all sourpuss,
and you're here school nursing me?
Is anyone looking for Mr. Ortega? Yes. Yes.
Now, please, stay still so I can listen to your lungs.
[ Groans ]Tomás. Tomás!
Mrs. Ortega?
Tomás...
Then it was all smoke.
You just left Jose?
Theo, go in there and get my José, please!
If I could, I'd already be in there, Mrs. Ortega.
But I --
Señora, wait! No!
Hey! Hey!
Okay. Okay. Okay.
José!
How has only a fourth of the dispatch division been trained?
We can train up as many C1 units as we want,
but if they're not being deployed correctly --
You're Diane, right?
Like Diane,Diane?
Like Maya's therapist Diane?
Yes.
That's what I thought. Okay.
[ Sighs ] I feel bad.
I know she just wants a little insight about Maya,
but, you know, doctor-patient.
She knows that. But I mean, I get it.
If somebody came in here who understood
the inner contours of my boyfriend's brain,
I'd want to pump them for information, too.
Hmm.
Something going on there?
Uh, no. No.
He's just working through some stuff right now.
Okay, I know you can't tell me anything about Maya,
but you can tell me how are youfeeling
about the whole situation.
That won't be about Maya. That's about you.
Carina, you know I really can't.
Okay, what if it was your wife or husband or -- or partner?
I just need something. I need something to make me f--
I feel like I'm the one who's losing it,
and I can't keep showing up for the fixing of it
if I am losing it.
Fine. You get three questions.
If I can answer them, I will.
Really? Yes.
Great. That's one.
Oh, co-- Wow.
Two more.
Okay. Okay.
Is my wife doing better right now?
Like, in your professional opinion,
is my wife doing clinically better right now?
What would my saying yes to that mean to you?
That we're getting somewhere.
Then it looks to me like you're getting somewhere.
Great. Okay, one more.
Do you think Maya and I are going to make it through this?
Carina, I can't answer that.
Yes, you can. You know. I know you know.
Y-You're Diane.
I can't answer that, but I can tell you
that you can't go through what you've both just gone through
without thinking and feeling different things
on the other side of it.
So even if you still want to be together,
you have to figure out how to make it a "together"
that works for both of you.
I feel like you're saying we are breaking up.
I'm really not.
Then what are you saying?
That you have to figure out what you want, what you need,
and what that all realistically looks like right now,
and then you have to ask for it.
Okay, my head hurts.
Yeah, that's how it always feels when she does her thing.
Y-Yeah? Yeah.
♪♪♪
[ Door creaking ]
Sullivan, fire's moving north fast. What's your status?
Sullivan: Slow going.
Coming out to get the rotary saw, in case we need it.
Copy.
We don't have a lot of time before it's too risky to go in.
What's she talking about?
My José is still in there!No, no, no.
We're doing everything we can to save him, okay?
No, you're not.
You're all out here, talking to me. No.
No. I -- We all have a job to do.
Mine now is here with you.
Mrs. Ortega, please.
Please, Theo. Go get my husband!
Hey!Beckett, what are you -- Stand down!
Stand down! Stand down!
No! Beckett!Beckett! Beckett!
No! No!
♪♪♪
[ Groans ]
♪♪♪
Didn't really think that through, did you?
Mr. Ortega!
Mr. Ortega, SFD!
Surprised just how secretarial leadership is?
No, Dean complained about it plenty.
[ Tires squeal ]
[ Horn blaring ]
Whoa.
Ma'am! Ma'am, ma'am!
You can take -- It's okay!
It's okay.
Ma'am, can you hear me?Oh, my God.
What's your name?I --
Did I -- Did I make it? Am I here?
If your goal was to get yourself to a fire station, you did --
which is impressive, under the circumstances.
I'm Diane. I'm Vic. What's your name?
I just learned to drive. I didn't know what to do.
It was like I couldn't even stop driving.
I hit everything on the way over here.
There's a lot of blood on her right side.
We're gonna have to keep her calm and very still.
There is a deer in my car!
We're gonna take care of all of that.
We're gonna need more hands.
Carina! DeLuca, we need you down here now!
Get ready for whatever comes out of there.
19, this has now become a two-man rescue,
Mr. Ortega and one of our own.
Beckett pulled a cowboy move. I need that door breached now!
[ Cellphone rings ]
Josh, hi.
Yes, that's right.
Divita Burton will be continuing the interviews at 88.[ Keys jingle ]
You know, I always did think that it was absurd
that these inquiries were conducted by one person,
rather than an entire team, so I changed that.
She seems more than up to the task,
and I think that with both your perspectives
that the department will get a much clearer picture.
Mm-hmm. Indeed.
Okay, talk soon.
[ Scoffs ]
[ Cellphone clatters ]
Monica: [ Crying ] Oh, my God. This is the worst.
Okay, just don't look at it. Just tell me your name.
We're doing introductions right now?
I'm Carina. That's Vic, and that's Diane.
Diane! She told me.
They're incredible firefighters and shrinks,
and I'm a great doctor.
You don't even know your luck.
Luck?
There are antlers inside my body!
Okay, we're gonna take care of that right now, alright?
How's your pain?
It's not so bad, as long as I don't move.
Is that normal? Well, here.
Can you put these on for me? Okay.
I never even wanted to learn how to drive!
I was scared of this kind of thing, and now look.
You were scared about thiskind of things?
Not this, specifically.
But when you learn to drive when you're as old as I am,
you think about all the mortality and fatality
and the danger everywhere --
stuff a lucky clueless 16-year-old doesn't.
Ready. Alright.
Uh, can you turn that way to protect your eyes for me?
Face the deer?!
F-Face me. Face me. Look at me.
Look at me. I'm -- I'm right here.
Look at me. Look at me. I'm right here.Oh, no.
I'm right here. Good.
Mr. Ortega!
♪♪♪
Alright, don't worry, Mr. Ortega.
We're gonna get you out of here as soon as we can.
♪♪♪
[ Groans ]
♪♪♪
I got you, Mr. Ortega.
Ahh!
♪♪♪
[ Groans ]
♪♪♪
[ Groans ]
♪♪♪
[ Extinguisher clatters ]
♪♪♪
Ahh!
I got you, Mr. Ortega.
♪♪♪
It's you and me, buddy.
Alright.
[ Coughing ]
♪♪♪
Penetrating injury into her right side.
She's stable, but we need to secure
these antlers before we saw.
And by "saw," you mean get these antlers out of me, right?
We don't want to risk injuring anything else.
The way they've gone in, they might be close to the liver
or the kidney, and we don't want to move things around.
It's just better for you to be in a proper hospital for this.
Oh, that's perfect.
I'm going to get gauze and ABD pads.
Okay, it's starting to hurt.
It's starting to really hurt.
It didn't really before, but now --
That's 'cause the initial adrenaline rush is wearing off.
I'm gonna give you a little something for the pain, okay?
Okay. Okay.
Keep pressure on. I'm going to get the saw.
I'll put this to secure the wound.
You might feel a little pressure.
Hey, Monica. Monica.Hmm?
You're doing great. You're doing great, okay?
Why don't you, um, you just tell me something about yourself.
Like, uh, where did you grow up?
[ Gauze pulling ]
New York.
Ugh! This should not be my life.
I am a city person.Yeah?
I fell in love with my husband, who's a businessman in --
in the city.
And then he sold his startup
and he wanted to move back home to Seattle.
I was tricked.
But it was too late.
I was already in love with him.
If he had told me in the beginning,
"You have to choose between me and the city,"
I would have picked New York.
Wow.
Oh, people love to rag on the subway,
but let me tell you --
even at its worst, it is not this bad.
The casual morning masturbator
grossly eyeing you across the train is nothing
compared to harpoon via Bambi.
[ Laughter ] You're funny.
♪ I've been losing my religion, oh, Lord ♪
♪ Now my life is like a fiction I wrote ♪
♪ Yeah, I'm the same guy ♪
Herrera?
You've got, like, 30 seconds.
♪ Yeah, I'm like a cowboy ♪
♪ Always on the run from the sheriff, he knows ♪
♪ He knows I don't fear no one ♪
♪ He knows I'm my father's son ♪
♪ Hmm, oh, I hear the bullets flyin' over my head ♪
♪ Before it's time to reload ♪
♪ I've been losing my religion, oh, Lord ♪
[ Indistinct shouting ]
♪ Now, my life is like a fiction ♪
Come on, Beckett. We gotta go.
♪♪♪
Come on, Beckett!
Beckett, we gotta go.
Sean! Sean.
It's time to go.
♪ I won't surrender ♪
♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh ♪
♪ I won't surrender ♪
♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh ♪
♪ I won't surrender ♪
♪ Ah, ah, ah, ah ♪
♪ I won't surrender ♪
♪ Ah, ah, ah, ah ♪
José! José! Oh, my God.
Hey! No, no, no, no.
Oh, how is he? Is he okay? Tell -- Tell me.
Is he gonna be -- Tell me he's okay.
We have to give them space to treat him, okay?
Please, tell me my husband is okay, Theo.
Okay, uh, Mrs. Ortega,
I haven't lied to you or Mr. Ortega before,
and I'm not going to start now.
The truth is, I don't know.
I'm so sorry, but if you can just let them
take care of Mr. Ortega,
I can get back to work, okay?
Okay? Alright.
Okay.
♪♪♪
[ Crying ]
Okay, this is the last little bit,
and then we're gonna have you out of this car.
Okay?[ Saw whirring ]
[ Screaming ]
No, no, no, no, no!
No, no, no! Are you alive?
Are you kidding me? Okay.
Is this thing still alive?
It's dead. It's fully dead.
I-I-I think I checked its pulse.
You think? I thought you were a doctor!
Well, yeah, but n-not of -- not of deer.
It's just a muscle spasm, okay?
It happens to people too. It's dead.
I promise you, it's dead.
Okay? Okay.
Wait, wait, wait, wait. Can we just wait?
Uh, what if -- what if it does it again
and then you slip and then the saw --
No, Monica. That's not gonna happen, okay?
You're catastrophizing.
I don't think you can tell the person who's
connected to a deer via its antlers
plunged in her stomach that she's catastrophizing!
Okay, well, that is -- that is fair enough.
Um, look, Monica, I know this is unbelievably scary,
but we really need to cut this to get you out of here, okay?
We are not gonna let anything happen to you.
Okay?
Okay. Alright.
Here we go.
[ Saw whirring ]
♪♪♪
Let's get this oxygen on you.
That's sweet, Ruiz, but I got it.
I'm trying to help you out, but suit yourself.
Warren: Okay, Mr. Ortega. We got you.
He's coming around.[ Coughing ]
Mr. Ortega? Mr. Ortega, can you hear me?
José!
Mr. Ortega, don't -- don't try to speak, okay?
You're in good hands. Just lay back.
Load him up.
Alright, Mrs. Ortega. They're gonna --
They're going to take him to Grey-Sloan.
I-I'll drive her.Okay.
Whatever's left, I'm sure will be here when I get back.
Vámanos. Vámanos.
Come on, Beckett.
Let's get you to Grey-Sloan so you can get checked out, too.
I am fine, Warren.
You're not fine.
You're going to the hospital.
[ Groans ]
♪♪♪
[ Indistinct shouting ]
♪♪♪
I can't do this.
Hey, you already did.
You're out. You're good.
You -- You're headed to the hospital,
and you're on to the rest of your life.
No, not this.
Living here, being here, this being my life.
I can't.
Look, I love my husband. Like, really love him.
And I-I know he loves me, which is why
I didn't even realize --
Well, after this, I'm pretty sure
he'll live wherever you want.
It's not just where we're living.
My gut tried to warn me, and I didn't listen.
I loved the city and my life there and who I was there.
I mean, more than who I am with my husband.
More than maybe him, I think.
I have to go home.
I ignored my gut, and now there is an antler in it.
Okay, I think maybe you should just talk to him first.
Like really, really talk to him
and tell him what you're feeling.
Tell him what you need.
I think we're past that.
This probably isn't a great time
to be making any giant decisions.
You've been through extreme stress.
No, it's the perfect time.
You guys saved my life.
I have to do something with the rest of it
so it feels like mine again.
Okay, let's load her up.
♪♪♪
Did today really happen?
Yeah.
We got through today because of your leadership.
We'll get through tomorrow as a team.
We did what we had to do,
and we're all alive because of it.
Well, what the hell was he thinking,
jumping into the fire like that?
Trying for redemption?
A desperate move to be brave?
No, no, no. That's not what that was.
Nah, I've seen this before,
that thousand-yard stare in his eyes.
Back in Iraq, we were all pinned down,
waiting forever for an air strike to save us.
PFC Gadson, he just --
He was sitting there,
just rocking, hands covering his ears.
I saw it in his eyes, too.
Same vacancy I saw in Beckett's.
Then, uh, Gadson, he just stood,
and he walked right into enemy fire.
♪♪♪
Yeah, Beckett jumping through that fire wasn't bravery.
[ Scoffs ] That was something else.
♪♪♪
Hey, Monica, everything's gonna feel better tomorrow.
Okay? Thank you.
Actually, you know what? In, like, an hour or right now.
You know, can you stay on top of her pain?
She's been through a lot today.
Paramedic: Of course. We've got her.
[ Siren wails ]
[ Laughs ]
That was incredible!
My God!
And we killed it!
Up here! Up here! Oh!
Oh. Well, okay, Doc.Ohhh!
Oh, I forgot the rush of having your hands in it!
I mean, you know, tending to your sweet little brains
is the privilege of a lifetime, but my God!
Hey, hey.Oh, oh, the adrenaline!
The thrill!
The rush of being ins--
Hey, Carina?
Oh, my God. Are you --
[ Sobbing ] Am I being an idiot?
Am I -- Am I -- Am I ignoring my gut
and going to end up with an antler in it, too?
I mean, metaphorically.
Am I the car?
Am I Monica?
Am I the deer? Am I the antler?
Am I -- Am I the antler in Maya's gut?
Or is this whole thing with her an antler in my gut?
Or is this just a gigantic warning sign that I'm ignoring
because I'm in love with her?
I mean, how do I not freaking know
who or what I am in this freaking metaphor?
I -- Carina. Carina.
Take a breath.
[ Inhales, exhales deeply ]
Am I just signing up for more pain?
Okay, you know what?
I don't think that's what's going on with you guys.
You're both working really hard at this.
I mean, she's seeing Diane --
She's only seeing her because the department made her.
Uh, the first session, sure.
But we've kept working together,
and she's not doing that for the job.
She's doing that for you.
For both of you.
Okay, you know what? Ask me -- Ask me the third question.
The one that Diane wouldn't answer when we were upstairs.
Okay, I'll do it for you.
Do I know that you and Maya are going to make it through this
and actually be better off for it?
Yes, yes.
Of course, yes, I do.
♪♪♪
[ Cellphone chimes ]
Oh, my God.
I now have to go deliver a baby.
Hey, now, see? Could an antler do that?
What?
I'm saying you're not an ant-- You're not an antler.
Okay.You know what?
I have had the same crazy, exhausting day as both of you
and not all of them can be winners, alright?
So I need some support.
Yes, we did it!
Yes! Thank you both.
Still not over it!
Still great at this! Woo!
Still got it!
[ Both laugh ]
[ Sighs ]
You wanna stay for dinner?
I think we're having venison.
Unh-unh. No. No, ma'am.
Mm-hmm.
♪♪♪
Viv: Woo-hoo-hoo!
Y'all are not gonna believe what happened to me today!
Dr. Diane...
What's -- What is going on?
It's been a day.
Hey. Are you --
Is the barbershop okay?
Is Tomás -- He's fine.
The place is a complete loss, but he's fine.
Okay, good. I know that must've been hard.
I wish you would have let me switch places with you.
No, I told you I didn't need that.
Well, I know, I was just -- You could've traded with me --
Vic, can we please not talk about it right now?
Hey. It's not you. It's not you.
We, uh -- On the call, we --
Beckett --
We strongly believed Beckett was drunk,
and it was a mess and everyone's still shaken up about it.
Hey!
I hope you're proud of yourselves, 19!
This is not how we do things.
The stupidity and the shortsighted--
The Beckett situation was being handled.
Respectfully, Chief, it wasn't.No, no, no.
Don't pretend a single one of you has any respect for me
or this department.
The hubris that pervades the day-to-day movements
of this station is astounding.
I don't know how it got this way, but it ends right now.
Your actions today violated
almost every protocol in the Seattle FD,
and it just might have cost you all your jobs.
♪♪♪
Does someone wanna explain to me
what exactly went down in the field today?
Chief, Beckett was presenting
like he was under the influence and --
And we had to do something about it.
Chief, listen to me.
I've been saying he doesn't have to be in there
and everyone's acting like I'm crazy --
Enough!
This is what I'm talking about!
♪♪♪
Permission to speak, Chief?
[ Scoffs ]
Beckett was drunk. Period.
I think we can all bet our careers on that.
We did bet our careers on that.
We knew what we were doing.
We understood the repercussions of our actions,
but we also knew that if it had gone any other way,
we all wouldn't be standing here right now.
We would be making funeral arrangements like 88.
We're firefighters, Chief.
It's what we do, and we do it because we love this job.
We just want to be safe so we can keep doing it.
I appreciate your calm statement, Herrera,
but your eloquence does not excuse your actions.
[ Cellphone rings ]
Okay.
Now I have to deal with it.
♪♪♪
Out of my sight.
All of you.
♪♪♪
It was literally our only option.
No, it wasn't.
There were plenty of things we could've done.
But, I mean, we made our choice and now we have to live with it.
[ Sighs ] Ross was right.
It was bad form.
It was way worse than bad form.
Well, I've got no good words.
Now we're really screwed, because you always have, like,
a joke to get us through it.
Okay. Knock, knock.
Nope. Please, no.
Not having any jokes is better than
improvised knock-knock jokes.
I'm just glad you weren't there.
At least one person won't be fired.
You will have to continue the legacy of 19.
Can she do it?
I believe in you, Vic Hughes.
It's not gonna happen, right? It's not gonna happen.
They can't fire all of you.
Besides, you were in the right, so...
[ Sighs ]
So what does your wife think about it all?
Oh, no, no, no.
We're definitely not at "casual gripe about your day"
normal yet, so we're definitely not at
"please help with this landslide in my head,
because this is all my fault."
You think this is all your fault?
I know it is.
Because you gave him the bottle?
You heard about that?
Yeah.
But you were about to tell me about it regardless, so...
I'm a monster.
There is a direct line between someone's death and my cruelty.
I mean, what kind of person does something like that?
The entire time, going to the liquor store,
handing him the bottle, the look on his face...
I felt like I'd won.
Okay, in your defense,
you had what could be called a nervous breakdown.
Alright, you literally were not in your right mind.
Cooper would be alive if it wasn't for me.
We don't know that.
We don't know what actually happened.
This mutiny would have never happened.
Oh. We could be fired...
Mm-hmm.
All because --
because I -- because I was --
...in a terrible place.
A terrible place that you have worked very hard
to get yourself out of.
[ Sighs ]
I have to talk to the Chief, okay?
I have to explain --
God, it feels like battery acid in my stomach, this guilt --
The guilt is how you know you're a decent human being.
A lot of people have done a lot worse
and never felt an ounce of regret.
♪♪♪
I did an awful thing.
You did. You did.
And you can apologize for it when you are ready.
But Beckett has a disease, okay?
He needs to get help.
And if it wasn't your bottle, he'd have found another one.
You have your part, he has his.
You did not make him drink on the job.
♪♪♪
[ Keys clicking ]
♪♪♪
[ Message swoops ]
♪♪♪
[ Cellphone rings ]
[ Laughs ]
[ Keys clicking ]
How was your day?
I have to go check on Captain Beckett at the hospital.
Look, what we did wasn't rash or reckless.
He was not in a position to run point on a scene.
And that didn't come out of nowhere, you know that.
You of all people should know better.
You think you have special privileges, Lieutenant?
I'm finished discussing this here,
and you've already been dismissed.
Alright, then. Sully, Sully.
♪♪♪
I'll see you later, okay?
Look, I don't think I'm going to be able to make it, okay?
This Beckett stuff has gotten into my head,
and I have to go a meeting.
♪♪♪
Okay? I...
I've been missing them because...
But, um...
I have to prioritize it.
♪♪♪
Hey. I thought you were --
I checked myself out, I checked myself in.
Captain Beckett?
I, uh, I need help, Chief.
♪♪♪
I spoke to my union rep.
I'm taking a leave of absence.
♪♪♪