1 00:00:06,005 --> 00:00:09,885 ‎Netflix 原创剧集 2 00:00:17,645 --> 00:00:19,845 ‎我的名字叫艾琳·奎因 3 00:00:20,205 --> 00:00:24,605 ‎我今年16岁 ‎来自一个叫做德里 4 00:00:25,125 --> 00:00:27,965 ‎或者伦敦德里的地方 ‎看你愿意怎么叫了 5 00:00:28,285 --> 00:00:31,365 ‎在爱尔兰西北角的 ‎一个有着诸多问题的小地方 6 00:00:32,285 --> 00:00:38,365 ‎说我与我家乡的关系有些复杂不为过 7 00:00:38,645 --> 00:00:41,485 ‎你要知道 生活在德里的问题是 8 00:00:41,565 --> 00:00:43,125 ‎你无处可藏 9 00:00:43,645 --> 00:00:48,885 ‎每个人都认识每个人 ‎每个人都知道每个人的一切 10 00:00:49,405 --> 00:00:54,285 ‎而有时候 我只是想... 11 00:00:56,005 --> 00:00:58,205 ‎一个人独处一下 12 00:01:00,165 --> 00:01:01,245 ‎你在读我的日记吗? 13 00:01:08,965 --> 00:01:10,805 ‎她这次做得太过了 妈咪 14 00:01:10,925 --> 00:01:12,125 ‎这样下去还得了? 15 00:01:12,205 --> 00:01:13,605 ‎下次她要偷穿我的内裤了 16 00:01:13,685 --> 00:01:15,925 ‎别当着你父亲面说“内裤” ‎他会受不了的 17 00:01:16,005 --> 00:01:17,125 ‎我才受不了呢! 18 00:01:17,205 --> 00:01:19,485 ‎表姐妹之间互相穿穿内裤 ‎有什么大不了的? 19 00:01:19,565 --> 00:01:21,005 ‎别再说“内裤”了 20 00:01:21,085 --> 00:01:22,725 ‎我忍无可忍了 21 00:01:23,045 --> 00:01:24,725 ‎现在青少年也有人权了 ‎你知道的吧? 22 00:01:24,805 --> 00:01:25,845 ‎别大惊小怪的了! 23 00:01:25,925 --> 00:01:27,285 ‎他们有人权的 妈 是真的 24 00:01:27,365 --> 00:01:29,925 ‎麦考利·卡尔金 ‎可能要让他父母离婚了 25 00:01:30,525 --> 00:01:31,365 ‎你听到了吧? 26 00:01:31,965 --> 00:01:34,205 ‎她就是去了那个 ‎你坚持要送她去的愚蠢夏令营 27 00:01:34,285 --> 00:01:35,765 ‎才会认识这样的人的 28 00:01:35,845 --> 00:01:38,205 ‎什么该死的“跨越障碍的友谊” 29 00:01:38,525 --> 00:01:41,165 ‎我对新教徒没什么意见 30 00:01:41,245 --> 00:01:43,085 ‎我很欢迎他们融入我们中 真的 31 00:01:43,285 --> 00:01:45,165 ‎但如果他们让自己的小孩 ‎来离他们的婚 32 00:01:45,245 --> 00:01:47,285 ‎麦考利·卡尔金可不是新教徒 妈! 33 00:01:47,365 --> 00:01:48,765 ‎这只会带坏我们的小孩 34 00:01:48,845 --> 00:01:50,045 ‎好吧 他有可能是 35 00:01:50,405 --> 00:01:52,325 ‎但我可不是在 ‎“跨越障碍的友谊”认识他的 36 00:01:52,405 --> 00:01:55,045 ‎我不管你在哪里认识得他 ‎你再也不准见他了 明白? 37 00:01:56,285 --> 00:01:57,765 ‎-行! ‎-你们来看看这个 38 00:01:57,845 --> 00:01:59,685 ‎桥上有颗炸弹 看来 39 00:02:00,245 --> 00:02:01,085 ‎不好 40 00:02:01,165 --> 00:02:02,885 ‎当一辆被劫持的可疑厢车出现时... 41 00:02:02,965 --> 00:02:04,365 ‎亲爱的上帝呀 千万不要 42 00:02:05,365 --> 00:02:07,365 ‎这样她们是不是去不了学校了? 43 00:02:08,085 --> 00:02:10,005 ‎我已经忍了一个暑假了 杰里 44 00:02:10,285 --> 00:02:11,725 ‎她让我头疼死了 45 00:02:11,805 --> 00:02:13,205 ‎别担心 她们的巴士会绕路走的 46 00:02:13,685 --> 00:02:14,525 ‎我去开门 47 00:02:15,685 --> 00:02:17,365 ‎预期会有严重的交通堵塞 48 00:02:17,445 --> 00:02:18,285 ‎好了 莎拉 49 00:02:18,365 --> 00:02:20,205 ‎小孩子们不应该坐巴士去学校 50 00:02:21,445 --> 00:02:22,885 ‎你应该开车送她们 51 00:02:22,965 --> 00:02:24,045 ‎你这个没用的垃圾 52 00:02:24,405 --> 00:02:25,485 ‎我有工作要做 乔 53 00:02:25,565 --> 00:02:28,085 ‎-工作?你管那叫工作? ‎-是的 54 00:02:28,165 --> 00:02:29,925 ‎你为什么就不能不去烦我的玛丽呢? 55 00:02:30,365 --> 00:02:33,685 ‎因为我们结婚17年的 乔 56 00:02:33,765 --> 00:02:35,165 ‎我们还生了俩孩子 57 00:02:35,485 --> 00:02:37,805 ‎而且因为我们互相爱着对方 58 00:02:37,885 --> 00:02:38,925 ‎哦 扯淡! 59 00:02:39,005 --> 00:02:41,005 ‎我会找出你的问题的 小鬼 60 00:02:41,405 --> 00:02:42,885 ‎我找人在调查呢 61 00:02:44,485 --> 00:02:46,645 ‎天啊 妈咪 你起得真早 62 00:02:46,725 --> 00:02:49,005 ‎你也是啊 ‎你应该再睡一会儿的 亲爱的 63 00:02:49,085 --> 00:02:51,565 ‎-你在放假呢 ‎-新学期第一天 莎拉 64 00:02:51,645 --> 00:02:54,005 ‎-是吗 这么快? ‎-没错 就这么快 65 00:02:56,485 --> 00:03:02,165 ‎我不知道你们是怎么想 ‎但我可不喜欢这个炸弹 66 00:03:02,245 --> 00:03:03,645 ‎-震惊 ‎-令人绝望 67 00:03:03,725 --> 00:03:05,565 ‎令人作呕 可耻之极 68 00:03:06,245 --> 00:03:08,605 ‎我12点在热带花园酒店有个预约 69 00:03:08,685 --> 00:03:10,165 ‎15分钟的站立式 70 00:03:10,245 --> 00:03:12,245 ‎照这个情况下去 ‎我是肯定过不了桥了 71 00:03:12,445 --> 00:03:14,285 ‎这会毁了我整套的美黑的 72 00:03:14,365 --> 00:03:19,445 ‎这就是他们的目的 ‎他们想要普通人受折磨 73 00:03:19,525 --> 00:03:20,765 ‎这就是他们想要的结果 74 00:03:21,005 --> 00:03:23,845 ‎我很确定干涉你的日光浴 75 00:03:23,925 --> 00:03:27,165 ‎在任何人的政治议程上 ‎优先级都不是很高 莎拉阿姨 76 00:03:27,245 --> 00:03:28,445 ‎我可不这么肯定 77 00:03:29,685 --> 00:03:31,325 ‎(约翰·休姆 社工党议员) 78 00:03:31,405 --> 00:03:32,365 ‎我们得出发了 79 00:03:33,165 --> 00:03:34,005 ‎嘿! 80 00:03:34,565 --> 00:03:36,925 ‎你这是想搞什么花样? ‎你的上装呢? 81 00:03:39,045 --> 00:03:42,085 ‎今年我决定要在制服上 ‎弄点个人的特色 82 00:03:42,365 --> 00:03:44,925 ‎特什么色 小心我给你点颜色瞧瞧 ‎把你的上装穿好 83 00:03:45,005 --> 00:03:47,365 ‎听着 妈咪 我不是一个克隆 84 00:03:47,605 --> 00:03:51,005 ‎我有表达自我的权利 85 00:03:51,085 --> 00:03:54,085 ‎对不起 我是不会穿上装的 ‎决不让步 86 00:03:55,405 --> 00:03:56,245 ‎杰里 87 00:03:57,085 --> 00:03:59,245 ‎把木勺递给我 88 00:04:07,725 --> 00:04:08,765 ‎这身算什么? 89 00:04:08,845 --> 00:04:11,005 ‎我们不是说好今年要做自我的吗? 90 00:04:11,085 --> 00:04:13,125 ‎听着 我倒是想 克莱尔 ‎但我妈不肯 91 00:04:13,205 --> 00:04:16,205 ‎行 我可不要一个人做自我 92 00:04:24,805 --> 00:04:26,005 ‎你什么都不吃吗? 93 00:04:26,085 --> 00:04:28,685 ‎没事 我这是在为埃塞俄比亚而禁食 94 00:04:28,765 --> 00:04:30,485 ‎哦 老天啊 ‎你怎么总跟非洲扯在一起 95 00:04:30,565 --> 00:04:31,645 ‎你愿意资助我吗? 96 00:04:31,725 --> 00:04:33,325 ‎-多少钱? ‎-两镑 97 00:04:33,405 --> 00:04:35,005 ‎两镑?你别开玩笑了! 98 00:04:35,085 --> 00:04:37,165 ‎那边情况非常糟糕 艾琳 99 00:04:37,325 --> 00:04:40,725 ‎康威神父给我们放了一个视频 ‎里面有一个叫卡玛尔的小朋友 100 00:04:40,805 --> 00:04:44,485 ‎他只有十岁 每天早上 ‎他要走25英里去最近的井 101 00:04:44,565 --> 00:04:46,565 ‎有可能他只是非常喜欢井呢 嗯? 102 00:04:46,645 --> 00:04:49,245 ‎-25英里?那是多远? ‎-很远 103 00:04:49,565 --> 00:04:50,925 ‎到底有多远? 104 00:04:51,005 --> 00:04:53,085 ‎-从这里到班克拉纳那么远? ‎-更远 105 00:04:53,165 --> 00:04:54,885 ‎从这里到巴利博菲还差不多 106 00:04:55,005 --> 00:04:57,645 ‎不可能!从这里到巴利博菲 ‎你肯定累趴了 107 00:04:57,725 --> 00:04:58,885 ‎卡玛尔的确累趴了 108 00:04:59,125 --> 00:05:00,845 ‎你确定卡玛尔没有夸张吗? 109 00:05:00,925 --> 00:05:03,165 ‎别再对卡玛尔出言不逊了! ‎卡玛尔生活不容易! 110 00:05:03,245 --> 00:05:04,445 ‎你到底愿不愿资助我? 111 00:05:06,085 --> 00:05:07,125 ‎行! 112 00:05:09,205 --> 00:05:11,205 ‎你碰了就得买 113 00:05:11,285 --> 00:05:12,205 ‎这是法律 114 00:05:12,365 --> 00:05:13,565 ‎我不认为法律是这样的 115 00:05:13,645 --> 00:05:15,565 ‎如果我说这是法律 ‎这就是法律 机灵鬼! 116 00:05:15,805 --> 00:05:18,045 ‎好吧 只是我现在买不起了 117 00:05:18,125 --> 00:05:20,085 ‎我得把我所有的钱都给卡玛尔! 118 00:05:20,405 --> 00:05:21,525 ‎谁他妈是卡玛尔? 119 00:05:21,605 --> 00:05:24,725 ‎他是个来自巴利博菲的 ‎埃塞俄比亚小朋友 丹尼斯 120 00:05:24,805 --> 00:05:26,605 ‎你想要资助我吗 丹尼斯? 121 00:05:29,445 --> 00:05:30,485 ‎滚出去! 122 00:05:35,445 --> 00:05:36,725 ‎干得好 盖尔多夫! 123 00:05:38,845 --> 00:05:40,685 ‎我的天 是大卫 124 00:05:40,765 --> 00:05:41,685 ‎大卫·唐纳利 125 00:05:42,205 --> 00:05:44,765 ‎好了 表现得正常点 126 00:05:50,445 --> 00:05:51,925 ‎不可能!你是认真的吗? 127 00:05:52,285 --> 00:05:53,925 ‎你在干什么?你在和谁说话? 128 00:05:54,005 --> 00:05:55,045 ‎嘿 你有打火机吗? 129 00:05:55,365 --> 00:05:57,045 ‎我?没有 我不抽烟 130 00:05:57,405 --> 00:05:59,045 ‎我为什么他妹的不抽烟呢? 131 00:05:59,125 --> 00:06:00,125 ‎我有个 132 00:06:00,205 --> 00:06:01,965 ‎我也不抽烟 133 00:06:02,045 --> 00:06:03,925 ‎我只是喜欢烧化东西来玩 134 00:06:05,125 --> 00:06:06,965 ‎-海报很酷 ‎-哦 你这么认为吗? 135 00:06:07,045 --> 00:06:09,965 ‎是啊 那个运用得很好 你知道的... 136 00:06:10,045 --> 00:06:10,885 ‎字母 137 00:06:11,845 --> 00:06:13,645 ‎谢谢 你今晚也一起来吧? 138 00:06:14,005 --> 00:06:15,205 ‎你邀请我去看你的演出? 139 00:06:15,765 --> 00:06:16,885 ‎嗯 对啊 你们所有人 140 00:06:17,165 --> 00:06:20,285 ‎但你特指要我去对吗? 141 00:06:20,365 --> 00:06:21,485 ‎我只是想要弄清楚这点 142 00:06:21,565 --> 00:06:25,005 ‎但艾琳 今晚有《女作家与谋杀案》 ‎你从来不错过的 143 00:06:25,085 --> 00:06:26,045 ‎闭嘴! 144 00:06:26,525 --> 00:06:27,365 ‎我们要迟到了 145 00:06:27,445 --> 00:06:28,685 ‎六点开始 146 00:06:28,765 --> 00:06:30,725 ‎赞 酷 147 00:06:30,805 --> 00:06:32,765 ‎也许我会去见你的 148 00:06:35,525 --> 00:06:37,605 ‎你不是真要去他的演唱会 对吧? 149 00:06:37,685 --> 00:06:39,085 ‎“演出” 克莱尔 那叫做演出 150 00:06:39,165 --> 00:06:41,045 ‎我必须得去 他指名道姓邀请我了 151 00:06:41,125 --> 00:06:43,325 ‎混蛋们! 152 00:06:44,245 --> 00:06:45,965 ‎“混蛋” 是我的新口头禅了 153 00:06:46,045 --> 00:06:48,805 ‎昨晚看了这么部电影 ‎我爸从派罗·保琳那里弄来的 154 00:06:48,885 --> 00:06:51,085 ‎关于两个小子 穿着这种酷炫的西装 155 00:06:51,165 --> 00:06:53,285 ‎他们就这样走来走去朝人开枪 ‎吃着芝士汉堡 156 00:06:53,365 --> 00:06:55,365 ‎他们都这样 ‎“混蛋这个 混蛋那个”的 157 00:06:55,445 --> 00:06:56,445 ‎里面有你喜欢的男演员 158 00:06:56,525 --> 00:06:58,485 ‎叫啥来着? ‎《飞越童真》里跳迪士科的那个 159 00:06:58,565 --> 00:07:00,085 ‎后面那哥们是谁的? 160 00:07:00,605 --> 00:07:01,445 ‎我 161 00:07:03,605 --> 00:07:06,525 ‎还不快过来 蛋疼仔 ‎你到底要不要介绍自己了? 162 00:07:06,845 --> 00:07:08,805 ‎嗨 我是米歇尔的表亲 詹姆斯 163 00:07:08,885 --> 00:07:11,005 ‎他为什么声音这么奇怪? 164 00:07:11,085 --> 00:07:13,205 ‎他是英格兰人 欧拉 ‎他们就这么说话的 165 00:07:13,285 --> 00:07:16,245 ‎他是我凯茜阿姨的小孩 ‎我跟你说过我的凯茜阿姨的 166 00:07:16,325 --> 00:07:19,045 ‎她多年前去英格兰堕胎 ‎再也没有回来 167 00:07:19,165 --> 00:07:22,045 ‎也没有堕成 ‎算你运气好 詹姆斯 是吧? 168 00:07:23,685 --> 00:07:25,205 ‎我本来不知道的 169 00:07:25,285 --> 00:07:26,245 ‎他说什么? 170 00:07:26,325 --> 00:07:27,485 ‎没什么 171 00:07:27,565 --> 00:07:28,805 ‎他在这干什么? 172 00:07:29,045 --> 00:07:31,165 ‎凯茜刚离了婚 所以她搬回来了 173 00:07:31,245 --> 00:07:32,765 ‎老公抓到她出轨了 174 00:07:32,845 --> 00:07:34,245 ‎属于有点浪的那种 ‎我们的凯茜 175 00:07:34,325 --> 00:07:35,685 ‎总是在背着他偷人 ‎她就是这样 176 00:07:35,765 --> 00:07:38,325 ‎-说得对吧 詹姆斯? ‎-不 我是说来我们的巴士站这 177 00:07:38,405 --> 00:07:39,845 ‎哦 他要去上我们的学校 178 00:07:39,925 --> 00:07:40,885 ‎但他是个男的 179 00:07:40,965 --> 00:07:43,805 ‎一个女性化的男人 ‎但男人就是男人 180 00:07:43,885 --> 00:07:46,405 ‎大家都很害怕送他去男孩的学校 181 00:07:46,485 --> 00:07:48,485 ‎他们担心其他的朋友会揍他因为... 182 00:07:48,565 --> 00:07:49,725 ‎他是英格兰人 183 00:07:49,805 --> 00:07:51,045 ‎你也怪不了他们 其实 184 00:07:52,325 --> 00:07:54,245 ‎我们的座驾在等着了 混蛋们 185 00:07:56,925 --> 00:07:59,405 ‎(圣母学院) 186 00:08:00,365 --> 00:08:01,405 ‎雅芳? 187 00:08:02,405 --> 00:08:03,365 ‎雅芳 188 00:08:04,285 --> 00:08:05,245 ‎雅芳? 189 00:08:05,325 --> 00:08:07,765 ‎我们的除毛霜在打折 190 00:08:07,845 --> 00:08:09,285 ‎如果你想要 除除这里... 191 00:08:10,205 --> 00:08:11,605 ‎这边没有座位了 192 00:08:11,765 --> 00:08:13,445 ‎-让他们几个小混蛋滚 ‎-什么? 193 00:08:13,525 --> 00:08:17,005 ‎为什么要我们坐前面? ‎我们五年级了 他们是一群婴儿 194 00:08:17,085 --> 00:08:18,085 ‎来吧 195 00:08:20,445 --> 00:08:22,525 ‎好了 动动你们的屁股 快点让开 196 00:08:23,205 --> 00:08:24,045 ‎都别动 197 00:08:24,805 --> 00:08:27,205 ‎-你最好按我说的做 不然... ‎-不然怎样? 198 00:08:27,485 --> 00:08:28,925 ‎不然后果自负 199 00:08:29,005 --> 00:08:29,845 ‎比如? 200 00:08:30,805 --> 00:08:33,205 ‎-我们会揍你们 ‎-太棒了 201 00:08:33,285 --> 00:08:35,165 ‎-真的吗 米歇尔? ‎-那就来吧 202 00:08:35,805 --> 00:08:37,365 ‎-什么? ‎-揍我呀 203 00:08:38,485 --> 00:08:39,845 ‎现在不是时候 204 00:08:42,325 --> 00:08:44,325 ‎放学后 我们放学后会来揍你 205 00:08:44,605 --> 00:08:47,005 ‎很好 我放学后来找你 ‎到时候你可以揍我 206 00:08:47,365 --> 00:08:48,605 ‎现在到底是怎样? 207 00:08:48,685 --> 00:08:50,525 ‎我会带我的姐姐来 曼蒂 208 00:08:50,605 --> 00:08:51,725 ‎你可能认识她 209 00:08:51,805 --> 00:08:53,125 ‎曼蒂·奥康奈尔 210 00:08:53,205 --> 00:08:54,405 ‎她六年级上 211 00:08:54,485 --> 00:08:55,325 ‎大曼蒂? 212 00:08:55,965 --> 00:08:57,325 ‎大曼蒂是你的姐姐? 213 00:08:57,445 --> 00:08:59,045 ‎-没错 ‎-撤退! 214 00:08:59,845 --> 00:09:02,085 ‎听着 我认为 215 00:09:02,165 --> 00:09:03,885 ‎我们有一点小误会 216 00:09:04,005 --> 00:09:05,805 ‎就知道你会这么说 217 00:09:05,885 --> 00:09:07,045 ‎现在给我滚吧! 218 00:09:07,645 --> 00:09:08,605 ‎好 遵命 219 00:09:09,405 --> 00:09:11,405 ‎真够丢人的 220 00:09:20,005 --> 00:09:21,725 ‎这次禁食要持续多久? 221 00:09:22,485 --> 00:09:23,845 ‎二十四小时 222 00:09:24,165 --> 00:09:25,725 ‎所以我们还要... 223 00:09:27,085 --> 00:09:28,485 ‎坚持大概23小时 224 00:09:28,885 --> 00:09:30,485 ‎我的妈 怎么又是非洲人 225 00:09:30,565 --> 00:09:32,725 ‎想象一样出生在那里 ‎而不是这里 226 00:09:32,805 --> 00:09:34,445 ‎我们不知道我们有多幸运 227 00:09:34,525 --> 00:09:35,845 ‎好吧 说得有理 ‎德里是挺棒的 228 00:09:36,125 --> 00:09:37,805 ‎-一直棒 是的 ‎-是的 229 00:09:39,765 --> 00:09:43,685 ‎(停车 检查点) 230 00:09:51,205 --> 00:09:52,645 ‎所有人都坐好 231 00:09:59,725 --> 00:10:00,645 ‎怎么回事? 232 00:10:00,965 --> 00:10:01,845 ‎我不知道 233 00:10:02,365 --> 00:10:05,885 ‎你觉得如果我告诉他我的内裤里 ‎藏着一个易燃装置 他会来检查吗? 234 00:10:06,285 --> 00:10:07,805 ‎米歇尔 他是个士兵 235 00:10:08,645 --> 00:10:10,205 ‎他们中有些人是这样 236 00:10:10,285 --> 00:10:12,405 ‎我愿意承认 就算别人都不敢 237 00:10:12,565 --> 00:10:14,085 ‎因为我是真相的灯塔 艾琳 238 00:10:14,165 --> 00:10:16,125 ‎我看你就是只飞蛾 239 00:10:24,525 --> 00:10:27,925 ‎嗨 各位 可以跟你们稍稍聊一聊吗? 240 00:10:29,125 --> 00:10:30,365 ‎你肯定是新来的 241 00:10:30,925 --> 00:10:31,845 ‎我叫珍妮 242 00:10:32,485 --> 00:10:33,405 ‎头发很棒 243 00:10:33,485 --> 00:10:35,325 ‎非常...大胆 244 00:10:35,405 --> 00:10:38,565 ‎我也想要剪这么短 ‎但我的脸型没有这么好 245 00:10:38,645 --> 00:10:40,045 ‎他是个男的 珍妮 246 00:10:40,605 --> 00:10:42,365 ‎哦这样啊 247 00:10:43,125 --> 00:10:43,965 ‎总之哩 248 00:10:44,045 --> 00:10:46,485 ‎“总之哩 ”认真的? 一枪打死我吧 249 00:10:46,565 --> 00:10:47,805 ‎这说起来有点尴尬 250 00:10:47,885 --> 00:10:51,885 ‎但我作为学生会长的一部分工作是 ‎欢迎一年级的学生 251 00:10:52,565 --> 00:10:54,045 ‎而据我所知 252 00:10:54,125 --> 00:10:57,405 ‎今早巴士上发生了点小事件 253 00:10:57,485 --> 00:10:58,325 ‎没有什么事件 254 00:10:58,405 --> 00:11:01,045 ‎看起来 ‎你们几个威胁了一个新来的女孩 255 00:11:01,125 --> 00:11:02,445 ‎说你们要揍他 256 00:11:02,525 --> 00:11:03,485 ‎那是谎话! 257 00:11:03,565 --> 00:11:04,885 ‎有好几个目击者 258 00:11:05,245 --> 00:11:06,405 ‎不 我的意思是我们说了 259 00:11:06,805 --> 00:11:09,005 ‎但我们是开玩笑的 260 00:11:09,205 --> 00:11:10,885 ‎就像这样的 “我们要揍你” 261 00:11:10,965 --> 00:11:13,005 ‎-但是以一种开玩笑的语气 ‎-好的 262 00:11:13,165 --> 00:11:14,245 ‎但问题是 263 00:11:14,325 --> 00:11:16,045 ‎这样其实不好笑 对吧? 264 00:11:16,365 --> 00:11:17,645 ‎一点也不 265 00:11:17,725 --> 00:11:19,325 ‎幽默其实是主观的 所以... 266 00:11:19,405 --> 00:11:21,885 ‎虽然那个小女孩说她不在意 267 00:11:21,965 --> 00:11:23,765 ‎但仔细解读... 268 00:11:23,845 --> 00:11:25,605 ‎你干嘛要解读得这么仔细? 269 00:11:25,685 --> 00:11:27,885 ‎我不是很能相信她 270 00:11:28,005 --> 00:11:30,045 ‎我不想要举报你们几个 271 00:11:30,125 --> 00:11:32,325 ‎拜托不要举报 珍妮 ‎求你了!我们什么都愿意做! 272 00:11:32,405 --> 00:11:33,405 ‎什么都愿意! 273 00:11:33,485 --> 00:11:35,165 ‎只算上你自己 大奶子 274 00:11:35,245 --> 00:11:37,325 ‎我想我需要好好考虑一下 275 00:11:37,565 --> 00:11:39,685 ‎啊 珍妮 考虑这个吧 276 00:11:40,525 --> 00:11:41,445 ‎哦 我们走着瞧 277 00:11:44,085 --> 00:11:45,725 ‎老天啊 米歇尔! 278 00:11:49,885 --> 00:11:54,405 ‎新学校看上去可能很可怕 279 00:11:54,485 --> 00:11:56,885 ‎我觉得大曼蒂比平常看上去更疯狂 280 00:11:57,445 --> 00:11:59,685 ‎但试着这么想一想... 281 00:11:59,765 --> 00:12:02,365 ‎现在 你就和一颗小小的种子一样 282 00:12:02,725 --> 00:12:05,205 ‎而学校就像是土壤 283 00:12:05,445 --> 00:12:11,205 ‎一个安全而稳定的环境 ‎在这里你们可以成长 284 00:12:11,765 --> 00:12:14,325 ‎哇 真是一个好棒的想法 285 00:12:16,005 --> 00:12:16,845 ‎谢谢 286 00:12:19,205 --> 00:12:20,405 ‎谢谢大家 287 00:12:21,765 --> 00:12:24,445 ‎一些宜人的观点 288 00:12:25,005 --> 00:12:27,085 ‎一些非常美丽的话语 289 00:12:28,525 --> 00:12:30,845 ‎不幸的是 他们也就只能是 290 00:12:30,925 --> 00:12:32,645 ‎观点和话语罢了 291 00:12:33,405 --> 00:12:35,885 ‎你们刚才见证的 ‎完完全全是虚构的 292 00:12:37,685 --> 00:12:40,845 ‎真正的现实 我很抱歉 ‎要更加严苛 更加残忍得多 293 00:12:41,845 --> 00:12:43,645 ‎所以让我借此机会 294 00:12:43,805 --> 00:12:46,285 ‎来建议所有新来的女孩们 295 00:12:46,525 --> 00:12:47,685 ‎要保持警惕 296 00:12:49,245 --> 00:12:50,685 ‎小心背后 297 00:12:51,605 --> 00:12:53,925 ‎哦 说起要小心背后的学生 298 00:12:54,005 --> 00:12:55,685 ‎我要介绍詹姆斯·马圭尔 299 00:12:56,045 --> 00:12:57,925 ‎请站出来 詹姆斯 300 00:12:59,885 --> 00:13:04,645 ‎詹姆斯将会成为有史以来 ‎第一个在圣母学院学习的男孩 301 00:13:04,965 --> 00:13:06,805 ‎他本来要去基督兄弟男校上课 302 00:13:06,885 --> 00:13:08,445 ‎但有人很担心他的安全 303 00:13:08,525 --> 00:13:10,845 ‎因为 不幸的是 ‎詹姆斯是英格兰人 304 00:13:12,005 --> 00:13:13,365 ‎但让我说清楚一点 305 00:13:13,445 --> 00:13:16,005 ‎我不允许马兰先生的事再发生 306 00:13:16,085 --> 00:13:17,485 ‎明白了吗? 307 00:13:17,565 --> 00:13:18,845 ‎马兰先生发生了什么事? 308 00:13:19,325 --> 00:13:20,605 ‎学生与老师 309 00:13:20,725 --> 00:13:22,645 ‎两个四年级的把他绑到了猴架上 310 00:13:22,725 --> 00:13:23,885 ‎开始隔着裤子骑他 311 00:13:24,605 --> 00:13:26,805 ‎他长得很帅 所以你没什么好担心的 312 00:13:27,645 --> 00:13:30,765 ‎让我们来祈祷 哦 圣父 圣子 圣... 313 00:13:31,205 --> 00:13:32,725 ‎求你了 米歇尔 314 00:13:32,805 --> 00:13:33,885 ‎不 315 00:13:34,005 --> 00:13:36,565 ‎我对大卫·唐纳利的蠢乐队 ‎完全没兴趣 316 00:13:37,525 --> 00:13:38,685 ‎他们看上去很不错 317 00:13:38,765 --> 00:13:39,805 ‎我不能自己一个人去 318 00:13:40,245 --> 00:13:41,085 ‎他们好吗? 319 00:13:41,165 --> 00:13:42,285 ‎带鲍比·桑兹去 320 00:13:42,365 --> 00:13:43,645 ‎好是好 但我怎么去的了? 321 00:13:43,725 --> 00:13:46,725 ‎-我没力气到连路都走不了了 ‎-那欧拉呢? 322 00:13:46,805 --> 00:13:49,485 ‎-欧拉... ‎-我爱我的小小手指 323 00:13:49,685 --> 00:13:50,845 ‎欧拉脑子不好使 324 00:13:50,925 --> 00:13:53,245 ‎拜托了 米歇尔 我求你了 325 00:13:53,325 --> 00:13:55,285 ‎这是我与大卫好的最佳机会 326 00:13:55,365 --> 00:13:56,485 ‎我会愿意为你一样的事 327 00:13:56,685 --> 00:14:00,165 ‎好吧!但我们俩心里都明白 ‎你只会坐在角落里像个性冷淡一样 328 00:14:00,805 --> 00:14:02,005 ‎我可不是性冷淡 329 00:14:02,085 --> 00:14:04,005 ‎你都没有跟男孩亲过嘴 330 00:14:04,085 --> 00:14:07,845 ‎你有时候在枕头上练习 ‎但你也不认为那是一样的 331 00:14:07,925 --> 00:14:09,805 ‎光读了我的日记就已经够糟的了 332 00:14:09,885 --> 00:14:12,165 ‎你还要这样直接背出来吗? 333 00:14:12,245 --> 00:14:14,445 ‎米歇尔 ‎你介意帮我指一下厕所在哪吗? 334 00:14:14,845 --> 00:14:16,765 ‎你已经开始惹毛我了 你知道吗? 335 00:14:17,085 --> 00:14:21,285 ‎请如下的学生立刻到 ‎迈克尔修女的办公室报道 336 00:14:21,365 --> 00:14:25,405 ‎艾琳·奎因 欧拉·麦库尔 ‎克莱尔·戴芙琳 米歇尔·马伦 337 00:14:25,485 --> 00:14:27,805 ‎还有那个英格兰来的小家伙 谢谢 338 00:14:27,965 --> 00:14:29,165 ‎我很想知道是为什么事? 339 00:14:29,245 --> 00:14:31,805 ‎这不是霸凌 这只是霸凌未遂 340 00:14:31,885 --> 00:14:33,445 ‎要是我们被开除了怎么办? 341 00:14:33,685 --> 00:14:35,725 ‎还从来没人真被开除过 342 00:14:35,805 --> 00:14:38,245 ‎旺达·加拉格都没有被开除 ‎她加入了爱尔兰共和军 343 00:14:38,485 --> 00:14:39,605 ‎你没想过原因吗? 344 00:14:39,965 --> 00:14:42,005 ‎我哪里都找不到男厕所 345 00:14:42,085 --> 00:14:44,925 ‎这是一间女校 傻逼 ‎哪里来的男厕所 346 00:14:45,605 --> 00:14:47,445 ‎那我是不是应该用女厕所? 347 00:14:47,525 --> 00:14:49,125 ‎不 你不应该 你他妈变态! 348 00:14:49,205 --> 00:14:51,405 ‎姐妹们 我感觉真的很不好! 349 00:14:51,485 --> 00:14:54,325 ‎我感觉有点晕晕的 ‎我的血糖可能低到要出危险了 350 00:14:54,405 --> 00:14:56,245 ‎认真的 你就吃个玛氏棒吧? 351 00:14:56,325 --> 00:14:57,325 ‎那卡玛尔怎么办? 352 00:14:57,405 --> 00:14:58,605 ‎去他妈的卡玛尔 353 00:14:59,165 --> 00:15:02,245 ‎听着 无论等下里面发生什么 ‎我们都要团结 354 00:15:02,325 --> 00:15:03,725 ‎明白?我们要互相支持! 355 00:15:04,005 --> 00:15:04,885 ‎女士们 356 00:15:07,405 --> 00:15:11,685 ‎这和我一点关系都没 ‎是的 好吧 我确实在场 这我承认 357 00:15:11,765 --> 00:15:13,245 ‎但我什么也没做 358 00:15:13,325 --> 00:15:15,365 ‎是米歇尔 都是米歇尔! 359 00:15:15,445 --> 00:15:17,125 ‎我不要因为一件我没做的事情受罚! 360 00:15:17,205 --> 00:15:20,125 ‎如果一定要有人受罚的话 ‎就应该是米歇尔! 361 00:15:25,205 --> 00:15:26,645 ‎好吧 我认为公平地说 362 00:15:26,725 --> 00:15:28,965 ‎我们都对你失去了点尊敬 克莱尔 363 00:15:30,365 --> 00:15:33,085 ‎这太让人失望了 女孩们 ‎威胁一个一年级生 364 00:15:33,165 --> 00:15:35,045 ‎我们没有威胁她 我们可不蠢 365 00:15:35,125 --> 00:15:37,205 ‎大曼蒂是她姐姐 ‎她他妈就和半只猩猩一样 366 00:15:37,285 --> 00:15:38,245 ‎马伦小姐 差不多了 367 00:15:38,525 --> 00:15:40,085 ‎对 你不应该说粗话 米歇尔 368 00:15:40,165 --> 00:15:45,205 ‎因为当你说粗话时 我们在天上的 ‎圣母就会流下眼泪变成雨 369 00:15:45,285 --> 00:15:46,845 ‎是这样吗 迈克尔修女? 370 00:15:47,965 --> 00:15:50,125 ‎-欧拉 你现在几岁? ‎-十五 371 00:15:50,885 --> 00:15:53,205 ‎嗯 你应该想想怎样能聪明点 372 00:15:54,005 --> 00:15:56,285 ‎这一切都是误会 373 00:15:56,365 --> 00:15:57,525 ‎我发誓 修女 374 00:15:58,245 --> 00:16:00,285 ‎是这样吗 缇娜?全是误会吗? 375 00:16:00,445 --> 00:16:02,285 ‎听着 我都没举报她们 376 00:16:02,365 --> 00:16:04,365 ‎我不是二五仔 我什么都不会说的 377 00:16:04,645 --> 00:16:06,365 ‎是不是因为你被她们恐吓了 378 00:16:08,125 --> 00:16:09,445 ‎哦 你是认真的? 379 00:16:09,925 --> 00:16:12,325 ‎不 我没被她们恐吓到 修女 380 00:16:12,845 --> 00:16:13,685 ‎好吧 381 00:16:15,045 --> 00:16:17,685 ‎这样的话 ‎我看就没有必要进一步追究了 382 00:16:17,765 --> 00:16:20,965 ‎但如果再让我听到这样的事发生... 383 00:16:21,045 --> 00:16:22,565 ‎哦 你不会的 修女 384 00:16:23,165 --> 00:16:25,485 ‎-是吗? ‎-迈克尔修女 我可以问个问题吗? 385 00:16:25,965 --> 00:16:30,125 ‎因为这里没有男厕所 386 00:16:30,685 --> 00:16:32,405 ‎我能不能用教师用的? 387 00:16:32,485 --> 00:16:33,445 ‎绝对不行 388 00:16:33,525 --> 00:16:35,845 ‎我认为你们 ‎都欠缇娜一个抱歉 对吗? 389 00:16:36,445 --> 00:16:38,605 ‎-我们非常抱歉 缇娜 ‎-非常抱歉 缇娜 390 00:16:38,685 --> 00:16:40,125 ‎-对不起 缇娜 ‎-对不起 391 00:16:40,405 --> 00:16:42,925 ‎-那么 缇娜 你接受她们的道歉吗 ‎-不 392 00:16:43,965 --> 00:16:45,845 ‎你不接受她们的道歉? 393 00:16:45,925 --> 00:16:48,525 ‎我必须要接受她们的道歉吗 修女? 394 00:16:49,165 --> 00:16:50,885 ‎不是必须要 395 00:16:51,045 --> 00:16:51,885 ‎那我还是不了 396 00:16:52,965 --> 00:16:54,485 ‎我不接受 397 00:16:56,405 --> 00:16:57,245 ‎我明白了 398 00:16:57,805 --> 00:17:00,845 ‎我总得做点什么 所以... 399 00:17:01,885 --> 00:17:03,485 ‎(留堂) 400 00:17:14,085 --> 00:17:18,325 ‎简直不敢相信 401 00:17:18,485 --> 00:17:20,565 ‎我要错过 ‎大卫·唐纳利的演出了 米歇尔 402 00:17:20,765 --> 00:17:22,365 ‎全都因为那个迷你的混蛋 403 00:17:22,445 --> 00:17:25,325 ‎我发誓 如果你再说一句“混蛋” 404 00:17:25,525 --> 00:17:26,405 ‎你有什么毛病? 405 00:17:26,765 --> 00:17:27,805 ‎这是你的错! 406 00:17:27,885 --> 00:17:28,845 ‎为什么是我的错? 407 00:17:28,925 --> 00:17:30,765 ‎就是你威胁了一年级生 408 00:17:30,845 --> 00:17:33,125 ‎就是你对珍妮·乔伊斯竖了中指! 409 00:17:33,205 --> 00:17:35,725 ‎我要憋不住了 这太痛苦了 410 00:17:36,645 --> 00:17:39,845 ‎你能不能别他妈每五分钟 ‎就到我面前来哭啊 詹姆斯? 411 00:17:40,485 --> 00:17:41,325 ‎我感觉很不好 412 00:17:42,245 --> 00:17:44,245 ‎我想我的身体要进入饥饿模式了 413 00:17:44,325 --> 00:17:45,925 ‎我感觉它要开始停止运转了 414 00:17:46,005 --> 00:17:48,445 ‎看在基督的面子上 克莱尔 ‎你只不过是没吃午餐! 415 00:17:51,525 --> 00:17:54,765 ‎欧拉 别告诉我真如我想的那样 416 00:17:55,045 --> 00:17:57,405 ‎你该不会真的带了我的日记来学校! 417 00:17:57,485 --> 00:17:58,605 ‎我必须得这样 418 00:17:58,685 --> 00:18:00,525 ‎我的读书汇报做的就是这个 419 00:18:01,405 --> 00:18:02,885 ‎-给我! ‎-不! 420 00:18:03,285 --> 00:18:04,725 ‎女孩们 在搞什么? 421 00:18:04,805 --> 00:18:07,165 ‎她拿走了我的日记 修女 ‎她还不肯还我 422 00:18:07,245 --> 00:18:08,445 ‎给我 423 00:18:12,165 --> 00:18:13,445 ‎坐下 424 00:18:14,245 --> 00:18:17,365 ‎马圭尔先生 你被警告了 425 00:18:17,445 --> 00:18:19,365 ‎别再来问我! 426 00:18:19,445 --> 00:18:21,045 ‎这太不像话了! 427 00:18:21,125 --> 00:18:23,005 ‎我应该有用厕所的权利 428 00:18:23,085 --> 00:18:25,485 ‎-我的人权呢? ‎-角落里去 429 00:18:29,245 --> 00:18:30,245 ‎你也是... 430 00:18:30,525 --> 00:18:31,525 ‎给我 431 00:18:31,605 --> 00:18:33,165 ‎-啊 修女... ‎-立刻 432 00:18:38,325 --> 00:18:40,245 ‎你不是应该把那个放进没收箱里吗? 433 00:18:40,325 --> 00:18:41,565 ‎安静! 434 00:18:44,245 --> 00:18:45,085 ‎真的? 435 00:18:45,165 --> 00:18:47,805 ‎我要怎么做 艾琳? ‎那个颜色已经不声场了 436 00:18:52,965 --> 00:18:54,365 ‎这是折磨! 437 00:18:54,445 --> 00:18:57,565 ‎米歇尔 我忍不住了 438 00:18:57,645 --> 00:19:00,605 ‎我完全不他妈在乎 你不明白吗? 439 00:19:03,805 --> 00:19:06,925 ‎哦 看! ‎你无聊至极的日记让她睡着了 440 00:19:07,525 --> 00:19:08,885 ‎我要去把我的口红拿回来 441 00:19:09,525 --> 00:19:11,365 ‎米歇尔 你不能这么做!那是偷窃! 442 00:19:11,445 --> 00:19:12,645 ‎她先偷的! 443 00:19:12,965 --> 00:19:14,485 ‎米歇尔 不要! 444 00:19:14,565 --> 00:19:16,045 ‎我的天! 445 00:19:20,045 --> 00:19:22,005 ‎天啊 这太恶心了!别闹了! 446 00:19:22,085 --> 00:19:24,405 ‎英格兰人就这样!他妈的野蛮人! 447 00:19:27,005 --> 00:19:30,525 ‎别这样看着我 艾琳! ‎你会拿回你的两镑的! 448 00:19:31,085 --> 00:19:33,365 ‎但你还能找回自尊吗 克莱尔? 449 00:19:33,445 --> 00:19:36,045 ‎对 如果我现在就走 ‎我也许能赶得上大卫的演出 450 00:19:36,285 --> 00:19:38,485 ‎要是德克兰修女醒来怎么办? 451 00:19:38,565 --> 00:19:41,765 ‎她睡觉时眼睛也睁这么大 ‎是不是很好笑? 452 00:19:41,845 --> 00:19:42,685 ‎什么? 453 00:19:48,765 --> 00:19:50,845 ‎受苦难的耶和华呀! 454 00:20:03,125 --> 00:20:04,485 ‎进来 455 00:20:06,405 --> 00:20:08,325 ‎艾琳 怎么回事? 456 00:20:08,765 --> 00:20:10,445 ‎是你们杀了修女吗? 457 00:20:10,525 --> 00:20:11,565 ‎当然不是我们! 458 00:20:11,645 --> 00:20:15,085 ‎那你为什么在她的尸体上撒尿 ‎还做了三明治? 459 00:20:15,165 --> 00:20:16,245 ‎什么也别说 女孩们 460 00:20:16,325 --> 00:20:17,925 ‎在我们见律师前 什么也别说 461 00:20:18,245 --> 00:20:19,285 ‎你们能不能都坐下来? 462 00:20:24,685 --> 00:20:25,765 ‎对不起我迟到了 修女 463 00:20:25,845 --> 00:20:28,205 ‎过不了桥 那个该死的炸弹! 464 00:20:28,285 --> 00:20:30,245 ‎我求了那个英国佬让我冒个险 465 00:20:30,325 --> 00:20:32,565 ‎但那些混蛋偏让我走远路 466 00:20:32,645 --> 00:20:34,605 ‎健康安全局发疯了 黛德丽 467 00:20:34,725 --> 00:20:37,485 ‎你们是在玩什么把戏? ‎翻一个死掉的修女的手提袋? 468 00:20:37,565 --> 00:20:39,765 ‎-她偷了我的口红 妈咪... ‎-别说谎! 469 00:20:39,965 --> 00:20:42,085 ‎德克兰修女是信上帝的女人 470 00:20:42,165 --> 00:20:44,245 ‎她确实有偷东西的名声 471 00:20:45,085 --> 00:20:46,605 ‎我的妈妈在哪 黛德丽阿姨? 472 00:20:46,965 --> 00:20:48,485 ‎她回到伦敦去了 473 00:20:48,885 --> 00:20:49,845 ‎什么?没带上我? 474 00:20:49,925 --> 00:20:51,805 ‎啊 擦干眼泪吧 詹姆斯 475 00:20:52,885 --> 00:20:54,205 ‎让你们等真不好意思 修女 476 00:20:54,285 --> 00:20:56,845 ‎他喵地解除个炸弹要多久? 477 00:20:56,925 --> 00:20:58,405 ‎当然了 都是小机器人在工作! 478 00:21:00,005 --> 00:21:02,325 ‎-杀起修女来了 嗯? ‎-我没有 爸爸! 479 00:21:02,445 --> 00:21:03,925 ‎等到让你妈知道了 看你怎么办 480 00:21:05,005 --> 00:21:08,445 ‎显然 德克兰修女的死 ‎非常地出乎意料 令人震惊 481 00:21:09,165 --> 00:21:11,485 ‎我们还没能弄明白到底发生了什么 482 00:21:12,405 --> 00:21:13,885 ‎-嗯 ‎-我能不能问问... 483 00:21:13,965 --> 00:21:16,445 ‎德克兰修女几岁了? 484 00:21:16,565 --> 00:21:18,485 ‎到周五就应该有98了 485 00:21:18,565 --> 00:21:19,645 ‎对 486 00:21:20,005 --> 00:21:22,525 ‎这能不能帮忙提供一点解释呢? 487 00:21:23,005 --> 00:21:23,925 ‎怎么说? 488 00:21:25,205 --> 00:21:28,045 ‎就没有人想到 489 00:21:28,125 --> 00:21:30,645 ‎她已经98岁这回事了吗? 490 00:21:30,725 --> 00:21:32,445 ‎风华正茂却去世了 491 00:21:32,805 --> 00:21:35,965 ‎医院说是心脏衰竭 492 00:21:36,045 --> 00:21:38,405 ‎但我有些怀疑 493 00:21:38,485 --> 00:21:40,085 ‎就像我电话里说的 494 00:21:40,165 --> 00:21:43,005 ‎我发现她尸体的状况... 495 00:21:43,085 --> 00:21:44,965 ‎有些奇怪 说轻点的话 496 00:21:45,045 --> 00:21:48,085 ‎所以我决定对此事件进行全面的调查 497 00:21:48,925 --> 00:21:50,245 ‎有道理 498 00:21:51,365 --> 00:21:52,205 ‎什么? 499 00:21:52,845 --> 00:21:55,045 ‎这有什么道理? 500 00:21:55,125 --> 00:21:57,245 ‎这个女人几乎有98岁了! 501 00:21:57,325 --> 00:21:58,645 ‎她心脏病发了! 502 00:21:58,925 --> 00:22:01,085 ‎为什么大家都这么疯狂? 503 00:22:01,165 --> 00:22:02,365 ‎少说点吧 艾琳 504 00:22:02,845 --> 00:22:05,965 ‎我们什么也没做!不公平! 505 00:22:06,045 --> 00:22:08,525 ‎“但问题在于 人生就是不公平的 506 00:22:08,885 --> 00:22:12,725 ‎你明白吗 ‎不公正这件事我已经习惯了 507 00:22:12,805 --> 00:22:16,085 ‎毕竟我是一个被冲突 508 00:22:16,165 --> 00:22:18,205 ‎和争端围绕的小孩 509 00:22:18,645 --> 00:22:20,805 ‎但我选择站起来 超脱这一切 510 00:22:21,245 --> 00:22:26,725 ‎通往和平的道路 ‎铺满了宽容和理解 511 00:22:26,805 --> 00:22:30,325 ‎暴力永远不是答案” 512 00:22:31,205 --> 00:22:35,805 ‎我要把这个深深地塞进你的屁...