1 00:00:06,045 --> 00:00:09,925 ‎Netflix 原创剧集 2 00:00:33,325 --> 00:00:35,205 ‎我的老天啊 3 00:00:41,645 --> 00:00:43,245 ‎我没有禁掉这首歌吗? 4 00:00:44,005 --> 00:00:46,005 ‎我们看看 嗯... 5 00:00:46,765 --> 00:00:48,485 ‎《无尽的爱》、《爱的力量》 6 00:00:48,565 --> 00:00:50,405 ‎《你需要的只是爱》、 ‎《你的爱有多深》 7 00:00:50,485 --> 00:00:52,485 ‎《这肯定就是爱》、 ‎《我想知道爱是什么》 8 00:00:52,565 --> 00:00:54,045 ‎《我会永远爱你》 9 00:00:54,445 --> 00:00:57,085 ‎不 修女 你没禁 10 00:01:05,605 --> 00:01:06,485 ‎也把这首歌列上去 11 00:01:07,445 --> 00:01:08,885 ‎很棒 女孩们 表演得很好 12 00:01:10,045 --> 00:01:12,965 ‎在让你们放学去度周末之前 ‎我有几样事要宣布 13 00:01:13,045 --> 00:01:16,245 ‎周一早晨 我们几位13界的学生 14 00:01:16,325 --> 00:01:19,165 ‎要重考普通中等教育证书的数学 15 00:01:19,245 --> 00:01:23,245 ‎我明白重新考试有多么令人害怕 16 00:01:23,445 --> 00:01:27,805 ‎所以如果任何人感到焦虑或者担忧 ‎甚至你想要和人聊一聊 17 00:01:27,885 --> 00:01:30,925 ‎请千万千万不要来找我哭 18 00:01:31,365 --> 00:01:32,405 ‎让我想想 还有什么? 19 00:01:32,485 --> 00:01:34,365 ‎拜托 拜托 他妈的! 20 00:01:34,445 --> 00:01:36,605 ‎来自麦考利先生的通知 21 00:01:36,965 --> 00:01:40,605 ‎今年欧洲行的目的地将是... 22 00:01:40,685 --> 00:01:41,805 ‎戏剧性地暂停一下... 23 00:01:45,245 --> 00:01:47,765 ‎你真的想让我戏剧性地暂停一下? 24 00:01:49,165 --> 00:01:50,285 ‎有意思 25 00:01:51,605 --> 00:01:54,005 ‎巴黎 我们要去巴黎 26 00:01:54,085 --> 00:01:57,765 ‎如果你们想要更多的信息 ‎大厅那边有一个摊点 27 00:01:58,205 --> 00:01:59,445 ‎不幸的是 28 00:01:59,525 --> 00:02:02,965 ‎我将无法参加 因为我鄙视法国人 29 00:02:04,565 --> 00:02:06,405 ‎以圣父 圣子 圣灵之名 30 00:02:12,405 --> 00:02:13,765 ‎我有好多想要做的事啊! 31 00:02:13,845 --> 00:02:16,765 ‎香榭丽舍大道、凯旋门、卢浮宫 32 00:02:16,845 --> 00:02:18,925 ‎法国人 这是我想“做”的 33 00:02:19,005 --> 00:02:20,445 ‎每国人都骑个遍 34 00:02:20,525 --> 00:02:22,245 ‎我光是想想 小穴就有点感觉了 35 00:02:22,325 --> 00:02:24,045 ‎你可以不要说那个词吗 米歇尔? 36 00:02:24,125 --> 00:02:25,005 ‎什么词 “小穴”? 37 00:02:25,085 --> 00:02:26,445 ‎你为什么总得这么粗俗? 38 00:02:26,525 --> 00:02:28,205 ‎有什么大不了的?我们身上都长着呀 39 00:02:28,285 --> 00:02:29,325 ‎我没有 40 00:02:29,405 --> 00:02:30,285 ‎你整个人就是 41 00:02:30,365 --> 00:02:32,485 ‎当然了 贝克特曾经住在巴黎 42 00:02:32,565 --> 00:02:35,005 ‎如果说有任何人 ‎对我的写作有影响 那就非... 43 00:02:35,085 --> 00:02:37,525 ‎-什么 12A的布兰达·贝克特? ‎-当然不是! 44 00:02:37,605 --> 00:02:39,965 ‎不是布兰达·贝克特 ‎那个著名的贝克特! 45 00:02:40,045 --> 00:02:42,765 ‎如果我们去巴黎 我想要见见妮可 46 00:02:42,845 --> 00:02:44,525 ‎-谁是妮可? ‎-帮帮忙朋友! 47 00:02:45,005 --> 00:02:47,845 ‎说了多少次了? ‎那是个广告而已 不是真人 48 00:02:47,925 --> 00:02:49,245 ‎爸爸也不是! 49 00:02:49,325 --> 00:02:50,925 ‎也会是一个练习对话的好机会 50 00:02:51,005 --> 00:02:52,725 ‎你懂的 口头上的 51 00:02:52,805 --> 00:02:55,765 ‎-这会是你这辈子唯一接受的口... ‎-得了 米歇尔! 52 00:02:55,845 --> 00:02:57,005 ‎你能让我说完吗? 53 00:02:57,085 --> 00:02:58,925 ‎我感觉到你接下来要说什么了 54 00:02:59,725 --> 00:03:01,685 ‎-口交 ‎-我的天! 55 00:03:02,045 --> 00:03:04,045 ‎别告诉我莎琳·卡瓦纳也要去 56 00:03:04,645 --> 00:03:06,365 ‎她总是一副屈尊了她的样子 57 00:03:06,445 --> 00:03:09,245 ‎“哦 我长得真美 ‎哦 我真受欢迎” 58 00:03:09,325 --> 00:03:11,485 ‎世界上没有比她更加肤浅 59 00:03:11,565 --> 00:03:14,125 ‎自恋 讨人厌的人... 60 00:03:14,205 --> 00:03:15,045 ‎嗨 艾琳 61 00:03:15,645 --> 00:03:16,485 ‎嗨 62 00:03:17,205 --> 00:03:18,365 ‎很好 棒极了 63 00:03:18,445 --> 00:03:20,685 ‎不错 挺好的... 64 00:03:21,165 --> 00:03:23,885 ‎是我的回答 如果你问我好不好的话 65 00:03:24,165 --> 00:03:26,365 ‎嗯 你要报名去巴黎吗? 66 00:03:26,885 --> 00:03:29,405 ‎我找不到太多人一起去 67 00:03:29,805 --> 00:03:31,805 ‎看来我需要一个同行的伴 68 00:03:32,845 --> 00:03:34,405 ‎那简直太荣幸了 69 00:03:35,205 --> 00:03:37,805 ‎好的 很好 那我们回头见了 70 00:03:38,245 --> 00:03:40,725 ‎会的 莎琳 我们肯定会的 71 00:03:41,125 --> 00:03:42,285 ‎你们听见了吗? 72 00:03:42,365 --> 00:03:46,285 ‎莎琳·卡瓦纳想要和 ‎平凡卑微的我一起作伴 73 00:03:46,365 --> 00:03:48,045 ‎你知道我最崇拜你哪点吗 艾琳? 74 00:03:48,125 --> 00:03:49,925 ‎你坚持自己无法动摇的原则 75 00:03:52,165 --> 00:03:55,485 ‎你好 各位 你们好吗? 76 00:03:55,565 --> 00:03:57,805 ‎-聪明点吧 珍妮 ‎-我们签在哪? 77 00:03:58,005 --> 00:04:00,045 ‎等等!给我他妈等等! 78 00:04:00,125 --> 00:04:02,765 ‎三百七十五块?真的假的? 79 00:04:02,845 --> 00:04:05,685 ‎什么?每个人三百七十五块? 80 00:04:06,485 --> 00:04:09,845 ‎-我们就没什么团体折扣吗? ‎-这又不是18-30俱乐部 81 00:04:09,925 --> 00:04:11,845 ‎-这样太可惜了 ‎-喂 这有点略贵呀 珍妮 82 00:04:11,925 --> 00:04:15,285 ‎去你们的信托基金里取一点不就行了 ‎我总是这么做 83 00:04:15,685 --> 00:04:16,525 ‎我们的啥? 84 00:04:16,605 --> 00:04:18,645 ‎就是一个父母给你们设立的账户 85 00:04:18,725 --> 00:04:21,725 ‎来帮你买各种东西 ‎比如大学 第一辆车 86 00:04:21,805 --> 00:04:23,685 ‎游学班什么的 87 00:04:23,765 --> 00:04:25,965 ‎我不知道还有这回事 88 00:04:26,045 --> 00:04:28,525 ‎-你知道有这么回事吗? ‎-不 我知道个屁 89 00:04:28,965 --> 00:04:30,045 ‎信托基金 是吗? 90 00:04:31,205 --> 00:04:32,885 ‎有意思 91 00:04:33,285 --> 00:04:37,005 ‎去信托基金取点? ‎当然了 没问题 92 00:04:37,085 --> 00:04:39,805 ‎把电话递过来 ‎我给银行打个电话就好 93 00:04:39,885 --> 00:04:41,485 ‎七六五四三二一 94 00:04:41,565 --> 00:04:44,565 ‎账号是这个 密码的话... ‎是啥来着? 95 00:04:44,645 --> 00:04:45,485 ‎到底是啥呢? 96 00:04:45,565 --> 00:04:47,525 ‎哦对了 做你的春秋大梦去吧! 97 00:04:47,645 --> 00:04:49,845 ‎爸 看在上帝的份上 ‎你就不能把声音关小点吗? 98 00:04:49,925 --> 00:04:52,045 ‎我已经关小了 关到零了 99 00:04:53,085 --> 00:04:54,485 ‎我不知道他是怎么做到的 100 00:04:54,725 --> 00:04:56,405 ‎你是在跟我说 我没有信托基金吗? 101 00:04:56,485 --> 00:04:58,165 ‎终于明白了 ‎你也没有看上去这么笨 102 00:04:58,245 --> 00:04:59,885 ‎我有信托基金吗 玛丽? 103 00:04:59,965 --> 00:05:02,045 ‎听好了孩子们 没有信托基金 104 00:05:02,125 --> 00:05:03,925 ‎连金都没有 105 00:05:04,005 --> 00:05:05,645 ‎天啊! 106 00:05:06,245 --> 00:05:10,005 ‎好了 那就要一份红鱼 一份白鱼 107 00:05:10,085 --> 00:05:11,885 ‎-两袋薯条... ‎-不不不! 108 00:05:11,965 --> 00:05:13,565 ‎两袋是不够的 109 00:05:13,645 --> 00:05:14,485 ‎两袋够多了 乔 110 00:05:14,565 --> 00:05:16,565 ‎四袋 四袋还差不多 111 00:05:16,645 --> 00:05:17,885 ‎那就三袋 我们各让一步 112 00:05:18,245 --> 00:05:20,605 ‎-我把你让出那扇窗去 ‎-够了 爸 113 00:05:20,685 --> 00:05:22,565 ‎这个吝啬的杂种 ‎想要饿死我们 玛丽! 114 00:05:23,285 --> 00:05:25,565 ‎好吧!那就四袋薯条! 115 00:05:25,645 --> 00:05:28,485 ‎我还想要12个鸡块 ‎一小条炸热狗 116 00:05:28,565 --> 00:05:30,965 ‎-足量的洋葱 足量的... ‎-赶快点 老爸 117 00:05:31,045 --> 00:05:33,605 ‎周五晚上 那个炸鱼薯条店 ‎人多到不行 118 00:05:33,685 --> 00:05:35,485 ‎我一直在想办法集中精神 艾琳 119 00:05:35,565 --> 00:05:37,805 ‎-你好吗 玛丽? ‎-你好吗 亲爱的 120 00:05:37,885 --> 00:05:39,965 ‎你问了信托基金的事吗? 121 00:05:40,045 --> 00:05:41,405 ‎我没有 122 00:05:42,085 --> 00:05:43,605 ‎那是不是说我也没有? 123 00:05:43,805 --> 00:05:45,405 ‎老天啊! 124 00:05:45,485 --> 00:05:47,165 ‎四袋足够吗? 125 00:05:47,245 --> 00:05:49,885 ‎-足够多啦! ‎-我觉得我们还是买五袋比较安全 126 00:05:49,965 --> 00:05:51,805 ‎-你不这么想吗 爸? ‎-写下五袋 127 00:05:52,725 --> 00:05:54,365 ‎那就五袋薯条! 128 00:05:54,445 --> 00:05:57,645 ‎我还要个鸡排堡 ‎不要生菜、番茄和芝士 129 00:05:57,725 --> 00:05:59,885 ‎-我就写“不加料” 不行吗? ‎-不要洋葱、黄瓜 130 00:05:59,965 --> 00:06:02,605 ‎-一个不加料... ‎-不要酸菜酱、酸黄瓜、蛋黄酱 131 00:06:02,685 --> 00:06:04,965 ‎-不要鸡肉 ‎-“不要鸡肉”是什么意思? 132 00:06:05,685 --> 00:06:06,645 ‎去接 133 00:06:09,045 --> 00:06:11,405 ‎这是个鸡肉堡!我当然要鸡肉了! 134 00:06:12,045 --> 00:06:13,805 ‎你是个啥?蠢货吗? 135 00:06:13,885 --> 00:06:15,165 ‎-你好 ‎-还不要鸡肉 136 00:06:17,405 --> 00:06:18,365 ‎是科勒姆叔叔 137 00:06:18,445 --> 00:06:21,605 ‎好吧 我可不接 ‎我这礼拜已经遭过一次罪了 138 00:06:21,805 --> 00:06:24,965 ‎光他的新鞋带就讲了一小时四十五分 139 00:06:25,045 --> 00:06:27,965 ‎当然 我因为怕他 ‎直接连电话都不接了 玛丽 140 00:06:28,045 --> 00:06:28,965 ‎你去接吗 爸? 141 00:06:29,045 --> 00:06:30,285 ‎没门 亲爱的 142 00:06:30,365 --> 00:06:32,405 ‎我知道我不该 ‎这么说我的兄弟 但是... 143 00:06:32,965 --> 00:06:34,765 ‎但上帝啊 他真是个无聊的混蛋 144 00:06:34,845 --> 00:06:36,845 ‎到底有没有人去接? 145 00:06:36,925 --> 00:06:38,685 ‎-别这么没礼貌? ‎-礼貌点 你给我! 146 00:06:40,205 --> 00:06:41,325 ‎还好吗 科勒姆? 147 00:06:42,565 --> 00:06:44,485 ‎你有没有想过装个无绳电话? 148 00:06:44,565 --> 00:06:47,205 ‎嗯 早些时候确实冷到不行 149 00:06:47,285 --> 00:06:50,565 ‎珍娜·夏基装了个无绳的 ‎她现在变了个人似的 杰里 150 00:06:50,645 --> 00:06:51,725 ‎不 现在没那么冷了 151 00:06:51,805 --> 00:06:56,885 ‎她在哪都能打电话了 ‎起居室、厨房、卧室 152 00:06:56,965 --> 00:07:00,165 ‎嗯 听着 科勒姆 我没什么时间了 ‎我们要去炸鱼薯条店下订单了 153 00:07:00,245 --> 00:07:02,605 ‎有天晚上 知道么 我这不是在吹牛 154 00:07:02,685 --> 00:07:04,965 ‎她在浴缸里给我打了个电话 155 00:07:05,045 --> 00:07:07,365 ‎-这些无绳电话是未来的趋势 ‎-什么? 156 00:07:08,325 --> 00:07:09,645 ‎我的天! 157 00:07:09,925 --> 00:07:12,405 ‎-怎么了? ‎-我们的科勒姆在警察局! 158 00:07:12,485 --> 00:07:15,165 ‎昨晚 两个持枪的人闯进了他家里 159 00:07:15,245 --> 00:07:16,605 ‎把他绑了 偷走了他的箱车 160 00:07:17,485 --> 00:07:18,605 ‎可恶的混蛋! 161 00:07:18,685 --> 00:07:20,765 ‎天呐 你真可怜 162 00:07:21,445 --> 00:07:23,285 ‎你现在就到我们这来 听见了吗? 163 00:07:23,605 --> 00:07:25,485 ‎当然了 当然了 164 00:07:26,645 --> 00:07:27,485 ‎他没事吧? 165 00:07:28,045 --> 00:07:30,285 ‎他精神上受了重创 杰里 166 00:07:31,565 --> 00:07:33,325 ‎他来个牛肉腰子派就好 167 00:07:34,925 --> 00:07:36,565 ‎你觉得五袋薯条会够吗? 168 00:07:42,845 --> 00:07:49,325 ‎7袋薯条 十二个鸡块 一小条炸热狗 169 00:07:49,405 --> 00:07:52,805 ‎-一个不加料的鸡肉堡... ‎-给我!小婊子! 170 00:07:53,085 --> 00:07:54,565 ‎谢谢你 菲努拉 171 00:07:54,645 --> 00:07:57,365 ‎嗯?信托基金的事有好消息吗? 172 00:07:57,445 --> 00:07:59,325 ‎根据我妈的说法 我们实际上很穷 173 00:07:59,405 --> 00:08:01,605 ‎是吧 我想我们也是 174 00:08:01,685 --> 00:08:02,765 ‎你要点什么? 175 00:08:02,845 --> 00:08:05,525 ‎我想要一个炸鱼晚餐 ‎和一个牛仔套餐? 176 00:08:05,605 --> 00:08:06,765 ‎拜托了 菲努拉 谢谢你 177 00:08:06,845 --> 00:08:08,125 ‎别急 好了会叫你的 178 00:08:08,405 --> 00:08:11,685 ‎珍妮·乔伊斯真是张着肥嘴说瞎话 ‎什么信托基金啊? 179 00:08:11,765 --> 00:08:13,685 ‎-你要点什么? ‎-别催我 菲努拉 180 00:08:14,805 --> 00:08:16,805 ‎现在我们他妈要从哪 ‎搞到去巴黎的钱? 181 00:08:16,885 --> 00:08:18,765 ‎我们可以卖器官 182 00:08:18,845 --> 00:08:21,565 ‎确实 我们可以卖器官 183 00:08:21,645 --> 00:08:24,125 ‎或者 原谅我如果这想法 ‎与常人有些不同 184 00:08:24,205 --> 00:08:26,405 ‎但也许我们可以去找些工作? 185 00:08:26,485 --> 00:08:28,885 ‎在德里没有工作可以做 ‎大家一直都这么说 186 00:08:29,045 --> 00:08:30,245 ‎那这些是什么? 187 00:08:31,885 --> 00:08:33,445 ‎我以前还重来没正眼看过这些 188 00:08:33,525 --> 00:08:35,205 ‎我一直以为这只是些关于死猫的告示 189 00:08:35,285 --> 00:08:36,885 ‎“失踪的猫”的告示 190 00:08:36,965 --> 00:08:38,085 ‎如果你是个乐天派的话 191 00:08:38,165 --> 00:08:40,485 ‎不过我不太确定我能不能做这些 192 00:08:40,565 --> 00:08:43,445 ‎都比较偏体力活 ‎我更加...有创造力点 193 00:08:43,845 --> 00:08:45,125 ‎你更加扯淡一点还差不多 194 00:08:50,885 --> 00:08:53,885 ‎妈的! ‎我想有别人要抢活干 妹子们! 195 00:08:53,965 --> 00:08:55,525 ‎喂 我不会再问你一遍了! 196 00:08:55,605 --> 00:08:58,245 ‎一份大的牛仔 菲努拉 ‎这次加盐的时候别客气 197 00:08:58,325 --> 00:08:59,365 ‎那这个英国佬呢? 198 00:08:59,605 --> 00:09:00,565 ‎说呀 傻蛋? 199 00:09:02,085 --> 00:09:04,445 ‎-我不用了 谢谢 ‎-什么? 200 00:09:04,845 --> 00:09:05,885 ‎我真的啥也不想要 201 00:09:05,965 --> 00:09:06,965 ‎你啥也不想要? 202 00:09:07,045 --> 00:09:08,485 ‎你怎能啥也不要? ‎这可好吃了 203 00:09:08,565 --> 00:09:10,445 ‎我只是不是很喜欢 仅此而已 204 00:09:10,525 --> 00:09:11,565 ‎我不明白 205 00:09:11,645 --> 00:09:14,485 ‎-你身体不好吗 詹姆斯? ‎-我不喜欢! 206 00:09:14,565 --> 00:09:15,445 ‎可以吗? 207 00:09:15,525 --> 00:09:19,445 ‎这太油了!实在太太油了! 208 00:09:19,525 --> 00:09:23,005 ‎光是闻到这味道 ‎就让我身体不舒服! 209 00:09:24,085 --> 00:09:26,445 ‎很抱歉让你听到这样的话 菲努拉 210 00:09:27,405 --> 00:09:29,005 ‎你真他妈的丢人! 211 00:09:29,085 --> 00:09:30,845 ‎让他滚出去! 212 00:09:31,005 --> 00:09:32,005 ‎你听到这位女士了 213 00:09:36,125 --> 00:09:37,645 ‎有敲门声传来 214 00:09:37,965 --> 00:09:41,125 ‎应该是...嗯 ‎大概八点吧 八点半 215 00:09:41,605 --> 00:09:43,285 ‎因为我晚餐刚吃了一半 216 00:09:43,725 --> 00:09:45,685 ‎然后我站起来去开门 217 00:09:46,205 --> 00:09:48,165 ‎他们俩就站在那 218 00:09:48,245 --> 00:09:49,165 ‎人高马大的 219 00:09:49,885 --> 00:09:51,245 ‎高一点的那家伙 220 00:09:51,565 --> 00:09:54,445 ‎虽然说 只高了不到一寸 对吧 221 00:09:54,525 --> 00:09:55,445 ‎耶稣都哭了 222 00:09:55,525 --> 00:09:57,245 ‎稍微高一点的那家伙 223 00:09:57,325 --> 00:10:00,245 ‎他跟我说 这么说的: ‎“你知道我们是谁吗?” 224 00:10:00,325 --> 00:10:02,005 ‎要好好吃个饭怎么就这么难? 225 00:10:02,245 --> 00:10:03,645 ‎然后我对他说 这么说的: 226 00:10:03,725 --> 00:10:08,245 ‎“这个嘛 我现在不确定 ‎如果你脱下面罩来或许我就知道了” 227 00:10:08,765 --> 00:10:12,125 ‎然后他跟我说 那个稍微高一点的人 228 00:10:12,365 --> 00:10:14,485 ‎他说道:“让开 我们有武器” 229 00:10:14,565 --> 00:10:15,685 ‎聪明 230 00:10:15,765 --> 00:10:18,125 ‎这时候那个个子小一点的人 231 00:10:18,205 --> 00:10:19,965 ‎虽然正如我所说的 只相差了一寸 232 00:10:20,045 --> 00:10:21,045 ‎妈咪 让他停下来吧 233 00:10:21,125 --> 00:10:23,165 ‎-最多也就一寸半 ‎-我需要喝杯酒 234 00:10:23,245 --> 00:10:26,765 ‎他想出了把我 ‎绑在暖气片上面的好主意 235 00:10:27,245 --> 00:10:29,325 ‎我记得我当时对自己说 我说: 236 00:10:29,405 --> 00:10:30,365 ‎“科勒姆 237 00:10:30,445 --> 00:10:34,045 ‎还好你是按照 ‎7号经济型峰谷电计划来设置的加热 238 00:10:34,125 --> 00:10:35,165 ‎不然你就要被烤熟了” 239 00:10:35,245 --> 00:10:37,765 ‎你最后真是按照 ‎7号经济型来设的吗 科勒姆? 240 00:10:37,845 --> 00:10:40,165 ‎我以为你说热水器的设置 ‎处处是地雷呢? 241 00:10:40,245 --> 00:10:42,245 ‎看在上帝的份上 莎拉 别再扯开去了 242 00:10:42,325 --> 00:10:44,605 ‎好了 让我们快说完吧 ‎他们把你绑到了暖气上 243 00:10:44,685 --> 00:10:45,925 ‎他们确实这样做了 244 00:10:46,165 --> 00:10:47,125 ‎然后我就坐在那 245 00:10:47,205 --> 00:10:50,325 ‎用我新的鞋带 ‎被捆在了温控阀门上 246 00:10:50,645 --> 00:10:51,725 ‎他们中的一个 247 00:10:51,805 --> 00:10:53,125 ‎那个小个一点的人 248 00:10:53,205 --> 00:10:55,845 ‎-等等 也许是那个... ‎-这无关紧要 科勒姆 249 00:10:55,925 --> 00:10:57,365 ‎好吧 是他们俩中的一个 250 00:10:57,445 --> 00:10:59,245 ‎他在找我箱车的钥匙 251 00:10:59,325 --> 00:11:02,845 ‎一直骂骂咧咧的 搞得自己很激动 252 00:11:02,925 --> 00:11:06,645 ‎威胁说要把我的高级躺椅 ‎给烧掉之类的 253 00:11:07,085 --> 00:11:10,725 ‎老天啊 他们为了借我的箱车 ‎真是使劲了浑身解数 254 00:11:10,805 --> 00:11:12,925 ‎科勒姆 他们不是借了你的箱车 255 00:11:13,005 --> 00:11:14,285 ‎他们偷了你的箱车 256 00:11:14,365 --> 00:11:17,365 ‎用来偷运军火过边境 ‎然后他们把它炸掉了 257 00:11:17,445 --> 00:11:19,645 ‎是啊 完全是噩梦一场 258 00:11:19,725 --> 00:11:21,725 ‎或者说是恶魔一般 法国人这么说的 259 00:11:21,805 --> 00:11:24,645 ‎或者说是 “你去不了巴黎” ‎德里人这么说的 260 00:11:24,725 --> 00:11:27,725 ‎-好吧 我为你感到高兴 科勒姆 ‎-什么? 261 00:11:28,045 --> 00:11:30,165 ‎那个 我的意思是...好吧 262 00:11:30,885 --> 00:11:33,325 ‎在这之前 他的生活毫无意义 263 00:11:33,405 --> 00:11:36,325 ‎但现在 那个... ‎现在你算是有故事的人了 264 00:11:36,405 --> 00:11:39,565 ‎现在你是那个 ‎被绑到自己的加热片上的人了 265 00:11:39,645 --> 00:11:40,525 ‎谢谢 莎拉 266 00:11:40,725 --> 00:11:43,405 ‎我们应该给UTV电视台打个电话 ‎让他们来做个采访 267 00:11:43,725 --> 00:11:46,125 ‎就像是上次肖娜·夏基被采访时 ‎你记得的 268 00:11:46,205 --> 00:11:47,725 ‎她兄弟被抢了车? 269 00:11:47,805 --> 00:11:50,485 ‎那个 菲努拉给了她 ‎一个月的免费薯条 270 00:11:50,565 --> 00:11:52,485 ‎-你没说笑吧? ‎-上帝作证 271 00:11:53,045 --> 00:11:54,125 ‎我去! 272 00:11:57,085 --> 00:12:00,925 ‎你永远猜不到她这次做了啥 艾琳! 273 00:12:01,285 --> 00:12:03,805 ‎她是不是从薯条店 ‎偷了布告板 克莱尔? 274 00:12:08,165 --> 00:12:09,965 ‎菲努拉在后面 数着钱 275 00:12:10,045 --> 00:12:13,525 ‎我偷偷溜进去 把它从墙上弄了下来 ‎然后我就逃走了 276 00:12:13,605 --> 00:12:15,285 ‎我晚上就像是个贼一样 277 00:12:16,485 --> 00:12:20,645 ‎你晚上只是“像”个贼? ‎你晚上就是个贼还差不多 278 00:12:20,725 --> 00:12:23,005 ‎而你好偷不偷 偏从菲努拉那里偷! 279 00:12:23,085 --> 00:12:23,925 ‎菲努拉! 280 00:12:24,005 --> 00:12:26,445 ‎我又一次看见她给一只 ‎罗威纳犬来了一拳 米歇尔! 281 00:12:26,525 --> 00:12:28,765 ‎要是被她发现了 她会杀了你的! 282 00:12:28,845 --> 00:12:29,965 ‎杀了“我们”! 283 00:12:30,285 --> 00:12:32,285 ‎你现在是共犯了 我的朋友 284 00:12:32,365 --> 00:12:35,325 ‎-天啊! ‎-我能不能问你为什么要偷公告板? 285 00:12:35,405 --> 00:12:37,365 ‎这样我们就在所有工作上有优先权了 286 00:12:37,445 --> 00:12:40,845 ‎拿走广告不是更容易吗? 287 00:12:41,245 --> 00:12:42,805 ‎它们只是被黏上去的 288 00:12:44,285 --> 00:12:45,285 ‎滚开 傻屌! 289 00:12:45,365 --> 00:12:47,245 ‎耶稣啊! ‎你到底是着了什么魔 米歇尔? 290 00:12:47,485 --> 00:12:48,325 ‎天! 291 00:12:48,645 --> 00:12:51,045 ‎我越说 越清晰 292 00:12:51,285 --> 00:12:52,645 ‎我越是不确定 293 00:12:52,725 --> 00:12:53,605 ‎你喝醉了? 294 00:12:53,685 --> 00:12:54,965 ‎太棒了 295 00:12:55,045 --> 00:12:57,485 ‎听着 我们和珍妮·乔伊斯不一样 296 00:12:57,565 --> 00:12:59,885 ‎没人会把东西送到我们面前 297 00:13:00,085 --> 00:13:02,405 ‎但这不代表我们不配拥有东西! 298 00:13:03,005 --> 00:13:04,205 ‎来吧 克莱尔 299 00:13:06,045 --> 00:13:08,765 ‎我知道你做梦也想见到凯旋... 300 00:13:08,845 --> 00:13:10,085 ‎什么破玩意的 301 00:13:11,085 --> 00:13:11,925 ‎詹姆斯 302 00:13:13,085 --> 00:13:16,285 ‎我知道你有想练习过去分词 303 00:13:16,605 --> 00:13:17,485 ‎欧拉 304 00:13:19,365 --> 00:13:21,885 ‎你真的很喜欢那些雷诺车的广告 305 00:13:22,885 --> 00:13:24,245 ‎还有你 艾琳 306 00:13:24,765 --> 00:13:25,725 ‎那个... 307 00:13:26,805 --> 00:13:28,205 ‎你只是在跪舔莎琳·卡瓦纳 308 00:13:28,285 --> 00:13:29,565 ‎我可没有跪舔她 309 00:13:29,645 --> 00:13:32,645 ‎我只是认为这次 ‎我能在友情方面有些进步了 310 00:13:32,725 --> 00:13:34,765 ‎你知道你是在跟现任朋友们说话吧? 311 00:13:36,565 --> 00:13:37,965 ‎我们不能放弃巴黎! 312 00:13:38,405 --> 00:13:40,245 ‎我们一起努力吧 女孩们 让它成真! 313 00:13:40,325 --> 00:13:42,525 ‎天啊 我从来没见你这么激动过! 314 00:13:42,605 --> 00:13:44,525 ‎我一定会日到法国人的 艾琳! 315 00:13:44,965 --> 00:13:47,085 ‎我要日一个法国人 上帝助我! 316 00:13:49,565 --> 00:13:53,525 ‎好了 首先 我们有补习的工作 ‎而所有人当中 317 00:13:53,605 --> 00:13:56,405 ‎我认为你是最合适的 ‎克莱尔 因为... 318 00:13:56,485 --> 00:13:57,845 ‎我是最聪明的 319 00:13:57,925 --> 00:14:00,165 ‎好吧 以世俗的角度来看 可能是吧 320 00:14:00,965 --> 00:14:02,365 ‎还有些照顾小孩的工作 321 00:14:02,445 --> 00:14:06,525 ‎小孩是躺在床上的 ‎所以这你应该能够应付 米歇尔 322 00:14:06,605 --> 00:14:07,565 ‎哦 谢谢 323 00:14:07,645 --> 00:14:09,525 ‎这你应该也能应付 324 00:14:09,605 --> 00:14:10,765 ‎你总是这么淑女 325 00:14:11,165 --> 00:14:14,485 ‎还有些园艺工作 除草什么的 326 00:14:14,565 --> 00:14:17,205 ‎这会需要一些肌肉 所以... 327 00:14:17,965 --> 00:14:19,485 ‎应该由你来负责 欧拉 328 00:14:20,085 --> 00:14:21,805 ‎不 应该让我来做 329 00:14:21,885 --> 00:14:24,445 ‎-这是男人的工作 艾琳 我是个男人 ‎-这点有待商榷 330 00:14:24,885 --> 00:14:26,165 ‎好吧 至少我比欧拉男人 331 00:14:26,245 --> 00:14:28,285 ‎我不接受 332 00:14:28,405 --> 00:14:29,485 ‎拜托了 艾琳 333 00:14:29,605 --> 00:14:30,525 ‎好吧 334 00:14:30,925 --> 00:14:33,525 ‎所以剩下的是遛狗和洗车了 335 00:14:33,605 --> 00:14:35,565 ‎-是一辆雷诺车吗? ‎-不 336 00:14:36,005 --> 00:14:37,685 ‎那我来负责狗 337 00:14:38,125 --> 00:14:38,965 ‎好的 338 00:14:42,205 --> 00:14:43,845 ‎我们开始工作吧 339 00:15:07,445 --> 00:15:09,405 ‎你们这些偷东西的混账! 340 00:15:17,485 --> 00:15:18,405 ‎你怎么发现的? 341 00:15:18,485 --> 00:15:20,365 ‎她怎么发现的不重要 米歇尔 342 00:15:20,445 --> 00:15:21,525 ‎这不是重点 343 00:15:21,605 --> 00:15:23,685 ‎重点是我们都有大麻烦... 344 00:15:23,765 --> 00:15:25,085 ‎她妈给我打的电话 345 00:15:25,165 --> 00:15:26,685 ‎你告诉你妈了? 346 00:15:26,885 --> 00:15:30,485 ‎好吧 是我交代的! ‎我没能忍住所以我交代了! 347 00:15:30,725 --> 00:15:32,565 ‎-这你妈 克莱尔... ‎-够了! 348 00:15:33,085 --> 00:15:34,165 ‎我们接下来要怎么做? 349 00:15:34,525 --> 00:15:35,405 ‎玛丽 听着 350 00:15:36,085 --> 00:15:37,005 ‎你是家人 351 00:15:37,445 --> 00:15:38,845 ‎你们是好人 352 00:15:39,325 --> 00:15:40,645 ‎我们是还可以的人 353 00:15:41,205 --> 00:15:42,485 ‎但我必须要杀鸡儆猴 354 00:15:42,925 --> 00:15:44,845 ‎不!亲爱的上帝啊 不要! 355 00:15:45,045 --> 00:15:46,285 ‎你不是要下禁令了吧? 356 00:15:46,605 --> 00:15:47,565 ‎是的 357 00:15:47,645 --> 00:15:49,485 ‎我们管这叫暂时禁止吧 ‎对不起 玛丽 358 00:15:50,125 --> 00:15:53,725 ‎啊 菲努拉 你怎么来了呢? ‎就说嘛 我好像闻到了醋味 359 00:15:54,245 --> 00:15:58,805 ‎我在去见科勒姆的路上 ‎我紧张极了 360 00:15:58,885 --> 00:16:01,925 ‎我们要做个采访 你知道么 ‎给UTV的 361 00:16:02,005 --> 00:16:03,845 ‎我要上UTV了 菲努拉 362 00:16:03,925 --> 00:16:05,005 ‎少费口舌了 莎拉 363 00:16:05,085 --> 00:16:06,365 ‎不会有免费薯条的 364 00:16:07,165 --> 00:16:08,645 ‎就连要钱的薯条也没有了 365 00:16:08,765 --> 00:16:09,645 ‎什么? 366 00:16:09,725 --> 00:16:12,445 ‎你想让我在周五做什么? ‎菲努拉?做菜吗? 367 00:16:12,525 --> 00:16:13,485 ‎你打算让我去做菜? 368 00:16:13,885 --> 00:16:14,925 ‎你可以点一个比萨 369 00:16:15,005 --> 00:16:16,725 ‎-比萨没那么好吃 ‎-不 370 00:16:17,045 --> 00:16:20,125 ‎你说得对 欧拉 比萨确实没那么好吃 371 00:16:20,285 --> 00:16:22,005 ‎也许你们应该都想一想这点 372 00:16:23,765 --> 00:16:25,245 ‎就没有挽回的余地了吗? 373 00:16:27,085 --> 00:16:28,365 ‎(菲努拉的炸鱼薯条) 374 00:16:28,445 --> 00:16:29,525 ‎(关门中) 375 00:16:29,605 --> 00:16:31,485 ‎所以 我们不仅没去成巴黎 376 00:16:31,565 --> 00:16:34,325 ‎我们还要花上整个星期天 ‎免费为菲努拉他妈的鱼店打扫 377 00:16:34,405 --> 00:16:37,445 ‎嗯 她很快就要做完瑜伽回来了 ‎所以动作快点 378 00:16:37,525 --> 00:16:38,845 ‎这是奴隶活 艾琳 379 00:16:38,925 --> 00:16:40,565 ‎这比奴隶活还糟糕 380 00:16:40,645 --> 00:16:41,845 ‎我们没钱赚 381 00:16:41,925 --> 00:16:43,845 ‎听着 妈咪总得做个交易吧 382 00:16:43,925 --> 00:16:46,525 ‎没有油炸食物的生活有这么糟吗? 383 00:16:46,805 --> 00:16:47,645 ‎有啊! 384 00:16:48,565 --> 00:16:50,445 ‎她不应该真禁了我们 ‎她肯定是在虚张声势 385 00:16:50,525 --> 00:16:52,045 ‎她没在虚张声势 米歇尔 386 00:16:52,125 --> 00:16:54,805 ‎-她不是禁了麦格维根双胞胎? ‎-认真的? 387 00:16:54,885 --> 00:16:56,805 ‎当然了 ‎那是他们减了这么多体重的原因 388 00:16:57,805 --> 00:17:00,005 ‎好了 姐妹们 别再乱搞了 389 00:17:02,485 --> 00:17:05,205 ‎离开的时候 ‎我们要把这里弄得一尘不染 390 00:17:43,165 --> 00:17:44,485 ‎去他妈的这玩意 391 00:17:54,805 --> 00:17:57,125 ‎这...依旧很黏 392 00:17:58,125 --> 00:18:01,405 ‎哦...哦 你们几个 这依旧很黏 393 00:18:02,205 --> 00:18:04,325 ‎是不是比我们开始前还糟? 394 00:18:06,645 --> 00:18:08,285 ‎我觉得可能确实如此 395 00:18:08,805 --> 00:18:10,725 ‎-太好了 ‎-哦 我明白了 396 00:18:11,285 --> 00:18:13,965 ‎是啊 这不是清洁剂 397 00:18:14,045 --> 00:18:15,165 ‎这是... 398 00:18:16,205 --> 00:18:17,445 ‎这是蛋黄酱 399 00:18:18,085 --> 00:18:19,245 ‎干得好 伙计们 400 00:18:20,045 --> 00:18:21,885 ‎简直太棒了 401 00:18:22,205 --> 00:18:23,605 ‎做得好 各位! 402 00:18:23,965 --> 00:18:26,245 ‎真是一个有效率的早晨! 403 00:18:26,525 --> 00:18:29,085 ‎菲努拉肯定会激动死的! 404 00:18:52,805 --> 00:18:53,965 ‎嗯? 405 00:18:56,525 --> 00:18:58,485 ‎-差劲! ‎-这些你是哪里弄来的? 406 00:18:58,565 --> 00:18:59,645 ‎菲努拉的橱柜里 407 00:19:00,005 --> 00:19:01,805 ‎我想她可能有点酗酒方面的问题 408 00:19:01,885 --> 00:19:04,485 ‎你认为菲努拉可能有些问题? 409 00:19:04,725 --> 00:19:07,045 ‎把这都放好 马上下楼来! 410 00:19:07,125 --> 00:19:08,365 ‎你们坐下来 喝点小酒先 411 00:19:08,445 --> 00:19:09,965 ‎不 米歇尔 这是不对的! 412 00:19:10,045 --> 00:19:11,205 ‎你穿的裤子也不对 克莱尔 413 00:19:11,285 --> 00:19:13,125 ‎但这并没有阻止你今早把它们穿上 414 00:19:14,165 --> 00:19:15,125 ‎等着看... 415 00:19:18,325 --> 00:19:21,165 ‎-米歇尔! ‎-别做一群胆小鬼! 416 00:19:23,285 --> 00:19:25,245 ‎干杯 混蛋们! 417 00:19:25,325 --> 00:19:27,285 ‎-不不不! ‎-操操操! 418 00:19:40,165 --> 00:19:43,885 ‎你这是在泼酒吗? ‎你真是要火上加酒吗? 419 00:19:43,965 --> 00:19:46,285 ‎还有以上帝之名啊 ‎你到底在做什么?加料吗? 420 00:20:06,965 --> 00:20:07,805 ‎哇 421 00:20:08,645 --> 00:20:10,405 ‎从一到十 422 00:20:10,485 --> 00:20:12,045 ‎你们觉得我们到底有多死? 423 00:20:15,125 --> 00:20:17,605 ‎另外一个人... ‎好吧 反正是两者之一 424 00:20:17,685 --> 00:20:19,765 ‎不管怎样 他对我说 他说... 425 00:20:20,405 --> 00:20:21,365 ‎是真的 妈咪 426 00:20:21,445 --> 00:20:24,285 ‎艾琳 如果你觉得我会相信 ‎米歇尔拿着香薰蜡烛 427 00:20:24,365 --> 00:20:26,045 ‎然后被绊倒了 428 00:20:26,245 --> 00:20:27,605 ‎你肯定是认为我是三岁小孩 429 00:20:27,685 --> 00:20:30,565 ‎我的叔叔至今还觉得很困难... 430 00:20:30,645 --> 00:20:32,565 ‎到我那段了!到我那段了! 431 00:20:32,645 --> 00:20:33,885 ‎我们要怎么办? 432 00:20:33,965 --> 00:20:36,485 ‎哦天啊 玛丽 你不看一眼吗? 433 00:20:36,565 --> 00:20:38,045 ‎你要错过我的重要时刻了 434 00:20:38,125 --> 00:20:42,605 ‎两个身高相仿的持枪男子 ‎踢开了他的门 435 00:20:42,685 --> 00:20:46,205 ‎用他自己的鞋带 ‎把他绑在了暖气片上 436 00:20:46,285 --> 00:20:49,805 ‎这些鞋带他刚买了一个礼拜 约翰 437 00:20:49,885 --> 00:20:51,885 ‎他们以暴力威胁他 438 00:20:52,565 --> 00:20:56,925 ‎他们威胁要烧掉他的房子 ‎然后强迫他... 439 00:21:06,245 --> 00:21:08,805 ‎为什么会有持枪男子 ‎闯到炸鱼薯条店来? 440 00:21:10,005 --> 00:21:10,885 ‎好痛呀! 441 00:21:10,965 --> 00:21:12,005 ‎你这是个娘炮! 442 00:21:12,085 --> 00:21:13,125 ‎他们要找什么? 443 00:21:13,205 --> 00:21:14,565 ‎当然是薯条了 444 00:21:14,645 --> 00:21:17,125 ‎他们在找厢车的钥匙 记牢了 艾琳 445 00:21:17,205 --> 00:21:19,005 ‎你觉得我们应该稍微打他们一顿吗? 446 00:21:19,805 --> 00:21:22,725 ‎-不要! ‎-不用很严重的 扇几巴掌就可以 447 00:21:22,805 --> 00:21:23,965 ‎我说了不要了 莎拉! 448 00:21:24,045 --> 00:21:26,045 ‎真的吗?这个小基佬也不打吗? 449 00:21:26,125 --> 00:21:27,605 ‎-我不搞基 ‎-好吧 450 00:21:27,965 --> 00:21:29,845 ‎这样差不多了 准备好了? 451 00:21:29,965 --> 00:21:32,045 ‎我也不想老是太主意健康和安全 452 00:21:32,125 --> 00:21:35,205 ‎但你们不是真打算要 ‎就这样把我们留在这里吧? 453 00:21:37,885 --> 00:21:40,125 ‎后门! 454 00:21:57,485 --> 00:21:59,725 ‎-推啊! ‎-我在推了! 455 00:21:59,805 --> 00:22:02,445 ‎-拉! ‎-锁住了! 456 00:22:08,085 --> 00:22:10,525 ‎这他妈到底是怎么回事? 457 00:22:10,845 --> 00:22:12,125 ‎好吧... 458 00:22:12,605 --> 00:22:14,765 ‎嗯 那个... 459 00:22:15,405 --> 00:22:18,085 ‎这个嘛 事情是这样... 460 00:22:18,965 --> 00:22:21,485 ‎米歇尔当时拿着香薰蜡烛... 461 00:22:25,325 --> 00:22:26,845 ‎我就说这没那么好吃