1 00:00:15,480 --> 00:00:17,480 [theme music playing] 2 00:00:20,000 --> 00:00:22,440 [Erin] That summer was a remarkable one. 3 00:00:22,520 --> 00:00:25,080 It was the summer we dared to dream. 4 00:00:25,160 --> 00:00:28,560 For generations, we'd known nothing but violence, 5 00:00:28,640 --> 00:00:30,680 nothing but hatred, 6 00:00:30,760 --> 00:00:33,760 but finally, we were saying enough is enough. 7 00:00:33,840 --> 00:00:37,119 Finally, we were saying let's give peace a chance. 8 00:00:37,200 --> 00:00:38,840 -She's up here. -Jesus Christ. 9 00:00:38,920 --> 00:00:41,120 She's pretending she's on Parkinson again. 10 00:00:41,200 --> 00:00:42,720 [Ma Mary] Parkinson? Does she know what time it is? 11 00:00:42,800 --> 00:00:45,040 I'll Parkinson her. I've enough on my plate without Parkinson. 12 00:00:45,120 --> 00:00:46,440 Close the door. 13 00:00:47,640 --> 00:00:51,440 No, Orla. Leave, then close the door. 14 00:00:54,560 --> 00:00:58,200 -[door closes] -And it was Wogan, for your information. 15 00:00:59,400 --> 00:01:01,400 [theme music playing] 16 00:01:05,800 --> 00:01:08,800 For the love of God, don't forget your waterproof trousers. 17 00:01:08,880 --> 00:01:11,080 Nearly bloody bankrupted us. 18 00:01:11,160 --> 00:01:13,720 Do the Protestants have to bring waterproof trousers, 19 00:01:13,800 --> 00:01:16,280 or will the Catholics be expected to do all the dirty work? 20 00:01:16,360 --> 00:01:18,840 It's not dirty work. It's an outdoor pursuits weekend. 21 00:01:18,920 --> 00:01:20,560 Thought you said you were building bridges. 22 00:01:20,640 --> 00:01:23,680 Not real bridges, Mammy. Metaphorical bridges. 23 00:01:23,760 --> 00:01:26,320 Then why can't you wear metaphorical trousers? 24 00:01:26,400 --> 00:01:28,720 -Will any of your crowd be going, love? -My crowd? 25 00:01:28,840 --> 00:01:31,080 Or can you not get Protestant lesbians? 26 00:01:31,160 --> 00:01:33,120 No, I think you can get them, all right, it's just-- 27 00:01:33,200 --> 00:01:35,600 I heard that k.d. lang on the radio yesterday. 28 00:01:35,720 --> 00:01:38,280 Christ, but she's got some set of pipes on her. 29 00:01:38,360 --> 00:01:40,200 You're very talented people. 30 00:01:40,280 --> 00:01:41,760 -Thank you? -[baby cooing] 31 00:01:41,840 --> 00:01:43,840 Has anyone seen my bow and arrow? 32 00:01:43,920 --> 00:01:46,440 Orla really thrives in the wild, you know. 33 00:01:46,520 --> 00:01:48,480 That time we went camping in Portsalon, 34 00:01:48,560 --> 00:01:51,360 sure she was like Mowgli, running around them woods. 35 00:01:51,440 --> 00:01:52,640 She was that happy, Mary, 36 00:01:52,720 --> 00:01:54,880 I honestly thought about just leaving her there. 37 00:01:54,960 --> 00:01:55,960 Mammy! 38 00:01:56,040 --> 00:01:57,400 [Donna Traynor on TV] Because of government restrictions, 39 00:01:57,480 --> 00:01:59,960 we cannot broadcast the voice of Mr. Adams. 40 00:02:00,080 --> 00:02:01,800 His words are spoken by an actor. 41 00:02:01,880 --> 00:02:03,840 [actor's voice] Well, with respect, and I mean, 42 00:02:03,920 --> 00:02:06,680 -if you're watching... - I'll never understand the point of it. 43 00:02:06,760 --> 00:02:09,000 I'll never understand the point of you. 44 00:02:09,080 --> 00:02:10,520 Grand so. 45 00:02:10,600 --> 00:02:11,720 -[doorbell rings] -I'll go. 46 00:02:11,840 --> 00:02:17,000 ...both agree about the need to see an end to all acts of violence. 47 00:02:17,080 --> 00:02:18,480 I want to see that. 48 00:02:18,560 --> 00:02:22,080 It's because his natural voice is actually very seductive. 49 00:02:22,160 --> 00:02:25,320 Apparently, he sounds like a West Belfast Bond. 50 00:02:25,400 --> 00:02:29,880 As far as English are concerned, a voice like that, well, it's dangerous. 51 00:02:29,960 --> 00:02:32,800 Just so I'm clear, are you saying that the British government 52 00:02:32,880 --> 00:02:35,720 dub the voice of Gerry Adams because it's too sexy? 53 00:02:35,800 --> 00:02:37,480 It's like a fine whiskey. 54 00:02:37,560 --> 00:02:40,040 And I have it on good authority, boy. 55 00:02:40,160 --> 00:02:41,440 OK. 56 00:02:41,520 --> 00:02:43,480 -Fuck-a-doodle-doo. -Hi. 57 00:02:43,560 --> 00:02:45,840 Bet that's what he said when he was nabbed. 58 00:02:45,960 --> 00:02:48,240 -When who got nabbed? -[Michelle] Have you not heard? 59 00:02:48,320 --> 00:02:50,200 You know your man, floppy hair, English, 60 00:02:50,280 --> 00:02:52,480 he's all, "Fuck-a-doodle this, fuck-a-doodle-that." 61 00:02:52,560 --> 00:02:54,160 He's flat out going to weddings with his mates, 62 00:02:54,240 --> 00:02:56,080 until one of them, the fat beardy one in the skirt, 63 00:02:56,160 --> 00:02:57,320 until he croaks it and they're all, 64 00:02:57,400 --> 00:03:00,800 "We need to show this man a bit of respect here. Let's stop all the clocks." 65 00:03:00,880 --> 00:03:02,520 He goes with your woman. You know her. 66 00:03:02,640 --> 00:03:05,760 She's a total ride, but she paper-clips her frocks together. 67 00:03:05,840 --> 00:03:09,120 Well, he was caught getting down and dirty 68 00:03:09,200 --> 00:03:11,160 with some hooker in the back of his BMW. 69 00:03:11,240 --> 00:03:13,640 [laughs] Dark horse or what? 70 00:03:13,720 --> 00:03:14,960 Good morning, Michelle. 71 00:03:15,040 --> 00:03:16,440 I am buzzing for this weekend. 72 00:03:16,520 --> 00:03:18,760 Them waterproof trousers do wonders for my hole. 73 00:03:18,840 --> 00:03:20,920 Mine are pink. They're bright pink. 74 00:03:21,000 --> 00:03:22,920 They were two for one, James. Stop crying. 75 00:03:23,000 --> 00:03:24,880 -Two for one? Where? -Kays Catalogue. 76 00:03:24,960 --> 00:03:27,120 -Oh, my mammy said to tell you-- -Her big bowl. 77 00:03:27,200 --> 00:03:29,520 I know, I know, I keep forgetting. I'll drop it 'round today. 78 00:03:29,600 --> 00:03:31,120 No, she said to hang on to it. 79 00:03:32,200 --> 00:03:35,240 What? She doesn't want her big bowl back? 80 00:03:35,320 --> 00:03:37,440 But why? There's nothing wrong with that bowl. 81 00:03:37,520 --> 00:03:39,800 Sure, I was admiring that bowl only yesterday. 82 00:03:39,880 --> 00:03:42,480 -It's a grand bowl. -I'm just a messenger, folks. 83 00:03:42,560 --> 00:03:44,520 -Aye. -We need to shift ourselves. 84 00:03:46,920 --> 00:03:49,760 Listen, wains. I've already said this to Erin. 85 00:03:49,840 --> 00:03:50,960 Mammy, please. 86 00:03:51,040 --> 00:03:54,120 No funny business with these Protestant lads. Is that clear? 87 00:03:54,200 --> 00:03:57,040 I don't want anybody landing back here pregnant. 88 00:03:57,120 --> 00:03:58,840 Not very likely in my case. 89 00:03:58,920 --> 00:04:00,320 I wouldn't rule it out, son. 90 00:04:00,400 --> 00:04:02,880 Teenage boys can be very convincing, Erin. 91 00:04:02,960 --> 00:04:05,560 -I remember your father at that age-- -End that sentence now. 92 00:04:05,640 --> 00:04:08,040 -Yes, please do. -Creep. 93 00:04:08,120 --> 00:04:10,840 We're not doing this to get off with Protestant boys, Mammy. 94 00:04:10,960 --> 00:04:12,920 We're doing this to reach across the divide. 95 00:04:13,000 --> 00:04:15,160 -Did your mother get a new big bowl? -I don't think so. 96 00:04:15,240 --> 00:04:17,440 -We're doing this for peace-- -All right, Erin. 97 00:04:17,520 --> 00:04:19,760 No need to make a big song and dance about it. 98 00:04:19,840 --> 00:04:22,000 [reggae music playing] 99 00:04:25,200 --> 00:04:27,160 We're doing it for peace, all right, Mary. 100 00:04:27,240 --> 00:04:30,120 A piece of that fine Protestant ass. [laughs] 101 00:04:30,200 --> 00:04:32,320 God, you are such a hypocrite, Erin. 102 00:04:32,400 --> 00:04:33,600 No, I'm not. 103 00:04:33,680 --> 00:04:36,360 I just don't think there's anything wrong with some cross-community... 104 00:04:36,440 --> 00:04:37,600 -Fiddling. -...relations. 105 00:04:37,720 --> 00:04:40,840 So, we need to head southeast for 0.5 miles, 106 00:04:40,920 --> 00:04:43,440 and you'll receive further instructions shortly. 107 00:04:43,560 --> 00:04:46,120 We haven't even left the estate yet, Orla. 108 00:04:46,200 --> 00:04:48,960 These Prods have got some serious moves up their sleeves, you know. 109 00:04:49,040 --> 00:04:51,160 They're not as fucked up about sex as we are. 110 00:04:51,240 --> 00:04:53,520 They put the work in. They know what they're doing. 111 00:04:53,600 --> 00:04:56,000 [scoffs] They're people, Michelle. They're not sex toys. 112 00:04:56,080 --> 00:04:57,120 I beg to differ. 113 00:04:57,240 --> 00:04:59,840 I'm really looking forward to making friends with some lads. 114 00:04:59,920 --> 00:05:01,680 Lads aren't going to make friends with you, James. 115 00:05:01,760 --> 00:05:03,280 Lads make friends with other lads. 116 00:05:03,360 --> 00:05:05,760 -I am a lad. -[laughs] So you are, James. 117 00:05:05,840 --> 00:05:07,320 OK, how much money do we have? 118 00:05:07,400 --> 00:05:09,080 Look, the riding of the Protestants is one thing, 119 00:05:09,160 --> 00:05:11,080 but I don't see why we have to buy them a present. 120 00:05:11,160 --> 00:05:13,920 I mean, they already have all the land, all the jobs and all the fucking rights. 121 00:05:14,000 --> 00:05:15,640 Aye, Michelle, that's definitely the attitude 122 00:05:15,760 --> 00:05:17,520 we should have entering into this weekend. 123 00:05:17,600 --> 00:05:19,840 A present for Protestants? 124 00:05:20,720 --> 00:05:24,880 My next Protestant gift delivery isn't due to arrive until Wednesday, 125 00:05:24,960 --> 00:05:27,200 and as it stands, I'm completely out of stock, 126 00:05:27,280 --> 00:05:29,240 what with there being such a high fucking demand 127 00:05:29,320 --> 00:05:31,040 for that sort of thing around these parts. 128 00:05:31,120 --> 00:05:32,520 That's a shame. 129 00:05:32,600 --> 00:05:34,440 How much for the Subbuteo, Dennis? 130 00:05:34,520 --> 00:05:36,400 We'll call it 16 quid. 131 00:05:36,480 --> 00:05:38,400 Could we call it 1.76? 132 00:05:38,480 --> 00:05:39,680 No, we fucking couldn't. 133 00:05:39,760 --> 00:05:41,640 How about we give you the 1.76, 134 00:05:41,720 --> 00:05:44,040 -and we pay the rest off in installments? -Yeah. 135 00:05:44,160 --> 00:05:46,520 Which would be, what, 3.56 over four weeks. 136 00:05:46,600 --> 00:05:48,320 Jesus, check out Rain Wain. 137 00:05:48,400 --> 00:05:51,640 Or, you could give us the Subbuteo, and then we could work off the debt. 138 00:05:51,720 --> 00:05:53,320 Yeah, we could do chores and stuff. 139 00:05:53,400 --> 00:05:55,000 Chores? What do you think this is? 140 00:05:55,080 --> 00:05:56,640 Little House on the fucking Prairie? 141 00:05:56,720 --> 00:05:58,240 Do you watch Little House on the Prairie, Dennis? 142 00:05:58,320 --> 00:06:00,040 Get out! 143 00:06:02,960 --> 00:06:04,880 Come on, girls, this is embarrassing. 144 00:06:04,960 --> 00:06:07,160 Well, it's all right for you, Clare, but we want to bunk these lads. 145 00:06:07,240 --> 00:06:08,840 We have to offer them some kind of incentive. 146 00:06:08,920 --> 00:06:11,480 They're not prostitutes, Michelle, and even if they were, 147 00:06:11,560 --> 00:06:14,200 I think a half-eaten packet of Rolos and an Ulster Bank keyring 148 00:06:14,280 --> 00:06:15,920 is a pretty insulting form of payment. 149 00:06:16,000 --> 00:06:17,200 I have an HB pencil. 150 00:06:17,320 --> 00:06:18,320 Happy days. 151 00:06:18,400 --> 00:06:20,240 Hi, guys. 152 00:06:20,320 --> 00:06:23,960 That's... that's not what you're giving to the Protestants, is it? 153 00:06:24,040 --> 00:06:25,320 It's just a little token, really. 154 00:06:25,400 --> 00:06:27,120 Yeah, so is ours. 155 00:06:27,200 --> 00:06:28,400 Is that an Ulster Bank keyring? 156 00:06:28,480 --> 00:06:29,840 It is indeed, yeah. 157 00:06:29,920 --> 00:06:31,960 I must admit, I had a bit of an advantage 158 00:06:32,040 --> 00:06:34,600 when it came to the whole present buying thing, because-- 159 00:06:34,680 --> 00:06:37,080 -You're loaded. -Because I know what they like. 160 00:06:37,160 --> 00:06:40,400 I happen to be very good friends with a half-Protestant. 161 00:06:40,480 --> 00:06:42,080 -What? -They don't come in halves, Jenny. 162 00:06:42,160 --> 00:06:44,680 They do, actually. I met her at ballet class. 163 00:06:44,760 --> 00:06:47,480 Her name's Zara, and she has a horse. 164 00:06:47,600 --> 00:06:49,320 Good for Zara. Bye-bye, now. 165 00:06:50,560 --> 00:06:53,240 Of course she's friends with a half-Protestant. Of course she is. 166 00:06:53,320 --> 00:06:55,960 She has been fucking unbearable since them braces came off. 167 00:06:56,040 --> 00:06:57,000 Dose. 168 00:06:57,080 --> 00:06:58,640 Well, I can make friends with a full-Protestant 169 00:06:58,720 --> 00:06:59,760 and see how she likes it. 170 00:06:59,840 --> 00:07:03,000 Zara won't seem quite so impressive next to my thoroughbred, will she, Jenny?! 171 00:07:03,080 --> 00:07:04,120 Relax, Clare. 172 00:07:04,240 --> 00:07:05,920 Why has she got so much money anyway? 173 00:07:06,000 --> 00:07:07,840 Who's her dad? Pierce fucking Brosnan? 174 00:07:07,920 --> 00:07:11,000 He's a surgeon over at Altnagelvin. He took Orla's tonsils out. 175 00:07:11,080 --> 00:07:13,760 And not a day goes by when I don't think about them. 176 00:07:13,840 --> 00:07:16,880 [girls chanting] Give peace a chance! Give peace a chance! 177 00:07:16,960 --> 00:07:20,040 Give peace a chance! Give peace a chance! 178 00:07:20,120 --> 00:07:21,480 Give peace a chance! 179 00:07:21,560 --> 00:07:24,520 No hate! No hate! Let's integrate! 180 00:07:25,680 --> 00:07:27,000 Yay! 181 00:07:27,080 --> 00:07:28,640 -[girls chanting] Give peace a chance! -Kill me. 182 00:07:28,720 --> 00:07:31,280 [girls chanting] Give peace a chance! Give peace a chance! 183 00:07:32,320 --> 00:07:34,400 The Prods have landed. 184 00:07:34,520 --> 00:07:36,520 [rock music playing] 185 00:07:49,160 --> 00:07:51,320 Single file. 186 00:07:54,080 --> 00:07:55,720 You must be Ms. Turner. 187 00:07:55,800 --> 00:07:58,600 That's right. Well, Janet. 188 00:07:58,680 --> 00:08:01,720 Michael. Sister Michael. 189 00:08:01,840 --> 00:08:03,800 -It's a pleasure. -I know. 190 00:08:05,080 --> 00:08:06,440 -Move it. -Shift it. 191 00:08:06,520 --> 00:08:08,800 [kids chatting] 192 00:08:08,880 --> 00:08:12,240 Why is everyone so desperate for them to mix? 193 00:08:12,320 --> 00:08:14,640 I think we should keep them separate. 194 00:08:14,720 --> 00:08:17,440 I think we should keep them in cages. 195 00:08:18,840 --> 00:08:22,120 So, Our Lady Immaculate girls have been split into groups, 196 00:08:22,200 --> 00:08:23,560 A through to F, 197 00:08:23,640 --> 00:08:26,400 as have the Londonderry Boys Academy. 198 00:08:26,480 --> 00:08:29,880 [Ms. Turner] We'd like to As to find As, Bs to find Bs, 199 00:08:29,960 --> 00:08:33,360 et cetera and so on. It's very straightforward. 200 00:08:33,440 --> 00:08:37,280 However, if that isn't clear, feel free to say so. 201 00:08:37,360 --> 00:08:39,799 But know that you will be judged. 202 00:08:41,679 --> 00:08:44,200 Oh, lads, you really shouldn't have. 203 00:08:44,280 --> 00:08:46,080 I'm starting to see that, all right. 204 00:08:47,440 --> 00:08:50,280 I'm going to keep mine on my bed, where I sleep, 205 00:08:50,360 --> 00:08:53,280 -in me knickers. -Right. 206 00:08:53,360 --> 00:08:56,040 I mean, these are free, for a start. My dad has, like, 45 of them. 207 00:08:56,120 --> 00:08:59,160 We were told it was an all-girls school. You've been a bit short-changed there. 208 00:08:59,240 --> 00:09:00,600 [James] Nah, it's fine, mate. 209 00:09:00,680 --> 00:09:02,720 It's all good, man. I-- 210 00:09:02,800 --> 00:09:05,640 -I'll just give it to my bird. -Your bird? 211 00:09:05,720 --> 00:09:07,440 Yeah, she's really... 212 00:09:07,520 --> 00:09:09,880 fit and stuff. 213 00:09:09,960 --> 00:09:11,840 Right, OK. Great. 214 00:09:12,960 --> 00:09:15,400 I'm sorry, but is he OK? 215 00:09:15,480 --> 00:09:17,520 Philip's actually deaf. 216 00:09:17,600 --> 00:09:19,080 -Oh. -In one ear. 217 00:09:19,160 --> 00:09:21,360 -[Clare] He's deaf in one ear? -That's right. 218 00:09:21,440 --> 00:09:22,640 Which ear? 219 00:09:22,720 --> 00:09:24,680 That's actually a very inappropriate question. 220 00:09:24,800 --> 00:09:26,680 -Is it? -It is, yeah. 221 00:09:26,800 --> 00:09:29,720 [Protestant boy] Oh, my God! This is the best present ever! 222 00:09:29,800 --> 00:09:31,840 Oh, you guys. 223 00:09:31,920 --> 00:09:33,840 Rolo, anyone? 224 00:09:33,920 --> 00:09:36,160 [Sister Michael] OK, listen up, people. 225 00:09:36,240 --> 00:09:38,360 According to this, you're going to need a... 226 00:09:38,480 --> 00:09:42,040 well, they use the term "buddy," 227 00:09:42,120 --> 00:09:44,040 for tomorrow's activities. 228 00:09:44,120 --> 00:09:45,160 I bagsie Harry. 229 00:09:45,240 --> 00:09:47,640 What? But that's not fair. He's the only good-looking one. 230 00:09:47,720 --> 00:09:49,480 The rest of us are right here. 231 00:09:49,560 --> 00:09:51,080 You snooze, you lose, Erin. 232 00:09:51,200 --> 00:09:53,840 -I suppose I'll have you, then. -Aren't you a charmer? 233 00:09:53,920 --> 00:09:56,280 So, should us two bad bastards hook up or what? 234 00:09:56,360 --> 00:09:59,440 -I'm sorry? -Um, will you be my buddy, please? 235 00:09:59,520 --> 00:10:01,240 Sure. 236 00:10:01,320 --> 00:10:03,560 Listen, Philip, about the whole "which ear" thing-- 237 00:10:03,640 --> 00:10:05,640 It's fine. I'll be your partner. 238 00:10:05,720 --> 00:10:08,200 Great! Um, just to be clear, 239 00:10:08,280 --> 00:10:10,480 are you a fully blown Protestant? 240 00:10:10,560 --> 00:10:11,560 Of course. 241 00:10:11,680 --> 00:10:12,680 Oh! 242 00:10:13,840 --> 00:10:16,200 Sister Michael, I don't have a Protestant. 243 00:10:16,280 --> 00:10:18,680 -You'll have to share with James. -[James] What? No. 244 00:10:18,760 --> 00:10:20,920 Look, there just aren't enough Protestants to go 'round. 245 00:10:22,120 --> 00:10:24,160 The mediator is here. 246 00:10:24,240 --> 00:10:27,480 He's... one of your lot. 247 00:10:27,560 --> 00:10:30,280 Not a priest. Ugh. 248 00:10:30,360 --> 00:10:32,240 Quite young. Southern. 249 00:10:32,320 --> 00:10:36,480 Bit of an arsehole, but oh, my God, amazing hair. 250 00:10:37,600 --> 00:10:40,120 Oh, for feck's sake. 251 00:10:40,200 --> 00:10:43,360 ♪ Sharp, so sharp... ♪ 252 00:10:43,440 --> 00:10:47,640 OK. So, I see a few familiar faces out there. 253 00:10:47,720 --> 00:10:50,360 As some of you may know, I took a bit of a sabbatical last year. 254 00:10:50,440 --> 00:10:52,360 Do you mean when you shacked up with a slutty hairdresser, 255 00:10:52,440 --> 00:10:55,040 -but then she dumped you? -Miss Mallon, please. 256 00:10:55,120 --> 00:10:57,600 Raise your hand if you want to ask a question. 257 00:10:57,680 --> 00:11:00,320 OK, I think we should just move on. 258 00:11:00,400 --> 00:11:02,000 The hairdresser certainly did. 259 00:11:02,080 --> 00:11:06,160 OK, so, this is just a little exercise 260 00:11:06,240 --> 00:11:08,800 -I like to kick off with. -Oh, give me strength. 261 00:11:08,880 --> 00:11:11,520 I want you guys to give me examples of things 262 00:11:11,600 --> 00:11:14,440 that Catholics and Protestants have in common, 263 00:11:14,520 --> 00:11:16,560 and things that they don't have in common. 264 00:11:16,640 --> 00:11:18,200 Let's start with similarities. 265 00:11:18,280 --> 00:11:20,280 Erin, why don't you get the ball rolling? 266 00:11:20,360 --> 00:11:23,760 OK. So, we both... 267 00:11:23,840 --> 00:11:26,800 Right. So, we all... 268 00:11:28,160 --> 00:11:31,080 Oh, this is actually quite hard. 269 00:11:31,160 --> 00:11:32,440 Anything at all. A small thing, even. 270 00:11:32,520 --> 00:11:35,200 OK. So, right. 271 00:11:37,720 --> 00:11:40,480 I'm actually drawing a blank here, to be honest. 272 00:11:40,600 --> 00:11:42,240 Not to worry. Someone else. 273 00:11:42,320 --> 00:11:43,760 A similarity. Yes? 274 00:11:43,840 --> 00:11:46,560 Protestants are British and Catholics are Irish. 275 00:11:46,640 --> 00:11:48,240 That's actually a difference. 276 00:11:48,360 --> 00:11:50,800 Quite a... well, quite a big difference. 277 00:11:50,880 --> 00:11:53,400 But that's OK. We can write that down. 278 00:11:54,840 --> 00:11:58,400 Now, back to similarities. Yes? 279 00:11:58,480 --> 00:11:59,720 Protestants are richer. 280 00:11:59,800 --> 00:12:02,440 OK, so that's another difference, 281 00:12:02,520 --> 00:12:04,640 and I'm not sure that's actually... 282 00:12:04,720 --> 00:12:05,880 I mean, is that true? 283 00:12:06,000 --> 00:12:07,200 I would say so. 284 00:12:07,280 --> 00:12:09,600 Mm, yeah, I suppose that's fair enough. 285 00:12:09,680 --> 00:12:11,520 Yes, great. Off you go. 286 00:12:11,600 --> 00:12:14,160 Catholics really buzz off statues and we don't so much. 287 00:12:14,480 --> 00:12:17,040 I do enjoy a good statue, it has to be said. 288 00:12:17,560 --> 00:12:20,800 So, again, what we have there is a difference. 289 00:12:20,880 --> 00:12:24,920 Oh, Protestants like to march and Catholics like to walk. 290 00:12:25,000 --> 00:12:26,960 OK, can we just-- Jenny, could you just-- 291 00:12:27,040 --> 00:12:29,120 Oh, you've already written it down, have you? 292 00:12:29,200 --> 00:12:31,000 Great, thank you, Jenny. 293 00:12:31,080 --> 00:12:36,200 I just want to pause and think about what's in here. 294 00:12:38,000 --> 00:12:40,160 What about the fact that we all feel, 295 00:12:40,240 --> 00:12:41,880 and love, 296 00:12:41,960 --> 00:12:43,640 and hope, and-- 297 00:12:44,000 --> 00:12:45,800 write this down-- 298 00:12:45,960 --> 00:12:48,000 we all cry. 299 00:12:48,080 --> 00:12:51,400 We all laugh. We all dream. 300 00:12:51,480 --> 00:12:55,200 So I just want to think along those lines for a moment. 301 00:12:56,120 --> 00:12:57,200 OK. 302 00:12:57,280 --> 00:12:58,680 [boy] Catholics watch RTE. 303 00:12:58,760 --> 00:12:59,800 [girl 1] Protestants love cleaning. 304 00:12:59,880 --> 00:13:00,920 [girl 2] Protestants are taller. 305 00:13:01,000 --> 00:13:02,200 Catholics have more freckles. 306 00:13:02,280 --> 00:13:04,120 Protestants hate ABBA. 307 00:13:04,200 --> 00:13:05,360 OK, thank you. 308 00:13:06,320 --> 00:13:09,200 Let me just rephrase slightly. 309 00:13:09,280 --> 00:13:13,080 Can you think of anything 310 00:13:13,160 --> 00:13:16,440 that unites every single person in this room? 311 00:13:17,480 --> 00:13:19,040 [kid coughs] 312 00:13:19,120 --> 00:13:21,280 Is there anything that we all want? 313 00:13:21,360 --> 00:13:23,040 For this to be over. 314 00:13:23,120 --> 00:13:25,320 And we'll wrap it up there. 315 00:13:25,400 --> 00:13:27,440 [electronic music playing] 316 00:13:33,400 --> 00:13:34,760 I'm not sure about this. 317 00:13:34,840 --> 00:13:36,000 I knew you'd fanny out. 318 00:13:36,080 --> 00:13:38,520 These lads have moves, you said so yourself, Michelle. 319 00:13:38,640 --> 00:13:39,640 I haven't got any moves. 320 00:13:39,720 --> 00:13:41,440 Look, let's just get in there, have a few drinks 321 00:13:41,560 --> 00:13:42,680 and just loosen up a bit. 322 00:13:42,760 --> 00:13:45,600 No! No loosening up. I don't like it. 323 00:13:45,680 --> 00:13:47,680 Just be confident, Erin. Boys like that. 324 00:13:47,760 --> 00:13:49,520 [Michelle] How the fuck would you know what boys like? 325 00:13:49,600 --> 00:13:52,160 Because I'm a boy, Michelle. I'm a real live boy. 326 00:13:52,280 --> 00:13:54,720 Oh, yeah, like Pinocchio. 327 00:13:54,800 --> 00:13:56,240 [door creaks] 328 00:13:59,200 --> 00:14:00,280 [exhales] 329 00:14:00,360 --> 00:14:01,480 OK. 330 00:14:01,560 --> 00:14:04,440 Listen, be sexy, OK? 331 00:14:04,520 --> 00:14:05,600 Sexy. Right. 332 00:14:07,520 --> 00:14:08,880 [Michelle clears throat] 333 00:14:08,960 --> 00:14:12,520 I said be sexy, not be a fucking blowfish, Erin. 334 00:14:19,680 --> 00:14:20,880 Hello, mate. 335 00:14:20,960 --> 00:14:23,080 We heard you boys are having a party. 336 00:14:23,160 --> 00:14:25,000 -No. -Well, you are now. 337 00:14:25,080 --> 00:14:27,640 ♪ Uh-oh, we're in trouble ♪ 338 00:14:27,720 --> 00:14:31,280 ♪ Something's come along And it's burst our bubble ♪ 339 00:14:31,400 --> 00:14:33,400 ♪ Yeah, yeah Uh-oh ♪ 340 00:14:34,480 --> 00:14:36,600 ♪ Move a step closer ♪ 341 00:14:36,680 --> 00:14:38,600 ♪ You know that I want you ♪ 342 00:14:38,680 --> 00:14:39,680 ♪ I can tell by... ♪ 343 00:14:39,760 --> 00:14:41,560 I really like this one. Have you seen the video-- 344 00:14:41,640 --> 00:14:43,120 OK, let's cut the crap, Dee. 345 00:14:43,200 --> 00:14:45,000 -Sorry? -You know why I'm here. 346 00:14:45,080 --> 00:14:46,680 -But before we begin-- -Begin what? 347 00:14:46,760 --> 00:14:49,360 I won't have as many moves as you. I just want to get that out there. 348 00:14:49,440 --> 00:14:51,400 I really don't know-- 349 00:14:51,480 --> 00:14:53,960 I haven't put the hours in, and that's not because I'm lazy, 350 00:14:54,040 --> 00:14:55,760 it's just not part of our culture. 351 00:14:55,840 --> 00:14:58,280 But if you're OK with that, I'd say we just crack on. 352 00:14:59,400 --> 00:15:01,080 [crunches] 353 00:15:02,000 --> 00:15:03,480 Fancy another beer, mate? 354 00:15:03,560 --> 00:15:05,440 Christ, I just love beer. 355 00:15:05,520 --> 00:15:07,200 Don't you just love beer? 356 00:15:07,280 --> 00:15:08,920 -Yeah, beer's nice. -I love beer 357 00:15:09,000 --> 00:15:11,720 and football and poker, and, you know, tits. 358 00:15:11,800 --> 00:15:13,360 -Tits? -Can't get enough of them. 359 00:15:13,440 --> 00:15:14,720 Then again, I am a lad. 360 00:15:14,800 --> 00:15:15,880 Yeah, he may be a lad, Jon, 361 00:15:15,960 --> 00:15:18,240 but I can offer you protection. 362 00:15:18,320 --> 00:15:20,040 I have a hunting knife. 363 00:15:20,120 --> 00:15:21,320 Right, OK. 364 00:15:21,440 --> 00:15:22,720 Oy-oy, where you going? 365 00:15:22,800 --> 00:15:25,520 -[Jon] Nature's calling. -Whoa. Number one or number two? 366 00:15:25,600 --> 00:15:27,680 -Excuse me? -Just answer the question, Jon. 367 00:15:27,760 --> 00:15:30,040 I don't want to answer the question. I'm not comfortable with the question. 368 00:15:30,120 --> 00:15:32,200 'Cause if it's a number two, it's safer to bury it. 369 00:15:32,280 --> 00:15:35,600 You don't want a pack of wolves following your scent out in these parts. 370 00:15:35,680 --> 00:15:38,080 Those boys, they'll tear you limb from limb. 371 00:15:38,160 --> 00:15:41,040 -We're inside. -Very sophisticated noses, Jon. 372 00:15:41,120 --> 00:15:43,440 I'm going to go now. 373 00:15:43,520 --> 00:15:45,720 Can't you let me have anything for myself? 374 00:15:45,840 --> 00:15:46,880 No. 375 00:15:49,320 --> 00:15:51,800 [chuckles, clears throat] 376 00:15:53,120 --> 00:15:56,000 Do you want to go somewhere a bit more private? 377 00:15:56,080 --> 00:15:57,280 [chuckles] 378 00:15:58,440 --> 00:16:00,200 I'm not sure that's a good idea. 379 00:16:01,160 --> 00:16:02,200 Why not? 380 00:16:05,920 --> 00:16:07,040 What the fuck's that? 381 00:16:07,120 --> 00:16:09,080 And, I think the reason I was interested 382 00:16:09,160 --> 00:16:11,320 in whether you were a fully blown Protestant 383 00:16:11,400 --> 00:16:14,520 is because, as far as I'm concerned, you can't be Protestant enough. 384 00:16:14,600 --> 00:16:17,680 I am all for the Protestants. I can't get enough of them. 385 00:16:17,760 --> 00:16:20,280 Protestant mad, I am, and I think-- 386 00:16:20,360 --> 00:16:23,120 and I may be running with this-- but I'm sure you really like Catholics. 387 00:16:23,200 --> 00:16:24,880 It's just that we have been conditioned to-- 388 00:16:24,960 --> 00:16:28,120 -I don't. -What? You don't? 389 00:16:28,200 --> 00:16:31,400 No. I hate them. I think they're all arseholes. 390 00:16:31,480 --> 00:16:34,360 That's not true. That can't be true. 391 00:16:34,440 --> 00:16:38,560 It is. They're all thick as shit. I despise them. I really do. 392 00:16:38,640 --> 00:16:40,520 OK. 393 00:16:40,600 --> 00:16:44,000 So, how do you want to do this? 394 00:16:44,080 --> 00:16:48,200 Do you want to kick things off, or should I? 395 00:16:48,320 --> 00:16:51,040 Oh, my God, are you coming on to me?! 396 00:16:51,120 --> 00:16:52,920 Is that what this is? 397 00:16:53,000 --> 00:16:54,800 I thought you were having some sort of breakdown. 398 00:16:54,880 --> 00:16:56,680 [running footsteps] 399 00:16:59,400 --> 00:17:01,040 He's wearing a purity bracelet. 400 00:17:01,120 --> 00:17:02,200 What does that mean? 401 00:17:02,280 --> 00:17:05,120 No down below action, that's what it fucking means. 402 00:17:05,200 --> 00:17:06,640 -We have to swap. -Swap? 403 00:17:06,720 --> 00:17:09,440 Yeah, we'll just swap over. You take Harry, I'll take Lee. 404 00:17:09,520 --> 00:17:10,960 -Dee. -Whatever. 405 00:17:11,040 --> 00:17:12,599 -We can't do that. -Why not? 406 00:17:12,720 --> 00:17:16,040 You fancied him first, and your lack of moves won't be an issue. 407 00:17:16,119 --> 00:17:17,800 -That is true. -Aye. 408 00:17:17,880 --> 00:17:19,440 -She's coming. -Who? 409 00:17:19,560 --> 00:17:21,280 The woman. The small, angry penguin woman. 410 00:17:21,359 --> 00:17:23,040 -Sister Michael! -Shit! 411 00:17:23,119 --> 00:17:25,240 -[bottles clinking] -[panicked groans] 412 00:17:28,599 --> 00:17:29,920 Oh, good evening, Sister. 413 00:17:30,000 --> 00:17:32,920 We just popped 'round because we had a few questions 414 00:17:33,000 --> 00:17:34,240 about the British Empire, 415 00:17:34,320 --> 00:17:36,680 which the boys have cleared up for us now, so-- 416 00:17:36,760 --> 00:17:38,760 They weren't talking about the British Empire, Sister. 417 00:17:38,840 --> 00:17:41,200 They were having a party. I could hear the music. 418 00:17:42,240 --> 00:17:43,840 You will go far in life, Jenny. 419 00:17:44,760 --> 00:17:46,600 But you will not be well liked. 420 00:17:46,680 --> 00:17:48,240 Honestly, girls. 421 00:17:48,320 --> 00:17:50,280 I need my eight hours, 422 00:17:50,360 --> 00:17:53,520 but I've had Mary Quinn on the phone frying my head and now this. 423 00:17:53,600 --> 00:17:54,840 What? 424 00:17:54,920 --> 00:17:56,920 My mother rang? Why, is everything OK? 425 00:17:57,000 --> 00:18:00,280 Oh, she was very distressed. She wanted me to pass on a message. 426 00:18:00,360 --> 00:18:03,200 And are you gonna? 427 00:18:03,280 --> 00:18:05,560 Oh, fine. 428 00:18:05,640 --> 00:18:07,640 Um... [clears throat] 429 00:18:07,720 --> 00:18:10,880 "Erin, I need some information. 430 00:18:10,960 --> 00:18:14,080 Can you find out, in a subtle way, 431 00:18:14,160 --> 00:18:18,000 if Michelle's mother was given the big bowl 432 00:18:18,080 --> 00:18:20,560 by someone she has since fallen out with, 433 00:18:20,640 --> 00:18:24,880 and if she can no longer bring herself to look at the big bowl 434 00:18:25,000 --> 00:18:26,760 because it's just too painful? 435 00:18:26,840 --> 00:18:28,480 All the best, your mother, Mary." 436 00:18:29,880 --> 00:18:31,480 Well? 437 00:18:31,560 --> 00:18:33,000 No. 438 00:18:33,080 --> 00:18:35,080 Shift it. Let's go. 439 00:18:35,160 --> 00:18:37,400 Come on. Quick. 440 00:18:40,120 --> 00:18:41,240 Jenny. 441 00:18:46,320 --> 00:18:48,680 ♪ We're gonna be so good ♪ 442 00:18:51,360 --> 00:18:53,360 ♪ Like only we could... ♪ 443 00:18:53,440 --> 00:18:54,440 What's wrong with Clare? 444 00:18:54,520 --> 00:18:56,280 She hasn't said two words since last night. 445 00:18:56,360 --> 00:18:57,360 Well, I'm not complaining. 446 00:18:58,880 --> 00:19:02,120 I just did it for a laugh, the trousers. 447 00:19:02,200 --> 00:19:05,640 I'll do anything for a laugh, me. I'm mad like that. 448 00:19:05,720 --> 00:19:06,800 Right. 449 00:19:07,240 --> 00:19:08,440 Right, there they are. 450 00:19:08,520 --> 00:19:10,240 OK, if we're going to do this, Michelle, 451 00:19:10,320 --> 00:19:12,320 -we need to do it delicately. -Course. 452 00:19:12,400 --> 00:19:13,720 Oy, lads! 453 00:19:13,800 --> 00:19:15,360 We wanna swap. 454 00:19:15,440 --> 00:19:16,480 Brilliant. 455 00:19:16,560 --> 00:19:18,000 -Swap? -[Michelle] Yeah. 456 00:19:18,080 --> 00:19:21,240 Erin's gonna have Harry now, and I'm gonna have you, all right? 457 00:19:22,400 --> 00:19:23,760 Great stuff. 458 00:19:23,840 --> 00:19:26,040 I think we can all agree that for generations 459 00:19:26,120 --> 00:19:30,400 there's been a deep lack of trust between your communities, 460 00:19:30,520 --> 00:19:32,080 and that's where abseiling comes in. 461 00:19:32,160 --> 00:19:33,200 [mutters] Christ. 462 00:19:33,280 --> 00:19:35,960 Abseiling is a great trust-building exercise, 463 00:19:36,040 --> 00:19:38,880 because what you're doing is, you're saying to your buddy, 464 00:19:38,960 --> 00:19:41,960 "Lean on me, I'm here for you." 465 00:19:42,040 --> 00:19:43,360 Now, let me see who's first. 466 00:19:43,440 --> 00:19:45,840 Ah, Clare. Clare Devlin. There you are. 467 00:19:45,920 --> 00:19:47,440 I-I'm not sure about this. 468 00:19:47,520 --> 00:19:49,080 You'll be grand. 469 00:19:49,160 --> 00:19:51,880 [quivering] No, listen, you don't understand. 470 00:19:52,000 --> 00:19:53,160 Now, where's your buddy? 471 00:19:54,640 --> 00:19:56,680 Good man, yourself. Come on up. 472 00:19:59,640 --> 00:20:01,200 [hawk screeching] 473 00:20:04,520 --> 00:20:06,680 [Father Peter] Philip will control Clare's descent 474 00:20:06,760 --> 00:20:10,040 by feeding her rope through what's known as a belay device. 475 00:20:12,280 --> 00:20:15,600 So he'll be the one actually dictating the speed of her drop. 476 00:20:15,680 --> 00:20:17,720 I think if it's OK I'd just like to take a moment and just-- 477 00:20:17,800 --> 00:20:18,960 Jesus! 478 00:20:19,040 --> 00:20:20,240 [screams] 479 00:20:20,360 --> 00:20:22,480 -Are you ready, Philip? -Oh, yeah. 480 00:20:22,560 --> 00:20:24,720 -[whimpers] -OK, everybody. So, on three... 481 00:20:24,800 --> 00:20:27,720 Seriously, folks, I'm not feeling entirely comfortable with this. 482 00:20:27,800 --> 00:20:29,120 -[Father Peter] One... -[chuckles] 483 00:20:29,200 --> 00:20:30,560 -[Father Peter] Two... -[screams] 484 00:20:30,640 --> 00:20:31,640 Three. 485 00:20:31,720 --> 00:20:33,200 [screams] 486 00:20:33,280 --> 00:20:35,320 Stop! Stop it! Get me out of here! 487 00:20:35,400 --> 00:20:37,200 He's trying to kill me! 488 00:20:37,280 --> 00:20:39,840 He wants to kill us all, all of the Catholics! 489 00:20:39,920 --> 00:20:41,680 Look at his eyes, he's a madman, 490 00:20:41,800 --> 00:20:43,920 a Fenian-hating madman! 491 00:20:44,000 --> 00:20:47,040 Don't let the Jaffa bastard hurt me, please! 492 00:20:47,120 --> 00:20:48,120 [crowd gasps, murmurs] 493 00:20:48,200 --> 00:20:49,560 Jesus, Clare. 494 00:20:49,680 --> 00:20:50,920 Fuck-a-doodle-doo. 495 00:20:51,000 --> 00:20:53,080 -[Clare] He said he hated us. -No, I didn't. 496 00:20:53,160 --> 00:20:56,120 Last night you said you hated Catholics. Admit it. 497 00:20:56,200 --> 00:20:58,640 I said, I hated athletes. 498 00:20:58,720 --> 00:21:00,640 Not much of a sports fan. 499 00:21:00,720 --> 00:21:02,760 But we weren't even talking about athletes. 500 00:21:02,840 --> 00:21:04,360 Yeah, well, I thought we were. 501 00:21:04,440 --> 00:21:07,120 Why would you have thought we were talking about athletes? 502 00:21:07,240 --> 00:21:09,360 Because I'm deaf in one ear. 503 00:21:11,400 --> 00:21:14,080 "Catholics" sounds a bit like "athletes," to be fair to him, like. 504 00:21:15,320 --> 00:21:17,640 [crowd] Catholics... athletes... 505 00:21:17,720 --> 00:21:19,440 They're all arseholes. 506 00:21:19,520 --> 00:21:21,720 What the hell is that supposed to mean? 507 00:21:21,840 --> 00:21:23,600 You tried to swap us. 508 00:21:23,680 --> 00:21:26,800 Because all Protestants are the same, aren't they, girls? 509 00:21:26,880 --> 00:21:27,880 -Yes. -No. 510 00:21:27,960 --> 00:21:30,480 And this guy is really creepy and a bit, sort of, sexist. 511 00:21:30,560 --> 00:21:33,440 And she carries a knife and makes people bury their own excrement. 512 00:21:33,560 --> 00:21:35,040 [boy] Fucking Catholics. 513 00:21:35,120 --> 00:21:36,600 -Who said that? -Who? 514 00:21:36,680 --> 00:21:38,200 [crowd yelling] 515 00:21:43,040 --> 00:21:44,480 Shall we break it up? 516 00:21:44,560 --> 00:21:46,600 Don't touch the hair! Don't touch the hair! 517 00:21:48,240 --> 00:21:49,840 Let's leave it a minute. 518 00:21:50,880 --> 00:21:53,440 [Mary] I just cannot get me head around it. 519 00:21:53,520 --> 00:21:55,240 [Gerry] For the love of God, Mary, 520 00:21:55,320 --> 00:21:56,480 it's only a bowl. 521 00:21:56,560 --> 00:21:58,600 Who just gives away their big bowl, Gerry? 522 00:21:58,680 --> 00:21:59,760 It doesn't make sense. 523 00:21:59,840 --> 00:22:01,280 Ah, she's definitely up to something, love. 524 00:22:01,360 --> 00:22:04,280 I have always said that Deirdre Mallon is a bit fly. 525 00:22:04,360 --> 00:22:06,600 -I'd confront her about it. -Oh, I intend to. 526 00:22:06,680 --> 00:22:10,120 Great, do that, then maybe we can lay the whole bloody thing to rest. 527 00:22:10,200 --> 00:22:13,680 Take that tone with her again and I'll lay you to rest, boyo. 528 00:22:13,760 --> 00:22:15,760 [rock music playing] 529 00:22:22,760 --> 00:22:24,920 Do you know what this is about, Geraldine? 530 00:22:25,000 --> 00:22:27,240 As far as I can make out, 531 00:22:27,320 --> 00:22:29,600 these lads tried to throw my Clare off a cliff. 532 00:22:29,680 --> 00:22:30,800 Desperate. 533 00:22:30,880 --> 00:22:34,120 You all right, Mary? How's the bowl working out for you? 534 00:22:34,200 --> 00:22:38,000 Great. Great. Thanks very much, Deirdre. 535 00:22:39,520 --> 00:22:41,680 Well, that got to the bottom of it, all right. 536 00:22:43,960 --> 00:22:45,800 [Father Peter] Is that everyone? 537 00:22:45,880 --> 00:22:47,120 Lovely stuff. 538 00:22:48,840 --> 00:22:51,440 OK, so there was a bit of a misunderstanding 539 00:22:51,520 --> 00:22:52,960 on the expedition today, 540 00:22:53,040 --> 00:22:56,600 which unfortunately led to a physical altercation. 541 00:22:58,080 --> 00:23:00,160 I thought, rather than let it fester, 542 00:23:00,240 --> 00:23:01,520 we should talk about it, 543 00:23:01,600 --> 00:23:03,240 and start to heal 544 00:23:03,360 --> 00:23:04,760 and repair. 545 00:23:05,880 --> 00:23:08,280 So... 546 00:23:08,360 --> 00:23:10,040 who'd like to go first? 547 00:23:10,120 --> 00:23:11,920 "Jaffa bastard"? You actually said those words? 548 00:23:12,000 --> 00:23:13,160 It just came out, Mammy. 549 00:23:13,240 --> 00:23:15,680 But why were you threatening people with a knife, love? 550 00:23:15,760 --> 00:23:17,440 OK, one at a time, please. 551 00:23:17,520 --> 00:23:20,360 Well, if you'd wear the bloody hearing aid I paid a fortune for, 552 00:23:20,440 --> 00:23:22,000 -you'd have heard what she said! -It's unbelievable. 553 00:23:22,080 --> 00:23:24,480 Girls. You were fighting with girls? 554 00:23:24,560 --> 00:23:26,880 This is all your fault, Gerry. I knew this would happen. 555 00:23:26,960 --> 00:23:28,960 See that child over there? That child... 556 00:23:46,000 --> 00:23:49,200 ♪ Oh, my life ♪ 557 00:23:49,280 --> 00:23:53,000 ♪ Is changing every day ♪ 558 00:23:53,080 --> 00:23:56,160 ♪ In every possible way ♪ 559 00:24:01,000 --> 00:24:04,480 ♪ And oh, my dreams ♪ 560 00:24:04,560 --> 00:24:08,080 ♪ It's never quite as it seems ♪ 561 00:24:08,160 --> 00:24:11,000 ♪ Never quite as it seems ♪