1
00:00:11,005 --> 00:00:12,685
[drum roll]
2
00:00:17,405 --> 00:00:19,965
[banging]
3
00:00:23,045 --> 00:00:24,405
[man shouts indistinctly outside]
4
00:00:24,485 --> 00:00:27,765
[Ma Mary] Already?
They've started already?
5
00:00:27,845 --> 00:00:29,605
Think it's just a rehearsal, love.
6
00:00:29,685 --> 00:00:32,165
They've been playing
the same three songs since 1795.
7
00:00:32,245 --> 00:00:33,885
What do they need to rehearse for?
8
00:00:33,965 --> 00:00:36,685
Well, practice makes perfect, Aunt Mary.
9
00:00:36,765 --> 00:00:39,085
You know, that is why they are
so cracker.
10
00:00:39,165 --> 00:00:40,445
I'm sorry?
11
00:00:40,525 --> 00:00:42,445
Did you just call
the Orange Order "cracker"?
12
00:00:42,525 --> 00:00:44,085
I'm considering joining.
13
00:00:44,165 --> 00:00:46,405
I don't think they accept
Catholics, Orla,
14
00:00:46,485 --> 00:00:49,125
or, you know,
acknowledge our right to exist.
15
00:00:49,205 --> 00:00:52,485
Give us a hand here, Gerry.
This'll not close.
16
00:00:53,645 --> 00:00:55,125
We need to shift ourselves.
17
00:00:55,205 --> 00:00:57,285
-We're the last Fenians standing.
-Relax, love.
18
00:00:57,365 --> 00:01:00,085
We've a good two or three hours
before the rioting starts.
19
00:01:00,165 --> 00:01:02,765
I'll not settle myself
until we're over that border, Da.
20
00:01:04,005 --> 00:01:06,645
You're absolutely sure we need
the big clock, love?
21
00:01:06,725 --> 00:01:09,445
-We've been through this.
-Don't want to bring the wee clock?
22
00:01:09,525 --> 00:01:10,965
I can't be doing with the wee clock.
23
00:01:11,045 --> 00:01:12,885
What exactly is your problem
with the big clock?
24
00:01:12,965 --> 00:01:14,845
I wouldn't say I have a problem, as such.
25
00:01:14,925 --> 00:01:17,285
It's just much heavier
and takes up a lot of room.
26
00:01:17,365 --> 00:01:19,245
I'm telling you, Mary.
That's how it starts.
27
00:01:19,325 --> 00:01:21,685
Now he's dictating
what size of clock you can pack.
28
00:01:21,765 --> 00:01:23,725
Next he'll be telling you
what to wear, what to say.
29
00:01:23,805 --> 00:01:27,405
Before you know it, you'll be faking
your own death, assuming a new identity.
30
00:01:27,485 --> 00:01:30,965
Erin, I told you not to let him watch
that Sleeping with the Enemy.
31
00:01:31,045 --> 00:01:32,805
-[Erin] Couldn't stop him, Mammy.
-Great show.
32
00:01:32,885 --> 00:01:34,605
Stick that in the boot.
33
00:01:34,685 --> 00:01:36,325
[Gerry grunting]
34
00:01:36,405 --> 00:01:38,885
You'll be as well
getting one of the wains to do it.
35
00:01:39,605 --> 00:01:40,925
Out of the way.
36
00:01:42,845 --> 00:01:44,045
[groans]
37
00:01:47,645 --> 00:01:48,845
-[door opens]
-Right.
38
00:01:48,925 --> 00:01:51,765
Listen to it. I mean, just listen to it.
39
00:01:51,845 --> 00:01:54,445
They can't-- I mean, they don't--
Why do they have to be so loud?
40
00:01:54,525 --> 00:01:56,805
-Breathe, love.
-It's far worse for me, Clare.
41
00:01:56,885 --> 00:02:00,445
-I mean, my hearing is impeccable.
-I've read the same paragraph 47 times
42
00:02:00,525 --> 00:02:04,965
because I can't concentrate,
because-- Oh my God, the noise!
43
00:02:05,045 --> 00:02:07,165
This whale, he's a bad brute, Mrs. Quinn.
44
00:02:07,245 --> 00:02:09,245
I have to know if they catch him.
45
00:02:09,325 --> 00:02:10,885
Can I come away with you, please?
46
00:02:11,525 --> 00:02:14,725
Okay, well, if your mother has
no objections, I don't see why not.
47
00:02:14,805 --> 00:02:17,165
Thank you. Thank you.
48
00:02:17,245 --> 00:02:19,525
I'll never forget this. Thank you!
49
00:02:19,605 --> 00:02:23,325
She's taking you to a caravan in Portnoo.
She's not giving you a kidney, Clare.
50
00:02:23,405 --> 00:02:25,485
Listen, Mary. I just did a reading.
51
00:02:26,205 --> 00:02:30,685
The cards say if we go on this wee holiday
we're placing ourselves in grave danger,
52
00:02:30,765 --> 00:02:32,885
which I'm not buzzing about, to
be honest.
53
00:02:32,965 --> 00:02:34,565
You're not psychic, Aunt Sarah.
54
00:02:34,645 --> 00:02:36,005
I am psychic, Erin.
55
00:02:36,085 --> 00:02:38,725
I did a course. I got a certificate.
56
00:02:39,685 --> 00:02:42,085
Aye, this does not look good.
57
00:02:42,165 --> 00:02:43,885
Still no sign of the lottery numbers?
58
00:02:43,965 --> 00:02:45,365
[Sarah] No, Daddy.
59
00:02:45,445 --> 00:02:49,605
This psychic carry-on, it's not
all it's cracked up to be, you know.
60
00:02:49,685 --> 00:02:54,365
Last night,
I woke up to this wailing sound.
61
00:02:54,445 --> 00:02:57,005
I thought to myself,
"Jesus, it's Granny Pat.
62
00:02:57,085 --> 00:02:59,245
She's trying to cross over."
63
00:02:59,325 --> 00:03:01,445
Now, it turned out
it was only Aggie next door.
64
00:03:01,525 --> 00:03:04,365
She'd put the electric blanket
on full whack
65
00:03:04,445 --> 00:03:06,525
and scalded the legs of herself.
66
00:03:06,605 --> 00:03:09,885
But still, it could
just as easily have been--
67
00:03:09,965 --> 00:03:11,765
The disembodied spirit of a dead relative?
68
00:03:11,845 --> 00:03:14,285
Exactly. My nerves are wrecked.
69
00:03:14,365 --> 00:03:16,805
I'm living on a knife's edge here.
70
00:03:16,885 --> 00:03:19,765
-Is there any Rice Krispies?
-[Orla] Shh! Shh!
71
00:03:19,845 --> 00:03:22,205
This is the best bit.
72
00:03:23,085 --> 00:03:25,445
Okay, everyone. Remain calm.
73
00:03:25,525 --> 00:03:29,285
I need you all to listen very carefully.
74
00:03:29,365 --> 00:03:30,805
[marching band music]
75
00:03:32,925 --> 00:03:35,685
-[Mary] Okay, I'm going in.
-[door opens]
76
00:03:35,765 --> 00:03:37,965
-[knocking]
-For the love of God,
77
00:03:38,045 --> 00:03:39,205
don't come in here!
78
00:03:39,285 --> 00:03:41,165
-Everything all right, Mary?
-Stay back, Deidre.
79
00:03:41,245 --> 00:03:43,005
This place is a death trap.
80
00:03:43,085 --> 00:03:44,325
Mary, I hate to do this to you,
81
00:03:44,405 --> 00:03:45,965
but me and Martin are both
working nights,
82
00:03:46,045 --> 00:03:48,725
and I'm nervous about leaving these two,
what with the day that's on it.
83
00:03:48,805 --> 00:03:50,685
Don't suppose you could
take them with you?
84
00:03:50,765 --> 00:03:52,765
-Ach, away, Deidre, it's just--
-The English thing?
85
00:03:53,485 --> 00:03:55,125
[sighs] Listen, Mary, I understand.
86
00:03:55,205 --> 00:03:57,685
I mean, he's my nephew,
and even I find it hard to get past.
87
00:03:57,765 --> 00:04:00,965
If I'm totally honest, there's times
when I look at him and I feel...
88
00:04:01,045 --> 00:04:03,965
well, it's pure hatred.
89
00:04:04,045 --> 00:04:06,925
-I'll not dress it up.
-No, no, it's not the English thing.
90
00:04:07,005 --> 00:04:09,245
Hope to God it's not the gay thing
you're offended by.
91
00:04:09,325 --> 00:04:12,365
-There is no gay thing.
-Because I'd be disappointed in you, Mary,
92
00:04:12,445 --> 00:04:14,445
-I'll not lie.
-Of course not.
93
00:04:14,525 --> 00:04:17,605
I mean, if anything, the gay thing
sort of cancels out the English thing.
94
00:04:17,685 --> 00:04:19,765
Again, no gay thing.
95
00:04:19,845 --> 00:04:23,165
You wouldn't move over there, James?
I can't see past your massive closet.
96
00:04:23,245 --> 00:04:24,965
I'm just not sure
we'll have room in the caravan.
97
00:04:25,045 --> 00:04:28,005
It'll be grand. Us men can camp outside.
98
00:04:28,085 --> 00:04:29,685
-Oh, God.
-Oh, God.
99
00:04:29,765 --> 00:04:31,965
Run and ask Jim across the road
for the lend of his tent.
100
00:04:32,045 --> 00:04:34,045
Well, thanks a million, Mary.
I owe you one.
101
00:04:34,125 --> 00:04:37,365
If you want our Ryan to sort that gable
wall of yours out, you've only to ask.
102
00:04:39,125 --> 00:04:40,965
What's wrong with our gable wall?
103
00:04:41,885 --> 00:04:44,845
-[Mary] Christ's sake.
-[Sarah] Do you think it's an omen?
104
00:04:47,045 --> 00:04:48,925
-[band continues playing loudly]
-Right?
105
00:04:49,005 --> 00:04:50,325
Now watch.
106
00:04:52,085 --> 00:04:53,885
[silence]
107
00:04:53,965 --> 00:04:56,525
-What about that?
-Whoa!
108
00:04:56,605 --> 00:04:59,725
I tell you, girls, the double glazing,
it'll change your life.
109
00:04:59,805 --> 00:05:02,445
Yes, as I said, it's...
110
00:05:02,525 --> 00:05:05,725
it's very impressive, Jim,
but we're actually in a bit of a hurry,
111
00:05:05,805 --> 00:05:07,445
so if we could just grab that tent--
112
00:05:08,125 --> 00:05:09,805
[band plays loudly]
113
00:05:12,125 --> 00:05:13,325
[silence]
114
00:05:14,285 --> 00:05:16,085
Mind-blowing.
115
00:05:16,165 --> 00:05:17,925
[Mary] What are they, stilts?
116
00:05:18,805 --> 00:05:20,205
Golf clubs.
117
00:05:20,285 --> 00:05:22,565
I thought... spatulas.
118
00:05:22,645 --> 00:05:26,085
-They're rifles.
-[Sarah] Really? Are you sure?
119
00:05:26,165 --> 00:05:27,485
Fairly sure.
120
00:05:27,565 --> 00:05:31,645
I also don't understand what connection
spatulas, golf clubs or stilts
121
00:05:31,725 --> 00:05:33,525
would have to the Irish Resistance.
122
00:05:33,605 --> 00:05:35,765
Christ, he's a dose.
123
00:05:35,845 --> 00:05:37,365
Right. Once your tent is erect...
124
00:05:37,445 --> 00:05:38,645
[snorts]
125
00:05:38,725 --> 00:05:41,165
...you'll want to think about
where to safely store your food,
126
00:05:41,245 --> 00:05:43,205
because believe me, girls,
127
00:05:43,285 --> 00:05:46,485
you do not want to attract predatory
animals into your sleeping area.
128
00:05:47,405 --> 00:05:49,525
Bears are particularly vicious.
129
00:05:49,605 --> 00:05:52,205
Yeah, I'm not sure how many bears
there are in Portnoo, though, Jim.
130
00:05:52,285 --> 00:05:54,285
But there was a cheetah
on the beach one time.
131
00:05:54,365 --> 00:05:55,645
That was a greyhound, Orla.
132
00:05:56,605 --> 00:05:58,005
I know what I saw.
133
00:06:03,645 --> 00:06:05,765
Gave you the Intrepid, did he?
134
00:06:05,845 --> 00:06:08,205
That's his second-best tent, you know.
135
00:06:08,285 --> 00:06:10,085
Tell you what, son.
136
00:06:10,165 --> 00:06:11,885
I'm putting you in charge of it, okay?
137
00:06:11,965 --> 00:06:14,125
Oh, please don't.
Please, don't put me in charge of it.
138
00:06:14,205 --> 00:06:15,965
You'll be all right.
139
00:06:16,045 --> 00:06:19,205
Right, there's too many of us for one car.
Some of you'll have to go with my da.
140
00:06:19,285 --> 00:06:20,405
Can I? Can I?
141
00:06:20,485 --> 00:06:23,165
'Cause Joe drives really fast.
142
00:06:23,245 --> 00:06:26,405
He, like, runs through red lights and
takes corners on two wheels. It is class!
143
00:06:26,485 --> 00:06:28,085
It really is.
144
00:06:28,165 --> 00:06:30,285
I think I'll hop in with Mr. Quinn,
if that's okay.
145
00:06:30,365 --> 00:06:31,525
Me too.
146
00:06:31,605 --> 00:06:32,925
I'll go with me da. He lets me smoke.
147
00:06:33,005 --> 00:06:36,245
You're coming? What about the grave
danger we're putting ourselves in?
148
00:06:36,325 --> 00:06:40,765
It's a concern, but so is the fact I have
nothing in for me Sunday dinner, so...
149
00:06:40,845 --> 00:06:42,725
All right, Joe, if you just follow me.
150
00:06:43,965 --> 00:06:46,125
Now, why should I follow you?
151
00:06:46,205 --> 00:06:48,085
-I've got the map.
-Aye.
152
00:06:48,165 --> 00:06:51,005
-Well, now I have the map.
-Ach, Da.
153
00:06:51,085 --> 00:06:54,165
Joe, it's all just a bit trickier today.
154
00:06:54,245 --> 00:06:55,685
There are so many roadblocks up.
155
00:06:55,765 --> 00:06:58,285
There are so many diversions and,
you know, I drive for a living.
156
00:06:58,365 --> 00:07:00,645
He says this like it's something
to be proud of.
157
00:07:00,725 --> 00:07:02,805
Look, we just need
to get out of this place as quickly
158
00:07:02,885 --> 00:07:04,965
and as quietly as possible.
159
00:07:05,925 --> 00:07:07,845
You know what age I am, boy?
160
00:07:07,925 --> 00:07:10,525
You know how many of these parades
I've lived through?
161
00:07:12,765 --> 00:07:16,045
You think I don't realize
how quickly a situation can turn?
162
00:07:17,005 --> 00:07:19,685
Do you think I'd do anything
to put my family at risk?
163
00:07:19,765 --> 00:07:22,405
No, of course not. I'm sorry.
164
00:07:24,205 --> 00:07:25,605
Aye.
165
00:07:25,685 --> 00:07:28,005
What are you looking at,
you tangerine toe?
166
00:07:28,085 --> 00:07:29,765
[Erin] Okay, Granda.
167
00:07:29,845 --> 00:07:32,845
I think what's happened here is,
now correct me if I'm wrong,
168
00:07:32,925 --> 00:07:35,485
but I think your father has just
driven through a police barricade.
169
00:07:35,565 --> 00:07:36,645
[Mary] Well, it's done now.
170
00:07:36,725 --> 00:07:38,925
Oh, that's true.
It's probably not even that big a deal,
171
00:07:39,005 --> 00:07:41,285
if you ignore the fact
that Orangemen are circling us
172
00:07:41,365 --> 00:07:42,965
as though we're their fucking prey.
173
00:07:43,045 --> 00:07:44,645
[Mary] It'll be grand.
174
00:07:44,725 --> 00:07:46,925
I'm starting to understand
how Moby Dick must feel.
175
00:07:47,005 --> 00:07:48,645
Christ, I'm sweating here.
176
00:07:49,805 --> 00:07:52,565
-[music blaring]
-[inaudible arguing]
177
00:07:58,045 --> 00:08:01,525
[Joe] You lot tell me where I can and
can't go in my own town?
178
00:08:02,205 --> 00:08:03,805
Orange bastards!
179
00:08:04,645 --> 00:08:07,085
Sure, didn't I predict this?
180
00:08:07,165 --> 00:08:08,565
No, you didn't.
181
00:08:08,645 --> 00:08:11,845
I said this trip would place us
in grave danger, Erin.
182
00:08:11,925 --> 00:08:13,525
Those were my very words.
183
00:08:13,605 --> 00:08:15,325
This isn't grave danger.
184
00:08:15,405 --> 00:08:17,485
Oh, look. That cop is pointing
his gun at us.
185
00:08:17,565 --> 00:08:21,365
I mean, it's not ideal,
but this is more of a pickle.
186
00:08:22,125 --> 00:08:24,685
It's a pickle, isn't it, Granda?
It's just a pickle.
187
00:08:24,765 --> 00:08:26,165
Assholes!
188
00:08:26,245 --> 00:08:27,645
Okay, then.
189
00:08:28,405 --> 00:08:31,685
-So, would you do me a reading, Sarah?
-I would, surely, love.
190
00:08:31,765 --> 00:08:32,965
Grow up, Michelle.
191
00:08:33,045 --> 00:08:35,605
Deck of cards can't actually
predict your future.
192
00:08:35,685 --> 00:08:37,725
It's ridiculous. It's medieval.
193
00:08:37,805 --> 00:08:39,205
Shower of shites!
194
00:08:39,285 --> 00:08:40,885
[crowd shouting, cheering]
195
00:08:42,045 --> 00:08:44,165
They really don't look that happy,
do they?
196
00:08:44,245 --> 00:08:47,005
Why don't we explain it was an accident,
that we don't want any trouble?
197
00:08:47,085 --> 00:08:49,085
-I'm not going out there.
-Send one of the wains.
198
00:08:49,165 --> 00:08:50,285
-What?
-What?
199
00:08:50,365 --> 00:08:52,805
Well, the wee fella's English.
They might respect that.
200
00:08:52,885 --> 00:08:55,325
-I think they would respect that.
-Away you go, son.
201
00:08:55,405 --> 00:08:58,005
-You're not serious.
-It'll be grand.
202
00:08:58,085 --> 00:09:00,845
Underneath it all, I'm sure
they're reasonable enough people.
203
00:09:00,925 --> 00:09:02,405
[men shouting]
204
00:09:06,485 --> 00:09:08,925
Absolutely no chance.
205
00:09:09,005 --> 00:09:11,285
And how soon am I gonna meet this fella?
206
00:09:11,365 --> 00:09:13,405
Dead soon. Really soon.
207
00:09:13,485 --> 00:09:15,445
And answer me this. Is he a ride?
208
00:09:15,525 --> 00:09:16,845
Oh, God, aye.
209
00:09:16,925 --> 00:09:19,925
Is it just a casual thing,
or are we talking a keeper here?
210
00:09:20,005 --> 00:09:22,685
I'm thinking marriage.
211
00:09:22,765 --> 00:09:25,685
-Holy fuck.
-Catch yourself on.
212
00:09:25,765 --> 00:09:28,405
To think, I could be
staring at him right now.
213
00:09:28,485 --> 00:09:31,445
You can't marry an Orangeman, Michelle.
214
00:09:31,525 --> 00:09:34,365
That's a pity, 'cause I think
there's something really sexy
215
00:09:34,445 --> 00:09:36,285
about the fact that they hate us so much.
216
00:09:36,365 --> 00:09:39,005
["Holiday" by Madonna plays]
217
00:09:42,845 --> 00:09:44,485
♪ Holiday ♪
218
00:09:46,365 --> 00:09:48,565
♪ Celebrate ♪
219
00:09:50,645 --> 00:09:53,405
I hope your father appreciates the fact
that I was the one
220
00:09:53,485 --> 00:09:55,445
-who got us out of that mess.
-He won't.
221
00:09:55,525 --> 00:09:58,725
Nobody back there actually believed you
were a Japanese tourist, Gerry.
222
00:09:58,805 --> 00:10:01,725
They all thought you were a nutcase.
They took pity on you.
223
00:10:01,805 --> 00:10:04,525
No, no, no, no, no, no, no. Dear God, no.
224
00:10:04,605 --> 00:10:06,645
-What's wrong?
-I can't find my purse.
225
00:10:06,725 --> 00:10:09,205
-I can see your purse right there.
-No, that's my sterling purse.
226
00:10:09,285 --> 00:10:12,485
I'm talking about my punt purse.
I can't find my punt purse, Gerry.
227
00:10:12,565 --> 00:10:14,725
Blessed Saint Anthony,
the grace of God has made you
228
00:10:14,805 --> 00:10:16,605
the patron saint
of all things lost and stolen.
229
00:10:16,685 --> 00:10:19,325
I turn to you this day
with childlike love and deep confidence--
230
00:10:19,405 --> 00:10:21,325
-Look, Mary, calm down--
-Calm down, Gerry?
231
00:10:21,405 --> 00:10:22,765
We have no punts.
232
00:10:22,845 --> 00:10:25,125
We can't go to the Free State
without punts.
233
00:10:25,205 --> 00:10:27,725
We're puntless.
We haven't a punt between us.
234
00:10:27,805 --> 00:10:31,045
Oh, God, I think...
I think I'm having a panic attack.
235
00:10:31,125 --> 00:10:34,125
-Oh, stupid punts.
-Over this?
236
00:10:34,205 --> 00:10:36,365
So what happened back there was
totally fine, but this
237
00:10:36,445 --> 00:10:38,885
-is worth having a panic attack about?
-You have to turn around.
238
00:10:38,965 --> 00:10:40,405
There is more chance of me
239
00:10:40,485 --> 00:10:43,845
eloping with your father
to a flip-flop shop in Hawaii--
240
00:10:43,925 --> 00:10:47,725
Look, okay, fine, but that means
we won't be able to buy anything,
241
00:10:47,805 --> 00:10:50,765
which means we'll have no food,
which means we'll all starve to death.
242
00:10:50,845 --> 00:10:54,125
So, you know, on your head be it, Gerry.
Oh, actually, do you know what?
243
00:10:54,205 --> 00:10:55,765
I think I put it in the suitcase.
244
00:10:56,845 --> 00:10:59,325
False alarm there, Saint Anthony.
Sorry for troubling you.
245
00:11:00,845 --> 00:11:02,205
♪ It would be ♪
246
00:11:02,285 --> 00:11:04,565
♪ It would be so nice ♪
247
00:11:09,325 --> 00:11:11,485
What's this prick up to now?
248
00:11:15,445 --> 00:11:17,645
[car doors slam]
249
00:11:18,285 --> 00:11:21,005
What the hell were you playing at
back there, "Kemosabe"?
250
00:11:21,085 --> 00:11:23,085
That's actually a Native American term.
251
00:11:23,165 --> 00:11:25,445
-Who were you meant to be?
-Japanese.
252
00:11:25,525 --> 00:11:28,525
I didn't think you get much Japanese
tourism in Derry, do you?
253
00:11:28,605 --> 00:11:31,085
Aye, 'cause that's why
it wasn't believable, dickweed.
254
00:11:31,165 --> 00:11:33,645
-What's going on? Why have we stopped?
-Punt purse is in the suitcase.
255
00:11:33,725 --> 00:11:37,325
Punts are such a pain in the ass.
Why can't they just use sterling?
256
00:11:37,405 --> 00:11:40,485
Well, they did for a while, Sarah,
but then, you know, partition happened.
257
00:11:40,565 --> 00:11:42,085
Holy God!
258
00:11:44,805 --> 00:11:46,285
Jesus Christ!
259
00:11:46,365 --> 00:11:48,325
Did you not put him in there, Aunt Mary?
260
00:11:48,405 --> 00:11:51,125
-No, I did not.
-All right? How's it going?
261
00:11:51,205 --> 00:11:53,165
Not too bad. Not too bad. And yourself?
262
00:11:54,325 --> 00:11:55,765
I'm sorry, who are you?
263
00:11:55,845 --> 00:11:58,045
Ah, Emmett's the name.
264
00:11:58,125 --> 00:12:00,845
Well, not my real name,
like, but it'll have to do.
265
00:12:01,605 --> 00:12:02,965
Anyway, I'll not be keeping you.
266
00:12:03,045 --> 00:12:04,765
-[Mary] No, hold on. Wait.
-Yeah?
267
00:12:05,405 --> 00:12:07,525
Do you mind telling us
what you're doing in there?
268
00:12:07,605 --> 00:12:08,885
Oh, right.
269
00:12:08,965 --> 00:12:11,285
Well, during the last 24 hours,
270
00:12:11,365 --> 00:12:13,965
crossing the border has become
somewhat of a priority for me.
271
00:12:14,045 --> 00:12:15,845
So, I did a bit of asking around,
you know,
272
00:12:15,925 --> 00:12:18,445
just on the off chance someone
would be heading down that way,
273
00:12:18,525 --> 00:12:21,885
and your name came up,
and, there you have it.
274
00:12:22,605 --> 00:12:25,485
-Fantastic.
-All right? Lovely to meet you.
275
00:12:26,925 --> 00:12:29,325
♪ We need a holiday ♪
276
00:12:29,405 --> 00:12:31,125
I'm in shock. It's insane.
277
00:12:31,205 --> 00:12:33,045
-I don't even think I fancy him.
-What?
278
00:12:33,125 --> 00:12:35,165
Well, it's obviously him.
It's obviously my husband.
279
00:12:35,245 --> 00:12:37,285
Like, it's just too much of a coincidence.
280
00:12:37,365 --> 00:12:40,805
Do you remember the whole "us being
in grave danger" thing Sarah mentioned?
281
00:12:40,885 --> 00:12:43,325
Well, I think... I think this might be it.
282
00:12:43,405 --> 00:12:45,245
I thought you said
fortune-telling was medieval.
283
00:12:45,325 --> 00:12:48,485
Yeah, well, something has made me
reassess all that. What was it again?
284
00:12:48,565 --> 00:12:51,725
Oh, aye, the fact that there's
an actual Provo in the boot of our car.
285
00:12:51,805 --> 00:12:54,765
Oh, no! I've lost my bookmark.
286
00:12:54,845 --> 00:12:56,045
Now I've lost my page.
287
00:12:56,125 --> 00:12:58,245
Oh, my God, this day
just goes from bad to worse.
288
00:12:58,325 --> 00:13:00,005
Bit of perspective, maybe, Clare.
289
00:13:00,085 --> 00:13:01,805
I could grow to fancy him, I suppose.
290
00:13:01,885 --> 00:13:04,085
Why doesn't someone just call the police?
291
00:13:05,045 --> 00:13:07,045
'Cause that's not how things
work around here, James.
292
00:13:07,125 --> 00:13:10,365
Well, how do things work here?
How do they work?
293
00:13:10,445 --> 00:13:12,365
Will one of you please explain it to me?
294
00:13:12,445 --> 00:13:16,165
Because sometimes I feel like I've gone
through the fucking looking glass.
295
00:13:17,045 --> 00:13:18,885
Calm down, James.
296
00:13:18,965 --> 00:13:20,565
Aye, don't be such a dick, James.
297
00:13:22,085 --> 00:13:23,765
[knocking]
298
00:13:23,845 --> 00:13:25,365
Was there something else, or...?
299
00:13:25,445 --> 00:13:28,445
Yes. Yes, there was something else,
actually.
300
00:13:28,525 --> 00:13:31,285
I'm sure you have questions.
I just don't really wanna get into it all.
301
00:13:31,365 --> 00:13:33,765
Yeah, well we didn't really
want you to get into our boot.
302
00:13:33,845 --> 00:13:36,285
Maybe just leave the fella be, sure.
What's the odds?
303
00:13:36,365 --> 00:13:38,485
What if they pull us over
at the checkpoint, Joe?
304
00:13:38,565 --> 00:13:40,085
What if the army asks to search the car?
305
00:13:40,165 --> 00:13:42,725
[scoffs] The Brits are flat out
with their own parade.
306
00:13:42,805 --> 00:13:44,845
-They'll not bother with us.
-That's a good point.
307
00:13:44,925 --> 00:13:47,285
-Stay out of it, you.
-Right, in you go, son.
308
00:13:47,365 --> 00:13:49,565
-Ah, Da.
-What do you want me to do?
309
00:13:49,645 --> 00:13:51,285
Turf the wain out
in the middle of nowhere?
310
00:13:51,365 --> 00:13:54,125
But this is dangerous, Joe.
He is dangerous.
311
00:13:54,205 --> 00:13:55,485
[Emmett] I'm not dangerous.
312
00:13:55,565 --> 00:13:56,765
In fairness, Emmett,
313
00:13:56,845 --> 00:13:59,445
if you were dangerous,
you wouldn't say that you were dangerous,
314
00:13:59,525 --> 00:14:00,845
-would you?
-[Emmett] True.
315
00:14:01,805 --> 00:14:04,965
Shh! Can you hear that?
316
00:14:05,045 --> 00:14:06,325
-[ticking]
-[Michelle] Hear what?
317
00:14:06,405 --> 00:14:08,365
-Come on, Emmett, out you go.
-Ah, ah, ah!
318
00:14:08,445 --> 00:14:09,925
You just stay where you are, son.
319
00:14:10,005 --> 00:14:11,885
Ticking.
320
00:14:11,965 --> 00:14:15,365
It's... it's like a ticking sound.
321
00:14:15,445 --> 00:14:18,165
I'm not comfortable
driving him across the border.
322
00:14:18,245 --> 00:14:19,885
Fine.
323
00:14:19,965 --> 00:14:21,485
I'll drive him.
324
00:14:24,245 --> 00:14:25,525
Oh, dear God.
325
00:14:26,525 --> 00:14:28,725
We're all involved in this, Da.
326
00:14:28,805 --> 00:14:31,165
We'll decide what to do as a family.
327
00:14:33,565 --> 00:14:36,165
Bomb! He has a bomb! Listen, Mammy!
328
00:14:36,245 --> 00:14:39,645
-Listen!
-Ach, Erin, that's just the big clock.
329
00:14:40,805 --> 00:14:43,125
[mariachi band plays]
330
00:14:45,805 --> 00:14:48,045
[crowd on TV cheers]
331
00:14:50,285 --> 00:14:53,685
It's aiding and abetting.
We're talking serious jail time here.
332
00:14:53,765 --> 00:14:55,205
Well, it's a risk we have to take.
333
00:14:55,285 --> 00:14:56,485
No, it's not, Joe.
334
00:14:56,565 --> 00:14:59,085
It's not a risk we have to take.
It's a risk we shouldn't take.
335
00:14:59,165 --> 00:15:02,485
-Don't you take that tone with me, boy.
-He seems like a nice enough fella.
336
00:15:02,565 --> 00:15:04,805
-We have to walk away from this.
-[Erin] What if we can't?
337
00:15:04,885 --> 00:15:07,845
What if we don't help him and
he kills us all because we know too much?
338
00:15:07,925 --> 00:15:10,285
I like him. I think he's a character.
339
00:15:12,565 --> 00:15:14,405
-Well?
-Just a cup of tea for me, please, love.
340
00:15:14,485 --> 00:15:16,725
-Same here.
-[Joe] And here, thanks, love.
341
00:15:16,805 --> 00:15:20,285
Oh, and some Cokes for the wains, please.
What do you fancy, Sarah?
342
00:15:20,365 --> 00:15:23,365
-I wouldn't mind a wee vodka.
-Make that two.
343
00:15:23,445 --> 00:15:26,645
-We don't sell alcohol.
-[baby cries]
344
00:15:26,725 --> 00:15:29,205
-I'll take a tea.
-Any food?
345
00:15:29,285 --> 00:15:31,125
We're just looking.
346
00:15:31,205 --> 00:15:33,805
-[scoffs] Fine.
-[Gerry] Yeah.
347
00:15:33,885 --> 00:15:36,925
And at 2.25 a burger,
looking is all we'll be doing.
348
00:15:37,005 --> 00:15:38,605
Ah, don't mind me. Just grabbing a knife.
349
00:15:40,685 --> 00:15:43,765
-Take it you haven't decided yet.
-Just leave it with me, son.
350
00:15:43,845 --> 00:15:46,765
Aye, no pressure.
I'll be over here if you need me.
351
00:15:47,845 --> 00:15:49,445
What the hell does he need a knife for?
352
00:15:49,525 --> 00:15:51,085
He's eating his lunch.
353
00:15:51,165 --> 00:15:53,885
God, but he has great teeth, doesn't he?
354
00:15:53,965 --> 00:15:57,445
He really does, but...
now, tell the truth.
355
00:15:57,525 --> 00:16:00,285
The hair. Can you see a ginger tinge?
356
00:16:00,365 --> 00:16:01,965
[Sarah] Now that you mention it...
357
00:16:02,885 --> 00:16:05,285
So Christ only knows
what's lurking downstairs.
358
00:16:05,365 --> 00:16:07,125
And that is a concern.
359
00:16:07,205 --> 00:16:10,325
But spending the rest of your life
with a fugitive is less of a concern?
360
00:16:11,285 --> 00:16:12,685
Absolutely.
361
00:16:12,765 --> 00:16:15,205
[pop song plays]
362
00:16:18,765 --> 00:16:21,165
-Hey.
-All right?
363
00:16:26,045 --> 00:16:27,245
I think you know who I am.
364
00:16:27,325 --> 00:16:28,325
Yeah.
365
00:16:28,405 --> 00:16:29,925
You sense it.
366
00:16:30,005 --> 00:16:31,925
No, I mean I remember. You're with them.
367
00:16:33,045 --> 00:16:35,325
Look, I just wanted to say, well,
368
00:16:35,405 --> 00:16:38,005
-there's obviously something between us.
-There is?
369
00:16:38,085 --> 00:16:40,685
The physical thing
isn't really working for me yet.
370
00:16:40,765 --> 00:16:43,125
-Right.
-I'm not saying you won't grow on me.
371
00:16:43,205 --> 00:16:45,605
-You're not a bad-looking lad.
-Thank you.
372
00:16:45,685 --> 00:16:49,365
But the ginger element... well,
I've sort of got a borderline phobia.
373
00:16:49,445 --> 00:16:51,365
-I'm not ginger.
-There's a tinge, Emmett.
374
00:16:51,445 --> 00:16:55,845
And while I can't say it won't
be a struggle, I'm willing to try.
375
00:16:57,045 --> 00:16:58,325
Great.
376
00:16:58,405 --> 00:17:00,965
Even though it sort of turns my stomach.
377
00:17:01,045 --> 00:17:02,485
Okay.
378
00:17:04,725 --> 00:17:07,965
You really think this'll work?
That they'll tell us what to do?
379
00:17:08,045 --> 00:17:09,805
Sure, it's worth a try.
380
00:17:09,885 --> 00:17:12,405
Oh! Would you look at that?
381
00:17:12,485 --> 00:17:16,565
-What? What do they say?
-I think-- Now, I can't be certain,
382
00:17:16,645 --> 00:17:20,645
but I think they're saying
you should leave Gerry.
383
00:17:22,125 --> 00:17:24,245
I could have told you that years ago,
and I'm not psychic.
384
00:17:24,325 --> 00:17:25,645
[sighs] Okay.
385
00:17:25,725 --> 00:17:27,845
Look, I've yet to hear
anybody say anything
386
00:17:27,925 --> 00:17:30,885
to convince me that bringing that lad
across the border with us is a good idea.
387
00:17:30,965 --> 00:17:32,005
Shit, he's coming.
388
00:17:35,045 --> 00:17:37,085
I really didn't wanna have to do this.
389
00:17:37,165 --> 00:17:38,885
Jesus Christ!
390
00:17:38,965 --> 00:17:41,525
Get down! Everybody get down!
391
00:17:41,605 --> 00:17:43,845
-Is there something wrong with her?
-Stop that, Erin.
392
00:17:47,965 --> 00:17:49,925
Sorry, Emmett. You were saying?
393
00:17:50,485 --> 00:17:52,285
Didn't wanna put you in this position.
394
00:17:52,365 --> 00:17:55,205
But I can't stress the seriousness
of my situation.
395
00:17:55,285 --> 00:17:56,805
-Anything else?
-Oh, do you know what?
396
00:17:56,885 --> 00:18:00,085
-I wouldn't mind a knickerbocker glory.
-Right.
397
00:18:01,765 --> 00:18:04,845
-You need to help me out here.
-We do that and we're breaking the law.
398
00:18:04,925 --> 00:18:09,005
You recognize the legal system of
a brutal, imperialistic oppressor, do you?
399
00:18:09,085 --> 00:18:11,645
If they can put me in jail for 20 years,
then, yes, Emmett. Yes, I do.
400
00:18:11,725 --> 00:18:14,365
Listen, listen.
Have you killed anyone, son?
401
00:18:14,445 --> 00:18:17,405
No. Well, at least not directly.
402
00:18:17,485 --> 00:18:19,845
Well, there you go. So that settles it.
403
00:18:19,925 --> 00:18:22,045
I don't think that does settle it,
actually, Joe.
404
00:18:22,125 --> 00:18:24,205
You know what's wrong with you, Gerry?
405
00:18:24,285 --> 00:18:26,765
-You're an awful wuss.
-I'm not a wuss.
406
00:18:26,845 --> 00:18:29,405
-You're afraid of your own shadow.
-No, I'm not.
407
00:18:29,485 --> 00:18:31,245
Well, then grow a set of balls
and help the fella out.
408
00:18:31,325 --> 00:18:34,605
I have a set of balls,
thank you very much.
409
00:18:34,685 --> 00:18:37,045
-[Mary] Oh, seriously, Daddy.
-You're even afraid of that wee girl.
410
00:18:37,125 --> 00:18:38,925
-What wee girl?
-That waitress.
411
00:18:39,845 --> 00:18:41,365
You wanted a cup of tea.
412
00:18:41,445 --> 00:18:44,365
She brought you a Coke and you just sat
there and said sweet Fanny Adams.
413
00:18:44,445 --> 00:18:46,325
[snickers] Your granda said "fanny".
414
00:18:46,405 --> 00:18:47,925
Well, that's because I like Coke.
415
00:18:48,005 --> 00:18:50,725
-Her customer service is shocking as well.
-Aye, desperate.
416
00:18:50,805 --> 00:18:53,205
-[Sarah] Someone should say something.
-Aye, Gerry!
417
00:18:53,285 --> 00:18:54,765
Gerry should say something.
418
00:18:55,365 --> 00:18:57,245
I will. No problem.
419
00:18:57,325 --> 00:18:58,525
I'll say something.
420
00:19:01,445 --> 00:19:02,605
Excuse me.
421
00:19:03,565 --> 00:19:04,765
Excuse me, please.
422
00:19:09,525 --> 00:19:10,725
What?
423
00:19:11,285 --> 00:19:13,925
Um, I just wanted to say that,
uh, I, um...
424
00:19:14,005 --> 00:19:17,445
I ordered a tea. You brought me a Coke,
and that's not acceptable.
425
00:19:17,525 --> 00:19:19,925
-But you drank the Coke.
-That's not the point.
426
00:19:21,405 --> 00:19:25,405
And your service has been nothing short
of appalling. Your attitude is worse.
427
00:19:25,485 --> 00:19:26,765
It's simply not good enough.
428
00:19:26,845 --> 00:19:28,325
I'll, uh...
429
00:19:29,045 --> 00:19:30,245
I'll bring you a tea.
430
00:19:30,325 --> 00:19:31,445
You do that.
431
00:19:33,725 --> 00:19:34,885
I'm sorry.
432
00:19:36,325 --> 00:19:37,525
[sobs]
433
00:19:38,245 --> 00:19:40,645
I got a bit of bad news today.
434
00:19:43,045 --> 00:19:45,605
I haven't really been able to focus.
435
00:19:47,485 --> 00:19:49,205
I've been a bit distracted, maybe.
436
00:19:50,885 --> 00:19:52,645
I'm sorry.
437
00:19:52,725 --> 00:19:54,645
-I'll just--
-No, no, no.
438
00:19:54,725 --> 00:19:55,965
Ignore all that.
439
00:19:57,485 --> 00:20:00,405
I'll bring your tea right away, sir.
440
00:20:06,925 --> 00:20:09,565
Well, there was absolutely
no need for that.
441
00:20:09,645 --> 00:20:12,045
-Jesus, Gerry.
-Harsh.
442
00:20:12,125 --> 00:20:13,885
-Awful.
-Poor girl.
443
00:20:13,965 --> 00:20:15,965
I can't believe you did that, Daddy.
444
00:20:16,045 --> 00:20:17,045
I...
445
00:20:17,885 --> 00:20:19,165
You asked me to.
446
00:20:20,605 --> 00:20:22,405
How could I have known?
447
00:20:22,485 --> 00:20:25,045
And would you all just stop
looking at me?
448
00:20:26,485 --> 00:20:28,005
Fine.
449
00:20:28,645 --> 00:20:29,845
Fine.
450
00:20:29,925 --> 00:20:31,965
Do you know what? Fine.
451
00:20:32,805 --> 00:20:35,365
I've had it with the lot of you.
452
00:20:38,125 --> 00:20:42,165
And just for the record back there,
I was being an Australian tourist, okay?
453
00:20:42,245 --> 00:20:46,325
Australian. And I happen to think
that my accent was flawless.
454
00:20:46,405 --> 00:20:49,405
"Excuse me, mate.
Can you help us get out of here?"
455
00:20:51,045 --> 00:20:52,405
Flawless!
456
00:20:56,525 --> 00:20:57,525
Okay.
457
00:20:58,925 --> 00:21:01,205
We have to decide what to do here,
one way or another.
458
00:21:01,285 --> 00:21:02,965
-Let's just vote.
-Leave him!
459
00:21:03,845 --> 00:21:05,645
I vote we run away and leave him.
460
00:21:05,725 --> 00:21:08,765
I vote we take him,
for better or worse and all that.
461
00:21:08,845 --> 00:21:10,045
I vote we take him.
462
00:21:10,125 --> 00:21:12,365
-Me too.
-I can't decide.
463
00:21:12,445 --> 00:21:15,685
I decided, but I'm afraid
to say what I've decided.
464
00:21:16,725 --> 00:21:18,525
Why don't we just toss a coin?
465
00:21:33,765 --> 00:21:34,965
Interesting...
466
00:21:35,045 --> 00:21:38,725
So, heads, the wee RA man comes with us.
467
00:21:38,805 --> 00:21:40,045
-Tails, we leave him.
-Mmm.
468
00:21:40,125 --> 00:21:42,245
-Aye. Ready?
-Go on, then.
469
00:21:42,325 --> 00:21:45,045
[coin clatters]
470
00:21:48,085 --> 00:21:50,925
-What is that, a fish?
-A dolphin, is it?
471
00:21:51,005 --> 00:21:53,565
It sort of looks like Moby Dick, actually.
472
00:21:53,645 --> 00:21:56,325
-Ah, shite I used a punt, didn't I?
-What's on the other side?
473
00:21:56,405 --> 00:21:59,085
-A harp.
-So harp must be the head
474
00:21:59,165 --> 00:22:01,085
-and fish must be the tail?
-Oh, that makes sense.
475
00:22:01,165 --> 00:22:03,285
Yeah, because fish have tails.
476
00:22:03,365 --> 00:22:06,285
-Just do it again with real money?
-This is real money, Sarah.
477
00:22:06,365 --> 00:22:09,725
-You know what I mean, normal money.
-All right. Who has ten pence?
478
00:22:09,805 --> 00:22:10,965
It was him.
479
00:22:11,885 --> 00:22:15,845
The mural on our house, the spray paint,
it was Emmett.
480
00:22:15,925 --> 00:22:19,205
-I can prove it.
-Sly wee bastard.
481
00:22:19,285 --> 00:22:22,685
-You bloody tout.
-Where is Emmett?
482
00:22:23,205 --> 00:22:24,405
There he is.
483
00:22:24,485 --> 00:22:25,925
♪ Yeah, yeah ♪
484
00:22:26,005 --> 00:22:27,845
♪ Yeah ♪
485
00:22:29,365 --> 00:22:31,205
[Mary] Is that Jim's tent?
486
00:22:32,125 --> 00:22:33,485
♪ Yeah, yeah ♪
487
00:22:33,565 --> 00:22:34,845
[sighs]
488
00:22:35,805 --> 00:22:37,165
♪ All right ♪
489
00:22:37,245 --> 00:22:39,285
[Mary] What's he doing?
490
00:22:39,365 --> 00:22:42,805
♪ What a man, what a man, what a man
What a mighty good man ♪
491
00:22:42,885 --> 00:22:45,005
♪ Say it again now ♪
492
00:22:45,085 --> 00:22:48,165
♪ What a man, what a man, what a man
What a mighty good man ♪
493
00:22:48,245 --> 00:22:50,765
♪ He's a mighty, mighty good man ♪
494
00:22:52,045 --> 00:22:53,925
I told you to look after that tent.
495
00:22:54,005 --> 00:22:55,605
No, you didn't.
You told him to look after it.
496
00:22:55,685 --> 00:22:58,365
Aye, blame the wain, big man.
497
00:23:01,805 --> 00:23:03,285
Jesus.
498
00:23:03,365 --> 00:23:05,405
Jim's second-best tent.
499
00:23:06,685 --> 00:23:08,485
How am I gonna break it to him?
500
00:23:08,565 --> 00:23:11,445
♪ My man gives real loving
That's why I call him "killer" ♪
501
00:23:11,525 --> 00:23:14,205
♪ He's not a wham-bam-thank-you-ma'am
He's a thriller ♪
502
00:23:14,285 --> 00:23:16,885
♪ He takes his time
And does everything right ♪
503
00:23:16,965 --> 00:23:19,485
♪ Knocks me out with one shot
For the rest of the night ♪
504
00:23:19,565 --> 00:23:22,405
♪ He's a real smooth brother
Never in a rush ♪
505
00:23:22,485 --> 00:23:25,085
♪ And he gives me goose pimples
With every single touch ♪
506
00:23:25,165 --> 00:23:27,965
♪ Spends quality time with his kids
When he can ♪
507
00:23:28,045 --> 00:23:30,725
♪ Secure in his manhood
'Cause he's a real man ♪
508
00:23:30,805 --> 00:23:32,005
♪ A lover and a fighter... ♪