1 00:00:11,005 --> 00:00:13,805 All I'm saying is I find it difficult to believe. 2 00:00:13,885 --> 00:00:16,045 But it's the truth, Mary. 3 00:00:16,125 --> 00:00:17,925 -[Mary] Really? -Honest to God. 4 00:00:18,005 --> 00:00:21,365 So, if I was to go next door and open that washing basket of yours... 5 00:00:21,445 --> 00:00:25,845 You wouldn't find any darks. 6 00:00:25,925 --> 00:00:27,885 What, do you think I'm holding out on you? 7 00:00:27,965 --> 00:00:29,165 I don't know what to believe. 8 00:00:29,245 --> 00:00:32,005 Listen, I've plenty of coloreds. You're welcome to my coloreds. 9 00:00:32,085 --> 00:00:34,285 I'm not interested in your coloreds, Sarah. 10 00:00:34,365 --> 00:00:36,165 It's darks I need. Oh, listen, Da. 11 00:00:36,245 --> 00:00:38,405 Do not be starting at me about darks, Mary. 12 00:00:38,485 --> 00:00:40,645 I've given you whatever darks I have. 13 00:00:40,725 --> 00:00:42,405 Stick on a half load and be done with it, woman. 14 00:00:42,485 --> 00:00:45,565 A half load goes against everything I stand for. You know that, Da. 15 00:00:45,645 --> 00:00:47,605 You away to do the big shop, Da? 16 00:00:47,685 --> 00:00:50,125 Aye. Gerry! Gerry! 17 00:00:50,205 --> 00:00:53,045 I don't see why that useless drip you call a husband has to be coming. 18 00:00:53,125 --> 00:00:56,405 Because someone needs to drive and you've been suspended, again. 19 00:00:56,485 --> 00:00:58,405 -What did you do this time, Daddy? -[Joe] Nothing! 20 00:00:58,485 --> 00:01:00,245 It's RUC discrimination. 21 00:01:00,325 --> 00:01:02,325 The only crime I committed was to be born a Catholic. 22 00:01:02,405 --> 00:01:04,405 Gerry's never been suspended and he's a Catholic. 23 00:01:04,485 --> 00:01:06,085 He's also a prick, but that's by the by. 24 00:01:06,165 --> 00:01:07,805 -Cut that out, Da. -Found some. 25 00:01:07,885 --> 00:01:09,365 -Oh! -Found some, Mary. 26 00:01:13,085 --> 00:01:15,445 -Great. -Right. That's us away. 27 00:01:15,525 --> 00:01:16,525 Have a nice time. 28 00:01:16,605 --> 00:01:19,125 Tell that Free State fucker to shift his hole. 29 00:01:19,205 --> 00:01:21,125 [door opens] 30 00:01:21,205 --> 00:01:22,845 I'm sure we will. 31 00:01:23,525 --> 00:01:26,325 There's no shame in doing a half load, you know, Mary. 32 00:01:26,725 --> 00:01:29,365 I can't, Sarah. I physically can't. 33 00:01:29,445 --> 00:01:31,405 [overlapping chattering] 34 00:01:31,485 --> 00:01:33,725 ["Ice, Ice, Baby" by Vanilla Ice plays] 35 00:01:33,805 --> 00:01:35,965 ♪ Ice, ice, baby ♪ 36 00:01:37,965 --> 00:01:40,405 ♪ Ice, ice, baby All right, stop ♪ 37 00:01:40,485 --> 00:01:42,845 Hey! Let me look at that. 38 00:01:43,885 --> 00:01:45,205 You call that clean, do you? 39 00:01:45,285 --> 00:01:48,005 Different standards, you see, Mary. 40 00:01:48,085 --> 00:01:49,885 You're not in England now, son. 41 00:01:49,965 --> 00:01:51,365 Orla was the one who washed it. 42 00:01:51,445 --> 00:01:53,605 Oh, okay. 43 00:01:54,045 --> 00:01:56,965 Okay. I have had it with you, James, 44 00:01:57,045 --> 00:02:01,885 and your picking, picking, picking, and I won't take it anymore. 45 00:02:01,965 --> 00:02:04,285 -Do you hear me? -Is everything okay, Orla? 46 00:02:04,365 --> 00:02:05,805 [Sarah] I warned you, Orla. 47 00:02:05,885 --> 00:02:09,005 You're putting yourself under too much pressure. 48 00:02:09,085 --> 00:02:10,205 Can't fail, Mammy. 49 00:02:10,285 --> 00:02:12,205 Since when have you been troubled by exams? 50 00:02:12,285 --> 00:02:15,085 Exams? What are you on about, Erin? 51 00:02:15,165 --> 00:02:17,485 -What are you on about, Orla? -Step. 52 00:02:17,565 --> 00:02:19,245 -I'm sorry? -Step aerobics. 53 00:02:19,325 --> 00:02:21,485 Orla's got really into step aerobics. 54 00:02:21,565 --> 00:02:23,765 Her instructor says she's a natural. 55 00:02:23,845 --> 00:02:26,005 Says she's got what it takes to go all the way. 56 00:02:26,085 --> 00:02:27,405 All the way in step aerobics? 57 00:02:27,485 --> 00:02:29,325 But it's out of control now, Mary. 58 00:02:29,405 --> 00:02:31,605 She's stepping morning, noon and night. 59 00:02:31,685 --> 00:02:34,085 Apart from anything else, it's dangerous. 60 00:02:34,165 --> 00:02:36,325 She nearly came through the ceiling yesterday. 61 00:02:36,405 --> 00:02:39,165 Okay, she might be gifted, 62 00:02:39,245 --> 00:02:42,005 but I just want her to have a normal childhood. 63 00:02:42,445 --> 00:02:44,725 I won't give it up. I can't. 64 00:02:44,805 --> 00:02:46,965 Listen to yourself, love. 65 00:02:47,045 --> 00:02:49,245 Now, whites. 66 00:02:50,885 --> 00:02:52,165 ♪ Word to your mother ♪ 67 00:02:52,245 --> 00:02:56,245 ♪ Ice, ice, baby Too cold ♪ 68 00:02:56,325 --> 00:02:59,925 ♪ Ice, ice, baby Too cold, too cold ♪ 69 00:03:00,005 --> 00:03:04,525 ♪ Ice, ice, baby Too cold, too cold ♪ 70 00:03:04,605 --> 00:03:07,885 ♪ Ice, ice, baby Too cold, too cold ♪ 71 00:03:16,165 --> 00:03:17,405 I got my eye on you, boy. 72 00:03:18,005 --> 00:03:19,125 Jesus, Joe. 73 00:03:19,365 --> 00:03:22,045 What are you doing here? Meeting your fancy woman, I suppose. 74 00:03:22,125 --> 00:03:24,805 No, I'm not. I'm collecting Mary's photographs. 75 00:03:24,885 --> 00:03:28,125 And if I was having an illicit rendezvous with my mistress, 76 00:03:28,205 --> 00:03:29,765 I'm not sure that the supermarket 77 00:03:29,845 --> 00:03:32,005 that my father-in-law is doing the big shop in 78 00:03:32,085 --> 00:03:34,725 -would be the best place for it, really. -"Quinn", you said? 79 00:03:34,805 --> 00:03:36,365 -That's right. Great. -Here we go. 80 00:03:36,445 --> 00:03:39,845 That'll be £3.75, please. And have you got your wee docket there? 81 00:03:39,925 --> 00:03:41,765 -Yeah, I do. -It's a wee red slip of paper, 82 00:03:41,845 --> 00:03:43,285 -about yea big. -Yeah. 83 00:03:43,365 --> 00:03:44,965 -Dark blue lettering, it has. -Yeah, I know. 84 00:03:45,045 --> 00:03:46,525 Not a navy blue, more like a royal blue. 85 00:03:46,605 --> 00:03:47,805 I know what it looks like. 86 00:03:47,885 --> 00:03:50,085 Times New Roman, I believe the font is called. 87 00:03:50,165 --> 00:03:52,845 -I just can't find it. -Prick. 88 00:03:52,925 --> 00:03:56,965 Uh, look, I'm sorry. Do you absolutely need it? 89 00:03:57,045 --> 00:03:59,685 I'm afraid I do, sir, yes. Proof of ID. 90 00:03:59,765 --> 00:04:01,645 But you have my surname written on it there. 91 00:04:02,165 --> 00:04:03,405 How do I know that's your surname? 92 00:04:03,485 --> 00:04:05,045 Because I told you it was my surname. 93 00:04:05,125 --> 00:04:07,245 -You could be lying. -Why would I lie? 94 00:04:07,325 --> 00:04:09,125 To get your hands on someone else's photos. 95 00:04:09,725 --> 00:04:11,365 Why would I want somebody else's photos? 96 00:04:11,445 --> 00:04:13,005 Who would pay for somebody else's photos? 97 00:04:13,085 --> 00:04:16,405 -Stalker, maybe. -Yeah, exactly. Very good, sir. 98 00:04:16,485 --> 00:04:18,565 -A stalker. -I'm not a stalker. 99 00:04:18,645 --> 00:04:22,605 Look, why don't you just go home and have a wee look for your wee docket? 100 00:04:22,685 --> 00:04:23,885 No. This is ridiculous. 101 00:04:23,965 --> 00:04:26,445 Just open that up and take out one of the photos. 102 00:04:29,405 --> 00:04:31,965 You see? That's me wife there. 103 00:04:32,045 --> 00:04:33,645 How do I know you're not just telling me that? 104 00:04:33,725 --> 00:04:35,645 'Cause that's me standing beside her. 105 00:04:37,925 --> 00:04:39,645 I suppose you do look a bit like this man. 106 00:04:39,725 --> 00:04:41,245 I am this man. 107 00:04:42,405 --> 00:04:45,445 -It could be you. -It's definitely me. 108 00:04:45,525 --> 00:04:48,765 My name is Gerry Quinn. This is my father-in-law, Joe. 109 00:04:48,845 --> 00:04:49,965 He can vouch for me. 110 00:04:50,805 --> 00:04:53,605 I've never seen this man before in my life. 111 00:04:54,405 --> 00:04:56,165 No docket, no photographs. 112 00:04:56,245 --> 00:04:59,645 ♪ We'll be together Like birds of a feather ♪ 113 00:04:59,725 --> 00:05:01,085 -♪ Like some things are meant to be ♪ 114 00:05:01,165 --> 00:05:01,965 -Great. 115 00:05:02,045 --> 00:05:05,525 ♪ One way or another ♪ 116 00:05:05,605 --> 00:05:07,525 ♪ You know we'll be together ♪ 117 00:05:07,605 --> 00:05:10,845 ♪ Because I know he loves me ♪ 118 00:05:11,685 --> 00:05:15,965 ♪ I'm sending a message to Anyone that flirts with you ♪ 119 00:05:16,045 --> 00:05:19,125 Ten copies of each, please, and Jenny wants a tea. 120 00:05:24,445 --> 00:05:25,645 Okay, guys. 121 00:05:25,725 --> 00:05:30,165 Don't forget, entries for our "searching for myself " writing competition 122 00:05:30,245 --> 00:05:31,485 are to be placed here. 123 00:05:31,565 --> 00:05:34,525 If you could all spread the word, that'd be fabby-dabby-do. 124 00:05:34,605 --> 00:05:38,005 -Fabby-dabby-dick. -Can I have your attention, please? 125 00:05:38,085 --> 00:05:39,405 Get down. Get down. 126 00:05:42,045 --> 00:05:44,365 I've received a phone call from Louise Kerr's mother, 127 00:05:44,445 --> 00:05:45,925 -and it's not looking great. -Oh, God. 128 00:05:46,005 --> 00:05:47,525 I just can't believe it. 129 00:05:47,605 --> 00:05:50,165 It's unlikely she'll be returning to school before the end of the year, 130 00:05:50,245 --> 00:05:51,925 so I think the only thing we can do now is-- 131 00:05:52,005 --> 00:05:54,085 -Pray for her? -No. What use would that do? 132 00:05:54,165 --> 00:05:55,725 No, I think the best thing we can do 133 00:05:55,805 --> 00:05:58,285 is decide who will fulfill the role of editor now. 134 00:05:59,365 --> 00:06:03,165 Sister Michael, some of us have actually already discussed this eventuality, 135 00:06:03,725 --> 00:06:06,085 and the thing is, well, nobody's comfortable 136 00:06:06,165 --> 00:06:07,365 stepping into Louise's shoes. 137 00:06:07,445 --> 00:06:10,045 It feels a bit, sort of, disrespectful. 138 00:06:10,125 --> 00:06:12,725 We think this issue should be canceled. 139 00:06:12,805 --> 00:06:15,445 Right, well, fair enough, if nobody is willing to take her place-- 140 00:06:15,525 --> 00:06:17,165 -I'll do it. -Excuse me? 141 00:06:18,325 --> 00:06:21,285 I'll take her place. I'll step into her shoes. 142 00:06:21,365 --> 00:06:22,885 -I'll do it. -Really? 143 00:06:23,445 --> 00:06:25,885 -Absolutely. -[Jenny] No, you can't. 144 00:06:25,965 --> 00:06:28,805 We are making a statement. You're ruining our statement. 145 00:06:28,885 --> 00:06:32,085 Look, girls, I know Louise meant a lot to you all. 146 00:06:32,165 --> 00:06:34,845 -She's not dead, Erin. -Well, not yet. 147 00:06:35,685 --> 00:06:38,285 Hopefully, she won't, you know, die, 148 00:06:38,365 --> 00:06:41,725 but if she does, the show must go on. 149 00:06:41,805 --> 00:06:43,485 Isn't that right, Sister Michael? 150 00:06:44,125 --> 00:06:45,125 You terrify me. 151 00:06:45,205 --> 00:06:46,645 You can't be the editor. 152 00:06:46,725 --> 00:06:48,445 You've never written an article, Erin. 153 00:06:48,525 --> 00:06:51,365 That's because I can't get anything past Rupert Murdoch over there. 154 00:06:51,445 --> 00:06:54,485 This isn't fair. You can't let it happen, Sister. 155 00:06:54,565 --> 00:06:58,125 I know, but I'm bored now, so it looks like I probably will. 156 00:06:58,205 --> 00:06:59,405 Good luck, all. 157 00:06:59,485 --> 00:07:02,085 ♪ Yeah ♪ 158 00:07:02,165 --> 00:07:05,405 How could you have lost the wee docket, Gerry? 159 00:07:05,485 --> 00:07:07,605 Aye, everybody knows you have to hang on to the wee docket. 160 00:07:07,685 --> 00:07:09,925 Look, I've said that I'm sorry. 161 00:07:10,005 --> 00:07:13,125 They were my birthday photos, for God's sake. 162 00:07:13,205 --> 00:07:15,285 There's definitely grounds for an annulment here, Mary. 163 00:07:15,365 --> 00:07:16,925 I mean, you only turn 33 once. 164 00:07:17,005 --> 00:07:19,125 You've been 33 a few times now, in fairness, Mary. 165 00:07:19,205 --> 00:07:21,245 Well, aren't you a brave man, given the circumstances? 166 00:07:21,325 --> 00:07:23,405 Mary, come on. Would you not reconsider? 167 00:07:23,485 --> 00:07:25,005 -[Mary] No, Da. -[Joe] Please, love. 168 00:07:25,085 --> 00:07:27,205 -Just the once. -I'm not letting you hit him, Da. 169 00:07:27,285 --> 00:07:29,965 I'm devastated. That was when I lost the half-stone 170 00:07:30,045 --> 00:07:31,805 doing the Rosemary Conley, as well. 171 00:07:31,885 --> 00:07:34,325 My collar bone was sort of poking through my skin. 172 00:07:34,405 --> 00:07:35,645 Do you remember, Mary? 173 00:07:35,725 --> 00:07:37,725 Aye, you were far too thin, Sarah. 174 00:07:37,805 --> 00:07:39,405 No, it was. It was brilliant, 175 00:07:39,485 --> 00:07:42,605 and now I haven't got so much as a photograph to look back on. 176 00:07:42,685 --> 00:07:45,325 Look, it's gone. The docket's gone. 177 00:07:45,405 --> 00:07:47,965 -Why don't we just move on? -Why don't you just move out? 178 00:07:48,045 --> 00:07:50,565 Guess who's been made editor of the school magazine! 179 00:07:51,805 --> 00:07:54,085 Me! I have. 180 00:07:54,165 --> 00:07:56,925 -Can you believe it? -[Mary] Oh, Christ. My whites. 181 00:07:59,485 --> 00:08:02,245 I think I know what happened to the wee docket. 182 00:08:03,405 --> 00:08:05,885 ["If My Friends Could See Me Now" playing] 183 00:08:08,805 --> 00:08:10,045 [school bell rings] 184 00:08:10,125 --> 00:08:14,005 ♪ If they could see me now That old gang of mine ♪ 185 00:08:14,085 --> 00:08:17,725 ♪ I'm eatin' fancy chow And drinkin' fancy wine ♪ 186 00:08:17,805 --> 00:08:21,285 ♪ I'd like those stumblebums To see for a fact ♪ 187 00:08:21,365 --> 00:08:24,965 ♪ The kind of top-drawer First-rate chums I attract ♪ 188 00:08:25,045 --> 00:08:28,685 ♪ All I can say is "Wow, look at where I am" ♪ 189 00:08:28,765 --> 00:08:32,645 ♪ I landed, pow Right in a pot of jam ♪ 190 00:08:33,605 --> 00:08:35,125 Dick. 191 00:08:36,245 --> 00:08:38,045 ♪ If my friends could see me-- ♪ 192 00:08:38,125 --> 00:08:39,485 Good morning, team! 193 00:08:40,205 --> 00:08:41,845 [door closes] 194 00:08:42,365 --> 00:08:43,485 Where is everyone? 195 00:08:45,005 --> 00:08:46,205 They quit. 196 00:08:46,285 --> 00:08:48,165 What? You're not serious. 197 00:08:48,245 --> 00:08:50,885 They all think what you did was pretty out of order, Erin. 198 00:08:50,965 --> 00:08:52,925 -I see. -And that you're a bit ruthless. 199 00:08:53,005 --> 00:08:54,525 -Okay. -And cold. 200 00:08:54,605 --> 00:08:57,045 Right. -Nobody really has any respect for you. 201 00:08:57,125 --> 00:08:58,925 Yes, all right, thank you. 202 00:09:01,045 --> 00:09:03,725 Well, I appreciate that you're still here, Aisling. 203 00:09:03,805 --> 00:09:05,445 I really do. I'm not gonna lie. 204 00:09:05,525 --> 00:09:08,245 Just the two of us, it's gonna be tough, 205 00:09:08,325 --> 00:09:12,445 but if you're not afraid of the challenge, then neither am I. 206 00:09:12,525 --> 00:09:16,445 Yeah. I only came back because I forgot my inhaler. 207 00:09:18,285 --> 00:09:20,045 Fine. Puff off. 208 00:09:20,125 --> 00:09:22,205 I don't need you. I don't need any of you. 209 00:09:22,285 --> 00:09:26,605 I've got my own people, and we'll show you up for the amateurs that you are. 210 00:09:26,685 --> 00:09:29,525 My people are shit hot. Do you hear me? 211 00:09:29,605 --> 00:09:31,085 Shit hot! 212 00:09:31,165 --> 00:09:34,565 [James] Okay. Right. Okay. 213 00:09:34,645 --> 00:09:35,925 How do I do a new line again? 214 00:09:36,005 --> 00:09:37,925 [Michelle] Return. Jesus, James. 215 00:09:38,005 --> 00:09:39,605 -How many times? -Return. 216 00:09:40,845 --> 00:09:42,485 -I can't understand. -[copier beeping] 217 00:09:42,565 --> 00:09:44,925 -Come on! -Seriously? 218 00:09:45,005 --> 00:09:46,445 Will you be quiet? 219 00:09:46,525 --> 00:09:49,005 I'm trying to get my creative juices flowing over here. 220 00:09:49,085 --> 00:09:50,965 Okay. You're gonna have to never say that again. 221 00:09:51,045 --> 00:09:52,045 Enough. Come on. 222 00:09:52,125 --> 00:09:53,805 We need to make a call on our late story. 223 00:09:55,965 --> 00:09:58,245 Okay. So, let's... 224 00:09:59,165 --> 00:10:00,445 Would you stop doing that, please? 225 00:10:00,525 --> 00:10:03,365 I can't let my heart rate drop, I'm afraid, Erin. 226 00:10:03,445 --> 00:10:06,045 Let's just run through some of our favorite ideas. 227 00:10:06,125 --> 00:10:08,365 So, firstly, animals. 228 00:10:08,445 --> 00:10:11,365 -Animals. Can someone elaborate? -[Erin] Yeah. 229 00:10:11,445 --> 00:10:15,565 So, this concept would focus on animals, 230 00:10:15,645 --> 00:10:19,525 alongside pictures of famous people who look a bit like animals. 231 00:10:19,605 --> 00:10:21,885 -Michelle Pfeiffer looks like a cat. -Exactly. 232 00:10:21,965 --> 00:10:24,565 [James] Okay. Right. Animals. 233 00:10:24,645 --> 00:10:26,565 Uh, what's the next one? Shoes of the-- 234 00:10:26,645 --> 00:10:28,725 -Shoes of the world. -And that involves...? 235 00:10:28,805 --> 00:10:33,565 So, this piece would concentrate on different shoes from around the world, 236 00:10:33,645 --> 00:10:39,165 sitting alongside pictures of, you know, different shoes from around the world. 237 00:10:39,885 --> 00:10:40,845 Okay. 238 00:10:40,925 --> 00:10:42,925 So, like, how in Russia they wear boots because-- 239 00:10:43,005 --> 00:10:45,605 -It's Baltic. -And in India they wear sandals because-- 240 00:10:45,685 --> 00:10:47,045 It's boiling. 241 00:10:47,965 --> 00:10:49,565 So that's it, is it? 242 00:10:50,685 --> 00:10:52,005 Thoughts? 243 00:10:52,085 --> 00:10:55,405 I'm not totally convinced by either of them, if I'm honest. 244 00:11:00,045 --> 00:11:01,845 Oh, my God. They're shit. 245 00:11:03,645 --> 00:11:05,645 They're absolutely shit. 246 00:11:07,365 --> 00:11:10,205 How can we print this utter shit? 247 00:11:10,285 --> 00:11:12,685 -Okay, don't panic. -Don't panic? 248 00:11:12,765 --> 00:11:14,445 Don't panic, James? 249 00:11:14,525 --> 00:11:17,365 "Shoes of the world". What does that even mean? 250 00:11:17,445 --> 00:11:19,685 -Yeah, we're fucked. -[Erin] No. It's okay. 251 00:11:19,765 --> 00:11:21,245 It's gonna be okay. 252 00:11:21,325 --> 00:11:25,125 We-we-we just need to change our approach slightly. 253 00:11:25,205 --> 00:11:26,805 The writing competition? 254 00:11:26,885 --> 00:11:29,685 Exactly. There's bound to be something in here we can steal. 255 00:11:29,765 --> 00:11:31,605 We can just steal something, 256 00:11:31,685 --> 00:11:33,605 and we'll-we'll just steal someone's idea 257 00:11:33,685 --> 00:11:35,085 and we'll pass it off as our own. 258 00:11:35,165 --> 00:11:37,725 Journalistic integrity at its finest. 259 00:11:37,805 --> 00:11:39,485 "Searching for Myself"? What a load of balls. 260 00:11:40,845 --> 00:11:42,925 -Oh, my God. -Let's see. 261 00:11:43,525 --> 00:11:46,285 "Suffocation: The Secret Life of a Gay Teenager". 262 00:11:47,845 --> 00:11:49,285 It's anonymous. 263 00:11:51,165 --> 00:11:52,805 -It wasn't me. -[Erin] No. 264 00:11:52,885 --> 00:11:56,805 This was written by a girl. A real-life lesbian walks among us. 265 00:11:56,885 --> 00:11:58,765 I don't really believe in lesbians. 266 00:11:58,845 --> 00:12:00,805 This is perfect. We'll just print this. 267 00:12:00,885 --> 00:12:03,325 -Come on, Erin, you can't do that. -Why not? 268 00:12:03,405 --> 00:12:05,565 We'll get in trouble, real trouble, big trouble. 269 00:12:05,645 --> 00:12:07,365 You're not afraid of a bit of controversy? 270 00:12:07,445 --> 00:12:09,845 Yes. Actually, yes, I am. 271 00:12:09,925 --> 00:12:12,365 Something like this could go on our permanent record, Erin. 272 00:12:12,445 --> 00:12:14,125 And what's more important, Clare? 273 00:12:14,205 --> 00:12:18,885 Your permanent record or... telling this poor girl's story? 274 00:12:18,965 --> 00:12:21,165 My permanent record. 275 00:12:21,245 --> 00:12:23,565 -Count me out. -Fine. 276 00:12:23,645 --> 00:12:25,965 Well, this issue of The Habit will go down in history! 277 00:12:26,045 --> 00:12:27,725 In history, I say! 278 00:12:28,365 --> 00:12:30,285 You seriously need to chill the fuck out. 279 00:12:35,005 --> 00:12:36,565 [Sister Michael] Not happening. 280 00:12:37,205 --> 00:12:39,845 -But, Sister Michael-- -Don't even think about arguing. 281 00:12:39,925 --> 00:12:41,685 I can't be doing with the board of governors 282 00:12:41,765 --> 00:12:43,605 getting wind of something like this at the moment. 283 00:12:43,685 --> 00:12:45,485 They're a thorn in my ass at the best of times. 284 00:12:45,565 --> 00:12:48,645 I mean, for God's sake, Erin, what happened to "Shoes of the World"? 285 00:12:48,725 --> 00:12:50,165 This is more important. 286 00:12:50,245 --> 00:12:52,965 This is about, you know, gay rights. 287 00:12:53,045 --> 00:12:56,645 I see. And I take it that's what the camp shirts are in aid of. 288 00:12:56,725 --> 00:12:58,765 A very serious uniform violation, by the way. 289 00:12:58,845 --> 00:13:00,925 But let's take one problem at a time, shall we? 290 00:13:01,005 --> 00:13:02,845 This isn't a problem, Sister. 291 00:13:02,925 --> 00:13:05,445 This is groundbreaking journalism. 292 00:13:06,085 --> 00:13:09,245 They are not to be distributed tomorrow. Do I make myself clear? 293 00:13:09,325 --> 00:13:10,885 But that's censorship. 294 00:13:11,645 --> 00:13:13,405 Well done. You are correct. 295 00:13:13,485 --> 00:13:15,245 You're being censored, now go. 296 00:13:23,005 --> 00:13:25,805 You see, I was so focused on pissing off that gobshite 297 00:13:25,885 --> 00:13:28,685 my eldest girl's unfortunate enough to be married to, 298 00:13:28,765 --> 00:13:30,965 that I completely lost sight of the fact 299 00:13:31,045 --> 00:13:33,445 that they were really her birthday photos. 300 00:13:33,525 --> 00:13:35,405 And my other girl, my younger girl, 301 00:13:35,485 --> 00:13:39,445 well, she was looking very slim at the time, so go and grab them for me, 302 00:13:39,525 --> 00:13:41,125 there's a good fella. 303 00:13:41,205 --> 00:13:42,645 I can't accept that. 304 00:13:43,285 --> 00:13:46,165 I think something's been lost in translation here, boy. 305 00:13:47,485 --> 00:13:49,445 Here, Daddy. Get a whiff of that. 306 00:13:50,565 --> 00:13:52,765 -Oh, that's very nice, love. -It's you. 307 00:13:54,685 --> 00:13:56,765 -[Sarah] What? -The photographs. 308 00:13:56,845 --> 00:13:58,365 Well, I remember you. 309 00:13:58,445 --> 00:13:59,765 I couldn't forget you. 310 00:14:00,765 --> 00:14:02,765 Hope you don't mind me saying this, 311 00:14:02,845 --> 00:14:05,285 but you have a cracking clavicle. 312 00:14:07,565 --> 00:14:09,005 I don't mind, Ciaran. 313 00:14:09,565 --> 00:14:12,645 I don't mind at all. 314 00:14:14,365 --> 00:14:16,045 Oh, for Christ's sake. 315 00:14:16,765 --> 00:14:21,085 It's wrong. I mean, my God, the injustice of it all. 316 00:14:21,165 --> 00:14:24,285 You should get that one framed as a wee reminder of your night, Mary. 317 00:14:24,365 --> 00:14:25,525 I'm not in that one. 318 00:14:25,605 --> 00:14:27,845 No, but it's stunning of me. 319 00:14:27,925 --> 00:14:30,085 -It is indeed. -[Joe] Hey, boy. 320 00:14:30,165 --> 00:14:32,445 It's dinner she invited you round for, not an orgy. 321 00:14:32,525 --> 00:14:36,565 She basically told us we can't print the story because it's about a lesbian. 322 00:14:36,645 --> 00:14:39,725 Do you not think there's an awful lot of lesbians about nowadays? 323 00:14:39,805 --> 00:14:41,725 You can't move for lesbians. 324 00:14:41,805 --> 00:14:44,005 It's wall-to-wall lesbians out there. 325 00:14:44,085 --> 00:14:45,525 -Really? -[Joe] It's true. 326 00:14:45,605 --> 00:14:47,405 Brigitte Gallagher, she's a lesbian. 327 00:14:47,485 --> 00:14:49,365 Brigitte Gallagher, who works in the post office? 328 00:14:49,445 --> 00:14:52,285 -I believe so. -Is she not a vegetarian, Da? 329 00:14:52,925 --> 00:14:55,125 Sorry, you're right. Vegetarian, Brigitte is. 330 00:14:55,925 --> 00:14:58,485 Well, it's an easy mistake to make, Joe. 331 00:14:59,085 --> 00:15:00,285 Can I call you Joe? 332 00:15:00,365 --> 00:15:02,805 -No. -Right. 333 00:15:03,765 --> 00:15:04,925 Welcome to the club, Ciaran. 334 00:15:05,005 --> 00:15:07,645 I'm gonna have to make a stand about this, Mammy. 335 00:15:07,725 --> 00:15:09,165 Ah, no, you won't, Erin. 336 00:15:09,245 --> 00:15:14,965 The school is trying to erase this young girl's experience, all because she's gay. 337 00:15:15,045 --> 00:15:17,525 I mean, what if it were me? 338 00:15:17,605 --> 00:15:19,045 What if it were Orla? 339 00:15:19,125 --> 00:15:20,965 Fine, stick up for the wee lesbian. 340 00:15:21,845 --> 00:15:26,085 I just don't understand what they eat. 341 00:15:26,605 --> 00:15:28,685 ["Let's Talk About Sex" by Salt-N-Pepa plays] 342 00:15:28,765 --> 00:15:30,125 Read all about the wee dyke. 343 00:15:30,205 --> 00:15:31,805 We will not be censored! 344 00:15:31,885 --> 00:15:33,845 Lesbians really do exist! 345 00:15:33,925 --> 00:15:38,365 I support gays, even though I, myself, am not actually gay! 346 00:15:38,445 --> 00:15:40,525 -Come on, Clare. -I don't wanna get involved. 347 00:15:40,605 --> 00:15:42,965 -I'm sorry. -Coward! 348 00:15:43,045 --> 00:15:45,845 ♪ Come on Let's talk about sex, baby ♪ 349 00:15:45,925 --> 00:15:48,045 ♪ Let's talk about you and me ♪ 350 00:15:48,125 --> 00:15:50,125 ♪ Let's talk about All the good things... ♪ 351 00:15:50,205 --> 00:15:51,405 What's going on? 352 00:15:51,485 --> 00:15:55,285 Erin Quinn and her friends are handing out their magazine. 353 00:15:55,365 --> 00:15:57,445 They're ignoring the ban, Sister. 354 00:15:57,525 --> 00:15:59,605 You need to put a stop to it. 355 00:16:03,685 --> 00:16:05,325 Sister, didn't you hear me? 356 00:16:05,405 --> 00:16:08,285 Do you know what, Jenny? I don't think I did. 357 00:16:11,885 --> 00:16:14,565 -Isn't this mad? -It's all anyone's talking about. 358 00:16:14,645 --> 00:16:17,085 Everyone's buzzing to find out who she is. 359 00:16:17,165 --> 00:16:20,765 Well, if she ever does reveal herself, she'll basically be a celebrity. 360 00:16:22,925 --> 00:16:24,965 Excuse me. Excuse me, everybody! 361 00:16:25,045 --> 00:16:28,805 Excuse me. Excuse me. [clears throat] 362 00:16:29,565 --> 00:16:32,325 I just wanna say, that if you're looking for the wee lezzer, 363 00:16:32,405 --> 00:16:35,285 look no further, because here she is. 364 00:16:36,285 --> 00:16:39,365 Love women. Can't get enough of the ladies. 365 00:16:39,445 --> 00:16:41,645 Big fan of the fandango. 366 00:16:41,725 --> 00:16:43,845 -Huge. Massive. -[girl 1] Aye, so's me ma. 367 00:16:43,925 --> 00:16:45,005 Aye, good one. 368 00:16:45,085 --> 00:16:48,005 -[girl 2] You're talking shite. -Fuck off. 369 00:16:48,085 --> 00:16:51,685 ["Girls and Boys" by Blur plays] 370 00:16:52,405 --> 00:16:56,405 -Hi. -It's crawled out from under its rock? 371 00:16:56,485 --> 00:16:59,805 -You should be ashamed of yourself. -I know. I'm sorry. 372 00:16:59,885 --> 00:17:01,285 It all just made me a bit nervous. 373 00:17:01,365 --> 00:17:04,325 Everything makes you nervous, Clare. You're a walking cack attack. 374 00:17:04,405 --> 00:17:06,245 I can't help that. It's the way God made me. 375 00:17:06,325 --> 00:17:10,205 Michelle's running round saying it's her, that she wrote the story, 376 00:17:10,285 --> 00:17:11,605 that she's the wee lesbian. 377 00:17:11,685 --> 00:17:13,005 As if, like. 378 00:17:13,085 --> 00:17:15,125 -There'd be more chance of it being you. -It is me. 379 00:17:15,205 --> 00:17:17,165 No, I mean, I'd be less surprised if it was you. 380 00:17:17,245 --> 00:17:19,045 -It is. -No, it's not, but if it was-- 381 00:17:19,125 --> 00:17:21,565 Erin, it's me. 382 00:17:21,645 --> 00:17:24,125 I'm the wee... lesbian. 383 00:17:24,205 --> 00:17:26,725 -So you are, Clare. -I'm not joking. 384 00:17:29,045 --> 00:17:31,725 You're... you're a lesbian? 385 00:17:31,805 --> 00:17:34,165 I've never been brave enough to say it out loud before, 386 00:17:34,245 --> 00:17:37,725 but I think that's why I wrote the story, and then it all got too real. 387 00:17:37,805 --> 00:17:41,005 I got too scared, but now, well... 388 00:17:41,085 --> 00:17:43,325 you made me realize it's all okay. 389 00:17:43,885 --> 00:17:44,925 Don't blame me. 390 00:17:45,525 --> 00:17:46,365 What? 391 00:17:46,445 --> 00:17:47,765 You fancy girls? 392 00:17:47,845 --> 00:17:50,245 Well, that's sort of an entry level requirement, Erin. 393 00:17:50,325 --> 00:17:51,845 -I think I'm gonna boke. -Do you mind? 394 00:17:51,925 --> 00:17:54,125 -I'm trying to come out to you. -Well, don't. 395 00:17:54,205 --> 00:17:55,405 Don't come out. Go back in. 396 00:17:55,485 --> 00:17:57,125 I don't wanna go back in. 397 00:17:57,205 --> 00:18:01,605 Well, I'm sorry, Clare, but I'm just not interested in you, not like that. 398 00:18:01,685 --> 00:18:04,205 "Not interested in you like that." Look at the state of you. 399 00:18:04,285 --> 00:18:05,965 Oh, come off it. 400 00:18:06,045 --> 00:18:09,325 Your arrogance is staggering, Erin. 401 00:18:09,405 --> 00:18:11,525 Well, you know what else is staggering? Your gayness. 402 00:18:12,445 --> 00:18:14,685 I really thought you'd understand. 403 00:18:17,525 --> 00:18:18,845 ["Push It" by Salt-N-Pepa plays] 404 00:18:18,925 --> 00:18:20,565 ♪ Push it real good ♪ 405 00:18:20,645 --> 00:18:23,045 ♪ Ah, push it ♪ 406 00:18:27,965 --> 00:18:29,405 ♪ Pick up on this ♪ 407 00:18:30,365 --> 00:18:32,645 She won't even talk to me. 408 00:18:32,725 --> 00:18:35,565 She doesn't even want to sit beside me. 409 00:18:35,645 --> 00:18:38,845 In French, she moved next to Kiefer Callaghan, 410 00:18:38,925 --> 00:18:42,885 so things must be really bad, because Kiefer reeks of piss. 411 00:18:42,965 --> 00:18:45,205 Christ's sake. Is this bastard living with us now? 412 00:18:45,285 --> 00:18:47,645 -Daddy's dead funny, isn't he? -Yeah. 413 00:18:49,125 --> 00:18:52,925 -I just want my old friend back. -She hasn't gone anywhere, love. 414 00:18:54,765 --> 00:18:56,045 ["Money" by DJ Raw Trax plays] 415 00:18:56,125 --> 00:18:57,565 ♪ Yeah ♪ 416 00:18:57,645 --> 00:18:59,845 ♪ I make money Like so what? ♪ 417 00:18:59,925 --> 00:19:02,645 ♪ I make money Like so what? ♪ 418 00:19:02,725 --> 00:19:05,525 ♪ I make money Like so what? ♪ 419 00:19:05,605 --> 00:19:08,085 ♪ Money so phat That it got its own guts ♪ 420 00:19:08,165 --> 00:19:09,845 -Can you blame her? -Ignore him, Erin. 421 00:19:09,925 --> 00:19:11,485 These gays, they all stick together. 422 00:19:11,565 --> 00:19:13,165 I'm not gay. 423 00:19:13,245 --> 00:19:14,445 What's wrong with being gay? 424 00:19:14,525 --> 00:19:17,125 He is such a fucking homophobe. 425 00:19:20,285 --> 00:19:23,605 ♪ It's the heart ♪ 426 00:19:23,685 --> 00:19:28,445 ♪ Afraid of breaking ♪ 427 00:19:28,525 --> 00:19:30,685 ♪ That never ♪ 428 00:19:31,885 --> 00:19:34,405 ♪ Learns to dance ♪ 429 00:19:34,485 --> 00:19:37,005 Now James isn't even speaking to me. 430 00:19:37,085 --> 00:19:39,245 Don't worry about James. James doesn't count. 431 00:19:39,325 --> 00:19:42,725 ♪ Afraid of waking ♪ 432 00:19:43,805 --> 00:19:46,605 ♪ That never ♪ 433 00:19:46,685 --> 00:19:49,845 ♪ Takes the chance ♪ 434 00:19:50,765 --> 00:19:53,765 -♪ It's the ones ♪ -♪ It's the ones ♪ 435 00:19:53,845 --> 00:19:57,765 -♪ Who won't be taken ♪ -♪ Who won't be taken ♪ 436 00:19:57,845 --> 00:20:03,565 ♪ Who cannot seem to give ♪ 437 00:20:03,645 --> 00:20:07,005 ♪ And the soul ♪ 438 00:20:07,085 --> 00:20:10,645 ♪ Afraid of dying ♪ 439 00:20:10,725 --> 00:20:13,365 ♪ That never ♪ 440 00:20:14,205 --> 00:20:17,765 ♪ Learns to live ♪ 441 00:20:18,925 --> 00:20:21,005 [light applause] 442 00:20:21,085 --> 00:20:22,685 Lovely, altogether. 443 00:20:26,045 --> 00:20:29,965 You know, every year I sit backstage listening to the singers, 444 00:20:30,045 --> 00:20:34,925 and it really makes me realize just how talented the professionals 445 00:20:35,005 --> 00:20:37,565 who originally recorded these tracks were. 446 00:20:39,085 --> 00:20:40,165 Now, who's on next? 447 00:20:40,245 --> 00:20:41,925 [lively Celtic music plays] 448 00:20:48,885 --> 00:20:50,885 Christ, this is penance. 449 00:20:51,805 --> 00:20:54,045 I'm not doing it again. I mean it this time. 450 00:20:55,045 --> 00:20:58,725 Up next we have Orla McCool. 451 00:21:03,605 --> 00:21:04,805 Christ. 452 00:21:05,845 --> 00:21:07,685 ["Pray" by Take That plays] 453 00:21:24,085 --> 00:21:28,725 ♪ When the time grew near For me to show my love ♪ 454 00:21:29,645 --> 00:21:32,005 ♪ The longer I stayed away for ♪ 455 00:21:33,685 --> 00:21:37,365 ♪ Hiding from a word I need to hear now ♪ 456 00:21:37,445 --> 00:21:38,565 [girls giggle quietly] 457 00:21:38,645 --> 00:21:40,525 ♪ Don't think I'll hear it again ♪ 458 00:21:40,605 --> 00:21:42,685 ♪ Don't think I'll hear it again ♪ 459 00:21:42,765 --> 00:21:46,405 ♪ But the nights Were always warm with you ♪ 460 00:21:47,645 --> 00:21:50,605 ♪ Holding you right by my side ♪ 461 00:21:50,685 --> 00:21:52,405 ♪ Right by my side ♪ 462 00:21:52,485 --> 00:21:54,845 ♪ But the morning Always comes too soon ♪ 463 00:21:56,605 --> 00:22:00,645 ♪ Before I even close my eyes ♪ 464 00:22:00,725 --> 00:22:04,165 ♪ Yeah All I do each night is pray ♪ 465 00:22:05,325 --> 00:22:06,965 ♪ Oh, yeah ♪ 466 00:22:07,045 --> 00:22:09,485 [audience laughing] 467 00:22:11,445 --> 00:22:13,605 ♪ All I do each night is think ♪ 468 00:22:14,605 --> 00:22:16,045 ♪ Oh, yeah ♪ 469 00:22:16,125 --> 00:22:17,805 What's wrong with her, like? 470 00:22:17,885 --> 00:22:19,285 She's such a dick. 471 00:22:23,325 --> 00:22:25,525 Yeah, she might be a dick. 472 00:22:27,565 --> 00:22:29,005 But she's my dick. 473 00:22:31,205 --> 00:22:34,125 Actually, she's our dick. 474 00:22:34,205 --> 00:22:36,845 ♪ And all of the days and the nights ♪ 475 00:22:36,925 --> 00:22:38,725 ♪ Oh, I regret it ♪ 476 00:22:38,805 --> 00:22:41,325 ♪ I never showed you my love ♪ 477 00:22:41,405 --> 00:22:43,405 ♪ I never showed you my love ♪ 478 00:22:43,485 --> 00:22:45,045 Oh, for fuck's sake. 479 00:22:47,285 --> 00:22:50,485 ♪ Holding you right by my side ♪ 480 00:22:50,565 --> 00:22:52,205 ♪ Right by my side ♪ 481 00:22:52,285 --> 00:22:56,685 ♪ But the morning Always comes too soon ♪ 482 00:22:56,765 --> 00:23:00,885 ♪ Before I even close my eyes ♪ 483 00:23:00,965 --> 00:23:02,445 ♪ Close my eyes ♪ 484 00:23:02,525 --> 00:23:04,245 [newscaster] ...in what is already being described 485 00:23:04,325 --> 00:23:07,765 as one of the worst atrocities of the Northern Irish conflict. 486 00:23:07,845 --> 00:23:09,965 At least 12 people are thought to be dead, 487 00:23:10,045 --> 00:23:11,925 and many more wounded. 488 00:23:12,005 --> 00:23:14,765 Emergency services are urging anyone with medical training 489 00:23:14,845 --> 00:23:16,845 to come to the scene immediately. 490 00:23:16,925 --> 00:23:20,165 The device was detonated at 3:00 p.m. this afternoon. 491 00:23:20,245 --> 00:23:22,525 The RUC say no warning was given. 492 00:23:22,605 --> 00:23:24,085 ["Dreams" by The Cranberries plays] 493 00:23:24,165 --> 00:23:26,125 ♪ Oh, my life ♪ 494 00:23:26,205 --> 00:23:30,165 ♪ Is changing every day ♪ 495 00:23:30,245 --> 00:23:33,405 ♪ In every possible way ♪ 496 00:23:37,565 --> 00:23:41,565 ♪ And oh, my dreams ♪ 497 00:23:41,645 --> 00:23:45,085 ♪ It's never quite as it seems ♪ 498 00:23:45,165 --> 00:23:48,085 ♪ Never quite as it seems ♪ 499 00:23:51,445 --> 00:23:55,045 ♪ I know I felt like this before ♪ 500 00:23:55,365 --> 00:23:59,885 ♪ But now I'm feeling it even more ♪ 501 00:23:59,965 --> 00:24:03,005 ♪ Because it came from you ♪ 502 00:24:06,685 --> 00:24:10,085 ♪ Then I open up and see ♪ 503 00:24:10,165 --> 00:24:14,525 ♪ The person falling here is me ♪ 504 00:24:14,605 --> 00:24:17,485 ♪ A different way to be ♪ 505 00:24:21,525 --> 00:24:23,405 [singer vocalizing]