1
00:00:15,480 --> 00:00:17,800
[music playing on TV]

2
00:00:17,880 --> 00:00:19,280
God Almighty.

3
00:00:19,360 --> 00:00:21,440
I don't know what the world is coming to.

4
00:00:21,520 --> 00:00:23,080
Bloody perverts.

5
00:00:23,160 --> 00:00:24,840
You're overreacting, Da.

6
00:00:24,920 --> 00:00:28,480
Overreacting? That lad's got
no trousers on, for Christ's sake.

7
00:00:28,560 --> 00:00:30,800
He has a great set of pins on him,
doesn't he?

8
00:00:30,880 --> 00:00:33,400
God's sake, will you close that window?
We're foundered here.

9
00:00:33,480 --> 00:00:36,000
I need air, Mary. I've five layers on me.

10
00:00:36,080 --> 00:00:37,200
Five layers.

11
00:00:37,280 --> 00:00:39,520
What are you trying to do, change race?

12
00:00:39,600 --> 00:00:41,920
Give us a going over with the hairdryer,
will you?

13
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I will not, I've enough to be at.

14
00:00:43,640 --> 00:00:45,040
Why do they keep touching themselves?

15
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'Cause they're artists, granddad.

16
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Dirty English bastards is what they are.
No offense, son.

17
00:00:50,600 --> 00:00:53,720
[Donna Traynor on TV] The SDLP leader,
John Hume, has again called for

18
00:00:53,800 --> 00:00:55,080
cross-party peace talks...

19
00:00:55,160 --> 00:00:57,560
John's really dying for peace, like,
isn't he?

20
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It's all he ever goes on about.

21
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I hope it works out for him.

22
00:01:01,440 --> 00:01:03,840
Aye, I sort of hope it works out
for all of us, Sarah.

23
00:01:03,920 --> 00:01:06,200
Come on, girls.
Time to hit the road here.

24
00:01:06,280 --> 00:01:07,440
Have they roped you
into going as well, son?

25
00:01:07,520 --> 00:01:09,599
Roped in? Hardly.
He's riding Gary Barlow.

26
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I'm not. I just respect him
as a songwriter, that's all.

27
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Aye, dead on, James, so you do.

28
00:01:14,320 --> 00:01:15,640
Will we need our passports, Gerry?

29
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For Belfast?
I don't think so, love.

30
00:01:17,480 --> 00:01:19,240
-Belfast?
-Are we not a bit early, Daddy?

31
00:01:19,320 --> 00:01:20,680
It's a two-hour drive
with traffic, love.

32
00:01:20,760 --> 00:01:22,040
This thing's in Belfast?

33
00:01:22,120 --> 00:01:23,560
It's eight hours till the doors open.

34
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-I know. We're cuttin' it fine.
-Belfast?

35
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Sure, why didn't you just sell the wains
into white slavery and be done with it?

36
00:01:28,080 --> 00:01:30,240
-Gerry will be with them, Da.
-Well, that's worse.

37
00:01:30,320 --> 00:01:32,120
-They hate his kind there.
-My kind?

38
00:01:32,200 --> 00:01:33,960
-Pricks.
-[Mary] That is enough.

39
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They're going to the concert, Da,

40
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and that's the end of the matter.

41
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[Donna Traynor on TV]
Finally, panic at Belfast Zoo today,

42
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when a polar bear escaped
from its enclosure.

43
00:01:42,240 --> 00:01:44,360
The RUC have launched
a widespread search,

44
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and have warned residents
in the local area to be extra...

45
00:01:47,360 --> 00:01:48,600
Now will you see sense?

46
00:01:48,680 --> 00:01:52,120
Aye, Da, 'cause an escaped polar bear's
gonna track us down and kill us.

47
00:01:52,200 --> 00:01:54,000
As if Mammy's bothered by that.

48
00:01:54,800 --> 00:01:56,640
♪ Sharp, so sharp ♪

49
00:01:56,720 --> 00:01:57,880
♪ Ooh ♪

50
00:01:59,800 --> 00:02:01,240
♪ Sharp, so sharp ♪

51
00:02:01,320 --> 00:02:02,400
Wise up, Mammy.

52
00:02:02,480 --> 00:02:05,040
As if a polar bear's gonna rock up
at a Take That concert!

53
00:02:05,120 --> 00:02:08,880
He wouldn't get a ticket, for a start.
They sold out months ago.

54
00:02:08,960 --> 00:02:10,080
You'd be surprised, girls.

55
00:02:10,160 --> 00:02:12,120
Aye, thon boys will get in
where draughts wouldn't.

56
00:02:12,200 --> 00:02:13,720
Sure, the concert's
nowhere near the zoo.

57
00:02:13,800 --> 00:02:17,000
But he's not in the zoo anymore,
is he, Simple Simon?

58
00:02:17,080 --> 00:02:20,240
He's sauntering about Belfast
without a care in the world.

59
00:02:20,320 --> 00:02:21,560
Aye, keep up, Gerry.

60
00:02:21,640 --> 00:02:24,920
What I'm saying is that it would be
quite a lot of ground for him to cover.

61
00:02:25,000 --> 00:02:26,760
They're quick on their feet
when they wanna be, love.

62
00:02:26,840 --> 00:02:28,160
Someone might give him a lift.

63
00:02:28,240 --> 00:02:29,320
Whose side are you on, Orla?

64
00:02:29,400 --> 00:02:31,960
Come on, Mary. If you don't let Erin go,
then our mas won't let us go.

65
00:02:32,040 --> 00:02:34,640
Well, neither they should,
and I'll be ringing them to say as much.

66
00:02:34,720 --> 00:02:36,800
-Oh, brilliant!
-I hate my life.

67
00:02:36,880 --> 00:02:40,560
Look, girls, I know how much you were
looking forward to seeing This and That.

68
00:02:40,640 --> 00:02:42,800
-Take That.
-But there'll be other concerts.

69
00:02:42,880 --> 00:02:45,440
No there won't. The fact that
this one's happening is a miracle.

70
00:02:45,520 --> 00:02:47,440
Nobody good ever comes here
'cause we keep killing each other.

71
00:02:47,520 --> 00:02:49,320
And now we're overrun with polar bears.

72
00:02:49,400 --> 00:02:51,360
-Where will it end?
-Seriously!

73
00:02:53,080 --> 00:02:56,360
Well, I'm not letting that fat furry fuck
ruin the biggest day of my life.

74
00:02:56,440 --> 00:02:57,800
What can we do?

75
00:02:58,800 --> 00:02:59,800
Right. Listen, girls.

76
00:02:59,880 --> 00:03:01,720
I've never told anyone this before, but...

77
00:03:01,800 --> 00:03:04,240
sometimes,
when Robbie's being interviewed,

78
00:03:04,320 --> 00:03:07,840
it's like he's sending me
messages through the TV--

79
00:03:07,920 --> 00:03:09,720
you know, like, telepathically
or whatever.

80
00:03:09,800 --> 00:03:11,480
It's like he's saying...

81
00:03:12,280 --> 00:03:13,720
we're meant to be together.

82
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Aye, maybe don't tell that
to anyone again, Michelle.

83
00:03:17,200 --> 00:03:18,200
Ever.

84
00:03:18,280 --> 00:03:19,600
Look, this is too important.

85
00:03:19,680 --> 00:03:22,480
I'm going to that concert.
I'm not afraid of a fucking polar bear.

86
00:03:22,560 --> 00:03:23,560
-Me neither.
-Nor me.

87
00:03:23,640 --> 00:03:24,440
Bastard.

88
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I'll kill it with me own two hands,
if I have to.

89
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-Bring it on!
-Yes!

90
00:03:27,760 --> 00:03:28,760
[Clare] OK.

91
00:03:28,840 --> 00:03:31,080
We seem to have gone down
a weird road here, people.

92
00:03:31,160 --> 00:03:32,480
I think we just got a bit confused.

93
00:03:32,560 --> 00:03:34,680
We don't actually have to
fight a polar bear,

94
00:03:34,760 --> 00:03:36,840
and if we did,
I wouldn't fancy our chances

95
00:03:36,920 --> 00:03:37,920
because, well, they're massive.

96
00:03:38,000 --> 00:03:40,440
-But there's five of us.
-The point is...

97
00:03:40,520 --> 00:03:43,200
the polar bear's not the one stopping us
going to the concert.

98
00:03:43,280 --> 00:03:46,320
It's our mothers, and we'll never
get them to change their minds.

99
00:03:46,800 --> 00:03:49,000
We're not gonna try
and change their minds.

100
00:03:49,080 --> 00:03:51,440
-We're gonna do something else.
-What?

101
00:03:53,320 --> 00:03:54,480
Lie our holes off.

102
00:03:54,560 --> 00:03:56,040
♪ I've got the key ♪

103
00:03:56,600 --> 00:03:58,320
♪ I've got the secret ♪

104
00:03:58,400 --> 00:04:00,000
♪ I've got the key to... ♪

105
00:04:00,080 --> 00:04:02,000
We're gonna get caught, I just know it.

106
00:04:02,080 --> 00:04:03,200
We're not gonna get caught, Clare,

107
00:04:03,280 --> 00:04:04,840
because as far as our mas
are concerned,

108
00:04:04,920 --> 00:04:06,400
me, you and James are round Erin's,

109
00:04:06,480 --> 00:04:07,840
and Erin and Orla are round mine.

110
00:04:07,920 --> 00:04:10,760
But we're not round yours, Michelle.
We're on the bus to Belfast.

111
00:04:10,840 --> 00:04:11,640
I can't.

112
00:04:11,720 --> 00:04:14,160
I cannot explain it to her again.
I'm gonna scream.

113
00:04:14,240 --> 00:04:17,320
-What's in the suitcase, Michelle?
-Vodka.

114
00:04:17,400 --> 00:04:19,560
You brought an entire suitcase
full of vodka?

115
00:04:19,640 --> 00:04:20,640
No.

116
00:04:20,720 --> 00:04:23,240
There's mixers as well.
I'm not a savage.

117
00:04:23,320 --> 00:04:25,480
You can mix vodka with cider, right?

118
00:04:25,560 --> 00:04:27,240
God, I am boiling.

119
00:04:27,320 --> 00:04:28,920
Is it any wonder, Clare?
What are you wearing?

120
00:04:29,000 --> 00:04:30,920
Yeah, you look like a fucking Provo.

121
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I don't want anyone recognizing me, OK?

122
00:04:32,640 --> 00:04:34,120
No one's gonna recognize you, Clare.

123
00:04:34,200 --> 00:04:35,240
Clare Devlin, is that you?

124
00:04:35,320 --> 00:04:36,320
Jesus Christ.

125
00:04:36,400 --> 00:04:38,600
Relax, Clare. It's the weekend.

126
00:04:38,680 --> 00:04:40,880
She has no authority over us
at the weekend.

127
00:04:40,960 --> 00:04:42,560
She has no right to question us,

128
00:04:42,640 --> 00:04:45,360
and if she tries to,
I'll tell her as much.

129
00:04:45,440 --> 00:04:47,680
-Morning, girls.
-[all] Morning, Sister Michael.

130
00:04:47,760 --> 00:04:49,000
What takes you to Belfast?

131
00:04:50,840 --> 00:04:52,720
-I'm not really sure that's--
-Speak up.

132
00:04:52,800 --> 00:04:56,640
I'm not really sure that
that's any of your business.

133
00:04:57,880 --> 00:04:59,680
I'm going to assume

134
00:04:59,760 --> 00:05:02,120
that was an ill-judged attempt at humor,
Miss Quinn.

135
00:05:02,920 --> 00:05:04,960
-[whispers] Yes.
-Now answer the question.

136
00:05:05,680 --> 00:05:07,640
-We're going to the museum.
-Which museum?

137
00:05:07,720 --> 00:05:09,160
-Ulster Museum.
-What for?

138
00:05:09,240 --> 00:05:11,400
-A project. A history project.
-What about?

139
00:05:11,480 --> 00:05:12,480
Ulster.

140
00:05:13,240 --> 00:05:14,240
Hmm.

141
00:05:15,160 --> 00:05:16,960
[all sigh]

142
00:05:21,040 --> 00:05:22,760
♪ Better the devil you know ♪

143
00:05:22,840 --> 00:05:25,800
-♪ Better the devil you know ♪
-♪ Whoa oh oh ♪

144
00:05:29,080 --> 00:05:30,360
♪ Whoa oh oh oh oh oh... ♪

145
00:05:31,760 --> 00:05:33,040
A history project.

146
00:05:33,120 --> 00:05:36,440
This web of lies we're spinning
is getting out of control now, girls.

147
00:05:36,520 --> 00:05:38,640
It's grand, Clare. I think she bought it.

148
00:05:38,720 --> 00:05:41,600
Of course she didn't buy it.
She's onto us, I'm telling you.

149
00:05:41,680 --> 00:05:44,160
-God, I'm sweltering here.
-Then take it off.

150
00:05:44,240 --> 00:05:45,840
I can't take it off,
I've nothing underneath it.

151
00:05:45,920 --> 00:05:46,800
What, not even a bra?

152
00:05:46,880 --> 00:05:48,480
Jesus, Clare, you've no bra on?

153
00:05:48,560 --> 00:05:50,200
Of course, I've got a bra on.

154
00:05:50,280 --> 00:05:51,400
I haven't got a bra on.

155
00:05:51,480 --> 00:05:52,840
Can everyone stop saying "bra"?

156
00:05:52,920 --> 00:05:54,840
But I can hardly parade around
in just my bra, can I?

157
00:05:54,920 --> 00:05:55,920
I'm not Madonna.

158
00:05:56,000 --> 00:05:58,360
-Isn't that the truth?
-What's she doing now?

159
00:05:58,440 --> 00:06:00,720
-[James] Reading her book.
-[laughing]

160
00:06:00,800 --> 00:06:02,680
Now she's looking at the woman beside her.

161
00:06:04,480 --> 00:06:05,760
Now she's getting up.

162
00:06:06,680 --> 00:06:08,440
Now she's coming this way.

163
00:06:08,520 --> 00:06:10,800
Now she's standing right in front of us.

164
00:06:10,880 --> 00:06:12,080
-What's he doing?
-Now she's--

165
00:06:12,160 --> 00:06:13,120
Stop talking, James.

166
00:06:13,200 --> 00:06:14,240
I want to sit here.

167
00:06:14,320 --> 00:06:15,240
What? Why?

168
00:06:15,320 --> 00:06:16,960
Well, you're just such
wonderful company, girls,

169
00:06:17,040 --> 00:06:19,760
what with your stimulating conversation
and razor-sharp wit.

170
00:06:19,840 --> 00:06:21,000
-Really?
-No, not really.

171
00:06:21,080 --> 00:06:22,880
The woman next to me
is eating an egg and onion sandwich,

172
00:06:22,960 --> 00:06:25,560
and the smell of it is enough
to turn an Orange march.

173
00:06:25,640 --> 00:06:28,000
-Christ, but this is heavy.
-Sister, no, let me.

174
00:06:28,080 --> 00:06:30,440
-What do you have in here, girls?
-It's not ours.

175
00:06:30,520 --> 00:06:31,440
Not yours?

176
00:06:31,520 --> 00:06:34,000
We have never seen it before
in our lives, have we, girls?

177
00:06:34,080 --> 00:06:35,600
-No.
-[Michelle and James] Never.

178
00:06:38,600 --> 00:06:42,360
Excuse me, everyone.
Can I have your attention, please?

179
00:06:42,440 --> 00:06:44,480
Does anyone own this red suitcase?

180
00:06:44,560 --> 00:06:45,520
[all] No.

181
00:06:45,600 --> 00:06:49,080
Let me be clear. No one
can claim this bag, is that correct?

182
00:06:49,160 --> 00:06:50,400
[all] That's correct.

183
00:06:51,360 --> 00:06:53,520
I think we have a Code Red on our hands.

184
00:06:53,600 --> 00:06:55,400
Driver, pull over.

185
00:06:56,560 --> 00:06:58,920
♪ Do do-do doo ♪

186
00:06:59,000 --> 00:07:01,480
♪ Do do-do doo... ♪

187
00:07:11,720 --> 00:07:13,120
[soldier over radio]
...in position.

188
00:07:13,200 --> 00:07:14,920
Examining suspect device now.

189
00:07:16,560 --> 00:07:17,840
Sweet Jesus.

190
00:07:17,920 --> 00:07:20,320
-Aye, this isn't great.
-It's not that big a deal.

191
00:07:20,400 --> 00:07:22,960
They're about to blow up
an entire suitcase of vodka, Michelle.

192
00:07:23,040 --> 00:07:24,240
I know. Animals.

193
00:07:24,320 --> 00:07:27,080
Their wee beekeeper costumes
are so cracker.

194
00:07:27,160 --> 00:07:28,240
You're unbelievable.

195
00:07:28,320 --> 00:07:29,360
This is so itchy now.

196
00:07:29,440 --> 00:07:31,280
Don't blame me.
Blame the Milk Tray Man.

197
00:07:31,360 --> 00:07:34,040
This is serious, Michelle.
People have gone to jail for less.

198
00:07:34,120 --> 00:07:35,520
Why is this place so mental?

199
00:07:35,600 --> 00:07:36,600
That's enough, James.

200
00:07:36,680 --> 00:07:38,480
You have serious fucking
anger management issues.

201
00:07:38,560 --> 00:07:39,560
Do you know that?

202
00:07:40,040 --> 00:07:41,600
-[explosion]
-[breaking glass]

203
00:07:45,120 --> 00:07:47,800
33 Bravo, this is 31 Alpha, over.
[radio beeps]

204
00:07:47,880 --> 00:07:49,760
[soldier 2 over radio]
I hear you, over.

205
00:07:49,840 --> 00:07:51,600
[soldier 1 over radio]
All clear here, over.

206
00:07:51,680 --> 00:07:54,480
Roger. Let's pack it up. Over.

207
00:07:55,760 --> 00:07:58,560
[soldier 1 over radio]
Powerful smell of vodka down here, over.

208
00:07:59,480 --> 00:08:00,760
Vodka, did he say?

209
00:08:01,840 --> 00:08:03,600
Interesting.

210
00:08:04,640 --> 00:08:06,680
OK. We need to go.

211
00:08:15,400 --> 00:08:17,040
We need a better plan.

212
00:08:17,120 --> 00:08:18,120
This is a great plan.

213
00:08:18,200 --> 00:08:19,440
We cannot walk to Belfast.

214
00:08:19,520 --> 00:08:20,520
How far could it be?

215
00:08:20,600 --> 00:08:23,160
Have you ever seen Northern Ireland
on a map? It's fucking tiny.

216
00:08:23,240 --> 00:08:26,640
I have to say, I'm not overly keen on us
being out in the open like this,

217
00:08:26,720 --> 00:08:27,720
just because of the whole

218
00:08:27,800 --> 00:08:30,080
there's-a-polar-bear-on-the-loose-
that-could-maul-us-to-death thing.

219
00:08:30,160 --> 00:08:31,560
It can try.

220
00:08:31,640 --> 00:08:33,920
Is it just me,
or is that gypsy an absolute ride?

221
00:08:34,000 --> 00:08:36,040
-[Erin] Michelle, you cannot say that.
-[Michelle] What?

222
00:08:36,120 --> 00:08:37,240
They're called travelers now.

223
00:08:37,320 --> 00:08:39,480
You can't say "gypsy" anymore.
It's insulting.

224
00:08:39,559 --> 00:08:41,559
-Is it?
-Yes, yes it is.

225
00:08:41,640 --> 00:08:43,120
-Really?
-[James] Who are they?

226
00:08:43,200 --> 00:08:46,200
They're just people, James.
They're just people exactly like us.

227
00:08:46,280 --> 00:08:47,880
-Except different.
-Yes. No.

228
00:08:47,960 --> 00:08:49,680
[gasps]
That's actually racist, Orla.

229
00:08:49,760 --> 00:08:51,040
No, it's not. They are different.

230
00:08:51,120 --> 00:08:53,640
-[Erin] They're not.
-Well, they live in caravans, for a start.

231
00:08:53,720 --> 00:08:55,080
I wish I lived in a caravan.

232
00:08:55,160 --> 00:08:56,560
Aye, me too. Caravans are class.

233
00:08:56,640 --> 00:08:58,440
Can everybody stop being so racist,
please?

234
00:08:58,520 --> 00:09:00,920
I'm a bit scared of them. Is that racist?

235
00:09:01,000 --> 00:09:03,000
-Yes.
-Very much so.

236
00:09:03,080 --> 00:09:04,720
-Is gypsy even a race?
-Traveler.

237
00:09:04,800 --> 00:09:05,840
Howya, girls.

238
00:09:05,920 --> 00:09:06,920
-Well, hello there.
-Hi.

239
00:09:07,000 --> 00:09:07,920
Good afternoon, sir.

240
00:09:08,000 --> 00:09:09,720
"Sir"? What the fuck, Clare?

241
00:09:09,800 --> 00:09:10,760
Hey, hold on.

242
00:09:10,840 --> 00:09:11,960
-What does he want?
-I don't know.

243
00:09:12,040 --> 00:09:12,880
I'm talking to you.

244
00:09:12,960 --> 00:09:14,000
Just walk on.

245
00:09:14,080 --> 00:09:15,800
Hey, are you deaf or what?

246
00:09:15,880 --> 00:09:17,040
Keep your heads down and keep walking.

247
00:09:17,120 --> 00:09:18,120
Get back here!

248
00:09:18,200 --> 00:09:19,080
Faster. Walk faster.

249
00:09:19,160 --> 00:09:21,080
Am I gonna have to come after you, am I?

250
00:09:21,160 --> 00:09:22,600
Jesus Christ, he's following us.

251
00:09:22,680 --> 00:09:24,240
-Holy fuck.
-[Erin] Run!

252
00:09:24,320 --> 00:09:26,760
-[James] What?
-He's obviously a psychopath. Run!

253
00:09:30,800 --> 00:09:32,560
[Michelle]
He looks fucking raging.

254
00:09:32,640 --> 00:09:33,840
I don't want to die!

255
00:09:33,920 --> 00:09:35,960
[screaming]
I don't want to die!

256
00:09:37,520 --> 00:09:40,440
-This is some craic, isn't it?
-[James] Holy shit they're fast!

257
00:09:40,520 --> 00:09:41,400
Piss off!

258
00:09:41,480 --> 00:09:42,680
What?!

259
00:09:42,760 --> 00:09:45,440
Back off, you hear me? I'm not
messing around with this thing.

260
00:09:45,520 --> 00:09:47,320
We mean you no harm, sir.

261
00:09:47,400 --> 00:09:49,760
Seriously, Clare.
The "sir" thing, just pack it in.

262
00:09:49,840 --> 00:09:52,080
-Why you being so weird?
-Why are you chasin' us?

263
00:09:53,040 --> 00:09:54,280
Because you dropped this.

264
00:09:54,360 --> 00:09:55,640
That's my purse.

265
00:09:56,600 --> 00:09:58,600
Why did you think we were chasing you?

266
00:09:59,520 --> 00:10:00,960
All right. I see.

267
00:10:01,040 --> 00:10:04,320
We're travelers,
which means we're psychopaths.

268
00:10:04,400 --> 00:10:06,680
-Oh, you were right, Erin.
-Shut up, Orla.

269
00:10:06,760 --> 00:10:09,280
We run after people and beat them up,
for no fucking reason.

270
00:10:09,360 --> 00:10:10,360
No, look, that isn't--

271
00:10:10,440 --> 00:10:12,800
We're travelers,
so we're obviously violent!

272
00:10:12,880 --> 00:10:13,880
No, not at all.

273
00:10:13,960 --> 00:10:17,960
Listen, we have huge respect
for you and your people.

274
00:10:18,040 --> 00:10:20,120
You've such a strong sense of community,

275
00:10:20,200 --> 00:10:22,480
and such wonderful traditional values.

276
00:10:22,560 --> 00:10:24,000
[horn honking]

277
00:10:24,080 --> 00:10:25,280
These lads bothering you girls?

278
00:10:25,360 --> 00:10:27,680
-Yes, yes they are.
-They're fucking madmen.

279
00:10:27,760 --> 00:10:30,200
-They're gonna kill us.
-Help us, please.

280
00:10:30,280 --> 00:10:31,880
[spits]

281
00:10:31,960 --> 00:10:32,960
Jump in.

282
00:10:33,640 --> 00:10:35,520
♪ All right, all right ♪

283
00:10:35,600 --> 00:10:37,400
♪ Everything's gonna be all right ♪

284
00:10:37,480 --> 00:10:39,040
♪ All right, all right... ♪

285
00:10:39,120 --> 00:10:40,120
Arseholes.

286
00:10:40,200 --> 00:10:41,240
♪ ...be all right ♪

287
00:10:41,320 --> 00:10:42,840
♪ All right, all right ♪

288
00:10:42,920 --> 00:10:44,760
♪ Everything's gonna be all right ♪

289
00:10:44,840 --> 00:10:46,720
♪ All right, all right ♪

290
00:10:46,800 --> 00:10:48,560
♪ It's really all right ♪

291
00:10:48,640 --> 00:10:50,640
♪ No don't be so sad ♪

292
00:10:50,720 --> 00:10:52,040
♪ 'Cause love is by your side ♪

293
00:10:52,120 --> 00:10:53,280
♪ No don't be so... ♪

294
00:10:53,360 --> 00:10:54,360
We totally suit.

295
00:10:55,760 --> 00:10:58,320
Have you ever actually met them, Rita,
Take That?

296
00:10:58,400 --> 00:11:00,640
No, I can't stand them,
if I'm being honest,

297
00:11:00,720 --> 00:11:02,560
but their fans are so thick
they'll buy any old shite,

298
00:11:02,640 --> 00:11:03,640
present company included.

299
00:11:03,720 --> 00:11:05,320
I think you mean "excluded."

300
00:11:05,400 --> 00:11:06,640
No, no I don't.

301
00:11:06,720 --> 00:11:07,720
I see.

302
00:11:07,800 --> 00:11:10,080
Pop music isn't really my thing,
truth be told.

303
00:11:10,160 --> 00:11:11,520
It's all so fucking soulless now.

304
00:11:11,600 --> 00:11:12,760
I'm a classical head all the way,

305
00:11:12,840 --> 00:11:14,920
but I've been banned from trading

306
00:11:15,000 --> 00:11:17,480
at Glyndebourne ever since
I absolutely battered that Pavarotti fan,

307
00:11:17,560 --> 00:11:19,160
and when I say battered,
I mean intellectually like.

308
00:11:19,240 --> 00:11:21,120
I did kick the shit out of him as well.

309
00:11:22,160 --> 00:11:24,480
Pavo's "La Boheme" is very muscular,

310
00:11:24,560 --> 00:11:28,480
but for purity of tone,
you simply cannot fault Bocelli!

311
00:11:28,560 --> 00:11:30,640
I mean, listen to that, girls.

312
00:11:30,720 --> 00:11:32,720
Pass the can there.

313
00:11:32,800 --> 00:11:33,800
The can of...

314
00:11:34,600 --> 00:11:36,160
oh, beer. I see.

315
00:11:37,360 --> 00:11:38,360
Alcoholic beer.

316
00:11:38,440 --> 00:11:39,880
[slurps]

317
00:11:40,640 --> 00:11:42,200
Oh, that's fucking beautiful.

318
00:11:42,280 --> 00:11:44,720
While driving. OK. Fine. Good.

319
00:11:44,800 --> 00:11:47,040
Mmm. What a fucking instrument.

320
00:11:47,120 --> 00:11:48,960
Glorious!

321
00:11:49,040 --> 00:11:51,600
Any idea what the speed limit is
around here?

322
00:11:51,680 --> 00:11:52,680
Robie?

323
00:11:52,760 --> 00:11:56,080
Close your eyes, girls, and soak it up.

324
00:11:56,160 --> 00:11:58,960
Sure, of course,
but maybe you could soak it up

325
00:11:59,040 --> 00:12:01,280
with your eyes open and,
you know, on the road.

326
00:12:03,040 --> 00:12:04,560
[opera music blaring]

327
00:12:10,360 --> 00:12:11,960
[opera music continues]

328
00:12:28,680 --> 00:12:30,200
Erin, what are we gonna do?

329
00:12:30,280 --> 00:12:31,840
I don't know. She's fucking mental.

330
00:12:31,920 --> 00:12:34,240
She spelled "Robbie" wrong
on every single T-shirt.

331
00:12:34,320 --> 00:12:36,120
-What?!
-How are we gonna break it to her?

332
00:12:36,200 --> 00:12:38,000
That's what you're worried about, Clare?

333
00:12:38,080 --> 00:12:40,320
At this very second,
that's what's concerning you,

334
00:12:40,400 --> 00:12:41,720
a spelling mistake?

335
00:12:41,800 --> 00:12:43,120
I find it disturbing, Erin.

336
00:12:43,200 --> 00:12:44,440
Tell you what, girls.

337
00:12:44,520 --> 00:12:46,280
I don't believe in God,
but, see, if I did...

338
00:12:46,360 --> 00:12:47,560
Um, she's lost the plot.

339
00:12:47,640 --> 00:12:49,000
...that's what He would sound like.

340
00:12:49,080 --> 00:12:50,280
We should have took our chances
with the gypsies.

341
00:12:50,360 --> 00:12:52,200
-Travelers. Ooph.
-[thud]

342
00:12:52,280 --> 00:12:53,720
[gasping]

343
00:12:53,800 --> 00:12:55,040
Jesus Christ.

344
00:12:55,120 --> 00:12:56,800
-What was that?
-Did we hit something?

345
00:12:56,880 --> 00:13:00,560
Oh, my God, it's the polar bear!

346
00:13:06,000 --> 00:13:07,200
Not again.

347
00:13:07,280 --> 00:13:08,440
Get it shifted, girls.

348
00:13:09,960 --> 00:13:11,040
[Michelle]
This is rank.

349
00:13:11,120 --> 00:13:12,400
[Clare]
Then why are we doing it?

350
00:13:12,480 --> 00:13:14,680
Because Rita told us to,
and I'm scared of her, Clare.

351
00:13:14,760 --> 00:13:16,120
I'm very, very scared of her.

352
00:13:16,200 --> 00:13:18,600
Why's it so heavy?
Aren't they meant to be 90% wool?

353
00:13:18,680 --> 00:13:20,000
Just put your back into it.

354
00:13:20,080 --> 00:13:22,200
The sooner this is done,
the sooner we're back in the van

355
00:13:22,280 --> 00:13:23,600
and on our way to see Robbie.

356
00:13:23,680 --> 00:13:25,920
"Robie." I mean,
it so obviously doesn't look right.

357
00:13:26,000 --> 00:13:28,960
I am not getting back in that van,
Michelle. The woman is a maniac.

358
00:13:29,040 --> 00:13:30,880
We've come this far.
We're not turning back.

359
00:13:30,960 --> 00:13:33,520
-Oh, Jesus Christ.
-What is it?

360
00:13:33,600 --> 00:13:35,120
I just put my hand on its hole.

361
00:13:35,200 --> 00:13:37,920
Fuck this. Let's just make James do it,
the lazy bastard.

362
00:13:38,000 --> 00:13:39,840
-[all agreeing]
-[thud]

363
00:13:42,880 --> 00:13:44,400
Where is James?

364
00:13:45,920 --> 00:13:47,640
[all talking at once]

365
00:13:55,240 --> 00:13:57,640
Will you shut the fuck up?

366
00:13:58,440 --> 00:13:59,440
OK.

367
00:14:00,040 --> 00:14:01,680
So, as far as I can make out,

368
00:14:01,760 --> 00:14:03,760
you think you left this James character
with the gypsies.

369
00:14:03,840 --> 00:14:04,640
Travelers.

370
00:14:04,720 --> 00:14:07,040
The small, annoying one thinks
we should go back for him because... ?

371
00:14:07,120 --> 00:14:09,480
They were so angry with us,
he could be in danger, Rita.

372
00:14:09,560 --> 00:14:11,280
And the mouthy curly one
thinks we shouldn't because... ?

373
00:14:11,360 --> 00:14:13,240
-Because he's a dickhead, Rita.
-See, it's tricky.

374
00:14:13,320 --> 00:14:14,320
Come on, Michelle!

375
00:14:14,400 --> 00:14:16,400
If we go back for him,
we're gonna miss the start of the concert.

376
00:14:16,480 --> 00:14:17,320
But he's your cousin.

377
00:14:17,400 --> 00:14:18,840
Who hasn't lost a cousin or two
in their time?

378
00:14:18,920 --> 00:14:19,920
OK, OK.

379
00:14:20,000 --> 00:14:23,120
So, who agrees with Tiny Tears?
Who thinks we should go back?

380
00:14:26,800 --> 00:14:28,600
-Orla!
-I like James.

381
00:14:28,680 --> 00:14:30,040
I like Take That more.

382
00:14:30,120 --> 00:14:32,480
Make a fucking decision.
I've T-shirts to flog.

383
00:14:32,560 --> 00:14:35,560
Come on, girls.
It's Take That we're talking about.

384
00:14:35,640 --> 00:14:36,640
I know, it's just--

385
00:14:36,720 --> 00:14:38,640
[Michelle] You said it yourself, Erin,
the greats don't come here.

386
00:14:38,720 --> 00:14:42,920
We never got to see Bros,
New Kids on the Block, Right Said Fred.

387
00:14:43,000 --> 00:14:45,520
Let's not add Take That to that list.

388
00:14:45,600 --> 00:14:47,240
We can't turn back.
There's too much at stake.

389
00:14:47,320 --> 00:14:49,400
-James has the tickets.
-Shit!

390
00:14:49,480 --> 00:14:51,480
[Donna Traynor on TV]
Despite John Hume's optimism

391
00:14:51,560 --> 00:14:52,560
earlier today,

392
00:14:52,640 --> 00:14:54,800
the DUP leader, Ian Paisley, has said

393
00:14:54,880 --> 00:14:59,240
that under no circumstances will his
party sit at the same table as Sinn Féin,

394
00:14:59,320 --> 00:15:01,680
making all party talks impossible.

395
00:15:01,760 --> 00:15:03,160
[Mary]
I can't take it anymore.

396
00:15:03,240 --> 00:15:05,160
All these false promises,

397
00:15:05,240 --> 00:15:08,000
waiting week after week,
hoping today might be the day,

398
00:15:08,080 --> 00:15:09,320
only to be disappointed.

399
00:15:09,400 --> 00:15:11,600
Don't upset yourself, love.
It's just a wheelie bin.

400
00:15:11,680 --> 00:15:13,200
It'll change my life, Gerry.

401
00:15:13,280 --> 00:15:15,400
And Strabane's had them for months.

402
00:15:15,480 --> 00:15:17,800
I mean, what's going on there?

403
00:15:17,880 --> 00:15:19,920
Who's pulling the strings for Strabane?

404
00:15:20,000 --> 00:15:22,840
I mean, it's against
the Trades Description Act.

405
00:15:22,920 --> 00:15:26,040
The label said mahogany.
Sure, that's barely oak.

406
00:15:26,120 --> 00:15:28,560
Jesus, but I'm fuming, so I am.

407
00:15:28,640 --> 00:15:30,320
-He's gaining ground.
-[Sarah] What?

408
00:15:30,400 --> 00:15:31,960
The polar bear.

409
00:15:32,040 --> 00:15:33,000
Margo Murphy's niece saw him

410
00:15:33,080 --> 00:15:35,240
just outside the Abrakebabra
in Coleraine, apparently.

411
00:15:35,320 --> 00:15:37,520
-That close?
-I'll get the holy water.

412
00:15:37,600 --> 00:15:39,360
Sarah, buzz Michelle's mother there.

413
00:15:39,440 --> 00:15:40,920
Tell her we need our wains back.

414
00:15:41,000 --> 00:15:42,320
I will surely, Daddy.

415
00:15:42,400 --> 00:15:43,800
Then we'll barricade the front door,

416
00:15:43,880 --> 00:15:45,360
and if the worse comes to worst,

417
00:15:45,440 --> 00:15:47,320
Jim across the road
lent me his tranquilizer gun.

418
00:15:47,400 --> 00:15:48,680
Nobody's picking up.

419
00:15:48,760 --> 00:15:50,440
Why does Jim across the road
have a tranquilizer gun?

420
00:15:50,520 --> 00:15:53,160
His brother had an awful lot of bother
with devil worshippers.

421
00:15:53,240 --> 00:15:54,240
Excuse me?

422
00:15:54,320 --> 00:15:56,120
Aye, they set up camp on his farm,

423
00:15:56,200 --> 00:15:57,720
and he couldn't shift them
for love nor money,

424
00:15:57,800 --> 00:16:00,000
so Jim bought a couple of guns
and just...

425
00:16:00,080 --> 00:16:01,560
What, shot them?

426
00:16:01,640 --> 00:16:03,160
Aye. I think it worked, you know.

427
00:16:03,240 --> 00:16:04,320
I imagine it would, yeah.

428
00:16:04,400 --> 00:16:06,760
I'm not convinced they were
devil worshippers, you know.

429
00:16:06,840 --> 00:16:08,680
Sure their hair had never seen a brush

430
00:16:08,760 --> 00:16:10,800
and they were head to toe
in tie-dye, Mary.

431
00:16:10,880 --> 00:16:12,600
Jesus Christ.

432
00:16:12,680 --> 00:16:16,240
OK, I think we all
just need to take a moment.

433
00:16:16,320 --> 00:16:17,840
[knock at the door]

434
00:16:17,920 --> 00:16:21,200
Don't answer. That might be him.
That might be the polar bear!

435
00:16:21,280 --> 00:16:23,280
Yeah, because they're known
for their impeccable manners.

436
00:16:23,360 --> 00:16:25,400
They might come into your house
and rip your throat out,

437
00:16:25,480 --> 00:16:27,120
but they'll knock on the door first.

438
00:16:27,200 --> 00:16:29,760
Could you please
stop pointing that thing at me, Joe?

439
00:16:29,840 --> 00:16:31,160
Da.

440
00:16:32,840 --> 00:16:33,920
Ach, Geraldine.

441
00:16:34,000 --> 00:16:36,840
I hope you don't mind.
Your front door was open.

442
00:16:36,920 --> 00:16:38,520
Can you believe this bloody polar bear?

443
00:16:38,600 --> 00:16:40,240
At our wits' end over at our place.

444
00:16:40,320 --> 00:16:41,760
It's desperate, so it is.

445
00:16:41,840 --> 00:16:42,880
[knock at the door]

446
00:16:42,960 --> 00:16:43,960
Mary, Gerry.

447
00:16:44,040 --> 00:16:45,680
Come on in, Deirdre, love, it's open.

448
00:16:45,760 --> 00:16:47,440
Can you credit this arsehole?

449
00:16:47,520 --> 00:16:50,080
He's gonna hold this whole town
hostage, you mark my words.

450
00:16:50,160 --> 00:16:52,040
He's an evil bastard, Deirdre.

451
00:16:52,120 --> 00:16:54,400
Look, I just want to get my two
back home, if that's all right, Mary.

452
00:16:54,480 --> 00:16:56,600
Aye, same here. You wouldn't mind
getting Clare for me?

453
00:16:56,680 --> 00:16:57,800
What are you talking about?

454
00:16:57,880 --> 00:16:59,120
Ssh! Listen.

455
00:16:59,200 --> 00:17:00,360
[Donna Traynor on TV]
A polar bear

456
00:17:00,440 --> 00:17:03,840
that escaped from Belfast Zoo
this morning has been recaptured.

457
00:17:03,920 --> 00:17:06,480
A group of firefighters
who were helping with the search

458
00:17:06,560 --> 00:17:11,040
discovered the animal close to the A6,
between Belfast and Londonderry,

459
00:17:11,119 --> 00:17:13,200
feasting on a sheep carcass.

460
00:17:13,280 --> 00:17:15,040
Oh, thank God for that.

461
00:17:15,119 --> 00:17:18,880
Ah, better leave Jim's gun back so.

462
00:17:18,960 --> 00:17:20,200
Michelle, James and Clare,

463
00:17:20,280 --> 00:17:22,160
did they tell you
they were coming round here?

464
00:17:22,240 --> 00:17:23,359
Aye, that's right.

465
00:17:24,160 --> 00:17:25,280
The wee feckers.

466
00:17:41,560 --> 00:17:43,280
[horn honking]

467
00:17:48,560 --> 00:17:50,840
What are you playing at?
Get in the van, fucko.

468
00:17:50,920 --> 00:17:53,040
You don't have to
if you don't want to, James.

469
00:17:54,040 --> 00:17:56,240
With all due respect, this has got
nothing to do with you.

470
00:17:56,320 --> 00:17:59,120
The way you treat this fella,
it's disgraceful.

471
00:18:00,160 --> 00:18:01,360
What is going on, James?

472
00:18:01,440 --> 00:18:02,600
Jonjo and the lads,

473
00:18:02,680 --> 00:18:04,560
well, they just get me.

474
00:18:05,600 --> 00:18:08,160
And it turns out,
I'm a really good salesman.

475
00:18:08,240 --> 00:18:09,240
He's a natural.

476
00:18:09,320 --> 00:18:10,960
So, what, you're a gypsy now?

477
00:18:11,040 --> 00:18:12,040
Traveler!

478
00:18:12,120 --> 00:18:13,440
-Actually, gypsy's fine.
-I knew it.

479
00:18:13,520 --> 00:18:14,640
Let's get a move on!

480
00:18:14,720 --> 00:18:15,520
Right. Get in the van, come on.

481
00:18:15,600 --> 00:18:18,400
And do not test me 'cause we've
already missed PJ and Duncan.

482
00:18:18,480 --> 00:18:19,840
-Is that who was supporting them?
-Aye.

483
00:18:19,920 --> 00:18:21,280
Oh, I really like them!

484
00:18:21,360 --> 00:18:22,360
I'm not leaving, Michelle.

485
00:18:22,440 --> 00:18:24,160
Not even for Gary Barlow?

486
00:18:25,320 --> 00:18:28,200
I don't really rate him as a songwriter,
you know.

487
00:18:31,040 --> 00:18:35,120
I'm sorry, Jonjo,
but you just crossed the line there.

488
00:18:36,560 --> 00:18:37,760
[coins jingle]

489
00:18:39,280 --> 00:18:41,000
♪ Sharp, so sharp ♪

490
00:18:41,080 --> 00:18:42,240
♪ Ooh hoo ♪

491
00:18:44,280 --> 00:18:46,520
♪ Sharp, so sharp ♪

492
00:18:46,600 --> 00:18:48,400
My Michelle is gonna be wishing

493
00:18:48,480 --> 00:18:50,960
she was mauled to death by that thing
when I get my hands on her.

494
00:18:51,040 --> 00:18:52,800
I don't know what to do anymore.

495
00:18:52,880 --> 00:18:54,960
I mean, they say that all teenagers
are a bit rebellious,

496
00:18:55,040 --> 00:18:57,960
but Clare's off the scale.
She's basically a delinquent.

497
00:18:58,040 --> 00:19:00,320
Have you considered adoption, Geraldine?

498
00:19:00,400 --> 00:19:03,080
She's 16, Sarah.
Sure, she's past the cut-off.

499
00:19:03,160 --> 00:19:05,200
[Donna Traynor on TV]
And finally, amazing scenes

500
00:19:05,280 --> 00:19:08,520
in the King's Hall this evening
as the British pop sensations Take That

501
00:19:08,600 --> 00:19:11,000
play their first ever
Northern Irish concert.

502
00:19:11,080 --> 00:19:13,680
♪ Everything changes but you... ♪

503
00:19:17,200 --> 00:19:19,000
Girls, we just need
some cold, hard proof

504
00:19:19,080 --> 00:19:20,760
they went to that concert,

505
00:19:20,840 --> 00:19:23,640
and then, by Christ
they won't know what's hit them.

506
00:19:23,720 --> 00:19:26,360
[screaming and cheering]

507
00:19:26,440 --> 00:19:28,640
♪ Now don't you cry ♪

508
00:19:28,720 --> 00:19:30,320
♪ Just one more kiss ♪

509
00:19:30,400 --> 00:19:33,800
♪ Before I have to go... ♪

510
00:19:33,880 --> 00:19:36,440
[laughs]

511
00:19:36,520 --> 00:19:37,640
♪ ...don't go ♪

512
00:19:37,720 --> 00:19:40,880
♪ And give my love away ♪

513
00:19:40,960 --> 00:19:43,120
♪ ...I'll be home soon ♪

514
00:19:43,200 --> 00:19:46,960
♪ Back in your arms
To hear you say that ♪

515
00:19:47,040 --> 00:19:49,840
♪ Everything changes but you ♪

516
00:19:49,920 --> 00:19:51,880
♪ We're a thousand miles apart ♪

517
00:19:51,960 --> 00:19:54,440
♪ And I miss you, baby ♪

518
00:19:54,520 --> 00:19:57,200
♪ Everything changes but you ♪

519
00:19:57,280 --> 00:19:59,320
♪ You know every single day ♪

520
00:19:59,400 --> 00:20:01,520
♪ I'll be thinking about you ♪

521
00:20:02,640 --> 00:20:04,680
♪ The rumors true ♪

522
00:20:04,760 --> 00:20:08,480
♪ You know that there've been others ♪

523
00:20:09,880 --> 00:20:12,280
♪ What can I do ♪

524
00:20:12,360 --> 00:20:17,000
♪ I tell you, baby
They don't mean a thing ♪

525
00:20:17,080 --> 00:20:19,240
♪ Now, girl, don't go... ♪