1 00:00:05,160 --> 00:00:07,280 Will this be enough? I thought you weren't going to bother 2 00:00:07,320 --> 00:00:09,600 making lunch, we were going to get something there. We are. 3 00:00:09,640 --> 00:00:11,840 This is for the journey. It's an hour on the train, love. 4 00:00:11,880 --> 00:00:13,400 Aye, better do a few more rounds. 5 00:00:13,440 --> 00:00:15,720 No more rounds. For the love of God, put the knife down, woman. 6 00:00:15,760 --> 00:00:17,680 Why have you got a surfboard, Joe? 7 00:00:17,720 --> 00:00:20,480 Jim across the road gave me the lend. I'll start again. 8 00:00:20,520 --> 00:00:22,680 What are you planning to do with the surfboard, Joe? 9 00:00:22,720 --> 00:00:25,000 Surf. Something I always fancied doing, 10 00:00:25,040 --> 00:00:26,400 ever since I saw that film, 11 00:00:26,440 --> 00:00:28,520 the one where the lads try to catch thon big fish. 12 00:00:28,560 --> 00:00:29,880 What film is that? 13 00:00:29,920 --> 00:00:32,880 You know, the big fish, the musical fish. 14 00:00:32,920 --> 00:00:34,040 The musical fish? 15 00:00:34,080 --> 00:00:36,520 He hums a tune before he attacks people. 16 00:00:36,560 --> 00:00:38,840 They try to catch him but their boat's too wee. 17 00:00:38,880 --> 00:00:40,440 Are you talking about Jaws? That's the one. 18 00:00:40,480 --> 00:00:42,360 Jaws made you want to take up surfing? 19 00:00:42,400 --> 00:00:43,800 Aye. Grand so. 20 00:00:43,840 --> 00:00:46,040 Christ, is that the time? 21 00:00:46,080 --> 00:00:48,080 I've that much to do I'm passing myself here, 22 00:00:48,120 --> 00:00:50,520 and now my right ear has closed over. 23 00:00:50,560 --> 00:00:53,680 What? I've been trying to put my earring in for 45 minutes, 24 00:00:53,720 --> 00:00:56,840 but no joy. Give us over an ice cube, will you, Mary? 25 00:00:56,880 --> 00:00:59,480 I'm going to freeze the lobe and ram a needle through it. 26 00:00:59,520 --> 00:01:01,640 Please don't. Take them off, Orla, they're mental. 27 00:01:01,680 --> 00:01:03,840 They're cracking. Are they really suitable, love? 28 00:01:03,880 --> 00:01:06,040 They won't let you on the disco swing if you don't meet 29 00:01:06,080 --> 00:01:10,240 the height restrictions, Aunt Mary. I simply will not risk it. 30 00:01:10,280 --> 00:01:14,040 TV: Ian Paisley and the DUP say they will not enter any kind of talks 31 00:01:14,080 --> 00:01:17,880 with Sinn Fein unless the IRA decommission all arms. 32 00:01:17,920 --> 00:01:20,480 I'm convinced they don't know where they are. 33 00:01:20,520 --> 00:01:22,880 What's that? The IRA. Well, 34 00:01:22,920 --> 00:01:26,680 after the ceasefire they've all this stuff just lying about, 35 00:01:26,720 --> 00:01:29,760 you know, their guns, their Semtex, 36 00:01:29,800 --> 00:01:31,080 their other bits and bobs, 37 00:01:31,120 --> 00:01:32,760 and there's nothing worse than clutter. 38 00:01:32,800 --> 00:01:35,080 Exactly like Mammy's Toby jug collection. 39 00:01:35,120 --> 00:01:36,440 I was just thinking that, Mary. 40 00:01:36,480 --> 00:01:39,560 I bagsed them all up, stored them somewhere safe, thought no more about them. 41 00:01:39,600 --> 00:01:42,840 Six months later Daddy wants to plant some seeds in John Wayne. 42 00:01:42,880 --> 00:01:44,360 Can I remember where I put them? 43 00:01:44,400 --> 00:01:46,920 Are you saying you think the IRA won't decommission 44 00:01:46,960 --> 00:01:49,080 because they've misplaced their balaclavas? 45 00:01:49,120 --> 00:01:51,680 I mean, they'll turn up, I'm sure. The balaclavas? 46 00:01:51,720 --> 00:01:52,760 The Toby jugs. 47 00:01:52,800 --> 00:01:54,280 TV: It's a serious stumbling block 48 00:01:54,320 --> 00:01:56,120 in an already precarious peace process. 49 00:01:56,160 --> 00:01:58,360 I just can't believe this. 50 00:01:58,400 --> 00:02:00,640 Yeah. Let's hope they can work it out. 51 00:02:00,680 --> 00:02:04,040 I've frozen the wrong lobe. I see. 52 00:02:09,720 --> 00:02:12,760 Portrush, with a Protestant, Unionist majority, 53 00:02:12,800 --> 00:02:15,040 yet many Catholics from 54 00:02:15,080 --> 00:02:17,960 Derry risk travelling there every summer. 55 00:02:18,000 --> 00:02:20,800 Why? Well, because it's got a cracking big dipper. 56 00:02:20,840 --> 00:02:22,520 Get that thing out of my face, James, 57 00:02:22,560 --> 00:02:24,480 I haven't even got my eyes on yet. 58 00:02:24,520 --> 00:02:27,400 Why'd you bring it, son? You're not going to be able to take it on any of the rides. 59 00:02:27,440 --> 00:02:28,480 What are you laughing at? 60 00:02:28,520 --> 00:02:30,200 Is it because Uncle Gerry said "rides"? 61 00:02:30,240 --> 00:02:31,720 Speaking of rides. Seriously. 62 00:02:31,760 --> 00:02:33,760 Don't be asking to go on that ghost train? Do you hear me? 63 00:02:33,800 --> 00:02:35,320 You'll be all Billy big balls at the time, 64 00:02:35,360 --> 00:02:38,640 but I'll have to deal with the fallout at three in the morning when you wake up 65 00:02:38,680 --> 00:02:40,400 screaming and crying about some fella with no head. 66 00:02:40,440 --> 00:02:42,160 Oh, I love the fella with no head. 67 00:02:42,200 --> 00:02:44,040 The fella with no head is the best bit. 68 00:02:44,080 --> 00:02:45,960 I just wasn't expecting the fella with no head. 69 00:02:46,000 --> 00:02:47,960 Now that I'm prepared for the fella with no head. 70 00:02:48,000 --> 00:02:49,840 I don't want to hear about it, Erin. 71 00:02:49,880 --> 00:02:52,520 I just want to get on that train, sit down, 72 00:02:52,560 --> 00:02:55,400 have a cup of tea and relax. 73 00:02:55,440 --> 00:02:58,040 TANNOY: The 9:15 service from Londonderry 74 00:02:58,080 --> 00:03:00,960 to Portrush will now be arriving at platform two 75 00:03:01,000 --> 00:03:04,520 calling at Castlerock, Coleraine and Portstewart. 76 00:03:04,560 --> 00:03:06,560 THEY CHEER 77 00:03:06,600 --> 00:03:08,600 HORN BLASTS 78 00:03:23,240 --> 00:03:26,640 TRAIN ANNOUNCER: Welcome aboard the 9:15 service from Londonderry to Portrush, 79 00:03:26,680 --> 00:03:29,400 calling at Castlerock, Coleraine and Portstewart. 80 00:03:29,440 --> 00:03:31,240 Thought I was going to drop dead there at one point. 81 00:03:31,280 --> 00:03:33,960 If only. Christ but I'm sweating like a hooker in mass. 82 00:03:34,000 --> 00:03:36,120 Let's grab these. We're going to sit in a different carriage, Mammy. 83 00:03:36,160 --> 00:03:39,120 I don't know about that. Come on, Mammy, we just want our own space. 84 00:03:39,160 --> 00:03:42,320 We're not weans. We don't need to be constantly supervised. 85 00:03:42,360 --> 00:03:44,320 Where's Clare? 86 00:03:44,360 --> 00:03:45,880 Shit. 87 00:03:53,360 --> 00:03:55,240 CLARE SCREAMS 88 00:03:55,280 --> 00:03:56,280 TRAIN HORN BLARES 89 00:03:58,120 --> 00:04:01,960 The golden sands of Benone, the crashing of the Atlantic, 90 00:04:02,000 --> 00:04:05,200 the wildlife, the mountains, the birdsong. 91 00:04:05,240 --> 00:04:07,440 Well, what's any of this without Clare? 92 00:04:07,480 --> 00:04:08,680 She hasn't snuffed it, Erin. 93 00:04:08,720 --> 00:04:10,120 Yeah, I'm sure she'll get the next train. 94 00:04:10,160 --> 00:04:13,840 And make the journey all alone because we abandoned her, 95 00:04:13,880 --> 00:04:15,240 because we left her behind, 96 00:04:15,280 --> 00:04:18,160 and I for one will never forgive myself for that. 97 00:04:18,200 --> 00:04:20,520 Here comes the snack trolley. Oh, happy days. 98 00:04:20,560 --> 00:04:23,240 Any drinks or snacks? I'll have a Coke and a KitKat and... 99 00:04:23,280 --> 00:04:24,880 I'll have a KitKat as well. Yeah, me too. 100 00:04:24,920 --> 00:04:26,400 No KitKats, I'm afraid. 101 00:04:26,440 --> 00:04:28,440 I can see the KitKats. They're display KitKats. 102 00:04:28,480 --> 00:04:30,120 - Display KitKats? - They're display only. 103 00:04:30,160 --> 00:04:31,480 I don't have any in the drawers. 104 00:04:31,520 --> 00:04:33,000 Well, can we buy the display KitKats? 105 00:04:33,040 --> 00:04:34,240 No. Why the fuck not? 106 00:04:34,280 --> 00:04:37,240 Because if I don't have them on display, how will people know they're available? 107 00:04:37,280 --> 00:04:39,440 They're not available. This is what I'm saying. 108 00:04:39,480 --> 00:04:44,200 I'm really fucking confused, lads. OK, Fra, is it? This is ridiculous. 109 00:04:44,240 --> 00:04:46,440 I would like to speak to your manager, please. 110 00:04:46,480 --> 00:04:47,800 I am the manager. 111 00:04:47,840 --> 00:04:49,120 You're the train manager? 112 00:04:49,160 --> 00:04:50,880 Yeah. You're the train manager 113 00:04:50,920 --> 00:04:53,320 and you also operate the snack trolley. That's right. 114 00:04:53,360 --> 00:04:55,480 I suppose you drive the train as well, do you, Fra? 115 00:04:55,520 --> 00:04:57,400 - Sometimes. - I'm sorry? 116 00:04:57,440 --> 00:04:59,840 I own the train. I own all the trains. 117 00:04:59,880 --> 00:05:01,960 Fuck me, there's wiser eating grass. 118 00:05:02,000 --> 00:05:03,600 Jesus Christ! 119 00:05:06,640 --> 00:05:07,880 You're upsetting the passengers. 120 00:05:07,920 --> 00:05:09,200 You're upsetting the passengers. 121 00:05:09,240 --> 00:05:11,200 Stop being a dick and give me a fucking KitKat. 122 00:05:11,240 --> 00:05:12,800 I'll give you a KitKat. Thank you. 123 00:05:12,840 --> 00:05:15,040 For 50 quid. Are you nuts? 124 00:05:15,080 --> 00:05:17,560 I think we've established he might be. 125 00:05:17,600 --> 00:05:18,800 Let go. Come on, Michelle. 126 00:05:18,840 --> 00:05:20,000 Make me. I'm warning you. 127 00:05:20,040 --> 00:05:21,560 Bite my eye. 128 00:05:21,600 --> 00:05:24,120 Oh, my God, it's Pippa from Home and Away. 129 00:05:24,160 --> 00:05:26,120 Original or recast? Sucker. 130 00:05:26,160 --> 00:05:27,440 Oh, you sneaky wee shite. 131 00:05:29,960 --> 00:05:31,920 I just don't want to get into it, Conor love, OK? 132 00:05:31,960 --> 00:05:33,640 Excuse me. I need your help. It's over. 133 00:05:33,680 --> 00:05:36,360 Why can't you just accept that, babe? Excuse me, please. 134 00:05:36,400 --> 00:05:38,040 What is it, honey? I missed the train. 135 00:05:38,080 --> 00:05:40,320 I was in the loo. When I came out everyone was gone, 136 00:05:40,360 --> 00:05:43,320 and it was the wrong platform, and I ran across, 137 00:05:43,360 --> 00:05:46,040 but it was too late and I missed the train. 138 00:05:46,080 --> 00:05:47,840 OK, love, keep your knickers on. 139 00:05:47,880 --> 00:05:50,800 My knickers are no concern of yours, thank you very much. 140 00:05:50,840 --> 00:05:55,440 20 minutes till the next one. Take a seat, gorgeous. 141 00:05:55,480 --> 00:06:00,240 20 minutes? Yeah. Sorry, I think I can wait 20 minutes. 142 00:06:00,280 --> 00:06:02,040 I think that's fine. 143 00:06:02,080 --> 00:06:04,920 MUSIC: Remember Me by Blue Boy 144 00:06:10,960 --> 00:06:13,040 # Remember me 145 00:06:13,080 --> 00:06:16,840 # I'm the one who had your baby's eyes... # 146 00:06:16,880 --> 00:06:19,160 OK. Do you wear glasses? 147 00:06:19,200 --> 00:06:22,200 Sure, glasses do nothing for me, Mary. You know that. 148 00:06:22,240 --> 00:06:23,720 No, your character. What? 149 00:06:23,760 --> 00:06:25,720 On the board, remember? Your character on the board. 150 00:06:25,760 --> 00:06:28,000 Are they wearing glasses? 151 00:06:28,040 --> 00:06:30,840 Aged six and up it said on the box. 152 00:06:30,880 --> 00:06:32,080 Are you a woman? 153 00:06:32,120 --> 00:06:34,440 What kind of a bloody question is that? Smart hole. 154 00:06:34,480 --> 00:06:35,480 OK, you seem to have a bit of 155 00:06:35,520 --> 00:06:37,280 a problem grasping the concept here, Joe. 156 00:06:37,320 --> 00:06:40,200 I'll tell you what I'll not have trouble grasping. Your neck. 157 00:06:40,240 --> 00:06:43,800 Ach, isn't this lovely? 158 00:06:43,840 --> 00:06:47,280 Are we wearing something belonging to her? 159 00:06:47,320 --> 00:06:50,720 Mary? Ha. I don't believe it. 160 00:06:50,760 --> 00:06:51,960 Ach, would you look who it is. 161 00:06:52,000 --> 00:06:55,320 My God. Sarah McCool. 162 00:06:55,360 --> 00:06:57,840 Have you got a picture in the attic? 163 00:06:57,880 --> 00:06:59,320 Ach, away of that. 164 00:06:59,360 --> 00:07:01,480 She hasn't changed a bit, sure she hasn't. 165 00:07:01,520 --> 00:07:03,360 Aye, well, a lot of work goes into it. 166 00:07:03,400 --> 00:07:06,280 Ach, Joe, Gerry. You keeping well? 167 00:07:06,320 --> 00:07:08,800 Not so bad, not so bad. No complaints, love. 168 00:07:08,840 --> 00:07:11,640 I can't believe I've run into you. I'm not back a wet week. 169 00:07:11,680 --> 00:07:16,040 How are you finding it? Strange, you know. But good, good strange. 170 00:07:16,080 --> 00:07:18,080 Look, I have to get off at the next stop, 171 00:07:18,120 --> 00:07:20,320 and my stuff is all the way up the other end, so... 172 00:07:20,360 --> 00:07:23,440 No bother at all. So good to see you again. 173 00:07:23,480 --> 00:07:26,000 You too. Bye. 174 00:07:28,120 --> 00:07:30,120 Who was that? No idea. 175 00:07:30,160 --> 00:07:31,560 Don't know her from Adam. 176 00:07:31,600 --> 00:07:33,200 So why did you pretend that you did? 177 00:07:33,240 --> 00:07:35,040 We could hardly break the girl, Gerry. 178 00:07:35,080 --> 00:07:37,600 That's the trouble with you Dubliners. You've no manners. 179 00:07:37,640 --> 00:07:41,160 I'm not from Dublin, Joe. 180 00:07:41,200 --> 00:07:43,280 Is he not? I'm from Navan. 181 00:07:43,320 --> 00:07:45,080 Sure that's worse. How is that worse? 182 00:07:45,120 --> 00:07:46,600 I don't know, but it's not better. 183 00:07:46,640 --> 00:07:48,440 Look, it's grand. She's gone now. 184 00:07:48,480 --> 00:07:50,160 We got away with it. We totally got away with it. 185 00:07:50,200 --> 00:07:53,680 ANNOUNCER: Ladies and gentlemen, our apologies for any inconvenience... Are we slowing down? 186 00:07:53,720 --> 00:07:56,440 There's a problem on the line. We will be holding the train here indefinitely. 187 00:07:56,480 --> 00:07:58,960 Hello, again. Ha-ha-ha. 188 00:07:59,000 --> 00:08:01,000 And you thought you'd seen the back of me. 189 00:08:01,040 --> 00:08:02,160 Aye, we did, aye. 190 00:08:02,200 --> 00:08:03,680 Come on. 191 00:08:11,240 --> 00:08:15,400 How much longer are we going to be stuck here? This is unbearable. 192 00:08:15,440 --> 00:08:17,520 It's been a minute, Michelle. Like 60 seconds. 193 00:08:17,560 --> 00:08:19,400 I am so fucking bored. 194 00:08:19,440 --> 00:08:22,760 Oh. I know this really cracker game. 195 00:08:22,800 --> 00:08:24,480 Yeah? I think of a number 196 00:08:24,520 --> 00:08:26,320 and you all have to guess what it is. 197 00:08:26,360 --> 00:08:28,480 Orla, we're not going to sit here guessing numbers. 198 00:08:28,520 --> 00:08:30,600 7. No. 21. No. 88. No. 199 00:08:30,640 --> 00:08:34,280 2,035. No. 200 00:08:34,320 --> 00:08:36,920 Or we could just, you know, talk. Talk? 201 00:08:36,960 --> 00:08:40,360 Yes, Michelle, talk, like normal people, who are normal. 202 00:08:40,400 --> 00:08:42,800 We ran out of things to talk about in 1993, Erin. 203 00:08:42,840 --> 00:08:45,840 No, we didn't. There's lots we could talk about. 204 00:08:45,880 --> 00:08:50,160 Like? Like our hopes, our ambitions, our dreams. 205 00:08:50,200 --> 00:08:53,800 OK, so last night there was this lion chasing me, 206 00:08:53,840 --> 00:08:56,920 but it had wee, tiny legs. 207 00:08:56,960 --> 00:08:58,280 It was a full size lion 208 00:08:58,320 --> 00:09:01,120 but it had the legs of a sausage dog. 209 00:09:01,160 --> 00:09:02,840 Not those type of dreams, Orla. 210 00:09:02,880 --> 00:09:05,120 I mean our dreams for the future. 211 00:09:05,160 --> 00:09:07,240 What lives do we want to live? 212 00:09:07,280 --> 00:09:10,000 What legacy do we hope to leave? 213 00:09:12,320 --> 00:09:15,240 Yes, James, go on. 214 00:09:15,280 --> 00:09:18,800 Oh, sorry. I thought I was going to sneeze, but I lost it. 215 00:09:18,840 --> 00:09:22,320 Fine. We'll just sit here in silence then. Is that what you want? 216 00:09:22,360 --> 00:09:24,840 It's not a bad idea, actually. Suits me. 217 00:09:24,880 --> 00:09:27,320 I'll just think in my own head. 218 00:09:27,360 --> 00:09:30,240 Clare would have talked. Sh. 219 00:09:40,040 --> 00:09:43,840 CLARE CLEARS HER THROAT Here we go. 220 00:09:43,880 --> 00:09:47,600 Ah. Sister Michael. Hi. 221 00:09:47,640 --> 00:09:50,320 Clare. I wasn't sure you saw me. 222 00:09:50,360 --> 00:09:52,440 No, no, I did. 223 00:09:52,480 --> 00:09:54,440 Right. 224 00:09:58,200 --> 00:10:00,440 Heading to Portrush? 225 00:10:00,480 --> 00:10:02,560 Yep. 226 00:10:02,600 --> 00:10:04,680 Anything nice planned? 227 00:10:04,720 --> 00:10:06,400 No. 228 00:10:06,440 --> 00:10:08,320 OK. 229 00:10:08,360 --> 00:10:12,160 I just don't see the point. Can't we just move on? 230 00:10:12,200 --> 00:10:18,280 All right, Conor. The truth is, you never satisfied me sexually. 231 00:10:18,320 --> 00:10:20,160 Oh, please no. 232 00:10:20,200 --> 00:10:22,000 Oh, Christ, it's been... 233 00:10:22,040 --> 00:10:23,880 Years? Has it been years? 234 00:10:23,920 --> 00:10:27,800 Ha. At least ten. Oh, God, imagine. 235 00:10:27,840 --> 00:10:30,040 What age must your wee girls be now? 14. 236 00:10:30,080 --> 00:10:33,480 They're 17. God, time flies, doesn't it? 237 00:10:33,520 --> 00:10:36,320 And what about you? How's your...do you...have you? 238 00:10:36,360 --> 00:10:40,520 Playing with fire there, Mary. Are you still, you know, are you not, you know? 239 00:10:40,560 --> 00:10:43,520 You don't have to beat around the bush, Mary. 240 00:10:43,560 --> 00:10:45,280 Well, I do a bit. 241 00:10:45,320 --> 00:10:46,960 I'm still single. Ah. 242 00:10:47,000 --> 00:10:48,800 Sure, who'd take me on? 243 00:10:48,840 --> 00:10:51,120 Don't say that. You're a fine-looking woman. 244 00:10:51,160 --> 00:10:53,040 Stop it. I'm serious. 245 00:10:53,080 --> 00:10:56,320 You could slice your hand on those cheekbones. 246 00:10:56,360 --> 00:10:57,800 Well, I mean, 247 00:10:57,840 --> 00:11:01,640 there was someone once, but, he's married now, so. 248 00:11:01,680 --> 00:11:02,800 But not to you. 249 00:11:02,840 --> 00:11:06,200 Sure it's only what I deserve, after what happened. 250 00:11:06,240 --> 00:11:08,280 Isn't that what everybody thinks? 251 00:11:08,320 --> 00:11:11,760 Is it? But sure, who hasn't made a mistake in their time, girls? 252 00:11:11,800 --> 00:11:13,120 Don't talk to me. 253 00:11:13,160 --> 00:11:16,480 I had a perm in '85 that made me look like Leo Sayer. 254 00:11:16,520 --> 00:11:20,680 Dark days. Very dark days. 255 00:11:20,720 --> 00:11:22,920 Anyway, enough of my woes. 256 00:11:24,440 --> 00:11:27,160 We've not heard much out of you, Joe. How's life been treating you? 257 00:11:27,200 --> 00:11:31,160 Ah, not great, I'm afraid. I caught dementia. 258 00:11:31,200 --> 00:11:34,040 Dementia? Riddled with it, so I am. 259 00:11:34,080 --> 00:11:36,400 Ach, that's awful. I can't remember a bloody thing. 260 00:11:36,440 --> 00:11:39,680 I am so sorry to hear that, Joe. 261 00:11:39,720 --> 00:11:42,160 Thanks, love. 262 00:11:42,200 --> 00:11:43,400 Fair play, Joe. 263 00:11:46,880 --> 00:11:50,000 DEEP BREATHING I'm sorry, can nobody else hear that? 264 00:11:50,040 --> 00:11:51,480 What? The racket you're making. 265 00:11:51,520 --> 00:11:52,520 I'm just breathing. 266 00:11:52,560 --> 00:11:56,080 It sounds a bit like when you let the air out of a bouncy castle. 267 00:11:56,120 --> 00:11:59,280 It's average. It's normal, average breathing. 268 00:11:59,320 --> 00:12:00,640 It's English breathing, James. 269 00:12:00,680 --> 00:12:02,640 It is a bit oppressive, actually. 270 00:12:02,680 --> 00:12:05,600 Fine. I'll just sit on my own, then, shall I? 271 00:12:05,640 --> 00:12:06,760 Yeah, thank you. 272 00:12:11,000 --> 00:12:14,640 What is taking you so long, dick splash? 273 00:12:14,680 --> 00:12:16,400 This isn't my bag. 274 00:12:16,440 --> 00:12:18,040 Are you sure? Unless I forgot 275 00:12:18,080 --> 00:12:21,480 the fact that I packed a shit-ton of cash and a gun. 276 00:12:21,520 --> 00:12:23,880 What? 277 00:12:23,920 --> 00:12:26,320 And a pair of pliers, some hairspray, 278 00:12:26,360 --> 00:12:29,920 a toothbrush, and one of those wee face hats. 279 00:12:29,960 --> 00:12:31,640 A face hat? 280 00:12:31,680 --> 00:12:35,440 Jesus Christ, Orla. 281 00:12:35,480 --> 00:12:37,320 And a bag of Tayto. What flavour? 282 00:12:37,360 --> 00:12:40,120 Salt and vinegar. Can we focus here, please? 283 00:12:40,160 --> 00:12:41,640 There's at least a grand in here. 284 00:12:41,680 --> 00:12:44,040 And a gun. An actual gun. 285 00:12:44,080 --> 00:12:46,000 That guy. 286 00:12:47,960 --> 00:12:51,840 When he was moving he must have taken my bag by mistake. 287 00:12:51,880 --> 00:12:53,280 Just put it back. 288 00:12:53,320 --> 00:12:56,200 What? The bag. Just put it back. 289 00:12:56,240 --> 00:12:58,400 And what about my bag? 290 00:12:58,440 --> 00:13:01,400 It has my camera in it, my swimming trunks. 291 00:13:01,440 --> 00:13:04,560 Just swim in your cacks. I don't want to swim in my cacks. 292 00:13:04,600 --> 00:13:06,080 This is more important than your cacks. 293 00:13:06,120 --> 00:13:09,200 He's dangerous. Just put it back exactly as it was. 294 00:13:09,240 --> 00:13:12,440 He can't know that we have touched anything. 295 00:13:16,440 --> 00:13:17,720 Fantastic. 296 00:13:24,000 --> 00:13:25,720 Right, so that's five cups of tea, 297 00:13:25,760 --> 00:13:27,840 a juice for the wean. I'll take a KitKat. 298 00:13:27,880 --> 00:13:29,960 No KitKats, I'm afraid. Yeah, there's some there. 299 00:13:30,000 --> 00:13:32,320 Those are display KitKats. Display KitKats? 300 00:13:32,360 --> 00:13:35,160 They're for display purposes only, bird brain. 301 00:13:35,200 --> 00:13:37,840 I'll get these. Indeed you will not. Put your purse away. 302 00:13:37,880 --> 00:13:39,880 I've got it. Here, son. 303 00:13:39,920 --> 00:13:41,920 Ah. Here, hold on, son. 304 00:13:41,960 --> 00:13:45,800 You've done yourself. That's 50p too much. 305 00:13:45,840 --> 00:13:49,320 God, you'd never know he had dementia. 306 00:13:49,360 --> 00:13:51,440 Aye, it comes and goes. 307 00:13:51,480 --> 00:13:54,640 Thanks. And thanks for being so nice. 308 00:13:54,680 --> 00:13:56,920 Not everyone has been glad to see me back. 309 00:13:56,960 --> 00:13:59,280 People can be so judgmental. 310 00:13:59,320 --> 00:14:01,000 I bet you were shocked at the time, too. 311 00:14:01,040 --> 00:14:04,520 You must have felt like you didn't even know me. 312 00:14:04,560 --> 00:14:06,880 Who really knows anybody? 313 00:14:06,920 --> 00:14:11,080 You can ask me about it, girls. I know you must be dying to. 314 00:14:11,120 --> 00:14:15,880 Ach, sure, is there any point in raking it all up again? 315 00:14:15,920 --> 00:14:18,280 Ask me. 316 00:14:21,960 --> 00:14:23,520 I have irritable bowel syndrome. 317 00:14:23,560 --> 00:14:26,160 I'm sorry? Don't be. It's just one of those things. 318 00:14:26,200 --> 00:14:27,720 Aye, mine's playing up, now you mention it. 319 00:14:27,760 --> 00:14:29,840 You have trouble with your bowels as well, do you, Sarah? 320 00:14:29,880 --> 00:14:33,040 I'm crippled with them, Gerry, as well you know. 321 00:14:36,400 --> 00:14:37,960 Do you fancy a game of Guess Who? 322 00:14:39,760 --> 00:14:43,800 Maybe it wasn't a robbery. Maybe he's a hit man 323 00:14:43,840 --> 00:14:46,040 and that stash is his blood money. 324 00:14:46,080 --> 00:14:48,440 We don't have hit men. We have Provos. 325 00:14:48,480 --> 00:14:51,280 We had Provos, but ever since the ceasefire, 326 00:14:51,320 --> 00:14:53,120 paramilitary work has been drying up a bit, 327 00:14:53,160 --> 00:14:55,640 so maybe people are branching out. 328 00:14:55,680 --> 00:14:57,240 You're welcome. Huh. 329 00:14:57,280 --> 00:14:58,480 The display KitKats? 330 00:14:58,520 --> 00:15:00,960 How did you get the display KitKats? 331 00:15:01,000 --> 00:15:03,560 I made him an offer he couldn't refuse. 332 00:15:03,600 --> 00:15:07,560 What sort of offer? Let's just say everybody has their price. 333 00:15:07,600 --> 00:15:11,840 Orla. You know the money that was in that bag with the gun? 334 00:15:11,880 --> 00:15:13,040 Go on. 335 00:15:13,080 --> 00:15:16,200 Please tell me you did not swap that money for those KitKats. No. 336 00:15:16,240 --> 00:15:17,680 Oh, thank God. 337 00:15:17,720 --> 00:15:19,520 I mean, not all of it. 338 00:15:19,560 --> 00:15:21,520 How much of it? 339 00:15:21,560 --> 00:15:24,840 500 or something. Fucking hell, Orla. 340 00:15:24,880 --> 00:15:27,120 Shit. Look. He's going to open the bag. 341 00:15:27,160 --> 00:15:30,600 He's going to open the bag. He's going to realise it's the wrong one 342 00:15:30,640 --> 00:15:34,040 and he's going to come over here, he's going to find his bag, 343 00:15:34,080 --> 00:15:35,440 he's going to look inside, 344 00:15:35,480 --> 00:15:39,200 he's going to see that there's 500 quid missing. 345 00:15:39,240 --> 00:15:41,440 Then he's going to kill all of us 346 00:15:41,480 --> 00:15:44,240 with his actual gun that he actually has. 347 00:15:44,280 --> 00:15:45,520 We need to get out of here. 348 00:15:49,520 --> 00:15:50,960 Christ, this is desperate. 349 00:15:51,000 --> 00:15:53,760 I know, Mary. We're in too deep. There's only one thing for it. 350 00:15:53,800 --> 00:15:56,480 OK, let's do it. What are you playing at? 351 00:15:56,520 --> 00:15:58,600 I thought we were making a run for it. We can't do that. 352 00:15:58,640 --> 00:16:01,280 Why not? We're in the back arse of nowhere, for one thing, 353 00:16:01,320 --> 00:16:03,720 and we can't just abandon Gerry, Daddy and our own weans. 354 00:16:03,760 --> 00:16:05,240 Are you sure? 355 00:16:05,280 --> 00:16:07,360 No. We can't desert our family 356 00:16:07,400 --> 00:16:10,240 because we got ourselves into a slightly embarrassing situation. 357 00:16:10,280 --> 00:16:12,960 Slightly embarrassing? I'm turning inside out here. 358 00:16:13,000 --> 00:16:15,080 We have to tell the truth. 359 00:16:15,120 --> 00:16:20,040 We have to tell her we can't remember who she is. Oh. 360 00:16:20,080 --> 00:16:23,400 Jesus, just hand me a spade and let me bury myself. 361 00:16:26,440 --> 00:16:29,480 We'd like a word. I'm busy. 362 00:16:29,520 --> 00:16:31,080 We want it back. What? 363 00:16:31,120 --> 00:16:32,240 You know what, dickhead. 364 00:16:32,280 --> 00:16:34,200 The money. The £500. 365 00:16:34,240 --> 00:16:36,040 I have no idea what you're talking about. 366 00:16:36,080 --> 00:16:37,560 We can return the KitKats. 367 00:16:37,600 --> 00:16:39,640 - No, we can't. - Honestly, Orla. 368 00:16:39,680 --> 00:16:41,800 Look, my cousin isn't all there, you know, brain-wise. 369 00:16:41,840 --> 00:16:44,400 Oh, really? Because she told me she got better grades 370 00:16:44,440 --> 00:16:45,880 in her GCSEs than you did. So. 371 00:16:45,920 --> 00:16:49,200 She didn't get better grades. You didn't get better grades than me, we got the same grades. 372 00:16:49,240 --> 00:16:50,800 I tried to have hers disputed because... 373 00:16:50,840 --> 00:16:52,080 Let's keep on track here, Erin. 374 00:16:52,120 --> 00:16:54,640 OK. The point is, you took advantage of her, 375 00:16:54,680 --> 00:16:56,280 so just give us back the money, or... 376 00:16:56,320 --> 00:16:58,680 Or what? What are you going to do? 377 00:16:58,720 --> 00:17:02,200 OK, Fra. We never wanted it to come to this. 378 00:17:03,440 --> 00:17:07,360 But you have messed with the wrong crowd this time, punk. 379 00:17:07,400 --> 00:17:10,320 Orla, no. For the love of God, no. 380 00:17:10,360 --> 00:17:13,440 Do not pull out that... Is that a toothbrush? 381 00:17:13,480 --> 00:17:15,520 It's not just any toothbrush. 382 00:17:15,560 --> 00:17:17,960 WHIRRING 383 00:17:18,000 --> 00:17:21,000 I see. You think it's wise threatening someone in my position? 384 00:17:21,040 --> 00:17:22,360 You're a trolley dolly, Fra, so. 385 00:17:22,400 --> 00:17:23,880 Yeah, and it's a toothbrush. 386 00:17:23,920 --> 00:17:28,080 You think I'm not armed. Well, think again. 387 00:17:28,120 --> 00:17:30,600 This has gone in a direction I wasn't expecting. 388 00:17:30,640 --> 00:17:32,520 Orla, drop the toothbrush. Fra, lose the banana. 389 00:17:32,560 --> 00:17:34,560 This is serious. Someone could get hurt. 390 00:17:34,600 --> 00:17:36,520 Really? I'll take my chances. 391 00:17:36,560 --> 00:17:38,640 Oh, I'm not backing down now. I've come too far. 392 00:17:38,680 --> 00:17:42,160 OK, so I'm thinking we could be here a while. 393 00:17:42,200 --> 00:17:44,800 Oh, my God! It's Bouncer from Neighbours. 394 00:17:44,840 --> 00:17:46,480 I thought he was dead. 395 00:17:47,720 --> 00:17:49,240 Leg it. 396 00:17:49,280 --> 00:17:50,320 Damn it. 397 00:17:55,320 --> 00:17:57,040 Do you have freckles? 398 00:17:57,080 --> 00:18:00,000 Yes. 399 00:18:00,040 --> 00:18:01,280 Think I'm getting warmer. 400 00:18:01,320 --> 00:18:03,920 Well, you're not getting any bloody wiser, that's for certain. 401 00:18:03,960 --> 00:18:06,520 All right, Mary? Do you want to play Guess Who? 402 00:18:06,560 --> 00:18:08,120 Well, it's funny you should say that. 403 00:18:08,160 --> 00:18:10,680 It's absolutely brilliant. Come here. 404 00:18:10,720 --> 00:18:13,800 Look at this. Who does that look like? 405 00:18:13,840 --> 00:18:16,160 Isn't he the absolute spit of our Thomas? 406 00:18:16,200 --> 00:18:17,880 I mean, if you can imagine the 'tache. 407 00:18:17,920 --> 00:18:19,600 He looks like Thomas O'Shea. 408 00:18:19,640 --> 00:18:22,440 Yeah. Thomas O'Shea. 409 00:18:22,480 --> 00:18:24,200 Lived three doors down from us on the Lecky Road. 410 00:18:24,240 --> 00:18:28,480 He had a sister, Aideen O'Shea. This is Aideen O'Shea. 411 00:18:28,520 --> 00:18:31,840 Aideen. That's it. Aideen O'Shea was massive. 412 00:18:31,880 --> 00:18:35,600 No, Sarah. We're talking huge. Gorgeous looking girl, 413 00:18:35,640 --> 00:18:37,600 but she'd have made four of you, love. 414 00:18:37,640 --> 00:18:41,040 And she was mad. Sure, didn't she get banged up? 415 00:18:41,080 --> 00:18:43,200 Sarah, really? She's in prison. 416 00:18:43,240 --> 00:18:44,520 She's not any more. 417 00:18:45,840 --> 00:18:50,680 But a ten-year stretch does wonders for the old figure. 418 00:18:50,720 --> 00:18:54,400 Ach, Aideen, what about you? 419 00:18:57,280 --> 00:18:59,000 OK, he's still there. 420 00:18:59,040 --> 00:19:00,760 Doesn't seem to have noticed anything. 421 00:19:00,800 --> 00:19:03,280 So now we just need to decide who's going to actually, 422 00:19:03,320 --> 00:19:07,360 you know, make the switch. IN UNISON: You are. 423 00:19:07,400 --> 00:19:09,800 I don't want to do it. I think Orla should do it. 424 00:19:09,840 --> 00:19:11,320 What a fucking gentleman. 425 00:19:11,360 --> 00:19:13,200 Well, she's got those massive shoes on. 426 00:19:13,240 --> 00:19:17,040 It'll be easier for her to reach the rack. 427 00:19:17,080 --> 00:19:20,720 MUSIC: I Wanna Be The Only One by Eternal 428 00:19:27,040 --> 00:19:30,120 # Yes, I see you crying 429 00:19:30,160 --> 00:19:33,840 # Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah And I feel your... 430 00:19:35,920 --> 00:19:37,920 What the hell are you doing with that? 431 00:19:37,960 --> 00:19:40,800 It must have fell when the train started. 432 00:19:40,840 --> 00:19:43,080 Right. 433 00:19:43,120 --> 00:19:45,560 Nice boots. 434 00:19:45,600 --> 00:19:46,760 Thank you very much. 435 00:19:46,800 --> 00:19:50,480 Now get the fuck off me. Absolutely. 436 00:19:50,520 --> 00:19:53,920 # I wanna be the only one to hold you 437 00:19:53,960 --> 00:19:55,560 # Protect you from the rain... # 438 00:19:56,960 --> 00:19:58,400 And I'd just generally like 439 00:19:58,440 --> 00:20:01,080 to be a bit more adventurous, you know? 440 00:20:01,120 --> 00:20:03,360 It's just all missionary, missionary, 441 00:20:03,400 --> 00:20:05,800 missionary. You know my friend Roisin? 442 00:20:05,840 --> 00:20:08,480 She told me her and Marty Collins get up to all sorts. 443 00:20:08,520 --> 00:20:11,240 She ties him up and everything. I'd love to do that. 444 00:20:11,280 --> 00:20:13,400 No, Conor, not tie you up. 445 00:20:13,440 --> 00:20:18,120 No, I mean I'd love to tie Marty Collins up. Oh, he's so hot. 446 00:20:18,160 --> 00:20:20,400 ANNOUNCER: The next train from platform two 447 00:20:20,440 --> 00:20:23,880 will be the 9:40 from Londonderry to Portrush, calling at... 448 00:20:23,920 --> 00:20:27,640 I think I'll head out to the platform. Good idea. Excuse me, madam. 449 00:20:27,680 --> 00:20:30,960 Yeah. I must tell you I am shocked. 450 00:20:31,000 --> 00:20:34,080 I know what you're going to say to me - "It's none of my business," 451 00:20:34,120 --> 00:20:39,960 but what cowboy is responsible for this soundproofing? 452 00:20:40,000 --> 00:20:42,240 It's atrocious. 453 00:20:42,280 --> 00:20:45,480 You need to speak to the lad who did our confessionals. 454 00:20:45,520 --> 00:20:46,600 They're great. 455 00:20:46,640 --> 00:20:48,480 There are fellas telling Father Peter 456 00:20:48,520 --> 00:20:51,560 where they stashed the murder weapon and the congregation 457 00:20:51,600 --> 00:20:54,440 is none the wiser. I'll drop his number in to you. 458 00:20:58,640 --> 00:21:00,760 I can't believe it. 459 00:21:00,800 --> 00:21:03,920 I lose a bit of weight and you don't recognise me? 460 00:21:03,960 --> 00:21:06,520 Yeah, were you following any sort of programme in there, or? 461 00:21:06,560 --> 00:21:08,400 Oh, my God. We grew up together, girls. 462 00:21:08,440 --> 00:21:11,960 I have the same eyes. I have the same smile. 463 00:21:12,000 --> 00:21:13,160 Come on now, 464 00:21:13,200 --> 00:21:15,440 you must have cut out the carbs. Did you? 465 00:21:15,480 --> 00:21:19,320 Any real change that happened, happened in here. 466 00:21:19,360 --> 00:21:23,120 Going to prison, it was...it was tough, 467 00:21:23,160 --> 00:21:26,680 but it allowed me to work on myself. 468 00:21:26,720 --> 00:21:30,720 And now that I'm out, I'm going to do some good. 469 00:21:30,760 --> 00:21:34,880 I'm going to make a difference. 470 00:21:34,920 --> 00:21:37,160 Weights, was it? Excuse me. 471 00:21:37,200 --> 00:21:39,920 Holy shit. Thought I'd better come find you. 472 00:21:39,960 --> 00:21:41,840 I'm getting off at this next stop here. 473 00:21:41,880 --> 00:21:44,000 Jesus, I left this fella to mind my bag. 474 00:21:44,040 --> 00:21:45,880 You must have thought I wasn't coming back. 475 00:21:45,920 --> 00:21:47,280 Don't worry, sweetheart, there you go. 476 00:21:47,320 --> 00:21:49,120 Thank you. 477 00:21:49,160 --> 00:21:51,080 Castlerock. Please depart safely. 478 00:21:51,120 --> 00:21:54,520 Well, I'd better go too, so... 479 00:21:54,560 --> 00:21:58,200 I really hope it works out for you, Aideen. I really mean that. 480 00:21:58,240 --> 00:22:04,960 Thanks, Mary. Right. Now, where is my ticket? 481 00:22:10,720 --> 00:22:13,000 Bastard. What's wrong? 482 00:22:13,040 --> 00:22:15,080 I had a pack of Tayto in here. 483 00:22:15,120 --> 00:22:17,480 That fella must have took them. 484 00:22:17,520 --> 00:22:19,160 Animal. 485 00:22:19,200 --> 00:22:20,600 I'll kill him. 486 00:22:23,760 --> 00:22:25,960 Oi, you. Bucko. 487 00:22:26,000 --> 00:22:29,840 What have you done with my Taytos? What's wrong with you, you mad bastard? 488 00:22:29,880 --> 00:22:32,440 Take those fucking headphones off. 489 00:22:32,480 --> 00:22:33,800 Who is she, Mammy? 490 00:22:33,840 --> 00:22:37,360 Just a girl we knew once. Had a tough life. 491 00:22:37,400 --> 00:22:38,960 Made a few mistakes, 492 00:22:39,000 --> 00:22:41,640 but she has totally turned things around now. 493 00:22:41,680 --> 00:22:44,200 Really? Where are my crisps? 494 00:22:44,240 --> 00:22:48,480 She is not happy about him nicking the cheese and onion, is she? 495 00:22:48,520 --> 00:22:50,680 They were salt and vinegar. 496 00:22:50,720 --> 00:22:53,080 What? That fuckwit. Him. 497 00:22:53,120 --> 00:22:54,200 That fucker there. 498 00:22:54,240 --> 00:22:57,120 Is he pointing at you, son? Oh, God. 499 00:22:57,160 --> 00:22:58,760 It was him. It was him. 500 00:22:59,960 --> 00:23:04,560 Where's my crisps? You owe me a packet of crisps. 501 00:23:07,120 --> 00:23:10,360 Where's my Tayto? Where's my salt and vinegar crisps? 502 00:23:10,400 --> 00:23:12,720 You stole my crisps. 503 00:23:14,880 --> 00:23:17,680 MUSIC: Breathe by The Prodigy 504 00:23:26,840 --> 00:23:28,320 MACHINE WHIRS 505 00:23:30,800 --> 00:23:34,240 SCREAMING 506 00:23:34,280 --> 00:23:36,000 Yeah, this is going to be a great shot, I think. 507 00:23:36,040 --> 00:23:38,240 Just make sure you get the bit where it turns upside down. 508 00:23:38,280 --> 00:23:39,880 Turns upside down? 509 00:23:39,920 --> 00:23:41,720 I just hope to Christ my hat stays on. 510 00:23:41,760 --> 00:23:45,120 MUSIC: Place Your Hands By Reef 511 00:23:48,400 --> 00:23:49,640 Hold on tight, everyone. 512 00:23:52,960 --> 00:23:57,120 # Run your fingers 513 00:23:57,160 --> 00:24:00,800 # Through my soul... # 514 00:24:06,080 --> 00:24:07,440 Here we go, folks. 515 00:24:14,960 --> 00:24:16,760 TANNOY: Ladies and gentlemen, 516 00:24:16,800 --> 00:24:18,960 we appear to have a technical problem. 517 00:24:19,000 --> 00:24:21,760 We're going to have to stall here for the time being. 518 00:24:21,800 --> 00:24:23,320 God almighty. 519 00:24:26,240 --> 00:24:29,320 MUSIC: Mmmbop By Hanson 520 00:24:41,320 --> 00:24:43,440 # You have so many relationships in this life 521 00:24:43,480 --> 00:24:45,680 # Only one or two will last 522 00:24:46,640 --> 00:24:48,560 # You go through all the pain and strife 523 00:24:48,600 --> 00:24:51,240 # Then you turn your back and they're gone so fast... # 524 00:24:52,680 --> 00:24:55,000 Subtitles by Red Bee Media