1
00:00:05,160 --> 00:00:07,280
Will this be enough? I thought
you weren't going to bother
2
00:00:07,320 --> 00:00:09,600
making lunch, we were going
to get something there. We are.
3
00:00:09,640 --> 00:00:11,840
This is for the journey.
It's an hour on the train, love.
4
00:00:11,880 --> 00:00:13,400
Aye, better do a few more rounds.
5
00:00:13,440 --> 00:00:15,720
No more rounds. For the love of God,
put the knife down, woman.
6
00:00:15,760 --> 00:00:17,680
Why have you got
a surfboard, Joe?
7
00:00:17,720 --> 00:00:20,480
Jim across the road gave me
the lend. I'll start again.
8
00:00:20,520 --> 00:00:22,680
What are you planning to do
with the surfboard, Joe?
9
00:00:22,720 --> 00:00:25,000
Surf. Something I always
fancied doing,
10
00:00:25,040 --> 00:00:26,400
ever since I saw that film,
11
00:00:26,440 --> 00:00:28,520
the one where the lads
try to catch thon big fish.
12
00:00:28,560 --> 00:00:29,880
What film is that?
13
00:00:29,920 --> 00:00:32,880
You know, the big fish,
the musical fish.
14
00:00:32,920 --> 00:00:34,040
The musical fish?
15
00:00:34,080 --> 00:00:36,520
He hums a tune before
he attacks people.
16
00:00:36,560 --> 00:00:38,840
They try to catch him
but their boat's too wee.
17
00:00:38,880 --> 00:00:40,440
Are you talking about Jaws?
That's the one.
18
00:00:40,480 --> 00:00:42,360
Jaws made you
want to take up surfing?
19
00:00:42,400 --> 00:00:43,800
Aye. Grand so.
20
00:00:43,840 --> 00:00:46,040
Christ, is that the time?
21
00:00:46,080 --> 00:00:48,080
I've that much to do
I'm passing myself here,
22
00:00:48,120 --> 00:00:50,520
and now my right ear has
closed over.
23
00:00:50,560 --> 00:00:53,680
What? I've been trying
to put my earring in for 45 minutes,
24
00:00:53,720 --> 00:00:56,840
but no joy. Give us over an ice
cube, will you, Mary?
25
00:00:56,880 --> 00:00:59,480
I'm going to freeze the lobe
and ram a needle through it.
26
00:00:59,520 --> 00:01:01,640
Please don't. Take them off, Orla,
they're mental.
27
00:01:01,680 --> 00:01:03,840
They're cracking.
Are they really suitable, love?
28
00:01:03,880 --> 00:01:06,040
They won't let you on
the disco swing if you don't meet
29
00:01:06,080 --> 00:01:10,240
the height restrictions, Aunt Mary.
I simply will not risk it.
30
00:01:10,280 --> 00:01:14,040
TV: Ian Paisley and the DUP say they
will not enter any kind of talks
31
00:01:14,080 --> 00:01:17,880
with Sinn Fein unless
the IRA decommission all arms.
32
00:01:17,920 --> 00:01:20,480
I'm convinced they don't know where
they are.
33
00:01:20,520 --> 00:01:22,880
What's that? The IRA. Well,
34
00:01:22,920 --> 00:01:26,680
after the ceasefire they've all this
stuff just lying about,
35
00:01:26,720 --> 00:01:29,760
you know, their guns, their Semtex,
36
00:01:29,800 --> 00:01:31,080
their other bits and bobs,
37
00:01:31,120 --> 00:01:32,760
and there's nothing worse
than clutter.
38
00:01:32,800 --> 00:01:35,080
Exactly like Mammy's
Toby jug collection.
39
00:01:35,120 --> 00:01:36,440
I was just thinking that, Mary.
40
00:01:36,480 --> 00:01:39,560
I bagsed them all up, stored them
somewhere safe, thought no more
about them.
41
00:01:39,600 --> 00:01:42,840
Six months later Daddy wants to plant
some seeds in John Wayne.
42
00:01:42,880 --> 00:01:44,360
Can I remember where I put them?
43
00:01:44,400 --> 00:01:46,920
Are you saying you think
the IRA won't decommission
44
00:01:46,960 --> 00:01:49,080
because they've misplaced
their balaclavas?
45
00:01:49,120 --> 00:01:51,680
I mean, they'll turn up, I'm sure.
The balaclavas?
46
00:01:51,720 --> 00:01:52,760
The Toby jugs.
47
00:01:52,800 --> 00:01:54,280
TV: It's a serious stumbling block
48
00:01:54,320 --> 00:01:56,120
in an already precarious peace
process.
49
00:01:56,160 --> 00:01:58,360
I just can't believe this.
50
00:01:58,400 --> 00:02:00,640
Yeah. Let's hope they can work
it out.
51
00:02:00,680 --> 00:02:04,040
I've frozen the wrong lobe.
I see.
52
00:02:09,720 --> 00:02:12,760
Portrush, with a Protestant,
Unionist majority,
53
00:02:12,800 --> 00:02:15,040
yet many Catholics from
54
00:02:15,080 --> 00:02:17,960
Derry risk travelling there
every summer.
55
00:02:18,000 --> 00:02:20,800
Why? Well, because it's got a
cracking big dipper.
56
00:02:20,840 --> 00:02:22,520
Get that thing out of my
face, James,
57
00:02:22,560 --> 00:02:24,480
I haven't even got my eyes on yet.
58
00:02:24,520 --> 00:02:27,400
Why'd you bring it, son?
You're not going to be able
to take it on any of the rides.
59
00:02:27,440 --> 00:02:28,480
What are you laughing at?
60
00:02:28,520 --> 00:02:30,200
Is it because Uncle Gerry
said "rides"?
61
00:02:30,240 --> 00:02:31,720
Speaking of rides.
Seriously.
62
00:02:31,760 --> 00:02:33,760
Don't be asking to go on that
ghost train? Do you hear me?
63
00:02:33,800 --> 00:02:35,320
You'll be all Billy big balls at
the time,
64
00:02:35,360 --> 00:02:38,640
but I'll have to deal with the
fallout at three in the morning
when you wake up
65
00:02:38,680 --> 00:02:40,400
screaming and crying about some
fella with no head.
66
00:02:40,440 --> 00:02:42,160
Oh, I love the fella with no head.
67
00:02:42,200 --> 00:02:44,040
The fella with no head is
the best bit.
68
00:02:44,080 --> 00:02:45,960
I just wasn't expecting
the fella with no head.
69
00:02:46,000 --> 00:02:47,960
Now that I'm prepared for
the fella with no head.
70
00:02:48,000 --> 00:02:49,840
I don't want to hear about it,
Erin.
71
00:02:49,880 --> 00:02:52,520
I just want to get on that train,
sit down,
72
00:02:52,560 --> 00:02:55,400
have a cup of tea and relax.
73
00:02:55,440 --> 00:02:58,040
TANNOY: The 9:15 service from
Londonderry
74
00:02:58,080 --> 00:03:00,960
to Portrush will now be arriving
at platform two
75
00:03:01,000 --> 00:03:04,520
calling at Castlerock,
Coleraine and Portstewart.
76
00:03:04,560 --> 00:03:06,560
THEY CHEER
77
00:03:06,600 --> 00:03:08,600
HORN BLASTS
78
00:03:23,240 --> 00:03:26,640
TRAIN ANNOUNCER: Welcome aboard the
9:15 service from Londonderry
to Portrush,
79
00:03:26,680 --> 00:03:29,400
calling at Castlerock,
Coleraine and Portstewart.
80
00:03:29,440 --> 00:03:31,240
Thought I was going to drop dead
there at one point.
81
00:03:31,280 --> 00:03:33,960
If only. Christ but I'm sweating
like a hooker in mass.
82
00:03:34,000 --> 00:03:36,120
Let's grab these. We're going to sit
in a different carriage, Mammy.
83
00:03:36,160 --> 00:03:39,120
I don't know about that. Come on,
Mammy, we just want our own space.
84
00:03:39,160 --> 00:03:42,320
We're not weans. We don't need to be
constantly supervised.
85
00:03:42,360 --> 00:03:44,320
Where's Clare?
86
00:03:44,360 --> 00:03:45,880
Shit.
87
00:03:53,360 --> 00:03:55,240
CLARE SCREAMS
88
00:03:55,280 --> 00:03:56,280
TRAIN HORN BLARES
89
00:03:58,120 --> 00:04:01,960
The golden sands of Benone,
the crashing of the Atlantic,
90
00:04:02,000 --> 00:04:05,200
the wildlife, the mountains,
the birdsong.
91
00:04:05,240 --> 00:04:07,440
Well, what's any
of this without Clare?
92
00:04:07,480 --> 00:04:08,680
She hasn't snuffed it, Erin.
93
00:04:08,720 --> 00:04:10,120
Yeah, I'm sure she'll get
the next train.
94
00:04:10,160 --> 00:04:13,840
And make the journey all alone
because we abandoned her,
95
00:04:13,880 --> 00:04:15,240
because we left her behind,
96
00:04:15,280 --> 00:04:18,160
and I for one will never forgive
myself for that.
97
00:04:18,200 --> 00:04:20,520
Here comes the snack trolley.
Oh, happy days.
98
00:04:20,560 --> 00:04:23,240
Any drinks or snacks? I'll have a
Coke and a KitKat and...
99
00:04:23,280 --> 00:04:24,880
I'll have a KitKat as well.
Yeah, me too.
100
00:04:24,920 --> 00:04:26,400
No KitKats, I'm afraid.
101
00:04:26,440 --> 00:04:28,440
I can see the KitKats.
They're display KitKats.
102
00:04:28,480 --> 00:04:30,120
- Display KitKats?
- They're display only.
103
00:04:30,160 --> 00:04:31,480
I don't have any in the drawers.
104
00:04:31,520 --> 00:04:33,000
Well, can we buy
the display KitKats?
105
00:04:33,040 --> 00:04:34,240
No. Why the fuck not?
106
00:04:34,280 --> 00:04:37,240
Because if I don't have them on
display, how will people know
they're available?
107
00:04:37,280 --> 00:04:39,440
They're not available.
This is what I'm saying.
108
00:04:39,480 --> 00:04:44,200
I'm really fucking confused, lads.
OK, Fra, is it? This is ridiculous.
109
00:04:44,240 --> 00:04:46,440
I would like to speak
to your manager, please.
110
00:04:46,480 --> 00:04:47,800
I am the manager.
111
00:04:47,840 --> 00:04:49,120
You're the train manager?
112
00:04:49,160 --> 00:04:50,880
Yeah. You're the train manager
113
00:04:50,920 --> 00:04:53,320
and you also operate
the snack trolley. That's right.
114
00:04:53,360 --> 00:04:55,480
I suppose you drive
the train as well, do you, Fra?
115
00:04:55,520 --> 00:04:57,400
- Sometimes.
- I'm sorry?
116
00:04:57,440 --> 00:04:59,840
I own the train.
I own all the trains.
117
00:04:59,880 --> 00:05:01,960
Fuck me,
there's wiser eating grass.
118
00:05:02,000 --> 00:05:03,600
Jesus Christ!
119
00:05:06,640 --> 00:05:07,880
You're upsetting the passengers.
120
00:05:07,920 --> 00:05:09,200
You're upsetting the passengers.
121
00:05:09,240 --> 00:05:11,200
Stop being a dick
and give me a fucking KitKat.
122
00:05:11,240 --> 00:05:12,800
I'll give you a KitKat.
Thank you.
123
00:05:12,840 --> 00:05:15,040
For 50 quid.
Are you nuts?
124
00:05:15,080 --> 00:05:17,560
I think we've established he
might be.
125
00:05:17,600 --> 00:05:18,800
Let go. Come on, Michelle.
126
00:05:18,840 --> 00:05:20,000
Make me. I'm warning you.
127
00:05:20,040 --> 00:05:21,560
Bite my eye.
128
00:05:21,600 --> 00:05:24,120
Oh, my God,
it's Pippa from Home and Away.
129
00:05:24,160 --> 00:05:26,120
Original or recast? Sucker.
130
00:05:26,160 --> 00:05:27,440
Oh, you sneaky wee shite.
131
00:05:29,960 --> 00:05:31,920
I just don't want to get into it,
Conor love, OK?
132
00:05:31,960 --> 00:05:33,640
Excuse me. I need your help.
It's over.
133
00:05:33,680 --> 00:05:36,360
Why can't you just accept that,
babe? Excuse me, please.
134
00:05:36,400 --> 00:05:38,040
What is it, honey?
I missed the train.
135
00:05:38,080 --> 00:05:40,320
I was in the loo.
When I came out everyone was gone,
136
00:05:40,360 --> 00:05:43,320
and it was the wrong platform,
and I ran across,
137
00:05:43,360 --> 00:05:46,040
but it was too late
and I missed the train.
138
00:05:46,080 --> 00:05:47,840
OK, love, keep your knickers on.
139
00:05:47,880 --> 00:05:50,800
My knickers are no concern
of yours, thank you very much.
140
00:05:50,840 --> 00:05:55,440
20 minutes till the next one.
Take a seat, gorgeous.
141
00:05:55,480 --> 00:06:00,240
20 minutes? Yeah. Sorry,
I think I can wait 20 minutes.
142
00:06:00,280 --> 00:06:02,040
I think that's fine.
143
00:06:02,080 --> 00:06:04,920
MUSIC: Remember Me
by Blue Boy
144
00:06:10,960 --> 00:06:13,040
# Remember me
145
00:06:13,080 --> 00:06:16,840
# I'm the one who
had your baby's eyes... #
146
00:06:16,880 --> 00:06:19,160
OK. Do you wear glasses?
147
00:06:19,200 --> 00:06:22,200
Sure, glasses do nothing for me,
Mary. You know that.
148
00:06:22,240 --> 00:06:23,720
No, your character. What?
149
00:06:23,760 --> 00:06:25,720
On the board, remember?
Your character on the board.
150
00:06:25,760 --> 00:06:28,000
Are they wearing glasses?
151
00:06:28,040 --> 00:06:30,840
Aged six and up it said on the box.
152
00:06:30,880 --> 00:06:32,080
Are you a woman?
153
00:06:32,120 --> 00:06:34,440
What kind of a bloody question is
that? Smart hole.
154
00:06:34,480 --> 00:06:35,480
OK, you seem to have a bit of
155
00:06:35,520 --> 00:06:37,280
a problem grasping
the concept here, Joe.
156
00:06:37,320 --> 00:06:40,200
I'll tell you what I'll not have
trouble grasping. Your neck.
157
00:06:40,240 --> 00:06:43,800
Ach, isn't this lovely?
158
00:06:43,840 --> 00:06:47,280
Are we wearing something belonging
to her?
159
00:06:47,320 --> 00:06:50,720
Mary? Ha. I don't believe it.
160
00:06:50,760 --> 00:06:51,960
Ach, would you look who it is.
161
00:06:52,000 --> 00:06:55,320
My God. Sarah McCool.
162
00:06:55,360 --> 00:06:57,840
Have you got a picture in
the attic?
163
00:06:57,880 --> 00:06:59,320
Ach, away of that.
164
00:06:59,360 --> 00:07:01,480
She hasn't changed a bit,
sure she hasn't.
165
00:07:01,520 --> 00:07:03,360
Aye, well,
a lot of work goes into it.
166
00:07:03,400 --> 00:07:06,280
Ach, Joe, Gerry. You keeping well?
167
00:07:06,320 --> 00:07:08,800
Not so bad, not so bad.
No complaints, love.
168
00:07:08,840 --> 00:07:11,640
I can't believe I've run into you.
I'm not back a wet week.
169
00:07:11,680 --> 00:07:16,040
How are you finding it? Strange, you
know. But good, good strange.
170
00:07:16,080 --> 00:07:18,080
Look, I have to get off at
the next stop,
171
00:07:18,120 --> 00:07:20,320
and my stuff is all the way up
the other end, so...
172
00:07:20,360 --> 00:07:23,440
No bother at all.
So good to see you again.
173
00:07:23,480 --> 00:07:26,000
You too. Bye.
174
00:07:28,120 --> 00:07:30,120
Who was that? No idea.
175
00:07:30,160 --> 00:07:31,560
Don't know her from Adam.
176
00:07:31,600 --> 00:07:33,200
So why did you pretend
that you did?
177
00:07:33,240 --> 00:07:35,040
We could hardly break
the girl, Gerry.
178
00:07:35,080 --> 00:07:37,600
That's the trouble with you
Dubliners. You've no manners.
179
00:07:37,640 --> 00:07:41,160
I'm not from Dublin, Joe.
180
00:07:41,200 --> 00:07:43,280
Is he not? I'm from Navan.
181
00:07:43,320 --> 00:07:45,080
Sure that's worse.
How is that worse?
182
00:07:45,120 --> 00:07:46,600
I don't know, but it's not better.
183
00:07:46,640 --> 00:07:48,440
Look, it's grand. She's gone now.
184
00:07:48,480 --> 00:07:50,160
We got away with it.
We totally got away with it.
185
00:07:50,200 --> 00:07:53,680
ANNOUNCER: Ladies and gentlemen, our
apologies for any inconvenience...
Are we slowing down?
186
00:07:53,720 --> 00:07:56,440
There's a problem on the line.
We will be holding
the train here indefinitely.
187
00:07:56,480 --> 00:07:58,960
Hello, again. Ha-ha-ha.
188
00:07:59,000 --> 00:08:01,000
And you thought you'd seen
the back of me.
189
00:08:01,040 --> 00:08:02,160
Aye, we did, aye.
190
00:08:02,200 --> 00:08:03,680
Come on.
191
00:08:11,240 --> 00:08:15,400
How much longer are we going to be
stuck here? This is unbearable.
192
00:08:15,440 --> 00:08:17,520
It's been a minute,
Michelle. Like 60 seconds.
193
00:08:17,560 --> 00:08:19,400
I am so fucking bored.
194
00:08:19,440 --> 00:08:22,760
Oh. I know this really
cracker game.
195
00:08:22,800 --> 00:08:24,480
Yeah?
I think of a number
196
00:08:24,520 --> 00:08:26,320
and you all have
to guess what it is.
197
00:08:26,360 --> 00:08:28,480
Orla, we're not going to sit here
guessing numbers.
198
00:08:28,520 --> 00:08:30,600
7. No. 21. No. 88.
No.
199
00:08:30,640 --> 00:08:34,280
2,035. No.
200
00:08:34,320 --> 00:08:36,920
Or we could just, you know, talk.
Talk?
201
00:08:36,960 --> 00:08:40,360
Yes, Michelle, talk,
like normal people, who are normal.
202
00:08:40,400 --> 00:08:42,800
We ran out of things
to talk about in 1993, Erin.
203
00:08:42,840 --> 00:08:45,840
No, we didn't.
There's lots we could talk about.
204
00:08:45,880 --> 00:08:50,160
Like? Like our hopes, our ambitions,
our dreams.
205
00:08:50,200 --> 00:08:53,800
OK, so last night there was this
lion chasing me,
206
00:08:53,840 --> 00:08:56,920
but it had wee, tiny legs.
207
00:08:56,960 --> 00:08:58,280
It was a full size lion
208
00:08:58,320 --> 00:09:01,120
but it had the legs of
a sausage dog.
209
00:09:01,160 --> 00:09:02,840
Not those type of dreams, Orla.
210
00:09:02,880 --> 00:09:05,120
I mean our dreams for the future.
211
00:09:05,160 --> 00:09:07,240
What lives do we want to live?
212
00:09:07,280 --> 00:09:10,000
What legacy do we hope to leave?
213
00:09:12,320 --> 00:09:15,240
Yes, James, go on.
214
00:09:15,280 --> 00:09:18,800
Oh, sorry. I thought I was going to
sneeze, but I lost it.
215
00:09:18,840 --> 00:09:22,320
Fine. We'll just sit here in silence
then. Is that what you want?
216
00:09:22,360 --> 00:09:24,840
It's not a bad idea, actually.
Suits me.
217
00:09:24,880 --> 00:09:27,320
I'll just think in my own head.
218
00:09:27,360 --> 00:09:30,240
Clare would have talked. Sh.
219
00:09:40,040 --> 00:09:43,840
CLARE CLEARS HER THROAT
Here we go.
220
00:09:43,880 --> 00:09:47,600
Ah. Sister Michael. Hi.
221
00:09:47,640 --> 00:09:50,320
Clare.
I wasn't sure you saw me.
222
00:09:50,360 --> 00:09:52,440
No, no, I did.
223
00:09:52,480 --> 00:09:54,440
Right.
224
00:09:58,200 --> 00:10:00,440
Heading to Portrush?
225
00:10:00,480 --> 00:10:02,560
Yep.
226
00:10:02,600 --> 00:10:04,680
Anything nice planned?
227
00:10:04,720 --> 00:10:06,400
No.
228
00:10:06,440 --> 00:10:08,320
OK.
229
00:10:08,360 --> 00:10:12,160
I just don't see the point.
Can't we just move on?
230
00:10:12,200 --> 00:10:18,280
All right, Conor. The truth is,
you never satisfied me sexually.
231
00:10:18,320 --> 00:10:20,160
Oh, please no.
232
00:10:20,200 --> 00:10:22,000
Oh, Christ, it's been...
233
00:10:22,040 --> 00:10:23,880
Years? Has it been years?
234
00:10:23,920 --> 00:10:27,800
Ha. At least ten.
Oh, God, imagine.
235
00:10:27,840 --> 00:10:30,040
What age must your wee girls
be now? 14.
236
00:10:30,080 --> 00:10:33,480
They're 17.
God, time flies, doesn't it?
237
00:10:33,520 --> 00:10:36,320
And what about you?
How's your...do you...have you?
238
00:10:36,360 --> 00:10:40,520
Playing with fire there, Mary.
Are you still, you know,
are you not, you know?
239
00:10:40,560 --> 00:10:43,520
You don't have to beat around
the bush, Mary.
240
00:10:43,560 --> 00:10:45,280
Well, I do a bit.
241
00:10:45,320 --> 00:10:46,960
I'm still single. Ah.
242
00:10:47,000 --> 00:10:48,800
Sure, who'd take me on?
243
00:10:48,840 --> 00:10:51,120
Don't say that.
You're a fine-looking woman.
244
00:10:51,160 --> 00:10:53,040
Stop it. I'm serious.
245
00:10:53,080 --> 00:10:56,320
You could slice your hand on
those cheekbones.
246
00:10:56,360 --> 00:10:57,800
Well, I mean,
247
00:10:57,840 --> 00:11:01,640
there was someone once,
but, he's married now, so.
248
00:11:01,680 --> 00:11:02,800
But not to you.
249
00:11:02,840 --> 00:11:06,200
Sure it's only what I deserve,
after what happened.
250
00:11:06,240 --> 00:11:08,280
Isn't that what everybody thinks?
251
00:11:08,320 --> 00:11:11,760
Is it? But sure, who hasn't made
a mistake in their time, girls?
252
00:11:11,800 --> 00:11:13,120
Don't talk to me.
253
00:11:13,160 --> 00:11:16,480
I had a perm in '85 that made me
look like Leo Sayer.
254
00:11:16,520 --> 00:11:20,680
Dark days. Very dark days.
255
00:11:20,720 --> 00:11:22,920
Anyway, enough of my woes.
256
00:11:24,440 --> 00:11:27,160
We've not heard much out of you,
Joe. How's life been treating you?
257
00:11:27,200 --> 00:11:31,160
Ah, not great, I'm afraid.
I caught dementia.
258
00:11:31,200 --> 00:11:34,040
Dementia?
Riddled with it, so I am.
259
00:11:34,080 --> 00:11:36,400
Ach, that's awful.
I can't remember a bloody thing.
260
00:11:36,440 --> 00:11:39,680
I am so sorry to hear that, Joe.
261
00:11:39,720 --> 00:11:42,160
Thanks, love.
262
00:11:42,200 --> 00:11:43,400
Fair play, Joe.
263
00:11:46,880 --> 00:11:50,000
DEEP BREATHING
I'm sorry,
can nobody else hear that?
264
00:11:50,040 --> 00:11:51,480
What? The racket you're making.
265
00:11:51,520 --> 00:11:52,520
I'm just breathing.
266
00:11:52,560 --> 00:11:56,080
It sounds a bit like when you let
the air out of a bouncy castle.
267
00:11:56,120 --> 00:11:59,280
It's average. It's normal,
average breathing.
268
00:11:59,320 --> 00:12:00,640
It's English breathing, James.
269
00:12:00,680 --> 00:12:02,640
It is a bit oppressive, actually.
270
00:12:02,680 --> 00:12:05,600
Fine. I'll just sit on my own,
then, shall I?
271
00:12:05,640 --> 00:12:06,760
Yeah, thank you.
272
00:12:11,000 --> 00:12:14,640
What is taking you so long,
dick splash?
273
00:12:14,680 --> 00:12:16,400
This isn't my bag.
274
00:12:16,440 --> 00:12:18,040
Are you sure?
Unless I forgot
275
00:12:18,080 --> 00:12:21,480
the fact that I packed
a shit-ton of cash and a gun.
276
00:12:21,520 --> 00:12:23,880
What?
277
00:12:23,920 --> 00:12:26,320
And a pair of pliers,
some hairspray,
278
00:12:26,360 --> 00:12:29,920
a toothbrush,
and one of those wee face hats.
279
00:12:29,960 --> 00:12:31,640
A face hat?
280
00:12:31,680 --> 00:12:35,440
Jesus Christ, Orla.
281
00:12:35,480 --> 00:12:37,320
And a bag of Tayto.
What flavour?
282
00:12:37,360 --> 00:12:40,120
Salt and vinegar.
Can we focus here, please?
283
00:12:40,160 --> 00:12:41,640
There's at least a grand in here.
284
00:12:41,680 --> 00:12:44,040
And a gun. An actual gun.
285
00:12:44,080 --> 00:12:46,000
That guy.
286
00:12:47,960 --> 00:12:51,840
When he was moving he must have
taken my bag by mistake.
287
00:12:51,880 --> 00:12:53,280
Just put it back.
288
00:12:53,320 --> 00:12:56,200
What? The bag. Just put it back.
289
00:12:56,240 --> 00:12:58,400
And what about my bag?
290
00:12:58,440 --> 00:13:01,400
It has my camera in it,
my swimming trunks.
291
00:13:01,440 --> 00:13:04,560
Just swim in your cacks.
I don't want to swim in my cacks.
292
00:13:04,600 --> 00:13:06,080
This is more important than
your cacks.
293
00:13:06,120 --> 00:13:09,200
He's dangerous.
Just put it back exactly as it was.
294
00:13:09,240 --> 00:13:12,440
He can't know that we have touched
anything.
295
00:13:16,440 --> 00:13:17,720
Fantastic.
296
00:13:24,000 --> 00:13:25,720
Right, so that's five cups of tea,
297
00:13:25,760 --> 00:13:27,840
a juice for the wean.
I'll take a KitKat.
298
00:13:27,880 --> 00:13:29,960
No KitKats, I'm afraid.
Yeah, there's some there.
299
00:13:30,000 --> 00:13:32,320
Those are display KitKats.
Display KitKats?
300
00:13:32,360 --> 00:13:35,160
They're for display purposes only,
bird brain.
301
00:13:35,200 --> 00:13:37,840
I'll get these. Indeed you will not.
Put your purse away.
302
00:13:37,880 --> 00:13:39,880
I've got it. Here, son.
303
00:13:39,920 --> 00:13:41,920
Ah. Here, hold on, son.
304
00:13:41,960 --> 00:13:45,800
You've done yourself.
That's 50p too much.
305
00:13:45,840 --> 00:13:49,320
God, you'd never know
he had dementia.
306
00:13:49,360 --> 00:13:51,440
Aye, it comes and goes.
307
00:13:51,480 --> 00:13:54,640
Thanks.
And thanks for being so nice.
308
00:13:54,680 --> 00:13:56,920
Not everyone has been glad
to see me back.
309
00:13:56,960 --> 00:13:59,280
People can be so judgmental.
310
00:13:59,320 --> 00:14:01,000
I bet you were shocked at
the time, too.
311
00:14:01,040 --> 00:14:04,520
You must have felt like you didn't
even know me.
312
00:14:04,560 --> 00:14:06,880
Who really knows anybody?
313
00:14:06,920 --> 00:14:11,080
You can ask me about it,
girls. I know you must be dying to.
314
00:14:11,120 --> 00:14:15,880
Ach, sure, is there any point in
raking it all up again?
315
00:14:15,920 --> 00:14:18,280
Ask me.
316
00:14:21,960 --> 00:14:23,520
I have irritable bowel syndrome.
317
00:14:23,560 --> 00:14:26,160
I'm sorry? Don't be.
It's just one of those things.
318
00:14:26,200 --> 00:14:27,720
Aye, mine's playing up,
now you mention it.
319
00:14:27,760 --> 00:14:29,840
You have trouble with your bowels
as well, do you, Sarah?
320
00:14:29,880 --> 00:14:33,040
I'm crippled with them,
Gerry, as well you know.
321
00:14:36,400 --> 00:14:37,960
Do you fancy a game of Guess Who?
322
00:14:39,760 --> 00:14:43,800
Maybe it wasn't a robbery.
Maybe he's a hit man
323
00:14:43,840 --> 00:14:46,040
and that stash is his blood money.
324
00:14:46,080 --> 00:14:48,440
We don't have hit men.
We have Provos.
325
00:14:48,480 --> 00:14:51,280
We had Provos,
but ever since the ceasefire,
326
00:14:51,320 --> 00:14:53,120
paramilitary work has been drying up
a bit,
327
00:14:53,160 --> 00:14:55,640
so maybe people are branching out.
328
00:14:55,680 --> 00:14:57,240
You're welcome. Huh.
329
00:14:57,280 --> 00:14:58,480
The display KitKats?
330
00:14:58,520 --> 00:15:00,960
How did you get
the display KitKats?
331
00:15:01,000 --> 00:15:03,560
I made him an offer
he couldn't refuse.
332
00:15:03,600 --> 00:15:07,560
What sort of offer? Let's just say
everybody has their price.
333
00:15:07,600 --> 00:15:11,840
Orla. You know the money that was
in that bag with the gun?
334
00:15:11,880 --> 00:15:13,040
Go on.
335
00:15:13,080 --> 00:15:16,200
Please tell me you did not swap that
money for those KitKats. No.
336
00:15:16,240 --> 00:15:17,680
Oh, thank God.
337
00:15:17,720 --> 00:15:19,520
I mean, not all of it.
338
00:15:19,560 --> 00:15:21,520
How much of it?
339
00:15:21,560 --> 00:15:24,840
500 or something.
Fucking hell, Orla.
340
00:15:24,880 --> 00:15:27,120
Shit. Look. He's going
to open the bag.
341
00:15:27,160 --> 00:15:30,600
He's going to open the bag. He's
going to realise it's the wrong one
342
00:15:30,640 --> 00:15:34,040
and he's going to come over here,
he's going to find his bag,
343
00:15:34,080 --> 00:15:35,440
he's going to look inside,
344
00:15:35,480 --> 00:15:39,200
he's going to see that
there's 500 quid missing.
345
00:15:39,240 --> 00:15:41,440
Then he's going to kill all of us
346
00:15:41,480 --> 00:15:44,240
with his actual gun that he
actually has.
347
00:15:44,280 --> 00:15:45,520
We need to get out of here.
348
00:15:49,520 --> 00:15:50,960
Christ, this is desperate.
349
00:15:51,000 --> 00:15:53,760
I know, Mary. We're in too deep.
There's only one thing for it.
350
00:15:53,800 --> 00:15:56,480
OK, let's do it.
What are you playing at?
351
00:15:56,520 --> 00:15:58,600
I thought we were making a run
for it. We can't do that.
352
00:15:58,640 --> 00:16:01,280
Why not? We're in the back arse of
nowhere, for one thing,
353
00:16:01,320 --> 00:16:03,720
and we can't just abandon Gerry,
Daddy and our own weans.
354
00:16:03,760 --> 00:16:05,240
Are you sure?
355
00:16:05,280 --> 00:16:07,360
No. We can't desert our family
356
00:16:07,400 --> 00:16:10,240
because we got ourselves into
a slightly embarrassing situation.
357
00:16:10,280 --> 00:16:12,960
Slightly embarrassing?
I'm turning inside out here.
358
00:16:13,000 --> 00:16:15,080
We have to tell the truth.
359
00:16:15,120 --> 00:16:20,040
We have to tell her we can't
remember who she is. Oh.
360
00:16:20,080 --> 00:16:23,400
Jesus, just hand me a spade
and let me bury myself.
361
00:16:26,440 --> 00:16:29,480
We'd like a word. I'm busy.
362
00:16:29,520 --> 00:16:31,080
We want it back. What?
363
00:16:31,120 --> 00:16:32,240
You know what, dickhead.
364
00:16:32,280 --> 00:16:34,200
The money. The £500.
365
00:16:34,240 --> 00:16:36,040
I have no idea what you're
talking about.
366
00:16:36,080 --> 00:16:37,560
We can return the KitKats.
367
00:16:37,600 --> 00:16:39,640
- No, we can't.
- Honestly, Orla.
368
00:16:39,680 --> 00:16:41,800
Look, my cousin isn't all there,
you know, brain-wise.
369
00:16:41,840 --> 00:16:44,400
Oh, really? Because she told me
she got better grades
370
00:16:44,440 --> 00:16:45,880
in her GCSEs than you did. So.
371
00:16:45,920 --> 00:16:49,200
She didn't get better grades. You
didn't get better grades than me,
we got the same grades.
372
00:16:49,240 --> 00:16:50,800
I tried to have hers disputed
because...
373
00:16:50,840 --> 00:16:52,080
Let's keep on track here, Erin.
374
00:16:52,120 --> 00:16:54,640
OK. The point is,
you took advantage of her,
375
00:16:54,680 --> 00:16:56,280
so just give us back the
money, or...
376
00:16:56,320 --> 00:16:58,680
Or what? What are you going to do?
377
00:16:58,720 --> 00:17:02,200
OK, Fra.
We never wanted it to come to this.
378
00:17:03,440 --> 00:17:07,360
But you have messed with
the wrong crowd this time, punk.
379
00:17:07,400 --> 00:17:10,320
Orla, no. For the love of God, no.
380
00:17:10,360 --> 00:17:13,440
Do not pull out that...
Is that a toothbrush?
381
00:17:13,480 --> 00:17:15,520
It's not just any toothbrush.
382
00:17:15,560 --> 00:17:17,960
WHIRRING
383
00:17:18,000 --> 00:17:21,000
I see. You think it's wise
threatening someone in my position?
384
00:17:21,040 --> 00:17:22,360
You're a trolley dolly, Fra, so.
385
00:17:22,400 --> 00:17:23,880
Yeah, and it's a toothbrush.
386
00:17:23,920 --> 00:17:28,080
You think I'm not armed.
Well, think again.
387
00:17:28,120 --> 00:17:30,600
This has gone in
a direction I wasn't expecting.
388
00:17:30,640 --> 00:17:32,520
Orla, drop the toothbrush.
Fra, lose the banana.
389
00:17:32,560 --> 00:17:34,560
This is serious.
Someone could get hurt.
390
00:17:34,600 --> 00:17:36,520
Really? I'll take my chances.
391
00:17:36,560 --> 00:17:38,640
Oh, I'm not backing down now.
I've come too far.
392
00:17:38,680 --> 00:17:42,160
OK, so I'm thinking we could be here
a while.
393
00:17:42,200 --> 00:17:44,800
Oh, my God!
It's Bouncer from Neighbours.
394
00:17:44,840 --> 00:17:46,480
I thought he was dead.
395
00:17:47,720 --> 00:17:49,240
Leg it.
396
00:17:49,280 --> 00:17:50,320
Damn it.
397
00:17:55,320 --> 00:17:57,040
Do you have freckles?
398
00:17:57,080 --> 00:18:00,000
Yes.
399
00:18:00,040 --> 00:18:01,280
Think I'm getting warmer.
400
00:18:01,320 --> 00:18:03,920
Well, you're not getting any bloody
wiser, that's for certain.
401
00:18:03,960 --> 00:18:06,520
All right, Mary?
Do you want to play Guess Who?
402
00:18:06,560 --> 00:18:08,120
Well, it's funny you should
say that.
403
00:18:08,160 --> 00:18:10,680
It's absolutely brilliant.
Come here.
404
00:18:10,720 --> 00:18:13,800
Look at this.
Who does that look like?
405
00:18:13,840 --> 00:18:16,160
Isn't he the absolute spit
of our Thomas?
406
00:18:16,200 --> 00:18:17,880
I mean,
if you can imagine the 'tache.
407
00:18:17,920 --> 00:18:19,600
He looks like Thomas O'Shea.
408
00:18:19,640 --> 00:18:22,440
Yeah. Thomas O'Shea.
409
00:18:22,480 --> 00:18:24,200
Lived three doors down from us on
the Lecky Road.
410
00:18:24,240 --> 00:18:28,480
He had a sister, Aideen O'Shea.
This is Aideen O'Shea.
411
00:18:28,520 --> 00:18:31,840
Aideen. That's it.
Aideen O'Shea was massive.
412
00:18:31,880 --> 00:18:35,600
No, Sarah. We're talking huge.
Gorgeous looking girl,
413
00:18:35,640 --> 00:18:37,600
but she'd have made four of
you, love.
414
00:18:37,640 --> 00:18:41,040
And she was mad. Sure,
didn't she get banged up?
415
00:18:41,080 --> 00:18:43,200
Sarah, really? She's in prison.
416
00:18:43,240 --> 00:18:44,520
She's not any more.
417
00:18:45,840 --> 00:18:50,680
But a ten-year stretch does wonders
for the old figure.
418
00:18:50,720 --> 00:18:54,400
Ach, Aideen, what about you?
419
00:18:57,280 --> 00:18:59,000
OK, he's still there.
420
00:18:59,040 --> 00:19:00,760
Doesn't seem to have
noticed anything.
421
00:19:00,800 --> 00:19:03,280
So now we just need to decide
who's going to actually,
422
00:19:03,320 --> 00:19:07,360
you know, make the switch.
IN UNISON: You are.
423
00:19:07,400 --> 00:19:09,800
I don't want to do it.
I think Orla should do it.
424
00:19:09,840 --> 00:19:11,320
What a fucking gentleman.
425
00:19:11,360 --> 00:19:13,200
Well, she's got those massive
shoes on.
426
00:19:13,240 --> 00:19:17,040
It'll be easier for her to reach
the rack.
427
00:19:17,080 --> 00:19:20,720
MUSIC: I Wanna Be The Only One
by Eternal
428
00:19:27,040 --> 00:19:30,120
# Yes, I see you crying
429
00:19:30,160 --> 00:19:33,840
# Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
And I feel your...
430
00:19:35,920 --> 00:19:37,920
What the hell are you doing
with that?
431
00:19:37,960 --> 00:19:40,800
It must have fell when
the train started.
432
00:19:40,840 --> 00:19:43,080
Right.
433
00:19:43,120 --> 00:19:45,560
Nice boots.
434
00:19:45,600 --> 00:19:46,760
Thank you very much.
435
00:19:46,800 --> 00:19:50,480
Now get the fuck off me.
Absolutely.
436
00:19:50,520 --> 00:19:53,920
# I wanna be the only one to hold you
437
00:19:53,960 --> 00:19:55,560
# Protect you from the rain... #
438
00:19:56,960 --> 00:19:58,400
And I'd just generally like
439
00:19:58,440 --> 00:20:01,080
to be a bit more adventurous,
you know?
440
00:20:01,120 --> 00:20:03,360
It's just all
missionary, missionary,
441
00:20:03,400 --> 00:20:05,800
missionary.
You know my friend Roisin?
442
00:20:05,840 --> 00:20:08,480
She told me her and Marty Collins
get up to all sorts.
443
00:20:08,520 --> 00:20:11,240
She ties him up and everything.
I'd love to do that.
444
00:20:11,280 --> 00:20:13,400
No, Conor, not tie you up.
445
00:20:13,440 --> 00:20:18,120
No, I mean I'd love to tie Marty
Collins up. Oh, he's so hot.
446
00:20:18,160 --> 00:20:20,400
ANNOUNCER: The next train
from platform two
447
00:20:20,440 --> 00:20:23,880
will be the 9:40 from Londonderry
to Portrush, calling at...
448
00:20:23,920 --> 00:20:27,640
I think I'll head out to
the platform.
Good idea. Excuse me, madam.
449
00:20:27,680 --> 00:20:30,960
Yeah. I must tell you I am shocked.
450
00:20:31,000 --> 00:20:34,080
I know what you're going to say to
me - "It's none of my business,"
451
00:20:34,120 --> 00:20:39,960
but what cowboy is responsible
for this soundproofing?
452
00:20:40,000 --> 00:20:42,240
It's atrocious.
453
00:20:42,280 --> 00:20:45,480
You need to speak to
the lad who did our confessionals.
454
00:20:45,520 --> 00:20:46,600
They're great.
455
00:20:46,640 --> 00:20:48,480
There are fellas telling
Father Peter
456
00:20:48,520 --> 00:20:51,560
where they stashed the murder weapon
and the congregation
457
00:20:51,600 --> 00:20:54,440
is none the wiser.
I'll drop his number in to you.
458
00:20:58,640 --> 00:21:00,760
I can't believe it.
459
00:21:00,800 --> 00:21:03,920
I lose a bit of weight
and you don't recognise me?
460
00:21:03,960 --> 00:21:06,520
Yeah, were you following any sort
of programme in there, or?
461
00:21:06,560 --> 00:21:08,400
Oh, my God. We grew up
together, girls.
462
00:21:08,440 --> 00:21:11,960
I have the same eyes.
I have the same smile.
463
00:21:12,000 --> 00:21:13,160
Come on now,
464
00:21:13,200 --> 00:21:15,440
you must have cut out the carbs.
Did you?
465
00:21:15,480 --> 00:21:19,320
Any real change that happened,
happened in here.
466
00:21:19,360 --> 00:21:23,120
Going to prison,
it was...it was tough,
467
00:21:23,160 --> 00:21:26,680
but it allowed me to work on myself.
468
00:21:26,720 --> 00:21:30,720
And now that I'm out,
I'm going to do some good.
469
00:21:30,760 --> 00:21:34,880
I'm going to make a difference.
470
00:21:34,920 --> 00:21:37,160
Weights, was it?
Excuse me.
471
00:21:37,200 --> 00:21:39,920
Holy shit.
Thought I'd better come find you.
472
00:21:39,960 --> 00:21:41,840
I'm getting off at this next
stop here.
473
00:21:41,880 --> 00:21:44,000
Jesus, I left this fella
to mind my bag.
474
00:21:44,040 --> 00:21:45,880
You must have thought I wasn't
coming back.
475
00:21:45,920 --> 00:21:47,280
Don't worry, sweetheart,
there you go.
476
00:21:47,320 --> 00:21:49,120
Thank you.
477
00:21:49,160 --> 00:21:51,080
Castlerock. Please depart safely.
478
00:21:51,120 --> 00:21:54,520
Well, I'd better go too, so...
479
00:21:54,560 --> 00:21:58,200
I really hope it works out for you,
Aideen. I really mean that.
480
00:21:58,240 --> 00:22:04,960
Thanks, Mary. Right.
Now, where is my ticket?
481
00:22:10,720 --> 00:22:13,000
Bastard. What's wrong?
482
00:22:13,040 --> 00:22:15,080
I had a pack of Tayto in here.
483
00:22:15,120 --> 00:22:17,480
That fella must have took them.
484
00:22:17,520 --> 00:22:19,160
Animal.
485
00:22:19,200 --> 00:22:20,600
I'll kill him.
486
00:22:23,760 --> 00:22:25,960
Oi, you. Bucko.
487
00:22:26,000 --> 00:22:29,840
What have you done with my Taytos?
What's wrong with you,
you mad bastard?
488
00:22:29,880 --> 00:22:32,440
Take those fucking headphones off.
489
00:22:32,480 --> 00:22:33,800
Who is she, Mammy?
490
00:22:33,840 --> 00:22:37,360
Just a girl we knew once.
Had a tough life.
491
00:22:37,400 --> 00:22:38,960
Made a few mistakes,
492
00:22:39,000 --> 00:22:41,640
but she has totally turned things
around now.
493
00:22:41,680 --> 00:22:44,200
Really? Where are my crisps?
494
00:22:44,240 --> 00:22:48,480
She is not happy about him nicking
the cheese and onion, is she?
495
00:22:48,520 --> 00:22:50,680
They were salt and vinegar.
496
00:22:50,720 --> 00:22:53,080
What? That fuckwit. Him.
497
00:22:53,120 --> 00:22:54,200
That fucker there.
498
00:22:54,240 --> 00:22:57,120
Is he pointing at you, son?
Oh, God.
499
00:22:57,160 --> 00:22:58,760
It was him. It was him.
500
00:22:59,960 --> 00:23:04,560
Where's my crisps?
You owe me a packet of crisps.
501
00:23:07,120 --> 00:23:10,360
Where's my Tayto?
Where's my salt and vinegar crisps?
502
00:23:10,400 --> 00:23:12,720
You stole my crisps.
503
00:23:14,880 --> 00:23:17,680
MUSIC: Breathe
by The Prodigy
504
00:23:26,840 --> 00:23:28,320
MACHINE WHIRS
505
00:23:30,800 --> 00:23:34,240
SCREAMING
506
00:23:34,280 --> 00:23:36,000
Yeah, this is going to be
a great shot, I think.
507
00:23:36,040 --> 00:23:38,240
Just make sure you get
the bit where it turns upside down.
508
00:23:38,280 --> 00:23:39,880
Turns upside down?
509
00:23:39,920 --> 00:23:41,720
I just hope to Christ my hat
stays on.
510
00:23:41,760 --> 00:23:45,120
MUSIC: Place Your Hands
By Reef
511
00:23:48,400 --> 00:23:49,640
Hold on tight, everyone.
512
00:23:52,960 --> 00:23:57,120
# Run your fingers
513
00:23:57,160 --> 00:24:00,800
# Through my soul... #
514
00:24:06,080 --> 00:24:07,440
Here we go, folks.
515
00:24:14,960 --> 00:24:16,760
TANNOY: Ladies and gentlemen,
516
00:24:16,800 --> 00:24:18,960
we appear to have
a technical problem.
517
00:24:19,000 --> 00:24:21,760
We're going to have
to stall here for the time being.
518
00:24:21,800 --> 00:24:23,320
God almighty.
519
00:24:26,240 --> 00:24:29,320
MUSIC: Mmmbop
By Hanson
520
00:24:41,320 --> 00:24:43,440
# You have
so many relationships in this life
521
00:24:43,480 --> 00:24:45,680
# Only one or two will last
522
00:24:46,640 --> 00:24:48,560
# You go through all the pain and
strife
523
00:24:48,600 --> 00:24:51,240
# Then you turn your back and they're
gone so fast... #
524
00:24:52,680 --> 00:24:55,000
Subtitles by Red Bee Media