[theme song plays]
♪ One, two One, two, three, four ♪
♪ La, la, la, la ♪
♪ Na, na, na, na Na, na, na, na ♪
♪ La, la, la, la, la ♪
[chicken clucks]
[motorcycle engine revving]
[grunts]
Hmm, where are my grandkids at?
Geez, that ride really put the crick
in Cricket.
Sorry, just wanted to get here fast
and see what your grandma's big surprise was.
[roars]
[all scream]
Wha--? It's just your Gramma.
[all sigh]
Hope y'all are feelin' sporty!
Gramma got hockey tickets for the whooole family!
Business at the café is boomin',
so me and Gloria each treated ourselves to a little bonus.
Hey, what do you think Gloria did with her money?
What do you mean, "The wrong one"?!
Game starts in an hour.
If we're lucky, we'll see
a fight break out on the ice!
Thanks, Gramma.
Although I do not condone fighting.
Well, I do.
One ticket, please.
Huh? Hey, where's mine?
I didn't get you one, old man.
But you said you were takin' the whole family.
I did.
But you are not family.
Then what am I?
You're my ex-daughter-in-law's
estranged father.
That's too many steps removed!
Now, if you'll excuse us...
we got a hockey game to get to!
[all cheer]
[tires screeching]
[groans]
[Chet Handsomeman over P.A.] Welcome to Big City's
own Splish Arena!
[crowd chanting] Ic-i-cles! Ic-i-cles!
I'm Chet Handsomeman,
and boy, do we have a great game in store for you!
Give it up for the home team...
the Big City Icicles!
[players whooping]
And let's give a steaming hot welcome
to the Mid City Meteors!
[crowd jeering]
[sighs] My kinda people.
This place is amazing!
When's the game gonna start?
Soon as the Zamboni preps the ice.
Zamb-o-what-now?
[mysterious music playing]
Whoa!
Ice tractor!
Now, that is a job I'd like to have when I'm grown up.
Can we go check it out, Mom?
I've never seen you interested in a career before.
Let's get you a closer look.
I spent $90 on his ticket
and kid wants to look at a Zamboni.
Well, I'm enjoying the game!
- [corndog vendor] Corn dogs! - [Bill] Hmm?
Come get your corn dogs!
Ooh, but a little snack would make it better!
Excuse me! One corndog, please!
Corn dogs, pipin' hot!
Over here! I'll take one!
- Only $9.99! - [Bill] Huh?
That's strange.
I think that guy's ignoring me!
If you want a corndog so bad, just go to concessions.
No! This is a matter of principle.
I want a corndog...
from that guy.
- [grunts] - Bill!
You're gonna miss the face-off!
Eh, who needs him?
So, kid, you like hockey?
- Well... - [whistle blows]
- [both grunting] - [crowd cheering]
...the barbarism is more obscene than I expected.
- [player screams] - [all three] Fight! Fight!
- Fight! Fight! - [Gramma] Fight! Fight!
Fight! Fight! Fight!
It seems to have corrupted the entire arena...
As a skilled peace mediator,
I must quell this senseless violence.
[Chet over P.A.] And it looks like Mikey's making a breakaway!
Yes! Stay with it!
- [whistle blows] - Huh?
- [Chet] What a goal! - Huh?!
Hey, buddy, you mind?
You're blockin' my view!
Oh, am I?
Nick?! How'd you get in without a ticket?
I used my crafty street smarts.
Then use your crafty street smarts to get outta here!
You're ruinin' the game!
Thanks to your big ugly novelty hat,
I can't see a thing!
Don't mind me, I'm just a random hockey fan...
who's not in your family.
[exhales] Let's get down and dirty, Icicles!
[frustrated growl]
[gasps] There it is!
The Zamboni...
- Wowee. - [Zamboni Tony] Hold it!
Zelda is on break right now
and doesn't have time for fans.
But we just want to get a closer look at it.
"It"?! Nobody calls Zelda "it!"
You'll have to look for her from your seats in the stands!
[Zamboni Tony, comforting] Shh. It's okay, Zelda.
Zamboni Tony's here now.
Oh, well. Let's head back to our--
- Oh... - [groans]
There go all my Zamboni dreams.
What a zam shame...
You know what? No!
You're not only gonna see the Zamboni,
I'm gonna make sure you get to sit on it too!
[Cricket gasps]
Whoa! Ugh.
[maniacal laugh]
Yeah, go team!
I cannot wait to get back out there
to just rip somebody's head off, eh!
- [Tilly] Hello. - [players gasp]
My name is Tilly Green
and I couldn't help but notice
your unusually high levels of bloodlust.
Now, just wait a second.
What's wrong with bloodlust, eh?
Oh, nothing.
But let me ask you a question, Mr. LeBoeuf.
What's the first thing you do after a game starts?
Uh, fight?
Hmm, that's one option.
But what if I told you there was another way?
Instead of engaging in violence,
you could talk about your feelings!
That is the real power play!
[all] Ohhh...
But I like punching.
But do you like getting punched?
[scoffs] I don't!
Okay, we're in!
Then let's get started!
Who wants to try some role-playing exercises?
[players] Ooh! Ooh! Me! Me!
- Corn dogs! - There you are!
- I've been chasing you down-- - I got corn dogs over here!
- Hey! Excuse me! - Get 'em while they're hot!
Could I get, uh... Huh.
What is that guy's problem?
Thanks!
One corndog, please!
Ah!
Oh, come on, I'm right here!
You have to see me!
Please, I'm begging ya!
[suspenseful music playing]
Yes.
Yes!
[anticipating moans]
No!
- [vendor gulps] - What--?!
Oh, no you didn't!
Get back here!
[groans] Where are they?
So, how's it going watching the game with just your family?
It would be a heck of a lot better
if you weren't here!
Come on, you cowards!
Ya done lost all your fight!
Hi there! How 'bout a hug?
[impact grunting]
[animalistic yell]
Hey, friend, you seem angry.
Care to talk about it? Whoa!
[Gramma] That puck is mine!
- Come to Slick-Nick! - Outta my way, you brute!
[Nick] Hey, watch it!
- Like that! - [child happily coos]
This is the best day of my life!
I woulda had it if you hadn't gotten in my way!
You just keep making things worse!
I'm gonna go find my family
so I can enjoy this game like I planned!
[Nick scoffs]
[window squeaking]
Okay, follow my lead.
[loudly] What's that you say?
[Nancy] There's a Zamboni
- talent scout out here? - Hmm?
Yep! I'm just a regular 'ol talent scout,
looking for the perfect Zamboni
to play the lead in Zamboni: The Musical:
On Ice!
Oh, Zelda! Are you hearing this?
This could be our big break!
I'm gonna share your magnificence
with the world! Mwah!
[musical] Your star is here!
Too easy.
[snickers]
[Cricket] Wow.
So many buttons!
I sure wish I could push 'em.
What's the hurt in hearing
the engine purr a little bit?
[engine starts]
Hey! What are you doing?!
I'm livin' my Zamboni dreams!
Whoopsie.
[both screaming]
Zelda!
[mysterious music playing]
Please! Why won't you
just give me a corndog?!
[vendor snickers]
Every game I choose
one person to ignore,
one dingus who will never get a corndog,
no matter how badly they want it!
And today, that dingus...
is you!
Buh-- Why me?!
Just... cuz.
Wait! Don't!
[tense music playing]
[gasps]
[maniacal laughter]
Hey!
Oof!
Get back here!
Cricket! Tilly!
I'll even take Nancy?
Ah, forget it.
- [Nick] Found ya! - Oh, for blort's sake.
Would ya leave me alone?
I'm trying to find my family!
[Cricket and Nancy screaming]
Well, there goes my family.
My family needs my help!
Uh, sorry about the interruption, folks.
Seems like they decided to clean the ice!
- [Chet over P.A.] During the game? - [players screaming]
- [Cricket] Oh, my God! - [Nancy] Whoa!
[mocking] Hi! You'll never catch me!
- [both grunt] - What's the plan?
You stay put!
And I'm gonna help my family!
Sorry your little outing
didn't go as planned!
- But if you just-- - [player exclaims]
- Whoa! - [Gramma grunts]
Oh, you wanna go?
Well, if you'd watched where you--
- [Gramma battle yell] - Yikes!
Well, folks, there's only one thing
an announcer can do at a time like this.
Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight!
- [crowd chanting] Fight! Fight! - [Tilly] Oh, my...
the arena has been overtaken with bloodlust!
[Gramma screams, grunts]
Gramma, are you okay?
[Gramma battle yell]
Something must be done.
We cannot stand for this!
Wait. Put me in, Coach.
I'd like to try out what you've taught me, eh.
- You're ready. - Aye-aye.
[Mikey grunts]
- [both vocalize] - [Gramma] You rat!
Oh, hey there, eh.
I'm Icicles Team Captain
Mikey LeBoeuf, and today
I learned an important lesson.
Instead of hitting one another,
why don't you try expressing your feelings?
You can use this as a "talking stick."
Thank you kindly, Mr. LeBoeuf.
[Gramma yells, strikes]
- Ohh! - [man over P.A.] Slap shot!
[groans] If there must be brutality,
let there at least be equality.
[both grunting]
Hey, guess who found his whistle!
[Nancy and Cricket screaming]
Oof!
[both manically laughing]
Does that look peaceful to you?
[impact grunt]
[both scream]
[both quietly gasp and grunt]
- We're alive! - Whoo!
What have you done to my Zelda?!
[both grunting]
Uh-- Uh--
[whistle blows]
Well, that was a bust!
I can't believe we got kicked out!
All I wanted was to see a hockey game with my family,
and watch grown men pummel each other.
Well, they got to see an old man get pummeled.
You got a mean right hook.
You put up a pretty good fight too.
I was lookin' for those!
[Nick vocalizes chomping]
You know, Nick,
maybe I was a bit harsh on ya earlier.
I mean, yer sitting out here,
just the same as the rest of us.
I just wanted a corndog!
[sobbing]
What I'm sayin' is...
maybe you are a part of this mess of a family.
You're a Green, through and through.
Actually, my last name's Mulligan,
but I appreciate the thought.
[new corndog vendor] Outside corn dogs!
Corn dogs for if you're kicked outside!
Look alive, people!
I'm buyin' corn dogs!
For the whole family.
Did you say corn dogs?
Yippeee!