♪ One, two One, two three, four ♪
♪ La la la la la la la la ♪
♪ Nana nana nana nana nana ♪
♪ La la la la la la la la ♪
Wow. Wait.
The Smalton Fair.
An ode to the ballyhoo of yesteryear.
I don't know where to start.
I do. Hey, you!
Give me a funnel cake and keep 'em coming.
Yes, ma'am.
Well, I came here to do one thing
and one thing only,
and that's ride...
the Snortin' Donkey's Leap.
They say it produces the same G-force
as being hit by a midsize sedan.
So, if you'll excuse me.
You there!
Do you wish to know your fate?
I am Zalmar, the all-knowing.
Allow me to tell you your fortune.
Hey, look, it's one of those old timey
fortune telling machines.
Today, you shall win a prize.
Well, what do you know?
I was headed to play some carnival games,
so that checks out.
My turn. My turn.
You shall discover something new.
Come one, come, y'all,
and see amazing creatures you've never seen before.
Exotic animals?
That is new.
One side, Tilly.
Crickey want a fortu-ey.
So, you wish for adventure or something grand.
On this day, you will be slapped
by a stinky little hand!
What?
As fate approaches,
there will be many signs.
Your time is nigh.
I... I... I...
That was oddly specific.
Well, everyone have fun.
Weird.
Yeah, I won't think about it.
It's probably fine.
But it did seem to know Mom and Tilly's fortune.
Does that mean mine will come true, too?
Gah. No, no.
I just got to relax and focus on riding...
The Snortin' Donkey's Leap.
But, how am I supposed to enjoy myself
knowing I'm gonna get slapped by a...
Ahhh! Sticky hand.
Jeez, boy.
I'm just gonna offer you some funnel cake.
Mullets on mudbugs.
That fortune teller is starting to make me feel paranoid.
I wanted donkey themed thrills today,
not scary thrills.
I have to do something to change my fate.
There will be no stink slap on my watch.
All right. Dinner and a show.
Good evening, folks.
I'm Elrod, the beast tamer,
and I have some mighty special animals
to show y'all today.
First up is one of my personal favorites,
Arthur, the ferocious!
What a beautiful reptile.
As an alligator,
he's one of the toughest creatures on the planet.
But you know what animal is even tougher?
Me! Yeah!
I can't watch.
Oh, don't worry, Tilly. He's a pro.
That man is in no danger.
Of course not.
He is the danger.
Just look at that poor alligator.
I'm not standing for this.
Hmm. Now what can I win for the kiddos?
Ooh. Can't go wrong with America wrapped.
Hey, carnie, dart me.
Sure thing, Nance.
What? Dad!
What are you doing here?
What? I can't get a job and earn some honest cash?
You can play, but I gotta warn you,
this game's pretty tough.
Oh, yeah?
Hey, you're pretty good.
Lots of practice at biker joints.
Well, to win that America Rat,
you just gotta pop one more balloon.
It shouldn't be too tough for an expert like you.
Hmm.
Oh. So close.
What?
So, how'd you rig this one, Dad?
Rig? Nancy, I am hurt.
You just made a lousy shot.
You know what? Forget it.
I know all your tricks,
and I'll figure this one out soon enough.
Zalmar said I'll be smacked by a stinky hand, right?
So, I gathered up every smelly little thing
this fair has to offer.
Not a stinky hand in sight.
Love the initiative, kiddo.
Yes, sir. I'm taking my fate into my own non-stinky hands.
What do you think of that, Universe?
Man, this cotton candy is stinking good.
It really slaps.
What?
Stinking hunk of junk.
I ought to give it a good slap.
Ahhh!
As fate approaches,
there will be many signs...
Signs, signs.
Your time is nigh.
Oh, man. He did say all that.
That must mean the slap is still on!
Wow. I mean, I've taken on my share of garden gophers,
but an alligator!
Now, that's some critter wrangling.
Right, sweetie?
Sweetie?
Why don't you pick on your own species?
Tilly, get off that man!
Only if Mr. Elrod
ceases all alligator wrestling activities.
What? No way!
So be it.
I said yield.
Hmm.
Oh! Too bad.
Okay. Is it the darts?
Must be the balloon.
What did you do?
I just made another five bucks.
Why do you need my slipper again?
Because, Gramma,
if I can't stop my fortune from coming true,
then maybe I can take control
and steer it in a gentler direction.
Hey, little boy,
wanna give me a slap with this slipper?
Be gone.
Wait.
Sir, madam,
would you mind taking this smelly slipper
and gently pummeling my cheek?
Huh. Oh.
Oh, come on.
Doesn't anyone want to slap a little boy?
- Oh, Mayor Beans. - Huh?
I knew we shouldn't have done the dunk tank together.
Now you've got that awful wet dog smell.
But I still love you.
Who's a stinky Mayor?
You are.
Stinky, stinky Mayor.
Mr. Ernie.
Oh, Cricket.
Slap me.
Uh, beg your pardon?
I can't ride the Donkey's Leap until you slap me.
Now, do it!
I... I don't think I can fulfill your request.
Oh, yes, you can. Get back here!
Please, I won't slap a small child.
Come on, Ernie.
Just a little tap.
- Whoa. - Yeah. Come on.
Get over here and slap me.
Whoa!
Who turned the lights out?
Argh. [screams] Whoa.
Get back here.
I lost them. Where'd Slappers run off to?
What? Slap who?
My bush baby.
They're one of the few animals that have hands.
It's true.
Stink slap?
Oh, no.
How's the fortune fight going, boy?
Bad. Real bad.
The one thing I wanted to do today
was ride that ride,
and now I can't.
Because if I do,
a bush baby's gonna stink slap me.
That's life, Cricket. Look at me.
The power outage killed all the fryer equipment,
so I resorted to eating raw funnel cake dough.
Even though it supposedly will make me "violently ill."
You can't be so worried about the bad stuff
that you stop enjoying the good stuff.
You're right.
I know what I gotta do.
Thanks, Gramma.
Boo. My guts are going nuts.
Na. Nothing a little raw dough can't fix.
Oh. Just one dart left.
Huh?
My zipper.
Hm.
Huh?
You figured it out.
No wonder the darts were flying so funny.
Gotta admit, that's pretty clever, Dad.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, don't spread it around, okay?
Tilly, please.
- Let Elrod go. - I can't.
If I do, he'll keep hurting the alligator.
What? I'd never hurt Arthur.
I love him. He's my snappy baby boy.
But, you were exerting your might
upon the animal just moments ago.
Well, the truth is,
me and Arthur ain't really wrestling.
- You're not? - It's all for show.
Gator food ain't cheap,
so we fake it to pay the bills.
Honestly, I like to think of our wrestling
as giving Arthur a big old hug.
I understand now.
After all, what is a grapple
if not an enthusiastic embrace?
Let me tell ya,
you're pretty good at wrestling, kid.
Mister, you might just have a future gator hugger on your hands.
Well, I don't know about...
- What? No, child. - No, no, no, no, no, no.
You're not trained.
Fortune be darned.
I'm coming for you, Donkey's Leap.
Dweezil, I know there's a tiny, stinking critter lurking around,
but I don't care.
I'm going on that ride.
Don't matter to Dweezil.
Yes!
Hmm.
It seems like the coast is clear.
All right, leap me.
Oh, my gosh.
This is awesome!
Yeah!
Huh?
We meet at last, stinky hand.
You've kept me from riding the Donkey's Leap all day,
but I'm not afraid anymore.
Go ahead, Slappers.
Do your wor... Argh.
Ha. That wasn't so... Argh.
Yeah. I'm doing it!
There they are.
- Slappers! - Cricket.
Yeah...
Oh, come on home, little guy.
Cricket, you got slapped.
Quite a lot.
Just like Zalmar said.
But I rode the heck out of this ride.
You good, boy?
Yeah. Never better.
But I gotta say, all this has got me thinking.
Is fate real,
or did all this stuff just happen 'cause I freaked out
and caused my own fortune to come true?
Does free will even exist?
Beats me.
But what I do know is I ate a lot of funnel cake.
Ooh. Ugh.
Wait, Gramma. No, no, no!