[chomping]
And as it turns out, it wasn't a sausage.
It was his finger, and he ate it.
Isn't that gross?
Yes.
[both laughing]
All right, kids, pass me your plates
so I can wash 'em before the syrup gets hard.
Uh-uh-uh. Do not lift a finger, Mother,
for I will clean the dishes today.
Aw. [chuckles] That's really considerate of you.
Uh... Ew.
- Cricket! - [exclaims] Plate!
- Here you go, brother. - [exclaims]
- Get off the table. - Come on!
Do mine, do mine.
Uh, Cricket? That's a lot of syrup.
[exhales] Relax, Dad.
Sugar has no effect on--
Oh.
Oh, there it is.
- [exclaims] - [all chattering indistinctly]
- Whee! - [glass breaking]
Oh, no. The syrup dispenser.
[sighs] I'll just add that to the list of things
Cricket destroyed this month.
- [Cricket laughs] - [clatters]
Don't sweat it, Bill.
- Accidents happen. - [grunts]
I can just find a replacement at the Smalton Thrift Barn.
Buying stuff there is cheaper than buying new,
and, sometimes, you can find deals
on rare and valuable items.
Oh, that does sound intriguing.
- Eh, I do love an antique. - [grunts]
Well, why don't we all go as a family?
Fine, but I'm not riding next to him.
Bingo. Bingo. Bingo. Bingo. Bingo. Bingo. Bingo.
I'll get the leash.
- [laughing] - Here we are.
The Smalton Thrift Barn.
- [bell chiming] - Y'all go look around
while I find a syrup bottle.
This place is nicer than our barn.
Gosh.
Everything in here looks so delicate and fragile.
Good thing I've got Cricket on a tight--
- [Cricket cackling] - What the--
- Consarn it. He's loose! - [hiccupping]
Eh, this place is a bust.
Nothing but junk around here...
No one bother me. Gramma's having loom time!
Look, Grandpa, this is you.
[blows raspberry] Oh, yeah?
Well, uh... Ooh! That's you.
[Tilly] Hmm. That does look like me.
- [both laughing] - Oh, yeah? Well, that's you.
[gasping]
[♪ eerie music playing]
Wh... What kinda messed up kid
would wanna play with that creepy thing?
Whoa! Easy on the insults, Grandpa.
I sense an extremely vindictive energy
coming from that doll.
Vindictive energy? Sure.
And I've never slept in a porta-potty.
Come on, let's go look for more crud to laugh at.
[panting] Ah.
There you are. Now, son,
seeing as you're a little ramped up,
I think it's best if you stick with me.
Otherwise, we'd have a real
bull in a china shop situation.
[growling]
Uh, that wasn't a suggestion.
- [growls and pants] - [grunting]
[screams] If Cricket breaks anything,
it'll cost me a fortune!
[Nancy] Syrup dispenser, syrup dispenser.
Ah-ha! Oh! I knew they'd have one here.
Good ol' Thrift Barn. [chuckles]
And what's this?
Vintage Biker Buzz Motor Oil.
Oh, my gosh!
The original 1936 label,
complete with a misprinted upside-down bumblebee logo?
This will fetch 1,000 bucks online, easy.
And no one knows how valuable it is.
[chuckling]
They sure do got a lot of old stuff
in this antique shop.
Yeah. Including you, Grandpa Nick. [laughs]
[grumbling] Ah!
Apologies if my jest
landed a little too close to home.
No. It's that dumb doll again.
[♪ eerie music playing]
How did it get--
Ah. Nice try, kid.
You wanted to pull one over on your ol' grandpa,
so you moved that doll over here to mess with me.
Oh, I did not move her.
Then how did it get all the way
over here in the back of the store?
Dolls are curious entities.
Seemingly inanimate and immobile.
And yet, who knows what they're truly capable of
when no one is watching?
[shudders] No, no, no, no.
It's just a stupid doll, Tilly.
It can't hurt us.
[gulps] Can it?
Let's keep moving.
[laughing]
Suddenly... slowing down.
Yes! His sugar rush is wearing off.
But must go on!
Easy, son.
Why don't you take a nap?
Ooh! Let Papa sing to you.
♪ Hush little Cricket Listen to me sing ♪
♪ Papa's gonna stop you from breaking anything ♪
[thuds]
- [rattling] - Oh.
Soda.
Wha... Cricket, no!
That vintage Splish is just pure calcified sugar!
[smacking lips]
Mmm. [laughs]
I can taste time.
No, not again.
Crickey's back, baby!
- Whoa! - Unaffected. Whoo!
- [zooming] - [cackling]
Ma! Help me with Cricket.
Can't. Weavin'.
This syrup dispenser
and this rusty old oil can. [chuckles]
- That'll be $1.98. - Keep the change.
Thank you... [hiccups] so much.
- [cash register dings] - I can tell you're a good egg.
Aw. Thanks for saying that. A few years ago,
I'm not sure I would've agreed with you.
I got into some trouble,
found myself on the wrong side of the law a few times.
- [hiccups] - But I've worked hard
- to turn my life around. - [hiccups]
And now, I think I can confidently say
I am a good person.
- [hiccups] - Those are some nasty hiccups.
- You okay? - Sure am. [hiccups]
It's just that I've had these... [hiccups]
hiccups for going on... [hiccups] six days now.
Six days? That's awful.
I've tried to get rid of them by scaring myself.
[growls and hiccups] Huh.
I've tried grabbing my tongue. [hiccups and chuckles]
I even held my breath till I passed out. [hiccups]
Woke up and it was closing time.
And on top of that... [hiccups]
business has been so very slow lately.
Looks like, after 50 years,
I might lose the Thrift Barn. [hiccups]
Wow. Sorry to hear all that.
But every penny helps. [hiccups]
So I thank you kindly for your... [hiccups] business.
Yeah.
I heard drinking vinegar
can get rid of the... [hiccups] hiccups.
[laughs] I also heard it really burns the throat.
but... [grunts] it's worth a shot.
Here it goes.
- [gulping] - You know, uh,
I'm just gonna look for my family. Excuse me.
[Tilly] Nope. Nope. Ooh!
I found my summer fit. What do you think, Grandpa?
I'm thinking the next time I see that creepy doll,
I'm gonna smash its face in.
I... I mean, dolls can't come to life.
I'd have to be a real moron to believe something like--
[♪ eerie music playing]
What?
Ah, now that's a catchy tune.
Leave me alone, you dumb doll!
Grandpa, stop!
Can't you see you're making it worse?
I ain't going down like this, Till.
Nick Mulligan is not gonna die
at the hands of some ugly doll.
[gasps and screams]
Here we go.
[Nancy] Buying this rare, antique oil can for 99 cents
doesn't make me a bad person, does it?
[woman] Of course not.
- Huh? - You found a great deal.
You should feel good.
Y... Yeah.
She asked for 99 cents, and that's what I paid.
That's not good or bad. It's commerce.
That's right. You swindling her is on her.
[scoffs] Well, I mean, I didn't swindle her.
Exactly.
You didn't know she was in financial trouble.
And even if you had, buying a valuable item
doesn't make you a bad person.
You're a smart shopper.
Yeah, I'm a good person.
[all] Sure you are.
- [screaming] - [laughing]
No, son. Whoa! [grunts] Cricket!
Oh, no!
[dings]
[cackling] Ooh.
[Bill] Cricket, get away from those!
[mooing]
Aw, jeez. Did he just moo?
Okay, how do I stop a raging bull? [gasps]
Oh, yeah. Now, that's how you weave a rug.
- [panting] Thanks, Ma! - Ah...
Why?
[Bill] Stop right there.
Mess with the Bill and you get the...
Uh, the Bill!
- [growls and grunts] - [rattling]
[grunts]
[snorting and panting]
That's right.
♪ Come and get it ♪
[screaming] Wha--
- [grunts] - Ole!
[grunting]
- Calm down, buddy. - [growls and grunts]
- [thuds] - [gasps]
Gotcha!
Nance, on your six!
- Huh? Ooh. - [thuds]
- Oh. - [grunts]
- [wheels squeaking] - [thuds]
It's not real...
Grandpa Nick, just tell the doll you're sorry.
I'm not apologizing to her.
[screaming]
What do you want with me?
[grunts]
- Oh, that was close. - [thuds]
Whoo! That was closer.
But nothing's broken.
So the doll wasn't following me around the store.
There were just four of 'em?
Not that I was actually scared or nothin'.
That ain't no capote, boy!
[shattering]
What? [gasps]
Now, what... What happened here?
I'm so sorry.
These dolls were not cheap.
All tallied up, they cost $1,000.
$1,000?
[groaning]
Wait. [gasps]
It's a miracle.
My hiccups, they're gone.
The sound of the dolls breaking
must have startled 'em out of me.
I'm sorry about the damage. I'll pay for them.
Sweet of you to offer,
but these creepy things have been in the shop
- for decades. [laughs] - [shatters]
And no one was ever gonna buy 'em.
Please, I insist.
We broke 'em, we buy 'em.
And I won't hear otherwise.
Hoo-wee!
This boy is out. What a day.
Bill, it's 11:00 a.m.
Why on earth did you give that lady $1,000
when she said you didn't have to?
It's fine, Dad.
I can sell this online for a grand and break even.
I see what's going on.
Your dumb guilty conscience
made you think you're a bad person
'cause you got a sweet deal on an oil can.
I know you think it's silly, but I wanna be a good person.
And that means that I've gotta work at it,
'cause being a good person
requires actually doing good things.
[scoffs] How did I raise such a chump?
Grandpa Nick, don't fret.
Since we had to purchase multiple dolls,
I pieced them together so we can take them home as one.
I call her Mega Marienne.
[screaming]
♪ I got sweat in my eyes ♪
♪ Lost a bet and got bit by a hundred flies ♪
♪ I fell out a big ol' tree ♪
♪ Hit every branch and scraped up both my knees ♪
♪ I got chased by dogs ♪
♪ Licked by a frog ♪
♪ Got a rash on my legs ♪
♪ Dropped a dozen eggs ♪
♪ I got splinters in seven of ten ♪
♪ And tomorrow I'll do it all again ♪