[theme song plays]
♪ One, two one, two, three ♪
[vocalizing]
[chicken clucks]
[BILL] Nothing like an excitin' day
of window shopping, huh, kids?
It's like going to a zoo for material goods.
Let's go inside!
Whoa!
Think you can handle these looks, Alice?
I don't know. Can they handle me?
Hey, Dad.
Look at these bad boys!
[robotic] I am from the future.
-Can we buy 'em? -No, Cricket,
we can't afford this stuff.
We're just lookin'. Now, come on.
Let's see what's next door.
Man, why are we wastin' our time here
if we can't have any of this stuff?
Sometimes pretending can be just as nice as having, kiddo.
It ain't nice. It stinks!
-[girl gasps] -[kids chattering]
Can I please get your autograph?
Uh, yeah, I guess.
Here ya go.
Thank you, thank you, thank you!
[cheering and laughing]
What the heck was that about?
Maybe it has something to do with that.
I'm Maria Media, and this is Channel 11 news.
We've just received word that international pop superstar,
Zillon Brax, has gone missing.
Zillon rocketed to fame when his hit single,
"Baby I Could Buy Your Dad"
went platinum in a record 12 seconds.
Oh, my gosh. He looks like a prettier me.
Zillon was last seen earlier today at a press conference,
where he delivered some shocking news.
I've called you all here to tell you
I'm sick of fame and having everything given to me! I just wanna...
♪ Live a normal life oh... ♪
We will not be resuming our normal programming
until this national treasure is found.
That is so weird.
[STORE CLERK] Oh, my goodness!
Zillon in my store!
Please, keep the sunglasses you have on.
We would be honored if Zillon Brax wore our merchandise.
So, let me get this straight.
I can keepsies these for freesies
because you think I'm Zillon Braxies?
Mm-hmm, mm-hmm, mm-hmm!
With this pop star fella out of the picture,
his life of fame and fortune could be mine!
Whoa, whoa, whoa, there, Cricket.
Ours. Could be ours.
Don't you dare leave your Mama out of this.
[mischievous giggling]
[BILL] A store dedicated to luxury umbrellas!
-Seems unnecessary. -[BILL] Oh, it is!
[ZILLON BRAX] ♪ Woe is me ♪
♪ Why am I so famous? ♪
[sighs] If only there was a way
I could walk amongst the ordinaries.
[BILL] What do ya think of this one, sweetie?
[ZILLON BRAX] What a normal family.
So simple, so pure...
♪ So real ♪
Fancy umbrellas sure are somethin'.
Now, where's Cricket? Oh, there you are, Cricket!
You comin' home or what, son?
Me? Your son?
Is this my chance to live a normal life?
No agents? No managers? No paparazzi?
Yes, Dad!
♪ I'm coming home ♪
[CRICKET] With these new clothes,
I'll be the spittin' image of Zillon Brax!
And I'll be your manager!
All set! Well...
How do I look?
Like a pop superstar.
Ah-bingo, ah-bango!
You called, Zillon?
I, Zillon Brax,
have decided I want these clothes.
Now, I don't need to, uh, pay for these, right?
Are you kidding? There's not a store in Big City
that would make Zillon Brax pay for anything!
What do ya say we put that to the test?
♪♪
-[no audio] -[music playing]
-[no audio] -[music continues]
♪♪
[both laughing]
Whoo! Yeah!
[both] Being famous rules!
[ZILLON BRAX] ♪ Livin' a simple life ♪
♪ With my new family ♪
There's so much to learn!
You must be Grandfather.
[GRAMMA] Hey, Cricket, come here!
Pass me the remote, would ya?
♪ Bonding with Grandmother ♪
♪ Like a normal boy ♪
Yeah, thanks, Cricket.
-[Tilly humming] -Hey, sister!
What is this simple task that you are performing?
Oh, I'm just brushing Saxon's fibers.
[laughs] I love the sibling banter!
It's what I've always...
♪ Dreamed of in my dreams ♪
Hey, "Dad-man", anything I could do
to help out around the house?
[chuckles] Well, gosh, Cricket,
it's great to see ya take some initiative.
You could start with taking out the trash.
-That'll be a big help. -Take out the trash?
Sure! I can do that!
Look at me, livin' the simple life.
Now, where do I... Ahh!
The trash box.
Get in there, you!
♪ I love my new life ♪
Somethin' seems off about Cricket.
[AS SAXON] Better keep an eye on him!
Good thinkin', Saxon.
[JEWELER] Enjoy your free jewelry, Zillon!
Oh, man, being famous is the best!
Yeah, it's been fun, but maybe we should call it a day.
What?! Are you kidding me?
I'm always gonna be Zillon Brax!
-Zillon Brax? -Zillon Brax?
-What the heck? -[kids screaming]
-[NANCY] Cricket! -[kids clamoring]
[clamoring continues]
Quick, run in here. I'll hold 'em off.
Hurry, Cricket! The pre-growth-spurt tweens
-are slippin through! -Oh, man, what do I do?
-[Cricket exclaims] -[kids clamoring]
They're gone. Don't worry.
-Where are we? -Somewhere safe.
You can hide out in here until all those fans go away.
What's with all the mannequins?
Oh, I've been waiting for this moment
for such a long time.
What are you-- Oh, my gravy!
What is that?!
Welcome home, Zillon Brax!
Aah!
[GRAMMA] There, Grsnarft!
Hey, that's not a word.
-Fight me! -Oh, I will.
Nice one, Grandmother.
Hmm, what's going on with Cricket?
[AS SAXON] Perhaps a small test is in order!
Hey, Cricket, remind me,
what's your favorite cheese?
I like the yellow cheese from the moo cows.
Uh-huh, and remind me again,
when is your birthday?
♪ The day I was born, of course ♪
Blast!
[as Saxon] He got ya there!
Gr-snaab, gr-snarp. Sorry, Ma,
but "grsnarft" is just not a word.
[GRAMMA] Well, keep lookin'!
We need somethin' more tellin'.
Hey, Cricket, what do you think of this word?
Uh, I think...
♪ That's a good play, sister ♪
[gasps] He didn't laugh at the word "toot"!
[as Saxon] And he has the voice of an angel!
You're not my brother!
No, it's me, Crocket.
Papa, are you hearin' this?
Tilly, don't bother Crocket.
[groans, stammers] Ugh!
You silly boy. I'm Amaryllis.
Your biggest fan!
I keep everything you throw away.
Even your baby teeth.
But I don't need any of this garbage.
I have you!
You don't know how hard we worked to get you here.
Even though some people said I couldn't do it!
Well, who's laughing now, huh, Janice? Huh?
Zillon? Zillon!
Where'd you go, my little pop sensation?
-[angrily] Zillon! -Oh, this girl is crazy.
Like swallow-a-chicken-whole kinda crazy!
Cricket, where are you?
Mom, you have to come get me!
I've been taken by a--
There you are, Zillon!
-Cricket? -Sorry!
Zillon can't talk right now...
[hushed] or ever again!
Who is this? Where's my son?
Oh, my gosh, my baby boy's in trouble!
-I gotta call the police! -[KEYS] Oh, what ever for?
Officer Keys, oh, thank goodness!
Cricket's been kidnapped!
Oh, sorry, Nancy, but you're on your own.
The entire police force
is out searching for Zillon Brax.
[laughs] I'm a big fan!
Anywho, good luck finding your son.
-Cartwheel! -Wait, come back!
[AMARYLLIS] I would've never guessed your face
had such a rich baby softness to it, Zillon.
Hyah! You got the wrong guy!
I was just pretendin' to be Zillon
because, uh, well, I look like him.
[chuckles] Gah!
Oh, I know Zillon.
And you're Zillon, Zillon!
My name is Cricket Green. I swear!
Heh, you're such a funny liar, Zillon! But enough small talk.
It's time for you to meet your new singing partner!
It's me.
No, you're kooky dukes,
and I'm gettin' outta here!
Come on, Zillon!
We're gonna sing forever!
Help! You gotta help me, somebody!
Now, now, Zillon.
[demonic] Save your pipes for the duet!
Papa, can't you tell
that this boy is an impostor?
Tilly, I think I can tell
who's my son and who isn't.
Everyone, quick! Cricket's in trouble,
-and... wait, you're-- you're Zillon Brax! -What can I say?
♪ It's true ♪
-I knew it! -[BILL] Huh.
I'm puttin' the pieces together,
and it is clear now that that is not my boy.
Bill, Cricket's in trouble.
He's been captured by one of Zillon's crazy fan girls.
What? How'd that happen?
Well, uh... we kind of used Cricket and Zillon's
uncanny resemblance to get free stuff.
I can't believe it!
How could you be so thoughtless?
Seriously, Bill? This coming from the guy
who mistook a stranger for his own son?
-Touché. -We can talk about
how I'm the only good parent here later!
How are we gonna find this girl that took Cricket?
He was probably snatched up by Amaryllis.
She's always trying to lure me to this creepy,
abandoned mannequin warehouse.
Well, what are we waitin' for?
Let's go get our Cricket back!
[FAMILY] Yeah!
[ZILLON BRAX] ♪ Yeah ♪
[Amaryllis singing] ♪ Baby, I got money And life's so rad ♪
♪ Got enough riches to buy your dad ♪
Take it away, partner!
[weakly] ♪ Buy your dad ♪
♪ Forever and ever and ever ♪
Universe, ya there?
I know we don't always get along,
but I'm beggin' ya! I've learned my lesson.
Maybe my real life doesn't have everything,
but I'd give anything for it now.
Zillon! You have to sing your parts.
Oh, all right.
♪ Oh... ♪
-[door banging] -What?!
[banging, slams]
[all] Yah! Cricket!
Oh, family! [panting] Mm!
No matter what trouble you're in,
We'll always come a-runnin'.
Fam's always got each other's backs.
-Uh... -Oh, whoa.
So, uh, you must be the real--
Zillon! [sniffs deeply]
[giggles] Oh, yeah! Now that's the real stuff.
Zillon?! We received word
you might be here! [gasps]
Oh, gosh, I was too late!
Why?
Hey, Zillon here, still alive.
Zillon! You're not hurt, are ya?
Oh, don't worry, Officer.
You see, I tried to capture Zillon,
but I got the wrong one.
You tried to take away my Zillon?
You have to learn that you can't just
take a celebrity for yourself.
They belong to all of us.
Wait! At least give me a minute
with the real Zillon! Zillon!
[TILLY] Say what you want about her,
she knows how to decorate.
You know, living amongst you simple folk
has given me a lot to think about.
But I don't like to think!
So I'm just gonna go back to being rich and famous!
Mwah! Mwah! Peace and love, yo!
Also, new album drops October 12th.
Huh. You okay, Cricket?
I've just never been happier to be myself.
Now let's go home!
Wait. Toot.
[laughing] Toot!
[laughs] Tilly,
how do you come up with this stuff?
-[laughing] -Checks out!
[ANNOUNCER] Well, I don't believe my eyes!
Bengals star quarterback,
Russell "The Russ Bus" Remington
has just run out of the stadium!
That's right, Bob. But what in the world
could be more important than football?
-[nurse] Next. -[Russ grunting]
-[patient] Whoa! -[Russ grunting]
Oof! Hey, Russ Bus, big fan!
Where is he?
Where's my brand-new son?
Shh. He's resting.
Let's see the little punter.
Hey, Remy.
-[Remy coos] -Incredible!
All right, let's see what he's got!
Russ, he was just born!
Sweetie, I was throwin' a tight spiral
when I was 12 minutes old.
Okay, Remy, Daddy's open!
[giggles]
Oh.
[groans]
-[quarterback] Hut! -[players grunting]
[grunting continues]
Holy smokes, Remy!
I've never seen anyone
so good at a game before.
There's heat radiatin' off of ya!
It's from concentration. [grunts]
[GAME ANNOUNCER] Touchdown, boy!
Ooh-wee! You're amazing at this game.
Not amazing enough. [grunts]
What's wrong, bud? Ya feelin' fussy?
No, I'm just under a lot of pressure.
You know how my dad was, like,
a super famous pro football player?
Uh, yeah.
For Pete's sake, we're playing
your dad's ding-dang game.
[sighs] I've tried for years
to impress my dad with my violin playing,
ballroom dancing, and puzzle-solving skills.
But the only thing he cares about is football.
But I have a plan!
You see, today, I'm enrolled at my dad's--
[grunts] annual... Oh, uh, the annual
-Lil' Bengals Football Camp! -[Cricket] A football camp?
I've been preparing for it by playing this game nonstop.
It's taught me so much about the sport.
Draw in the linebackers with a fake,
look off the safety,
hit the tight end on the post,
and... [grunts]
[GAME ANNOUNCER] Touchdown, boy!
Great job, Champ!
I'm proud of ya!
-[whimpering] -Master Remy.
It's time to leave for camp.
Wish me luck, my friend.
I'll do ya one better and come along with ya.
-[Remy] Really? -You're my friend,
and you seem kind of emotionally fragile.
I've got your back!
[whistle blowing, players grunting]
[grunting continues]
Hey, Remy, this thing's pretty sturdy.
I am indestructible!
-[horn blows] -Welcome, campers, to
the Lil' Bengals Football Camp.
Now give it up for your host,
two time Ultra Bowl champion,
Russell The Russ Buss Remington!
Wow.
What do you think about Cricket and Remy
playing football in the home of the Big City Bengals?
[slurps] It's pretty neat.
[GRAMMA] It's not neat!
The Greens are Roosters fans!
I can't believe y'all dragged me
into enemy territory!
Roosters rule! Bengals stink!
Y'all are a bunch of trash bags!
Ma, be civil. Your grandson is down there.
-My former grandson. -Now listen up, kids!
You're here to learn, and have a good time,
but also to compete for my approval.
At day's end, I will select
the most worthy footballer among you
as most valuable player, Camp MVP!
Biggy the Bengal, bring out the goods!
[Tilly gasps]
Now, that's a big kitty!
[RUSSELL] Camp MVP will receive
Russ Bus merchandise,
an autographed copy of "End Zone Rush,"
and most valuable of all,
my respect and eternal admiration.
-[KIDS] Whoa! -[REMY] That's all I've ever wanted!
Remy? What are you doing here?
Hey, Dad, I'm here to play.
I like football!
It's true. He's a regular football freak.
Well, block my linebackers.
I thought this day would never come!
But don't expect special treatment
-just because you're my son. -Bring it on!
Hi! I couldn't help but notice
that you are a gigantic feline.
-[BIGGY] Mm-hmm. -I have come to offer you affection.
-Oh... Whoa! -Come here, now.
[indistinct humming]
Peculiar. It seems this feline
has never felt the joy of a good head pat.
I must enlighten him.
After all, when Tilly sets her mind
to petting a kitty cat,
she's gonna pet that kitty cat.
[RUSSELL] Now, if you wanna win MVP,
you gotta learn some basic drills.
Watch and learn! [Russell grunting]
Ooh, ahh!
Waah-bam!
Ha-ha! Still got it.
With all that video game has taught you,
this should be a piece of cake.
Green, you're up. Let's see what you got.
[CRICKET] Time to tote the big brown bean.
Don't call it that.
-Go, Cricket! -Traitor!
Touchdown!
[exclaiming, laughing]
[screaming gibberish]
[munching] Hmm?
How'd I do, Coach?
You're fast and agile,
but have no brains whatsoever.
Tough but fair. Your turn, Remy!
Show your old man what you can do.
Okay, Remy, just like in the video game.
Here we go!
Aah! [grunts] Whoa! [grunts]
A little rusty, but no worries.
-[Remy exclaiming] -Still feelin' it out.
-[Remy grunting] -Okay, come on, Remy.
Enough foolin' around!
[Remy screaming, crying]
-[Remy exclaiming] -[Russell sighs]
What the heck happened out there?
I don't know! It's like my brain knows what to do,
but my doughy little body just can't do it.
-Coming here was a mistake. -It's a dang shame!
You'd be unstoppable if only we could put
your brainful brains in my brainless body.
[gasps] I know exactly what we'll do!
-Well, y-you do? -I... do!
[TILLY] All right, big kitty.
Let's see if you can resist
the tuneful tune of tuna.
[humming] Huh?
I just wanna give you love!
[Biggy screaming]
-[whistle blows] -All right, next up, the scrimmage.
It's your best chance to impress me and win MVP.
So don't mess, uh... What the-- Remy?
[chuckles] Guess I'm big now.
Whoa, Remy got tall.
Yeah, weirdly tall.
[chuckles] Well, puberty hit me all at once, too.
Let's see what you can do with it.
Cricket, are you sure this is going to work?
I'm 100% confident this plan is flawless.
-[whistle blows] -[RUSSELL] All right!
Line up and play ball!
Now, remember, I'm the brains...
And I'm the skittery little body.
[REMY] Blue 18, set, hike!
[players grunting]
-Cricket, run! -Okay!
Whoa!
[Remy screaming]
What in the football world?
Turn, turn! Not out of bounds!
Hard cut right! Spin move!
Juke left! And stop!
[RUSSELL] I can't believe it!
He scored a touchdown!
-Hike! Throw left! -[players grunting]
[both grunting]
Ha-ha! Yeah!
Stiff arm, nine o'clock!
-[kid groans] -[BILL] Whoo!
-[whimpering, screams] -Come here, you!
[panting]
You're dominating out there!
I think I found my MVP!
Body, wait! What'd you say, Dad?
-[all grunt] -[REMY groans]
[slow motion] Son!
[BIGGY grunts] What? No!
[REMY groans]
[gags] I think I'm gonna be sick.
Uh... Ow, my legs.
Uh, ow, I'm legs.
Jumpin' Georgia pass, I can't believe it!
I can't either.
-A deceiver! -[BIGGY] Ugh!
I'm very disappointed, Remy.
And to think I was gonna name you MVP.
Well, you've got some learnin' to do, Mr. Remington.
Remy may not have all the moves for this field,
but he's the best digital quarterback
this side of wherever.
Better than you, I bet!
Uh, Cricket, what are you doing?
No one's gonna be better than me
at my own video game.
You really think you can take me on, son?
Uh...
Wink.
Yes. Yes, I do?
[chuckling] All right, then!
Game on!
Oh, corduroy, Cricket.
If I lose, my dad will never be proud of me.
Stay cool, man. This is what you've been training for.
You've got this. You're a genius.
-[REMY] Okay! -We're both geniuses.
-[BILL] Whoo! Let's go, Remy! -[TILLY] Whoo! Yeah!
-Yeah, you can do it! -Yeah, go, Remy!
-[CRICKET] Let's do it! -I hope you both lose.
Go, Roosters!
Hike!
Just so you know, I'm not goin' easy on--
-[Remy grunts] -[game whistle blows]
[GAME ANNOUNCER] Touchdown, boy!
Whoa, how did you do that?
Dad, I play the game on super hard mode.
Well, son, buckle up cause I'm puttin'
this bus into high gear.
[chuckles] Bring it on.
[players grunting, panting]
Ha-ha!
[player grunting]
[both grunt]
-[whistle blows] -[players grunting]
Excuse me, Papa. I don't understand
what's happening at all.
Well, sweetie, it's close.
It's the fourth quarter,
and they're neck and neck.
Follow-up question:
Is Remy okay?
-[Remy groaning] -[CRICKET] Oh, no.
He's concentrating too hard again.
I can feel the heat from here.
Hey, you okay, buddy?
I'm just...
...running hot. [sighs]
[CRICKET] Remy!
Okay, Remy, Daddy's open!
[giggling]
[sighs] Disappointed in my own baby.
[babbling]
I am no baby!
I am a man!
Oof!
Respect me!
Football! What happened?
Remy, hurry! Your dad's about to win!
Get back in the game!
[grunting]
Here comes my winning touchdown!
Think again, maybe!
[all grunting]
[Russell player groaning]
[RUSSELL] Huh?
[GAME ANNOUNCER] Touchdown, boy!
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah!
[game crowd cheering]
Ah...
Great job, Champ! I'm--
Huh?
Remy, I don't understand.
How did you beat me at my own game?
You don't even like football.
-I love football! -[RUSSELL] Remy.
Why did you come here today?
Well, I... I wanted to get good at football
-so you'd be impressed. -[RUSSELL] What?
There are other ways to impress me than football.
-Dad. -Maybe you're right.
Remy, I owe you an apology.
Football is my life,
but it shouldn't have to be yours
if you want my attention.
You're incredible on the violin.
You ballroom dance like an angel.
And you're much better than I ever was at solving puzzles.
Beatin' me at this video game doesn't impress me.
You impress me. Now, I got something
I should've told you a long time ago.
Oh, my gosh!
[clears throat]
Great job, Champ! I'm proud of you.
Holy cow!
Thanks, Dad.
-[CRICKET whimpering] -Cricket, are you crying?
No! [sobbing]
It's so beautiful!
♪ I've got sweat in my eyes ♪
♪ Lost a bet and got bit by 100 flies ♪
♪ I fell out a big ol' tree ♪
♪ Hit every branch And scraped up both my knees ♪
♪ I got chased by a dog ♪
♪ Bit by a frog ♪
♪ Got a rash on my legs ♪
♪ Dropped a dozen eggs ♪
♪ I got splinters at seven and ten ♪
♪ And tomorrow I'll do it all again ♪