[theme song plays]
One, two, one, two, three, four!
[vocalizing]
[chicken clucks]
[thunder crashes]
[boy] I can't believe they canceled our game
-because of the rain. -Yeah.
-I mean, the bat's made of wood! -Yeah.
-And the ball's made out of wood. -Yeah... Wait.
-I don't think it is. -[gasps]
Is that the Swamp Witch's lair?
-[thunder crashes] -Sure is.
Uh, we better keep moving before she... Ah!
Oh, no, our ball!
Crud!
I guess you gotta go get it now.
-Me? You dropped it! -Fine! We'll both go.
Fine.
[both shuddering]
You know, I heard the Swamp Witch is actually the undead!
-Shh! -Do you see it?
Quiet! You'll wake the witch!
-[both gasp] -No trespassing!
[both] Swamp Witch! [screaming]
-[Gramma laughs] -[Bill] Ma, what are you doing?
Can't an old woman laugh in the rain once in a while?
[crowing]
Hey, Ma, about last night with those kids?
I wouldn't know what you're referring to.
[laughs] Plausible deniability, Gramma! You're wily.
-Hey, can I try eating a dozen eggs? -Sure, Tilly.
No, Tilly, we're not going through this again.
Ma, I'm serious.
Why'd you scare those kids like that?
Listen son, when y'all aren't looking,
I scare the daylight out of city folk!
I'm a rattlin' snake! I'm an open bear trap!
I'm the Swamp Witch of Big City,
-and I eat human bones! -Nope!
Holy toot!
Wait, is that why the neighbors don't come around?
Oh, we gotta fix this! Mm... Uh... I got it!
What if we throw a barbecue? We'll invite the whole neighborhood
and show them we're a nice family!
Grill up some of that Green family charm!
-What do you think, Till? -Oh, yeah, whatever you all think is best.
-Hoo-boy, a barbecue! Sounds... -Swamp Witch says no!
Ma, I don't get it. What's the worst that can happen?
What can happen? Random folks will start getting friendly.
Hello, I am a neighbor, and because you are in no way threatening,
-I thought I'd pop in. -[gasps]
-[shudders] -Well, that doesn't sound so bad.
You may like people hanging around, but I don't!
It's just who I am and I ain't compromising!
Too bad, we're doing it. How about you, Cricket?
-You love to barbecue. -Hm, interesting.
Which path will Cricket choose?
On one hand, I do like making new friends and eating hot dogs.
-But scaring folks is pretty funny... -Boo!
[laughs] Yeah, I'm with Gramma!
[laughs] Good boy. Now, let us recede.
[Gramma cackling]
Well, I'm excited for some new friends and hot dogs.
You're still with us, right, Tilly? Aw, come on.
Sorry, Papa, but I'm going for it.
-[sizzling] -[laughs]
I'm breaking out the funny apron.
It's important that we seem friendly, Bill, more than funny.
-Right you are, ex-wife. -Okay, also, don't call me that.
Now, let's get this barbecue started. Hey there, neighbor!
Come have a burger on us!
No way, I hear there's a Swamp Witch living here.
There's no Swamp Witch here! Just some nacho chips and fresh guac.
-Come on, let's go! -Hey, there! Feel free to help yourselves!
-No one's gonna eat ya! -Ha! It's too late, Billy boy,
the damage has been done!
Now, look, all this talk of witches is nonsense.
-We're just a regular family. -Well, what about her?
-Ah! -Hey, I get it.
Alice can be scary. But she isn't a witch,
she's more of a nice, regular old lady.
Gramma's like a pine cone. Spiky on the outside,
and equally spiky on the inside, but she sure is neat.
What we're trying to say is, no one here is a witch.
-So, who wants a burger? -[all] Sure! I do!
-Ugh, great. -Gramma, we've been waiting all afternoon.
When are we gonna start scaring people?
-Just as soon as I... Huh? -[door opens]
Hi! Don't mind us, we're just looking for the silverware.
Oh, now you've done it. Get back outside, you worms!
-What a cute living room! -Your home is lovely!
-Huh? -Rustic! Into it!
-This is a really nice fish. -You don't refrigerate your ketchup?
-[groaning] -Oh, found it!
Thanks so much, you guys are super-duper nice!
We'll have to pop in more often.
-What? -Pop in!
-No! -[slow-motion] Pop in!
Did you hear that? They want to pop in!
Get ready, Cricket. This Swamp Witch is going to a barbecue!
Here we go. The moment of truth.
Oh, yeah, there she is. The perfect criss-cross.
Everyone's gonna love this. [clears throat]
-Hey, uh, who wants a burger... -[Gramma cackles]
You absolute fools! I am the Swamp Witch!
And I have a spell for every day of the week!
Ya'll have the brass to trespass into my lair?
Oh, we were invited?
Then you have been invited into an open grave!
Hey, hey, hey! Over here. That's just my mom, she's being funny.
No, I'm not! You! You're cursed!
Imp, I summon thee!
Yes, Gramma... I mean, Dark One!
-Whoa! -Imp! Curse that nerd!
Yes, Dark One.
Ow. Hm?
"Your curs'd."
-Uh... -I'll take care of that.
Hang in there. One sec. Here.
"No, you're not cursed, have a burg' on me. Bill."
-You're Bill, right? -Fool! You're still cursed!
-Now, boy. -[grunting]
You're all cursed! [cackles]
[Gramma coughing] Where's that dang door?
I got it.
-She disappeared! -Holy smokes!
-She is a Swamp Witch! -They're really buying it?
Uh, hey! How about some refreshments to cool everyone down?
Uh, we got sun tea, store cola, lemonade...
[cackles] Refreshments, you say?
How about some devil's brew!
-Devil's brew? Really? -The brew of the devil!
Now, Imp, I demand you to drink of the brew to demonstrate its power!
As you wish, Dark One. Hup!
No, Cricket, that's barrel water.
Mm... uh! [shouting, gagging]
[gasps] Little boy! Are you all right?
-[shouting, babbling] -[screams]
[clucking like a chicken, moaning]
-[clucks] -She turned him into a chicken!
-He is beast now! -[screaming]
Ya don't drink barrel water.
Please, turn him back, we beg of you!
As you wish, mortal. Imp, I release you!
[Cricket] Psst! Come on!
I was animal in both body and mind, and it was misery!
-[grunts, laughs, coughs] -Seriously, Alice?
Okay, that's enough of this. I'm gonna leave,
-and I'm gonna call somebody. -Yeah, good idea.
No! You can't leave!
I swear, my ma's just being weird.
Please, just stay for a lemonade.
-Well... -[cackling]
-She is a witch! -I am a witch!
-What the heck? -[cackling]
If ya'll ever come back, I'll turn your guts into spiders! Uh-oh!
-Now what is she doing? -Dang it, those are my spare glasses.
-All right, she's dead! -All right!
Plan B, boy. Hey! I ain't dead!
-Swamp Witch can't die! -[screaming]
Wait! It was a kite! She... [sighs]
-Ma, how could you? -I could 'cause I can.
And trust me, they'll think twice before they come back here again.
[neighbor] We've thought about it.
And we'd like to buy these pitch forks and torches, please.
Y'all were really great.
Here's something for your troubles.
Whoa! Huh? What is that noise?
-Yeah, what is that? -Hmm...
Hey the neighbors are coming back! They must've changed their...
-[indistinct shouting] -Oh, my gosh, that's a mob.
-Uh-oh. -Oh, this ain't good!
Destroy the witch and her monstrous family!
[all shouting]
Stay back, you beast! Back! Back!
-[Bill] Everyone inside! -[shouting]
-[grunts, shouts] -[squealing]
-Take this! -[screams]
No more witches! No more witches!
-No more witches! -Wait! You've got it all wrong!
Bill, they ain't gonna listen to reason! Come on!
Ah! [grunts] They think we're monsters.
Hoo-wee! An angry mob! I did not expect that.
I've never gotten them this stirred up before.
-Okay, so what's the plan? -Ah, give them a little time.
They'll cool down, and then we'll never have another neighbor bother us again.
Right. They'll stop being angry and go back to being afraid.
Can't even have a neighborhood barbecue.
Why're you all sad? Things'll go back to normal.
What about you, boy? I thought you were on my side.
I... didn't think it would get this bad, Gramma.
Something about them threatening our lives makes it a lot less funny.
Huh? [groans]
No more witches! No more...
-The Dark One herself! -Everyone get her!
-Gramma, what're you... -Halt!
People that live near us, I have something to show you!
Something I've kept hidden from you all these years.
I don't really follow, Gramma. What're you...
-Mwah! -Ah! Gramma! No!
-Not in front of all these people! -Come here,
-you little sugar booger! -Ah!
I'm not a witch, I'm a regular gramma!
-Ma, what're you doing? -Please, Gramma, you're too young to die!
-Oh, uh, actually... -Shut yer yaps, all of ya!
Y'all looked like a bunch of sad losers in there,
and I realized I can't just think of myself anymore.
I've got to compromise and do what's best for all of you.
-And sometimes Nancy. -Hey, I'll take it.
I wanna make things right with the neighbors,
so y'all can feel like part of the community or whatever.
Aw, Ma, that's really nice of you.
-Yeah, well, I care about ya. -[all] Aw!
-You're a regular gramma! -You're just like my gramma!
Can we play sometime, old lady?
[shuddering] See what I do for you all?
Hey, what do you say we get back to having a barbecue!
Hey, nice criss-cross!
[giggling]
Oh, can I try some of that barrel water?
[Tilly] You don't drink barrel water!
[kite cackling]
Look at her go, Remy!
Swift, majestic, unsinkable!
Oh, it sank. RIP, tiny sailors.
Hey, Cricket, look at that!
Huh? Why are people throwin' their money away?
Whoa, I didn't know money came in coin form!
Gee, how much do you think is in there, Cricket?
I don't know, but I'm about to find out!
-I'm swimmin' in moolah! -[officer] Halt, child!
You can't take these coins. You'd be stealing wishes.
Wishes? Explain yourself.
Well, people toss money in fountains and make a wish.
I always make the same wish.
I wish I could fly.
Do the wishes ever come true?
-Not yet, but here's hoping. -But who keeps the money?
Yeah, answer the question, lawman!
Hm, I suppose whoever owns the fountain.
Sounds like a pretty good racket.
Yeah, I bet that person is rich!
[echoing] Rich... rich...
Bingo-bango.
Sorry Remy! I gotta go!
Okay, cool! I guess, um...
I'll just go home too, then.
Come one, come all! Your wildest dreams will come true
once you visit Cricket's Wonderful Well-O-Wishin'!
-[pig oinking] -Ah! Here's some well-wishers now!
Step right up and make a wish! The more you spend, the bigger the wish!
-Okay! -Oh, no, no, sweetie.
That's where wishes go to die.
-Aw, come on! Take a chance! -I don't think so.
-Nah, brah. -[snorts]
You too, pig? Hm. This business venture may be a lost cause.
-[splashing] -Huh?
Whoa, whoa, Tilly. What're you doing?
I'm making a wish.
And I figured if your wishing well
was even half as magical as you say it is,
then my wish is sure to come true.
-Is that all your money? -[laughs] Of course not.
There. That's all my money.
Now, to wait for my wish to be granted.
-[humming tune] -I'm rich! I'm rich!
With Tilly's money.
I don't normally like to do this, but I gotta ask myself,
what's the right thing to do? [straining]
-Take the dang money, man! -Hm?
-Hiya! -Ah! A devil! A devil!
Return from whence you came!
Whoa! Calm down, buddy. I'm just a friend.
Friend? But you look like a dadgum devil!
Oh, these are just my jammies.
I'm here because you needed help making the right decision.
Oh, well, that's good. I could use some guidance.
Say, isn't there supposed to be a little angel fella?
Ba-ba-ba-ba! Focus on the here and now.
Concerning Tilly's money, it's perfectly fine for you to keep it.
-After all, she gave it to you. -What you're saying certainly makes sense.
I know! Don't over-think this one, big guy.
-You earned it. -[laughs] I did, didn't I?
Now, what can two handsome devils do with this newfound fortune?
[both] Mm!
[wild music pumping]
-[bell ringing] -[video game beeping]
[futuristic music plays]
[music continues]
Hey, y'all! Wish me happy birthday!
-[all] Happy birthday! -It's not even my birthday!
-Cricket! Cricket! -Kid, you're on a roll.
[devil] Betcha can't throw two balls at once.
Ha, watch and learn, little guy! [grunting]
-[voice] Cricket Green, how could you! -Wha--gah!
-[laughs, grunts] -Ah! It felt like someone
-just shouted right in my ear! -[screams]
-Uh... -[choral music stops and starts]
-[gasping] -Ah!
[grunting] I never thought I'd make it out!
-[crashing] -Uh, what just crawled outta my body?
I did! Come on, seriously? It's hard wearing white.
Oh, great, here comes King of the Killjoys.
Cricket Green, I can't believe you swindled your dear, sweet sister!
That was like two hours ago. Why didn't you show up then?
Ha! I would have if somebody hadn't hogtied me
-and left me for the dogs! -[slurping] Mm-mm-mm.
Anyway, scamming your sister is the lowest of the low.
However, it's not too late for you, Cricket.
You can still return the money, and all will be forgiven.
Eh, that might be hard to do. I've only got one quarter left.
Well, I suppose one quarter is a start... Wait, what're you doing?
-No, Cricket, no! -[chewing] Yay!
-[stammering] Ah! -[laughs] That's my boy.
You're a monster! And you! You're on your way to becoming a monster!
-Oh! Come on! -Take heed, Cricket Green.
Is this really who you wanna be?
If you don't make things right with your sister,
I'm gonna annoy you till the end of time!
I'll pull your toes when you're trying to sleep!
I'll chew on yer ears! And I'll make weird noises!
Ahh-ooga-laga-laga-laga-laga! And I'll punch your butt!
Hey, that's my personal area. You're really getting on my nerves!
Oh, you want me to leave, huh? Then earn back Tilly's money,
and I'll be gone lickety-split. Now, get to work filling this jar!
[groans] Fine!
[music plays]
-All right! -Half full! Time for a break!
No, half empty. Get back to work!
It seems the fountain has absorbed my coins.
Which means the time is nigh for my wish to come true.
All right, Angel.
When I give Tilly's money back, you're outta here, right?
Once you've righted your wrongs, I say adios.
That's all I needed to hear.
Hey, Tilly. Uh, here's your money back.
I figured you could use it for something more worthwhile.
This time don't spend it all in one place, you hear?
[laughs]
Ah! Done and done! Goodbye, annoying angel.
[coins rattling]
Uh, Tilly? Didn't you hear what I just said?
Yes, I did. But I can't think of anything better I'd like to buy than a wish.
Okay, Tilly. I gotta come clean.
What is it, Cricket?
Actually, you might find this a little funny.
[laughs] Yeah, I think you'll be laughing when you hear this one.
-Sounds pretty good. [laughs] -[both laugh]
The fountain is a scam! I did it to make some quick money!
[laughs]
I fail to see the humor, brother.
So where does this leave the status of my requested wish?
Well, Tilly, your wish ain't coming true.
Uh, but maybe it'll come true on its own! What'd you wish for?
I wished that I could touch a rainbow.
Okay. Cool, cool, cool, cool. Cool.
I wished, if only for a second, to be a part of nature's most fleeting beauty.
Everyone has seen a rainbow. But I wanted to touch one.
To feel it. Is it warm or chilly?
Soft or surprisingly coarse? I guess I'll never know.
-Hey, you forgot your money! -Keep it.
Money's nothing compared to the promise of a wish.
Wow. Just wow.
I hope you're proud of yourself!
You again? I thought I got rid of you.
-Yeah! What the heck, dude? -Oh, hey, buddy.
-Wassup? -Well, Cricket.
I said I'd leave you alone once you made things right.
And things are far from right!
Eh! He tried his best.
Did you see the look on Tilly's face?
She can't get any sadder. He should just keep the money.
-[gasps] No, he should not! -Yes, he should!
-No, he shouldn't! -Guys, quiet down!
I can't hear myself think!
-Cricket, listen to me. -No, listen to me!
-[both yelling] I said be quiet!
[silence]
-Ahh. That's better. -[angel] Cricket!
Don't listen to him! I'm trying to help you!
Ha! Time to shut you up for good!
-[grunting] That doesn't feel good. -[zapping]
-This time it's gonna be my way! -Ah!
[grunting] It's dark! Who turned off the sun?
-Take that and that and that! -[zapping]
When in disgrace with fortune and men's eyes, I, all alone,
beweep my outcast state.
Come back here, you! Huh? Come out, come out, wherever you are! Ah!
♪ Oh, never forgetty to eat your spaghetti ♪
♪ And you'll be a shining star ♪
-Here, have a light! -Ah! Hot, hot, hot!
Well, well, well. Ain't this a glorious sight.
How the righteous have fallen.
Cricket! I know we don't get along great,
but you shouldn't do the right thing to get rid of me!
-Hey! Let go! -You should do it for your sister!
[both shouting]
[gasps] Angel's right! Tried to escape my own guilt.
Forgot about Tilly's feelings! I gotta make this right.
Tilly deserves it!
[sighs] Have you ever had a wish, ladybug?
Well, you should give up on it. Take it from me,
a washed up old hag with a wish and nothing to show for it.
-[Cricket] Tilly! -What now?
I had to make a choice today about who I am.
And cheatin' you, well, that's not who I wanna be.
-This is who I wanna be! [panting] -Cricket, what are you doing?
-Hey! Get outta that fountain! -Ah!
-[grunting] -Get back here, please!
[Cricket panting]
-What is he doing? -Officer Keys, wait!
-Oh, yes? -Make a wish.
Oh, joy!
I wish I could fly!
-Huh? Aw! -[laughs]
-Cricket, I don't understand! -[rumbling]
Tilly Green, I'm gonna make your wish come true!
[shouting]
-Wow! -[grunting]
Oof! -I'm doing it, Ma! I'm flying!
Oof!
[gasps]
I can feel every color!
It's... oh...
it's everything I ever dreamed!
[gasping, coughing, groans] Huh?
That was the nicest thing you ever did for me.
Glad you liked it, Tilly.
That wish was worth every penny.
And nickel and dime and quarter.
Well, looks like our job here is done.
-Till next time, eh? -Till next time.
Headin' home.
Here we go!
♪ I got sweat in my eyes ♪
♪ Lost a bet and got ♪
♪ Bit by 100 flies ♪
♪ I fell out a big old tree ♪
♪ Hit every branch and scraped up both my knees ♪
♪ I got chased by dogs Bit by a frog ♪
♪ Got a rash on my legs Dropped a dozen eggs ♪
♪ I got splinters in seven of ten ♪
♪ And tomorrow I'll do it all again ♪