1 00:00:32,449 --> 00:00:35,076 Good to be back with my family. 2 00:00:35,160 --> 00:00:36,786 Now that you've joined us in the country, Ma, 3 00:00:36,870 --> 00:00:38,413 I think it's time to give you and Remy 4 00:00:38,413 --> 00:00:40,040 a tour of downtown Smalton. 5 00:00:40,040 --> 00:00:44,377 I can't wait. Downtown Smalton sounds so cosmopolitan. 6 00:00:44,461 --> 00:00:47,047 Oh, you bet it's-- whatever that word is. 7 00:00:47,047 --> 00:00:49,299 Oh, we're turning onto Main Street now. 8 00:00:49,299 --> 00:00:51,593 Welcome to downtown Smalton! 9 00:00:51,593 --> 00:00:54,262 And... that's it. 10 00:00:54,262 --> 00:00:56,890 Okay, everyone out. Stretch your legs. 11 00:00:56,890 --> 00:00:58,725 Oh, Gramma, I'm so happy 12 00:00:58,725 --> 00:01:01,352 {\an8}you came all the way out here just to visit us. 13 00:01:01,436 --> 00:01:04,272 {\an8}Darn tootin'. Who's going to look after y'all if I don't? 14 00:01:04,272 --> 00:01:07,567 Indeed. It'll be great to have you around again. 15 00:01:07,567 --> 00:01:08,818 Sheesh. 16 00:01:08,902 --> 00:01:10,528 You've been starving since I was gone? 17 00:01:10,612 --> 00:01:12,363 Come on, why don't we head out 18 00:01:12,447 --> 00:01:13,823 and I'll make you your favorite pie? 19 00:01:13,907 --> 00:01:15,700 Actually, Gramma, you're in luck. 20 00:01:15,784 --> 00:01:18,286 - We can eat here. - Patti's Diner? 21 00:01:18,286 --> 00:01:21,331 You're going to love it. Patti's an amazing baker. 22 00:01:21,331 --> 00:01:23,166 Patti, huh? 23 00:01:23,166 --> 00:01:26,544 Take it in, Remy. Welcome to Patti's Diner. 24 00:01:26,628 --> 00:01:28,963 The beating heart of downtown Smalton. 25 00:01:29,047 --> 00:01:32,801 It's got everything! Fine dining, live entertainment, 26 00:01:32,801 --> 00:01:34,427 fascinating locals... 27 00:01:34,511 --> 00:01:36,096 And there's even a gift shop! 28 00:01:36,096 --> 00:01:39,349 Ooh! I've been meaning to get a country souvenir for Vasquez. 29 00:01:39,349 --> 00:01:41,643 - I'm gonna go check it out. - You do you, Remy. 30 00:01:41,643 --> 00:01:43,353 Should I try the triple bacon burger, 31 00:01:43,353 --> 00:01:45,939 or should I go healthy and do the double bacon burger? 32 00:01:45,939 --> 00:01:48,149 Gramma, you must meet the owner, Patti. 33 00:01:48,233 --> 00:01:50,443 She bakes the best blueberry pie. 34 00:01:50,527 --> 00:01:51,945 "The best"? 35 00:01:51,945 --> 00:01:55,532 But nothing beats my classic homemade pie, right? 36 00:01:55,532 --> 00:01:57,784 Booths are for paying customers only. 37 00:01:57,784 --> 00:01:58,868 Patti! 38 00:01:58,952 --> 00:02:00,578 Long time no see, Tilly. 39 00:02:00,662 --> 00:02:01,996 You still remember our handshake? 40 00:02:02,080 --> 00:02:03,248 How can I forget? 41 00:02:05,959 --> 00:02:07,710 - Oh, yeah! - Yeah! 42 00:02:08,878 --> 00:02:10,296 - Ring, ring. - Hello? 43 00:02:10,380 --> 00:02:11,339 Wink! 44 00:02:13,258 --> 00:02:16,052 It's good to see the Green family again. 45 00:02:16,136 --> 00:02:18,513 And pardon my manners. Tilly, I didn't know 46 00:02:18,513 --> 00:02:20,306 you had a twin sister. 47 00:02:20,390 --> 00:02:23,226 Oh, Patti, this is my gramma. 48 00:02:23,226 --> 00:02:25,395 You've got some wonderful grandkids. 49 00:02:25,395 --> 00:02:28,314 Can I arm wrestle you for them? Ha! I'm just kidding. 50 00:02:28,398 --> 00:02:30,358 I will destroy this woman. 51 00:02:30,358 --> 00:02:32,861 All right, lay it on me. What are we eating today? 52 00:02:32,861 --> 00:02:34,696 I'll start. I think I'll try the-- 53 00:02:34,696 --> 00:02:35,947 Uhp-bup-bup! Wayne! 54 00:02:36,239 --> 00:02:37,907 As soon as I saw you all come in, 55 00:02:37,991 --> 00:02:40,076 I went ahead and started making your usual. 56 00:02:40,160 --> 00:02:43,079 An open-faced liverwurst sandwich, extra cold. 57 00:02:43,163 --> 00:02:45,248 Oh, my usual. 58 00:02:45,248 --> 00:02:46,541 You remembered. 59 00:02:46,541 --> 00:02:48,710 You have a "usual"? I want one! 60 00:02:48,710 --> 00:02:51,087 Hey, Patti Cakes. My usual, please. 61 00:02:51,171 --> 00:02:52,547 You don't have a usual. 62 00:02:52,547 --> 00:02:55,675 And if you ever call me "Patti Cakes" again, 63 00:02:55,675 --> 00:02:57,051 you never will. 64 00:02:57,135 --> 00:02:58,928 Okay, what else we havin'? 65 00:02:59,012 --> 00:03:01,014 That's tummy talk 66 00:03:01,014 --> 00:03:03,433 for one slice of blueberry pie, please. 67 00:03:03,433 --> 00:03:05,852 Ah, starting with dessert. I love it. 68 00:03:05,852 --> 00:03:07,645 Miss Patti, another customer just ordered 69 00:03:07,729 --> 00:03:09,522 the last slice of blueberry pie. 70 00:03:09,606 --> 00:03:11,024 Ain't that a shame? 71 00:03:11,024 --> 00:03:12,358 Well, let's go home 72 00:03:12,442 --> 00:03:13,860 and I'll whip you up your favorite. 73 00:03:13,860 --> 00:03:15,361 Oh, heck. For you, Tilly, 74 00:03:15,445 --> 00:03:16,905 I'll bake a new pie from scratch. 75 00:03:16,905 --> 00:03:19,657 Splendid. It'll be worth the wait. 76 00:03:19,741 --> 00:03:21,659 And what can I get for you, ma'am? 77 00:03:21,743 --> 00:03:23,203 I've lost my appetite. 78 00:03:23,203 --> 00:03:26,789 And I'll have the meat-wich, aka, my "usual." 79 00:03:26,873 --> 00:03:30,168 Got it. One meat-wich coming right up. 80 00:03:30,168 --> 00:03:33,171 It's not a usual if she has to write it down. 81 00:03:33,171 --> 00:03:36,466 Son, having a usual isn't all it's cracked up to be. 82 00:03:36,466 --> 00:03:39,552 When I first came here, I ordered a liverwurst sandwich, 83 00:03:39,636 --> 00:03:42,138 and I never had the heart to tell Patti I hated it. 84 00:03:42,222 --> 00:03:44,474 They just kept coming and coming. 85 00:03:44,474 --> 00:03:46,434 Now I'm locked in. 86 00:03:46,434 --> 00:03:49,312 Well, I'd be upset, too, if my usual was liverwurst, 87 00:03:49,312 --> 00:03:51,606 but a meat-wich is meat-tastic. 88 00:03:51,606 --> 00:03:53,858 - I'll be fine. - Sure you will, son. 89 00:03:53,942 --> 00:03:55,485 Sure you will. 90 00:03:55,485 --> 00:03:56,903 Ah, let's see. 91 00:03:56,903 --> 00:03:59,906 Valentino, Vance, Vanessa, Vosco. 92 00:03:59,906 --> 00:04:01,908 What? No Vasquez? 93 00:04:01,908 --> 00:04:03,910 Darn! Well, no matter. 94 00:04:03,910 --> 00:04:05,536 There's plenty of stuff here for me to choose from. 95 00:04:05,620 --> 00:04:07,914 I'm sure I'll find the perfect gift for Vasquez. 96 00:04:07,914 --> 00:04:09,332 Hmm. 97 00:04:09,332 --> 00:04:11,793 This keychain is perfect for holding my keys. 98 00:04:13,378 --> 00:04:16,339 This mug is perfect for holding liquids. 99 00:04:18,216 --> 00:04:22,011 This pen is perfect for defending you from bad guys. 100 00:04:22,095 --> 00:04:23,888 Hyah! 101 00:04:24,138 --> 00:04:28,142 Oh! There are just too many good choices! 102 00:04:28,476 --> 00:04:30,687 Here you go. One meat-wich. 103 00:04:31,813 --> 00:04:33,940 Mm. My usual looks mighty fine. 104 00:04:33,940 --> 00:04:36,192 And, Tilly, I'm going to get started on your blueberry pie. 105 00:04:36,276 --> 00:04:38,194 Oh, I can hardly wait. 106 00:04:38,278 --> 00:04:41,698 Patti's pies are nothing short of a spiritual experience. 107 00:04:41,698 --> 00:04:43,616 She might just be my favorite baker. 108 00:04:43,700 --> 00:04:45,576 Your favorite baker? Huh. 109 00:04:45,660 --> 00:04:48,121 You know, since you love her pie so much, 110 00:04:48,121 --> 00:04:50,790 I'm, uh, gonna go see how she does it. 111 00:04:50,790 --> 00:04:52,083 They're gonna be friends. 112 00:04:52,083 --> 00:04:53,960 Wayne, you seen my rolling pin? 113 00:04:53,960 --> 00:04:55,378 Huh? 114 00:04:55,378 --> 00:04:57,297 I don't know you, and I don't like you. 115 00:04:57,297 --> 00:05:00,216 - Okay. - Now my Tilly seems to be mistaken 116 00:05:00,300 --> 00:05:02,719 - about who makes the best pie. - Okay. 117 00:05:02,719 --> 00:05:05,805 So I challenge you to a pie bake off! 118 00:05:05,805 --> 00:05:07,890 Then we'll see whose pie she likes more. 119 00:05:07,974 --> 00:05:10,351 Are you sure you want to challenge me? 120 00:05:12,186 --> 00:05:14,439 The only reason you won all them competitions 121 00:05:14,439 --> 00:05:16,190 is because I wasn't there. 122 00:05:16,274 --> 00:05:19,652 But I'm here now, so preheat your oven! 123 00:05:19,736 --> 00:05:21,446 You're on. 124 00:05:24,449 --> 00:05:26,659 How's your usual treating you, sir? 125 00:05:26,743 --> 00:05:29,662 - So good. - I'll leave you to it, then. 126 00:05:29,746 --> 00:05:32,790 Wait, wait, wait. Aren't you going to ask me about my usual? 127 00:05:32,874 --> 00:05:34,792 I've never seen you order a usual. 128 00:05:34,876 --> 00:05:37,045 In fact, I've never seen you. 129 00:05:37,045 --> 00:05:39,005 I'm new. My name's Wayne. 130 00:05:39,005 --> 00:05:41,299 Well, then, (sighs) Wayne. 131 00:05:41,299 --> 00:05:42,800 It's short for "Duh-wayne." 132 00:05:42,884 --> 00:05:47,972 Right. I'll have another meat-wich, aka, my usual. 133 00:05:48,056 --> 00:05:50,433 - One... meat... - Ah, ah, ah! 134 00:05:50,433 --> 00:05:51,809 The whole point of a usual 135 00:05:51,893 --> 00:05:53,436 is that you don't have to write it down. 136 00:05:53,436 --> 00:05:55,813 You just remember what I want. 137 00:05:55,897 --> 00:05:59,150 Don't. Don't write it. 138 00:05:59,150 --> 00:06:00,276 Wayne... 139 00:06:01,736 --> 00:06:03,571 I'm just gonna draw a picture. 140 00:06:03,571 --> 00:06:05,823 Look, man, you're confused. 141 00:06:05,907 --> 00:06:09,035 Just think: meat-wich. Meat-wich. 142 00:06:09,035 --> 00:06:12,163 Which meat? Meat-wich! Got it?! 143 00:06:12,163 --> 00:06:14,248 - Okay. - Great. 144 00:06:14,332 --> 00:06:15,625 Is he gone? 145 00:06:15,625 --> 00:06:17,460 I got to get this out of my mouth. 146 00:06:17,460 --> 00:06:18,920 Gross, Dad. 147 00:06:22,507 --> 00:06:24,342 Gotta get that crust nice and flaky, 148 00:06:24,342 --> 00:06:25,843 just the way Tilly likes it. 149 00:06:28,054 --> 00:06:30,848 Aw, blort. She's a pie-makin' machine. 150 00:06:30,932 --> 00:06:34,435 Oh, Tilly, you deserve the best pie 151 00:06:34,519 --> 00:06:36,270 to fill your empty little tum-tum. 152 00:06:36,354 --> 00:06:37,939 I wish I could compete. 153 00:06:37,939 --> 00:06:40,400 And I will, because I make Tilly's 154 00:06:40,400 --> 00:06:43,861 favorite pie and she needs me! I hope. 155 00:06:43,945 --> 00:06:45,238 You're gonna keep mumbling to yourself, 156 00:06:45,238 --> 00:06:46,864 or are you actually going to bake? 157 00:06:46,948 --> 00:06:48,282 I'd be more concerned about 158 00:06:48,366 --> 00:06:50,618 that shabby crimping technique you got going on. 159 00:06:50,618 --> 00:06:52,870 Clearly, you don't know what you're talking about, 160 00:06:52,954 --> 00:06:55,248 given that you're practically juicing those berries. 161 00:06:55,248 --> 00:06:56,833 You ain't never had a juicy pie? 162 00:06:56,833 --> 00:06:58,876 You can talk all you want, 163 00:06:58,960 --> 00:07:00,586 but we'll see who's really the best. 164 00:07:00,670 --> 00:07:02,463 Sure will, 165 00:07:02,547 --> 00:07:06,217 because it's time to put these babies in the oven. 166 00:07:06,217 --> 00:07:08,719 Need pie. 167 00:07:08,803 --> 00:07:10,054 I feel you, sister. 168 00:07:10,138 --> 00:07:12,723 I can't believe I'm still waiting for my second usual. 169 00:07:12,807 --> 00:07:14,559 - Where's Wayne? - Here. 170 00:07:14,559 --> 00:07:17,895 So, uh, don't get mad or nothing, 171 00:07:17,979 --> 00:07:20,231 but I was having trouble remembering your usual. 172 00:07:20,231 --> 00:07:22,108 It just flew right out of my head. 173 00:07:22,108 --> 00:07:23,943 I tried thinking of what you said, 174 00:07:23,943 --> 00:07:26,946 something about which meat... which is the meat-- 175 00:07:26,946 --> 00:07:28,906 The meat-wich, Wayne! 176 00:07:28,990 --> 00:07:31,868 I couldn't remember, so I brought you this! 177 00:07:31,868 --> 00:07:34,287 - Wayne! - Son, be patient with him. 178 00:07:34,287 --> 00:07:37,206 That's the face of a man who's doing the best he can. 179 00:07:37,290 --> 00:07:39,500 I'm sorry. I'm afraid my brain 180 00:07:39,584 --> 00:07:41,544 can't hold nothing more than a tune. 181 00:07:41,544 --> 00:07:44,130 Oh, "a tune"? Like a song? That's perfect. 182 00:07:44,130 --> 00:07:45,923 Maybe this little diddy will help 183 00:07:46,007 --> 00:07:47,550 you remember my usual. 184 00:07:47,550 --> 00:07:50,928 ♪ Meat-wich! Meat-wich Turkey and pastrami ♪ 185 00:07:51,012 --> 00:07:53,806 ♪ Roast beef and salami It's a taste tsunami ♪ 186 00:07:53,890 --> 00:07:56,851 ♪ Only someone delusional Wouldn't know it's my usual ♪ 187 00:07:56,851 --> 00:08:00,146 ♪ Meat-wich! Meat-wich Turkey and pastrami ♪ 188 00:08:02,148 --> 00:08:03,024 -♪ Roast beef and salami ♪ -♪ It's a taste tsunami ♪ 189 00:08:03,024 --> 00:08:07,195 ♪ Only someone delusional Wouldn't know it's my usual ♪ 190 00:08:07,195 --> 00:08:09,197 - Yeah! - Wait, where'd Wayne go? 191 00:08:09,197 --> 00:08:12,700 Meat-wich! Meat-wich, only someone delusional 192 00:08:12,700 --> 00:08:14,660 wouldn't know it's your usual. 193 00:08:14,744 --> 00:08:16,496 Thank you for helping me remember. 194 00:08:19,040 --> 00:08:20,124 Ahh...! 195 00:08:20,208 --> 00:08:23,044 Cricket Green has a usual! 196 00:08:23,044 --> 00:08:24,504 Yeah! 197 00:08:24,504 --> 00:08:26,506 Okay. Since I can't decide on what souvenir 198 00:08:26,506 --> 00:08:27,965 Vasquez would like the most, 199 00:08:28,049 --> 00:08:31,093 I have decided to buy everything! 200 00:08:31,177 --> 00:08:32,845 Do you offer gift-wrapping service? 201 00:08:34,222 --> 00:08:37,475 Well, Patti Cakes, you played a good game, 202 00:08:37,475 --> 00:08:39,310 but it looks like it's all over. 203 00:08:39,310 --> 00:08:41,979 Now that's a smell of victory. 204 00:08:42,063 --> 00:08:45,942 Nice effort, but, uh, here's the real masterpiece. 205 00:08:45,942 --> 00:08:48,444 Yeah, well, looks are only crusty. 206 00:08:48,528 --> 00:08:49,862 Here, try it for yourself. 207 00:08:51,072 --> 00:08:52,865 Mm. 208 00:08:55,993 --> 00:08:59,580 ♪ Pie-pie-pie! ♪ 209 00:08:59,664 --> 00:09:02,416 ♪ Pie-pie-pie! ♪ 210 00:09:02,500 --> 00:09:04,168 Oh, wow! 211 00:09:04,418 --> 00:09:06,379 Ahh! (grunts) Where am I? 212 00:09:06,379 --> 00:09:09,006 Did you leave your body and go to Pie Valhalla? 213 00:09:09,090 --> 00:09:10,967 My baking seems to do that to folks. 214 00:09:10,967 --> 00:09:14,011 This is bad. If Tilly compares our two pies, 215 00:09:14,095 --> 00:09:16,806 she's never gonna need me to bake for her again. 216 00:09:16,806 --> 00:09:20,851 So... I can't let Tilly eat that pie! 217 00:09:20,935 --> 00:09:23,062 - I'm gonna smash that pie! - I will break you, woman! 218 00:09:26,816 --> 00:09:27,900 Yahh! 219 00:09:27,984 --> 00:09:29,819 Oh. 220 00:09:29,819 --> 00:09:31,654 Ha! You're gonna have to do better than that 221 00:09:31,654 --> 00:09:32,989 if you want to beat... Uh-oh. 222 00:09:32,989 --> 00:09:34,323 Yahh! 223 00:09:34,407 --> 00:09:36,075 My water! 224 00:09:36,075 --> 00:09:39,078 Gramma? Patti? What are you doing? 225 00:09:39,078 --> 00:09:41,664 Tilly! I challenged Patti to a pie-off 226 00:09:41,664 --> 00:09:44,000 because you were gushing about how good hers was. 227 00:09:44,000 --> 00:09:45,835 But I make your favorite sweets, 228 00:09:45,835 --> 00:09:48,087 and I'm the one who's supposed to provide for ya. 229 00:09:48,087 --> 00:09:50,006 You like my pie better, don't you? 230 00:09:50,006 --> 00:09:51,257 Uh, Gramma... 231 00:09:51,257 --> 00:09:52,675 Hey, guys, do you think we have room 232 00:09:52,675 --> 00:09:53,843 in the Kludge for all of this? 233 00:09:53,843 --> 00:09:55,845 Whoa! Oh, no! 234 00:09:55,845 --> 00:09:57,013 The pie! 235 00:09:58,973 --> 00:09:59,849 Yahh! 236 00:10:03,311 --> 00:10:06,397 You sacrificed your pie... to save mine? 237 00:10:06,397 --> 00:10:08,482 I'll be honest. I got jealous 238 00:10:08,566 --> 00:10:10,776 when Tilly said you were her favorite baker. 239 00:10:10,860 --> 00:10:12,361 She's out here in the country now, 240 00:10:12,445 --> 00:10:13,863 and things are changing, 241 00:10:13,863 --> 00:10:16,532 and I was scared she wouldn't need me anymore. 242 00:10:16,616 --> 00:10:19,702 But regardless, she deserves her favorite pie. 243 00:10:19,702 --> 00:10:21,662 Oh, Gramma, I'll always need you. 244 00:10:21,746 --> 00:10:22,830 Huh? 245 00:10:22,830 --> 00:10:24,498 You don't have to bake my favorite pie 246 00:10:24,582 --> 00:10:26,876 to be my favorite Gramma. I love you. 247 00:10:26,876 --> 00:10:29,170 Well, now that we all agree my pie is the best, 248 00:10:29,170 --> 00:10:30,588 why don't you all dig in? 249 00:10:30,588 --> 00:10:31,922 - Yeah! - Swell. 250 00:10:32,006 --> 00:10:33,215 Not you, Wayne. 251 00:10:33,299 --> 00:10:36,135 Ow, ow! Help! Just kiddin'. 252 00:10:36,135 --> 00:10:37,428 Here you go, Tilly. 253 00:10:37,428 --> 00:10:39,472 I cut you a piece with your eyeball. 254 00:10:39,472 --> 00:10:40,931 Thank you, Gramma. 255 00:10:41,015 --> 00:10:42,725 Oh, I love pie. 256 00:10:42,725 --> 00:10:45,102 Tell you the truth, two meat-wiches was too many. 257 00:10:45,186 --> 00:10:46,520 I'm pretty over my usual. 258 00:10:46,604 --> 00:10:48,105 Uh-uh! There's no way 259 00:10:48,189 --> 00:10:50,441 I'm letting you eat dessert before you clean your plate. 260 00:10:50,441 --> 00:10:52,109 I tried to tell you, son. 261 00:10:52,193 --> 00:10:54,904 Having a usual is a prison with no escape. 262 00:10:54,904 --> 00:10:57,073 And now we're in it together.