[ Suspenseful music playing ]
[ Snakes rattling ]
- [ Growling ]
- [ Gasping ]
Aah!
[ Cellphone rings ]
- Find anything of note out
there?
- No.
- What?!
- Just a floating baby head.
- Whoa.
- We need to get you on the
corner of 4th and Oxford.
It's a hot-streets case.
Please use discretion.
- I guess we should check out
that other thing.
- Shouldn't we check this out?
Get tissue, fluid samples?
I mean, what do we do with --
- You always overthink things.
It's a floating baby head.
It's not going anywhere.
- Mm-hmm.
♪♪
- Another one without a body.
This is a hot-street case, so
you can't talk about it, huh?
- Who could do such a thing?
- I'm not sure.
I'm Special Agent Baranski, and
this is my partner --
- Hey!
- ...Forensic Expert French.
- What are you doing?
- From the stretching of the
skin and the flexion fracture of
the spine, looks like the head
was ripped off.
- It's clearly a human head
identified by the human ears,
skin, human eyes, and human
teeth.
Kill by a monster or something.
- [ Growling ]
[ People screaming ]
- Aah!
- [ Whimpers ]
- [ Growls ]
- Let's use my truth serum
formula.
Interrogate them.
- There you go overthinking
things again.
Let's just punch them.
- If you say so.
- [ Growling ]
- Aaaah!
Maybe we should just shoot them.
[ Guns clicking ]
- [ Growls ]
[ Maniacal laugh ]
[ Growls ]
- See?
That was easy.
- Aah!
♪♪
- How you holding up, Jen?
I want you to know you can stay
with me as long as you need.
- Thanks, Uncle Mark.
I still can't believe Mom's
gone.
You're my last living relative.
- And I'm not going anywhere.
By the way, yesterday I was
diagnosed with a brain tumor and
I'm gonna die.
- What?!
- I've got about a week, and
you'll have to move out when
that happens.
You'll be homeless.
- Uncle Mark!
- I don't have a will, so, uh,
take my futuristic FBI computer
phone.
It's pretty cool.
- Wait.
Aren't you investigating brain
monsters right now, and you have
a brain tumor?
Maybe there's a connection.
- Jen, everybody gets brain
tumors eventually.
That's life.
- There has got to be something
you can do.
- I was referred to a surgeon,
but I'm kind of busy right now
chasing monsters and stuff.
Maybe I'll see her later.
- Now!
Please!
- I'll take care of it later.
All right, all right, I'll visit
the brain surgeon.
La-a-te-e-r!
- And your phone, I-I can't --
- Oh, there's some NSA-type
programs on that thing.
You probably shouldn't use
those.
[ Door opens ]
- Wait!
[ Door closes ]
If Uncle Mark dies, I'll be all
alone.
- [ Whimpering ]
- I get it.
You love me.
Who cares? You're just a dog.
- [ Sighs ]
- Huh.
- Pretty dry on brain monster
leads.
- Yeah, maybe we should take a
break and get some brain surgery
or something.
Dr. Steven Davis referred me for
brain stuff.
- [ Growls ]
- Agent Baranski, we've been
expecting you.
Welcome to our facility.
I'm Dr. Jane Brainbrook, and I
will be performing your surgery.
- She's the surgeon?
She's beautiful.
- I think she looks like shit.
- Well, now that you mention
it, she does look like shit.
- I've cloned a small piece of
your cerebellum.
It needs to gestate in your
neck.
- There are two surgeries.
First she's going to grow a new
piece of brain in your neck.
Then she's going to implant it
inside your head, replacing the
area affected by the tumor.
Sounds sketchy.
We should get a second opinion.
- You're just overthinking
things again.
Let's do it.
After we talk about anesthetics.
Ah, so I guess we're doing it
without anesthetics.
All right, that's fine.
- It'll take 30 minutes to
gestate.
Then we can perform the second
surgery.
- Just one quick question about
anesthetics.
- Don't worry.
We'll put you out.
- This is the clinic that
diagnosed Uncle Mark's brain
tumor.
Let's see if this phone works.
Scan criminal database.
- Steven Davis, 46, conviction
of medical fraud in 2002,
battery -- third degree, 2005,
practicing without a medical
license in 2006.
- Hey, what's the big deal?!
Why you hologramming me?!
- Get him, Chubbie Webbers.
- [ Whimpering ]
- Ugh. Get him!
- Why should dogs do this?!
But dogs aren't supposed to do
this!
- I know you're not a real
doctor.
Mark Baranski doesn't have a
brain tumor, does he?
- [ Groans ]
- Does he?!
- Nobody has brain tumors,
okay?!
A lady at the James Newton
Science Center pays me for fake
referrals!
She does experiments or
something!
[ Groans ]
Fuu...
- Ow.
So you're here for brain
surgery, too?
I don't trust Brainbrook.
I don't feel well.
- Well, you look pretty great.
- You look fantastic.
- I can't see.
I think I'm losing my hearing!
- [ Loudly ] I said you look
great!
- [ Loudly ] You look great!
- [ Growls ]
[ Growls ]
- [ Growling ]
- Your first task, my brain
brethren, is to kill
Agent French.
- Chubbie Webbers, I need you
to wear a disguise and distract
the guard while I sneak in.
- [ Whimpering ]
- It doesn't matter what kind
of disguise.
Just distract him.
- [ Whimpering ]
- Oh, come on!
- [ Whimpers ]
Want to play baseball?
Come on!
You know you want to!
- [ Growls ]
- [ Grunts ]
Nice job, Chubbie Webbers.
- [ Nervous laugh ]
[ Clamoring ]
- Hi!
We've got to get out of here.
- If we don't perform an
emergency surgery right now,
your uncle will turn into a
monster.
♪♪
[ Both gasp ]
- I'm not ready to come out
just yet.
- What's Brainbrook's plan?
- [ Maniacal laughter ]
- Time to overthink things.
- Ugh!
- What's Brainbrook's plan?
- She's cooking chili.
- She's building an army of
brain soldiers and teleporting
them to Mars for planetary
conquest.
- You think she's cooking
chili.
- Yes.
- No.
- Can you surgically remove it
from Uncle Mark?
- I'm attached to his spine.
He'll die if you try to remove
me.
- How do we kill you without
injuring my partner?
- There is an intralesional
steroid vaccine -- an antidote,
if you will -- in Brainbrook's
lab in the east wing.
But it's impossible to get to
unless you use Brainbrook's
teleportation device.
Oh, damn it.
- Let's see if I can get the
teleporter running.
I might be able to get it to
work, but it's dangerous.
I'd say there's a 90% chance of
instant death.
- There goes that.
- [ Whimpers ]
- Are you sure?
- [ Whimpering ]
- I don't know what to say.
[ Whirring ]
Chubbie Webbers!
[ Both whimpering ]
- I can change the density
between the two versions.
- Huh.
[ Clanking ]
- So what's your name?
- I don't have a name.
- What's your favorite movie?
- I've never seen a movie
before.
- Where you from?
- Your neck.
[ Clanking ]
- What's your favorite TV show?
- Remember, you're like a
ghost.
They won't be able to hurt you.
- [ Whimpers ]
- Go to the east wing and get
the antidote.
It's all up to you,
Chubbie Webbers.
- [ Growling ]
[ Machine gunfire ]
- Ow!
He shot me in the heart!
Ugh!
Try not to shoot me in the heart
again.
That hurts.
- I'm sorry.
[ Whimpering ]
[ All growling ]
[ Bubbling ]
- Are you okay?
How's your heart?
- I'll be fine.
He missed all the important
valves.
If you're gonna get shot in the
heart, this is the best way.
- [ Whimpering ]
- Oh! Got to switch densities.
- [ Laughs ]
- [ Screaming ]
- Chubbie Webbers!
[ Maniacal laughter ]
- Dumbass!
- [ Whimpering ]
- Aah!
- [ Evil snickering ]
- We have to go in!
- Let's kill some mother
[bleep] brain cells.
[ All growling ]
[ Casings fall ]
- [ Grunting ]
- Wait.
Before you kill me, I have one
final request.
- Go on.
- There's so much I never got
to experience in my short life.
Most regrettably, I will die a
virgin.
Because we are connected, I feel
what you feel.
Jen is here.
We have an opportunity.
- Oh, so you're asking me to
have sex with my niece.
- It's all I ask.
Ugh!
♪♪
- Sometimes your instincts fail
you.
I thought for sure she was
cooking chili.
- I'm just glad you're okay.
You're all the family I have
left.
And you're family, too,
Chubbie Webbers.
- [ Whimpering excitedly ]
- Looks like he wants a belly
rub.
He's earned it, right?
- [ Chuckles ]
He sure has.
- [ Sighing ]
[ Moaning ]
- You're doing a good job.
♪♪