1
00:00:01,569 --> 00:00:01,869
[ Growling ]

2
00:00:03,104 --> 00:00:06,414
[ Screams ]

3
00:00:06,440 --> 00:00:07,740
Where are those guys?

4
00:00:07,775 --> 00:00:09,775
They should have been here
by now!

5
00:00:09,810 --> 00:00:11,750
[ Screaming ]

6
00:00:11,779 --> 00:00:14,079
[ Growls ]

7
00:00:15,783 --> 00:00:19,393
Just spit-balling here, but what
if you didn't take my thr--

8
00:00:19,420 --> 00:00:20,720
[ Chuckles ]

9
00:00:20,754 --> 00:00:23,794
[ Incoherent singing ]

10
00:00:23,824 --> 00:00:25,634
Huh?

11
00:00:25,659 --> 00:00:27,159
Now!

12
00:00:27,195 --> 00:00:28,395
Don't shoot French.
Don't shoot French.

13
00:00:28,429 --> 00:00:29,599
Don't shoot French.
[ Gunshot ]

14
00:00:29,630 --> 00:00:32,470
You're under arrest,
spine monster.

15
00:00:32,500 --> 00:00:34,400
You're doing hard time
for this.

16
00:00:34,435 --> 00:00:36,735
Nice work, everybody.
Churros on French.

17
00:00:36,770 --> 00:00:40,740
Yeah, churros on me.

18
00:00:40,774 --> 00:00:43,114
Unh-unh!
Unh-unh!

19
00:00:43,144 --> 00:00:45,584
Oh, no,
I left my wallet at home!

20
00:00:45,613 --> 00:00:48,583
[ Yelling ]

21
00:00:48,616 --> 00:00:49,716
Can I pay you later?

22
00:00:49,750 --> 00:00:53,090
I'm good for the money,
I swear to God.

23
00:00:53,121 --> 00:00:55,091
Lick my dong.

24
00:00:55,123 --> 00:00:57,463
He wants me
to lick his dong?

25
00:00:57,491 --> 00:00:59,831
Lick my dong.

26
00:00:59,860 --> 00:01:03,460
I don't have the money, I guess
I don't really have a choice.

27
00:01:04,832 --> 00:01:07,102
Lick my dong.

28
00:01:07,135 --> 00:01:10,695
♪♪

29
00:01:19,847 --> 00:01:20,847
[ Both screaming ]

30
00:01:20,881 --> 00:01:24,651
♪♪

31
00:01:24,685 --> 00:01:26,515
Apparently,
it's mummy season.

32
00:01:26,554 --> 00:01:28,464
Mummies all over
the damn place.

33
00:01:28,489 --> 00:01:31,129
Speaking of mummies, today is
the three-month anniversary

34
00:01:31,159 --> 00:01:32,629
of your dead mommy.

35
00:01:32,660 --> 00:01:33,830
Weird, huh?

36
00:01:33,861 --> 00:01:36,131
Yeah, weird.

37
00:01:36,164 --> 00:01:38,834
You know, Mom loved apples.

38
00:01:38,866 --> 00:01:41,366
It's sad to think she'll never
see me graduate college

39
00:01:41,402 --> 00:01:42,472
and make a difference.

40
00:01:42,503 --> 00:01:44,673
[ Gasps ] That apple
was not for you.

41
00:01:44,705 --> 00:01:46,535
You ruined my apple!
Don't eat my apple!

42
00:01:46,574 --> 00:01:48,384
Geez, sorry.

43
00:01:48,409 --> 00:01:50,539
Can we just talk like
real people for a moment?

44
00:01:50,578 --> 00:01:54,478
So, uh, I gotta go
get those mummies.

45
00:01:54,515 --> 00:01:56,245
My apple.

46
00:01:56,284 --> 00:01:57,594
Well, Chubbie Webbers,

47
00:01:57,618 --> 00:01:58,788
you're always here
when I need you.

48
00:01:58,819 --> 00:02:00,549
Oh, I almost forgot.

49
00:02:00,588 --> 00:02:02,258
Chubbie, I need you
to help fight mummies.

50
00:02:02,290 --> 00:02:03,860
[ Whistles ]
Here, boy.

51
00:02:03,891 --> 00:02:07,331
[ Door closes ]
[ Sighs ]
J.A.S.O.N., call Matt.

52
00:02:07,361 --> 00:02:08,731
J.A.S.O.N.:
Calling guy you think
is your boyfriend.

53
00:02:08,762 --> 00:02:10,362
Hey!

54
00:02:10,398 --> 00:02:13,798
Oh, Jen.
I was just about to call you.

55
00:02:13,834 --> 00:02:15,604
Can I come over?

56
00:02:15,636 --> 00:02:16,896
I kind of need someone
to talk to.

57
00:02:16,937 --> 00:02:18,567
Swing on by, I'm free.

58
00:02:19,873 --> 00:02:21,543
Uh, excuse me?

59
00:02:21,575 --> 00:02:22,635
You got a minute
for love?

60
00:02:22,676 --> 00:02:24,546
Hey,
almost at your place.

61
00:02:24,578 --> 00:02:28,548
Oh, sorry, forgot,
I just landed in Barcelona.

62
00:02:28,582 --> 00:02:30,382
But you just said --

63
00:02:30,418 --> 00:02:32,618
Yeah, I-I got a free trip
to Barcelona.

64
00:02:32,653 --> 00:02:34,923
Who am I to pass up a free trip
to Barcelona?

65
00:02:34,955 --> 00:02:37,585
Maybe we can just talk
on the phone, then?

66
00:02:37,625 --> 00:02:39,685
My mom passed away recently,
and --

67
00:02:39,727 --> 00:02:40,687
Sorry, I can't hear you

68
00:02:40,728 --> 00:02:43,758
over all the bullfighting
and flamenco dancing.

69
00:02:43,797 --> 00:02:45,697
[ Phone beeps ]
[ Gasps ] Fuck.

70
00:02:45,733 --> 00:02:47,603
[ Grunts ]
[ Gasps ]

71
00:02:47,635 --> 00:02:49,565
Hey, get off!

72
00:02:49,603 --> 00:02:51,943
[ Bones crunching ]

73
00:02:54,642 --> 00:02:56,382
I'm Donovan Kim.
Are you okay?

74
00:02:56,410 --> 00:02:57,580
You just killed that guy.

75
00:02:57,611 --> 00:03:00,751
I had no choice.
He had this.

76
00:03:00,781 --> 00:03:02,621
Yeah, I saw that.

77
00:03:02,650 --> 00:03:04,950
Thanks.
My name's Jen.

78
00:03:04,985 --> 00:03:07,555
I'm Donovan Kim.

79
00:03:07,588 --> 00:03:10,718
"Got a minute for love"?
Yes, I do.

80
00:03:10,758 --> 00:03:13,328
♪♪

81
00:03:13,361 --> 00:03:15,661
My first mummy case!

82
00:03:15,696 --> 00:03:17,596
Lucky I'm here, French,
to show you the ropes.

83
00:03:17,631 --> 00:03:20,601
I did my homework, Branski.
[ Beeping ]

84
00:03:20,634 --> 00:03:22,974
My mummy detector is saying
we should drive northwest.

85
00:03:23,003 --> 00:03:24,743
Mummy detector? Psh.

86
00:03:24,772 --> 00:03:26,512
Dogs are God's
mummy detectors,

87
00:03:26,540 --> 00:03:28,580
ain't that right, Chubbie?
Uh, no.

88
00:03:28,609 --> 00:03:31,679
Ha!
My detector found one first.

89
00:03:31,712 --> 00:03:33,752
In your face, God!

90
00:03:35,015 --> 00:03:36,445
[ Tires squeal ]

91
00:03:38,952 --> 00:03:40,692
Ugh!

92
00:03:40,721 --> 00:03:42,761
That's not a mummy,
that's a burn victim.

93
00:03:42,790 --> 00:03:45,660
Ow!
You punched me right in my burn!

94
00:03:45,693 --> 00:03:49,433
Wa-a-a-ah!
Help me learn about mummies.

95
00:03:49,463 --> 00:03:51,673
[ Mummies groaning ]
Mummies!

96
00:03:51,699 --> 00:03:53,669
[ Mumbling ]

97
00:03:53,701 --> 00:03:56,601
Mummy 101 --
track down the king mummy.

98
00:03:56,637 --> 00:03:59,607
Let's see
where they lead us.
[ Guns cocks ]

99
00:03:59,640 --> 00:04:02,310
"Got a minute for love" is a
charity based out of Africa.

100
00:04:02,343 --> 00:04:03,743
We listen to
starving people's problems.

101
00:04:03,777 --> 00:04:06,347
And then you feed them?

102
00:04:06,380 --> 00:04:08,650
Sometimes just having someone
listen is all they really need.

103
00:04:08,682 --> 00:04:10,322
That's all I need.

104
00:04:10,351 --> 00:04:11,821
The only family I have left
is my uncle,

105
00:04:11,852 --> 00:04:14,052
but he's like
a brick wall.

106
00:04:14,087 --> 00:04:16,487
Sometimes I feel like
I don't have anybody
I can really talk to.

107
00:04:16,524 --> 00:04:18,664
Well, you have me.

108
00:04:18,692 --> 00:04:20,592
Donovan Kim.

109
00:04:22,062 --> 00:04:23,662
[ Mummies groaning ]

110
00:04:23,697 --> 00:04:25,397
Strange.

111
00:04:25,433 --> 00:04:27,803
Why are mummies
hanging out at the docks?

112
00:04:27,835 --> 00:04:29,565
It's actually not strange
at all.

113
00:04:29,603 --> 00:04:32,413
Mummies love water.
They're excellent swimmers.

114
00:04:32,440 --> 00:04:34,580
Tell me more
about mummies.

115
00:04:34,608 --> 00:04:36,578
Let me see, they can
disguise themselves

116
00:04:36,610 --> 00:04:37,780
as regular people, also.

117
00:04:37,811 --> 00:04:40,551
They get drunk
when they drink orange juice.

118
00:04:40,581 --> 00:04:42,681
Wacky!
[ Whining ]

119
00:04:42,716 --> 00:04:45,386
[ Mummies groaning ]

120
00:04:45,419 --> 00:04:47,759
[ Gunshots ]

121
00:04:49,957 --> 00:04:53,557
Another interesting mummy fact?
Their mummy wrap is bulletproof.

122
00:04:53,594 --> 00:04:55,664
[ Groans ]

123
00:04:55,696 --> 00:04:59,896
Between school, Hot Streets,
this guy I'm kind of seeing,

124
00:04:59,933 --> 00:05:01,443
it's a lot to juggle.

125
00:05:01,469 --> 00:05:03,069
I'm in a reggae band,
so I can relate.

126
00:05:03,103 --> 00:05:04,613
I'll never
be like my mom.

127
00:05:04,638 --> 00:05:06,838
She was a single mother
and a Congresswoman.

128
00:05:06,874 --> 00:05:07,844
She did it all.

129
00:05:07,875 --> 00:05:10,405
Jen, you are it all.

130
00:05:11,945 --> 00:05:14,715
Thanks for
walking me home.

131
00:05:14,748 --> 00:05:17,418
It's funny, I feel like
I've known you my whole life.

132
00:05:17,451 --> 00:05:19,721
Uh, before anything happens,

133
00:05:19,753 --> 00:05:23,363
I want you to know I'm looking
for a serious commitment.

134
00:05:23,391 --> 00:05:24,691
I hope that
doesn't scare you.

135
00:05:24,725 --> 00:05:27,425
It takes a lot to scare me
these days.

136
00:05:29,630 --> 00:05:31,770
Aah!

137
00:05:31,799 --> 00:05:34,499
[ Groans ]

138
00:05:35,736 --> 00:05:37,366
[ Water splashing ]

139
00:05:37,405 --> 00:05:39,405
It looks like
they're swimming...

140
00:05:39,440 --> 00:05:40,740
straight to Egypt!

141
00:05:40,774 --> 00:05:42,714
Damn,
you let 'em get away.

142
00:05:42,743 --> 00:05:45,653
Mummy 102 --
never let a mummy escape.

143
00:05:45,679 --> 00:05:47,379
It's my fault.

144
00:05:47,415 --> 00:05:49,845
♪♪

145
00:05:49,883 --> 00:05:52,753
Look,
it's the tunnel of love!

146
00:05:52,786 --> 00:05:55,756
If we fly through it,
we'll be together forever.

147
00:05:58,426 --> 00:06:00,786
Chubbie: [ Moaning ]

148
00:06:03,464 --> 00:06:05,674
What are you doing?

149
00:06:07,535 --> 00:06:09,795
Ugh!
What is this?

150
00:06:09,837 --> 00:06:12,567
[ Panting ]
Okay, calm down.

151
00:06:12,606 --> 00:06:14,436
I can go to the doctor.

152
00:06:14,475 --> 00:06:15,805
Wait!
[ Clang! ]

153
00:06:15,843 --> 00:06:17,453
Huh?

154
00:06:17,478 --> 00:06:19,408
I didn't feel anything.
[ Gasps ]

155
00:06:19,447 --> 00:06:20,807
That's because
it's indestructible.

156
00:06:20,848 --> 00:06:22,978
Donovan?!
What are you doing here?

157
00:06:23,016 --> 00:06:25,746
I know it looks like
you're growing a belly penis,

158
00:06:25,786 --> 00:06:27,756
but it's even better
than that.

159
00:06:27,788 --> 00:06:29,858
My kiss gifted you
the silver cord,

160
00:06:29,890 --> 00:06:31,690
an umbilical cord
to the heavens.

161
00:06:31,725 --> 00:06:34,155
You see, I'm not just
a beautiful Korean man.

162
00:06:34,194 --> 00:06:37,604
I'm also a beautiful
Egyptian mummy.

163
00:06:37,631 --> 00:06:38,831
Fucking hell.

164
00:06:38,866 --> 00:06:41,596
My father is Anubis,
the king of all mummies.

165
00:06:41,635 --> 00:06:43,695
He sent me to America
to find someone

166
00:06:43,737 --> 00:06:44,837
who could be
my mummy princess.

167
00:06:44,872 --> 00:06:46,772
[ Moaning ]

168
00:06:46,807 --> 00:06:48,907
There's a boat for Cairo
leaving in one hour.

169
00:06:48,942 --> 00:06:50,812
Come with me.
No way.

170
00:06:50,844 --> 00:06:52,684
[ Moaning ]

171
00:06:52,713 --> 00:06:54,883
[ Slurping ]

172
00:06:54,915 --> 00:06:58,715
♪♪

173
00:07:01,188 --> 00:07:02,618
[ Gags ]

174
00:07:02,656 --> 00:07:04,016
You're a mummy now.

175
00:07:04,057 --> 00:07:06,527
You belong inside the pyramids
with your own kind.

176
00:07:06,560 --> 00:07:09,160
Please, be my princess.

177
00:07:09,196 --> 00:07:11,026
[ Knock on door ]
Branski: Hey, Jen,

178
00:07:11,064 --> 00:07:12,804
I want to talk to you
about apples.

179
00:07:12,833 --> 00:07:14,743
Just a minute!

180
00:07:14,768 --> 00:07:16,668
Are you pregnant?

181
00:07:16,704 --> 00:07:17,974
Yes.

182
00:07:18,005 --> 00:07:19,505
Tight.

183
00:07:19,540 --> 00:07:21,140
Anyway, about apples.
Uncle Mark,

184
00:07:21,174 --> 00:07:23,714
what would you do
if I told you I was a mummy?

185
00:07:23,744 --> 00:07:25,584
Jen, if you told me
you were a mummy,

186
00:07:25,613 --> 00:07:29,153
I would do everything
within my power to murder you.

187
00:07:30,584 --> 00:07:32,224
[ Mummy detector beeping ]

188
00:07:32,252 --> 00:07:34,562
[ Beeping intensifies ]

189
00:07:34,588 --> 00:07:36,218
Mummy?

190
00:07:38,526 --> 00:07:39,886
Mummy.

191
00:07:39,927 --> 00:07:41,827
There's a lot going on
in my life.

192
00:07:41,862 --> 00:07:44,262
I need to talk to somebody
about this stuff.

193
00:07:44,297 --> 00:07:46,867
There's stuff I want to
talk about, too, like apples.

194
00:07:46,900 --> 00:07:49,070
What is it
with apples?!

195
00:07:49,102 --> 00:07:51,912
Why can't I ever have
a real conversation with you?!

196
00:07:51,939 --> 00:07:55,179
We can talk about apples
later.

197
00:07:55,208 --> 00:07:58,508
Man: All aboard!
Last ship to Cairo!

198
00:07:58,546 --> 00:08:01,716
Well, Chubbie, looks like
we're moving to Egypt.

199
00:08:01,749 --> 00:08:04,749
Freeze! You're under arrest
for being a mummy.

200
00:08:04,785 --> 00:08:07,015
You're gonna do hard time
for this.

201
00:08:07,054 --> 00:08:09,024
Please, let me go.

202
00:08:09,056 --> 00:08:10,886
In Egypt,
there's a place for me.

203
00:08:10,924 --> 00:08:13,734
Mummy 102 --
never let a mummy escape.

204
00:08:13,761 --> 00:08:14,961
[ Footsteps depart ]

205
00:08:18,999 --> 00:08:22,869
[ Singsong voice ]
Jen, I know you're here!

206
00:08:22,903 --> 00:08:25,773
And a mummy!

207
00:08:25,806 --> 00:08:27,906
[ Gunshots ]

208
00:08:27,941 --> 00:08:30,641
Ugh! Ooh!

209
00:08:32,846 --> 00:08:34,776
Don't make me hurt you,
French.

210
00:08:34,815 --> 00:08:37,115
Life in jail
won't be so bad.

211
00:08:37,150 --> 00:08:39,990
I'll sneak in orange juice
for you.

212
00:08:40,020 --> 00:08:41,220
[ Snaps fingers ]

213
00:08:41,254 --> 00:08:43,764
[ Whoosh! ]

214
00:08:46,827 --> 00:08:48,097
[ Gun clicks ]

215
00:08:48,128 --> 00:08:52,998
♪♪

216
00:08:53,033 --> 00:08:55,303
[ Gunshots ]

217
00:08:58,672 --> 00:09:01,212
[ Foghorn blows ]

218
00:09:01,241 --> 00:09:04,851
I wish I was a mummy.

219
00:09:04,878 --> 00:09:07,578
We are gathered here today
in Egypt

220
00:09:07,615 --> 00:09:11,175
for the joining of my son,
Donovan Kim, and Jen Sanders.

221
00:09:11,218 --> 00:09:14,758
They shall lead
as prince and princess of Cairo.

222
00:09:14,788 --> 00:09:16,588
I can't believe
I'm doing this.

223
00:09:16,624 --> 00:09:18,694
Their cords shall be connected
irreversibly,

224
00:09:18,726 --> 00:09:20,586
and they will forever
taste each other's food,

225
00:09:20,628 --> 00:09:22,858
as well as
each other's poop.

226
00:09:22,896 --> 00:09:26,826
If anyone objects, please
sound the gong of opposition.

227
00:09:26,867 --> 00:09:28,667
[ Gong sounds, all gasp ]

228
00:09:28,702 --> 00:09:31,242
I object, big time.

229
00:09:31,271 --> 00:09:33,771
Uncle Mark?
Not the gong of opposition.

230
00:09:33,807 --> 00:09:36,207
Jen, I realize
I'm the real reason you left.

231
00:09:36,243 --> 00:09:39,783
I pushed you away by not
being there when you
needed me the most.

232
00:09:39,813 --> 00:09:41,013
Do something!

233
00:09:41,048 --> 00:09:42,178
Stop!

234
00:09:42,215 --> 00:09:44,245
[ Choking ]

235
00:09:44,284 --> 00:09:46,724
[ Grunting ]

236
00:09:48,388 --> 00:09:49,858
Way to save me, Jen...

237
00:09:49,890 --> 00:09:51,020
My son.

238
00:09:51,058 --> 00:09:52,828
...and lead me
to the king mummy.

239
00:09:52,860 --> 00:09:54,030
Seize them!

240
00:09:54,061 --> 00:09:55,901
[ Gunshot ]

241
00:09:55,929 --> 00:09:59,199
Seize ya later.

242
00:10:00,701 --> 00:10:02,841
Huh?
What?

243
00:10:02,870 --> 00:10:04,910
From now on,
we're talking more.

244
00:10:04,938 --> 00:10:06,668
We should really
get to know each other.

245
00:10:06,707 --> 00:10:08,807
You're right, Jen.
There should be no secrets

246
00:10:08,842 --> 00:10:11,082
between us,
which brings me to apples.

247
00:10:11,111 --> 00:10:13,051
What's the deal
with apples?

248
00:10:13,080 --> 00:10:15,080
Sometimes,
I get real lonely.

249
00:10:15,115 --> 00:10:17,145
I haven't been with a woman
in 15 years.

250
00:10:17,184 --> 00:10:19,824
I use apples
to deal with this.
Oh, no.

251
00:10:19,853 --> 00:10:21,393
First I remove the core,

252
00:10:21,421 --> 00:10:22,921
put it in the microwave
for eight seconds,

253
00:10:22,956 --> 00:10:25,056
then I spread the innards
with apple butter.

254
00:10:25,092 --> 00:10:26,332
Do you fuck apples?

255
00:10:26,359 --> 00:10:27,929
The thing about apples
is --

256
00:10:27,961 --> 00:10:30,101
I ate an apple
you masturbated with?!

257
00:10:30,130 --> 00:10:32,330
Hold on, it's not
what it looks like.

258
00:10:32,365 --> 00:10:34,195
Easy with
the harsh language.

259
00:10:34,234 --> 00:10:35,404
Okay.

260
00:10:35,435 --> 00:10:37,705
I just wanted to say,

261
00:10:37,738 --> 00:10:41,008
I like to have sex with apples,
and you ate one of those apples.

262
00:10:41,041 --> 00:10:42,241
Ugh!
I know!

263
00:10:42,275 --> 00:10:44,235
It's really gross
that you ate that.

264
00:10:44,277 --> 00:10:46,107
[ Crowd chanting "Chubbie!" ]
It feels good
letting that out.

265
00:10:46,146 --> 00:10:48,116
We're really talking
about things.

266
00:10:48,148 --> 00:10:49,918
This is nice.

267
00:10:49,950 --> 00:10:51,850
[ Coughing ]

268
00:10:51,885 --> 00:10:55,415
Chubbie! Chubbie! Chubbie!
Me! Me! Me!

269
00:10:55,455 --> 00:10:57,315
Chubbie! Chubbie!
Me! Me!

270
00:10:57,357 --> 00:11:01,127
♪♪