You are the boss of you.
Let me say it again.
You... are the boss
of you.
Sounds pretty simple.
Because it is.
All you have to do
is master one small thing.
Yourself.
You have to be able to look
at yourself in the mirror and say,
"Hey, you."
I'm the boss of me.
Yes!
You know, folks come up to me and they say, "Terry,
"this all sounds great.
"But it's easy for a guy like you
"with insane self-control.
What about the rest of us?"
Friends...
the secret to self-control
is one simple thing.
That one simple...
Simple...
Uh...
What the hell?
As I was saying, the one simple--
oh!
No!
What's happening to me?
Someone help me!
Get this thing off me!
- Aah!
All right, thank you. LAFD!
Make a hole, coming through!
Looks like we're looking at a possible 5150, Cap.
Sir? Hey, everybody, give him some space, okay?
Sir, whatever's going on here, you don't have to hurt yourself.
You think I want to hurt myself?
It's my hand.
It has a mind of its own.
I think he's suffering from alien hand syndrome, Cap.
- That's not a real thing. - Mm-hmm.
It's a really rare neurological condition
that causes a person's limbs to act out,
seemingly of their own will, and it usually indicates
urgent brain danger.
Okay, Buck, Eddie, get up there.
- See if you can help him restrain himself.
-Okay, here we go. -All right.
- I'm thinking lorazepam. - And five milligrams of lidocaine?
Aim for the ulnar nerve.
Uh, he's, uh, he's stronger than he looks.
It's not me. It's-it's...
Aah, thank you.
- Aah, get it away from me! - I got it, I got it.
Please, please, just cut it off!
Sir, is there any chance you've been treated
- for epilepsy? - No.
How about blood clots?
Any recent contusions or bruises?
Not until today.
What about irregular heartbeat?
Uh, yeah, I had an operation four weeks ago for my AFib.
- What? -Sir,
I think it's possible your heart grew a blood clot
- that went to your brain. - So I'm having a stroke?
I believe so, but we should be able to get you
to the hospital before there's any permanent brain damage.
- Help!
- Okay.
I got you, Buck!
- Oh!
- It's not me. - It's me!
Ow!
-Help! -Get it off!
Yeah, let me get in there. Hold on, hold on, hold on.
Ow, it hurts!
All right.
Did you kill it?
No, I just put it to sleep.
Lidocaine acts as a numbing agent.
I am so sorry.
It's all, it's all good.
- I am so sor--
Oh, that hand didn't do anything.
Left hand didn't know what the right hand was doing.
Aw, don't you wish you could
just shrink them back down to this size?
Oh, I'd be okay with just shrinking her down to this size.
She never even got a chance to wear this.
Okay, we have nine, 12, 18 and 24 months.
This should hold you over
for a while, but if anything doesn't fit...
Keep it anyway.
We will definitely put all of this
to good use, so thank you.
You guys must be so excited. A little girl.
I know. I mean...
How perfect is this little face?
- Aw! -So perfect.
- I can't wait until tomorrow.
Oh, it's Dierdre.
She wants to see us.
Her grandmother changed her mind?
- But you said... - I know.
She seemed pretty sure about her decision.
But when it came
to actually signing the paperwork...
- She couldn't do it. - Mm-hmm.
I'm so sorry.
I know how disappointed you both must be.
A little girl gets to stay with family.
We can't really complain about that.
I have another thing I'd like to discuss with you.
There is another girl.
She's not an infant.
She's quite a bit older.
How much older?
She's nine.
Both her parents are deceased.
Where is she now?
In a group home.
And needless to say,
that has not been a... ideal situation.
But this girl is very special.
And she's lost so much.
I just want to see her get a chance to win.
And I think that the two of you
are the very best chance I can give her.
When do we get to meet her?
Mm, thank you.
Mm.
- This was so good. - Yeah.
I love this place.
Uh, hey.
What time does the movie start?
Uh, did we even pick one yet?
They have 18 screens.
I figure we can decide when we get there?
Okay, uh, keeping our options
open, I like it.
Nobody's looking at us, Evan.
Uh, what?
We're just two guys having dinner.
Nobody cares.
Yeah, I-I-I don't know what you mean.
You're a little tense.
But I get it, we're in a...
pretty macho line of work.
But you'd be surprised how accepting most people are.
Were you always... out on the job?
Oh, no.
The 118...
it was a pretty regressive place under Captain Gerrard.
And I was still figuring myself out.
It was only after I transferred to Harbor
that I stopped lying about who I was.
Yeah, I'm-I'm not lying about who I am.
I didn't say you are.
I was talking about me.
Okay, listen, this is, this is my first date with a dude.
But I'm not weirded out.
You know, I mean, I'm an ally.
Every Pride Month, I put a rainbow on my Instagram.
- I'm, you know... - Oh.
That's good.
Then I guess it's just me that makes you nervous.
Tommy!
Hey.
Buck! Hey, you two guys are hanging out. That's so great.
Yeah, we're just grabbing a bite.
And we were gonna go see a movie.
-Nice. - And then we're gonna go
find some hot chicks.
Uh, 'cause, you know, hot chicks
love firefighters.
Well, this hot chick already found her firefighter.
- Oh, she agreed to move in with me.
- Hey, congratulations. - Uh, yeah, yeah, uh, congrats.
- Thank you. - I thought you owned your place.
I'm thinking of renting it out.
I keep on telling her she can rent it furnished.
Then we wouldn't have to move anything.
You're just gonna have to make room.
You want me, you get my armoire, too.
Guess you can never have enough closet space.
Ain't that the truth, right, Evan?
All right, you guys have a great night.
Uh, yeah, yeah, you too, bro.
You ready to go?
Uh, yeah, yeah, I think.
So, uh, 16 screens, huh?
Eighteen.
Wow, that's so-so many choices.
Hey, is this-this ours?
No, it's mine.
I think I'm gonna skip the movie.
Why? What do you mean?
Evan, I think you're adorable.
But I don't think you're ready.
I'll see you around.
This is Mara.
Hi, Mara, I'm Denny.
And that's Hen and that's Karen.
- Welcome, sweetheart. - We're so excited you're here.
It's okay, you can look around.
Make yourself at home.
These are her things.
The clothes inside are clean.
And there's an extra pair of shoes.
- She's not traveling with a lot. - No.
The blanket is the only thing that she had left from before.
Do you like that spot?
- Has she always been nonverbal? - No.
Not always. When she first came to us,
she let us know how much she loved that blanket
when we tried to wash it.
Here, I thought you might like this.
His name's Herman. He was always my favorite.
Maybe he could be your favorite now.
Okay.
- Who's hungry? - Come on, Mara.
I think that's a good start.
So, you lied to Eddie?
Yeah, and it's, uh,
it's kind of tearing me up inside.
So, tell me.
Chimney's not here, right?
No, he took Jee to daycare.
So, the other night, I-I had a date.
Ooh.
Anyone I know?
No, uh, I don't think so.
Anyway, we picked a place
kind of out of the way.
Or so I thought,
'cause we're sitting there
and Eddie and Marisol walk in.
Okay.
So, Eddie knows this person,
and I guess I'm feeling
caught off guard, 'cause I lie.
I make it seem like we're just hanging out.
Are you dating a married woman?
What? No, I would never do that.
Is it a celebrity?
Who it is isn't the point.
The point is
I lied to my best friend's face.
Okay, so, why do you think you did that?
I don't know.
It was like it was my voice,
but someone else was talking.
The lie just slid its way out of my mouth
and I couldn't stop it. It was humiliating.
You know, my date
was right there and, as you can imagine,
the night ended pretty quick.
He left me standing outside the restaurant,
and I just, I feel like a fraud.
I'm-I'm sorry,
who left you outside the restaurant?
My date.
Can we go back to the pronoun?
Yeah, okay? I was...
I was on a date with a guy.
Again, not-not really the point.
Mmm, it could be very much the point.
Well, it shouldn't be, though, right?
I mean, I'm an ally.
I've always been an ally.
So-so, now you're more than an ally.
It was my first time, it was dinner and movie,
and I-I didn't even make it to the movie.
Wow.
What, "Wow"?
No, not, "Wow."
Like, "Wow,
"I didn't think that that's
where your interests would lie."
I didn't either.
I love women.
I've... always loved women.
How long have you been leaning in the other direction?
I haven't,
not specifically.
I mean, sure, I'll check out
a hot guy's ass, but that's normal.
Uh, it's not abnormal.
With Tommy...
I don't know. He's so confident, you know?
He's interesting. He has a cleft.
Wait. It's the same Tommy?
Yes, uh, the pilot.
Eddie's friend.
Uh, recent friend. We met him at the same time.
Okay, I don't think you're a fraud.
I... I just think that maybe
you're not sure of your own feelings yet.
And if there's something that you need to tell Eddie,
you will.
Just, in your own time.
Yeah.
So...
tell me more about the hot pilot.
So, that was fun.
That was.
Aren't you glad you moved in?
We were doing that before I moved in.
Uh-huh, yes, but now,
one of us doesn't have to leave.
I'm gonna go rinse off real quick.
Mm-hmm. Mmm.
Ooh.
Maybe we should go through your boxes
and weed some things out.
Don't want to bring any duplicates, do we?
They're not duplicates if mine are clearly better.
Hmm.
What is that?
Oh, you're kind of cool.
♪ Happy birthday to you ♪
- Stop, stop. - ♪ Happy birthday-- ♪
Stop, stop, stop, stop.
What else does she have?
When were you a nun for Halloween?
That wasn't Halloween.
That's from when I was at
Sisters of The Holy Order.
Hey, uh, wait.
You were really a nun?
Nearly. I only made it to novice.
I never took my final vows.
Having flashbacks to middle school.
You're not gonna spank me with a ruler, are you?
Only if you ask nicely.
Hungry?
Pancakes?
Or French toast?
Here is your water bottle.
Nobody else is allowed to use it except you, okay?
Would it feel better if I put a light on for you?
Okay, we'll just leave this lamp on,
but the switch is right here
if you want to turn it off.
Okay.
Night night.
Mara, what is it, sweetie?
Is something wrong?
Did you have a bad dream?
Why don't I come back to your room with you?
Okay?
Mara! Mara! Mara, Mara!
No, no. Mara! Mara!
No. Look, it's okay.
Mara! Mara!
- Hey. - Hey.
So, listen, um...
I just wanted to say...
...that you are here early.
Yeah.
Been here since 6:00.
Our shift doesn't start till 9:00.
I left the house early to avoid not having sex.
To avoid
not having sex?
Yeah.
She likes it in the morning.
Let me ask you a question.
Was your family very religious when you were growing up?
Uh, we were Episcopalian.
So, no.
Well, I come from Catholics.
Latin Catholics.
Rosary beads, Catholic schools,
confessions. Mass every Sunday.
I went until I was old enough
to tell my folks it wasn't for me.
I thought that was the end of it.
Guess it wasn't. Turns out,
I'm a Manchurian Catholic.
I've just got a reservoir of Catholic guilt
just lying dormant, waiting to be activated.
Like sea monkeys.
No.
Okay, so,
Marisol moved in this weekend, right?
Or started to. And everything
was really fun. Kind of naughty.
Especially since Christopher is
out of town for a couple days.
And then, I found out
she was a nun.
Oh.
Really? A-a nun?
Yeah.
And she never mentioned that before?
Nope.
Well, does she wear the outfit?
'Cause I feel like that would be a giveaway.
She's not currently a nun.
She was a nun.
Or a nun in training.
She never actually took the vows.
So she dropped out of nun school?
More or less, yeah.
Or was she expelled?
No, it was her choice.
Okay, so what's the problem?
The problem is I can't look at her
without wanting to do this
instead of...
other things.
In fact, I haven't been able to, uh,
you know, since I found out.
Which is why you're so
- pent up. - Yeah.
Well, I wish I could help.
Episcopalians don't have guilt,
which I don't feel great about.
Uh, maybe you should
appeal to a...
What, you think I should go to confession?
You think a priest is going to
make me feel better about all this?
No, I... I think you should go to Cap.
He's a practicing Catholic.
That's true.
And he never makes you feel judged.
That's actually good advice, Buck.
I'm gonna do that.
Thanks.
Uh, yeah. No... no problem.
Hey, you looked like you wanted to tell me something
when you walked in.
I, uh, was just gonna see if you needed a spot.
No, I'm done here.
We should probably get ready.
This might help.
Yeah. Mmm.
That and maybe a handful of ibuprofen.
You got a headache?
Uh, more like an everything ache.
How's the little one settling in?
Something happened to that little girl, Cap.
Last night, she had an episode.
Some kind of night terror, maybe.
I ended up sleeping on the floor next to her bed.
Ah.
I was going to suggest
looking into a new mattress.
Maybe what you need is carpet.
She's only been with us a day and a night,
but she hasn't uttered one single word.
A day and a night's not very long.
I'm sure once she realizes she's safe, she'll open up.
Yeah.
That's what I keep telling myself.
Oh, God. I got to call Karen.
What the hell happened to Denny's face?
Breakfast didn't go quite as planned.
A projectile coffee mug made an unexpected landing.
- Is he okay? - He swears he's fine.
I am. I promise.
She didn't mean it, Mom. It's not a big deal.
You're a good kid.
How many stitches?
Seven. Doctor said we got really lucky.
Did they do an X-ray? He could have an occipital fracture.
X-ray was clear.
Did they check for nerve damage?
- A concussion? - Would you like me to get the doctor back
so you can interrogate him directly?
I'm sorry, I just...
I wish I was there.
Me, too.
So, how did we go from cereal to stitches?
It was pancakes, and...
Uh... I, honestly, am not sure.
One minute, Denny's setting the table
and the next, he's bleeding.
I think he tried to move her blanket.
And that's the way that she reacted?
Karen...
- When can you come home? - Soon.
I think we have a lot to talk about.
Yeah.
We do.
What do I even say?
That w-we need to talk,
that we're-we're in over our heads, that...
- that this isn't working out. - Is that what we're saying?
Because that sounds like the start
of three different conversations.
Okay, what do we want from Deidra?
Absolution?
Hen.
I know, I...
But I mean, it hasn't even been a week.
We have a responsibility to Denny, and to Mara.
Things will only get worse if we wait long enough
for her to get attached to us.
You think that girl gets attached to anyone?
I don't know what's inside her head.
I wish I did.
Okay.
Hello?
Hi, Deidra.
It's Henrietta Wilson.
Doesn't look like any sisters
at Saint Peter's Prep back in Minnesota.
Yeah. Obviously, she doesn't look like that now.
- But when I first saw it...
Oh, no, no, I understand.
I do.
The imagery from our faith is a powerful thing.
There's a reason it's been around for over 2,000 years.
Except, I'm not sure I can say it's our faith, Cap.
I don't know what I believe in.
Lapsed Catholic, still a Catholic.
Though I can't help but wonder if this reaction
isn't just you having second thoughts
about asking this woman to move in with you.
- Is that what you think it is? - Well, you haven't really talked
about her in a way that would make me think you're considering
- cohabitating. - Eh.
I really like her, Cap.
I don't doubt that.
I just, I remember you telling me
about things getting real
with Christopher's teacher.
Ana. Yeah.
And that's when you started having your panic attacks.
So, you think I'm a commitment-phobe?
Mm, you don't seem to have a problem committing
to certain things: the military,
this job, your son. Shannon.
That was a lot of the reason why we got married. The Church.
She got pregnant and I think we both felt pressured into it.
But I never regretted it, and... even when things got really bad,
there was always a part of me that...
I loved being married to her.
I'm not gonna tell you how you feel about Marisol, Eddie.
Only you know that.
Okay, so shoot it to me straight.
As a practicing, confession-going Catholic...
- ...if it were you,
- what would you do? - As a practicing,
confession-going Catholic,
- what would I do? - Mm-hmm.
I would probably go to confession.
I wouldn't want to piss off her ex.
The Lord.
Over here.
Hey, guys.
Brunson, how bad did it get?
Uh, practically down to the bone.
Tore right through your turnouts, must have been
- a big dog. Yeah, she's a Doberman.
It's my fault, not hers.
She's locked in that back room because she kept getting out.
I-I was trying to grab her.
I guess that's what I get.
- She's still in there? - Uh, yeah.
Our guys know.
I think you may need a plastic surgeon, Brunson.
I am so sorry.
She was a rescue, she was used for fighting,
but she's really very sweet.
I mean, we were doing so well.
She was really making progress.
I-I don't even care about the house.
I can't believe I had her trapped in there.
I'm sorry I couldn't get her out.
I'm sorry this happened to you.
Sir!
Oh, my God, Rosie!
Breathe through it. Breathe through it, Brunson.
- There you go.
I was supposed to take care of her.
She was finally supposed to be safe with me.
I need you to step aside, okay?
Come on.
There's movement!
There's movement in the scalene muscles.
She's trying to breathe.
Starting compressions.
Come on, Rosie.
Come on, come on.
- Hen.
Breathe.
- There she is.
There she is!
- Oh, my girl. - That's a good girl.
Thank you. Thank you so much.
My sweet girl.
- Thank you. Wow.
You don't give up, do you?
Those words are not in her vocabulary.
Now, this is everything I could find
on Mara's parents. There's more than a few holes.
And I think some records were sealed
because it involved a minor.
Mm.
Thank you so much, Athena.
Are you sure you want to read it?
Now, you told me that you and Karen
wanted to do right by Denny.
Nothing in here changes what she did to him.
I know, I just...
Everybody's given up on her.
I don't want to be another name
in a long list of people who have failed her.
Not until I can understand how we got here.
You are not wrong about "everyone" failing her.
After reading this, I'm not sure this girl ever had a chance.
Mara's parents, Wade and Aubrey Driskell.
Apparently, they were high school sweethearts.
Not exactly Romeo and Juliet.
It's more like Bonnie and Clyde.
Criminal record dating back to when they were teens,
mostly drug-related
or drug-induced, and almost always together.
- They died the same night? - Opioid overdose.
Paramedics estimated
that they had been dead for several hours
before their bodies were found.
Wait.
How did the paramedics find them?
Someone called 911.
Just press play when you're ready.
And I'll be outside if you need anything.
- Thanks again, Maddie. - Yeah.
911, what's your emergency?
Hello? Is anyone there?
This is 911. Do you have an emergency?
I think...
something is wrong with my parents.
Okay. What's wrong?
They went to sleep and now they won't wake up.
Okay, sweetheart. Tell me your name.
- Mara. - Mara, do you know your address?
612 West Adams Street.
Okay, honey. The paramedics should be there any minute.
Mara, can you tell me if your mommy and daddy are breathing?
If you put your hand near their faces,
you should be able to feel air coming out of their noses.
I don't feel anything.
They're not breathing.
Mara, help will be there really, really soon.
I just need you to keep helping me until they are, okay
Okay.
Mara, does it look like your parents got hurt?
- Are they bleeding? No.
Sometimes they take pills that make them sleepy,
but they always wake up.
I don't know why they aren't waking up.
- Mommy? Daddy? Wake up!
Please! Please wake up!
Mara wasn't just watching us sleep.
She was afraid we weren't gonna wake up.
She was trying to protect us.
It's Marisol again.
She wants to know what I want for dinner.
- What do I tell her? - Uh, sushi.
The menu is not the issue.
She's expecting me to come home.
Which you do have to do at some point, don't you?
Do I?
Well, you live there,
and so does your son.
Yeah, but he's away for the next couple days.
What if I come home
and she wants to have...
Well, you'll get through it somehow.
Not with God watching.
Was he not watching before?
Yeah, but now I feel like he's got eyes on the ground.
Ugh!
I'm gonna have to break up with her.
- Is-is that what you want? - No.
I just asked her to move in with me.
All her stuff's still in boxes.
I don't know, man.
You and Tommy have the right idea.
Stay single.
Hang out with the boys.
- Mm.
- It was a date.
When you and Marisol ran into me and Tommy,
we were on a date.
Really?
Mm-hmm.
Wait, Tommy's gay?
Uh, that never came up while you guys were hanging out?
No, no. I mean, not that it would've mattered.
Sure, I don't think he volunteers it, but, uh,
he does not hide it.
So you two were...
We were on a date. Yes.
Okay.
Is that weird?
No. Absolutely not.
I mean, I like him, too.
I mean, it's not the same way as you,
evidently.
This doesn't change a thing between us.
Okay?
Good. That's a relief.
Although, I guess it doesn't really matter anyway
'cause, uh, he dumped me.
Ooh, wow. That's fast, even for you.
I guess he can't really dump me
'cause we weren't together. Uh...
Basically, when we ran into you guys,
I kind of made an idiot of myself, and
he said he doesn't think I'm ready.
Hmm. What do you think?
I kind of can't stop thinking about him.
Well, you know what I think?
You should call him.
- Really? - Heck yeah.
He doesn't know you're an idiot.
Once he gets to know you,
and know that you're an idiot, he'll love you,
like we all do.
- What if he says no? - Then he's an idiot.
Don't walk away from something before you even know what it is.
That sounds like some good advice.
Yeah.
I got to talk to Marisol.
- Come here. Come here.
Call Tommy.
I don't even want to know what's in there.
Hey.
You're home.
Yeah. Uh, sorry I was late.
It's okay. It was only 12 hours.
- Did you eat? - I had dinner with my brother.
I didn't feel like cooking.
Good. Good.
Uh, I think we should talk.
Yeah. We should.
I'm...
I'm just, uh, I'm...
just, uh, uh, honestly,
I-I don't even know where to start.
I should've told you about the nun thing.
Why didn't you?
Because no man has ever looked at me
the same after they found out.
There's two types of guys.
The ones that get freaked out by it,
and...
the ones that get a little too into it.
Maybe there's a third.
Uh, kind of...
guy who just...
needs a minute?
You don't need to slow walk it.
If you're not ready for this...
Yeah, I, uh...
I don't think I am.
Yet.
So, here's something you don't know about me.
Um, this moving too fast,
I do it a lot.
I-I just go
with my gut and let my head catch up later.
Does that usually work out for you?
- Almost never.
But this time...
...I'd really like it if it did.
Can we just start over?
You know, go back to the beginning
and take the time to actually get to know each other.
- So, we're gonna start over? - Can't wait to move out.
- Me either.
Can I come in?
Is it okay if I sit here?
I can't imagine
how hard this must be for you.
To be in a strange house
with people you don't know.
I think I'd be scared all the time.
Which is how I know you
are a very brave girl.
But I want you to know that
you don't have to be brave all the time,
that you are safe here,
even if it doesn't feel that way yet.
So, until it does...
...this is for you.
Now...
...you can always watch us
and know we're here
and know we're safe.
Okay?
Night night, Mara.
Night night.
We'll see you in the morning.
♪ Tall tales unfolding ♪
♪ A great sky to keep your secret safe ♪
♪ With me ♪
♪ Deep winter beholding... ♪
Uh, hey.
Hey.
Thanks for agreeing to meet me.
Of course.
Uh, I-I got you a coffee.
Thanks.
Um, I-I didn't know how you take it,
so I-I just took a guess.
- Mmm. So, not like that.
Seems there are
a lot of things we don't know about each other.
Practically everything.
Well, I-I would like to change that.
First, I...
I need to apologize
for the way I behaved the other night.
You have nothing to apologize for.
- No, I... I do. - No.
I didn't cut things short because you behaved badly.
I did it because I didn't want to pressure you.
Still, the way I reacted was
not my proudest moment.
Noted.
Uh, so you said before, um,
that-that you don't think I'm ready.
And the truth is,
I don't know what I'm ready for,
but I am ready for something.
And-and I think maybe that something
could be with you.
♪ Safe with me ♪
♪ Deep winter... ♪
You already know that I'm interested.
Come with me to my sister's wedding.
What?
I want you to be my date at my sister's wedding.
Evan.
Come on, I'm-I'm serious.
Listen, you already know half the people there,
and-and she wants to meet you.
Are you absolutely sure about this?
Yes, I'm sure.
There's gonna be free food,
and I need someone to dance with.
Okay.
- Yeah? - Yeah.
Okay, great.
They're half an hour late. Dad, anything?
Straight to voice mail.
- Buck's car just pulled up. Okay.
Okay. Is Chimney in his tux?
- I didn't see.
It's fine. Okay.
How is it?
Oh. No, no, no. Don't let him come in here. He can't see me
until the ceremony. Why are you dressed like that?
Uh, it was a-a themed party.
What was it, pastel and puke?
No, '80s. I'm Crockett. He's Tubbs.
He's Tubbs. I'm Crockett.
And this isn't my puke. I don't think.
Okay, whatever, can you just go and get changed.
You're over half an hour late.
Uh...
Where's Chimney?
It's complicated.