[narrator] Previously on Before the 90 Days...
[man in foreign language]
[Adnan in English] Now, Tigerlily, she is my wife.
[Tigerlily] Yes.
[Adnan speaking]
I have never seen this side of Adnan before.
Like, jealous and possessive over nothing.
I'm worried about that.
[Adnan] It's done now, baby.
You know, that's a conversation
I definitely want to have in person.
[man] Oh.
I want to take it slow.
...we have to have an idea.
If I plan on staying in the Philippines forever,
we have to get to know each other
physically, romantically, all of it.
We have had communication issues,
and if we got into an argument,
who am I going to have there?
Do you know? Nobody.
Your ex?
[in foreign language]
[Brian in English] I'm worried that I did expose too much too soon.
And on top of that,
Ingrid doesn't even know the whole story
of how I ended up in a wheelchair in the first place.
My carjacking was not some random event.
There's a lot more to the story.
♪♪ Oh-ey, oh-ey Oh-ey, oh, ey ♪
[Tigerlily chuckles]
♪♪ Oh-ey, oh-ey ♪
[singing in foreign language]
[chuckles]
[in English]
[Tigerlily] I love you so much.
-Okay. Let's get ready, baby. -Okay.
Shay and Cruz are gonna come here
to help me get ready.
What's your plan for today?
[chuckles]
[Tigerlily] Adnan has done
all the planning for the wedding,
so I don't really know what to expect.
Even though I was married in the past,
I didn't have a wedding celebration.
It was just a shotgun wedding at the courthouse.
So this is a first for me.
-[grunts] -[Tigerlily chuckles]
-Can you help me? -Yeah.
Yeah.
-[Cruz] Hey! -[Tigerlily] Hey!
-Hi. [chuckles] -We're here.
[Cruz] You ready for the big day?
Yeah, I'm so ready.
[both grunt]
[Tigerlily] I have never even been to a wedding before.
I mean, I have a really small family.
And during my marriage,
my ex didn't want me to have friends.
So, I mean, whose wedding am I gonna go to?
[Cruz] So what's up, guys?
Are you official now?
Did you'll sign the book?
-Yeah. -[Cruz] Yeah?
How does it feel? Different?
[Adnan] Yes.
I am now, I want to going to get ready.
I did not know that. [chuckles]
And only touch her hair.
Okay.
-You will watch. -[Shay] I'll watch.
[Adnan] Okay.
-[chuckles] -All right.
-Bye. -Bye, baby.
-I will see you. -[Cruz] Bye.
It's a little shocking to hear Adnan say
I can't do Tigerlily's hair alone.
I mean, I've been doing her hair for 20 years.
[Tigerlily] Let's get set up in the dining room?
I'm gonna go wash up.
[Shay] It's definitely a little weird.
-Like, I'm now the baby sitter. -[Cruz chuckles]
Yeah.
Let me get this.
[knocking at door]
-Got this. -[Tigerlily] Hold on.
Let me see who's at the door.
[Tigerlily] Hi.
[Tigerlily] Hello.
[Tigerlily] Hi.
Come on in.
[Tigerlily] Okay.
Adnan did tell me that he had videographers
coming to document the whole day.
But when I open up the door
and I see that the videographers are men,
I am a little bit confused because
I am not supposed to be around men.
But since Adnan arranged for these videographers,
I guess it makes it okay?
I really don't know.
Okay. I have them all set up.
Okay. You got your dress well-situated.
Yes.
So how deep you think this is about being with, like...
alone with...
-[Shay] With guys. -[Cruz] With guys.
[Tigerlily] I don't know.
But yesterday, whenever you guys were at the Dead Sea,
I had to have this guy come over from the salon
to fix my hair.
So he was sitting there staring at him
-the entire time. -[both chuckling]
He was, like, literally pacing.
Like, he, like...
He wasn't pretending.
-He didn't sit right with him? -[Tigerlily] Yeah.
Just seeing him like that
made me, like, a little bit more,
like, understanding and accepting of it.
I'm literally like his most prized possession.
I am just totally for him, and that's it.
Wait, this kind of sounds like controlling behavior.
And you like to run things your way.
-You're right. But I don't... -[Cruz speaking]
Oh, I know. But, like, I don't feel controlled at all.
And I like it because it makes me feel like,
"Oh, my gosh, he loves me that much."
I just think it's so cute.
Well, we're here for you.
That's why we're here.
But can I, like, secretly go off
and leave you guys alone so I can do my makeup
-because we're on a time crunch? -No.
-I can't?
-No. -[sighs softly]
I guess you're stuck.
-Oh, my God. -[both chuckle]
-[Shay] Okay. -All right.
I'm honestly baffled right now.
I mean, baffled is a good word.
[Shay] I for sure thought that she'd be like,
"Oh, yeah, it's fine. You can go do your makeup."
And to hear her say that
she likes to be controlled as well, to me...
'Cause that's why her last marriage ended.
She wants it to work so badly
that she's going along with whatever Adnan wants.
Yeah, it's like she has blinders on.
[Shay] I just don't know how long it's going to last.
[in foreign language]
[Brian in English] I just arrived in Brazil yesterday,
and it's my first morning with Ingrid.
It was amazing waking up next to Ingrid.
To be able to kiss her and and hug her
first thing in the morning.
It's what I've been waiting for.
[in foreign language]
[Brian in English] Last night, we did not have sex.
I think we're okay with it.
We woke up with smiles on our face, so we're okay.
Looking back on Ingrid helping me last night.
I think she was just a little uncomfortable with everything,
and a little in shock.
Usually, when I meet somebody
that's not used to life in a wheelchair,
it's definitely a learning curve
and some time for them to catch up.
I mean, I hope Ingrid catches up quickly.
I hope she's wanting to.
[in foreign language]
[Ingrid] Ah. Ooh!
[Brian] Aye, yai, yai.
[Brian speaking]
[Brian sighs]
[in English] Ingrid and I are headed to her hometown of Gurupi.
Ingrid's house is not very accessible.
So I'll be staying at a hotel.
The plan is for Ingrid to spend the night tonight,
and tomorrow she'll return home
and then split her time between the hotel and home.
[in foreign language]
[in English] You ready?
[in foreign language]
[chuckles]
[in English] I'm very serious about being part of Ingrid's life,
meeting people that are important to her in her life.
Especially her father.
You know, if I'm gonna be with your daughter,
I feel as respectful as a man to meet you.
And that's something hard for me to
just give up on.
I'm just not gonna take no for an answer.
[in foreign language]
Ah?
[in English] So I only have, right now, like, American dollars.
-[Faith] Mmm-hmm. -[Brian speaking]
I have no problem being open about my finances.
I just hope she doesn't get turned off by it.
Anyone want it? Any...
[beeping]
That right there,
feels worse than having a hammer to the head.
For a long time, I didn't think
love was possible for me.
Because I suffer from autism spectrum disorder.
But then I found Matilda.
She wants to get married on this trip.
However, I would like to wait.
Does she know that?
Well, that might be something that I have to tell her
once we can look each other in the eyes.
-Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! -Time out.
[Loren in sing-song voice] Somebody's here.
-Come on. -How are you?
Doing good.
How was your first night here?
It was great.
Yeah.
-Yeah. -Mmm-hmm.
See, I'm gonna get this bag totally empty.
And gonna take it to the market, right?
[Faith] Mmm-hmm.
[Loren] It's my first morning in the Philippines.
Of course, I would have preferred
to wake up with Faith in my arms.
But it was our first day, first night.
Totally fine that she's in her own room
and I'm in my own room.
But today's a new day.
We're going to know each other more,
and who knows what happens tonight.
-So I only have right now, like, American dollars. -Mmm-hmm.
We can go to the front desk.
How many dollars you want to exchange?
-All of it. -Mmm-hmm.
Like, forty...
five, forty six.
Um, is this all you have
for this trip in the Philippines?
I mean, have some more money,
but it's, like, in a pending charge.
So, I mean, I just got to keep checking my bank
to see if, like, it shows back up.
I'm sure, eventually, I'll have some money.
-Okay. -[both chuckle]
-Let's go. -[both chuckle]
[Loren] I spent all of my savings getting here.
So besides the $46 in my wallet,
I have a paycheck that should be deposited
into my bank account in a few days.
But really, that's all I have to my name.
-[Faith] Are you excited? -[Loren] Of course.
I have no problem being open about my finances.
I just hope she doesn't get turned off by it.
Yes, how may I help you, sir?
Yeah. I want to exchange some US dollars to pesos.
-How much US dollars? -Forty six.
-Yeah. -Okay, yeah.
-[Faith] Thank you. -Thank you.
-Have a nice day. Bye. -Have a nice day also.
I'm not with Loren for his money.
But in America,
there is so much more opportunity.
And Lauren seems like he's always working,
so it doesn't make sense for him to have so little.
That's okay.
I don't mind your sweat.
[chuckles] It doesn't bother me.
Is there anything you want at the market?
'Cause I have some money.
Uh-huh.
Whatever you want.
-[Faith] We're here now. -[Loren] Are we?
-This way or that way? -[indistinct]
Look at here.
[Loren speaking]
-We go this way? -Yeah, we can.
[Loren] Go zigzag through the whole thing.
[Loren] Yeah?
[Faith speaking]
[Loren] Yeah. Let's trade these ones out, right?
Get some ones with some holes in it. Right?
This one?
-How much? -[woman] 170.
[Faith] 170. Yeah...
[laughs]
You must be careful because
we need to spend your money in a good way.
-Yeah, yeah. -Yeah.
-I know. -Okay.
-It's great. -[Loren] Yeah.
Fresh sandals.
[Faith] Thank you.
[in foreign language]
[Loren in English] It's good, right?
Like, in America, things are like three to four times the price.
[Faith] Yeah.
[Loren] This market is amazing.
It's got everything you could ever want.
Authentic food, housewares, clothing, everything.
And the best thing about this market is the prices.
-You want a dress? -Oh.
It looks like sexy, down-shoulder.
Oh, yeah?
For the first time in my life,
I can afford to just go out and buy my girlfriend
whatever she wants, a pair of shoes,
and spend money the whole day.
It's too sexy?
Sexy the better.
Two dresses.
-[Faith speaking] -[Loren] Oh.
[Faith speaking]
[Loren speaking]
It's like drag money.
You just crumple it up and you throw it at people.
This is just one more reason why
starting life with Faith in the Philippines
would be a great idea.
I could financially be stable for once,
and I could just pay for whatever she needs,
and we'd both just be happy.
[Faith speaking]
[Loren speaking]
-[in foreign language] -[in English]
-Yeah. It's fine. -It's okay?
[Loren] Whichever three you want.
-[man in foreign language] -[Faith in English] Yes.
[in foreign language]
[man speaking]
[in English] Loren is generous to me.
It's very special for me because, you know,
I never had a man buy me things.
[in foreign language]
[in English] But he's just said he has no money,
and now he's spending like crazy at the market.
That worries me about our future together.
[Loren] This is great.
-[Niles] Hey, you'll. -[Nikael] Hey, Niles.
[Niles] I'm ready for some action tonight.
I hope you guys are, too.
[Nikael] Yes, sir.
[Niles] So it's just the two of you guys?
I imagine this campaign is gonna be
a little bit more linear than usual.
Hopefully.
Hello. My name is Niles Valentine.
I'm 27 years old, and I was born and raised
right here in Mobile, Alabama.
And what is your name?
Nice to meet you.
And who are you?
I am Rudolph [indistinct].
Okay. Well, if you say so.
I'm really into role-playing and fantasy games
because you can do anything.
You can make your own rules.
You can play any character.
Why, yes, I do.
But why do you need to know?
One of the reasons I'm obsessed with gaming
is because I love symbiosis.
Is that... is that... is that a word that, um,
people are gonna mostly understand?
People coming together to become
more than the sum of their...
the sum of their parts.
To make something impressive.
[Nikael] Twelve.
Okay, so they allow you into the city.
Growing up,
I always knew that I was different.
I had difficulty in school.
And I couldn't get along with people.
It got to a point where they finally said,
"Okay, let's see what's going on here?"
And that's when we found out
that I had autism spectrum disorder.
It's... it's hard to describe,
if you're not autistic yourself,
just how painful it can be, both emotionally and mentally.
In most cases, it affects your ability
to grasp social nuances,
and I can be very blunt.
So It's difficult for me
to have normal relationships with people.
Anyone want it? Any...
[beeping]
So that right there, for me,
that feels worse than having a hammer to the head.
Due to my autism...
And I have to be a little bit more careful
when it comes to noises, to lights.
The electricity, I hear that little
[mimics whirring] sound
every time we turn on the lights,
and I also smell pretty much everything, you know?
I can smell the acrylic from the paint,
the wax on the floor.
That table's mahogany over there,
'cause that's a very distinct smell.
So any one thing
could cause me to be overstimulated.
Hey. Good morning, Braylin.
Hey, good morning, Niles.
Hey, Bethany. How you doing?
[Bethany] Good morning, Niles. How are you?
-I'm still here. -[Braylin laughs]
For the most part.
-It's good to see you. -It's good to see you, too.
-[Bethany] Have a good day. -[Niles] You too.
I've always loved standing up for people just like myself.
Helping them become the best that they could be.
That's the reason why I love my job
as a peer advocate.
Hey, Lynn.
Morning, Niles. How you doing?
I'm still here, for the most part.
So I guess I'm doing good.
[chuckles] Excellent.
Hi, Gary. How you doing?
I'm doing great. How about you?
I'm still here, for the most part.
Repetition, for me...
I usually consider repetition a good thing
because there's security.
The security and the status quo.
Hey, so apparently,
we're still paying for this,
and we're renewing this contract.
Oh, wow.
[Bethany] Well, that's a good thing.
And as you guys know, the trip's coming up,
so someone...
We're gonna have to either, A,
takeover the assistive direct--
Assistive technology class...
--[Bethany] Mmm. Okay. -...or we're just gonna have to postpone it.
[Bethany] Mmm-hmm. Okay. That's no problem.
Yeah. [chuckles] So are you ready?
Define ready, 'cause...
[chuckles] Oh, my God.
Matilda is my girlfriend.
She is 23 years old, she lives in Ghana,
and we've been dating for the last two years.
I met Matilda on social media.
She just entered my DMs out of nowhere.
At first, I thought it was too good to be true.
Because she's very beautiful.
When she smiles, it's...
It... it... it...
It does make you feel a type of way,
not just because of her beauty, either.
Given what all I've been through,
I didn't think love was possible for me.
But I truly love Matilda.
Me and Matilda talk every day if we can.
We could just sit and stare at each other,
and I'll be... and I will be having fun.
But more importantly, I explained to Matilda
that I suffer from autism spectrum disorder.
And she says that she accepts me for who I am.
She makes me feel that
I'm someone worthy of having a marriage,
of having a family, of having happiness.
And, you know, that's really all I have ever wanted.
So finally, in one week, I'm going to Ghana
to meet her for the very first time in person.
It's gonna feel so good
to, like, actually hold her face in my hands.
I am. I know to temper my expectations,
but sometimes you just can't help that.
[Braylin chuckles]
I am thinking about, you know,
bringing her over here to America.
Right now?
-[Niles chuckles] Not right this instant. -[chuckles] Okay.
We're still discussing that.
But she wants to get married on this trip.
[Braylin] Wow. Now I'm kind of freaked out.
-[Bethany] You got us a little worried here. -[laughs] Yeah.
Around five months ago,
I... couldn't wait anymore.
I just... I proposed to Matilda over the phone.
I was so happy when she said yes,
but things are going quite quickly here.
To my surprise, she has gone full steam ahead
and is planning everything for a wedding
during my trip to Ghana,
and it's stressing me out.
Why is she trying to rush the process
of getting married so soon?
Like, why she don't want to wait
till you'll be together.
I just think that it's a cultural thing.
She's getting pressure from outside.
However, I would like to wait.
Because I need to meet her first.
I need to go through the necessary steps
in the process of getting to, you know,
physically know her,
and then,
you know, we proceed from there.
And does she know that?
I'm going to be honest with you.
That might be something that I have to tell her
once we sit down and we can look each other
in the eyes.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
[woman] Time out.
Are you afraid to tell her no?
-Or scared to tell her no? -[Niles] Mm-hmm.
Like, "No, let's not get married right now."
[Niles] That's just it. You know...
to tell you the truth, Braylon,
I-- I am.
I believe that Matilda is the love of my life.
And I'm worried that if I tell Matilda
that we have to postpone the wedding,
she'll just end things right here, right now.
[Braylon] I think you need to have
a real honest conversation with Matilda
and let her know that, "Hey, when I come over there,
it's just to see you.
It's to spend time with you. It's to get to know you more.
It's not to get married."
I know it's only fair that she knows
before I get to-- get to Ghana.
I just hope that she understands
because if I lost
the only woman that I've ever truly loved...
I-- it would devastate me.
It would tear me apart.
[dramatic music playing]
[Veah] I'm really excited, actually,
to, like, meet him.
I mean, we've been talking
for a year almost on the phone.
[hip-hop music playing]
[Veah] But I'm nervous
because Sunny doesn't know
that I'm bringing my ex-boyfriend Rory
to South Africa with me.
-[water splashing] -[Sunny speaking]
And it could mess up everything.
[chuckles]
[tense music playing]
[Brian] I'm upset, I guess,
'cause I feel like I'm being judged.
That's [bleep] up.
[Ingrid speaking in Portuguese]
♪♪ Sunshine ♪
♪♪ Gonna make your day ♪
♪♪ Sunshine ♪
♪♪ Gonna make your day ♪
♪♪ Sunshine ♪
-♪♪♪ Gonna make your day ♪ - [woman] ♪ Ah ha ♪
♪♪ Sunshine ♪
[Veah] I'm leaving in less than a week
for South Africa
to meet my boyfriend, Sunny, for the first time.
I'm really excited, actually, to just, like, meet him.
I mean, we've been talking
for a year almost on the phone.
Hi, mamas.
But I'm nervous
because Sunny doesn't know
that I'm bringing my ex-boyfriend Rory
on a trip with me.
And when he finds out,
it could mess up everything.
But I think it's going to be fine.
I mean, I like to think on the positive side.
[phone ringing]
[Veah] Hi, babe.
-[Sunny] Hi. -How are you?
I'm good. How are you, baby?
How was your work? You came from work now?
Yeah. It was a good day.
It was busy.
I work as a physical therapist,
and I've been picking up more hours
and working through lunch for the trip,
but that creates some problems
between me and Sunny.
He's definitely expressed that he feels neglected.
Um, I'm really tired,
and I'm gonna go take a shower.
-No, 'cause-- -Please.
But please.
Okay, fine, you can come.
-But my phone cannot get wet. -Thank you.
Thank you so much.
[Sunny speaking]
[Veah] It's really hard to be connected
when you're 8,400 Niles away
from the person you want to be with.
[water splashing]
[Veah] So me and Sunny find ways
to keep our relationship alive.
And sometimes that's...
video chatting...
[laughing]
I do.
[chuckles]
-[dog whimpering] -[Sunny speaking]
[Veah chuckling]
Well, we can take a shower together very soon.
[Sunny speaking]
I'm excited to see you soon.
Me too. I'm so super excited to see you.
[Veah] Mm-hmm.
[Sunny speaking]
The plans we've been talking about,
we're going to do everything.
[both chuckle]
Does your parents know
that I'm going to be staying with you
in the hotel?
Okay, I haven't told this thing about it.
You know how my families are.
[Veah] Yeah.
Sunny is born and raised Muslim,
but I've definitely met stricter...
Muslims.
In their culture, drinking is not okay.
But Sunny does go out drinking into clubs
and things like that.
When I get to South Africa,
he's going to stay with me in a hotel for privacy
'cause he has a roommate.
But Sunny's parents are pretty strict,
so I don't know what they're going to think
about our arrangement.
[Sunny] I'm going to tell them when you are here, but...
Okay.
[Veah] Does your parents want you to be
with a Muslim girl?
[Sunny speaking]
I never bring this conversation
with you before
because I don't know how you're going to feel.
So you want me to become Muslim?
Like, is that what you're trying to say?
-[tense music playing] -Uh...
I don't want you to become Muslim,
I will ask you
because that is my job to do.
If you're asking me to become your religion,
then you want me to [chuckling] become your religion.
I definitely believe in God,
but I'm a little skeptical about religion.
Because at one point when I was younger,
I was adopted
by a foster family,
and that family was very religious.
They forced us to be in the church
that they owned.
We were made to wear dresses and head coverings.
They controlled everything,
literally, when we woke up, when we ate,
like when we went to bed, when we used the bathroom.
The whole situation was traumatizing.
So I would never join a religion
that was forced upon me.
My whole entire family, we've been
Muslim people. So...
I don't want to make problems in our relationship,
especially because I'm already worried
about what's going to happen
when he finds out
about Rory coming to South Africa.
But honestly,
I won't ever change myself to be with somebody.
So as much as I love Sunny,
I won't ever convert for him.
I know.
Okay.
What is your plan?
It's complicated,
but I could see myself living here.
[Faith speaking]
This is difficult because in America,
I'm homeless.
-[dramatic music playing] -Oh.
[electronic folk music playing]
[Loren] So today's been great.
I spent the whole day at the market with Faith.
We really connected. We had a good time.
And then I told Faith
a little bit about my financial situation,
and she seems okay with it.
So I'm pretty relieved.
And now I feel like I'm starting to envision
a life with Faith in the Philippines.
[knocking at door]
Yeah.
-Hi. -Hello.
Come on in. I'm basically ready.
Mama Ding time.
Yeah.
You said Mama Ding lives nearby.
How close is she to us right now?
-She's in the sixth floor. -Okay.
[tense music playing]
And she lives in the sixth floor,
-Are you ready? -[Loren] I'm ready.
[Faith] Okay. Go.
-So excited. -Let's go.
Yeah.
[Faith speaking]
[Faith speaking in Filipino]
[Faith in English] Hello.
-[Loren] Hello. -[Mama Ding] Hello.
-Hi. -And this is Loren, my boyfriend.
-Hi. Hello. Welcome. -Hi.
-So nice to meet you. -Nice to meet you.
And thank you for coming.
-Yeah. -So have a seat.
I know that Mama Ding is an important person to Faith,
so getting to meet her,
it's a really big deal.
Try this.
We call this Chicken Adobo.
-[Loren] Yeah. That's what I thought it was. -[Mama Ding] Yes. Yeah.
-You try that. -[Loren] Yeah.
And red rice.
And this is our vegetable.
[Faith] Thank you.
Eat rice.
-No, I don't like eat rice. -Why?
-[Faith] I'm on diet. -[Mama Ding] No.
Yeah. While Loren is here,
I need to be sexy in his eyes.
-Oh, really? Just a little bit. -[Loren] Uh-huh. No--
-Okay. -[Mama Ding chuckles]
[Mama Ding speaking in Filipino]
[in English] So where have you been this afternoon?
-The market, right? -The market?
-Quiapo? -[Faith] Yes.
-[Mama Ding] You have lots of people there. -[Loren] Mmm.
-Mm-hmm. -[Loren] Yeah, it's busy.
Now you meet in person,
so how you get to know each other?
What, we spent yesterday, right?
And today and...
hopefully she likes me.
[chuckles]
[Mama Ding] Yeah.
You love her?
Of course.
I tell you I love you.
-Yeah. You do. -Everyday.
-Really? Wow. -[Loren] Yes. Of course.
He's been talking everyday.
-Yeah. -Everyday. Mm-hmm.
That's good.
Yeah. [chuckles]
[Loren chuckles]
So...
what is your plan?
My plan for...
Your plan for... Faith.
Like, it's complicated.
-It's complicated? -Right? Right?
So...
there's an idea where I don't just go home.
I just stay here somehow.
[tense music playing]
I could see myself living here.
Mmm?
[Loren] What do you mean, why?
Part of planning our future together, right?
I mean, the cost of living is lower.
[Faith speaking]
Mmm.
It's a big shock for me.
He always knew that I hoped to move to the U.S.
and he never told me
he wanted to live here instead.
So...
[Mama Ding speaking]
But the issue is how?
Because in America, I'm homeless.
[tense music playing]
-[exclaims] -[Loren] I don't make enough money
to afford to live anywhere.
Oh.
[speaking in Portuguese]
Ingrid doesn't know the details of...
my lifestyle before the gunshot,
but I guess that time is now to tell her.
[instrumental music playing]
[Ingrid speaking in Portuguese]
[speaking in Portuguese]
[Brian in English] Apparently, there was
a miscommunication somewhere
because I'm obviously 51,
and I never told her that I was younger.
So I'm not really sure why she thought that.
But either way,
I don't think five years is a big difference.
I mean, for me, age is just a number.
I mean, I'm still the same guy
that she's been with
for the last two years talking to.
It doesn't change anything for me.
[speaking in Portuguese]
[Brian chuckles]
[Brian whistles]
[Brian in English] Even though me and Ingrid have
been talking for two years,
I never told her the whole story
of how I became paralyzed.
She knows
that I was in an accident.
She doesn't know the details of...
my lifestyle before the gunshot.
I've been worried
about sharing my past with Ingrid,
but I guess that the time is now to tell her.
[Brian speaking in Portuguese]
[ominous music playing]
No. No.
[ominous music playing]
[Brian speaking in English] Life for me,
when I was a dealer, was, uh,
a little bit exciting,
even though it's ridiculous to say that.
You become that guy, right?
The drug dealer guy, the popular guy,
and then you like that lifestyle.
My family didn't approve of it,
and I didn't give a damn.
And I didn't talk to my mom for probably...
[sniffles]
[voice trembling] three years.
But I was making money,
more money than all of them put together.
[sniffles]
So how can I say no?
I should have said no, but I didn't have that--
I didn't have that strength.
[speaking in Portuguese]
Mm-mm.
[chuckles nervously]
[Matilda speaking on phone]
I've... I've missed you a lot too.
Hmm, okay.
I really want to tell Matilda
that we need to postpone the wedding,
but I just don't know
if she's gonna take it well or not.
[instrumental music playing]
[bell dings]
[Niles] Hi, pick up.
-Thank you. -[clerk] Yeah. Thank you.
In less than a week,
I'm going to be traveling across the ocean
to Ghana to meet Matilda.
[instrumental music playing]
I can't exactly say
that I've been this excited for anything else in my life.
I love her and I can't wait to see her,
although my wallet may never be the same again.
I've been doing deliveries
a lot more recently
to save up for this trip.
After I get off my day job, usually I do deliveries
to make a little bit of extra money,
'cause I know for a fact
that I'm going to spend at least $3,000
on this-- on this trip.
Between the hotel bookings, the flight,
and if the wedding actually happens,
there's a lot of other expenses
to deal with.
So apparently in their culture,
the bride price is
the price that you pay to the bride's family
for them essentially allowing you
to marry their daughter.
But I don't even understand
how much I'm supposed to be paying.
This is all part of why
I can't get married on this trip. Because...
in addition to a wedding being an expense
that I don't quite think I can afford right this instant,
I do think we need to spend some time together
before we just commit ourselves
to each other for the rest of our lives.
You know, that could be a very long time.
-You got it? -[woman] Yes. Got it.
-[Niles] Okay. Enjoy your meal. -[woman] Thank you.
Thank you. You too. Have a good day.
[Niles] Okay.
I really want to tell Matilda,
but every time Matilda brings up the wedding...
I get overwhelmed
Masking is something that some autistic people do
to try and mirror what we think
is the norm in that situation.
For most of my life,
when I tell the blunt truth,
people have gotten mentally and emotionally hurt.
And as a result,
if I feel like a confrontation is headed my way,
I tend to withhold the truth.
It's a lot less trouble. It's a lot less pain.
At one point, it was an active decision,
but now I've just programmed myself to do that.
If you know you're going to get shocked by that fence,
you don't touch it,
and that's what I think masking is.
But I've been doing a lot of thinking,
and I think she should know exactly how I feel
before I get to Ghana.
I just don't know
if she's gonna take it well or not.
[phone chiming]
Hi, Matilda.
[Niles] I'm door-dashing right now,
but I've got a moment to talk to you.
I always have time to talk to you.
[Matilda speaking]
I'm good. It's busy.
A lot is happening.
[Niles] I've missed you a lot, too.
And soon enough, we won't have
to miss each other like this.
I look forward to it.
And I'm going to treat you like a queen.
So you know what this means?
We're going to be royalty.
[Matilda chuckling] Yeah.
[Niles] I know.
Hmm, okay.
We're all super-duper excited.
But we only do this once, right?
-We're only going to have this one wedding. -Yeah.
So you know what that means?
We might need a little bit more time
to plan that out.
[Matilda speaking]
[tense music playing]
[Niles] Um...
[Matilda speaking]
[Niles] I want to make you happy.
We have to make sure
that we do it as good and as great as possible,
something that...
I want God to show that as an example of a wedding.
[chuckles]
I love you.
No, no, no. I love you more than-- more.
[Niles] It is difficult
for me to be truthful with Matilda.
I tried to tell her that...
you know, we should slow down.
But then I go through all the scenarios in my head.
Me telling her we need to wait,
she's going to feel like she's being attacked,
she's being rejected,
just like [chuckling] everybody else
who I have tried to tell the truth.
Wait, wait, I love you more.
[chuckles]
We'll be at this for a few hours
-if [chuckling] you let us. -[Matilda] No, I love you more.
I think this is one of those conversations
that it's just--
it's just better to have it in person.
I love Matilda.
I want to spend the rest of my life with her.
I know that I'm going to have to come clean in Ghana,
and I know she's not going to be happy.
All I can do is pray that she understands.
I really should probably get back to deliveries.
I love you.
I'm going to kiss you right here.
-Bye. -Bye.
[phone beeps]
[instrumental music playing]
[woman] So...
how was your guys' first night together?
Did he come off as a virgin?
No.
So I wonder how he knew what to do then.
[Tigerlily] I mean, don't...
men just naturally know
what to do in the bedroom?
Like caveman-type stuff?
[speaking in Arabic]
-[Adnan speaking in Arabic] -[man speaking]
[Adnan speaking]
[pensive music playing]
-In America, I'm homeless. -[Mama Ding exclaims]
I don't make enough money to afford to live anywhere.
Oh.
Yeah.
[Faith] Loren told me that it's very expensive
to rent alone in the US,
but I didn't think he was homeless.
[tense music playing]
[Faith] It worries me
that he is such a bad place financially.
[Faith speaking]
[speaking in Filipino]
Here in the Philippines,
a lot of I know people no work.
-[Loren] Right. -You know, the salary is not good.
It's not enough for the family.
[Loren] Like, if that were the plan that we chose,
-I could make it work. -[Mama Ding] Mm-hmm.
[Loren speaking]
'Cause I could just do a computer job in America.
-[Mama Ding exclaims] -I'd make American money...
-[Mama Ding] Oh. Yeah. -...in the Philippines.
So I'd be making like
-$16, $17 American dollars an hour... -Uh-huh.
...which would be enough to, like, pay rent here.
[Mama Ding] Oh.
[Loren] So I'm gonna have to hit the ground running
-really hard. And whatever I do do... -Yeah.
...is gonna have to be for Faith,
because we have to be happy.
I realized that everything I revealed today
about my finances
and my want to leave America is
a lot for Faith to take in right now.
But I've put a lot of thought into this.
So one of my ideas is
I get a computer job in the US
and I just do it in the Philippines.
So I have some IT training.
I can answer a phone and take phone calls,
and that'll be enough money for both of us, no problem.
And if that doesn't work out,
I could do pest control.
I mean, I can do fast food.
I can drive a truck.
There are so many opportunities.
I don't know if Faith feels differently about me now,
but I did sacrifice a lot to get here.
I hope she can see and appreciate that.
So...
how you feel about that?
You know what?
Um... I'm nervous.
-[Mama Ding] Mm-hmm. -[Faith] Yeah. But, um...
I know that, uh,
I know Loren is so hard-working person.
[Mama Ding] Mm-hmm.
[Faith] I just want to find
who will be the person to, you know, accept me
for who I am
as a transgender man.
[Loren] Yeah.
It's okay. And I found you.
-[uplifting music playing] -[Mama Ding] Mm-hmm.
Because I accept you for who you are.
-[Faith] Yes. -Yes.
[Loren chuckles]
I don't feel like Mama Ding thinks
I'm the best option
because, you know, I told her I was homeless.
But at least she knows
that I accept Faith for who she is.
[exhales]
And that's kind of what her biggest thing was.
So if I fill that the biggest box Faith has,
but I feel like I answered
the biggest questions correctly.
[voice breaking]
[crying]
[Loren] Yeah.
-And this is it. -[Loren] This is it.
-Yes, and we meet. -[Faith] Yeah. Finally.
-It's my pleasure. -[Loren] Mm-hmm.
-I'm so sorry. -[Mama Ding laughing]
[Loren] It's okay.
[Faith] I was not expecting
to stay here in the Philippines,
but I really care for Loren,
and I know he cares for me, too.
[speaking in Filipino]
[in English] ...love is all that matters.
[Faith speaking in Filipino]
[in English] It's not easy to hear
about all of this,
but I'm relieved
that he's finally being honest
about his money.
I just hope there are no more secrets.
-Yeah. -[all laughing]
Yeah.
[dance music playing]
[speaking in Arabic]
[man speaking in Arabic]
[Thaer speaking in Arabic]
[Adnan] Bro!
[man 2 grunts]
Today is wedding day
and my brother, my cousin,
my hairstylist,
helping me to get ready.
[man speaking]
[Thaer speaking]
[Adnan speaking]
...flowers, fire show.
I'm so excited to see this day.
-[Adnan speaking in Arabic] -[Thaer speaking in Arabic]
[Adnan speaking in Arabic]
[Thaer speaking]
[Adnan speaking]
-[Thaer speaking] -[hairdresser laughing]
-[man 2 speaking] -[man speaking]
[retching]
[woman] Do you already have, like,
your skincare on and everything?
-[Tigerlily] Yeah. -Okay.
So...
how was your guys' first night together?
It was nice.
Did you guys do it more than once?
Because, you know, he is a young whippersnapper.
-[both laughing] -So,
I assume, like, just kept on going
and going and going,
and then pretty soon you're like,
"All right, I need a break."
I didn't need a break.
-[woman] You didn't need a break? -[all laughing]
All right, all right.
Did he come off as a virgin?
No.
So I wonder how he knew what to do then.
[Tigerlily exhales] Well, obviously,
he's not, like, born in a cave.
I think porn is illegal here.
-Is it? -[hairdresser] I think so.
I don't know where Adnan learned to do...
what he does.
I mean, don't men just know
what to do in the bedroom? Like...
aren't they just born with it?
Like, isn't it like caveman-type stuff
you just naturally know?
[woman] We have 45 minutes until you have to be ready.
Okay, now you can
do your eyes.
-Okay. -'Cause we're a little bit behind schedule.
I'm going to get dressed in my dress.
You can't leave.
Oh, [bleep].
What about if I get dressed in here?
I'm not technically gone.
[Tigerlily] That won't work.
So we'll have to ask you
to leave [chuckling] for a second.
[woman] Oh, if you have a job, then it's okay.
No, 'cause Cruz-- 'cause he's--
Cruz has a job.
-The hair person has a job... -[man speaking]
...and that's not okay.
[Cruz speaking]
[Tigerlily] This is just all sorts of confusing.
I think he's trying to bring,
you know, like...
Okay, well, then Adnan needs to tell me so that I know
that the rules can be bent,
-because I am just trying to make sure... -Confuse.
[chuckling] ...that...
It's really annoying me now.
Um...
-[woman] So, problem solved. -Okay.
Okay, we're good.
Okay, well, I'm gonna get dressed.
-Okay, yeah. -Yes.
Put this away.
Clearly, something is getting lost in translation
when it comes to Adnan's rules,
and I'm not really sure
why some things are okay and some things aren't.
But I'll have
the rest of my life to figure it out,
and I refuse to let anything bother me
on this special day.
[woman] Oh, this is pretty.
Missy, look at me, towards me.
[man speaking in Arabic]
[Tigerlily giggles]
[Tigerlily] I have always dreamed
of wearing a big, white wedding dress
as I marry my Prince Charming.
[hairdresser] Wow, that looks beautiful.
[Tigerlily chuckles] Thank you.
My heart is racing,
and I'm finally ready to go and see
my gorgeous husband
in his suit.
[speaking in Arabic]
[Adnan speaking in Arabic]
-[man speaking in Arabic] -[Adnan] Yeah.
[man 3 speaking]
[Adnan speaking]
Now I'm nervous.
I can't wait to see her.
Hairstyle and makeup
and dress and everything together,
it surprise me now.
[lively piano music playing]
-[woman] Okay, ready? -[Tigerlily] Yeah.
[people speaking indistinctly]
[speaking in English]
[Tigerlily] When I see Adnan in his tuxedo,
I am like, how lucky am I?
I dream at this moment
for all my life.
Tigerlily with the white dress
like angel.
She is so amazing.
[Adnan speaking off-screen]
-[woman speaking] -[Tigerlily speaking]
[Adnan speaking in Arabic]
[Adnan speaking in English]
[Tigerlily speaking]
[Adnan speaking]
-[Tigerlily speaking] -[car honking incessantly]
[Adnan speaking]
[honking continues]
[Arabic music playing]
[Tigerlily] Heading to this wedding celebration
is so overwhelming.
I just hope this is everything that I've imagined it to be.
[Adnan speaking]
[man speaking in Arabic]
[man speaking]
[Tigerlily speaking]
[all cheering]
[doorbell dings]
[Veah] Even though Sunny doesn't like that we're friends,
my ex-boyfriend Rory is
traveling with me to South Africa.
Oh, my gosh. Hi, Rory. [chuckles]
[Rory] What's up, dude?
How excited are you to meet Sunny after all this?
[Veah] I'm really excited.
But we've had our bad times,
our fights, you know?
[Rory] I am nervous
to see how this is all going to play out.
[dramatic music playing]
[dog barking]
[bell dinging]
[birds chirping]
[Veah] Hi, Zira.
Gonna go in? [chuckles]
I can't believe that I'm leaving
to South Africa tomorrow
to meet my boyfriend, Sunny.
I have so much to do, and I'm just stressing out.
I haven't even packed yet.
Okay. Come here, mamas.
[Veah clicks her tongue]
Let's get your little collar on.
Thankfully, my ex-boyfriend Rory is
traveling with me to South Africa,
and he just arrived in town.
I'm excited. [chuckles]
Diapers, treats.
-Zira, we need your leash, baby. -[doorbell dings]
Oh, my gosh. Hi, Rory. [chuckles]
What's up, dude? How are you doing?
Good. Come on in.
We're getting Zira ready to go to the sitter.
Yeah?
-You don't have to take your shoes off. You're fine. -Hi, mamas.
[Zira whines]
[Veah] Come on, mamas.
Today, I have to drop off Zira at the dog sitter.
[Zira whines]
[Veah speaking]
I adopted Zira from a trailer park I used to live in.
She's my family member, you know?
Leaving Zira is really overwhelming.
So even though Sunny doesn't like that we're friends,
I feel like I need Rory to come with me for support.
[Rory] Have you been away from her for this long before?
-No, I've never been away from her. -Yeah.
[chuckling] "Get a daddy out of it"?
[Veah chuckles]
-[Zira growls] -[both chuckle]
I've known Veah for just about six years now.
We've dated for about two and a half years,
and we went our separate ways
because we were just looking
for different things in life. Um...
But I'd say she's definitely one of my best friends.
I went to go get a spray tan.
-Uh-huh. -Because...
I just want to be a little darker
for South Africa.
I was, like, laughing,
because I was, like,
telling the spray-tan lady how you used to spray tan me.
-Remember that tan? -[both laughing]
We had, like, everything,
and you put the tan in the bathroom,
and you used to spray me.
Cracking up.
Dude, that was the weirdest thing I've ever done.
Paint you orange.
I was not orange.
[chuckling] You turned the [bleep] bed orange.
[both laughing]
[Rory] I'm just amazed how I got roped into this.
She's like, "You want to go to South Africa
and help me meet this kid?"
[chuckling] I thought it was, like,
just the oddest thing.
But I said yes to her
because I've traveled with Veah
a few times cross-country,
and I know her
and her ways.
She'd definitely get lost without me.
Like, I would worry for her safety.
If it was a horror movie, she'd be the first one to die.
[chuckles]
[David] Hey.
[Veah] Hi.
How are you?
-Got a special delivery for you. -Yeah?
Hey, Zira.
So I brought some things she will need.
Okay.
I have her toys. I have her sunscreen.
If she goes in the sun, please put it on her
'cause she does burn.
Wait, sunscreen when she goes in the sun?
-Yes. -[David] Okay.
Zira is really high-maintenance.
She only drinks bottled water.
Her favorite snacks is cucumbers,
and I brought her cucumbers. They're in here.
Don't let her sleep with you. Put her in her kennel, please.
-I don't want you to roll on her. -Okay.
Oh, her diapers. Put a diaper on her
if you're going to have friends over.
I know they say that dogs take after their owners,
but I am not high-maintenance.
Rory says I am, but I'm not.
I just know what I want.
Doesn't make me high-maintenance.
Come here, baby.
Zira, Mommy's gonna miss you.
Like, this is my whole world right here.
Please, please take care of her.
[David] Of course. I got you.
[Veah] Okay. Bye, Mamas.
I gotta go so I don't start crying.
Bye, Zira.
-Bye. -[David] Bye. Have a good trip.
Wave bye to Mommy, Zira.
[pleasant music playing]
Can I get a 12-ounce Americano with cream?
[clerk] Mm-hmm.
-[Veah] I miss Zira already. -Oh, I bet.
-She's probably a nervous wreck without you. -Yeah.
Has anyone come and visited you
since you moved down here?
-You mean from my family? -Mm-hmm.
Well, I tried to get my mom to come out, but...
um...
she didn't.
-We had to-- Yeah. -No way.
-That's sad. -Yeah.
It's been a rough few years for her.
Yeah.
Rory's been with me
through a lot of things in life.
He knows all the struggles I've been through
with my family,
and he was there for me
during the worst time of my life.
My brother, Cody, was closest to me
out of all my siblings.
We were only one year apart,
so we were kept together most of the time
in foster care.
We were best friends. We grew up together.
But a few years ago,
my brother was shot and killed by law enforcement.
[melancholic music playing]
Obviously, it's very heartbreaking.
It's very heartbreaking for my family.
Around that time, me and Rory were pregnant,
and we ended up losing our baby.
[sniffles]
A traumatic experience like that
either makes you closer or it breaks you.
We were coping so differently.
Eventually, we grew apart,
and so we broke up.
But even though our relationship didn't work,
we'll always have a strong bond
after going through that.
How excited are you to meet Sunny after all this?
I'm really excited.
I'm like, "Wow, is this a dream?
-Like, am I actually going to finally meet him?" -[chuckles]
-Pinch me. [chuckles] -Yeah.
But there's been a lot of ups and downs this year.
Like, I mean, we've had a lot of good memories.
Told you we celebrated my birthday together
on video chat.
-Mm-hmm. -That was really sweet and cute.
But I'm really nervous.
He knows I'm going with you, right?
Um...
The answer right now is no.
[tense music playing]
Why?
Because I'm not trying to get into a fight with him
before I go over there.
He can be really cute and really loving
and really caring.
But... we've had our bad times.
He just gets really pissed off.
It's kind of messed up, don't you think?
Yeah.
Like, that side of him, I don't like seeing.
Makes me feel a little uncomfortable
going into...
this situation.
We don't know
what his reaction is going to be
with me being there.
I don't want him freaking out on you in person.
I mean,
I feel like once I get there in person,
I can, like, read his vibe.
So, like, I'll be able to really explain it to him.
[Rory] I'm excited to go to South Africa,
but I am nervous to see
how this is all going to play out.
Her not telling Sunny that I'm coming is
such a crazy thing.
It's like a big thing to be hiding from somebody.
And I've heard a lot about Veah
and Sunny's relationship tonight,
and some of it's a little worrying.
I don't want Veah to get hurt by this kid.
I just want to make sure
you're making the right choice.
And...
[dramatic music playing]
[speaking in Portuguese]
[Brian] I'm very disappointed
to hear this from Ingrid.
I'm hurt by it and offended.
[Loren] I had a good night's sleep,
but I got a text that wasn't my favorite.
[Loren] This has potential to ruin our relationship.
[tense music playing]
[speaking in Portuguese]
[Ingrid] Mmm?
[Ingrid] Mm-hmm.
[speaking in Portuguese]
[Ingrid] Mm-hmm.
[in English] I'm very disappointed to hear this from Ingrid.
I mean, I was hoping because it's ancient history,
it wouldn't be a big deal.
I'm hurt by it and offended
because I know that I've been through a lot
and no way in hell I'm going back to that.
So, I mean, everybody has a past
and...
I'm not ashamed of mine.
I hate the fact that things are so tense
between me and Ingrid right now.
[strains]
When we were still getting to know each other,
I didn't tell Ingrid about my past
because I always thought
that it would be easier to tell her in person.
I did not expect her
to react the way that she did.
[Brian speaking in Portuguese]
[pleasant music playing]
[exhales sharply] [speaking indistinctly]
[in English] I'm upset, I guess, 'cause I feel like I'm being judged.
The comments that got to me were,
"You were a drug dealer before.
You can revert back to that, like, tomorrow.
If you were walking, maybe you'd be selling drugs.
Maybe you're not selling drugs now
because you're not walking."
That's [bleep] up,
you know?
But I understand it is a lot to take in.
So I'm going to be patient.
I'm going to give her some thought.
I'm going to give her time. And, like, work through it.
We got time. I'm here.
[Ingrid sighs]
[Ingrid speaking off-screen]
[tense music playing]
[Loren] Had a good night's sleep,
but I got a text
that wasn't my favorite.
[Loren] So, about a week ago,
I was out partying with one of my friends.
You know, she spends the night, it's great,
and then in the middle of the night,
she was... went [bleep] me.
And I got a text from her this morning,
turns out she has gonorrhea of the throat,
which means I most likely have gonorrhea of the penis.
That's a fun little thing.
So I've never gotten a disease from anyone.
I usually don't get sick, ever.
But...
my penis is upset.
You know, a little discharge.
That definitely happened
since I've been here in the Philippines.
So now, today, we're going to deal with that fun fact.
I'm really nervous to tell Faith about this.
I don't know if she fully understands
that I haven't been monogamous.
I always planned on talking to Faith
about having an open relationship
once I got to the Philippines,
but this probably isn't the best way
to broach that conversation.
The timing probably isn't the best, right?
Being in the Philippines and getting a disease,
making progress with Faith,
this could be a huge step back.
I want that Philippine dream,
and I'm trying to make it come true,
but I'm not batting a thousand right now.
After just having a conversation
about me moving to the Philippines
because of my bad financial situation,
the next day being, "Oh, I have an STD
from someone I slept with recently",
I'm freaking out.
This has potential to ruin our relationship.
[Adnan] Next time on Before the 90 Days...
[Adnan speaking]
[people cheering]
Shouldn't it be called "Mahrajan Adnan
and Tigerlily?
[Niles] I'm going there. This is it.
Here I come, Matilda.
It's a big airport.
Autism really hampers me in social situations.
I'm concerned about stepping into a new culture.
[speaking in foreign language]
Oh!
[Matilda speaking off-screen]
So...
[Brian speaking in Portuguese]
[speaking in Portuguese]
[Rayne speaking]
...because your blindness,
it's just not a normal occurrence.
-What? -Like, the whole thing is
spiritually connected,
because if you could see, I wouldn't be here.
[man] I love her deeply, but...
And conversations like this
gives me a great deal of worry and concern.
-[Loren] So we can't kiss. -[Faith] Mmm?
Well, I have gonorrhea.
Yeah.
[Faith speaking off-screen]
He lied to me.
[Veah speaking]
[Veah] I still haven't told Sunny
that Rory's here with me.
And I'm honestly just flipping.
Like, I don't know what to do.
So much anxiety.
[exhales]
We don't have a plan.
Sunny could easily see Rory
and be a complete [bleep] show.
Everything could go south.
Come this way. Come over here.
-We're fine. -Are you sure?
-Because I can literally see out that door. -Quit freaking out.
[Rory speaking]