1 00:00:12,929 --> 00:00:15,056 [traditional music plays] 2 00:00:15,765 --> 00:00:17,308 [birds calling] 3 00:00:17,392 --> 00:00:18,935 [monkeys screeching] 4 00:00:28,069 --> 00:00:29,404 [phone rings] 5 00:00:33,283 --> 00:00:34,617 Hello, ex-husband. 6 00:00:35,493 --> 00:00:38,121 Hello, ex-wife. How's it going? 7 00:00:38,204 --> 00:00:39,039 Oh, you know. 8 00:00:39,122 --> 00:00:43,334 Every day without you is a day filled with sunshine and lollipops. 9 00:00:43,418 --> 00:00:44,669 Yeah, same here. 10 00:00:45,045 --> 00:00:46,963 Did I ever tell you, after the divorce, 11 00:00:47,047 --> 00:00:48,590 that my hair stopped falling out? 12 00:00:48,673 --> 00:00:50,550 [chuckles] That's good. 13 00:00:50,633 --> 00:00:52,719 Your hair was the only thing about you worth saving. 14 00:00:52,802 --> 00:00:53,636 Mm. 15 00:00:53,720 --> 00:00:57,307 How did I not put a pillow over your head when I had the chance? 16 00:00:57,390 --> 00:00:58,391 [laughs] 17 00:00:58,767 --> 00:01:01,269 You didn't have the balls. What do you want? 18 00:01:01,728 --> 00:01:03,563 Well, something came up with Mindy. 19 00:01:04,439 --> 00:01:06,357 - Is she all right? - Yeah, yeah, she's fine. 20 00:01:06,441 --> 00:01:07,441 What's goin' on? 21 00:01:07,484 --> 00:01:09,110 I'm not sure if you know this or not, 22 00:01:09,194 --> 00:01:11,029 but your daughter has got herself mixed up 23 00:01:11,112 --> 00:01:13,364 with a guy that's, like, twice her age. 24 00:01:13,615 --> 00:01:15,492 Oh, that! Yeah, of course I know. 25 00:01:16,117 --> 00:01:17,160 Say "Aah." 26 00:01:17,410 --> 00:01:18,244 Say what? 27 00:01:18,328 --> 00:01:20,163 - Aaah... - Not talking to you. 28 00:01:20,455 --> 00:01:22,874 Wait, she told you? When did she tell you? 29 00:01:22,957 --> 00:01:23,957 Oh, I don't know. 30 00:01:24,209 --> 00:01:25,293 About a year ago. 31 00:01:25,752 --> 00:01:27,545 You've known about this for a year? 32 00:01:27,629 --> 00:01:29,506 Did you ever think about telling me? 33 00:01:30,131 --> 00:01:32,092 Mm... No, never crossed my mind. 34 00:01:32,592 --> 00:01:34,886 So... what exactly is your concern? 35 00:01:34,969 --> 00:01:36,596 What do you mean, "What is my concern?" 36 00:01:36,679 --> 00:01:37,972 The guy is, like, an old man. 37 00:01:38,264 --> 00:01:39,264 So are you. 38 00:01:39,516 --> 00:01:41,476 Never stopped you from dating younger women. 39 00:01:41,559 --> 00:01:42,894 This is different. 40 00:01:42,977 --> 00:01:43,853 How so? 41 00:01:43,937 --> 00:01:45,188 This is my daughter. 42 00:01:45,271 --> 00:01:46,356 [laughs] Ah! 43 00:01:46,439 --> 00:01:47,732 You're such a hypocrite. 44 00:01:47,816 --> 00:01:49,400 Tell me something I don't know. 45 00:01:49,484 --> 00:01:50,527 Have you met him yet? 46 00:01:50,777 --> 00:01:52,946 No, I'm supposed to have dinner with them tonight. 47 00:01:53,238 --> 00:01:55,573 Well, then, relax. He's a terrific guy. 48 00:01:57,117 --> 00:01:58,117 You've met him? 49 00:01:58,827 --> 00:02:01,204 Uh-huh. Martin Schneider. 50 00:02:01,538 --> 00:02:03,456 Absolutely adores Mindy. 51 00:02:03,623 --> 00:02:04,623 Wait a minute. 52 00:02:04,666 --> 00:02:07,836 You've known about this for a year and you've met the guy? 53 00:02:08,461 --> 00:02:11,047 Look at you connecting the dots. 54 00:02:11,131 --> 00:02:13,383 See, I can't believe she waited so long to tell me. 55 00:02:13,508 --> 00:02:15,927 Maybe your daughter doesn't trust you 56 00:02:16,636 --> 00:02:18,138 with her personal affairs. 57 00:02:18,221 --> 00:02:20,974 Hey, she trusts me, all right? We're close. We're closer than ever. 58 00:02:21,057 --> 00:02:24,310 But she didn't tell you about her boyfriend. 59 00:02:24,769 --> 00:02:25,769 Does that hurt? 60 00:02:26,271 --> 00:02:27,605 A little bit. Yeah. 61 00:02:28,523 --> 00:02:30,942 So this does not creep you out at all? 62 00:02:31,025 --> 00:02:33,278 No. Actually, I'm kind of surprised. 63 00:02:33,653 --> 00:02:35,113 You're being so old-fashioned. 64 00:02:35,196 --> 00:02:36,698 Hey, I'm not old-fashioned! 65 00:02:36,781 --> 00:02:39,159 Matter of fact, a lot of the kids here at my class 66 00:02:39,242 --> 00:02:40,869 say that I'm very, uh... "woke." 67 00:02:41,286 --> 00:02:42,745 [laughs] Uh-huh. 68 00:02:42,829 --> 00:02:45,110 That's right. You're talking to a man who's got no problem 69 00:02:45,165 --> 00:02:47,458 droppin' a deuce in a gender-neutral bathroom. 70 00:02:48,334 --> 00:02:50,128 Oh, thank you for that lovely image. 71 00:02:50,670 --> 00:02:51,546 You're welcome. 72 00:02:51,629 --> 00:02:52,714 [sighs] 73 00:02:52,797 --> 00:02:55,341 Look, Sandy, you can't control her life. 74 00:02:55,425 --> 00:02:59,888 All you can do is be there for her without judgment. 75 00:02:59,971 --> 00:03:01,723 I know that! You don't think I know that? 76 00:03:01,806 --> 00:03:03,600 I just don't want my kid to get hurt. 77 00:03:04,142 --> 00:03:05,351 If she's not thinking ahead, 78 00:03:05,435 --> 00:03:09,189 a couple of years from now, she'll be changing this guy's diapers. 79 00:03:09,689 --> 00:03:12,859 Your real concern should be who's gonna change your diapers. 80 00:03:13,985 --> 00:03:16,696 Says the woman who pees when she laughs. 81 00:03:16,779 --> 00:03:18,573 Your mother warned me not to marry you. 82 00:03:18,656 --> 00:03:22,368 Said you were a lying, cheating scumbag just like your old man. 83 00:03:22,744 --> 00:03:26,998 You are the worst mistake I ever made in my life. 84 00:03:27,415 --> 00:03:28,708 Back at you, fucko. 85 00:03:29,834 --> 00:03:33,338 [speaking Spanish] 86 00:03:33,421 --> 00:03:34,421 [giggles] 87 00:03:40,428 --> 00:03:41,763 [whinnying] 88 00:03:41,846 --> 00:03:43,848 I don't recall him being this big. 89 00:03:43,932 --> 00:03:46,226 You told me you were comfortable around horses. 90 00:03:46,392 --> 00:03:48,144 I'm comfortable betting on them. 91 00:03:48,978 --> 00:03:51,522 Well, you can't turn back now. You bought the outfit. 92 00:03:51,940 --> 00:03:54,317 That's another thing. This was a fun idea in the store, 93 00:03:54,400 --> 00:03:56,903 but I look like Howdy Doody, the later years. 94 00:03:56,986 --> 00:03:58,238 You look great! 95 00:03:58,613 --> 00:04:02,742 There's nothing to worry about. Nancy's a very old and gentle horse. 96 00:04:02,825 --> 00:04:03,825 I'm old and gentle. 97 00:04:03,868 --> 00:04:05,748 See what happens if you try to climb on my back. 98 00:04:06,704 --> 00:04:08,248 Seriously, I would bite you. 99 00:04:08,831 --> 00:04:10,667 Well, just give it a try, okay? 100 00:04:10,750 --> 00:04:13,670 - Louis and Vincent will help you up. - I don't need any help. 101 00:04:15,088 --> 00:04:16,088 Uh... 102 00:04:18,508 --> 00:04:19,508 [grunts] 103 00:04:20,885 --> 00:04:22,512 Oof! Uh... 104 00:04:22,595 --> 00:04:23,596 [horse snorts] 105 00:04:28,017 --> 00:04:29,017 Lord! 106 00:04:33,481 --> 00:04:34,649 [horse whinnies] 107 00:04:35,525 --> 00:04:37,151 Louis, Vincent, a little help. 108 00:04:43,032 --> 00:04:44,158 [neighing] 109 00:04:44,784 --> 00:04:45,952 [grunts] 110 00:04:47,578 --> 00:04:49,664 - Now what? - Just pick up the reins. 111 00:04:50,623 --> 00:04:52,792 And now we go for a nice leisurely ride. 112 00:04:53,584 --> 00:04:55,378 Be sure and put that on my tombstone. 113 00:04:55,461 --> 00:04:57,338 [chuckles] Oh, just give her a little kick. 114 00:04:58,131 --> 00:04:59,131 A kick? 115 00:04:59,173 --> 00:05:00,173 Yeah, a kick. 116 00:05:00,300 --> 00:05:02,552 - You want me to kick the horse? - Yeah, I do. 117 00:05:05,722 --> 00:05:07,932 Nancy, I apologize in advance. 118 00:05:08,975 --> 00:05:10,310 [neighing] 119 00:05:10,560 --> 00:05:11,560 Aah! 120 00:05:13,187 --> 00:05:14,939 Is there a turn signal on this thing? 121 00:05:15,023 --> 00:05:16,316 [Madelyn laughs] 122 00:05:23,823 --> 00:05:25,543 [Norman, in English accent] I feel compelled 123 00:05:25,616 --> 00:05:27,577 to check the lower 40 for stray cattle. 124 00:05:27,660 --> 00:05:28,828 [Madelyn laughs] 125 00:05:37,962 --> 00:05:38,962 [Norman] It's beautiful. 126 00:05:40,048 --> 00:05:41,048 Yeah. 127 00:05:41,549 --> 00:05:43,384 I'm so glad you made the drive up here. 128 00:05:44,052 --> 00:05:45,053 - Me too. - Mm. 129 00:05:45,136 --> 00:05:46,387 Thank you for the invite. 130 00:05:49,015 --> 00:05:51,225 - Can I share something with you? - Of course. 131 00:05:51,476 --> 00:05:53,061 My ass is killing me. 132 00:05:53,936 --> 00:05:55,521 What ass? You don't have an ass. 133 00:05:55,813 --> 00:05:58,733 What are you talking about? I happen to have a very substantial booty. 134 00:05:58,816 --> 00:06:00,234 [laughs] 135 00:06:05,907 --> 00:06:07,116 [sighs] 136 00:06:08,242 --> 00:06:10,642 - Chicken Marsala okay for tonight? - Hang on, let me just... 137 00:06:10,703 --> 00:06:12,789 Hey, remind me to tell you about Beta-Sitosterol. 138 00:06:13,373 --> 00:06:14,207 Beta-what? 139 00:06:14,290 --> 00:06:17,251 Sitosterol. It's a natural prostate supplement. 140 00:06:17,752 --> 00:06:20,213 Uh-huh. And you know about this how? 141 00:06:22,006 --> 00:06:23,006 Well, I... 142 00:06:23,383 --> 00:06:25,676 I told Martin you were having some problems... 143 00:06:25,760 --> 00:06:27,553 down there, and he recommended it. 144 00:06:27,845 --> 00:06:29,305 Really? So then I assume 145 00:06:29,389 --> 00:06:32,100 that your fella's got similar problems down there. 146 00:06:32,642 --> 00:06:35,520 Yes, Dad. My fella does. 147 00:06:36,062 --> 00:06:37,355 He swears by the supplement. 148 00:06:37,438 --> 00:06:40,233 Says it really helps him from having to get up a lot during the night. 149 00:06:40,316 --> 00:06:43,361 Okay. Well, please thank him for me and I'll look into it. 150 00:06:43,694 --> 00:06:45,405 Or you can thank him yourself. 151 00:06:45,488 --> 00:06:46,823 Sure, but not while we're eating. 152 00:06:47,407 --> 00:06:49,700 That's when we'll talk about walk-in bathtubs. 153 00:06:50,410 --> 00:06:52,203 By the way, you tell your mother 154 00:06:52,286 --> 00:06:54,705 about your personal life and you don't tell me. 155 00:06:54,789 --> 00:06:55,915 That hurts my feelings. 156 00:06:56,249 --> 00:06:58,000 - Oh, come on, Dad. - No, no. 157 00:06:58,084 --> 00:07:00,294 No. That's all I have to say on the subject. 158 00:07:03,381 --> 00:07:05,049 [Jude] Uh... Gonna need a minute! 159 00:07:05,716 --> 00:07:06,716 Hm. 160 00:07:07,135 --> 00:07:09,387 - God damn it! - Where are you going? 161 00:07:09,470 --> 00:07:12,974 To use that fucking gender-neutral bathroom at Café Gratitude. 162 00:07:16,853 --> 00:07:18,354 Strange, isn't it? 163 00:07:18,813 --> 00:07:21,232 Well, it's strange and... and wonderful. 164 00:07:22,650 --> 00:07:24,068 It's like no time has passed, 165 00:07:24,152 --> 00:07:28,072 we're just continuing a conversation that we started 50 years ago. 166 00:07:28,406 --> 00:07:30,658 - Dot, dot, dot, dot, dot, dot, dot, dot... - What? 167 00:07:30,741 --> 00:07:32,618 The longest ellipsis in history. 168 00:07:35,371 --> 00:07:36,873 [ducks quacking] 169 00:07:37,331 --> 00:07:38,833 In the meantime, you had a good life? 170 00:07:40,251 --> 00:07:41,878 Yeah, very good. 171 00:07:42,128 --> 00:07:43,128 Ah. 172 00:07:43,629 --> 00:07:44,629 And you? 173 00:07:45,631 --> 00:07:46,631 Can't complain. 174 00:07:49,760 --> 00:07:51,637 Well, actually that's not true, um... 175 00:07:53,222 --> 00:07:55,349 Christopher was sick for a very long time. 176 00:07:57,935 --> 00:07:59,937 My Eileen went through the same thing. 177 00:08:01,147 --> 00:08:03,900 I didn't think there was any more happiness left for me. 178 00:08:06,486 --> 00:08:07,612 I know how you feel. 179 00:08:12,283 --> 00:08:14,202 Some cowboys we are. 180 00:08:15,536 --> 00:08:17,663 Weepin' on the ol' prairie. 181 00:08:25,755 --> 00:08:29,300 So, these ducks. Are they migratory or do they just live here? 182 00:08:29,842 --> 00:08:31,385 You know, indigenous? 183 00:08:35,348 --> 00:08:37,767 - [Madelyn chuckles] - I have a question for you. 184 00:08:37,850 --> 00:08:38,850 Hm? What? 185 00:08:41,229 --> 00:08:43,940 How am I gonna get back on that fucking horse? 186 00:08:53,991 --> 00:08:54,825 [sighs] 187 00:08:54,909 --> 00:08:57,286 Way to go, Mindy. Couldn't pick a rich guy. 188 00:09:04,043 --> 00:09:05,545 [doorbell rings] 189 00:09:05,628 --> 00:09:06,629 [sighs] 190 00:09:09,674 --> 00:09:11,259 Sandy, welcome! 191 00:09:11,968 --> 00:09:12,843 Hi. 192 00:09:12,927 --> 00:09:13,803 Hi! 193 00:09:13,886 --> 00:09:16,722 I'm Martin. Please, come in! 194 00:09:17,890 --> 00:09:19,308 Whew! Nice car. 195 00:09:20,434 --> 00:09:22,228 - Uh... I brought a chardonnay... - Oh! 196 00:09:22,311 --> 00:09:24,164 - Great, thank you. - It's from Washington State. 197 00:09:24,188 --> 00:09:26,732 The checkout guy at Trader Joe's said it's pretty good. 198 00:09:26,816 --> 00:09:27,650 Cool. 199 00:09:27,733 --> 00:09:30,403 You ever need a single malt, I got a bag boy at Costco. 200 00:09:30,486 --> 00:09:33,531 Kid's a bit of an alkie, but, uh... really knows his stuff. 201 00:09:33,614 --> 00:09:34,782 - Cool. - Yes. 202 00:09:34,865 --> 00:09:36,576 Hey, Dad. Be right there. 203 00:09:36,659 --> 00:09:37,910 Take your time. 204 00:09:38,953 --> 00:09:39,953 Hm. 205 00:09:41,330 --> 00:09:42,832 I like your home. It's, uh... 206 00:09:43,249 --> 00:09:44,125 It's very cozy. 207 00:09:44,208 --> 00:09:46,168 Uh... Thank you. Yeah. Kind of... 208 00:09:47,378 --> 00:09:49,422 Really kinda let it go in the last couple of years, 209 00:09:49,505 --> 00:09:52,133 but your daughter's really helped me zhuzh it up again. 210 00:09:52,216 --> 00:09:54,343 - Yes, so the throw pillows... - Throw pillows, her. 211 00:09:54,719 --> 00:09:56,220 - Candles... - Candles are mine. 212 00:09:56,637 --> 00:09:58,306 - I make them. - Oh. 213 00:09:58,723 --> 00:10:02,226 I'm an artsy-craftsy kind of guy. Got a potter's wheel in the garage. 214 00:10:02,310 --> 00:10:05,021 - Ah. - Hey, you ever need a vase, don't be shy. 215 00:10:05,104 --> 00:10:06,689 That's good to know. 216 00:10:07,565 --> 00:10:08,565 Yeah. 217 00:10:11,902 --> 00:10:14,102 - What do you say we open this sucker up? - Sounds good. 218 00:10:14,155 --> 00:10:15,197 - [chuckles] - Okay. 219 00:10:16,449 --> 00:10:17,449 [meowing] 220 00:10:17,491 --> 00:10:19,076 Oh, she brought her cats. 221 00:10:19,493 --> 00:10:21,579 No, actually the... The big, fat white one is mine. 222 00:10:21,662 --> 00:10:23,122 - Hm. - Name's Whitey. 223 00:10:23,581 --> 00:10:25,291 I have to be so careful when I call him. 224 00:10:25,374 --> 00:10:26,667 [chuckles] 225 00:10:27,668 --> 00:10:28,961 How long have you been here? 226 00:10:29,378 --> 00:10:31,756 Uh, let's see, rented for a few years 227 00:10:31,839 --> 00:10:34,342 and then bought the place in 1986. 228 00:10:35,009 --> 00:10:37,094 1986. [chuckles] 229 00:10:38,095 --> 00:10:39,680 That was the year Mindy was born. 230 00:10:41,849 --> 00:10:42,850 Whew. 231 00:10:42,933 --> 00:10:44,894 - Sorry. - No, no. Don't be silly. 232 00:10:45,436 --> 00:10:47,480 - It's weird. - Very weird. 233 00:10:49,023 --> 00:10:50,399 Holy fuck, is it weird. 234 00:10:50,483 --> 00:10:51,609 [snorts] 235 00:10:52,943 --> 00:10:54,695 In all seriousness, Sandy, I... 236 00:10:55,696 --> 00:10:57,073 I wasn't looking for this. 237 00:10:57,365 --> 00:10:59,492 - It just happened. - Yeah, that's what shit does. 238 00:11:00,618 --> 00:11:01,911 It happens. Shit happens. 239 00:11:02,953 --> 00:11:04,538 Mindy actually made the first move. 240 00:11:05,081 --> 00:11:09,085 I would never be bold enough to ask out a woman half my age. 241 00:11:09,168 --> 00:11:10,795 That does take a set of balls. 242 00:11:10,878 --> 00:11:13,464 And not the kind that get all twisted if you sit funny. 243 00:11:14,548 --> 00:11:15,548 Never, huh? 244 00:11:16,634 --> 00:11:18,302 Just me. Okay. All right. 245 00:11:20,012 --> 00:11:21,555 What's in all the boxes? 246 00:11:21,847 --> 00:11:24,475 Oh! Those are books. I wrote a book. 247 00:11:24,558 --> 00:11:26,310 No kidding? Congratulations. 248 00:11:26,977 --> 00:11:27,977 What's it about? 249 00:11:28,020 --> 00:11:29,313 It's a young adult novel 250 00:11:29,605 --> 00:11:31,732 about an awkward teenager who's hitting puberty 251 00:11:31,816 --> 00:11:34,318 right in the middle of the Cuban missile crisis, 1962. 252 00:11:35,403 --> 00:11:36,862 Is it autobiographical? 253 00:11:37,279 --> 00:11:39,365 Except for the part where he sleeps with his cousin. 254 00:11:39,448 --> 00:11:40,991 My cousin, I just felt up a little. 255 00:11:41,075 --> 00:11:42,451 [laughs] 256 00:11:42,535 --> 00:11:43,535 Who published it? 257 00:11:43,869 --> 00:11:45,246 Uh... I did. 258 00:11:46,330 --> 00:11:47,957 - Okay. - You want one? 259 00:11:48,040 --> 00:11:49,333 Sure, yeah, thank you, yeah. 260 00:11:49,750 --> 00:11:52,086 Take 20. Makes a great stocking stuffer. 261 00:11:53,504 --> 00:11:55,304 - Everybody getting along? - [Martin] You bet. 262 00:11:55,339 --> 00:11:56,424 Oh, yeah, just great. 263 00:11:56,507 --> 00:11:57,883 Here we go, Sandy. 264 00:11:59,635 --> 00:12:01,279 - Thank you. - And that's for you, sweetie. 265 00:12:01,303 --> 00:12:02,303 Thank you, honey. 266 00:12:02,847 --> 00:12:04,932 I see you've got a copy of Autumn for Epstein. 267 00:12:05,015 --> 00:12:06,642 Yeah, I... I got a few. 268 00:12:07,810 --> 00:12:10,146 Hey, you never told me how the two of you met. 269 00:12:10,229 --> 00:12:12,857 - Oh! [laughs] - Oh. It was really romantic. 270 00:12:12,940 --> 00:12:16,360 We met at Vroman's Bookstore in Pasadena at a book signing. 271 00:12:16,527 --> 00:12:17,778 Nice. For your book? 272 00:12:18,070 --> 00:12:20,197 Uh, no. Uh, Jonathan Franzen. 273 00:12:20,281 --> 00:12:21,741 Oh, yeah, he's a good writer. 274 00:12:22,616 --> 00:12:23,616 Okay, he's fine. 275 00:12:23,909 --> 00:12:25,619 - Uh, how about a little toast? - Oh. 276 00:12:25,911 --> 00:12:26,996 Uh... 277 00:12:27,329 --> 00:12:28,789 To my sassy lady. 278 00:12:28,873 --> 00:12:30,416 Sassy? Really? 279 00:12:31,041 --> 00:12:33,169 - What's wrong with sassy? - Yeah, it's a good word. 280 00:12:33,627 --> 00:12:36,338 Oh. Okay. Yeah, no. Well, never mind. It's fine. 281 00:12:36,422 --> 00:12:37,256 Sassy. 282 00:12:37,381 --> 00:12:40,676 To my sassy lady, I love you more than words can say. 283 00:12:40,760 --> 00:12:42,553 - Ugh. You're such a cornball. - [chuckles] 284 00:12:42,636 --> 00:12:43,804 Isn't he a cornball? 285 00:12:44,513 --> 00:12:45,681 I love you too. 286 00:12:46,390 --> 00:12:49,185 And to Sandy, in the words of Rick Blaine, 287 00:12:49,852 --> 00:12:51,270 I hope this is the beginning 288 00:12:51,353 --> 00:12:52,938 - of a beautiful friendship. - Aww. 289 00:12:53,606 --> 00:12:54,440 Cheers. 290 00:12:54,523 --> 00:12:55,523 - Cheers. - Cheers. 291 00:12:59,111 --> 00:12:59,945 Hm. 292 00:13:00,029 --> 00:13:01,238 - Huh. - Who's Rick Blaine? 293 00:13:01,906 --> 00:13:02,990 Humphrey Bogart. 294 00:13:03,073 --> 00:13:05,493 Oh. Sure. He's dead, right? 295 00:13:05,576 --> 00:13:06,702 Oh, yeah. Very much so. 296 00:13:07,870 --> 00:13:08,954 - Let's eat. - Yeah. 297 00:13:09,872 --> 00:13:11,832 So, Martin, I hear you met Mindy's mom. 298 00:13:12,166 --> 00:13:13,250 Oh, yes. 299 00:13:15,294 --> 00:13:16,629 [owl hooting] 300 00:13:18,339 --> 00:13:19,673 Fish okay? Not too dry? 301 00:13:19,757 --> 00:13:22,134 No, everything's delicious. Thank you. 302 00:13:23,344 --> 00:13:24,344 How's the tush? 303 00:13:24,720 --> 00:13:25,720 You know... 304 00:13:26,472 --> 00:13:28,057 I actually think it's angry with me 305 00:13:28,140 --> 00:13:31,101 as if I've betrayed it by bouncing up and down on Nancy. 306 00:13:33,729 --> 00:13:36,982 Does protocol dictate now that I inquire about your tush? 307 00:13:37,399 --> 00:13:38,901 Oh... Only if you're concerned. 308 00:13:40,820 --> 00:13:41,820 You know... 309 00:13:42,947 --> 00:13:44,114 I believe I am. 310 00:13:45,616 --> 00:13:47,868 It's fine. Thank you for asking. 311 00:13:48,869 --> 00:13:51,413 Good! Please send my regards. 312 00:13:55,000 --> 00:13:56,836 Maybe you should send them yourself. 313 00:13:58,045 --> 00:13:59,045 Um... 314 00:13:59,755 --> 00:14:00,755 [coughs] I... 315 00:14:01,131 --> 00:14:02,466 - [mumbles] - Mm. 316 00:14:03,384 --> 00:14:05,177 - Uhhhh... [coughs] - Hm. 317 00:14:07,680 --> 00:14:08,681 [snorts] 318 00:14:13,686 --> 00:14:16,105 So Mindy tells me that you recently retired. 319 00:14:16,230 --> 00:14:17,230 Yep. 320 00:14:17,356 --> 00:14:21,068 I taught English and history in LA's-school system, 38 years. 321 00:14:21,151 --> 00:14:23,737 - Whoa. You must've really loved it. - You'd think. 322 00:14:24,363 --> 00:14:25,990 Oh... Come on! 323 00:14:26,365 --> 00:14:28,242 One of his students is a state senator. 324 00:14:28,659 --> 00:14:31,954 And another one is a CEO for a Fortune 500 company. 325 00:14:32,371 --> 00:14:34,123 And don't forget one prize student 326 00:14:34,206 --> 00:14:36,584 currently on death row in Texas. 327 00:14:37,418 --> 00:14:38,752 How is your chicken Marsala? 328 00:14:38,836 --> 00:14:40,462 - It's great! - It's not too garlicky? 329 00:14:40,546 --> 00:14:42,089 - I like it spicy. - Me too, 330 00:14:42,172 --> 00:14:44,300 but always seem to pay the price afterwards. 331 00:14:44,383 --> 00:14:46,385 One Prilosec, two Tums 332 00:14:46,510 --> 00:14:49,030 and a pillow that elevates your shoulders while you're sleeping. 333 00:14:49,471 --> 00:14:50,931 - Really? - Trust me. 334 00:14:51,640 --> 00:14:52,640 [chuckles] 335 00:14:53,017 --> 00:14:54,310 - A-ha! - Hm. 336 00:14:54,393 --> 00:14:58,564 Now what's the deal with this beta, uh... sister-solay... 337 00:14:58,647 --> 00:15:01,150 Beta-Sitosterol. It's an over-the-counter supplement. 338 00:15:01,483 --> 00:15:04,570 It's a little sketchy, but seems to help with the... 339 00:15:05,321 --> 00:15:06,321 Sorry for this. 340 00:15:06,697 --> 00:15:09,158 Emptying the bladder once a night instead of four times. 341 00:15:09,241 --> 00:15:11,410 - Four times? I wish it was four times. - [chuckles] 342 00:15:11,493 --> 00:15:12,786 Well, give it a try. 343 00:15:12,870 --> 00:15:15,247 It's that or I sleep with my ass in a salad bowl. 344 00:15:15,331 --> 00:15:17,041 [Martin laughs] 345 00:15:17,124 --> 00:15:20,044 Well, isn't this nice? You two have something in common. 346 00:15:20,127 --> 00:15:21,962 - Yeah. We're both fallin' apart. - [chuckles] 347 00:15:22,046 --> 00:15:24,924 Oh, boy. Remember, uh... Walter Brennan? 348 00:15:25,007 --> 00:15:26,216 - Sure. - Sometimes, 349 00:15:26,300 --> 00:15:28,677 I look in the mirror and that... that's who I see. 350 00:15:28,761 --> 00:15:30,346 - "Somebody get the sheriff!" - [laughs] 351 00:15:30,429 --> 00:15:32,139 "The Dalton Gang's back in town." 352 00:15:32,222 --> 00:15:33,766 Hey, you know who this is? 353 00:15:33,849 --> 00:15:36,769 "Good night, Mrs. Calabash, wherever you are." 354 00:15:36,852 --> 00:15:38,520 - Ha-ha! Jimmy Durante! - Bingo! 355 00:15:38,604 --> 00:15:39,688 - Aah! - [both chuckle] 356 00:15:39,939 --> 00:15:41,659 You don't know who Jimmy Durante is, do you? 357 00:15:41,690 --> 00:15:43,442 - Is he dead too, or... - They're all dead. 358 00:15:43,525 --> 00:15:44,568 [Sandy chuckles] 359 00:15:44,652 --> 00:15:46,195 So much in common. 360 00:15:46,904 --> 00:15:47,947 Hm! 361 00:15:49,031 --> 00:15:50,324 Okay, well, uh... 362 00:15:52,117 --> 00:15:55,579 Thank you, uh, for... a really lovely evening. 363 00:15:55,663 --> 00:15:57,289 You are very welcome. 364 00:15:58,248 --> 00:15:59,291 So, yes. 365 00:15:59,833 --> 00:16:00,833 Thank you. 366 00:16:04,713 --> 00:16:05,713 [sighs] 367 00:16:09,343 --> 00:16:13,597 Well, uh, if you need anything, I'm... I'm not far. I'm just down the hall. 368 00:16:14,098 --> 00:16:15,098 Okey-dokey. 369 00:16:17,142 --> 00:16:18,142 Anything at all. 370 00:16:20,813 --> 00:16:21,813 Right-o. 371 00:16:22,106 --> 00:16:23,106 [laughs] 372 00:16:24,525 --> 00:16:25,776 Well, good night. [sighs] 373 00:16:26,235 --> 00:16:27,235 Good night. 374 00:16:33,534 --> 00:16:34,702 Fuckin' crazy. 375 00:16:35,452 --> 00:16:36,452 [groans] 376 00:16:41,625 --> 00:16:43,293 Whoa! Wait a minute. Whoa, whoa. 377 00:16:43,377 --> 00:16:45,671 You were actually there when they won the World Series? 378 00:16:45,754 --> 00:16:48,966 Shea Stadium, October 16th, 1969. 379 00:16:49,383 --> 00:16:51,510 I was sitting in the bleachers with my dad. 380 00:16:51,593 --> 00:16:53,053 Unbelievable. Miracle Mets! 381 00:16:53,137 --> 00:16:54,388 Greatest day of my life! 382 00:16:54,471 --> 00:16:55,347 [chuckles] 383 00:16:55,431 --> 00:16:56,974 Next to when Mindy was born. 384 00:16:57,057 --> 00:16:57,891 Thanks. 385 00:16:57,975 --> 00:17:00,227 Oh, my God. All right, I got one for you. 386 00:17:00,477 --> 00:17:01,812 I was at Woodstock. 387 00:17:02,229 --> 00:17:04,273 - No! - All four days. 388 00:17:04,481 --> 00:17:06,316 Lot of drugs, a lot of mud. 389 00:17:06,650 --> 00:17:07,650 Remember Hendrix? 390 00:17:07,693 --> 00:17:09,333 - "The Star-Spangled Banner"? - Of course. 391 00:17:09,403 --> 00:17:10,320 Yeah, I missed it. 392 00:17:10,404 --> 00:17:12,614 I was so high, I couldn't get out of the Porta-Potty. 393 00:17:13,574 --> 00:17:14,894 - I swear to God. - [phone buzzes] 394 00:17:15,075 --> 00:17:16,118 Ah! Excuse me. 395 00:17:17,828 --> 00:17:19,079 Sorry, I gotta take this. 396 00:17:19,163 --> 00:17:20,748 - Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. - [laughing] 397 00:17:22,332 --> 00:17:23,876 This is fun, huh? 398 00:17:24,835 --> 00:17:25,919 Yeah, what's up? 399 00:17:26,003 --> 00:17:28,005 - [Norman] Sandy. - Yeah. What's up? 400 00:17:28,213 --> 00:17:29,048 It's Norman. 401 00:17:29,131 --> 00:17:30,966 I got it. What's up? 402 00:17:31,300 --> 00:17:33,385 - I'm in Santa Barbara. - Okay. 403 00:17:33,469 --> 00:17:35,137 - With Madelyn. - Keep goin'. 404 00:17:35,220 --> 00:17:37,681 I think she expects me to have sex with her tonight. 405 00:17:38,474 --> 00:17:39,808 Congratulations! 406 00:17:40,184 --> 00:17:42,352 No, no congratulations! 407 00:17:42,436 --> 00:17:45,898 I haven't had sex with anybody but Eileen in 46... 408 00:17:46,523 --> 00:17:48,317 no, 47 years! 409 00:17:48,525 --> 00:17:50,652 - [sighs] Norman, we've talked about this. - [meows] 410 00:17:50,736 --> 00:17:52,905 What do you think... Uh, scratch that. 411 00:17:53,238 --> 00:17:56,116 What do you know Eileen most wanted for you? 412 00:17:57,618 --> 00:17:58,535 To be happy. 413 00:17:58,619 --> 00:17:59,495 Okay, then. 414 00:17:59,578 --> 00:18:03,624 It seems to me that in order to honor the wishes of your deceased wife, 415 00:18:04,166 --> 00:18:06,668 you have no choice but to fuck your old girlfriend. 416 00:18:07,336 --> 00:18:08,337 Don't be crude. 417 00:18:08,420 --> 00:18:09,505 Don't be a prig. 418 00:18:10,798 --> 00:18:13,801 What if I can't? Who the hell knows if the plumbing still works anymore? 419 00:18:13,884 --> 00:18:15,469 It's probably rusted shut. 420 00:18:15,552 --> 00:18:18,764 Okay, all... all right. Well, the plumbing is a different subject. 421 00:18:19,223 --> 00:18:20,223 Now... 422 00:18:20,724 --> 00:18:23,852 Miss Madelyn, she seems quite fond of you, am I right? 423 00:18:24,144 --> 00:18:25,646 I would say so, yes. 424 00:18:25,729 --> 00:18:28,273 - She's an attractive woman. - Very. 425 00:18:28,357 --> 00:18:31,819 And I take it, with homes in New York, in London, in Santa Barbara, 426 00:18:31,902 --> 00:18:33,862 she can be considered quite well-to-do. 427 00:18:33,946 --> 00:18:37,241 Sandy, I would give you a number, but you would leap to your death. 428 00:18:37,324 --> 00:18:39,868 So, given everything that we know about Madelyn, 429 00:18:40,452 --> 00:18:44,414 does she need to hunt down someone like you in order to get laid? 430 00:18:45,624 --> 00:18:46,750 Um... 431 00:18:46,834 --> 00:18:50,170 I would say no, she could probably, almost certainly do better. 432 00:18:50,254 --> 00:18:51,505 I would agree. 433 00:18:53,257 --> 00:18:55,926 - Still the thought of disappointing her... - Norman, 434 00:18:56,343 --> 00:19:00,389 uh, you once told me that the first lesson an agent has to learn 435 00:19:00,472 --> 00:19:03,642 is that the truth is a good fallback position. 436 00:19:04,184 --> 00:19:06,436 So instead of freaking yourself out, 437 00:19:06,520 --> 00:19:08,647 why not try that with Madelyn? 438 00:19:08,730 --> 00:19:11,817 You mean tell her I'm insecure about my ability to perform? 439 00:19:11,900 --> 00:19:13,610 What kind of a man tells a woman that? 440 00:19:14,444 --> 00:19:17,948 [sighs] An 80-year-old man who's at peace with himself, 441 00:19:18,031 --> 00:19:19,783 who's had more than his share of... 442 00:19:20,534 --> 00:19:24,163 fornicating and has nothing left to prove. 443 00:19:24,746 --> 00:19:27,249 Good point. What do I have to prove? 444 00:19:27,332 --> 00:19:30,377 You have thrust your dagger enough for ten men. 445 00:19:30,961 --> 00:19:33,255 It's more of a sword than a dagger. 446 00:19:33,338 --> 00:19:34,381 If you say so. 447 00:19:34,464 --> 00:19:36,633 And it's probably better than what I was planning. 448 00:19:36,717 --> 00:19:37,717 Which was? 449 00:19:37,843 --> 00:19:40,220 Wait till she's asleep, then drive out to the desert 450 00:19:40,304 --> 00:19:42,598 where I vanish, never to be seen or heard from again. 451 00:19:42,681 --> 00:19:45,058 [chuckles] Let's stick a pin in that one, all right? 452 00:19:45,350 --> 00:19:46,685 Listen, I gotta go. 453 00:19:46,768 --> 00:19:49,646 Wait, wait, wait! How's it going with the geriatric boyfriend? 454 00:19:50,189 --> 00:19:51,732 I actually like the guy. 455 00:19:52,316 --> 00:19:54,484 Well, that's nice. More than me? 456 00:19:54,568 --> 00:19:57,112 No, you? You'll always be my first love. 457 00:19:57,196 --> 00:19:58,030 Good. 458 00:19:58,155 --> 00:20:00,908 Remember, ride the horse in the direction it is going. 459 00:20:01,200 --> 00:20:02,618 Already did that. 460 00:20:02,701 --> 00:20:04,578 You know you have to kick it first? 461 00:20:04,995 --> 00:20:06,413 [sighs] Good night, Norman. 462 00:20:06,997 --> 00:20:09,833 I'm confused because I thought you wanted us to get along. 463 00:20:10,167 --> 00:20:12,961 Yeah. Get along. Not be bosom fucking buddies. 464 00:20:13,045 --> 00:20:15,839 Okay, you know what? When he comes back, I'll be a prick to him. 465 00:20:15,923 --> 00:20:16,923 Hey, Marty. 466 00:20:19,218 --> 00:20:20,469 You want to blow a joint? 467 00:20:21,887 --> 00:20:22,887 Do I? 468 00:20:27,809 --> 00:20:29,394 [phone ringing] 469 00:20:40,656 --> 00:20:41,490 Norman. 470 00:20:41,573 --> 00:20:45,702 It's been a long time since I've been with anybody other than Eileen, and we had a... 471 00:20:45,786 --> 00:20:48,247 we had a very specific routine worked out. 472 00:20:50,082 --> 00:20:50,916 Okay. 473 00:20:50,999 --> 00:20:54,419 Also, you know, I'm 80 years old and there's that. 474 00:20:54,503 --> 00:20:56,263 My darling, I don't care if anything happens. 475 00:20:56,338 --> 00:20:57,547 I just want to be with you. 476 00:20:57,881 --> 00:21:00,342 - Are you sure? - Absolutely. 477 00:21:05,055 --> 00:21:06,055 Norman? 478 00:21:07,432 --> 00:21:08,433 Norman? 479 00:21:10,519 --> 00:21:11,645 Oh! 480 00:21:14,356 --> 00:21:16,608 Is it okay if I sleep on the right side of the bed? 481 00:21:16,692 --> 00:21:17,693 Uh... 482 00:21:18,527 --> 00:21:20,570 Jeez, I don't know. That's... That's where I sleep. 483 00:21:20,654 --> 00:21:23,323 Well, you better think it over. It's kind of a deal breaker. 484 00:21:23,740 --> 00:21:25,409 Boy, you drive a hard bargain. 485 00:21:25,742 --> 00:21:26,868 And don't say "hard." 486 00:21:26,952 --> 00:21:28,036 [laughs] 487 00:21:29,496 --> 00:21:30,539 I guess I'll try. 488 00:21:52,519 --> 00:21:54,313 - I think I'm gonna cry again. - [sighs] 489 00:21:54,855 --> 00:21:56,398 - [chuckles] - Me too.