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[theme music plays]
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Hey! Hey! Hey!
We say "Queer," you say "Eye."
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- Queer!
- Eye!
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Good job. Go, Bobby!
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- Go, Bobby!
- All right, kids.
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This week,
we are helping Stephanie Williams.
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- Yeah?
- [laughs]
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And what else, Bobby?
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- Stephanie Williams is New Orleans'--
- Bobby, tell us.
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{\an8}Tells us more.
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{\an8}- [Bobby laughs]
- [Tan] Tell us more.
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{\an8}[Bobby] All right. "Stephanie Williams is
New Orleans' number one sports superfan."
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[sighs]
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I am the first
New Orleans Saints Fan of the Year.
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I don't kiss it
'cause that would be weird, right?
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I might give it the winky-wink,
but I don't... I don't kiss it.
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[laughs]
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I was brought up cheering on the Saints.
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Ever since then,
it just genuinely makes me happy.
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I have a lot of sports memorabilia.
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It's kind of become
a little bit of an addiction.
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I probably wear sports stuff
365 days a year.
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"When she wears
her famous Pelicans basketball hat,
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people know her as Mama Bird."
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It's a vibe.
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Mama Bird is a vibe.
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[caws]
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"Stephanie and her partner, Rachael,
or Ray, have been together for six years."
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- She's a lesbian?
- That's a big deal!
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Yay, lesbians!
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{\an8}[Steph] We have been living
in my dad's house for about four years,
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{\an8}trying to save our money.
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It's been a pretty tight squeeze,
but we're making it work.
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- [Steph] Did you give him a Cheeto?
- No.
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You are...
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[woman] We love her dad.
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{\an8}He's been so amazing.
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{\an8}But it's time. [laughs]
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{\an8}Like, it's time for us to go.
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[Steph] We just bought a new house.
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It is the house we've been looking at
for several years.
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Every time we dropped by,
we were like, "Oh, I love that house,"
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and now it's ours!
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[Steph] It's a new beginning for us.
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I get reminded every day
that she's waiting.
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She's waiting on that ring.
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[laughs]
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[Steph] I just never felt confident
that she would say yes.
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[Ray]
Her insecurities play into that a lot.
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It's kind of challenging as a partner.
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You know?
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"Rachael's nominating Stephanie
because Rachael has seen Stephanie
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become a shell
of her former, once confident, self."
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No!
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Foul on the play!
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[all laugh]
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[Ray] Whenever I first met Stephanie,
she always wore, like, cute outfits.
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She was super, super confident
and happy all the time.
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But now the confident Stephanie
that I met six years ago
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is no more.
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"Being gay in the South has taken a toll."
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Aw.
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"Stephanie is holding onto
embarrassments, fears, and insecurities
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that are stopping her
from living her life to the fullest."
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What happened?
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[Steph] There was an incident
that I was really made to feel other.
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That moment lives with me
every single day.
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It's hard to be different
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and not be able to control
that you're different.
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And then people hate you for it
without even getting to know you.
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[Ray] Instead of just being happy,
she's always worried
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about what other people think
and outward appearances.
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It's kind of terrible to watch,
and I can only reassure her so much.
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She's gotta do that herself too.
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"Moving to their first home
is a chance for a fresh start."
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- You gotta release, girl.
- [Bobby] I know.
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"They have never entertained as a couple,
so at the end of the week,
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Stephanie and Rachael are hosting
family and friends in their new home."
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"Rachael hopes Stephanie
can be as proud of herself
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as she is to be a Saints fan."
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[Steph] I'm scared. But it's time
for me to step up to the plate
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and be a better me
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so that I can be a better partner.
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[Ray] I love her,
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and, you know, I wanna be two old ladies,
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you know... [laughs]
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...growing old together.
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"Our mission this week
is to help this New Orleans superfan
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root for herself again!"
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[all yell] Yeah!
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Let's do it! Let's do it! Let's do it!
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[theme music plays]
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♪ Better ♪
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♪ All things just keep getting better ♪
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[suspenseful music plays]
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[thunder rumbles]
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Forever home.
Just keep thinking about it. Forever home.
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[phone rings]
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- [laughs]
- Hello?
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[Bobby] See the weirdos outside
your window here, right behind you?
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- Do you wanna let us in?
- Not really.
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[Karamo] Let us in!
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- [Steph] Oh my God.
- Hi.
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- What's going on? Great to meet you.
- Oh my gosh.
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- Hello! Nice to meet you. I'm Tan.
- Nice to meet you, Tan.
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- Don't you have beautiful skin?
- Oh my God.
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- [Karamo] How you doing?
- Good morning.
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[Steph] Oh gosh!
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I saw a face in the window,
and it made me...
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This is New Orleans.
You can't show a face in the window!
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- [laughs]
- [Jonathan] You have enchanting eyes.
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When you make eye contact
with someone, wow.
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- [Ray] Isn't she beautiful?
- You're stunning.
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I was like, "Are you only looking at me?"
I can totally see this. So cute! Yeah!
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[Karamo] That made you uncomfortable.
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I was watching your body language.
You were, like, closed off.
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"Please, I don't know."
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[Antoni] I see a lot of boxes.
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- Getting ready.
- [Steph] Yes.
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[Ray] It's a mess, y'all.
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- My homing beacon.
- [mysterious oscillation]
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Baked goods.
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[sniffs] Where are they?
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- Delicious.
- [Jonathan] You have Bundt cake.
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- It's store bought.
- But I love that.
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I know that I'm here to help Stephanie,
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but I didn't realize
there was going to be baked goods
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from the grocery store.
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- What are these?
- [Bobby] Pralines.
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Oh, this is really cozy.
Oh, and you can tie it.
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That is just like the one
that Björk wore that time!
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- [Antoni] Touchdown!
- No, that's... that's another team.
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Oh no!
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This is the basketball team.
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But hold on. You... but you...
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Basketball.
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Football.
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This has become a little bit of storage
slash places to put sports memorabilia.
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- Why is the Superdome seat here?
- You feel like you're there.
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There is so much sport memorabilia,
paraphernalia, whatever.
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I don't know the technical terms.
Sports shit everywhere.
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Come on, now.
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This is just way too much.
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It doesn't feel like a home.
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This was supposed to be my closet.
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It feels like a run-down sports museum.
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This has been going on for three years.
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[Karamo] Wow.
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- That's really good!
- Really?
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She is so much more than this.
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{\an8}So tell me about how it's been
being back home the last four years.
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- Yeah?
- Uh.
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Is it? And counting.
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- [laughs]
- Um, it's just been a lot.
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It has been a mental toll
on Rachael and I.
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There is no personal space,
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even, like, for us,
like, just to cuddle or like...
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She's a nurse.
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Sometimes she wants to come home
and decompress.
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Yep.
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Family time with Dad
isn't necessarily that time.
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I don't think
I've seen a picture of the two of you.
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No. No.
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She's been basically feeling
like a houseguest for four years.
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- Pretty much.
- Yeah?
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This new house, though, it's a chance
to maybe right some of these wrongs.
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Very much so. Yes.
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Maybe we just do,
like, a sports-memorabilia room.
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[Steph] One room?
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- The fact that you can even have...
- I know.
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...a whole room
dedicated to just memorabilia
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is crazy.
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- Point taken. [laughs]
- Okay. Good.
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- [Steph] I like mac and cheese.
- [laughs]
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Wow, you're a mac-and-cheese hoarder!
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[gargling]
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Do you doctor it up at all? With peas?
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I would... Peas? In macaroni?
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- I love peas in mac and cheese.
- No. No way.
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[sighs]
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{\an8}If I asked Ray
what your, like, biggest faults were,
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{\an8}culinarily speaking.
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- What does she grill you about?
- Everything.
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[laughs]
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Well, I don't even have to ask you, then.
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- She doesn't eat vegetables at all.
- I eat corn.
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- Unless it's cooked down.
- I eat corn.
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Corn's a starch.
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[laughs]
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Anything that tastes green freaks me out.
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It's a real thing!
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I'm the worst person
for this conversation. This sounds good.
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- Take care of my girl.
- I will. I promise.
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Get my sweet, confident,
beautiful girlfriend back.
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- Yeah.
- She needs this.
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- [Antoni] We got this.
- Thank y'all.
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She really wants the best for you.
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I know, and nutrition-wise,
I'm, like, a terrible influence on her.
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I do eat fast food. I eat fried food.
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My dad and Rachael
usually eat the vegetables.
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Dad will make her a salad.
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Okay. Okay. Okay.
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I just don't partake.
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I stay in, like, a comfort zone
of what I know, and--
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Just with food,
or with other stuff, maybe, too?
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Everything's a comfort zone.
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- Okay.
- I mean, like this.
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This is a comfort zone.
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But what are we doing this week?
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We're gonna get a little uncomfortable.
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Were you a big Bieber fan?
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'Cause you got the cut.
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- Oh, my gosh. I love it!
- [Tan] No, it's a Pete Wentz.
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Pete Wentz? It's a Pete Wentz.
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[Tan] It's a Pete Wentz.
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- I had that cut too.
- What's wrong with that?
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No, I had that too!
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That was literally my haircut
for, like, three years.
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Yes, yes, laugh all you want.
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♪ Oh ♪
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It was a look back then!
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It was hot!
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♪ Oh ♪
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{\an8}- Full disclosure, I used your Listerine.
- [Steph] That's okay.
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{\an8}So... okay, so tell me everything.
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- This is Rachael's side.
- Okay. I love that.
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- This is my side.
- Okay.
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- And then you also have this pomade.
- [Steph] Yeah. Yeah.
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Is that what you're rocking today?
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[Steph] Yeah. It helps me with my part.
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Yes, I see.
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This is a common affliction of people
who don't know how to style their hair,
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and it's very thickly applied,
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helmet adjacent...
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It's almost like...
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No, I can't say that.
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- I'm into it.
- Too much?
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- No, just enough, queen.
- [laughs]
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- It's just enough.
- [laughs]
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And I can't say it.
I can't bring myself to say it.
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She's giving me girl Eric Trump Jr.
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Okay? I said it.
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00:10:41,558 --> 00:10:45,312
With no beard. If you take that beard off.
Too mean. It's too mean.
244
00:10:45,312 --> 00:10:46,230
But she is.
245
00:10:47,022 --> 00:10:49,400
Do you feel totally, like, good
246
00:10:49,400 --> 00:10:51,610
about the way you are feeling and looking?
247
00:10:51,610 --> 00:10:53,862
I have very low self-esteem.
248
00:10:53,862 --> 00:10:56,240
People wouldn't know that, but I just do.
249
00:10:56,240 --> 00:10:57,157
Okay.
250
00:10:57,157 --> 00:11:00,953
One of my first things we gotta get into,
and there's a mirror right here,
251
00:11:00,953 --> 00:11:04,581
is to, like, get into a world
of, like, a little bit of an affirmation,
252
00:11:04,581 --> 00:11:07,167
which is, "I accept myself completely."
253
00:11:10,003 --> 00:11:12,131
"I accept myself completely."
254
00:11:13,132 --> 00:11:14,925
Put your arms down to your sides.
255
00:11:17,136 --> 00:11:18,345
[sighs]
256
00:11:18,345 --> 00:11:19,930
It's not easy to do.
257
00:11:19,930 --> 00:11:22,015
[poignant music plays]
258
00:11:23,684 --> 00:11:27,146
Even if you don't believe it,
if you could just get 0.1% of yourself
259
00:11:27,146 --> 00:11:28,230
to just be like,
260
00:11:29,148 --> 00:11:31,650
"Maybe a part of me
could accept myself completely
261
00:11:31,650 --> 00:11:32,818
just the way I am."
262
00:11:32,818 --> 00:11:34,987
[sighs]
263
00:11:34,987 --> 00:11:36,947
I accept myself completely.
264
00:11:37,906 --> 00:11:39,158
[Jonathan] Two more reps.
265
00:11:40,826 --> 00:11:42,619
I accept myself completely.
266
00:11:43,203 --> 00:11:44,413
[Jonathan] One more rep.
267
00:11:46,582 --> 00:11:48,375
I accept myself completely.
268
00:11:51,420 --> 00:11:54,423
I don't feel that at all.
I don't even wanna look. I...
269
00:11:55,174 --> 00:11:58,719
But these things manifest themselves
in all sorts of ways.
270
00:12:00,012 --> 00:12:04,141
Stephanie's always derived her confidence
from her fandom of the Saints,
271
00:12:04,141 --> 00:12:06,935
but when Stephanie starts
to talk about herself,
272
00:12:06,935 --> 00:12:08,562
that confidence fades,
273
00:12:08,562 --> 00:12:11,690
and she deserves to see her beauty.
She's a fabulous person.
274
00:12:11,690 --> 00:12:14,401
So we're just gonna get
into a little gorgeous exploration.
275
00:12:14,902 --> 00:12:16,153
That's all we're doing.
276
00:12:16,153 --> 00:12:17,404
Strong-ass bitch.
277
00:12:17,404 --> 00:12:18,822
[laughs]
278
00:12:20,115 --> 00:12:21,366
{\an8}Stephanie, your closet.
279
00:12:21,366 --> 00:12:23,160
Gosh, it is packed.
280
00:12:23,160 --> 00:12:26,914
I'm gonna take some sports stuff out
so we've got a little more room.
281
00:12:26,914 --> 00:12:29,625
- I'm assuming you'll take all that.
- [laughs] Yeah.
282
00:12:29,625 --> 00:12:34,588
{\an8}Okay, so I'm seeing
a lot of polos and T-shirts.
283
00:12:34,588 --> 00:12:35,672
A heck of a lot.
284
00:12:35,672 --> 00:12:40,052
I don't like to wear anything
that's, like, too... too tight,
285
00:12:40,052 --> 00:12:42,763
so I wear stuff
that's maybe a little bit bigger.
286
00:12:43,555 --> 00:12:44,681
- This.
- It's comfort.
287
00:12:44,681 --> 00:12:47,100
- Yeah.
- It's sneakers. It's basketball shorts.
288
00:12:47,100 --> 00:12:50,229
I played basketball in college,
so I love my basketball shorts.
289
00:12:50,229 --> 00:12:52,314
You used to get dressed up.
290
00:12:52,314 --> 00:12:54,817
- Yes.
- Do you miss those times?
291
00:12:54,817 --> 00:12:59,404
I miss feeling
the way that I felt when I dressed up,
292
00:12:59,404 --> 00:13:03,450
but sometimes, like, people would judge me
because of the way that I look.
293
00:13:03,450 --> 00:13:05,619
Is it because you look more masculine,
294
00:13:05,619 --> 00:13:08,038
so people assume,
without even speaking to you,
295
00:13:08,038 --> 00:13:09,581
that, "She must be lesbian"?
296
00:13:09,581 --> 00:13:11,792
Yes. So I started wearing Saints stuff
297
00:13:11,792 --> 00:13:14,378
and positive messaging
or New Orleans things.
298
00:13:14,378 --> 00:13:18,966
Like, when I'm Mama Bird,
I can hug kids and talk to kids,
299
00:13:18,966 --> 00:13:21,885
and people see the message
before they judge me.
300
00:13:21,885 --> 00:13:24,847
Yeah, you're making other people happier
by "fitting in,"
301
00:13:24,847 --> 00:13:27,182
but then you lose yourself completely.
302
00:13:28,308 --> 00:13:30,477
I would love for you to just look cool.
303
00:13:30,477 --> 00:13:32,020
But what does that look like?
304
00:13:32,020 --> 00:13:34,857
I'm gonna show you this week,
but it's not in your closet!
305
00:13:34,857 --> 00:13:36,441
[laughs]
306
00:13:38,819 --> 00:13:40,445
Yes. Go, Saints!
307
00:13:40,445 --> 00:13:42,114
Number one. Go, Saints!
308
00:13:45,284 --> 00:13:46,618
It's very sweet.
309
00:13:50,622 --> 00:13:54,877
{\an8}All I saw when I walked in here
was sports, sports, sports.
310
00:13:55,377 --> 00:13:58,839
I asked Rachael when you started this,
and she said three years ago.
311
00:13:58,839 --> 00:14:00,757
Did something happen three years ago?
312
00:14:00,757 --> 00:14:02,092
- [sighs]
- [emotional music plays]
313
00:14:02,092 --> 00:14:07,055
There was a situation that, for me,
was kind of like a turning point.
314
00:14:07,806 --> 00:14:08,807
We went to the bar.
315
00:14:08,807 --> 00:14:11,602
We were sitting down to eat.
We'd been there some time.
316
00:14:11,602 --> 00:14:15,063
There was a lady and, uh, her daughter
that came in to eat,
317
00:14:15,063 --> 00:14:18,275
and there weren't enough seats.
And so I said, "You know what?"
318
00:14:18,275 --> 00:14:21,320
"I'm willing to get up
and give that to them,"
319
00:14:22,112 --> 00:14:23,363
and so I did.
320
00:14:23,363 --> 00:14:27,034
And then after that,
the daughter was talking to her,
321
00:14:27,034 --> 00:14:31,121
and it was a lot of very homophobic,
hateful things that were being said
322
00:14:31,121 --> 00:14:33,540
and poking fun at the way that I look.
323
00:14:34,124 --> 00:14:35,751
"Is that a he or a she?"
324
00:14:36,835 --> 00:14:40,923
For the first time in my life,
I felt so incredibly small.
325
00:14:42,132 --> 00:14:43,884
And, um, ever since then,
326
00:14:43,884 --> 00:14:47,721
I just care too much
about making others comfortable.
327
00:14:47,721 --> 00:14:49,681
"I don't wanna put
pictures of us everywhere
328
00:14:49,681 --> 00:14:52,976
because then Dad
has to answer questions about that."
329
00:14:53,894 --> 00:14:56,396
When we're going out,
I wanna hold her hand,
330
00:14:56,897 --> 00:14:59,524
but a lot of times, I pull away.
331
00:14:59,524 --> 00:15:03,695
And I know
that it has been difficult for her.
332
00:15:03,695 --> 00:15:05,948
There've been times
where she's broken down.
333
00:15:05,948 --> 00:15:06,865
Yeah.
334
00:15:06,865 --> 00:15:10,369
[Karamo] Stephanie is believing
the narratives being told to her,
335
00:15:10,369 --> 00:15:11,828
that she has to hide,
336
00:15:11,828 --> 00:15:13,163
and that's an issue.
337
00:15:13,747 --> 00:15:16,083
When did you start
to identify as a lesbian?
338
00:15:16,083 --> 00:15:19,795
Like, latter part of college,
end of college. Yeah.
339
00:15:19,795 --> 00:15:22,756
What was that reception like for you
from your family?
340
00:15:23,340 --> 00:15:26,259
With, you know, my mom and dad,
I was pleasantly surprised.
341
00:15:26,259 --> 00:15:29,262
- [uplifting music plays]
- Both were just so super receptive.
342
00:15:29,262 --> 00:15:30,764
What about your siblings?
343
00:15:30,764 --> 00:15:33,225
My youngest brother, Alex, he lives here.
344
00:15:33,225 --> 00:15:34,601
We're a lot alike.
345
00:15:34,601 --> 00:15:37,729
My brother Mark, who's my middle brother,
lives in Chicago.
346
00:15:37,729 --> 00:15:40,357
- He is gay also.
- Oh wow. Okay. Two gay siblings.
347
00:15:40,357 --> 00:15:41,483
- Right!
- All right.
348
00:15:41,483 --> 00:15:45,320
Were you able to talk to your brother
about the incident that happened?
349
00:15:45,320 --> 00:15:46,238
Never.
350
00:15:46,238 --> 00:15:50,075
Why wouldn't you turn to them about this?
They would be able to understand.
351
00:15:50,659 --> 00:15:52,995
When I talk about it,
it gets me emotional,
352
00:15:52,995 --> 00:15:56,540
and I start to get upset
because we're not as close.
353
00:15:56,540 --> 00:15:58,917
I wish sometimes I was closer.
354
00:15:58,917 --> 00:16:01,003
Do you want yourself to be happy?
355
00:16:01,795 --> 00:16:02,629
Yeah.
356
00:16:02,629 --> 00:16:05,090
The first thing to do
is take off this mask.
357
00:16:05,090 --> 00:16:08,301
Or, in your case,
you gotta take off that hat.
358
00:16:08,301 --> 00:16:10,178
- [laughs]
- It's the truth.
359
00:16:10,178 --> 00:16:11,805
You gotta take off that hat.
360
00:16:12,931 --> 00:16:15,684
- Let's get you inside. Thanks for sharing.
- Thank you, K.
361
00:16:15,684 --> 00:16:17,894
I don't appreciate
you dissing the bird hat though.
362
00:16:17,894 --> 00:16:20,856
- [Karamo laughs] That bird hat has to go.
- [laughs]
363
00:16:20,856 --> 00:16:22,482
[Antoni squawking]
364
00:16:25,027 --> 00:16:27,738
Okay! What a gorgeous, clear closet.
365
00:16:27,738 --> 00:16:29,781
- [Antoni] Fowl birds!
- Goodness.
366
00:16:29,781 --> 00:16:31,992
- [Bobby] Tanny, Let's go.
- [Tan] We're done.
367
00:16:31,992 --> 00:16:33,702
[grunts]
368
00:16:35,454 --> 00:16:38,832
- [Jonathan] Let's go. Bye, house!
- New house! Woo-hoo!
369
00:16:38,832 --> 00:16:41,585
I hope her dad's not mad
that I stole the Bundt cake.
370
00:16:41,585 --> 00:16:43,670
[thunder rumbles]
371
00:16:47,466 --> 00:16:49,801
I think he was mad I stole the Bundt cake.
372
00:16:50,385 --> 00:16:51,887
♪ There's a feeling ♪
373
00:16:52,929 --> 00:16:55,057
{\an8}♪ Like something's in the air ♪
374
00:16:55,557 --> 00:16:56,725
♪ I've been working... ♪
375
00:16:56,725 --> 00:17:00,604
My biggest job this week is to teach Steph
376
00:17:00,604 --> 00:17:02,522
that everything in your home
377
00:17:02,522 --> 00:17:04,775
shouldn't just revolve
around what you love,
378
00:17:04,775 --> 00:17:08,779
but it is very important
to think about, "What's Ray gonna love?"
379
00:17:08,779 --> 00:17:10,530
"And what will we love together?"
380
00:17:11,990 --> 00:17:14,743
An event changed
the trajectory of who she was
381
00:17:14,743 --> 00:17:16,078
as a proud lesbian,
382
00:17:16,078 --> 00:17:20,207
but Stephanie needs to realize that
there's options of support in her family.
383
00:17:20,207 --> 00:17:21,458
She just needs to ask.
384
00:17:21,458 --> 00:17:23,668
♪ Here's a toast to the good life... ♪
385
00:17:23,668 --> 00:17:25,962
She doesn't know
what might make her feel better
386
00:17:25,962 --> 00:17:27,881
when it comes to her attire.
387
00:17:27,881 --> 00:17:32,886
I wanna show her that she can step
outside of her own comfort zone
388
00:17:32,886 --> 00:17:37,140
and focus on
the new, proud, queer Stephanie.
389
00:17:37,682 --> 00:17:39,434
♪ We can toast to the good life... ♪
390
00:17:39,434 --> 00:17:42,062
By staying in her creature comforts,
391
00:17:42,813 --> 00:17:47,484
she is preventing herself from living
a life beyond her wildest dreams.
392
00:17:47,484 --> 00:17:50,529
♪ We can toast to the good life... ♪
393
00:17:50,529 --> 00:17:53,990
What I wanna work on with Stephanie
is how to identify and celebrate
394
00:17:53,990 --> 00:17:56,868
the already-thriving beauty
from within her.
395
00:17:57,369 --> 00:18:01,706
And I'm so excited
because we are cooking up a major change.
396
00:18:01,706 --> 00:18:03,792
[upbeat music plays]
397
00:18:06,211 --> 00:18:07,838
♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah ♪
398
00:18:08,713 --> 00:18:10,549
♪ Feeling oh so carefree ♪
399
00:18:12,551 --> 00:18:14,636
Okay, the last time you came shopping?
400
00:18:14,636 --> 00:18:17,889
I kind of avoid it like the plague
if I can. [laughs]
401
00:18:21,059 --> 00:18:25,438
You are so aware
of how you identify as a queer woman,
402
00:18:26,022 --> 00:18:28,483
and that is gonna be our stumbling block.
403
00:18:28,483 --> 00:18:32,737
- [emotional music plays]
- Are you ashamed of your homosexuality?
404
00:18:34,239 --> 00:18:35,824
[sighs]
405
00:18:35,824 --> 00:18:37,367
Not ashamed,
406
00:18:37,868 --> 00:18:43,206
but I would say
that I feel like I'm a problem for others.
407
00:18:44,416 --> 00:18:49,045
- And so I try to dial myself back a lot.
- Yeah.
408
00:18:49,045 --> 00:18:50,630
I will say this.
409
00:18:50,630 --> 00:18:53,383
It's something
I think many of us have to navigate.
410
00:18:53,383 --> 00:18:55,635
I do exactly the same thing.
411
00:18:55,635 --> 00:18:58,263
I just know, for my comfort and my safety,
412
00:18:58,263 --> 00:19:02,767
sometimes it's not appropriate
for me to wear my heels... to my small town.
413
00:19:02,767 --> 00:19:04,019
- It's just not.
- Yeah.
414
00:19:04,019 --> 00:19:06,146
[Tan] And so I 100% understand.
415
00:19:06,146 --> 00:19:09,065
But this is just a mask you put on
416
00:19:09,065 --> 00:19:11,359
to make it more palatable
for everybody else.
417
00:19:11,359 --> 00:19:15,363
I can't imagine you're thinking, "You know
what's gonna make me feel hot?"
418
00:19:15,363 --> 00:19:18,366
"A pair of basketball shorts
and this hoodie."
419
00:19:18,366 --> 00:19:19,576
No? Am I wrong?
420
00:19:19,576 --> 00:19:22,537
No, not unless it's a game day
or something like that.
421
00:19:22,537 --> 00:19:25,123
[Tan] Yeah!
Yeah, yeah, and game day, I get it.
422
00:19:25,874 --> 00:19:30,086
I hope that we can get to a place
where you can still very much be yourself,
423
00:19:30,086 --> 00:19:34,382
but a version of you you feel proud of
and confident to be publicly.
424
00:19:35,008 --> 00:19:38,261
I wanna get there.
I really... I really, really do.
425
00:19:38,845 --> 00:19:40,931
I'm gonna help you
by putting you in clothes.
426
00:19:40,931 --> 00:19:45,185
That's just icing on the cake.
The rest of the cake is you.
427
00:19:47,354 --> 00:19:50,941
[Tan] I can tell she's apprehensive
about what I might put her in,
428
00:19:50,941 --> 00:19:54,945
but I need her
to work on being proud of who she is.
429
00:19:54,945 --> 00:19:57,447
A proud lesbian, a proud woman.
430
00:19:57,447 --> 00:20:00,492
I don't want her to feel
she has to shrink herself down.
431
00:20:00,492 --> 00:20:05,038
There's nothing to be ashamed of.
If I get to be out and proud, so do you.
432
00:20:05,038 --> 00:20:07,040
- [Tan] Ooh!
- [chuckles]
433
00:20:07,040 --> 00:20:08,333
All right!
434
00:20:08,333 --> 00:20:09,542
Come on over.
435
00:20:10,168 --> 00:20:12,879
Tell me what you're thinking,
and then we'll tackle it.
436
00:20:12,879 --> 00:20:17,467
So I haven't tucked a shirt in
probably in a super long time.
437
00:20:17,467 --> 00:20:20,178
So tucking the shirt in
438
00:20:20,178 --> 00:20:23,640
and having some of my stomach
kind of exposed,
439
00:20:23,640 --> 00:20:26,643
it's a little insecurity for me.
I usually let stuff hang.
440
00:20:26,643 --> 00:20:29,562
If this were not tucked in,
it would hang here.
441
00:20:30,146 --> 00:20:32,691
Then you are all torso, teeny legs.
442
00:20:33,566 --> 00:20:35,026
Not a great look.
443
00:20:35,026 --> 00:20:36,361
What are you hiding?
444
00:20:37,195 --> 00:20:39,906
Look at that.
Is that not flat as a pancake?
445
00:20:40,782 --> 00:20:43,702
- Yes, you did just knock my penis. Is...
- [laughs]
446
00:20:43,702 --> 00:20:44,619
Yeah!
447
00:20:44,619 --> 00:20:45,537
But...
448
00:20:45,537 --> 00:20:47,831
- It has been...
- It's been a while.
449
00:20:47,831 --> 00:20:49,833
It's been a while
since a lady's knocked my penis!
450
00:20:49,833 --> 00:20:51,710
- Wow, okay. Yeah.
- So, look.
451
00:20:51,710 --> 00:20:54,296
When you look from the side,
is that not flat?
452
00:20:54,796 --> 00:20:56,339
I mean, kind of?
453
00:20:57,340 --> 00:20:59,467
Would it make it easier
to add something on
454
00:20:59,467 --> 00:21:02,512
that kind of skirts these proportions?
455
00:21:02,512 --> 00:21:03,847
- Yeah.
- Okay.
456
00:21:03,847 --> 00:21:07,517
Let's get you in something that's gonna
make you feel more confident.
457
00:21:07,517 --> 00:21:09,144
[upbeat music plays]
458
00:21:10,312 --> 00:21:11,438
Okay!
459
00:21:11,938 --> 00:21:13,440
Come take a look at yourself.
460
00:21:13,440 --> 00:21:14,774
You've got a T-shirt on,
461
00:21:14,774 --> 00:21:18,653
but you've got something larger
that skims every area that you wanna skim.
462
00:21:18,653 --> 00:21:21,239
If you were
to wear something like this for Rachael,
463
00:21:21,239 --> 00:21:23,408
she'd see, yeah, you're still comfortable,
464
00:21:23,408 --> 00:21:26,119
you're still casual,
but it still looks stylish.
465
00:21:26,119 --> 00:21:28,455
It's not just, "I'm hiding."
466
00:21:28,455 --> 00:21:30,582
Yeah. It would be like night and day.
467
00:21:30,582 --> 00:21:33,877
I was a little skeptical,
but I actually like it.
468
00:21:33,877 --> 00:21:35,337
Good.
469
00:21:35,337 --> 00:21:38,131
I was scared
when you took everything out of the closet
470
00:21:38,131 --> 00:21:40,467
and you just kind of thrown it in a pile.
471
00:21:40,467 --> 00:21:43,553
It's very scary to say,
"Shed this part of you."
472
00:21:43,553 --> 00:21:44,471
[Tan] I know.
473
00:21:44,471 --> 00:21:48,141
I'm just trying to buff
the very best of you, not change you.
474
00:21:48,141 --> 00:21:50,685
That means the world to me
475
00:21:50,685 --> 00:21:54,856
in a place that wants
to continually change who you are.
476
00:21:54,856 --> 00:21:58,401
Right, get back into
your basketball shorts and Saints shirt.
477
00:21:58,902 --> 00:22:00,695
- Thank you.
- [Steph] Thank you, Tan.
478
00:22:01,488 --> 00:22:02,489
She looks gorge.
479
00:22:02,489 --> 00:22:04,491
[upbeat music plays]
480
00:22:07,410 --> 00:22:09,621
♪ Acting a fool ♪
481
00:22:09,621 --> 00:22:10,663
♪ Ooh ♪
482
00:22:11,247 --> 00:22:13,083
♪ You got me in a trance ♪
483
00:22:14,501 --> 00:22:16,127
[Steph] Never been in a kitchen.
484
00:22:16,127 --> 00:22:18,963
Never in a restaurant kitchen?
So this is the first.
485
00:22:18,963 --> 00:22:21,049
- You're my first.
- I'm your first!
486
00:22:21,049 --> 00:22:22,592
I'm so honored.
487
00:22:23,468 --> 00:22:25,678
- Okay. You want to impress Ray?
- [Steph] Yes.
488
00:22:25,678 --> 00:22:28,098
We wanna show her
that you are very capable
489
00:22:28,098 --> 00:22:31,351
of preparing and consuming veggies.
490
00:22:31,351 --> 00:22:34,229
So we're actually gonna make
a wonderful salad.
491
00:22:34,229 --> 00:22:38,149
- Oh! Salad?
- It's so good. Salad.
492
00:22:38,149 --> 00:22:41,236
- Sorry. Have you ever--
- You lost me at "salad." [laughs]
493
00:22:41,236 --> 00:22:44,030
I have never met a grown adult...
494
00:22:44,030 --> 00:22:45,115
A lot of green.
495
00:22:45,115 --> 00:22:47,867
...a homeowner, in a committed relationship,
496
00:22:47,867 --> 00:22:50,495
who is so petrified of vegetables.
497
00:22:50,495 --> 00:22:53,790
She has to get a little uncomfortable.
She has to try new things.
498
00:22:53,790 --> 00:22:55,417
- Will you at least try?
- Uh...
499
00:22:55,417 --> 00:22:57,210
- I will try.
- Okay.
500
00:22:57,210 --> 00:22:58,336
It's just scary.
501
00:22:58,336 --> 00:23:01,965
[Antoni] I wanna show her that fruit
and veggies should be part of your meal.
502
00:23:01,965 --> 00:23:04,676
So I'm gonna overwhelm her,
like a Michael Bay movie,
503
00:23:04,676 --> 00:23:06,970
and we're gonna try all kinds of things.
504
00:23:07,846 --> 00:23:10,890
[Antoni] Okay. In the summer,
watermelon and tomato,
505
00:23:10,890 --> 00:23:12,559
it's a beautiful pairing.
506
00:23:12,559 --> 00:23:14,352
- [Steph] Really?
- [Antoni] Yes.
507
00:23:14,352 --> 00:23:15,770
Your favorite "vegetable."
508
00:23:15,770 --> 00:23:16,980
Yay!
509
00:23:16,980 --> 00:23:19,107
- Now she's excited.
- Now I get it.
510
00:23:19,107 --> 00:23:20,191
More corn.
511
00:23:20,775 --> 00:23:22,610
It's like "more cowbell." More corn!
512
00:23:22,610 --> 00:23:24,696
- [Antoni] Now an avocado.
- [Steph] Okay.
513
00:23:24,696 --> 00:23:27,449
[Ray] What would Ray say
if she saw you doing this?
514
00:23:27,449 --> 00:23:31,703
Well, her mind would be blown
once she saw me, like, taste things.
515
00:23:31,703 --> 00:23:32,704
- Tasting?
- Yeah.
516
00:23:32,704 --> 00:23:35,957
[Antoni] You love her very much.
I see the way you look at her.
517
00:23:35,957 --> 00:23:40,295
Very much. We've been together six years,
but I wanna be together sixty.
518
00:23:40,295 --> 00:23:41,296
- Yeah.
- You know?
519
00:23:42,088 --> 00:23:46,718
Have you ever had anything to celebrate
you and the life that you had?
520
00:23:46,718 --> 00:23:48,511
How does that make you feel?
521
00:23:48,511 --> 00:23:50,638
That's incredibly intimidating.
522
00:23:50,638 --> 00:23:51,639
Yeah.
523
00:23:51,639 --> 00:23:56,144
This housewarming is gonna be
closest family, closest friends,
524
00:23:56,144 --> 00:23:57,479
in our own space.
525
00:23:57,479 --> 00:23:58,771
What we say goes.
526
00:23:58,771 --> 00:24:01,483
My family, they see us,
and they know we're together,
527
00:24:01,483 --> 00:24:04,444
but I've never really said,
like, "This is who I am,"
528
00:24:04,444 --> 00:24:07,280
and, "This is what I need,"
and, "Take it or leave it."
529
00:24:07,906 --> 00:24:09,324
Yeah. I get it.
530
00:24:09,908 --> 00:24:11,659
Part of growing up, when I realized
531
00:24:11,659 --> 00:24:14,287
that there was
a part of me that liked guys,
532
00:24:15,288 --> 00:24:17,832
it was so terrifying.
533
00:24:17,832 --> 00:24:20,293
When I'd hang out with my dad,
it would be like,
534
00:24:20,293 --> 00:24:23,588
"Okay, let's talk about things
that you're comfortable with."
535
00:24:23,588 --> 00:24:26,341
- And I hid so many parts of myself.
- Yeah.
536
00:24:26,341 --> 00:24:29,010
- And it's exhausting.
- It's very exhausting.
537
00:24:29,594 --> 00:24:32,180
It makes me sad.
I know that it makes her sad.
538
00:24:32,180 --> 00:24:34,015
- Totally.
- [Steph] That's not fair.
539
00:24:34,015 --> 00:24:36,935
There's a price with that,
and it's your well-being.
540
00:24:36,935 --> 00:24:39,437
It's like, do you really
wanna go through life
541
00:24:39,938 --> 00:24:42,273
giving people
exactly what's expected of you?
542
00:24:44,150 --> 00:24:46,069
Like, show them a different side.
543
00:24:47,904 --> 00:24:48,905
Yeah.
544
00:24:48,905 --> 00:24:51,699
- Yeah.
- [Steph] I'm not just this crazy fan.
545
00:24:51,699 --> 00:24:52,742
[Antoni] Right.
546
00:24:52,742 --> 00:24:56,454
That's a part of you, a great part,
but there's so much more, right?
547
00:24:56,454 --> 00:24:58,623
Now you know that's not working anymore
548
00:24:58,623 --> 00:25:00,166
because you want change.
549
00:25:00,166 --> 00:25:01,084
Yeah.
550
00:25:02,210 --> 00:25:04,754
[Antoni] And it all starts
with trying a cucumber.
551
00:25:04,754 --> 00:25:06,756
Oh!
552
00:25:07,423 --> 00:25:08,591
It's just a veggie.
553
00:25:09,092 --> 00:25:12,303
When I think about crunchy veggies,
it makes me cringe a little.
554
00:25:12,303 --> 00:25:15,181
[Antoni] Okay. Do you have a desire
to try just a little
555
00:25:15,181 --> 00:25:16,766
and see how it makes you feel?
556
00:25:18,268 --> 00:25:19,102
[Steph] Ugh.
557
00:25:19,102 --> 00:25:21,604
That is gonna taste really green though.
558
00:25:21,604 --> 00:25:23,940
[Antoni] It is
because it's a very green veggie.
559
00:25:26,192 --> 00:25:31,239
Just her trying a little piece of cucumber
is like an entire production.
560
00:25:31,239 --> 00:25:33,783
- Can I make it a bit smaller?
- [Antoni] Of course.
561
00:25:33,783 --> 00:25:35,618
[Antoni] Her body actually recoils.
562
00:25:35,618 --> 00:25:36,953
- Oh!
- [Antoni] Baby steps.
563
00:25:36,953 --> 00:25:38,454
This is like a legit fear.
564
00:25:38,454 --> 00:25:39,622
You got this.
565
00:25:44,586 --> 00:25:46,337
- It's okay.
- It's not your favorite.
566
00:25:46,337 --> 00:25:48,131
Mm-mm. Nah.
567
00:25:48,131 --> 00:25:50,508
I cannot believe that I didn't vomit.
568
00:25:50,508 --> 00:25:53,511
Okay. We're gonna leave these
'cause you're not a fan.
569
00:25:53,511 --> 00:25:54,429
Bless you.
570
00:25:54,429 --> 00:25:55,471
You know what?
571
00:25:55,471 --> 00:25:59,100
Progress, not perfection.
At least she's eating fresh food.
572
00:26:00,018 --> 00:26:01,853
[Antoni] I'm gonna take my pepitas.
573
00:26:01,853 --> 00:26:03,855
- Pumpkin seeds.
- [Steph] Pumpkin seeds?
574
00:26:03,855 --> 00:26:05,106
- [Antoni] Yeah.
- Okay.
575
00:26:05,607 --> 00:26:07,900
[Antoni] Beautiful.
Almost at the finish line.
576
00:26:07,900 --> 00:26:11,988
- I didn't mean to do a sports reference.
- That's okay. I can appreciate that.
577
00:26:12,572 --> 00:26:14,282
[Antoni] Red onions are intense.
578
00:26:14,282 --> 00:26:18,453
If you soak it in a little bit of water,
it's gonna get rid of that intensity.
579
00:26:18,453 --> 00:26:20,622
- Even if it sits for a few minutes.
- [Steph] Really?
580
00:26:20,622 --> 00:26:23,750
And then a nice, creamy dressing.
581
00:26:24,792 --> 00:26:26,085
All right, let's try.
582
00:26:26,085 --> 00:26:27,378
Oh man. Okay.
583
00:26:27,378 --> 00:26:28,504
[tense music plays]
584
00:26:28,504 --> 00:26:29,505
Ah.
585
00:26:29,505 --> 00:26:30,673
[Antoni] It's okay.
586
00:26:30,673 --> 00:26:31,966
It's just a salad.
587
00:26:31,966 --> 00:26:33,801
That is a lot of green, my friend.
588
00:26:33,801 --> 00:26:36,346
I'm not asking you
to eat this entire thing.
589
00:26:36,346 --> 00:26:38,473
We're just taking a little bite each.
590
00:26:39,432 --> 00:26:41,059
- Oh. Okay.
- [Antoni] Got it.
591
00:26:45,396 --> 00:26:47,065
[Steph] You first. Okay.
592
00:26:47,732 --> 00:26:48,566
[grunts]
593
00:26:53,988 --> 00:26:57,742
- That actually has really good flavor.
- Excuse me?
594
00:26:57,742 --> 00:26:59,035
[laughs]
595
00:26:59,035 --> 00:26:59,952
See?
596
00:26:59,952 --> 00:27:02,997
I'm not expecting her
to be steaming broccoli
597
00:27:02,997 --> 00:27:04,248
five nights out of the week,
598
00:27:04,248 --> 00:27:09,253
but there's so much growth that comes
through moving through uncomfortability.
599
00:27:09,253 --> 00:27:10,630
Really good. [chuckles]
600
00:27:10,630 --> 00:27:11,547
[Antoni] It is?
601
00:27:12,090 --> 00:27:15,176
And maybe try something different
than boxed mac and cheese.
602
00:27:16,135 --> 00:27:18,137
It's crazy. That, like, blew my mind.
603
00:27:18,137 --> 00:27:21,349
Yes! Remember that next time
you're in the drive-through line
604
00:27:21,349 --> 00:27:22,809
of a fast-food chain restaurant.
605
00:27:22,809 --> 00:27:23,851
Think of me.
606
00:27:23,851 --> 00:27:25,853
Saying, "Uh-uh-uh."
607
00:27:26,938 --> 00:27:28,981
[funky music plays]
608
00:27:36,155 --> 00:27:38,157
{\an8}♪ Goodbye, so long ♪
609
00:27:38,157 --> 00:27:40,159
{\an8}♪ Farewell, auf wiedersehen... ♪
610
00:27:40,159 --> 00:27:43,621
I don't think Steph has ever
thought about what goes into a home
611
00:27:43,621 --> 00:27:47,458
and, honestly, what goes into
a shared home for them as a couple.
612
00:27:50,002 --> 00:27:54,799
And not just a crash pad
full of sports memorabilia.
613
00:28:01,597 --> 00:28:03,975
[dance music plays]
614
00:28:08,938 --> 00:28:10,231
- Ready?
- Ready.
615
00:28:10,231 --> 00:28:11,149
After you.
616
00:28:12,108 --> 00:28:14,318
You're like,
"Why did you bring me to a bar?"
617
00:28:14,318 --> 00:28:18,114
[laughs] Is it five o'clock... somewhere?
618
00:28:18,114 --> 00:28:19,574
Somewhere, it is.
619
00:28:20,450 --> 00:28:22,326
[Karamo] You shared
that something happened
620
00:28:22,326 --> 00:28:24,579
where you gave your seat up in a bar,
621
00:28:24,579 --> 00:28:29,292
and then it sort of, like, caused you
to feel very uncomfortable.
622
00:28:29,292 --> 00:28:30,460
Yeah.
623
00:28:30,460 --> 00:28:32,170
But I don't think that's it.
624
00:28:32,670 --> 00:28:37,592
Yeah. I mean, there's reaffirmations
that happen to me daily
625
00:28:37,592 --> 00:28:40,636
walking down the street, walking the dog.
626
00:28:40,636 --> 00:28:41,637
You know, I...
627
00:28:42,346 --> 00:28:47,435
Even when they put
the Fan of the Year thing on social media,
628
00:28:47,435 --> 00:28:50,521
there was a lot
of negative things on the thread.
629
00:28:51,564 --> 00:28:52,857
Every day.
630
00:28:52,857 --> 00:28:55,151
- [Karamo] Every day.
- Mm-hmm.
631
00:28:55,735 --> 00:28:58,070
Have you ever heard
of internalized homophobia?
632
00:28:59,113 --> 00:29:00,531
- No.
- [Karamo] Okay.
633
00:29:00,531 --> 00:29:05,828
So internalized homophobia
is when you have feelings, thoughts, ideas
634
00:29:05,828 --> 00:29:09,791
that have been taught to you
from the outside world that are negative,
635
00:29:09,791 --> 00:29:12,460
that you then start to take on as your own
636
00:29:12,460 --> 00:29:14,712
and start to make those
a part of who you are.
637
00:29:15,213 --> 00:29:19,717
I mean, I always looked at it
like I just tried to "please people"
638
00:29:19,717 --> 00:29:22,094
or I just worked
to make others comfortable.
639
00:29:22,094 --> 00:29:25,932
That is literally one of the first acts
of internalizing homophobia.
640
00:29:26,557 --> 00:29:28,976
You say, "I don't wanna
make you feel uncomfortable,
641
00:29:28,976 --> 00:29:33,064
so I'm gonna deny a piece of myself.
I'm not gonna hold someone's hand
642
00:29:33,064 --> 00:29:35,608
because I don't want people
to look at us weird."
643
00:29:35,608 --> 00:29:39,362
"I'm not going to be as comfortable
with having a child
644
00:29:39,362 --> 00:29:42,448
because I don't want my child
to have to explain me."
645
00:29:43,157 --> 00:29:47,995
"I don't wanna put up a photo
so that my father has to explain that."
646
00:29:49,705 --> 00:29:51,916
You referred to yourself as a "that."
647
00:29:55,795 --> 00:29:57,588
That's how I feel sometimes.
648
00:29:57,588 --> 00:29:58,548
[Karamo] I get it.
649
00:29:58,548 --> 00:30:01,968
That's all the homophobia
that you would receive on the outside
650
00:30:01,968 --> 00:30:03,886
that now you're saying to yourself.
651
00:30:05,721 --> 00:30:09,475
If you move into the new house,
you're gonna take that baggage with you.
652
00:30:09,475 --> 00:30:11,060
Yeah. Mm-hmm.
653
00:30:11,936 --> 00:30:15,189
It... it's 'cause it's easy.
It's comfortable. It's...
654
00:30:18,109 --> 00:30:19,402
"normal."
655
00:30:20,361 --> 00:30:22,238
[poignant music plays]
656
00:30:22,238 --> 00:30:26,284
Just every community I've been a part of
657
00:30:27,201 --> 00:30:29,161
since being in North Louisiana
658
00:30:29,161 --> 00:30:32,081
has been like,
"This is the space you get."
659
00:30:32,790 --> 00:30:35,710
And there was literally
one or two gay bars,
660
00:30:35,710 --> 00:30:39,046
and it was, "That's your spot.
That's your only spot."
661
00:30:39,630 --> 00:30:44,343
I have programmed myself to say,
"You're only allowed this,"
662
00:30:44,343 --> 00:30:46,345
or "You're only allowed this."
663
00:30:46,345 --> 00:30:47,638
"You can't be this...
664
00:30:49,098 --> 00:30:50,057
anywhere else."
665
00:30:50,057 --> 00:30:51,893
I feel a little cornered in.
666
00:30:52,643 --> 00:30:53,477
And...
667
00:30:55,479 --> 00:31:01,652
I feel like... I feel like I've been,
like, feeding, like, the fear, my fear,
668
00:31:01,652 --> 00:31:05,990
because of what might happen
or could happen or has happened.
669
00:31:05,990 --> 00:31:06,908
That's real.
670
00:31:07,742 --> 00:31:08,701
Yeah.
671
00:31:08,701 --> 00:31:11,829
If you're in a space
where you can't fully be yourself
672
00:31:11,829 --> 00:31:14,916
and where, to use your words,
"where I feel cornered,"
673
00:31:15,416 --> 00:31:17,209
like you can't be,
674
00:31:17,960 --> 00:31:21,380
then this internalized homophobia
is only gonna get worse and worse.
675
00:31:24,175 --> 00:31:26,886
It's not fair to you
to put yourself in a corner
676
00:31:28,179 --> 00:31:30,556
and for everyone else to be living free.
677
00:31:30,556 --> 00:31:32,016
It's not okay.
678
00:31:33,935 --> 00:31:35,102
It's so hard.
679
00:31:35,895 --> 00:31:36,771
I know.
680
00:31:38,814 --> 00:31:39,690
I know.
681
00:31:41,484 --> 00:31:44,195
I understand the realities
of the world we live in,
682
00:31:44,695 --> 00:31:49,075
but what's beautiful about our community
is that we are triumphant and resilient.
683
00:31:49,075 --> 00:31:52,411
And even in the spaces
that seem the darkest, we bring light.
684
00:31:53,996 --> 00:31:56,165
[Steph]
It's hard to find people that understand.
685
00:31:57,333 --> 00:31:58,167
I know.
686
00:31:58,876 --> 00:32:02,546
That's why I asked about your brother,
who's also part of the community,
687
00:32:02,546 --> 00:32:04,256
who you don't communicate with.
688
00:32:04,256 --> 00:32:05,174
Why?
689
00:32:05,967 --> 00:32:08,469
He's very secure in who he is.
690
00:32:09,428 --> 00:32:12,306
And I do feel,
'cause I've been to Chicago,
691
00:32:12,306 --> 00:32:16,310
that he has "more space" to be himself.
692
00:32:19,480 --> 00:32:23,192
And so he gets to do all this,
693
00:32:23,192 --> 00:32:26,237
you know, pride
and things that empower you.
694
00:32:26,237 --> 00:32:27,989
Come on. He's your brother.
695
00:32:28,990 --> 00:32:32,702
He's gay. You think he doesn't know
all the BS you've been through?
696
00:32:35,538 --> 00:32:37,206
- Maybe. I don't know.
- You don't know.
697
00:32:37,707 --> 00:32:39,542
I don't put the weight on anybody.
698
00:32:40,543 --> 00:32:43,462
But you need support in saying to someone,
699
00:32:43,462 --> 00:32:46,590
"I'm in a box right now,
and I feel all this weight."
700
00:32:46,590 --> 00:32:48,175
"I need you."
701
00:32:49,135 --> 00:32:51,178
Sometimes it'd be helpful to have.
702
00:32:52,138 --> 00:32:53,639
Have you ever said that to him?
703
00:32:57,143 --> 00:32:59,145
The reason the LGBT community thrives
704
00:32:59,145 --> 00:33:02,231
is because we understand
that support is important.
705
00:33:02,231 --> 00:33:04,150
[relaxing music plays]
706
00:33:04,150 --> 00:33:05,151
Hey, Steph.
707
00:33:05,943 --> 00:33:08,696
{\an8}- [sighs]
- [laughs]
708
00:33:09,739 --> 00:33:11,115
{\an8}[Mark] How are you?
709
00:33:11,115 --> 00:33:14,160
[Karamo] I invited Stephanie's brother
because she needs support
710
00:33:14,160 --> 00:33:16,662
to get that courage,
push down these walls,
711
00:33:16,662 --> 00:33:18,956
and really face
what was going on within her.
712
00:33:18,956 --> 00:33:19,874
All right.
713
00:33:21,125 --> 00:33:22,043
So...
714
00:33:23,419 --> 00:33:25,254
I want you to talk to him.
He's right here.
715
00:33:30,051 --> 00:33:32,428
It has been very, very hard living here.
716
00:33:32,428 --> 00:33:33,929
[emotional music plays]
717
00:33:33,929 --> 00:33:36,974
The last few years
has been my biggest struggles.
718
00:33:37,808 --> 00:33:39,810
There's been a lot that's happened.
719
00:33:40,352 --> 00:33:45,441
And I've been very, very hard on myself
for so long, Mark.
720
00:33:47,068 --> 00:33:48,944
Jeez, Stephanie.
721
00:33:50,029 --> 00:33:55,451
I just felt like you always seemed
so good. You don't talk to me.
722
00:33:55,451 --> 00:33:59,080
I mean, in my mind,
you're just my awesome sister.
723
00:34:00,414 --> 00:34:04,168
You look at me,
and you see someone that's strong.
724
00:34:05,086 --> 00:34:10,299
But what you've seen
is the person that I want people to see,
725
00:34:10,299 --> 00:34:12,676
the... the fan and the bird
726
00:34:12,676 --> 00:34:17,473
and the things that I...
that draws happiness to me
727
00:34:17,473 --> 00:34:19,934
because in the inside,
I wasn't very happy.
728
00:34:19,934 --> 00:34:22,186
Yeah. I know. I get it.
729
00:34:23,729 --> 00:34:27,274
Breaks my heart
to know, like, that you're struggling.
730
00:34:28,442 --> 00:34:30,945
I wish you just would talk to me about it.
731
00:34:30,945 --> 00:34:35,407
Tell me that you're not doing good.
I would be here in a heartbeat for you.
732
00:34:35,407 --> 00:34:37,409
You always seem so busy
733
00:34:38,077 --> 00:34:39,578
and so happy
734
00:34:39,578 --> 00:34:43,124
and everything you're doing
to live your life, so I don't bother you.
735
00:34:43,124 --> 00:34:44,708
I wanna be there for you.
736
00:34:44,708 --> 00:34:48,295
And I wanna just...
I don't want you to feel that way anymore.
737
00:34:50,673 --> 00:34:52,216
♪ Who they're coming from... ♪
738
00:34:52,216 --> 00:34:56,470
Are you ready
to start finding happiness as Stephanie,
739
00:34:56,470 --> 00:34:58,722
and not in this other stuff?
740
00:34:58,722 --> 00:35:00,850
It's gonna take some steps.
741
00:35:00,850 --> 00:35:03,144
The first step is finding support.
742
00:35:03,727 --> 00:35:05,020
You have it in Ray.
743
00:35:05,938 --> 00:35:07,982
But also you have it right here.
744
00:35:09,567 --> 00:35:11,318
♪ How can we keep... ♪
745
00:35:11,318 --> 00:35:13,445
[Mark] As your brother, I'm there.
746
00:35:14,321 --> 00:35:17,408
I feel like the little kid
at your basketball game cheering.
747
00:35:17,408 --> 00:35:20,744
I legit feel that way.
I'm still, like, your number-one fan.
748
00:35:20,744 --> 00:35:24,123
You know, and I just... I love you so much.
749
00:35:24,123 --> 00:35:25,124
I really do.
750
00:35:25,124 --> 00:35:27,209
♪ Let the sunlight burn us ♪
751
00:35:27,209 --> 00:35:30,754
♪ Peel off the skin
That's kept the truth inside us ♪
752
00:35:30,754 --> 00:35:33,883
♪ Let the stones crush
All our weary bones ♪
753
00:35:33,883 --> 00:35:37,761
♪ When the walls come down ♪
754
00:35:38,387 --> 00:35:42,308
One of the things I love
about our community is that we celebrate.
755
00:35:42,308 --> 00:35:44,143
[both laugh]
756
00:35:44,143 --> 00:35:46,687
I'm literally crying
and snotting everywhere,
757
00:35:46,687 --> 00:35:48,689
so I don't think I need to be out.
758
00:35:48,689 --> 00:35:52,026
No. You're going out, honey.
You're going out, honey.
759
00:35:52,026 --> 00:35:54,486
Okay, I've dried my eyes.
760
00:35:55,029 --> 00:35:55,988
Now let's go party
761
00:35:55,988 --> 00:35:59,992
because Stephanie needs to realize
that there's people and a community
762
00:35:59,992 --> 00:36:02,119
{\an8}that want to support her here in NOLA.
763
00:36:02,703 --> 00:36:05,998
Let's go have some fun.
Let's go shake it a little bit.
764
00:36:05,998 --> 00:36:07,374
- Yay!
- [laughing]
765
00:36:07,374 --> 00:36:08,959
Hello!
766
00:36:08,959 --> 00:36:10,461
[Antoni] Hi, girl!
767
00:36:11,253 --> 00:36:12,922
- It's been so long.
- I know.
768
00:36:12,922 --> 00:36:15,174
- Are you the brother?
- I am. Yeah, I'm Mark.
769
00:36:15,174 --> 00:36:16,217
Nice to meet you.
770
00:36:16,217 --> 00:36:17,468
My husband, Mark.
771
00:36:17,468 --> 00:36:19,470
- Hi, Mark.
- Hello. How are you?
772
00:36:20,888 --> 00:36:22,806
- My husband, Dewey.
- Hi. How are you?
773
00:36:22,806 --> 00:36:24,433
Everyone, this is Kev.
774
00:36:25,267 --> 00:36:27,186
[Tan] So when did you come out?
775
00:36:27,186 --> 00:36:29,396
It was about five years after Stephanie.
776
00:36:29,396 --> 00:36:31,941
I would have had
a much harder time without her.
777
00:36:31,941 --> 00:36:34,568
- She was the first person I told.
- That's lovely.
778
00:36:35,152 --> 00:36:36,195
I knew.
779
00:36:36,195 --> 00:36:37,988
[laughing]
780
00:36:39,823 --> 00:36:42,910
Go, Tanny!
781
00:36:42,910 --> 00:36:43,869
Oh!
782
00:36:43,869 --> 00:36:46,664
[Antoni] When you're part
of the LGBTQIA+ community,
783
00:36:46,664 --> 00:36:51,335
you hear this so much,
like, the concept of chosen family.
784
00:36:51,335 --> 00:36:54,546
Stephanie needs people
who are queer, who are friends,
785
00:36:54,546 --> 00:36:57,967
who can see and celebrate her
and know what she's up against.
786
00:36:57,967 --> 00:37:02,096
To surround yourself by people
who make you feel loved and comfortable.
787
00:37:02,096 --> 00:37:04,640
[Jonathan] We feel at home.
We are at ease.
788
00:37:04,640 --> 00:37:06,976
We are finding our queer joy.
789
00:37:06,976 --> 00:37:09,478
Aw!
790
00:37:09,478 --> 00:37:11,480
To Southern lesbians.
791
00:37:11,480 --> 00:37:14,149
- Yeah!
- [all] To Southern lesbians!
792
00:37:15,067 --> 00:37:16,694
[upbeat music plays]
793
00:37:22,449 --> 00:37:25,744
♪ Da, da, da, da, da ♪
794
00:37:28,289 --> 00:37:30,416
[Jonathan] Welcome to Bandit Hair Company.
795
00:37:30,416 --> 00:37:31,917
- Ah!
- [Steph] This is cute.
796
00:37:31,917 --> 00:37:33,294
Hannah, we're home.
797
00:37:33,294 --> 00:37:34,837
{\an8}- [laughs]
- Stephanie.
798
00:37:34,837 --> 00:37:36,755
- Nice to meet you.
- Nice to meet you.
799
00:37:36,755 --> 00:37:39,550
{\an8}- Can you stand how cute this salon is?
- Super cute.
800
00:37:39,550 --> 00:37:42,011
[Jonathan] This is
a queer-owned establishment.
801
00:37:42,011 --> 00:37:43,637
- We love that.
- Yes.
802
00:37:43,637 --> 00:37:45,431
Can we make ourselves at home?
803
00:37:45,431 --> 00:37:47,516
- Yeah.
- We're going in. Take a seat.
804
00:37:48,267 --> 00:37:50,644
Um, okay, honestly... Ah...
805
00:37:50,644 --> 00:37:52,396
[Steph laughs]
806
00:37:52,396 --> 00:37:55,774
Just loosening this hair up
because do you know what I realized?
807
00:37:55,774 --> 00:37:57,901
You're giving me helmet.
808
00:37:58,485 --> 00:38:00,529
- It didn't move.
- It's always been brown?
809
00:38:01,113 --> 00:38:04,450
Yes, always.
I've never put color in my hair.
810
00:38:04,450 --> 00:38:07,453
- **** right on off.
- [laughs]
811
00:38:07,453 --> 00:38:08,370
Serious.
812
00:38:08,370 --> 00:38:12,624
- So, this is, like, fully virgin-ass hair.
- It's virgin hair, yes.
813
00:38:12,624 --> 00:38:15,336
The way you said it
with a Southern accent.
814
00:38:15,336 --> 00:38:18,047
- So can I tell you what my idea is?
- Okay.
815
00:38:18,672 --> 00:38:21,592
- I wanna go shorter.
- Okay.
816
00:38:21,592 --> 00:38:23,385
And blond.
817
00:38:24,595 --> 00:38:26,180
Breathe. Let's breathe into it.
818
00:38:26,680 --> 00:38:28,474
Open your mouth. Ah...
819
00:38:29,224 --> 00:38:30,517
Blond though? Like...
820
00:38:31,185 --> 00:38:32,186
Okay.
821
00:38:33,187 --> 00:38:34,938
Here's the pros and the pros.
822
00:38:34,938 --> 00:38:37,358
- 'Cause you notice what there wasn't?
- No cons.
823
00:38:37,358 --> 00:38:38,275
Right, honey.
824
00:38:38,275 --> 00:38:41,153
I think this actually
could be an empowering exercise
825
00:38:41,153 --> 00:38:43,072
to explore a different side of you,
826
00:38:43,072 --> 00:38:46,283
and I feel this is the time
for you to make like Ariana Grande
827
00:38:46,283 --> 00:38:47,701
and break free.
828
00:38:47,701 --> 00:38:49,995
It's just hard. I just can't picture it.
829
00:38:49,995 --> 00:38:51,455
The other pro.
830
00:38:52,039 --> 00:38:57,086
A fierce lesbian is never more powerful
after she has a ****...
831
00:38:57,086 --> 00:38:59,380
especially her first bleach and tone.
Like, it is...
832
00:38:59,880 --> 00:39:00,714
- Oh!
- [laughs]
833
00:39:00,714 --> 00:39:03,967
How do we take someone who is
a little down on their confidence?
834
00:39:03,967 --> 00:39:05,719
Honey, we just do a little...
835
00:39:07,096 --> 00:39:08,263
bleach and tone, honey.
836
00:39:08,263 --> 00:39:11,642
- My virgin hair is in your hands.
- [screams]
837
00:39:11,642 --> 00:39:13,143
Let's do it!
838
00:39:13,143 --> 00:39:17,481
Bottom line, Stephanie has
a lot more courage than what she realizes.
839
00:39:17,481 --> 00:39:19,400
I like to, like, throw a curveball.
840
00:39:19,400 --> 00:39:22,152
Gonna go light,
gonna go bright, gonna say, "What?"
841
00:39:22,152 --> 00:39:24,905
"My name is Stephanie,
and I came to slay."
842
00:39:24,905 --> 00:39:27,574
Let's cut your hair
and bleach the **** out of it.
843
00:39:28,158 --> 00:39:29,076
I'm at your mercy.
844
00:39:30,411 --> 00:39:31,912
♪ G-L-A-M ♪
845
00:39:32,496 --> 00:39:35,707
You see how hot the shape is
when we took the bulk off the sides?
846
00:39:35,707 --> 00:39:37,709
I don't feel like a Q-tip anymore.
847
00:39:37,709 --> 00:39:39,545
♪ G-L-A-M ♪
848
00:39:39,545 --> 00:39:41,755
Why are queer people so hot and talented?
849
00:39:41,755 --> 00:39:43,465
[laughs]
850
00:39:47,553 --> 00:39:49,638
[Steph] I feel like
I have a rainbow comb-over.
851
00:39:49,638 --> 00:39:51,598
- That's it.
- [Jonathan] Rainbow Brite.
852
00:39:51,598 --> 00:39:53,725
[Steph] Ray is gonna lose her mind.
853
00:39:53,725 --> 00:39:55,018
♪ G-L-A-M ♪
854
00:39:55,018 --> 00:39:57,771
♪ We got a housewarming party ♪
855
00:39:58,355 --> 00:40:01,608
♪ Lesbians tongue-kissing
In front of their families ♪
856
00:40:01,608 --> 00:40:04,319
At the housewarming party ♪
857
00:40:04,319 --> 00:40:06,447
It's like a new Taylor Swift song.
858
00:40:06,447 --> 00:40:07,990
♪ Lesbian love ♪
859
00:40:07,990 --> 00:40:10,409
It's like Taylor Swift
and Melissa Etheridge.
860
00:40:10,409 --> 00:40:11,618
[Jonathan] I love it.
861
00:40:11,618 --> 00:40:14,538
That is, like, the combo
that we've always needed.
862
00:40:14,538 --> 00:40:16,748
♪ No rules, just do... ♪
863
00:40:16,748 --> 00:40:18,834
- [Steph] No going back now.
- Oh yeah.
864
00:40:18,834 --> 00:40:21,378
Zero tolerance for going back right now.
865
00:40:21,378 --> 00:40:23,505
♪ I don't act cool... ♪
866
00:40:23,505 --> 00:40:27,968
They cannot say you did not go
into this experience with open mind.
867
00:40:27,968 --> 00:40:29,428
You really took a leap.
868
00:40:30,012 --> 00:40:30,971
♪ Get it ♪
869
00:40:31,638 --> 00:40:34,057
This is arguably one
of my biggest makeovers
870
00:40:34,057 --> 00:40:35,601
in Queer Eye history, honey.
871
00:40:35,601 --> 00:40:38,061
[Jonathan] This makeover is ******* major.
872
00:40:38,562 --> 00:40:42,232
And I'm just so proud of Stephanie
for embracing this change.
873
00:40:42,232 --> 00:40:46,528
Oh my God, this looks so amazing.
874
00:40:46,528 --> 00:40:47,863
The crowd goes wild.
875
00:40:47,863 --> 00:40:49,656
[mimics crowd chanting]
Hoo, hoo, hoo, hoo!
876
00:40:49,656 --> 00:40:50,699
Yes!
877
00:40:51,200 --> 00:40:52,659
- Are you ready?
- [Steph] No.
878
00:40:52,659 --> 00:40:53,702
I'm so scared.
879
00:40:53,702 --> 00:40:57,122
I mean, you really look...
It looks amazing. Let's see it. Ready?
880
00:40:58,415 --> 00:41:01,835
- Three, two, one.
- [sighs]
881
00:41:02,711 --> 00:41:03,921
New Stephanie.
882
00:41:04,421 --> 00:41:05,881
Holy shit!
883
00:41:08,133 --> 00:41:09,593
Jonathan.
884
00:41:09,593 --> 00:41:11,220
Oh my God.
885
00:41:11,762 --> 00:41:13,180
It's good, no?
886
00:41:15,641 --> 00:41:18,060
Oh my God.
887
00:41:18,060 --> 00:41:20,646
Let's go look at it
up in your face, up close.
888
00:41:20,646 --> 00:41:22,189
Jesus.
889
00:41:22,189 --> 00:41:24,775
Play with it. Feel it.
Put your fingers in it.
890
00:41:24,775 --> 00:41:28,403
Doesn't it look cool? Isn't it giving
a little edge, a little cool?
891
00:41:28,403 --> 00:41:32,908
- It's, like, cool Stephanie.
- It's way cooler than I've ever been.
892
00:41:32,908 --> 00:41:35,619
Come over here.
I wanna get you in natural light.
893
00:41:36,245 --> 00:41:39,665
And, like, honestly,
I'm gonna just center ourselves a tiny bit
894
00:41:39,665 --> 00:41:43,210
because I would love for you
to feel a little bit proud of yourself.
895
00:41:43,210 --> 00:41:46,463
Like, "I just embraced a huge change,
896
00:41:46,463 --> 00:41:48,632
and even though change is tough,
897
00:41:48,632 --> 00:41:50,342
I did that damn thing."
898
00:41:50,342 --> 00:41:54,179
For the first time
probably ever in my entire life
899
00:41:54,179 --> 00:41:56,682
have I, like, looked at my eyes.
900
00:41:57,641 --> 00:42:00,227
Like, I've never looked at my eyes.
901
00:42:01,520 --> 00:42:06,024
- I actually kind of like it.
- I know! I can see it growing on you!
902
00:42:06,733 --> 00:42:08,527
[Steph] This is incredible.
903
00:42:08,527 --> 00:42:11,071
The power of Ellen DeGeneres
compels you, darling.
904
00:42:11,071 --> 00:42:12,656
♪ Better ♪
905
00:42:12,656 --> 00:42:13,782
♪ Better for me ♪
906
00:42:13,782 --> 00:42:15,534
♪ Getting better ♪
907
00:42:15,534 --> 00:42:16,660
♪ Better for me ♪
908
00:42:16,660 --> 00:42:18,328
{\an8}♪ The time is right ♪
909
00:42:18,328 --> 00:42:21,582
{\an8}♪ I feel it getting closer every night ♪
910
00:42:21,582 --> 00:42:25,711
♪ It's just the beginning
And I'm gonna live taking chances ♪
911
00:42:25,711 --> 00:42:27,504
- ♪ Then if you fall... ♪
- [horn honks]
912
00:42:27,504 --> 00:42:29,965
- [Bobby] They're here!
- [Tan] Come on, Muppets.
913
00:42:32,092 --> 00:42:35,304
- [Bobby] Ooh!
- Whoa! I love it!
914
00:42:35,304 --> 00:42:36,430
This is awesome.
915
00:42:36,430 --> 00:42:37,931
Blond bombshell!
916
00:42:37,931 --> 00:42:40,517
- [Bobby] You...
- Tan's never been so speechless.
917
00:42:40,517 --> 00:42:43,687
- You look so good!
- [Tan] I can't believe it.
918
00:42:44,271 --> 00:42:46,648
She looks... I'm sorry to hit you.
You look gorge!
919
00:42:48,066 --> 00:42:49,735
- [Bobby] Wait till you see inside.
- Yeah.
920
00:42:49,735 --> 00:42:51,111
[Bobby] Here we go.
921
00:42:51,111 --> 00:42:53,196
Oh! Whoa.
922
00:42:53,196 --> 00:42:55,616
Oh my God!
923
00:42:56,533 --> 00:42:57,534
Wow!
924
00:42:57,534 --> 00:43:01,330
Sports memorabilia is actually really cool
when it's displayed properly
925
00:43:01,330 --> 00:43:03,582
and not just stacked to the ceiling.
926
00:43:03,582 --> 00:43:05,834
[Steph] It looks so nice and tasteful.
927
00:43:05,834 --> 00:43:08,337
[Bobby] The thing is,
you can move these around.
928
00:43:08,337 --> 00:43:11,965
We'll have that helmet out sometime,
then put it away, bring out another one.
929
00:43:11,965 --> 00:43:14,718
And I love that image
of those two tight ends.
930
00:43:14,718 --> 00:43:16,053
[laughs]
931
00:43:16,053 --> 00:43:18,221
- Gosh.
- That was the tip of the iceberg.
932
00:43:18,221 --> 00:43:19,723
- Yeah, just wait.
- Yeah.
933
00:43:20,223 --> 00:43:23,435
- Oh my God!
- [Jonathan] Shut up.
934
00:43:23,435 --> 00:43:25,687
- [Steph] Oh my God!
- [Karamo] It's so gorge.
935
00:43:26,855 --> 00:43:29,691
- [Jonathan] Bobby, that is chic, honey.
- [Karamo] So chic.
936
00:43:29,691 --> 00:43:32,569
- [Steph] Aw, look at the pictures!
- [Bobby] Right?
937
00:43:33,862 --> 00:43:35,364
[tearfully] This is so nice!
938
00:43:36,114 --> 00:43:38,700
It feels like home. You know?
939
00:43:38,700 --> 00:43:42,204
You guys are the epitome
of what a successful relationship is.
940
00:43:42,204 --> 00:43:44,873
You should be proud of that
and show it off.
941
00:43:44,873 --> 00:43:47,209
- [Steph] Thank you so much.
- My pleasure.
942
00:43:47,209 --> 00:43:51,129
- [Jonathan] Look at the outside!
- [Bobby] Let's do go outside. You ready?
943
00:43:51,129 --> 00:43:52,506
- Ready.
- Yeah?
944
00:43:53,465 --> 00:43:55,342
[Steph] Oh my God, Bobby!
945
00:43:55,342 --> 00:43:58,220
[Bobby] It's an extension.
You doubled your floor space.
946
00:43:58,220 --> 00:43:59,429
[Jonathan] The garden!
947
00:43:59,429 --> 00:44:01,431
- [Antoni] S'mores!
- [Jonathan] Seating area!
948
00:44:01,431 --> 00:44:03,350
[Steph] This is insane.
949
00:44:03,350 --> 00:44:06,019
[Bobby] The cool thing
about this outer furniture
950
00:44:06,019 --> 00:44:09,189
is that the cover is built in.
951
00:44:09,189 --> 00:44:11,692
- [Steph] That is unbelievable.
- [Tan] So lovely.
952
00:44:11,692 --> 00:44:13,735
- There's Velcro.
- [Tan] So smart.
953
00:44:13,735 --> 00:44:14,945
And boom.
954
00:44:14,945 --> 00:44:16,822
- [Steph] That is so nice!
- Yes.
955
00:44:16,822 --> 00:44:18,865
There's so much more inside. Wanna see?
956
00:44:18,865 --> 00:44:20,367
I can't fathom any more.
957
00:44:20,367 --> 00:44:21,868
[Bobby] You can take it.
958
00:44:22,452 --> 00:44:23,870
[Steph gasps]
959
00:44:23,870 --> 00:44:25,997
Oh my God!
960
00:44:25,997 --> 00:44:28,291
- This is surreal.
- [Antoni] What?!
961
00:44:28,291 --> 00:44:30,919
- [Jonathan] This ceiling.
- [Steph] Oh my God!
962
00:44:30,919 --> 00:44:33,839
[Bobby] I painted the ceiling dark
because you had tall ceilings,
963
00:44:33,839 --> 00:44:35,382
but you didn't really notice.
964
00:44:35,382 --> 00:44:38,552
- [Steph] Unbelievable.
- [Tan] Those side tables are gorgeous.
965
00:44:38,552 --> 00:44:41,138
[Jonathan]
This is the best bedroom he's ever done.
966
00:44:42,055 --> 00:44:43,390
[emotional music plays]
967
00:44:43,390 --> 00:44:46,727
This has been
the biggest blessing of my entire life.
968
00:44:48,103 --> 00:44:54,192
I knew this was gonna be
a really difficult, challenging process
969
00:44:54,192 --> 00:44:57,446
that I couldn't have imagined,
as hard as it was.
970
00:44:59,781 --> 00:45:01,658
You guys are just... you're amazing.
971
00:45:01,658 --> 00:45:03,744
You're just such amazing people.
972
00:45:05,454 --> 00:45:07,831
- Thank you so much.
- You're welcome, honey.
973
00:45:11,251 --> 00:45:14,296
- [Jonathan] This is your affirmation deck.
- Oh my gosh.
974
00:45:14,296 --> 00:45:16,506
- You're just gonna pick one a day.
- Okay.
975
00:45:16,506 --> 00:45:20,218
And we're just gonna work on
speaking sweetly to ourselves.
976
00:45:20,218 --> 00:45:21,595
[Steph] This is awesome.
977
00:45:22,095 --> 00:45:23,472
Why don't you just try one?
978
00:45:24,222 --> 00:45:26,933
"I am worthy of the very best in life,
979
00:45:26,933 --> 00:45:30,145
and I now lovingly allow myself
to accept it."
980
00:45:32,522 --> 00:45:33,523
That was so good.
981
00:45:34,649 --> 00:45:35,817
All right, kids.
982
00:45:36,318 --> 00:45:38,987
- You ready for this?
- [Bobby] Stephanie, Stephanie!
983
00:45:38,987 --> 00:45:41,573
- Step out for us, my love.
- Stephanie's number one.
984
00:45:42,073 --> 00:45:44,409
She is so-- Oh my God!
985
00:45:44,409 --> 00:45:47,370
- [Jonathan] She's so sexy.
- [Antoni] I love it.
986
00:45:47,370 --> 00:45:49,164
- Love it.
- [Karamo] How do you feel?
987
00:45:49,664 --> 00:45:52,042
[Steph] It is not something
I would've picked for myself.
988
00:45:52,042 --> 00:45:54,628
I wouldn't have
pictured myself a blonde either.
989
00:45:54,628 --> 00:45:59,299
So I'm just taken back
at how good it makes me feel.
990
00:45:59,299 --> 00:46:00,884
But also, you look damn good.
991
00:46:00,884 --> 00:46:03,637
Damn good. It works. [chuckles]
992
00:46:04,930 --> 00:46:08,183
[Steph] Nobody's gonna be expecting
what they see. Not just with this house
993
00:46:08,183 --> 00:46:11,311
and how it reflects
Rachael and I's relationship,
994
00:46:11,812 --> 00:46:15,690
but me and the commitment that I did
995
00:46:15,690 --> 00:46:17,567
and that I'm proud of myself for.
996
00:46:18,068 --> 00:46:20,445
Each and every one of you guys
has pushed me
997
00:46:20,445 --> 00:46:23,865
to boundaries that I did not wanna touch.
998
00:46:24,908 --> 00:46:28,703
You awakened a new part of me,
and I thank you so much for that.
999
00:46:29,913 --> 00:46:32,415
I cannot believe
that you got me to eat cucumber!
1000
00:46:34,084 --> 00:46:38,880
My relationship with my brother,
I know, is going to be a safe haven for me
1001
00:46:38,880 --> 00:46:40,257
for the rest of my life.
1002
00:46:40,966 --> 00:46:43,176
And so thank you for the tough love.
1003
00:46:43,176 --> 00:46:44,636
- [Karamo] I love you.
- [laughing]
1004
00:46:44,636 --> 00:46:46,054
I love you, guys.
1005
00:46:46,555 --> 00:46:47,389
Aw.
1006
00:46:47,389 --> 00:46:49,933
[Jonathan] Love you.
We had so much fun. Bye!
1007
00:46:49,933 --> 00:46:51,393
[Karamo] Bye. We love you!
1008
00:46:51,393 --> 00:46:53,144
- [Steph] Thank you!
- [Karamo] Bye!
1009
00:46:54,396 --> 00:46:56,398
[upbeat music plays]
1010
00:47:05,699 --> 00:47:08,159
[Karamo] ♪ It smells so good ♪
1011
00:47:08,159 --> 00:47:10,579
- I like that song.
- ♪ It smells so good ♪ Hey.
1012
00:47:10,579 --> 00:47:12,247
It smells so good ♪
1013
00:47:12,247 --> 00:47:14,708
- Oh no. Yes.
- [laughs]
1014
00:47:14,708 --> 00:47:16,960
[Jonathan] Let's go watch. Oh.
1015
00:47:16,960 --> 00:47:18,420
- Okay.
- Shall we do this?
1016
00:47:18,420 --> 00:47:19,796
Yes.
1017
00:47:22,173 --> 00:47:23,884
[Tan] She looks so good.
1018
00:47:23,884 --> 00:47:26,344
[Jonathan] I was scared
doing such a big change.
1019
00:47:26,344 --> 00:47:28,054
- She was so hesitant.
- Yeah.
1020
00:47:28,054 --> 00:47:30,056
And I can see in her eyes
1021
00:47:30,056 --> 00:47:32,434
that she likes what she's seeing.
1022
00:47:32,434 --> 00:47:33,351
All right.
1023
00:47:39,274 --> 00:47:40,108
[screams]
1024
00:47:40,108 --> 00:47:43,320
[laughing]
1025
00:47:43,320 --> 00:47:45,488
- Yes.
- That's the reaction.
1026
00:47:45,488 --> 00:47:46,531
[Tan] Aw.
1027
00:47:47,157 --> 00:47:49,618
[Ray] You look so good!
1028
00:47:49,618 --> 00:47:51,578
That's the same reaction we all had!
1029
00:47:51,578 --> 00:47:53,705
- Yeah.
- That's so lovely.
1030
00:47:53,705 --> 00:47:55,916
[laughing] I love the blond!
1031
00:47:55,916 --> 00:47:57,959
You look beautiful.
1032
00:47:58,460 --> 00:47:59,794
You look beautiful.
1033
00:48:00,378 --> 00:48:01,504
You look so pretty.
1034
00:48:02,797 --> 00:48:04,090
[Ray] This is our house!
1035
00:48:04,841 --> 00:48:07,510
Come see the rest of our house.
1036
00:48:10,138 --> 00:48:13,767
[laughs] Oh my God. It's so beautiful!
1037
00:48:13,767 --> 00:48:16,645
There's so much queer joy
on this screen right now.
1038
00:48:16,645 --> 00:48:17,562
So cute.
1039
00:48:17,562 --> 00:48:20,148
We have pictures of ourselves.
1040
00:48:20,148 --> 00:48:21,900
We have pictures! [laughs]
1041
00:48:21,900 --> 00:48:23,276
[Steph] In the house.
1042
00:48:23,860 --> 00:48:26,029
There are not words. [laughs]
1043
00:48:29,699 --> 00:48:31,451
Oh my God!
1044
00:48:31,993 --> 00:48:34,663
- This is our bedroom.
- This is our bedroom.
1045
00:48:34,663 --> 00:48:37,707
Y'all can have sex with the door open!
1046
00:48:37,707 --> 00:48:39,042
Yes!
1047
00:48:39,042 --> 00:48:40,919
Nobody in the house anymore, honey.
1048
00:48:40,919 --> 00:48:43,171
- On the chair, bed, floor.
- [Jonathan] Yes.
1049
00:48:43,171 --> 00:48:46,007
They'll make like Sia
and swing from those chandeliers.
1050
00:48:46,007 --> 00:48:47,634
[Antoni] She's speechless.
1051
00:48:47,634 --> 00:48:50,720
Y'all, they outdid themselves.
1052
00:48:50,720 --> 00:48:52,931
You think you can deal with this closet?
1053
00:48:52,931 --> 00:48:55,809
Yes! Absolutely. No doubt.
1054
00:48:55,809 --> 00:48:58,269
The way Stephanie looks at Rachael
is beautiful.
1055
00:48:58,269 --> 00:48:59,980
She's obsessed with her.
1056
00:48:59,980 --> 00:49:04,859
- I can't believe this is our house.
- I know. This is our house.
1057
00:49:04,859 --> 00:49:06,778
- [laughs]
- It's crazy.
1058
00:49:06,778 --> 00:49:07,737
I know.
1059
00:49:10,240 --> 00:49:12,325
- I know.
- [Ray] We worked hard for it.
1060
00:49:12,325 --> 00:49:14,661
[Steph] We worked damn hard, yeah.
1061
00:49:14,661 --> 00:49:17,747
- We put up with a lot of stuff.
- We did.
1062
00:49:17,747 --> 00:49:20,417
- You put up with a lot of stuff.
- [laughs]
1063
00:49:20,417 --> 00:49:22,168
- It was worth it.
- [Steph] It was.
1064
00:49:22,168 --> 00:49:25,088
- It's always worth it.
- You gotta deal with this.
1065
00:49:25,088 --> 00:49:26,214
[laughs]
1066
00:49:26,214 --> 00:49:27,549
I love the blond.
1067
00:49:28,550 --> 00:49:30,343
Your brother's gonna die though.
1068
00:49:30,343 --> 00:49:32,512
- I think everybody's gonna die.
- [laughs]
1069
00:49:33,388 --> 00:49:34,472
[all gasp]
1070
00:49:34,472 --> 00:49:36,766
- Oh my God!
- Oh my God!
1071
00:49:36,766 --> 00:49:38,184
[woman] She's blond!
1072
00:49:38,184 --> 00:49:39,686
[Mark] Oh Lord!
1073
00:49:41,354 --> 00:49:42,522
{\an8}You look gorgeous.
1074
00:49:42,522 --> 00:49:43,773
{\an8}Oh my God!
1075
00:49:44,274 --> 00:49:46,526
There's nothing better
than a big, gay gasp.
1076
00:49:46,526 --> 00:49:48,987
- Did you see that?
- That was a big, gay gasp.
1077
00:49:48,987 --> 00:49:50,905
- It's the gaspiest of gasps.
- The gaspiest.
1078
00:49:50,905 --> 00:49:52,949
[laughing]
1079
00:49:52,949 --> 00:49:55,368
{\an8}My God. Come here, baby. I love you.
1080
00:49:55,368 --> 00:49:56,911
{\an8}Oh, you're beautiful.
1081
00:49:56,911 --> 00:49:58,747
Aw. Grandma. You know--
1082
00:49:58,747 --> 00:50:01,708
- I gave her her grandma's hair color!
- [laughing]
1083
00:50:01,708 --> 00:50:02,792
Oh no!
1084
00:50:03,418 --> 00:50:05,920
- Oh my God.
- [Mark, Sr.] I'm moving in.
1085
00:50:05,920 --> 00:50:09,132
Dad, I love you,
but you cannot move in yet.
1086
00:50:09,132 --> 00:50:10,467
[laughing]
1087
00:50:10,467 --> 00:50:12,510
Dad, sit your butt right where you were.
1088
00:50:13,011 --> 00:50:15,013
Oh gosh.
1089
00:50:15,013 --> 00:50:17,015
[gasps] Oh.
1090
00:50:17,015 --> 00:50:19,100
This is so nice.
1091
00:50:19,100 --> 00:50:21,102
Her brother is still gagging.
1092
00:50:21,102 --> 00:50:24,814
[Jonathan] He's a professor
of the gay gasp at Chicago University,
1093
00:50:24,814 --> 00:50:25,940
I heard.
1094
00:50:25,940 --> 00:50:30,528
So this week has literally been,
like, super life changing for me.
1095
00:50:30,528 --> 00:50:34,157
I didn't really know what to expect
going into this process,
1096
00:50:34,157 --> 00:50:38,078
but I told Rachael that I was gonna do it,
like, with all my heart.
1097
00:50:38,078 --> 00:50:40,038
I was going to open up,
1098
00:50:40,038 --> 00:50:42,499
and I was going
to get out of my comfort zones.
1099
00:50:42,499 --> 00:50:46,419
And I've learned so much in this week
1100
00:50:46,419 --> 00:50:51,716
that I know will be a part of me,
like, literally, for the rest of my life.
1101
00:50:51,716 --> 00:50:54,719
And, with starting a new chapter,
1102
00:50:54,719 --> 00:50:58,056
I wanted to make sure
that we started off on the right foot.
1103
00:51:00,683 --> 00:51:01,810
[screaming]
1104
00:51:01,810 --> 00:51:03,061
- Oh wow.
- [all gasp]
1105
00:51:03,061 --> 00:51:04,979
Oh my God!
1106
00:51:05,980 --> 00:51:07,440
[screams]
1107
00:51:07,440 --> 00:51:10,193
- So will you marry me?
- Yes!
1108
00:51:10,193 --> 00:51:12,195
Of course I will!
1109
00:51:12,987 --> 00:51:15,698
Oh my God. I love you so much!
1110
00:51:15,698 --> 00:51:16,658
Dang!
1111
00:51:17,158 --> 00:51:18,993
- I gay gasped!
- I didn't see it coming!
1112
00:51:18,993 --> 00:51:22,038
Gay gasp! Gay gasp!
1113
00:51:22,038 --> 00:51:23,832
[cheering]
1114
00:51:23,832 --> 00:51:26,417
- My God!
- I know you've been waiting for a while.
1115
00:51:26,417 --> 00:51:30,839
No one has ever made me cry
like this on this ******* TV show before!
1116
00:51:31,589 --> 00:51:34,884
I love you more than anything,
anything in this world.
1117
00:51:36,177 --> 00:51:37,262
It's really sweet.
1118
00:51:37,262 --> 00:51:40,765
What a massive move for somebody
who was so uncomfortable in her own skin
1119
00:51:40,765 --> 00:51:45,270
to just proclaim her love for her partner
in front of her whole family and propose.
1120
00:51:45,270 --> 00:51:46,354
Like, that's huge.
1121
00:51:46,354 --> 00:51:48,773
I can't believe we're engaged!
1122
00:51:49,399 --> 00:51:51,401
[cheering]
1123
00:51:51,401 --> 00:51:52,944
[laughing]
1124
00:51:54,654 --> 00:51:55,989
[Antoni] Nothing's more exciting
1125
00:51:55,989 --> 00:51:59,576
than when somebody
exercises their inner courage.
1126
00:51:59,576 --> 00:52:03,121
We don't gain confidence
by just, like, willing confidence.
1127
00:52:03,121 --> 00:52:06,875
We gain confidence by setting goals
and then showing up for ourself,
1128
00:52:06,875 --> 00:52:09,627
because you take that leap of faith
and then you realized
1129
00:52:09,627 --> 00:52:12,422
that you were strong enough
to do it in the first place.
1130
00:52:12,964 --> 00:52:16,801
I truly, truly believe
that this is life changing for Stephanie,
1131
00:52:16,801 --> 00:52:18,928
that there is no going back for her.
1132
00:52:18,928 --> 00:52:23,141
We are finally seeing Stephanie step
into the woman she's always wanted to be.
1133
00:52:23,141 --> 00:52:25,476
Someone who is proud, loving.
1134
00:52:25,476 --> 00:52:26,686
I hope after this week,
1135
00:52:26,686 --> 00:52:30,899
Steph realizes that the only way
she's ever going to be happy
1136
00:52:30,899 --> 00:52:32,942
is to live
her most authentic life she can.
1137
00:52:33,610 --> 00:52:35,695
Oh my God!
1138
00:52:36,362 --> 00:52:37,989
- [Steph] I love you.
- I love you.
1139
00:52:37,989 --> 00:52:40,992
- Aw.
- Brava! That was so good.
1140
00:52:40,992 --> 00:52:42,952
That was really good. [sobs]
1141
00:52:42,952 --> 00:52:46,414
Cheers to Stephanie and Ray
having a long, happy life together.
1142
00:52:46,414 --> 00:52:49,083
- To lesbian marriages!
- [Antoni] To New Orleans!
1143
00:52:49,083 --> 00:52:53,296
- [Bobby] To their engagement!
- [Jonathan hums "Here Comes the Bride"]
1144
00:52:53,296 --> 00:52:55,798
[Jonathan] This is my petition
to be in the wedding. Please!
1145
00:52:55,798 --> 00:52:57,884
[upbeat music plays]
1146
00:53:01,387 --> 00:53:02,597
Bras.
1147
00:53:02,597 --> 00:53:05,099
There are three things that are universal.
1148
00:53:05,099 --> 00:53:08,061
- Hey, my eyes are up here.
- [laughs]
1149
00:53:08,061 --> 00:53:12,774
One. If you can count
one, two, three, four boobs,
1150
00:53:12,774 --> 00:53:13,942
that's two too many.
1151
00:53:13,942 --> 00:53:15,693
Consider going up a cup size.
1152
00:53:15,693 --> 00:53:16,986
Two.
1153
00:53:16,986 --> 00:53:20,073
If you can fit more than two fingers
in that strap,
1154
00:53:20,073 --> 00:53:21,699
hoist these bad boys up.
1155
00:53:21,699 --> 00:53:24,077
Use the adjuster.
1156
00:53:24,077 --> 00:53:27,330
Three. If you can fit
more than two fingers in the back,
1157
00:53:27,330 --> 00:53:28,998
size down.
1158
00:53:28,998 --> 00:53:30,625
Simple. Thank you, Jackie.
1159
00:53:31,125 --> 00:53:32,460
[bubbling]
1160
00:53:32,460 --> 00:53:33,544
Bye, Jackie.
1161
00:53:35,046 --> 00:53:37,590
["Oh When the Saints" plays]