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Provided by explosiveskull
https://twitter.com/kaboomskull
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The blizzard started just before 3 am
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and it's been snowing since.
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It's too much snow.
The city can't handle it.
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We're ok!
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I just did the tree with my aunt.
It's cool, isn't it?
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Nice tree!
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It's snowing here too.
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00:02:00,876 --> 00:02:04,876
My cousins can't remember
where they parked the car.
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00:02:08,585 --> 00:02:11,501
I'm off to my grandparents'
for Christmas.
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They say the blizzard will hit Montreal
later today.
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We'll see.
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Hi, everybody.
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You're lucky!
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I'm so bored before the storm.
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Dad's in France with his new family,
Mom's at work, I'm alone.
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Look!
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I have visitors.
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Time to make some new friends...
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Lynn, don't tell the others,
but I can't get over him.
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I can't forget Jonas.
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I miss him.
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I look at our photos,
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I eat,
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and I get fat.
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Look at my thighs.
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Freely adapted from the correspondence
of Joana Hadjithomas 1982-1988
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It's freezing out.
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- You're early, Teta. Sorry, it's a mess.
- It's ok, it's ok.
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So where's your mother?
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Working, as usual.
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As usual?
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Working today of all days.
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She could have made an effort
for this evening.
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Kibbeh!
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00:03:49,710 --> 00:03:52,251
Wash your hands first.
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Wash them properly.
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00:03:56,418 --> 00:03:57,710
Here, take this.
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00:03:58,710 --> 00:04:02,043
You obviously never ran out of water
in your life!
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00:04:02,626 --> 00:04:03,793
So?
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00:04:04,668 --> 00:04:06,210
Are you still upset?
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00:04:06,460 --> 00:04:07,751
A little.
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Sweetheart, the guy who can upset you
hasn't been born yet!
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Use a bit of this...
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Do this one. I'll stack them.
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Like this?
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Don't overfill it.
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Because of the rice.
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- It swells?
- Yes, it swells.
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Your Grandpa Adel's favourite.
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Rest his soul.
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He always asked for these at Christmas.
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Like this.
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Don't be like your mom.
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She can't judge a man.
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00:04:43,210 --> 00:04:46,626
You can judge a man
by how he eats vine leaves.
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A man who swallows them two by two
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is a selfish glutton,
unaware of our hard work.
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00:04:54,085 --> 00:04:56,085
You understand your Teta?
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00:04:56,835 --> 00:04:58,335
You understand me?
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I understand everything.
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Your mom should've made you
speak better Arabic.
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00:05:03,210 --> 00:05:04,418
Look at you!
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00:05:04,793 --> 00:05:08,043
25 years here
and you still don't speak French.
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Who do you expect me to talk to?
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Who ever spoke to me anyway?
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- It's my daughter...
- After.
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Mom, where are you?
We're waiting for you.
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00:06:02,460 --> 00:06:05,626
- Who's that?
- No one. I'll be home soon.
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00:06:05,960 --> 00:06:07,710
I'll call you. See you soon.
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Hello.
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A parcel for Maia Sanders.
She lives here?
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She's my mother.
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Could it be a present?
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No.
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- It's not for us.
- It is.
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I'm her mother.
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- She doesn't want it.
- What?
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- What do we do?
- I'll take it.
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Sign right here.
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- Thank you.
- Perfect.
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Happy holidays.
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Goodbye.
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What's wrong?
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Tell me!
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Help me.
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What is it?
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Let's move it.
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What is it?
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- From Lebanon?
- It's nothing.
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Help me.
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00:07:01,918 --> 00:07:03,793
Haber? Who's Haber?
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I'll tell you after we move it.
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We can't leave it here.
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00:07:08,543 --> 00:07:09,626
Who's Haber?
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00:07:09,793 --> 00:07:12,960
For God's sake!
Just give me a break.
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00:07:13,126 --> 00:07:14,876
Liza Haber.
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A friend of your mother's.
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Happy now? Push!
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00:07:19,210 --> 00:07:20,251
Why refuse it?
101
00:07:20,960 --> 00:07:22,418
Tell me why.
102
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The past drives your mom crazy.
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She'll be sad
and it'll spoil all our hard work.
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Is it something bad?
105
00:07:31,126 --> 00:07:32,918
It's bad memories.
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Help me.
107
00:07:35,835 --> 00:07:39,460
Let us celebrate Christmas in peace.
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We'll tell her tomorrow.
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I promise you.
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I promise, but help me.
I can't manage on my own.
111
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Tomorrow?
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I swear.
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Let's go.
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Behind the basement door.
115
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I love your hair this time.
116
00:07:59,210 --> 00:08:01,210
That colour's nicer.
117
00:08:01,668 --> 00:08:03,251
Don't grow it long.
118
00:08:03,418 --> 00:08:05,585
It makes your face thinner.
119
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Crap Christmas, Lynn.
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00:08:07,460 --> 00:08:11,835
I miss my dad. You're with your families
and we're here alone.
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And here, the photos
brought out on special occasions,
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Mom's brother and my grandpa,
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both killed in the Lebanese War.
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We eat with the dead and ghosts.
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So, sweetheart?
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Well, that went well.
127
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Right, honey?
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She was such a big help.
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We rolled the vine leaves.
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She set the table, fixed the tree
and even offered me her bed for tonight.
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It's natural.
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You darling.
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I'd love to stay,
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but I prefer to go home.
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If the blizzard lets me...
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What's that?
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Mass on the 40th day following the death
of Liza Haber
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If only you could be with us...
Youssef and Eva
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Mom!
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You knew Liza was dead?
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Answer me!
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Since when?
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00:10:47,168 --> 00:10:48,293
Since when?
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00:10:48,918 --> 00:10:50,835
I heard in late November.
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00:10:51,251 --> 00:10:52,501
I can't believe it!
146
00:10:52,668 --> 00:10:55,085
When were you planning to tell me?
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After the holidays.
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00:10:57,960 --> 00:10:59,501
After the holidays?
149
00:11:00,626 --> 00:11:02,043
How did she die?
150
00:11:02,501 --> 00:11:04,418
She died, that's all.
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00:11:04,626 --> 00:11:06,418
That's all, you say?
152
00:11:07,876 --> 00:11:09,585
Answer and stop smoking.
153
00:11:11,543 --> 00:11:13,210
A car accident...
154
00:11:14,418 --> 00:11:18,001
I didn't tell you
so as not to upset you.
155
00:11:18,960 --> 00:11:21,376
You hid my notebooks too?
156
00:11:21,960 --> 00:11:23,835
How dare you?
157
00:11:24,751 --> 00:11:27,668
You always have to interfere
in my life.
158
00:11:27,918 --> 00:11:31,751
I didn't want to spoil
the Xmas meal I made with love.
159
00:11:32,293 --> 00:11:33,210
For who?
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00:11:33,418 --> 00:11:36,335
A girl we haven't seen
in 25 years.
161
00:11:36,501 --> 00:11:38,251
30 years even!
162
00:11:38,751 --> 00:11:40,876
I just wanted to protect you...
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Stop!
164
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It's not about love,
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or dinner or protecting me.
Enough lies!
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00:11:49,126 --> 00:11:49,960
Enough!
167
00:12:16,501 --> 00:12:19,460
I told you
that box would spoil Christmas.
168
00:12:19,626 --> 00:12:20,710
Bye, darling.
169
00:12:20,876 --> 00:12:21,793
Teta, stay.
170
00:12:21,960 --> 00:12:24,751
No, let me go now.
Good night.
171
00:12:25,501 --> 00:12:26,751
Good night.
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00:13:24,168 --> 00:13:26,168
Sorry, Mom, I didn't want to lie.
173
00:13:26,418 --> 00:13:28,751
Teta told me it would upset you.
174
00:13:29,751 --> 00:13:31,501
What are these notebooks?
175
00:13:34,876 --> 00:13:35,835
Mom?
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00:13:37,043 --> 00:13:39,168
Alex, go to bed, please.
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Just tell me what they are.
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00:13:48,293 --> 00:13:49,460
They're notebooks
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00:13:49,626 --> 00:13:51,960
I wrote in Lebanon during the war
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to a friend who had moved to France,
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Liza Haber.
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00:13:58,335 --> 00:14:00,376
She was my closest friend.
183
00:14:01,876 --> 00:14:03,835
Can I look at them too?
184
00:14:08,460 --> 00:14:10,543
Just go to bed, please.
185
00:14:11,210 --> 00:14:12,585
Just a little...
186
00:14:12,751 --> 00:14:14,543
No, I can't show you.
187
00:14:14,751 --> 00:14:16,210
- Why not?
- Just go!
188
00:14:16,668 --> 00:14:18,001
Why won't you?
189
00:14:18,918 --> 00:14:20,335
Just a few photos.
190
00:14:22,210 --> 00:14:23,460
Just some photos...
191
00:14:23,751 --> 00:14:24,960
Or a notebook.
192
00:14:32,626 --> 00:14:34,543
Why are you so upset?
193
00:14:35,835 --> 00:14:38,585
How come you never mentioned Liza?
194
00:14:41,960 --> 00:14:43,376
Leave me now.
195
00:14:45,376 --> 00:14:47,043
We share nothing...
196
00:14:47,376 --> 00:14:48,335
Stop it!
197
00:16:03,168 --> 00:16:04,168
Mom?
198
00:16:15,501 --> 00:16:17,710
- I miss her!
- Where is she now?
199
00:16:17,876 --> 00:16:23,293
- No news since I got back to Beirut.
- No sign on Facebook.
200
00:16:23,460 --> 00:16:26,376
We were inseparable.
My second family.
201
00:19:02,460 --> 00:19:04,751
I will be your eye
202
00:19:12,335 --> 00:19:16,001
Over the moon, happy,
funny, cool, good!
203
00:19:16,168 --> 00:19:19,751
Dreamy, nostalgic, so-so,
depressed, down, help!
204
00:19:20,001 --> 00:19:21,626
Mood June 1982
205
00:19:22,835 --> 00:19:27,543
Liza, a first notebook to keep
the promise made before you left.
206
00:19:27,710 --> 00:19:30,835
I'll write every day,
I'll photograph everything.
207
00:19:31,001 --> 00:19:32,835
I'll tell you all!
208
00:19:47,835 --> 00:19:50,710
Thighs and zits
209
00:20:01,710 --> 00:20:03,710
She had the same hang-ups as me!
210
00:20:03,876 --> 00:20:05,251
Did she look like you?
211
00:20:05,418 --> 00:20:07,210
Yes! We're the same!
212
00:20:11,543 --> 00:20:15,168
Lucky you! I'd love to read
my mom's teenage diary!
213
00:20:24,043 --> 00:20:26,710
Just for you
"The Jump" by Maia
214
00:20:42,585 --> 00:20:44,085
Listen to tape N°1
215
00:20:44,626 --> 00:20:46,251
Scratch and sniff
216
00:20:58,001 --> 00:20:58,960
First meeting
217
00:21:20,043 --> 00:21:21,710
The Famous Five
218
00:21:27,626 --> 00:21:31,251
I love this song.
I listen to it non-stop!
219
00:21:31,460 --> 00:21:33,501
Liza, I miss you!
220
00:21:34,668 --> 00:21:36,793
I'll tell you what happened.
221
00:21:36,960 --> 00:21:38,835
The bombing lasted all week.
222
00:21:39,001 --> 00:21:42,251
We had to flee the school.
223
00:21:42,460 --> 00:21:43,793
Mom wanted to go to her village,
224
00:21:43,960 --> 00:21:46,126
Dad wanted to stay
to protect the school.
225
00:21:46,710 --> 00:21:48,543
He's the principal now.
226
00:21:49,126 --> 00:21:51,876
They fought over and over again,
227
00:21:52,043 --> 00:21:55,543
"Your work, your ideas cost me a son,
I want to protect our girl."
228
00:21:55,960 --> 00:21:57,918
With the radio on as usual.
229
00:21:58,418 --> 00:22:01,918
I couldn't even flee to my room.
I heard it all!
230
00:22:04,710 --> 00:22:06,710
Liza, we're in the village.
231
00:22:06,876 --> 00:22:10,751
We left Dad and brought Samia
who was alone at her grandma's.
232
00:22:11,210 --> 00:22:13,835
We wander the village streets.
233
00:22:14,043 --> 00:22:16,835
I put on my pink skirt.
234
00:22:17,001 --> 00:22:18,668
Samia took my "Relax" T-shirt.
235
00:22:18,876 --> 00:22:21,210
It's too short, but she doesn't care.
236
00:22:22,251 --> 00:22:24,501
Michelle and Reina weren't at home,
237
00:22:24,668 --> 00:22:26,835
but we found them on the square.
238
00:23:10,876 --> 00:23:12,501
Three women, three destinies
239
00:23:45,126 --> 00:23:47,293
She said she never smoked!
240
00:23:53,168 --> 00:23:54,501
The hypocrite!
241
00:23:58,918 --> 00:24:00,585
I know nothing about her!
242
00:24:05,793 --> 00:24:08,126
Liza, so much has happened!
243
00:24:08,335 --> 00:24:13,501
We were hitching to go for an ice cream
when they passed by.
244
00:24:13,668 --> 00:24:17,126
They were listening to loud music,
songs I love.
245
00:24:17,501 --> 00:24:20,376
I tried to take photos on the sly.
246
00:24:20,543 --> 00:24:22,668
That's why they're out of focus.
247
00:24:23,960 --> 00:24:27,626
Look at the driver.
He's so cute!
248
00:24:27,793 --> 00:24:28,668
His name's Raja.
249
00:24:29,376 --> 00:24:32,626
He's a DJ with radio 211.
250
00:24:33,210 --> 00:24:35,293
His gang is the coolest!
251
00:24:35,460 --> 00:24:38,710
Yesterday, they kept driving
back and forth.
252
00:24:38,876 --> 00:24:41,001
Then they invited us
to go for a picnic tomorrow.
253
00:24:46,543 --> 00:24:49,293
This is the best day of my life!
254
00:24:50,210 --> 00:24:51,626
You know how romantic I am.
255
00:24:51,835 --> 00:24:53,960
Love can strike anytime.
256
00:24:54,335 --> 00:24:57,043
For me, I've decided
it's this boy, Raja.
257
00:24:57,585 --> 00:24:59,168
He has incredible eyes.
258
00:24:59,335 --> 00:25:01,668
When he smiles, my heart stops.
259
00:25:01,835 --> 00:25:05,626
I don't know if he likes me,
but I like him.
260
00:25:10,710 --> 00:25:15,918
It was the Italy-Brazil game,
but the power was off as usual.
261
00:25:16,085 --> 00:25:20,668
So Raja and his friends
hooked the TV up to the car battery
262
00:25:20,835 --> 00:25:22,960
and we all watched the game.
263
00:25:23,668 --> 00:25:27,043
I pretended to take photos,
watching him discreetly.
264
00:25:27,210 --> 00:25:29,376
And then we moved closer...
265
00:27:27,126 --> 00:27:29,460
That night, things went wild.
266
00:27:29,918 --> 00:27:31,835
The city was in flames.
267
00:27:32,126 --> 00:27:34,085
Shelling and fires,
268
00:27:34,418 --> 00:27:35,876
like in a movie.
269
00:27:37,626 --> 00:27:40,501
Mom jumped with each explosion.
270
00:27:41,210 --> 00:27:44,126
I was thinking of Dad under the bombs.
271
00:27:44,376 --> 00:27:46,460
He stayed to protect the school.
272
00:27:46,668 --> 00:27:49,626
He's trying to stop them
putting a canon in the yard.
273
00:27:50,543 --> 00:27:51,793
I was scared for him,
274
00:27:53,043 --> 00:27:54,585
and so sad...
275
00:28:59,793 --> 00:29:03,210
Maia, Merry Christmas.
Let's not argue today.
276
00:29:03,501 --> 00:29:06,793
Don't open the notebooks.
The past stinks.
277
00:29:07,626 --> 00:29:10,543
Remember, we can't tell Alex anything.
278
00:29:11,085 --> 00:29:12,668
She wouldn't understand.
279
00:29:12,835 --> 00:29:15,835
But if you want to talk
to Liza's parents,
280
00:29:16,001 --> 00:29:18,418
I found their number in an old diary.
281
00:29:18,626 --> 00:29:22,085
01 331 820.
282
00:29:22,501 --> 00:29:25,293
It's up to you. Bye, sweetheart.
283
00:29:45,751 --> 00:29:50,501
Hello, you've reached the Haber family.
Please leave a message.
284
00:32:11,210 --> 00:32:12,501
Liza...
285
00:32:13,626 --> 00:32:16,376
It's the anniversary
of my brother's death.
286
00:32:16,793 --> 00:32:18,126
Six years today.
287
00:32:20,626 --> 00:32:21,668
Hear that?
288
00:32:22,585 --> 00:32:25,418
Hear my parents crying in their room?
289
00:32:27,626 --> 00:32:29,668
Will I ever get over his death?
290
00:32:31,876 --> 00:32:33,751
Mom and Dad never will.
291
00:32:34,335 --> 00:32:35,835
I'm afraid I'll forget him.
292
00:32:38,751 --> 00:32:43,751
I was so happy with Raja and the others
this summer, I feel guilty some nights.
293
00:32:45,126 --> 00:32:47,960
I'm alive
and he's no longer here.
294
00:33:28,043 --> 00:33:29,001
Teta...
295
00:33:57,751 --> 00:34:00,918
Former principal,
defender of secular education.
296
00:34:01,085 --> 00:34:03,418
Murdered at home on April 3, 1987.
297
00:34:03,585 --> 00:34:08,501
He had survived an earlier attack
that claimed the life of his son, Chadi.
298
00:34:13,668 --> 00:34:16,793
Attack Adel Abboud
299
00:34:33,376 --> 00:34:36,751
Murder Adel Abboud
300
00:34:41,876 --> 00:34:43,085
Hi, Alex.
301
00:34:43,626 --> 00:34:46,251
Knock first! It's my room!
302
00:34:46,418 --> 00:34:47,126
Stop shouting!
303
00:34:47,293 --> 00:34:51,126
- I've told you time and again.
- Calm down!
304
00:34:57,376 --> 00:34:59,168
I'm sick of Mom's nagging...
305
00:34:59,335 --> 00:35:00,418
Yes, Mom?
306
00:35:00,960 --> 00:35:03,210
Yes, I'll tidy my room.
307
00:35:03,376 --> 00:35:05,501
- Alex, where R U?
- Answer us.
308
00:35:06,626 --> 00:35:08,460
I have to tell you something.
309
00:35:09,043 --> 00:35:12,751
Every Saturday, I argue with my parents.
They won't let me go out.
310
00:35:13,043 --> 00:35:14,251
I lied.
311
00:35:14,418 --> 00:35:16,835
I said I have to study with Samia.
312
00:35:17,293 --> 00:35:19,876
We'll go to the movies to see
"Phantom of the Paradise".
313
00:35:21,418 --> 00:35:24,710
If you haven't seen it,
go as soon as you can.
314
00:35:26,126 --> 00:35:28,501
- Samia's on the phone.
- What for?
315
00:35:28,668 --> 00:35:31,335
I don't know. Talk to her.
316
00:35:32,210 --> 00:35:34,418
Samia wants to talk to me.
317
00:35:34,918 --> 00:35:35,960
Bye-bye!
318
00:35:40,751 --> 00:35:43,668
They say we can't be happy for long.
319
00:35:43,835 --> 00:35:46,168
That it's neither natural nor logical.
320
00:35:46,626 --> 00:35:49,501
Whenever I'm happy,
something happens.
321
00:37:43,793 --> 00:37:45,585
Turn the light off!
322
00:38:20,126 --> 00:38:22,501
I hate her! She won't let me see Raja!
323
00:38:22,668 --> 00:38:24,960
I've had enough of their shitty life!
324
00:38:25,126 --> 00:38:27,376
No one will stop me from seeing him!
325
00:38:27,710 --> 00:38:30,668
She has read them, hasn't she?
326
00:38:31,085 --> 00:38:33,251
I told you she hasn't.
327
00:38:33,418 --> 00:38:35,585
They're still in the basement.
328
00:38:37,210 --> 00:38:41,001
I don't understand.
Why did you and Mom argue?
329
00:38:41,168 --> 00:38:42,793
Stay out of it.
330
00:38:42,960 --> 00:38:46,793
- Why didn't you like Liza?
- It's not poor Liza.
331
00:38:47,210 --> 00:38:49,501
Those were difficult times.
332
00:38:49,751 --> 00:38:51,960
We came to Montreal with nothing.
333
00:38:52,126 --> 00:38:53,085
I know...
334
00:38:53,251 --> 00:38:56,793
I worked day and night:
cooking, cleaning, sewing...
335
00:38:56,960 --> 00:38:58,001
I want to understand.
336
00:38:58,168 --> 00:38:59,876
So your mom could study.
337
00:39:00,168 --> 00:39:02,835
That's over. Our life is here now.
338
00:39:03,168 --> 00:39:05,168
Hold on, she's sleeping.
339
00:39:06,918 --> 00:39:08,501
I'll call you back.
340
00:39:09,376 --> 00:39:11,043
Ok, honey.
341
00:39:11,960 --> 00:39:12,835
Bye.
342
00:39:44,168 --> 00:39:46,043
I'm going crazy here!
343
00:39:46,835 --> 00:39:48,501
They won't let me see Raja.
344
00:39:48,668 --> 00:39:52,751
They say he's not good enough for me,
but don't know him.
345
00:39:53,918 --> 00:39:57,501
They heard he's a hoodlum
close to a militia group.
346
00:39:57,876 --> 00:40:00,585
Dad hates militiamen
and their violence.
347
00:40:01,085 --> 00:40:03,001
He says they killed my brother.
348
00:40:03,460 --> 00:40:06,210
They won't listen.
For them, Raja is dangerous.
349
00:40:07,710 --> 00:40:10,335
Raja and I lie. We lie all the time.
350
00:40:10,501 --> 00:40:13,293
We meet in secret around the city.
351
00:40:14,085 --> 00:40:17,251
He sends me messages
via Radio 211.
352
00:40:17,751 --> 00:40:19,168
Secret appointments.
353
00:40:19,918 --> 00:40:21,376
I can't wait to hear them.
354
00:40:22,376 --> 00:40:23,293
Raja on Radio 211.
355
00:40:23,460 --> 00:40:24,585
Listen!
356
00:40:26,335 --> 00:40:29,626
This song is from M for B:
"Remember our love."
357
00:40:29,793 --> 00:40:32,001
From Kamal to Zeina:
"Wait for me!"
358
00:40:32,168 --> 00:40:35,126
From Souheil
to those fighting for freedom.
359
00:40:35,293 --> 00:40:36,210
From R to M...
360
00:40:36,376 --> 00:40:37,168
Listen!
361
00:40:37,335 --> 00:40:41,376
"Nothing can defeat our love.
Usual place, tomorrow at 4."
362
00:41:19,918 --> 00:41:21,376
With Raja,
363
00:41:22,043 --> 00:41:23,293
I feel alive again.
364
00:41:23,710 --> 00:41:24,793
He makes me happy.
365
00:41:24,960 --> 00:41:27,418
He gets me away from the sadness
at home.
366
00:41:52,626 --> 00:41:53,793
Mom's killing me.
367
00:41:54,335 --> 00:41:55,835
She keeps harassing me.
368
00:41:56,251 --> 00:42:01,960
She's afraid of everything:
car bombs, snipers, shelling...
369
00:42:03,085 --> 00:42:05,835
She's always at the window, worrying,
370
00:42:06,418 --> 00:42:09,876
listening to her crap radio!
Her fear rules us.
371
00:42:10,543 --> 00:42:12,085
I'm suffocating.
372
00:42:13,626 --> 00:42:14,876
I want to live.
373
00:44:00,335 --> 00:44:02,376
We want to dance!
374
00:44:49,835 --> 00:44:53,835
Have you lost your mind?
How can you do this to me?
375
00:44:54,543 --> 00:44:56,418
Are you that irresponsible?
376
00:44:56,668 --> 00:44:58,210
Get out of my sight!
377
00:45:03,293 --> 00:45:04,710
You too!
378
00:45:14,793 --> 00:45:17,793
Liza, it'll be autumn soon.
379
00:45:18,293 --> 00:45:19,793
Things are sad here.
380
00:45:20,293 --> 00:45:23,126
The final year of high school is tough.
381
00:45:24,001 --> 00:45:25,501
Everything is collapsing:
382
00:45:25,835 --> 00:45:27,626
life, security,
383
00:45:28,043 --> 00:45:29,043
morale.
384
00:45:29,668 --> 00:45:31,376
Even the Lebanese lira.
385
00:45:32,418 --> 00:45:34,543
The city is increasingly divided.
386
00:45:36,668 --> 00:45:40,376
Raja and I still meet in secret,
in isolated places.
387
00:45:41,460 --> 00:45:43,710
He shows me other parts of the city.
388
00:45:45,543 --> 00:45:48,126
Beirut is so destroyed...
389
00:45:48,960 --> 00:45:51,960
Liza, you wouldn't recognize it.
390
00:46:19,376 --> 00:46:23,210
I don't really know what attracts me.
391
00:46:23,543 --> 00:46:25,001
I can't stop.
392
00:46:25,543 --> 00:46:26,876
I feel I want to see it all,
393
00:46:27,043 --> 00:46:28,418
photograph it all.
394
00:46:29,168 --> 00:46:32,085
I'm scared the city
will vanish before my eyes.
395
00:47:25,418 --> 00:47:28,501
Whatever happens,
I'll be a photographer.
396
00:47:28,668 --> 00:47:30,585
It's my passion!
397
00:48:01,918 --> 00:48:03,710
3rd day of captivity.
398
00:48:04,126 --> 00:48:06,251
We can't move or go out.
399
00:48:07,501 --> 00:48:09,251
The bombing is violent.
400
00:48:10,001 --> 00:48:13,335
We all ran down to the shelter,
barefoot, in pyjamas.
401
00:48:14,043 --> 00:48:15,543
Samia was sleeping here.
402
00:48:18,293 --> 00:48:21,710
The neighbour in his shorts
is not a pretty sight!
403
00:48:26,293 --> 00:48:29,126
The bombing has lasted 18 hours now!
404
00:48:35,293 --> 00:48:37,043
4th day of captivity.
405
00:48:37,793 --> 00:48:39,418
The atmosphere is unbearable.
406
00:48:39,710 --> 00:48:42,960
We sleep on mattresses on the floor,
when we sleep
407
00:48:43,585 --> 00:48:46,543
with all the radios on.
I counted five!
408
00:48:47,168 --> 00:48:50,168
My mom's is the loudest, of course.
409
00:48:50,501 --> 00:48:54,418
The endless talk and whispering,
the explosions...
410
00:48:56,460 --> 00:48:58,376
Outside, chaos, disorder...
411
00:49:00,501 --> 00:49:03,043
First, they say the army is in control,
412
00:49:03,210 --> 00:49:05,835
then that the same army
has surrendered...
413
00:49:07,918 --> 00:49:10,960
5th day of captivity...
No, imprisonment!
414
00:49:11,793 --> 00:49:14,418
List of what we want to do
before we die.
415
00:49:14,585 --> 00:49:15,751
Go on, Samia.
416
00:49:16,501 --> 00:49:20,085
I don't want to die a virgin.
417
00:49:20,251 --> 00:49:21,251
Me neither!
418
00:49:21,418 --> 00:49:23,668
We want to travel, we never did.
419
00:49:23,835 --> 00:49:27,460
We can't die
without seeing Rome, Paris or Egypt.
420
00:49:27,751 --> 00:49:30,460
I want to take photos every day,
421
00:49:30,751 --> 00:49:34,918
become a great photographer
and kiss Raja in the street...
422
00:49:35,460 --> 00:49:37,210
- And you, Samia?
- I want food!
423
00:49:37,376 --> 00:49:38,835
I want to eat!
424
00:49:39,001 --> 00:49:41,793
All Samia thinks about is eating.
425
00:49:42,668 --> 00:49:46,001
Jell-O, an apple, strawberries,
fish, a cake...
426
00:49:46,876 --> 00:49:48,418
Ice cream, ice cream...
427
00:49:49,168 --> 00:49:52,835
Shell launches and strikes
428
00:49:53,543 --> 00:49:55,043
Samia, launch!
429
00:49:55,835 --> 00:49:57,126
Strike!
430
00:50:00,460 --> 00:50:02,418
155 mm: strike!
431
00:50:02,710 --> 00:50:04,251
WE ARE HERE
432
00:50:06,418 --> 00:50:08,126
Same horrible day, three hours later.
433
00:50:08,710 --> 00:50:11,085
I record just to stay sane.
434
00:50:11,418 --> 00:50:12,960
I only want the noise to end.
435
00:50:14,001 --> 00:50:15,085
Hear that?
436
00:50:15,918 --> 00:50:16,918
Listen.
437
00:50:17,585 --> 00:50:20,501
Everyone smokes,
but I can't in front of my parents.
438
00:50:20,668 --> 00:50:22,043
I collect cigarette ends.
439
00:50:28,168 --> 00:50:29,251
I'm scared.
440
00:50:30,418 --> 00:50:31,668
Such a violent fear...
441
00:50:31,835 --> 00:50:35,210
I can't stop crying,
tears stream down my face.
442
00:50:35,626 --> 00:50:37,126
I'm scared of dying.
443
00:50:37,460 --> 00:50:39,501
We're all gonna die.
444
00:50:42,585 --> 00:50:44,835
6th day: we went out...
445
00:50:46,668 --> 00:50:49,710
Lynn, are you there? I can't sleep.
446
00:50:50,210 --> 00:50:53,126
Answer, please. Answer me!
447
00:52:35,418 --> 00:52:38,668
Why did you message me at 4 am?
448
00:52:39,001 --> 00:52:41,293
Can't you sleep or what?
449
00:52:42,085 --> 00:52:44,751
Why don't you answer
our group's messages?
450
00:52:44,918 --> 00:52:46,793
Still reading your mom's notebooks?
451
00:52:46,960 --> 00:52:48,835
Stop, it's driving you crazy!
452
00:52:49,001 --> 00:52:51,710
Meet me at the café.
I'll take care of you.
453
00:52:54,626 --> 00:52:56,418
I have to go out a bit.
454
00:52:58,543 --> 00:53:00,876
- Listening to that?
- I like it.
455
00:53:01,293 --> 00:53:02,626
See you later.
456
00:53:03,335 --> 00:53:04,543
Ok, see you.
457
00:53:11,626 --> 00:53:13,710
Yes, I'm less active in the group.
458
00:53:13,876 --> 00:53:16,668
I want to read and listen to it all,
459
00:53:16,835 --> 00:53:19,335
to know the rest.
I don't recognize my mom.
460
00:53:19,501 --> 00:53:20,835
She's changed so much.
461
00:53:21,168 --> 00:53:25,460
She was so passionate about photography,
Raja, Liza...
462
00:53:25,876 --> 00:53:27,501
She never mentions them.
463
00:53:28,751 --> 00:53:30,668
What can she be hiding?
464
00:53:31,501 --> 00:53:32,918
She lies all the time.
465
00:53:36,543 --> 00:53:38,626
My mom's really strange.
466
00:53:45,168 --> 00:53:47,293
When were the photos taken?
467
00:53:47,668 --> 00:53:49,168
Thirty years ago.
468
00:53:49,543 --> 00:53:52,293
They might be fogged.
Give me an hour.
469
00:53:57,626 --> 00:53:59,210
See you later.
470
00:54:05,293 --> 00:54:09,585
Liza, Raja and I don't see things
the same way anymore.
471
00:54:10,460 --> 00:54:13,418
He thinks he must get involved
and resist.
472
00:54:13,585 --> 00:54:18,001
I say there are other ways,
but he wants to fight.
473
00:54:18,168 --> 00:54:19,835
He says I do nothing,
474
00:54:20,001 --> 00:54:23,626
that I'm a coward and a pacifist,
like my father.
475
00:54:23,793 --> 00:54:25,085
I refused to listen.
476
00:54:25,251 --> 00:54:27,960
My father resists by educating people!
477
00:54:28,210 --> 00:54:32,043
Raja says we need to survive now,
not educate.
478
00:54:32,585 --> 00:54:36,376
I yelled that my brother died
cos people thought that way.
479
00:54:36,543 --> 00:54:37,751
I lost my mind.
480
00:54:37,918 --> 00:54:39,418
He left, furious.
481
00:54:40,710 --> 00:54:45,251
I tried calling him all night,
but the phones never work here.
482
00:54:50,751 --> 00:54:53,668
I finally managed to talk to him.
483
00:54:54,460 --> 00:54:56,085
We both cried.
484
00:54:56,793 --> 00:54:58,085
We're so lost...
485
00:55:37,043 --> 00:55:40,085
Yesterday, I saw Raja at a checkpoint.
486
00:55:40,293 --> 00:55:44,210
Liza, he lied. He told me
he no longer hung out with them.
487
00:55:45,168 --> 00:55:47,251
Seeing him there was a shock.
488
00:55:47,876 --> 00:55:49,835
I felt shame in front of my parents.
489
00:55:50,001 --> 00:55:52,543
The roadblock is humiliating enough.
490
00:55:52,876 --> 00:55:54,626
I didn't know what to do.
491
00:56:09,335 --> 00:56:10,626
Your papers!
492
00:56:44,293 --> 00:56:45,126
Drive!
493
00:58:20,668 --> 00:58:22,418
Everything is screwed up.
494
00:58:22,876 --> 00:58:25,668
We don't know who or why we fight.
495
00:58:27,293 --> 00:58:30,043
All beliefs and ideology are gone.
496
00:58:31,293 --> 00:58:34,418
Our corrupt, pathetic leaders
only care about power.
497
00:58:35,543 --> 00:58:40,751
It's hard to define
the border between good and evil.
498
00:58:40,918 --> 00:58:42,001
Thank you. It's so cute.
499
00:58:42,585 --> 00:58:46,418
It's simple,
but I thought you'd like it.
500
00:58:46,585 --> 00:58:48,626
- Thank you.
- You're welcome.
501
00:58:51,751 --> 00:58:55,335
We're all lost, longing for ideals,
502
00:58:55,960 --> 00:59:00,293
"illusions" my father says,
after believing in them all his life.
503
00:59:02,335 --> 00:59:05,501
Some of our friends die, or go missing,
504
00:59:06,001 --> 00:59:07,668
and others leave.
505
00:59:09,210 --> 00:59:10,751
I'm scared for Raja.
506
00:59:11,876 --> 00:59:14,168
He swore to me
he'd handed in his weapons.
507
00:59:15,085 --> 00:59:18,543
But, each time we part,
I wonder if I'll see him again
508
00:59:20,835 --> 00:59:23,043
or if he's going to fight in secret
509
00:59:25,043 --> 00:59:27,460
and someone will come
to tell me he's dead.
510
00:59:31,126 --> 00:59:33,543
And you, Liza, where are you?
511
00:59:35,126 --> 00:59:36,626
When will you be back?
512
00:59:37,501 --> 00:59:38,876
You feel so far away.
513
00:59:40,293 --> 00:59:41,918
I miss you.
514
01:00:21,126 --> 01:00:22,418
No, I didn't knock.
515
01:00:23,126 --> 01:00:26,876
Because you don't give a damn
about my private life!
516
01:00:28,376 --> 01:00:30,668
I told you not to touch my notebooks.
517
01:00:31,418 --> 01:00:33,085
That's why I put them away.
518
01:00:33,418 --> 01:00:34,751
It's my fault?
519
01:00:35,085 --> 01:00:36,210
Alex, stop it!
520
01:00:36,376 --> 01:00:39,918
I asked about your past,
but you never told me a thing.
521
01:00:40,793 --> 01:00:43,001
You're absent, busy or tired!
522
01:00:44,835 --> 01:00:46,751
All you ever do is lie.
523
01:00:47,210 --> 01:00:49,126
All your life is a lie!
524
01:00:49,335 --> 01:00:50,751
But it's not my fault!
525
01:00:51,126 --> 01:00:54,835
The war wasn't my fault,
nor losing Raja and Liza,
526
01:00:55,001 --> 01:00:56,376
or your brother!
527
01:00:56,543 --> 01:01:01,001
It's not my fault your life sucks now
and you have no passion left!
528
01:01:09,793 --> 01:01:10,668
Sorry...
529
01:01:12,335 --> 01:01:13,460
Sweetheart!
530
01:01:18,168 --> 01:01:20,918
Tell me what happened.
I need to know.
531
01:01:21,626 --> 01:01:22,751
Ok...
532
01:02:01,085 --> 01:02:02,460
It's strange.
533
01:02:03,585 --> 01:02:07,293
I recall our home
as if I left it yesterday.
534
01:02:07,876 --> 01:02:10,543
I remember every little detail.
535
01:02:11,751 --> 01:02:13,543
It was a sad place.
536
01:02:14,418 --> 01:02:15,210
We tried,
537
01:02:15,376 --> 01:02:18,668
but we couldn't get over
my brother's death.
538
01:02:34,168 --> 01:02:36,085
My room was my refuge.
539
01:02:36,835 --> 01:02:40,543
That's where I wrote
and recorded tapes for Liza.
540
01:02:42,126 --> 01:02:43,876
I told her everything.
541
01:02:54,085 --> 01:02:57,293
What I told her,
I was also telling myself.
542
01:02:58,085 --> 01:03:00,960
When I reread it,
I didn't recognize myself.
543
01:03:01,668 --> 01:03:02,876
I felt scared.
544
01:03:03,626 --> 01:03:05,085
I stopped.
545
01:04:46,376 --> 01:04:48,918
Raja was my first great love.
546
01:04:49,751 --> 01:04:51,960
He had become my whole life.
547
01:04:53,793 --> 01:04:59,085
Back then, girls were harassed
about their virginity and reputation.
548
01:05:00,168 --> 01:05:02,043
I didn't give a damn.
549
01:05:02,876 --> 01:05:05,418
I saw no harm in loving him so much.
550
01:05:06,335 --> 01:05:09,876
I think our love
saved us from the madness around us.
551
01:05:14,376 --> 01:05:16,335
Then, one evening,
552
01:05:16,585 --> 01:05:19,126
Raja disappeared. He left me.
553
01:05:19,793 --> 01:05:23,335
No, he didn't leave me.
He was forced to leave me.
554
01:05:24,043 --> 01:05:27,001
His parents put him
in the boot of a car
555
01:05:27,168 --> 01:05:30,126
and sent him to study
in the USSR.
556
01:05:38,335 --> 01:05:41,085
On vanishing,
he took everything with him.
557
01:05:44,168 --> 01:05:46,376
I never heard from him again.
558
01:05:49,085 --> 01:05:50,293
Ever.
559
01:06:31,543 --> 01:06:34,710
My father died
before the dogs of war killed him.
560
01:06:35,751 --> 01:06:38,460
When the school closed,
he was out of work.
561
01:06:39,168 --> 01:06:42,543
He believed in education
as a way to change things.
562
01:06:43,501 --> 01:06:46,835
But he saw only violence and death
around him.
563
01:07:40,210 --> 01:07:41,210
Here.
564
01:08:18,460 --> 01:08:19,418
Come...
565
01:08:41,168 --> 01:08:44,500
I saw my father sinking
but didn't know what to do.
566
01:08:46,250 --> 01:08:48,793
He fled the apartment and his despair.
567
01:08:49,625 --> 01:08:53,750
He was haunted by my brother's murder,
killed instead of him.
568
01:08:54,085 --> 01:08:56,418
So, little by little, he gave up.
569
01:08:56,918 --> 01:08:59,125
He abandoned his ideals
570
01:08:59,293 --> 01:09:00,625
and us too.
571
01:09:04,043 --> 01:09:05,043
Teta...
572
01:09:05,793 --> 01:09:07,168
Poor Teta...
573
01:09:08,085 --> 01:09:09,500
She tried to act...
574
01:09:10,293 --> 01:09:12,875
as if we still had
a normal life.
575
01:09:16,543 --> 01:09:18,793
And I only thought of Raja.
576
01:09:20,875 --> 01:09:25,543
Those nights, Mom looked for her husband
and me for a sign of Raja.
577
01:09:26,835 --> 01:09:29,043
The country was looking for itself.
578
01:09:29,460 --> 01:09:32,500
We were all looking
for something we'd lost.
579
01:09:39,293 --> 01:09:41,168
I was so angry...
580
01:09:47,835 --> 01:09:50,125
Then Liza came back for the summer.
581
01:09:50,293 --> 01:09:52,125
She did now and then.
582
01:11:50,501 --> 01:11:52,335
Seen the time, Maia?
583
01:11:52,501 --> 01:11:53,751
You're late.
584
01:11:54,543 --> 01:11:57,918
- It's ok, Mom.
- Go to bed.
585
01:11:58,460 --> 01:12:00,126
Good night.
586
01:13:27,501 --> 01:13:31,001
Seeing them, I felt pity for my father,
for his state,
587
01:13:31,918 --> 01:13:34,168
for myself and my helplessness.
588
01:13:37,251 --> 01:13:41,543
I shared everything with her,
but I didn't want to tell her that.
589
01:13:43,585 --> 01:13:45,043
I felt betrayed,
590
01:13:45,751 --> 01:13:47,751
as if she were using our friendship
591
01:13:48,043 --> 01:13:51,418
and closeness
to interfere in the dark side of my life.
592
01:13:56,168 --> 01:13:58,543
So when she left, we stopped writing.
593
01:13:59,710 --> 01:14:01,376
I stopped writing to her.
594
01:14:02,835 --> 01:14:04,710
From that point on,
595
01:14:06,168 --> 01:14:08,668
I don't know. I can't remember.
596
01:14:10,085 --> 01:14:13,751
I don't really remember things.
Sometimes, I feel...
597
01:14:18,126 --> 01:14:22,626
that I reinvent things.
I don't know what's real or false.
598
01:14:23,543 --> 01:14:25,835
Where things begin...
599
01:14:26,960 --> 01:14:29,501
How I end them...
600
01:14:32,876 --> 01:14:35,460
Sometimes, it's like I dreamed it.
601
01:14:40,335 --> 01:14:42,460
Then they killed my father.
602
01:14:45,460 --> 01:14:47,710
But you know that story, Alex.
603
01:14:48,626 --> 01:14:50,335
Yes, I know it.
604
01:14:56,210 --> 01:14:58,835
My father's death devastated people.
605
01:14:59,751 --> 01:15:02,210
He was given a hero's burial.
606
01:15:03,085 --> 01:15:07,501
For many, it was also the death
of what he had always defended.
607
01:15:24,960 --> 01:15:26,376
God rest his soul.
608
01:16:32,335 --> 01:16:35,001
Just after,
Teta decided to leave Beirut
609
01:16:35,168 --> 01:16:37,335
for Cyprus and then Canada.
610
01:16:38,293 --> 01:16:40,585
We knew we were leaving for good.
611
01:17:12,210 --> 01:17:14,626
I remember the crossing so well.
612
01:17:15,001 --> 01:17:17,251
The airport was closed then.
613
01:17:17,960 --> 01:17:21,126
We were in the dark
to avoid being spotted and bombed.
614
01:17:21,293 --> 01:17:23,460
Once we were out of range,
615
01:17:24,001 --> 01:17:25,918
life began again.
616
01:17:39,793 --> 01:17:43,043
And my world vanished forever.
617
01:19:50,751 --> 01:19:52,876
Don't look! Look at me!
618
01:19:54,043 --> 01:19:56,043
Your father didn't kill himself.
619
01:19:57,126 --> 01:19:59,126
We must remember him as a hero.
620
01:19:59,293 --> 01:20:01,668
Step outside, sweetheart.
621
01:20:02,335 --> 01:20:04,126
Wait for me outside.
622
01:22:58,585 --> 01:23:00,835
Crazy, everything's rebuilt.
623
01:23:36,418 --> 01:23:39,043
- Can you go via Sanayeh?
- Of course.
624
01:24:02,001 --> 01:24:04,001
This is where we lived.
625
01:24:04,418 --> 01:24:06,501
It was razed to the ground.
626
01:24:06,668 --> 01:24:09,168
This fancy building stands in its place.
627
01:25:42,043 --> 01:25:43,418
Teta, how are you?
628
01:25:43,793 --> 01:25:44,918
Hi, Alex.
629
01:25:45,085 --> 01:25:45,960
Hi, Mom.
630
01:25:46,126 --> 01:25:49,335
Liza's in the same cemetery
as Grandpa and Uncle Chadi.
631
01:25:49,501 --> 01:25:52,210
- But we can't find the graves.
- You can't?
632
01:25:52,418 --> 01:25:53,960
Listen, Maia...
633
01:25:54,501 --> 01:25:55,751
Yes, Mom.
634
01:25:56,251 --> 01:25:59,460
Stand with your back to the church.
635
01:26:00,585 --> 01:26:04,876
Then go five metres to your right.
636
01:26:05,626 --> 01:26:07,293
This way?
637
01:26:08,001 --> 01:26:09,251
Try that way.
638
01:26:09,543 --> 01:26:10,793
Second or third...
639
01:26:10,960 --> 01:26:12,876
Now to the left a bit...
640
01:26:13,668 --> 01:26:14,626
To the left?
641
01:26:14,876 --> 01:26:16,418
Try that way.
642
01:26:23,876 --> 01:26:25,585
Everything has changed.
643
01:26:26,835 --> 01:26:28,918
I don't know where they are.
644
01:26:30,335 --> 01:26:31,376
Let me see.
645
01:26:32,126 --> 01:26:34,210
- You can't find them?
- No, Teta.
646
01:26:34,418 --> 01:26:35,793
I don't understand...
647
01:26:35,960 --> 01:26:38,460
We've looked everywhere.
We can't find them.
648
01:26:38,626 --> 01:26:41,251
Mom, we have to go. It's starting.
649
01:26:41,793 --> 01:26:44,376
- We'll come back tomorrow.
- Ok.
650
01:26:45,085 --> 01:26:47,668
Alex, listen, sweetheart,
651
01:26:47,835 --> 01:26:49,626
take photos of Beirut for me
652
01:26:49,793 --> 01:26:51,168
and of the sun too.
653
01:26:51,335 --> 01:26:53,168
Don't forget the sun!
654
01:27:20,585 --> 01:27:21,835
Jose's here.
655
01:27:23,293 --> 01:27:24,710
He hasn't changed.
656
01:27:24,918 --> 01:27:27,710
- Michelle is still with Halim?
- It seems so...
657
01:27:33,251 --> 01:27:34,960
Is that Samia, Mom?
658
01:27:35,960 --> 01:27:37,668
- Is it?
- Yes!
659
01:28:06,418 --> 01:28:07,751
Is that Raja?
660
01:28:08,501 --> 01:28:09,626
- Yes.
- It's him?
661
01:28:10,251 --> 01:28:11,751
Don't turn round.
662
01:28:13,626 --> 01:28:15,918
- Stop it.
- It's ok, don't worry.
663
01:29:16,418 --> 01:29:19,418
- I've missed you so much!
- Me too.
664
01:29:22,668 --> 01:29:24,210
I've missed you!
665
01:29:28,210 --> 01:29:29,501
How are you?
666
01:29:33,251 --> 01:29:37,376
Michelle, Halim,
you're married now?
667
01:30:02,960 --> 01:30:04,126
Your daughter?
668
01:30:04,293 --> 01:30:05,210
Yes.
669
01:30:40,960 --> 01:30:42,876
Where is she?
670
01:30:48,626 --> 01:30:49,918
To Liza!
671
01:31:06,835 --> 01:31:10,793
Look how happy she is
672
01:34:54,043 --> 01:34:55,876
Look, Teta...
673
01:36:05,531 --> 01:36:10,531
Provided by explosiveskull
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