Previously, on "You"...
There are no recent pictures of your dad
because he's dead.
He OD'd, and you were the one that found him.
You started a few poems about that day,
but you never finished them.
I have one just like this.
It was my dad's.
This is the red ladle story?
It's okay, Beck. I'm going to help you
get the life you deserve.
You fall for the wrong men.
You have questionable taste in friends.
And that Peach is the worst.
I just need to know who you really are,
besides a broke poetry student
in a subsidized apartment you could never afford.
What you really need is someone to save you.
Let me help you, Beck.
Beck, is it? Blythe.
I read one of your essays in the "Review" last month
and it was so illuminating.
That's funny. There's a book missing.
Joe was looking at it at my party.
Tonight, I show you I'm the one.
You want it down and dirty? You got it.
[moaning]
Did you just...
[moaning]
[sighs]
Did you just...
[sighs]
Ah.
What was that?
Eight seconds?
Oh, yeah. He's got that "Trump just took Pennsylvania" look.
Say something. Say...
"Happens all the time, NBD."
No, you'll sound like a slut.
You could say, "Let's order food."
Move past it.
Is Grey Dog open late?
[phone buzzes]
Oh, thank God!
Um, I should... Yeah, yeah.
Shit.
Ugh, you idiot.
Why did you tell him you were available this weekend?
Why don't you think?
Well, go. The Captain calls, you answer.
You know how this works.
He paid for the bed you just got laid on.
Or whatever that was.
And your phone bill.
Good girl.
That wasn't so hard, was it?
[sighs] [phone buzzes]
[sighs] Seriously?
Seriously? [phone buzzes]
[phone chimes] Hey, Beck,
I'm gonna run to the store.
Shit, Joe.
Probably thinks you're hiding in here.
Uh, hold on a second. I'll be right out.
[phone buzzes]
Oh, God. Please stop.
They're just words, Beck.
Tell him what he wants to hear.
[door opens, closes]
[inhales deeply]
Oh, no.
Joe?
Ugh, Beck.
You're a disaster.
[sighs]
Last night. Eight second sex. Joe.
[light music]
♪ ♪
If you're gonna act like a whore,
may as well look like one.
♪ ♪
[phone dings]
You just have a magic poon.
# yonitoogood
Thanks, that's helpful.
[ding] Is he big?
Oh, my God.
Why are you even asking them?
Can you for once just have your own opinion, Beck?
Got pix?
With the bun?
You're not helping.
[ding]
Is he worth it?
[sighs] There we go.
Good question.
Is he?
Annika wouldn't know a good dick
if you hit her over the head with it.
It's not like it doesn't happen to tons of guys.
I mean, Benji used to nod off while going down on me.
I thought we weren't talking about Benji anymore.
We're not. He's dead to me.
I'm just merely using him as a reference.
Benji didn't work retail.
Joe works in a book store.
A hop, skip and a bad haircut away
from selling men's leather bracelets at a Club Monaco.
Becks, love yourself.
Ghost him already.
Sorry to interrupt, ladies,
but we are all clear.
Are you saying I don't have bed bugs?
- I didn't find a one. - [laughs]
Would you like to see the 22 bites on my ass?
- Uh... - Don't answer that.
They're there. Go find them.
Go find them!
Ugh. Wonder how he is with finding rare books?
Joe did not take your "Wizard of Oz."
"Ozma of Oz."
And who said anything about Joe?
That's it. I'm booking a room at the Mandarin Oriental,
and you're coming with.
I would so love to, but I can't.
I, um...
I am going to a writer's retreat in Rockland.
- Since when? - She knows when you're lying.
Since I wrote this piece in workshop
that everyone called "treacly."
Ugh. Tell me you're not writing
another dead puppy thing as a metaphor
for your dad dying. I...
What? That's completely
what it's really about.
Look, I'm just saying,
stop killing puppies.
Write fresh. You know, there's so much more inside of you.
Who are you now, Beckalish?
Hm? I thought it was
a good piece.
Aw.
Sorry, boo boo.
Okay, go.
[sighs]
Find that brilliant bad ass inside of you
and believe in her.
I know I do.
Literally the most supportive she's ever been
about your writing, and you're lying to her face.
You are the worst friend.
Aw, there they are.
[sighs]
Wait a minute, why do you need these
if you're going on a writer's retreat?
What? So it's look hot or be a writer?
♪ ♪
You could just leave.
You could, you know, cut the cord,
take off the yolk.
Bon voyage, Captain.
You're a coward.
Britney got through 2007, though, right?
♪ ♪
Maybe this is what you need to find your inner bad ass.
Maybe Emily Dickinson had it right.
"The solitary prowess of a silent life."
♪ ♪
What is it with motel rooms
and you wanting to dive into your panties?
He is always late. And you're frustrated.
Plus, after last night, you're owed one.
Oh, Joe.
You seriously need to call him.
♪ ♪
[horn honking]
Has he been working out?
[tense music]
♪ ♪
It's two days.
You got this.
Synced & corrected by MaxPayne == https://subscene.com ==
[moaning]
[sighs]
Did you just...
You should be screaming my name right now.
Digging your nails into my back.
You expected me to please you, get you off.
But you didn't scream and my back is not bleeding
and you definitely did not get off.
You don't even know what to say, do you?
You must be mortified.
[phone buzzes]
Ignore it. Ignore it, Beck.
The hell have I done?
[phone buzzing]
[sighs] Seriously?
You're already telling whoever that is.
I've reduced myself to an anecdote.
Mr. Quick Draw. The Minuteman.
Being generous.
Don't let it be Peach.
The Captain? [phone chimes]
The hell is this?
What?
Obviously, you don't love him.
Love ya!
[door slams]
[tense tone]
♪ ♪
Love ya.
Love ya?
You never said that to Benji.
And look what had to happen to him.
Beck, just when I think we're getting somewhere...
Yeah, so here, you're sacrificing a hardcover
but you're getting greater textual accuracy
than any previous edition.
It's the final word
on the Tolkein trilogy.
Thank you so much.
My dick reduced to cartoon food items.
This is my nightmare.
A hot dog. I'll take it.
Yes, with the bun.
Tell her, Beck.
Go on. Listen to your gut.
Joe's the one.
Yes, worth it. K. One more shot.
Not like there was any real doubt.
[ding]
Outfit? Are you kidding me?
Just got it. Hope you like.
♪ ♪
You do all this for him?
[ding] Christoph's party
Montauk tonight. U in?
Can't. Gotta write.
You even lie to your friends about this guy.
What the hell? [ding]
And you've been confirmed at the Seahorse Motel.
[dark music]
Ethan.
I need you to close tonight.
Oh, man, I'd love to, but I gotta split soon.
Rastiche, my Balalaika teacher is holding
a master class tonight. Wasn't a question.
I'm sorry. I have an appointment out of town.
Beck, I should be your captain.
[tense music]
♪ ♪
[horn honking]
[door opens]
It can't be.
How old is he?
If only I could tell you I'm here.
You don't need to do this, whatever this is.
It's not too late to stop it.
- So good to see you, hon. - Yeah, you too, Dad.
Dad?
♪ ♪
The place belongs to a couple from church.
There are plenty of rooms and it's...
It's ours right through New Year's.
Sounds like a pretty cool place.
Even has a hot tub out on the patio.
Though if... [laughs] I know Nancy,
she won't let the kids near it.
She doesn't normally want the kids near me either,
but here we are.
I really think you'd love it up there, honey.
Yeah, um...
I don't know my schedule that far out, unfortunately.
Of course. I... I...
I understand.
And you wonder why he asks for more.
Um...
But I'll totally check and I'll let you know
as soon as possible.
What? Is it too much for a Dickens festival?
No, no. I mean...
It's just some people may find it, you know...
How is Nancy?
[dramatic music]
♪ ♪
Why is he your secret, Beck?
[lively string music]
"Has only one fault that I know of.
"And it happens, unfortunately, that that single blemish
"is a want of taste.
She don't like me."
[laughter]
Pretty great, huh, sweetie?
Yeah, it's, uh, amazing.
Amazing this many people are fans of contrived plotting
and melodrama.
If they even read Dickens.
More likely they couldn't pass up
an excuse to day drink.
How's your mom?
Um... uh, she's actually...
She's on a cruise.
But she's great.
Riddled with anxiety,
low self-esteem, on antidepressants,
dating men so safe and boring
she must wanna scream
But don't worry.
You abandoning her didn't scar her at all.
How about your brother? How's he doing?
Uh, you know, works a lot.
Anya, too. But they seem happy.
According to Facebook.
And how's school going?
It's great, actually. I'm...
I'm just working on building my portfolio.
It's... it's more than just that first book.
[phone buzzing] You really need the second
if you're going... Hey, where are you guys?
[sighs]
Beck, you're such an asshole.
"Love me, Daddy. I'm gonna be a writer, Daddy."
God, just shut up forever.
There they are.
[upbeat music]
Oh, my God.
She's actually gotten more smug.
Beck, look, I have a cane.
Yes, you do.
Look at you guys.
You look... pretty.
Stop hating them.
They're just kids.
None of it's their fault.
Aw, thanks, Mia. So do you.
Guinevere, how are you?
Mm. Great. I love your dress.
Not necessarily you in it, but...
I bought you something.
Just couldn't resist.
- No, she's not. - Ohh. [Gasps]
Oh, it's perfect.
Oh, um... [clears throat]
[whispering] You're slipping a bit, dear.
Touch me again, crazy pants. I dare you.
Thank you.
[tense music]
Play a game?
You really are capable of keeping a secret.
Four, by my count.
Who the hell are you, Beck?
[laughter] Hi, there.
Hey! That's a boy. Oh! First try.
You're a natural.
[clattering] Yo!
Two down.
What an arm on him.
I know. I... I know I'm embarrassing, I know.
Babe, just get a shot for the blog.
- Ooh! - [screams]
If I wasn't so blinded by love,
I would've seen the secrets
right in front of me, waiting to be uncovered.
Captain Beck. AKA, The Captain.
AKA, Edward Martin Beck.
The addict part was true, I see.
But he never died, which he credits
to his friends in the NA fellowship
out of St. James Church.
It was there that he not only conquered his demons
but also met church rep and divorcée,
Nancy Whitesell.
AKA, "The Christian News'" Mommy Blogger of the Year.
"If Ned can do it, so can you."
He became a feature in her blog.
Then, her life.
Less than a year, they were married.
He really landed himself the perfect family.
If your step-mother is to be believed.
But what about you, Beck.
Where do you fit into all this?
♪ ♪
[brass band music]
[sighs]
Your father has come such a long way.
He worked hard for it, too.
You're barking up the wrong tree, lady,
if you think I'm gonna sit here
and validate that man.
Yeah, he's, uh... He's lucky to have you.
Hm.
Just goes to show you what a good Christian household
and loving family can do.
She did not just suggest if you were more Christian
he wouldn't have abandoned you for a crack pipe.
Mommy, come watch me.
Excuse me, my dear.
[sighs]
Your dad talk to you yet?
She's so her mother, only less subtle.
Talk to me about... Well, he's supposed to
tell you he can't send money anymore.
But he's gonna help you find a better job first.
[sighs] Mom doesn't think he should wait.
She's so cranky.
It's the hormones.
Oh. I wasn't supposed to tell you,
but she's pregnant.
That's why they're fighting about it.
Great. That's great.
He's starting a new family.
Because fixing the one he had obviously wasn't an option.
Why would he ever do that?
I'm going to find a bathroom. I'll be right back.
♪ ♪
Can I get another Timber Doodle?
Uh! Bitch.
[rock music]
♪ ♪
Hi. Is Joe Goldberg working today?
Joe Goldberg is not working today.
But, uh, I'm Ethan.
And you would be... Looking for Joe.
Expect him anytime soon? I do not.
Uh, relatively speaking. Joe's out of town.
But is there anything I can help you find?
Possibly. I'm in the market
for a first-edition copy of "Ozma of Oz."
Oh, that's a pretty rare critter.
Uh, not sure we have it.
See, books of that pedigree we keep
under lock and key downstairs.
And you don't have the key?
Well, normally I have the key.
But I just don't have it right now.
Uh, Joe left with it. He just forgot to give it to me.
And where is Joe?
[cell phone ringing]
I thought I was supposed to be writing.
Are you with Eight Seconds?
No, I told you. I'm on a retreat.
Is he with you?
[cell phone buzzes]
- What is it, Ethan? - Hey, bro.
Uh, I know you didn't wanna be interrupted,
but, uh, this chick was just in asking about
a first ed. "Ozma of Oz." What are you talking about?
Joe's there, in Nyack.
- What did she look like? - Uh, 25-ish, brunette,
kinda hot, but you know, maybe that's like a type thing.
Peach Salinger.
- Are you lying to me? - Of course you are,
that's what you do,
lie so your life looks better.
Peach, I'm... I'm not lying.
I told you, I'm here to write. I...
I can't deal with this right now
I promise I'll call you. And you told her I'm here?
I'm sorry, man. Did I screw up or...
You'll know I'm here. You may already know.
Hey, you. Oh, sorry.
So sorry.
How is this explainable?
Do I run? Shit, shit, shit.
[light music]
♪ ♪
Joe?
Beck?
What are you doing here?
[fiddle music]
That's true, you are a book seller, aren't you?
Sadly, I humiliate myself like this annually.
Mm. Well, this is kinda working for ya.
- You mock. - [laughs]
It's... it's fair.
[sighs]
I'm... I'm lying. I'm lying to you right now.
- Excuse me? - I knew you were here.
I wasn't happy with how we left things.
And apparently, neither were you,
seeing as how you were
hiding out in the bathroom. I... I...
I wasn't hiding, I swear.
We can at least agree that I may
have left you a little wanting.
- Yeah... - So, you're saying you did
want it to last longer than eight seconds?
No! I mean... yeah. As in...
Wait, I thought it was a race.
Didn't I win?
No. Um...
I just... I thought it'd be nice if I came and surprised you.
And not leave you with...
that memory of me for too long.
How did you, um...
How did you know I was here?
Oh, well, you posted a nature shot this morning.
See that little restaurant sign in the background?
Apparently, Pops and Millie's ain't a chain.
Mm, shocking. Really should be.
Yeah.
So I Googled it and I saw all the information
about the festival and I figured
this was probably why you were in the area.
And by the way, this outfit
is really working on you, too.
Ohh.
Um...
[sighs]
Can you hold on for just one second?
Hey, sweetie. Cooper's kinda hitting a wall.
We were gonna head back and rest up before dinner.
Oh, okay. I'll find my own
ride back to the hotel, so...
And who is this handsome gentleman?
Sorry, this is... this is Joe.
He works at a book store I go to in the city.
Well, hey, Joe.
This is my wife, Nancy. I'm... I'm Ned, Beck's dad.
- Hi. - Hey, nice to meet you both.
You're welcome to join us for dinner, Joe.
Yes! Totally. If you can.
[sighs] I... I'd love to.
We'll see you then.
Okay, uh...
I can explain.
Um...
[sighs]
One day, when I was, um, 12,
I got home from school before my brother and sister.
My mom was at work.
So I go into the basement to play "Mario Brothers"
And I, uh... I find...
my father...
unconscious, with a needle in his arm.
I thought he was dead.
I'm so sorry
you had to go through that.
I mean, he survived it.
And... which, of course, was this amazing thing.
So when he disappeared on us because he relapsed,
I just...
I couldn't believe it.
Right then and there, I decided he was dead.
Which is why I told you he was, which is...
[sighs]
Totally wrong, I mean, who does that?
[chuckles] The first deep, personal thing
I tell you is a total lie.
Well, hang on. That's...
No, I get it if you are horrified
and think I'm a total fraud and liar
and want nothing to do with me.
After everything you've been through?
I get it.
I'm sorry.
[chuckles]
You're sorry?
I am.
Anyway, I was... I was at Brown
and he tracked me down to say he had gotten clean.
And then he says he wants to help
with my school and some of my bills.
Like dad amends. So I bury my resentment
and start having lunches with him
and doing stupid shit like this.
Playing the dutiful daughter.
Enduring this nauseatingly perfect new family of his.
- I'm sure they're not perfect. - Believe me,
they are. Well, I guess
I'll find out tonight. No. [Laughs]
I'm not subjecting you to that.
I'll just... I'll tell them you had to go back.
Book emergency. I'd be on board,
but that would be so un-Victorian of me.
The virtuous maiden is supposed to be rescued
by the dashing, sometimes broody
altogether charming hero. [laughs]
And who is that? Is that... Is that meant to be you?
[laughter]
But that boat, she can take it.
You know. No, no, I know,
I know it well.
I don't know if Beck's told you,
but I captained the Nantucket Ferry
for 16 years.
I did not know... see, now,
I feel like I've been telling
Mickey Mantle how to hold a bat.
Oh, please.
Do you sail, too?
Oh, God, no. Never had the patience for it.
Oh, Dad, you know your way around a sailboat.
Well, enough to know that I'm all thumbs.
Yeah, I've been out a couple times.
You don't remember the renters next door?
They had that Sunfish they let you take out.
The Murphys. Their cars were always blocking the driveway.
How's life in the big city, dear?
It's great. Thanks for asking.
Oh, and we broke our centerboard that one time.
And... and the current took us, like, halfway to Long Island.
Eh... what'd I say? Not much of a sailor.
[laughs] But you do, you remember it, right?
I mean, it was pouring.
I learned every swear word in the book that day.
I don't think he remembers, dear.
I think he can speak for himself, Nancy.
God, you know, you don't... You don't have to protect him.
Okay, he's... he's not a child.
[silverware clanks] You're one to talk.
- Excuse me? - You invest nothing
in this family.
Nothing.
Not even a call to your father on his birthday.
You know what? Stop.
You have no idea what you're talking about.
'Cause your father... He's just an ATM to you.
Right, Beck? Uh, please,
let's not do this. Okay, I'm sorry.
And what is he to you?
A feature for your blog so you can brag
how you lifted him out of the pits of despair?
News flash! He was sober when you met him.
I was in the pits with him.
And not because I wasn't Christian enough.
You didn't save him.
You think he'll fall over
if you pull your hand out of his ass?
- Guinevere! Enough. - [sighs]
What the hell are you looking at?
- Guinevere. - Do not talk
to my daughter that way.
Okay, whatever. I'm done.
Oh, and, um...
congrats on the baby.
How blessed you all are.
[slams table]
[dark tone]
♪ ♪
Do you want him dead?
What?
Kinda feels like you and he...
have some unresolved stuff.
Believe me, I'm king of unresolved family issues.
I know what people splitting feels like.
[sighs]
I just wonder if, uh...
Look, he's here. He's alive.
Use that as an opportunity to talk to him.
Or, uh, you're a writer.
Could be helpful to write about him.
Cathartic, too. What are you doing?
N-nothing... I don't...
Do you hear yourself right now?
I mean, who the hell are you
to tell me that I have daddy issues.
You don't even know me.
Hey, Beck, hang... Hang... hang on...
Just go.
Leave me alone. I'm serious.
[sighs]
♪ ♪
Hey, hon.
We're gonna get going.
Cool, um...
Thanks for dinner.
This should cover the room.
It's hard for me to see you with them.
I keep waiting for you to be you again.
Well, this is me, Guinevere.
No, it's not. You were...
Reckless.
And out of control.
And, honey, you were a kid, you...
You didn't see what was going on.
Yes...
Yes, I did.
And you were more than just an addict.
I miss you.
[sighs] Whatever.
You know, I tell people that you're dead.
Kinda feels like you did die that day in the basement.
[somber music]
♪ ♪
I'm sorry you feel that way.
You were a good sailor.
Well, maybe you can tell me about it sometime.
Maybe in Vermont.
Over Christmas.
Like I said, I'll have to let you know.
♪ ♪
[somber pop music]
♪ ♪
[sighs]
♪ ♪
[sighs]
On the plywood over the bay window,
we spray paint taunts at Hurricane Isabel.
Cow her into a tropical storm.
Her moon tide, though, carries your beach chair away.
Sea glass and Springsteen.
The beached whale, the silent walk home.
The grill that doesn't start on the Fourth of July.
♪ ♪
The woman at the drug store you hit on who isn't Mom.
The renters blocking the drive.
The string of my sweatshirt I gnaw on.
Morning sun over Wauwinet.
The red ladle over the pan.
Your wrist, the perfect cant.
[phone buzzes]
You leave for the 8:20 to Hyannis with one commandment.
Get the batter off the ladle while it's wet.
[sighs]
The ladle's left in the sink.
Mom lets it soak.
Leave it, she says.
You go away, and we come home.
And what's left of you. It loosens.
And the water carries it away.
♪ ♪
[water running]
[phone buzzes]
[phone buzzing]
♪ ♪
[phone buzzes]
[sighs]
♪ ♪
[knocking]
[inhales, exhales]
[locks unlatching]
♪ ♪
They say girls with daddy issues are really good in bed.
Mm.
♪ ♪
I like who I am with you, Joe.
♪ You can see it ♪ ♪ in my eyes ♪
♪ On the level ♪
♪ Comin' out of nowhere ♪
♪ ♪
Mm, mm... sorry I didn't call.
Is it okay if I come in?
♪ I'm rebel ♪
♪ Take a breath ♪ ♪ and say a prayer ♪
Ah! [Laughs]
♪ You play your game, ♪ ♪ I take my time ♪
Ahh!
♪ - You take your aim ♪
♪ Commit your crime ♪
Ahh!
- Oh! - [laughs] Ah!
Too rough for you, Goldberg?
Not at all.
♪ I'm a rebel ♪
♪ Comin' out of nowhere ♪
- Uh! - Yeah!
♪ Take a breath ♪ ♪ and say a prayer ♪
[sighing]
[sighs] I want you, Joe.
♪ Comin' out of no... rebel ♪
♪ Comin' out of no... ♪ ♪ Rebel ♪
♪ Comin' out of no... ♪
♪ Comin' out ♪ ♪ of no... ♪
[both moan]
[upbeat, light music]
♪ ♪
[sighs]
♪ ♪
Hey, stranger.
Ohh.
You drool in your sleep.
So cute.
Were you watching me?
Maybe.
Uh-oh. Stalker.
Learn from the best.
[sentimental music]
♪ ♪
[both laugh]
How... how did you figure out where I live?
[sighs]
The bearded guy from the bookstore.
Oh.
Mm, you taste like maple syrup.
- Mm, wait. - What?
[sighs]
I have to apologize about our talk.
I was a hostile goose.
A hostile goose?
Yeah, geese are total dicks.
But, uh, no, seriously.
You called me on my shit,
and I took it really poorly.
Because, um... well, because
you were totally right, and I didn't wanna hear it
and I'm sorry.
Like you said, we barely know each other.
And here I was, trying... You really don't think
we know each other?
I mean, I was just... I was angry when I said that and...
Look...
sometimes I could swear I've known you forever.
But in the grand scheme of things,
Not long enough
for me to be commenting
on your relationship with your father.
Oh, you were just trying to help me see
that I'm full of shit. [laughs]
And you were sweet.
Uh, it's funny. I feel like every guy I date is...
They're either messes... Like my dad was...
Or they're like my dad is now,
trying to be something that they think they should.
Or they're me.
Both a mess and a fraud.
You're not a fraud.
- So just a mess? - No, not more than anyone.
But then there is you.
I mean, you're not trying to be anything than what you are.
You're just you. There's not an ounce
of falseness in you.
I mean, you drink Cafe Bustelo and you own starch.
And I like how you don't care about dumb shit
like posting your life online.
I mean, it's... It's a revelation.
Do you know how many selfies I've taken on the toilet?
A lot.
[laughs]
Okay, instead of sitting here,
watching you judge me,
I'm gonna go pee. No.
I'm not...
And try not to take a selfie.
[door closes]
What are the chances
I'm getting a follow-up review?
[upbeat pop music]
♪ Heaven ♪
♪ I'm in heaven ♪
Apparently I've redeemed myself.
Far be it for me to stop you
from shouting it from the rooftops.
Plus, I guess it is nice to hear it from your friends.
Even if not all of them
can share in your happiness.
♪ ♪
It's really too bad
the one whose approval you crave most
isn't my biggest fan.
♪ ♪
Fortunately, Paco's a remarkably quick reader.
I can return the book I, of course,
never had any intention of keeping.
And if that's not enough,
if Peach still has a problem...
well, every relationship has
its obstacles to overcome, right?
I won't let her get in the way of us, Beck.
I won't.
♪ I'm in heaven ♪