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Previously on Kidding...
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Our next guest is celebrating
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his 30th anniversary in
children's television.
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I had a son named Phil.
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He died.
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Will, we're finally
getting new neighbors.
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If Jill finds out you bought
the house next to her,
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she'll take Will and leave.
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I saw Jill hugging another man.
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You mean fucking.
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Please don't use a bad word
when you can use a good word.
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Are you and Dad getting divorced?
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No. Why would you ask me that?
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I think Scott might be gay.
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I need to know, did you
have sexual relations
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with the Japanese version
of your brother?
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I want you to know that you can
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come by the house whenever you like.
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Tonight? We could go for a walk.
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Will's smoking reefer
like a jazz musician.
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You are breaking your father's
heart with this shit.
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I have a tremendous
amount of pent-up anger.
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And I know I dress like a Mormon
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and I talk like a monk,
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but inside, I'm Mount St. Helens
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and it's 1980 and I am
magma from the neck down.
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Thanks for trusting me with Will.
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You wanna smoke a joint?
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Do you think your dad's gonna kill
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your mom's new boyfriend?
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No. That wouldn't be nice.
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Subtitles by explosiveskull
Corrected by MementMori
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As long as I've known the both of you,
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I have enjoyed watching
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your shared and selfless
language of kindness.
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Yours is a chemistry
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built on the mutual love of love itself
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and the knowledge
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that each of you contains
the inner strength
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to tackle every challenge together.
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Aw.
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To borrow a tradition
I admire from another faith...
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May your love last as long as it takes
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to put this glass back together.
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This part always felt a little violent
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for holy matrimony.
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You have it in you.
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I know it.
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Go on, Jeff, smash it.
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I love you...
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Jill Piccirillo.
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Gosh, I hope so,
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after all that buildup.
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Ooh!
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Hello?
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♪ O, holy night ♪
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♪ The stars are brightly ♪
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♪ Shining ♪
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♪ It is the night ♪
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♪ Of our dear Savior's birth ♪
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♪ Long lay the world ♪
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♪ In sin and error pining ♪
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♪ Till He appeared ♪
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♪ And the soul felt its worth... ♪
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Mr. Pickles, this is Bobby Belongo
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with the South Bend chapter
of the Pickles Platoon.
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I've got a bunch of
rowdy Pickle Pals here
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who wanted to serenade
you on Christmas Eve.
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My goodness...
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what talent.
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♪ A new and glorious morn ♪
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And this is Danny.
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Danny earned the most
pickle points this year,
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and as a reward, he gets to
wish you good yule tidings
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all by himself.
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Merry Christmas, Mr. Pickles.
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Merry Christmas, Danny.
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Have you been a good boy this year?
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♪ ... voices ♪
♪ O, night... ♪
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He was on drugs.
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Peter?
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Peter.
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- Peter.
- I'll call 911.
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He's unresponsive.
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Cervical spine's intact.
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Multiple traumas to the chest
and abdomen... tell them!
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How many traumas is multiple traumas?
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- Are you okay?
- You talking to me?
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Jeff, you were in a car accident.
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- Are you hurt?
- No. Thank you for asking.
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Please stay on the line.
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Calls are answered in the
order they are received.
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It's Christmas Eve.
You'll never get through.
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Is he dead?
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We need to put him on
some kind of stretcher.
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This my fault.
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I did this.
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He took an Ambien. Who knows
what he was thinking?
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He probably walked right in front of you
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and didn't even realize it.
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Jeff, Jeff! Jeff!
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If he's not on an operating table
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in 20 minutes, he is going to bleed out.
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I need you.
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Help me.
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Is my toboggan still in the garage?
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♪ I'ma go, I'ma go ♪
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♪ I'ma go, I'ma go get it, yeah ♪
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♪ I'ma go, I'ma go, I'ma go ♪
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♪ I'ma go, I'ma go get it, yeah ♪
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♪ I'ma go, I'ma go, I'ma go ♪
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♪ I'ma go, I'ma go get it, yeah ♪
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♪ I'ma go, I'ma go, I'ma go ♪
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♪ I'ma go, I'ma go get it, yeah ♪
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♪ I'ma go, I'ma go,
I'ma go, I'ma go... ♪
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I think we should see other people.
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What else does he need?
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He needs you to drive as
fast as humanly possible!
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Don't do drugs!
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Hold on, Pete.
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- We're gonna get ya help!
- Yeah, yeah...
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No!
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Oh, it's just Santa!
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- It's just Santa!
- Okay.
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Oh!
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- Um, uh, hold on.
- Just kick it!
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Kick it!
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I'm gonna call out the road,
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and you're gonna repeat it back, okay?
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- Okay.
- Sharp left!
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Sharp left. Ah!
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Gimme your hand!
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- Huh?
- Gimme your hand. Gimme your hand.
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- Huh? What?
- Keep your fingers gently on his neck.
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I need you to register his pulse
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so I can keep putting
pressure on the bleeding.
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- Pothole!
- Pothole! Ow!
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If you don't feel a pulse,
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I need you to pull over
so I can perform CPR!
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We're almost there. Changing lanes!
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- Changing back!
- Changing back!
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Fuck this fucking light!
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What the fuck is up with
this fucking light?
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Hold on!
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Get me to the hospital.
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Get me to the hospital.
Get me to the hospital!
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I'm gonna call out the road,
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and you're gonna repeat it back to me.
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- Mm.
- Right turn.
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- Right turn.
- I can't hear you.
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Right turn!
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Oh!
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The twins are giving me the-the hiccups.
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You're doin' great...
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Mom.
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Please drive faster!
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Okay!
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Oh... if Astronotter were here,
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he'd tell you you need to take
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a calming-down breath.
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No, he'd say, "Me-me-meep, me-me-meep."
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Help us, please!
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We need help!
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Weak pulse, internal bleeding.
He was on Ambien and pot.
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- He walked into traffic.
- Copy. Trauma one.
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Code blue!
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So what your dad is trying to say is...
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When two heterosexual people
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reach a point in their relationship...
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Did you get me everything
on my Christmas list?
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- Pretty much.
- Almost, yeah.
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- Cool.
- A point in their relationship
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when, uh, things are
no longer feasible...
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- What's "feasible"?
- It's a Japanese word for "exciting."
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Hey, whatever happened
to Mr. Pickles-san?
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- He went home.
- He's probably in Guantanamo Bay.
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- What's that?
- It's what your mom calls our bedroom.
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Nice.
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When a marriage is no longer feasible,
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a mutual decision is made...
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Well, 60-40, if we're gonna be honest.
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- Hi.
- I think I killed Peter.
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I gotta go.
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We're getting a divorce.
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Can I open another present?
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Here, open this one.
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Can I talk to you in
the kitchen, please?
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Don't throw it in the house.
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I love you, ax.
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So then you tried to kill him?
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I didn't try to kill him.
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I tried to hit him with my car.
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Did anybody see you?
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What did I do?
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You got between your kid and
drugs any way you could.
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When Jill comes back, I'm
gonna tell her everything.
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- Why would you do that?
- I think I'll feel better
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- if she knew.
- No, no.
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00:09:02,302 --> 00:09:04,620
You need to lie right now.
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Under no circumstances
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00:09:06,460 --> 00:09:09,199
should you tell her what you did.
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Or anyone.
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I'm sorry. I don't know how to lie.
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Think of it as a secret.
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You're good at keeping secrets.
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- Hmm.
- Besides, if Peter dies,
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00:09:20,600 --> 00:09:22,719
there's no point in confessing.
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Plus... she'll be single
again, so that's good.
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00:09:25,773 --> 00:09:28,819
If I can't be honest with her, who am I?
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I'm gonna tell her about
buying the house too.
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00:09:30,946 --> 00:09:33,155
If you tell her what you
did, you will lose her.
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00:09:33,156 --> 00:09:37,610
You'll lose Will.
You'll lose everything.
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There is nothing after that.
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Thank you for listening to me.
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I'm gonna go find Jill.
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Fuuuuuuck.
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00:10:01,518 --> 00:10:03,183
Did you see the way
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00:10:03,184 --> 00:10:05,179
he lowered that body into the trunk
219
00:10:05,180 --> 00:10:07,179
like he'd been doing it his whole life?
220
00:10:07,180 --> 00:10:09,810
Like he was a sniper
during the Lesbianic Wars.
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00:10:09,817 --> 00:10:11,170
I hate him!
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00:10:11,178 --> 00:10:14,340
How long do you think that he's
been living in that house,
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00:10:14,342 --> 00:10:16,060
stalking his prey?
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00:10:16,064 --> 00:10:17,950
How close were you?
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00:10:17,951 --> 00:10:19,577
We were on the bed.
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00:10:19,578 --> 00:10:21,459
- Was there tongue?
- I told her I loved her.
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00:10:21,460 --> 00:10:22,630
I touched her boob.
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00:10:22,631 --> 00:10:24,830
And then my dad killed a guy!
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00:10:24,833 --> 00:10:26,110
Cockblock.
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00:10:26,115 --> 00:10:27,877
Wait, why'd you tell her you loved her?
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00:10:27,878 --> 00:10:29,910
Are you not supposed to?
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00:10:29,919 --> 00:10:31,249
Seems extreme.
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00:10:32,960 --> 00:10:35,759
Whatever. My mom is going
to punch him in the dick
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00:10:35,760 --> 00:10:38,709
when I tell her that his shit
was in the closet next door!
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00:10:38,710 --> 00:10:39,929
He's a straight-up killer.
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00:10:39,930 --> 00:10:41,620
I bet he pickles their bodies,
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then serves them on a plate
next to giant sandwiches.
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00:10:45,736 --> 00:10:48,090
Who would eat a pickled person?
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00:10:48,099 --> 00:10:50,260
Horses, man.
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00:10:50,261 --> 00:10:51,580
Horses.
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00:10:51,583 --> 00:10:53,652
Fuckin' sharks of the prairie, yo.
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I don't understand.
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00:10:57,100 --> 00:10:59,249
What is the fucking delay?
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I'm sorry, we can't get him into surgery
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00:11:01,474 --> 00:11:03,779
until the anesthesiologist
on call arrives.
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00:11:03,780 --> 00:11:05,990
We paged him, but he's not responding.
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00:11:05,999 --> 00:11:08,749
Peter is the anesthesiologist on call.
248
00:11:08,750 --> 00:11:10,295
I'll find the surgeon.
249
00:11:11,760 --> 00:11:12,960
Ohh!
250
00:11:15,520 --> 00:11:16,879
Ohh!
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00:11:22,800 --> 00:11:25,900
I need to tell you a few things.
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I have to call his family.
253
00:11:28,814 --> 00:11:31,440
I've never met his family!
254
00:11:31,441 --> 00:11:33,009
Do you know that Peter
is a lapsed Mormon?
255
00:11:33,010 --> 00:11:34,389
He has, like, a dozen siblings,
256
00:11:34,390 --> 00:11:35,590
and they're all flight attendants
257
00:11:35,591 --> 00:11:37,153
who work for the same airline.
258
00:11:37,154 --> 00:11:38,899
He doesn't speak to his parents!
259
00:11:38,900 --> 00:11:42,114
Now I have to call his Mormon
mother on Jesus's birthday!
260
00:11:42,115 --> 00:11:44,599
In the same sentence,
I have to introduce myself
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00:11:44,600 --> 00:11:46,580
and give her the worst news of her life!
262
00:11:46,581 --> 00:11:48,249
I can call his parents.
263
00:11:48,250 --> 00:11:50,160
I'm sorry this happened to you.
264
00:11:51,128 --> 00:11:53,239
I'm sorry he wandered into traffic
265
00:11:53,240 --> 00:11:55,610
and ruined your Christmas.
266
00:12:02,850 --> 00:12:05,210
Christmas isn't over yet.
267
00:12:06,460 --> 00:12:08,780
What did you wanna tell me?
268
00:12:12,672 --> 00:12:14,399
I'll tell you later.
269
00:12:30,251 --> 00:12:32,650
Sorry. I'm drunk.
270
00:12:32,654 --> 00:12:34,920
Jeff, Jill.
271
00:12:34,921 --> 00:12:36,709
Hi, I'm Dr. Hernandez.
272
00:12:36,710 --> 00:12:38,279
Uh, sorry I'm not in uniform.
I wasn't supposed
273
00:12:38,280 --> 00:12:39,859
to be working tonight.
274
00:12:39,860 --> 00:12:41,740
Peter is in critical condition
275
00:12:41,744 --> 00:12:43,929
but stable at this moment.
276
00:12:43,930 --> 00:12:46,181
He's breathing on his own.
277
00:12:46,182 --> 00:12:48,058
He did lose a lot of blood, though.
278
00:12:48,059 --> 00:12:50,430
I'm a universal donor.
Just say the word.
279
00:12:50,434 --> 00:12:51,895
Thank you, but we're not there yet.
280
00:12:51,896 --> 00:12:53,147
We'll know more in the morning.
281
00:12:53,148 --> 00:12:54,830
For now, I think the best thing to do
282
00:12:54,839 --> 00:12:56,559
is to go home and get some sleep.
283
00:12:56,560 --> 00:12:58,399
- I'll call you personally.
- Thank you, Doctor.
284
00:12:58,400 --> 00:13:00,195
Hopefully he'll be up
and talking by then.
285
00:13:00,196 --> 00:13:02,310
Mm.
286
00:13:05,570 --> 00:13:07,730
Let me take you home.
287
00:13:09,415 --> 00:13:10,622
Okay.
288
00:13:10,623 --> 00:13:13,000
And you...
289
00:13:13,739 --> 00:13:15,940
Ah...
290
00:13:36,191 --> 00:13:38,400
Ooh.
291
00:13:40,160 --> 00:13:41,560
Ohh!
292
00:13:49,779 --> 00:13:52,580
I...
293
00:13:52,582 --> 00:13:54,579
Um...
294
00:13:58,040 --> 00:14:00,239
Do you know that house next door?
295
00:14:00,240 --> 00:14:04,949
It's, uh, same as ours,
only backwards and empty.
296
00:14:06,520 --> 00:14:08,559
When it was f-for sale...
297
00:14:08,560 --> 00:14:11,480
Would you mind staying here...
298
00:14:11,483 --> 00:14:13,560
with us tonight?
299
00:14:31,745 --> 00:14:33,620
Good night.
300
00:14:33,627 --> 00:14:34,979
Night.
301
00:15:18,751 --> 00:15:21,090
_
302
00:15:33,400 --> 00:15:34,429
Hello.
303
00:15:34,430 --> 00:15:37,719
Mrs. Zeckhauser, uh...
304
00:15:37,720 --> 00:15:41,180
... um, you don't know me, but...
305
00:15:41,182 --> 00:15:46,361
I'm your son Peter's, um... friend.
306
00:15:52,234 --> 00:15:53,489
Ho, ho, ho.
307
00:15:53,490 --> 00:15:56,419
Here... comes...
308
00:15:56,420 --> 00:15:58,640
Santa Claus.
309
00:16:41,929 --> 00:16:43,959
Quick, wake the other one up,
310
00:16:43,960 --> 00:16:45,970
and let's see if they'll harmonize.
311
00:16:54,097 --> 00:16:56,182
_
312
00:17:15,045 --> 00:17:17,035
I am listening.
313
00:17:17,036 --> 00:17:18,769
I am listening.
314
00:17:18,770 --> 00:17:21,583
Are you... looking for me?
315
00:17:24,480 --> 00:17:27,170
No one left a plate
of cookies for Santa.
316
00:17:32,620 --> 00:17:33,803
Mmm.
317
00:17:37,540 --> 00:17:40,830
So...
318
00:17:40,834 --> 00:17:42,779
did you tell your mom
319
00:17:42,780 --> 00:17:44,799
about me buying the house next door?
320
00:17:44,800 --> 00:17:46,020
Why did you buy it?
321
00:17:47,500 --> 00:17:50,599
At the time, it seemed like...
322
00:17:50,600 --> 00:17:52,299
a romantic gesture,
323
00:17:52,300 --> 00:17:54,720
to be closer to you guys.
324
00:17:54,729 --> 00:17:57,089
Because I love you guys.
325
00:17:57,090 --> 00:17:59,139
That's why I've done...
326
00:17:59,140 --> 00:18:01,747
everything I've done.
327
00:18:01,748 --> 00:18:06,140
Were you ever a sniper in
Lebanon... under Reagan?
328
00:18:06,142 --> 00:18:08,128
I would have been 16.
329
00:18:08,129 --> 00:18:10,699
Didn't answer the question.
330
00:18:10,700 --> 00:18:12,460
Shit, that's molten lava.
331
00:18:12,467 --> 00:18:15,094
You okay? Please don't use a bad word...
332
00:18:15,095 --> 00:18:16,940
Wait.
333
00:18:16,960 --> 00:18:21,225
Only use a bad word when
no good word will do.
334
00:18:24,140 --> 00:18:25,980
I'm not gonna tell Mom what you did.
335
00:18:27,926 --> 00:18:30,070
I will.
336
00:18:31,220 --> 00:18:32,862
It's important to be honest.
337
00:18:33,740 --> 00:18:37,160
I like seeing you two together
338
00:18:37,170 --> 00:18:39,868
more than I like seeing you apart.
339
00:18:44,332 --> 00:18:48,779
♪ There is no Christmas ♪
340
00:18:48,780 --> 00:18:52,910
♪ Like a home Christmas ♪
341
00:18:52,913 --> 00:18:55,510
♪ With your dad and mother ♪
342
00:18:55,516 --> 00:18:58,428
♪ Sis and brother there ♪
343
00:19:00,723 --> 00:19:03,759
♪ With their hearts humming ♪
344
00:19:03,760 --> 00:19:05,179
Fire in the hole!
345
00:19:05,180 --> 00:19:09,949
♪ At your homecomin' and that merry... ♪
346
00:19:09,950 --> 00:19:10,983
What do you think?
347
00:19:12,860 --> 00:19:15,269
Breakfast first... or presents?
348
00:19:15,270 --> 00:19:16,899
I don't know.
349
00:19:16,900 --> 00:19:19,616
I'm gonna call the
hospital and check in.
350
00:19:19,617 --> 00:19:23,245
- But after that?
- I'm not sure we have time.
351
00:19:23,246 --> 00:19:25,140
There's always time for Christmas.
352
00:19:28,120 --> 00:19:30,899
I didn't really have time
to go shopping last night,
353
00:19:30,900 --> 00:19:33,869
so you're mostly getting things
I found around the house.
354
00:19:33,870 --> 00:19:35,359
This is for you.
355
00:19:35,360 --> 00:19:36,519
It's a lamp.
356
00:19:36,520 --> 00:19:38,819
Ah, yes, this must have
really set you back.
357
00:19:38,820 --> 00:19:40,859
Bulbs too! Big spender.
358
00:19:40,860 --> 00:19:43,265
Wait'll you see what I got for you.
359
00:19:43,266 --> 00:19:45,809
♪ ... oh, that's the time of year ♪
360
00:19:45,810 --> 00:19:48,937
♪ All roads lead home ♪
361
00:19:48,938 --> 00:19:51,773
Cool! Is it a bicycle?
362
00:19:51,774 --> 00:19:53,400
Did you peek?
363
00:20:07,315 --> 00:20:11,759
♪ La, la, la, la-la ♪
364
00:20:11,760 --> 00:20:15,630
♪ La-la-la, la, la ♪
365
00:20:15,631 --> 00:20:21,169
♪ La-la-la, la-la-la,
la-la, la-la, la-la ♪
366
00:20:21,170 --> 00:20:24,765
♪ Merry Christmas,
merry, merry Christmas ♪
367
00:20:24,766 --> 00:20:28,769
♪ Christmas bells, Christmas bells ♪
368
00:20:28,770 --> 00:20:33,140
♪ Ringing loud and strong ♪
369
00:20:33,144 --> 00:20:36,526
♪ Follow them, follow them ♪
370
00:20:36,527 --> 00:20:40,614
♪ You've been away ♪
371
00:20:40,615 --> 00:20:43,130
♪ Too long ♪
372
00:20:43,155 --> 00:20:44,709
♪ Too long ♪
373
00:20:44,710 --> 00:20:49,400
♪ There is no Christmas ♪
374
00:20:49,402 --> 00:20:51,750
♪ Like a home... ♪
375
00:20:54,960 --> 00:20:56,672
Hello?
376
00:21:02,416 --> 00:21:04,846
Was it the hospital?
377
00:21:04,847 --> 00:21:07,739
Ma'am, your son suffered
378
00:21:07,740 --> 00:21:09,959
blunt-force trauma to the lower abdomen,
379
00:21:09,960 --> 00:21:11,899
resulting in a hepatic hemorrhage.
380
00:21:11,900 --> 00:21:14,999
His liver's bleeding.
They can't stop it.
381
00:21:15,000 --> 00:21:17,470
Please let the doctor talk.
382
00:21:17,473 --> 00:21:19,939
She's not family. Continue.
383
00:21:19,940 --> 00:21:21,119
She's right.
384
00:21:21,120 --> 00:21:22,939
He needs a new liver within two days,
385
00:21:22,940 --> 00:21:24,400
or it will fail,
386
00:21:24,408 --> 00:21:25,909
and then there's nothing we can do.
387
00:21:25,910 --> 00:21:28,359
- What about a donor?
- That's the next ask.
388
00:21:28,360 --> 00:21:29,719
We could try a donor list,
389
00:21:29,720 --> 00:21:31,819
but I'm afraid that won't
work with our time frame.
390
00:21:31,820 --> 00:21:33,959
Peter's best hope is in this room.
391
00:21:33,960 --> 00:21:35,859
If you're a match and wish to donate
392
00:21:35,860 --> 00:21:37,629
a healthy portion of your liver,
393
00:21:37,630 --> 00:21:39,047
the risks are there, but it's, uh...
394
00:21:39,048 --> 00:21:40,757
well, it's the only thing to do.
395
00:21:40,758 --> 00:21:42,423
What constitutes a match?
396
00:21:42,424 --> 00:21:44,779
We'll take you into a room,
ask you some questions.
397
00:21:44,780 --> 00:21:46,299
You'll need to have the same blood type
398
00:21:46,300 --> 00:21:47,640
or be a universal donor.
399
00:21:50,309 --> 00:21:52,310
- I'll volunteer.
- Me too.
400
00:21:52,311 --> 00:21:54,710
You'll need relatively the
same body type and build.
401
00:21:54,714 --> 00:21:56,860
Same gender is a big plus.
402
00:21:58,670 --> 00:21:59,699
Hmm.
403
00:21:59,700 --> 00:22:01,689
Looks like I fit the bill.
404
00:22:01,690 --> 00:22:04,990
- Oh, thank you, Bart.
- It's not an issue, Mom.
405
00:22:04,991 --> 00:22:08,451
Jesus said to His disciples,
"When you give," not if.
406
00:22:08,452 --> 00:22:10,490
That's a very noble thing you're doing.
407
00:22:10,491 --> 00:22:12,770
To think his first words
to you after 15 years
408
00:22:12,774 --> 00:22:14,916
will be "thank you." Mm.
409
00:22:14,917 --> 00:22:17,869
I don't give for man's praise.
I give for God's.
410
00:22:17,870 --> 00:22:19,599
Oh, and you cannot have had
411
00:22:19,600 --> 00:22:21,500
an alcoholic beverage
in the last 72 hours.
412
00:22:22,380 --> 00:22:24,379
So if you'll follow me,
we'll sign some papers
413
00:22:24,380 --> 00:22:25,840
and get started.
414
00:22:26,989 --> 00:22:28,890
Uh... I can't.
415
00:22:31,920 --> 00:22:33,499
Every year after you go to bed,
416
00:22:33,500 --> 00:22:36,188
Father plies us with a
bottle of Hungarian pálinka.
417
00:22:37,480 --> 00:22:38,799
We drink every drop.
418
00:22:38,800 --> 00:22:41,350
We bury the empty bottles
in the pet cemetery.
419
00:22:42,278 --> 00:22:43,819
Well, now your brother's gonna die.
420
00:22:43,820 --> 00:22:45,879
Lillian, I'm sure there's
another viable candidate.
421
00:22:45,880 --> 00:22:49,327
- Why are you still here?
- Dad, what's pálinka?
422
00:22:50,215 --> 00:22:51,494
Dad?
423
00:23:05,110 --> 00:23:07,720
Jeff.
424
00:23:08,555 --> 00:23:10,860
I think we dropped a hat.
425
00:23:12,200 --> 00:23:16,220
Do you see it, a little
blue and pink hat?
426
00:23:20,441 --> 00:23:23,170
Just leave the wheelchair on the curb.
427
00:23:23,171 --> 00:23:25,210
Like a grocery cart.
428
00:23:25,213 --> 00:23:26,614
Someone will come get it.
429
00:23:28,600 --> 00:23:31,368
Let's go home... Dad
430
00:24:12,159 --> 00:24:13,819
If you move him to another hospital,
431
00:24:13,820 --> 00:24:15,699
he's still going to need a liver.
432
00:24:15,700 --> 00:24:17,309
Aren't you still married?
433
00:24:17,310 --> 00:24:19,379
My husband and I are separated.
434
00:24:19,380 --> 00:24:20,859
And isn't he also Mormon?
435
00:24:20,860 --> 00:24:22,586
Common misconception.
436
00:24:27,280 --> 00:24:28,359
Mm...
437
00:24:28,360 --> 00:24:30,910
may I please speak to the two of you?
438
00:24:33,329 --> 00:24:35,480
Is everything okay?
439
00:24:45,422 --> 00:24:48,569
Peter...
440
00:24:48,570 --> 00:24:50,406
... didn't walk into traffic.
441
00:24:54,600 --> 00:24:58,510
Uh... I...
442
00:25:07,350 --> 00:25:09,507
... fucked up.
443
00:25:42,880 --> 00:25:45,259
By the way,
444
00:25:45,260 --> 00:25:48,730
we are really huge fans of your show.
445
00:25:48,732 --> 00:25:49,924
Before we can determine
446
00:25:49,925 --> 00:25:51,659
your viability as a donor,
447
00:25:51,660 --> 00:25:54,177
I need to ask you a few questions.
448
00:25:54,178 --> 00:25:55,384
Why do you want to do this?
449
00:25:55,385 --> 00:25:57,460
Because it's important
to do the right thing.
450
00:25:57,470 --> 00:25:58,839
- Are you a smoker?
- No.
451
00:25:58,840 --> 00:26:00,225
Do you take recreational drugs?
452
00:26:00,226 --> 00:26:01,518
- No.
- Not even pot?
453
00:26:01,519 --> 00:26:02,599
No.
454
00:26:02,600 --> 00:26:04,119
Ah. Ha.
455
00:26:04,120 --> 00:26:07,269
And... when was the last
time you had a drink?
456
00:26:08,800 --> 00:26:11,420
June 21, 2003.
457
00:26:12,630 --> 00:26:14,320
That's amazing.
458
00:26:14,330 --> 00:26:16,599
How do you know the exact date?
459
00:26:18,220 --> 00:26:20,959
It was the day I was married.
460
00:26:20,960 --> 00:26:22,920
We're going to perform
some additional tests
461
00:26:22,929 --> 00:26:24,290
to confirm a match...
462
00:26:24,291 --> 00:26:26,211
... and get you into surgery
as soon as possible.
463
00:26:39,380 --> 00:26:40,819
Hello?
464
00:26:40,820 --> 00:26:44,279
♪ Hark! ♪
♪ The herald angels sing ♪
465
00:26:44,280 --> 00:26:48,269
♪ "Glory to the newborn King" ♪
466
00:26:48,270 --> 00:26:50,519
- ♪ Peace on Earth... ♪
- Mr. Pickles,
467
00:26:50,520 --> 00:26:52,100
this is Lovetenant Dale Nukem
468
00:26:52,110 --> 00:26:54,599
from the Austin, Texas,
chapter of the Pickles Platoon.
469
00:26:54,600 --> 00:26:56,849
We wanted to wish you
a happy holiday season
470
00:26:56,850 --> 00:26:58,759
and a festive New Year.
471
00:26:58,760 --> 00:27:00,840
Oh, my...
472
00:27:00,850 --> 00:27:03,409
what talent!
473
00:27:03,410 --> 00:27:04,599
And this is Noah.
474
00:27:04,600 --> 00:27:06,460
Noah earned the most
pickle points this year
475
00:27:06,470 --> 00:27:09,620
and gets to wish you a
happy holidays all by himself.
476
00:27:09,630 --> 00:27:12,459
Happy holidays, Mr. Pickles.
477
00:27:12,460 --> 00:27:15,299
Happy holidays, Noah.
478
00:27:15,300 --> 00:27:18,499
Have you been a good boy this year?
479
00:27:18,500 --> 00:27:21,310
Have you been a good boy this year?
480
00:27:23,350 --> 00:27:28,350
Subtitles by explosiveskull
Corrected by MementMori