1 00:00:04,890 --> 00:00:06,119 Previously on Kidding... 2 00:00:06,120 --> 00:00:07,919 Do you believe you could turn back time? 3 00:00:07,920 --> 00:00:08,929 That's absurd. 4 00:00:08,930 --> 00:00:10,093 I think we should fuck. 5 00:00:10,094 --> 00:00:12,929 I serve a higher moral authority: the children of Japan. 6 00:00:12,930 --> 00:00:15,473 - Stop! Stop! Stop! - Yes! Yes! 7 00:00:15,474 --> 00:00:17,100 Scott is entitled to half. 8 00:00:17,101 --> 00:00:18,560 What is divorce? 9 00:00:18,561 --> 00:00:20,436 Divorce is when a husband and a wife 10 00:00:20,437 --> 00:00:22,605 decide they don't want to be married to each other. 11 00:00:22,606 --> 00:00:23,900 See you at the bottom. 12 00:00:55,990 --> 00:00:59,018 Divorce is for the best. 13 00:01:44,240 --> 00:01:45,355 No! 14 00:01:45,356 --> 00:01:46,739 Please! Please, no! 15 00:01:56,700 --> 00:02:01,699 - Synced & corrected by MementMori - -- www.addic7ed.com -- 16 00:02:08,870 --> 00:02:11,460 You got divorced on national television 17 00:02:11,470 --> 00:02:14,399 before an audience of mostly children. 18 00:02:14,400 --> 00:02:18,190 Now, do you still think that was "for the best"? 19 00:02:20,030 --> 00:02:21,307 I do. 20 00:02:21,308 --> 00:02:24,029 Well, what about the critics who argue 21 00:02:24,030 --> 00:02:27,529 that you singlehandedly have broken up more homes 22 00:02:27,530 --> 00:02:30,400 than anyone in the whole of humanity? 23 00:02:30,401 --> 00:02:32,099 Homes don't break. 24 00:02:32,100 --> 00:02:34,919 They change, like people, 25 00:02:34,920 --> 00:02:36,823 which I truly believe is for the best. 26 00:02:36,824 --> 00:02:39,249 But what about what happened in the Philippines? 27 00:02:39,250 --> 00:02:40,320 Was that for the best? 28 00:02:40,327 --> 00:02:41,699 I'm sorry. 29 00:02:41,700 --> 00:02:42,869 What-what happened in the Philippines? 30 00:02:42,870 --> 00:02:45,039 You don't know what happened? 31 00:02:45,040 --> 00:02:46,860 Here. Here, here. 32 00:02:49,260 --> 00:02:51,559 No! Please! Please, no! 33 00:02:58,200 --> 00:02:59,929 I wasn't aware of this incident. 34 00:02:59,930 --> 00:03:03,350 But do you feel responsible for the death of Phil? 35 00:03:05,280 --> 00:03:06,409 What did you say? 36 00:03:06,410 --> 00:03:09,148 Excuse me one second. 37 00:03:11,800 --> 00:03:13,909 Do you feel responsible 38 00:03:13,910 --> 00:03:16,070 for the death of Filipino Pickles? 39 00:03:26,120 --> 00:03:28,319 They threw him off a roof. 40 00:03:30,820 --> 00:03:33,279 He landed on an ice cream vendor. 41 00:03:34,990 --> 00:03:37,909 Is the ice cream vendor okay? 42 00:03:37,910 --> 00:03:39,699 He may never walk again. 43 00:03:42,160 --> 00:03:44,909 So there's a chance he could walk again? 44 00:03:44,910 --> 00:03:46,319 No. 45 00:03:50,320 --> 00:03:51,719 Where's the funeral? 46 00:03:53,530 --> 00:03:55,499 There isn't one. 47 00:03:55,500 --> 00:03:58,019 Philippines won't let Ginoo Pickles' body 48 00:03:58,020 --> 00:03:59,989 be buried on their soil, so... 49 00:04:01,870 --> 00:04:05,119 ... they have to bury him at sea. 50 00:04:12,920 --> 00:04:14,529 Now you want my advice? 51 00:04:14,530 --> 00:04:15,919 A man is dead... 52 00:04:15,920 --> 00:04:16,964 a man I hired! 53 00:04:16,965 --> 00:04:19,199 I didn't say "advice." I said "read." I want your read. 54 00:04:19,200 --> 00:04:22,429 My read is, I was right about this listening doll, 55 00:04:22,430 --> 00:04:26,049 this death-threat-receiving machine. 56 00:04:26,050 --> 00:04:27,433 Do you want to send a message? 57 00:04:27,434 --> 00:04:29,259 No, I do not! 58 00:04:29,260 --> 00:04:30,687 Calm down. Have a seat. 59 00:04:30,688 --> 00:04:31,759 Where? 60 00:04:31,760 --> 00:04:35,316 There is nowhere to sit in this entire office. 61 00:04:35,317 --> 00:04:37,611 - Nowhere. - I thought I had one chair! 62 00:04:37,612 --> 00:04:39,540 No! No chair. 63 00:04:39,550 --> 00:04:41,949 And look at this mess. 64 00:04:43,180 --> 00:04:45,019 Do you want a new iPhone, 65 00:04:45,020 --> 00:04:47,286 but your money's all tied up in your home? 66 00:04:47,287 --> 00:04:49,372 Then you need a reverse mortgage. 67 00:04:49,373 --> 00:04:51,739 Trust me. It's not a scam. 68 00:04:51,740 --> 00:04:55,212 Unlocking the hidden equity in your home is Snaggle-rific. 69 00:04:55,213 --> 00:04:56,519 I'm Stacy Keach, 70 00:04:56,520 --> 00:04:58,679 and Snagglehorse is right. 71 00:04:58,680 --> 00:05:00,839 Together, we're gonna take you on a trail ride 72 00:05:00,840 --> 00:05:02,969 through the land of fiscal empowerment. 73 00:05:02,970 --> 00:05:04,720 Plus, it's just common sense 74 00:05:04,721 --> 00:05:06,279 that anything in reverse 75 00:05:06,280 --> 00:05:09,017 is always twice as fun as doing it the normal way. 76 00:05:11,120 --> 00:05:14,569 The whores have stolen the children, Deirdre, 77 00:05:14,570 --> 00:05:15,889 on your watch. 78 00:05:15,890 --> 00:05:17,608 Fili-Pickles is dead. 79 00:05:17,609 --> 00:05:19,489 And they're going to bury him at sea 80 00:05:19,490 --> 00:05:21,479 like some Pickle bin Laden. 81 00:05:21,480 --> 00:05:22,909 You want my advice? 82 00:05:22,910 --> 00:05:26,119 Do not let Jeff bury that man, 83 00:05:26,120 --> 00:05:29,369 and bring back my leather couch. 84 00:05:29,370 --> 00:05:30,997 How do you nap? 85 00:05:30,998 --> 00:05:33,833 I don't nap, Dad! 86 00:05:33,834 --> 00:05:36,752 And it's not my fault the Philippines 87 00:05:36,753 --> 00:05:40,459 enforce some militant brand of Catholicism. 88 00:05:40,460 --> 00:05:42,320 The divorce is on you, though. 89 00:05:42,330 --> 00:05:44,260 Not blaming, just saying. 90 00:05:44,261 --> 00:05:46,345 You do that a lot, you know. 91 00:05:46,346 --> 00:05:48,619 - What? - Mistake an opportunity 92 00:05:48,620 --> 00:05:50,989 to be a good father 93 00:05:50,990 --> 00:05:53,349 with an occasion to shame me. 94 00:05:53,350 --> 00:05:55,699 Every now and then, just so you know, 95 00:05:55,700 --> 00:05:58,029 I could use a thumbs-up from you, 96 00:05:58,030 --> 00:06:01,119 since we both know that "Good job, Dee Dee," 97 00:06:01,120 --> 00:06:02,609 is too hard to say. 98 00:06:02,610 --> 00:06:05,019 If you want to fix this, 99 00:06:05,020 --> 00:06:08,699 you have to think of Jeff as a child. 100 00:06:08,700 --> 00:06:11,199 You have to discourage him. 101 00:06:11,200 --> 00:06:12,456 It's fine. I know what to do. 102 00:06:19,338 --> 00:06:20,799 I told my daughter that Daddy and I 103 00:06:20,800 --> 00:06:22,199 were just getting a second house, 104 00:06:22,200 --> 00:06:24,239 but now she knows it's divorce. 105 00:06:24,240 --> 00:06:25,749 My mom broke up with my dad 106 00:06:25,750 --> 00:06:27,289 because of the song you sang. 107 00:06:27,290 --> 00:06:28,980 Wife waiting for me when I get home. 108 00:06:29,000 --> 00:06:31,490 Ambushes me, says Mr. Pickles is right. 109 00:06:31,500 --> 00:06:33,349 She took everything but this doll. 110 00:06:33,350 --> 00:06:35,019 You broke up my home, asshole. 111 00:06:35,020 --> 00:06:37,313 I'm gonna fuck you up so bad, Pickles. 112 00:06:48,940 --> 00:06:50,869 - Hi. - Hey, pal. 113 00:06:50,870 --> 00:06:52,439 I think I left my passport here. 114 00:06:52,440 --> 00:06:53,599 Ah! 115 00:06:53,600 --> 00:06:55,332 Finally going on vacation, huh? 116 00:06:56,410 --> 00:06:58,167 I have to bury a Filipino Pickle. 117 00:06:58,168 --> 00:07:00,860 Oh. Well, that's, um... 118 00:07:02,600 --> 00:07:04,660 I'm glad you're here. Uh, question. 119 00:07:05,600 --> 00:07:08,919 Would you ever coinvest in a breedable affenpinscher? 120 00:07:08,920 --> 00:07:11,999 They are reliable show dogs, 121 00:07:12,000 --> 00:07:15,851 loyal, curious, famously amusing. 122 00:07:15,852 --> 00:07:17,859 If that's an invite to trot the circuit, 123 00:07:17,860 --> 00:07:19,982 I feel a team forming. I support it. 124 00:07:21,030 --> 00:07:22,199 Hey, hey, second question, 125 00:07:22,200 --> 00:07:24,111 unrelated, equally important, 126 00:07:24,112 --> 00:07:26,119 if not more so. 127 00:07:26,120 --> 00:07:30,819 Uh, I'm taking Jill and Will to Hersheypark this weekend. 128 00:07:30,820 --> 00:07:33,989 'Cause I want to propose to Jill. 129 00:07:33,990 --> 00:07:35,270 What do you think about that? 130 00:07:39,120 --> 00:07:40,659 Um... 131 00:07:40,660 --> 00:07:43,819 I think... 132 00:07:43,820 --> 00:07:46,424 Does, uh, Will have to be there to witness it? 133 00:07:46,425 --> 00:07:49,135 I mean, I'd like him to be. 134 00:07:49,136 --> 00:07:50,619 Oh, sure. 135 00:07:55,200 --> 00:07:59,562 This hug is complicated but... 136 00:07:59,563 --> 00:08:01,231 - genuine. - Thank you, man. 137 00:08:01,232 --> 00:08:04,442 Hey, I loved the divorce episode. 138 00:08:04,443 --> 00:08:06,019 Thanks. 139 00:08:06,020 --> 00:08:07,979 I think it's what killed the Filipino guy. 140 00:08:07,980 --> 00:08:09,800 Mm. Can't win 'em all. 141 00:08:11,160 --> 00:08:13,410 Liver brothers forever! 142 00:08:22,160 --> 00:08:24,295 Hersheypark this weekend, huh? 143 00:08:28,450 --> 00:08:29,675 I need to get my passport. 144 00:08:29,676 --> 00:08:33,679 Hey, are you and Peter investing in a show hound? 145 00:08:33,680 --> 00:08:35,659 He has his heart set on an affenpinscher. 146 00:08:35,660 --> 00:08:37,139 But little does he know 147 00:08:37,140 --> 00:08:39,059 that I have my hand on the tail 148 00:08:39,060 --> 00:08:40,889 of a horse-haired schnauzer named Wunderbar. 149 00:08:40,890 --> 00:08:43,179 Big, thick whiskers 150 00:08:43,180 --> 00:08:44,949 and a scrotum you could wind your watch to. 151 00:08:44,950 --> 00:08:47,069 You have a gift, you know? 152 00:08:47,070 --> 00:08:48,489 You tried to manslaughter him, 153 00:08:48,490 --> 00:08:50,197 and now you're going halfsies on a schnauzer. 154 00:08:50,198 --> 00:08:51,519 I mean, to be fair, 155 00:08:51,520 --> 00:08:55,699 we haven't committed totally to a breed. 156 00:08:55,700 --> 00:08:57,400 Great guy, Peter. 157 00:08:58,990 --> 00:09:00,290 I like him. 158 00:09:01,917 --> 00:09:04,319 Enjoy the chocolate park. 159 00:09:04,320 --> 00:09:05,569 I don't know if I can go. 160 00:09:05,570 --> 00:09:07,219 I'm supposed to work a Sunday shift. 161 00:09:07,220 --> 00:09:10,716 Oh, no, no, no. You should take the time off. 162 00:09:10,717 --> 00:09:12,594 No one ever regrets a vacation. 163 00:09:13,500 --> 00:09:15,470 Passports are in that thing in the closet. 164 00:09:16,680 --> 00:09:18,359 Wait, you know what? 165 00:09:18,360 --> 00:09:21,144 I'll just grab 'em. The-the closet's a mess. 166 00:09:27,270 --> 00:09:29,149 - Everything okay? - Yep! 167 00:09:29,150 --> 00:09:30,780 They are right here. 168 00:09:34,650 --> 00:09:36,279 Not gonna ask me where I'm going? 169 00:09:36,280 --> 00:09:38,279 Jill, can you spot me on the ladder? 170 00:09:38,280 --> 00:09:39,489 Hopefully somewhere relaxing. 171 00:09:44,160 --> 00:09:45,251 Sorry. 172 00:09:45,252 --> 00:09:46,949 When my parents are upset, 173 00:09:46,950 --> 00:09:49,159 they only speak Tagalog. 174 00:09:49,160 --> 00:09:51,369 What were they yelling about? 175 00:09:51,370 --> 00:09:53,159 I guess your dad killed a guy? 176 00:09:53,160 --> 00:09:54,301 Hmm? 177 00:09:54,302 --> 00:09:56,263 Ooh, Will! Win me some Skitties! 178 00:09:57,490 --> 00:09:59,473 Yeah, Will, win her some Skitties. 179 00:09:59,474 --> 00:10:01,159 No, I'm okay. 180 00:10:01,160 --> 00:10:02,429 I don't want this. 181 00:10:02,430 --> 00:10:04,353 They're Skittles, not Skitties. 182 00:10:04,354 --> 00:10:05,563 My sorrys. 183 00:10:05,564 --> 00:10:06,730 Your what? 184 00:10:06,731 --> 00:10:08,732 If you guess how many are in the "vahse"... 185 00:10:08,733 --> 00:10:10,569 - "Vayse." - ... we get all the Skitties. 186 00:10:10,570 --> 00:10:12,320 Why do you want these? 187 00:10:13,660 --> 00:10:15,909 Hmm. 188 00:10:15,910 --> 00:10:18,419 I'm gonna say... 189 00:10:18,420 --> 00:10:22,079 if one Skittie occupies a full cubic centimeter 190 00:10:22,080 --> 00:10:24,949 and the volume of your Skittie container 191 00:10:24,950 --> 00:10:27,418 equals pi times the radius times the height... 192 00:10:27,419 --> 00:10:29,670 6,765. 193 00:10:29,671 --> 00:10:33,549 6,765 Skittles. 194 00:10:33,550 --> 00:10:34,779 Just write that down. 195 00:10:34,780 --> 00:10:36,119 Enjoy. 196 00:10:36,120 --> 00:10:37,804 Taste the motherfucking rainbow. 197 00:10:39,120 --> 00:10:40,449 Wait. 198 00:10:40,450 --> 00:10:42,719 Are you sure that's the number? 199 00:10:42,720 --> 00:10:43,852 Fuck you, Will. 200 00:10:44,770 --> 00:10:45,895 Fuck you, Cassidy. 201 00:10:50,150 --> 00:10:51,651 I think I'm magic. 202 00:10:53,160 --> 00:10:54,869 Go on. 203 00:10:54,870 --> 00:10:57,379 So you know that old library book I got 204 00:10:57,380 --> 00:10:59,679 on math and mysticism and the universe? 205 00:10:59,680 --> 00:11:03,489 Well, when I saw my mom hand my dad the divorce papers, 206 00:11:03,490 --> 00:11:06,041 I, uh-I read about how to turn back time 207 00:11:06,042 --> 00:11:07,708 so they'd get back together. 208 00:11:07,709 --> 00:11:09,502 Uh, are you guys drinking drugs? 209 00:11:09,503 --> 00:11:11,279 We're having high tea. 210 00:11:11,280 --> 00:11:12,796 Long live the queen. 211 00:11:12,797 --> 00:11:14,840 I think what I did is really working. 212 00:11:14,841 --> 00:11:17,449 This is a beautiful effort on your part, 213 00:11:17,450 --> 00:11:20,179 but your dad got divorced on national TV. 214 00:11:21,450 --> 00:11:22,819 That doesn't matter. 215 00:11:22,820 --> 00:11:25,434 My parents are still technically single. 216 00:11:25,435 --> 00:11:27,478 I know it's hard to accept, bud, but... 217 00:11:27,479 --> 00:11:29,355 10946. 218 00:11:29,356 --> 00:11:32,029 That was the address of the kid who had Phil's eyes. 219 00:11:32,030 --> 00:11:35,889 6,765 was the number of Skittles in the vase. 220 00:11:35,890 --> 00:11:38,159 This can't just be a coincidence. 221 00:11:38,160 --> 00:11:39,989 This is the universe talking. 222 00:11:39,990 --> 00:11:42,239 No, this is coincidence. 223 00:11:42,240 --> 00:11:44,995 Plus, those dates are going forward in time, 224 00:11:44,996 --> 00:11:46,169 not backwards. 225 00:11:46,170 --> 00:11:47,959 If you're looking for a sign from God, 226 00:11:47,960 --> 00:11:49,659 those numbers would need to indicate 227 00:11:49,660 --> 00:11:51,377 reverse temporal momentum. 228 00:11:51,378 --> 00:11:52,545 I disagree. 229 00:12:06,680 --> 00:12:08,939 See, the numbers do go down 230 00:12:08,940 --> 00:12:11,739 when you treat them as numbers, not dates. 231 00:12:11,740 --> 00:12:14,108 I'm confident Will is turning back time. 232 00:12:14,109 --> 00:12:15,943 Please, explain more. 233 00:12:15,944 --> 00:12:17,819 These numbers, fellow dudes, 234 00:12:17,820 --> 00:12:19,529 are a Fibonacci sequence. 235 00:12:19,530 --> 00:12:20,999 What's that? 236 00:12:21,000 --> 00:12:23,779 Fibonacci numbers are the magic numbers in nature 237 00:12:23,780 --> 00:12:25,639 that determine the order of everything, 238 00:12:25,640 --> 00:12:29,299 from flower petals to stripes on a tiger. 239 00:12:29,300 --> 00:12:30,541 They're God's numbers. 240 00:12:30,542 --> 00:12:34,044 And they're counting backwards. 241 00:12:34,045 --> 00:12:37,007 I mean, you asked God to turn back time. 242 00:12:40,030 --> 00:12:41,593 This is the countdown. 243 00:12:43,000 --> 00:12:44,264 You hacked space and time. 244 00:12:44,265 --> 00:12:46,439 - Whoa. - Uh, Will? 245 00:12:46,440 --> 00:12:47,809 Your dad is here to pick you up. 246 00:12:47,810 --> 00:12:49,069 It's working. 247 00:12:49,070 --> 00:12:50,895 He picks me up all the time. 248 00:12:50,896 --> 00:12:53,439 Will, we gotta go. 249 00:12:53,440 --> 00:12:54,689 We gotta catch a plane. 250 00:12:54,690 --> 00:12:56,191 Where are we going? 251 00:12:56,192 --> 00:12:58,111 The middle of the South China Sea. 252 00:13:15,950 --> 00:13:17,900 Mom's wondering where I am. 253 00:13:19,870 --> 00:13:21,610 Tell her the truth. 254 00:13:27,410 --> 00:13:29,180 You have a pretty cool job. 255 00:13:32,400 --> 00:13:36,110 You know, one day, this could be your pretty cool job. 256 00:13:37,030 --> 00:13:38,449 What do you mean? 257 00:13:38,450 --> 00:13:41,290 I've handpicked three of the kindest, 258 00:13:41,300 --> 00:13:44,069 most selfless people from all over the world, 259 00:13:44,070 --> 00:13:46,110 including Herr Gherkin von Deutschland back there... 260 00:13:49,240 --> 00:13:52,619 ... to protect and nourish the world's children. 261 00:13:52,620 --> 00:13:54,583 Pickles are men and women 262 00:13:54,584 --> 00:13:57,119 selected for their high moral caliber, 263 00:13:57,120 --> 00:13:58,949 a parliament of the righteous 264 00:13:58,950 --> 00:14:01,159 who don't drink, use drugs, 265 00:14:01,160 --> 00:14:03,599 invoke bad or discouraging language, 266 00:14:03,600 --> 00:14:05,009 and they don't have sex 267 00:14:05,010 --> 00:14:06,513 unless they're in a loving relationship. 268 00:14:06,514 --> 00:14:08,339 Like priests? 269 00:14:08,340 --> 00:14:09,579 Yeah. 270 00:14:09,580 --> 00:14:11,393 But for children. 271 00:14:12,990 --> 00:14:15,145 I see that same goodness in you. 272 00:14:15,146 --> 00:14:18,316 I see that potential to shape the world. 273 00:14:19,620 --> 00:14:20,900 Thanks. 274 00:14:20,902 --> 00:14:22,989 No matter what happens with your mom and I, 275 00:14:22,990 --> 00:14:24,909 I'll always be your father. 276 00:14:24,910 --> 00:14:27,409 And you'll always be both 277 00:14:27,410 --> 00:14:29,077 a Piccirillo... 278 00:14:30,620 --> 00:14:32,739 ... and, if you want... 279 00:14:32,740 --> 00:14:33,914 a Pickles. 280 00:14:33,915 --> 00:14:35,900 We are a family. 281 00:14:37,620 --> 00:14:39,500 Welcome to that family. 282 00:14:43,200 --> 00:14:45,369 Can Pickles do magic tricks? 283 00:14:45,370 --> 00:14:47,449 You can be the first. 284 00:14:47,450 --> 00:14:48,846 Want me to tie that? 285 00:14:48,847 --> 00:14:49,940 I know how. 286 00:14:55,370 --> 00:14:57,730 Is that the crew from 60 Minutes? 287 00:15:00,070 --> 00:15:01,399 They've seen him at his worst. 288 00:15:01,400 --> 00:15:02,860 They should see him at his best. 289 00:15:04,660 --> 00:15:07,159 I'm sorry for what I said earlier. 290 00:15:07,160 --> 00:15:09,951 You're doing a better job than I expected you to. 291 00:15:11,030 --> 00:15:12,704 Why do you have to qualify that? 292 00:16:05,320 --> 00:16:07,150 See you at the bottom. 293 00:16:14,410 --> 00:16:17,219 We offer this prayer for our dear loved one, 294 00:16:17,220 --> 00:16:18,390 Ginoo Pickles, 295 00:16:18,394 --> 00:16:23,069 who has left this world and is returning to you. 296 00:16:32,620 --> 00:16:36,859 As we commit this man to the sea, 297 00:16:36,860 --> 00:16:39,790 the water will fill the barrel's bunghole... 298 00:16:39,791 --> 00:16:42,439 Yes, that's really what it's called. 299 00:16:42,440 --> 00:16:45,569 ... and slowly sink our beloved friend 300 00:16:45,570 --> 00:16:47,409 to his final resting place 301 00:16:47,410 --> 00:16:51,030 on the floor of the sanctuary of the sea. 302 00:17:16,570 --> 00:17:18,719 A devoted husband, father... 303 00:17:18,720 --> 00:17:21,119 Traitor. 304 00:17:21,120 --> 00:17:22,619 A devoted father... 305 00:17:22,620 --> 00:17:24,059 Murderer. 306 00:17:24,060 --> 00:17:25,919 ... and husband 307 00:17:25,920 --> 00:17:27,629 who acknowledged, by the actions that he took... 308 00:17:27,630 --> 00:17:28,859 Uh-oh. 309 00:17:28,860 --> 00:17:30,239 What? 310 00:17:30,240 --> 00:17:31,842 I'll meet you in the life raft. 311 00:17:31,843 --> 00:17:34,489 We have to get up every day 312 00:17:34,490 --> 00:17:35,596 and take a leap of faith. 313 00:17:35,597 --> 00:17:38,009 Leap? He was thrown off a roof! 314 00:17:38,010 --> 00:17:39,766 Señor Pepinillo, please. 315 00:17:39,767 --> 00:17:42,119 We are contractually obligated to repeat what you say. 316 00:17:42,120 --> 00:17:44,271 When you speak, you are speaking for all of us. 317 00:17:44,272 --> 00:17:46,779 Will you not stop until you get all of us killed? 318 00:17:46,780 --> 00:17:47,899 That's right! 319 00:17:47,900 --> 00:17:49,989 Smorgas Gurka, that's not true. 320 00:17:49,990 --> 00:17:51,470 And you don't have to honk like that. 321 00:17:53,150 --> 00:17:56,519 You don't mean that... Chinese Pickles. 322 00:17:56,520 --> 00:17:58,785 Uh, uh... I'm sorry. I forgot your name. 323 00:17:58,786 --> 00:18:01,619 His sister touched my brother's penis! 324 00:18:03,124 --> 00:18:04,819 Now he is missing. 325 00:18:04,820 --> 00:18:07,294 I don't even know if he is alive. 326 00:18:07,295 --> 00:18:08,754 What? No, I-I... 327 00:18:10,030 --> 00:18:11,381 All right, who did that? 328 00:18:11,382 --> 00:18:13,635 Who threw that? Who threw that? 329 00:18:16,280 --> 00:18:18,764 We all have to take a "calm me down" breath. 330 00:18:18,765 --> 00:18:20,932 How about a "go fuck yourself" breath? 331 00:18:22,800 --> 00:18:23,820 Stop! 332 00:18:23,830 --> 00:18:24,936 Stop! 333 00:18:24,937 --> 00:18:27,069 Stop it! 334 00:18:33,363 --> 00:18:35,029 Shut up, kid. 335 00:18:35,030 --> 00:18:36,531 This is not who we are. 336 00:18:36,532 --> 00:18:38,075 This is not who we are! 337 00:18:39,080 --> 00:18:40,359 If you are not a Pickle, 338 00:18:40,360 --> 00:18:42,819 then I am not a Pickle. 339 00:18:46,959 --> 00:18:49,169 Señor Pepinillo, por favor, no. 340 00:18:49,170 --> 00:18:50,709 Sí. 341 00:18:58,820 --> 00:19:00,430 Coward. 342 00:19:03,726 --> 00:19:05,030 Dad! 343 00:19:06,187 --> 00:19:07,647 - What do we do? - Look! 344 00:19:07,648 --> 00:19:10,565 I found a crate of vodka! 345 00:19:10,566 --> 00:19:11,949 Didn't you hear? 346 00:19:11,950 --> 00:19:13,149 Their god is dead, 347 00:19:13,150 --> 00:19:14,160 priests are thirsty, 348 00:19:14,170 --> 00:19:16,909 and this ship is about to dock in Gomorrah. 349 00:19:16,910 --> 00:19:18,739 No one can help us now. 350 00:19:21,410 --> 00:19:24,037 Vodka for everyone! 351 00:19:24,038 --> 00:19:25,914 No. No. 352 00:19:35,007 --> 00:19:37,217 I'm sorry I brought you on this trip. 353 00:19:37,218 --> 00:19:38,969 I'm not. 354 00:19:40,240 --> 00:19:42,223 I think I finally killed somebody. 355 00:19:43,030 --> 00:19:44,319 No. 356 00:19:44,320 --> 00:19:46,059 You didn't do anything wrong. 357 00:19:46,060 --> 00:19:47,849 You told the truth, 358 00:19:47,850 --> 00:19:50,949 in song with puppets. 359 00:19:50,950 --> 00:19:52,399 Gravity killed him. 360 00:19:52,400 --> 00:19:53,818 Thanks for saying that. 361 00:20:04,860 --> 00:20:07,699 Dad, I know how this is going to sound, but... 362 00:20:07,700 --> 00:20:09,449 it's going to be okay. 363 00:20:09,450 --> 00:20:11,659 All of it. 364 00:20:11,660 --> 00:20:14,659 I think I know how I can put everything back the way it was. 365 00:20:14,660 --> 00:20:17,080 - Mom's getting remarried. - What? 366 00:20:18,120 --> 00:20:19,909 Peter is gonna propose. 367 00:20:19,910 --> 00:20:23,139 Actually, it's probably happening right now. 368 00:20:29,145 --> 00:20:30,854 No! 369 00:20:30,855 --> 00:20:33,699 Who wants to see a magic trick? 370 00:20:33,700 --> 00:20:39,119 I will now make this can of beer disappear. 371 00:20:41,157 --> 00:20:42,319 No! 372 00:20:42,320 --> 00:20:43,859 No, no! No! 373 00:20:43,860 --> 00:20:46,109 Inappropriate. Hey! 374 00:20:46,110 --> 00:20:47,454 No. No drinking. 375 00:20:52,410 --> 00:20:54,920 Look out below! 376 00:20:54,921 --> 00:20:57,029 Ah! 377 00:20:57,030 --> 00:20:58,139 Pardonnez-moi. 378 00:20:58,140 --> 00:20:59,999 Peanuts do not go to space, Deirdre. 379 00:21:00,000 --> 00:21:02,674 - They are legumes. - Oi, and Guitar Gary 380 00:21:02,675 --> 00:21:04,680 will never possess the boundless joy 381 00:21:04,690 --> 00:21:07,849 nor the rough-and-tumble wit of Ukulele Larry. 382 00:21:07,850 --> 00:21:09,369 We had to adapt. 383 00:21:09,370 --> 00:21:10,939 There was not a lot we could do, 384 00:21:10,940 --> 00:21:12,369 given the time constraints 385 00:21:12,370 --> 00:21:14,272 of a global production schedule. 386 00:21:14,273 --> 00:21:16,659 Is called a prenup. It is not rocket science. 387 00:21:16,660 --> 00:21:18,119 And if it was rocket science, 388 00:21:18,120 --> 00:21:19,820 it would not be performed by a legume! 389 00:21:19,821 --> 00:21:23,159 Legumes can perform all sorts of tasks! 390 00:21:23,160 --> 00:21:25,339 Maybe if you had performed a few more tasks, 391 00:21:25,340 --> 00:21:26,820 your husband would not have left you. 392 00:21:28,570 --> 00:21:29,949 Is this glue? 393 00:21:29,950 --> 00:21:31,248 Are you gluing again? 394 00:21:31,249 --> 00:21:32,582 It's sunscreen. 395 00:21:32,583 --> 00:21:34,959 So the rumors are true. She glues. 396 00:21:34,960 --> 00:21:36,199 We are a giraffe! 397 00:21:36,200 --> 00:21:38,588 Fuck all of you! 398 00:21:40,570 --> 00:21:42,119 Fuck you! 399 00:21:47,530 --> 00:21:48,765 Is this waterproof? 400 00:21:48,766 --> 00:21:50,739 Uh, I don't know. 401 00:21:50,740 --> 00:21:52,269 - Hmm. - That's a good question. 402 00:21:52,270 --> 00:21:53,896 Let me see. 403 00:21:58,530 --> 00:22:00,235 Anything else? 404 00:22:01,650 --> 00:22:03,280 Ugh. 405 00:22:03,281 --> 00:22:04,532 No. 406 00:22:05,570 --> 00:22:06,700 You're very cute. 407 00:22:06,701 --> 00:22:08,119 Thank you. 408 00:22:08,120 --> 00:22:09,911 I find you attractive as well. 409 00:22:09,912 --> 00:22:12,032 I'm sorry to hear about what happened to your brother. 410 00:22:12,950 --> 00:22:15,739 We were close. I miss him. 411 00:22:15,740 --> 00:22:18,239 He could puppet a horse with his genitals. 412 00:22:18,240 --> 00:22:20,779 Maybe, uh, one day you, too, 413 00:22:20,780 --> 00:22:22,424 could puppet a horse with your genitals. 414 00:22:22,425 --> 00:22:24,069 No, not me. 415 00:22:24,070 --> 00:22:26,279 I didn't even want this job. 416 00:22:26,280 --> 00:22:28,309 But the Japanese Pickle Code 417 00:22:28,310 --> 00:22:31,319 is a byzantine web of obligation. 418 00:22:31,320 --> 00:22:32,852 If a Pickles-san goes missing, 419 00:22:32,853 --> 00:22:36,659 the next of kin must assume the role. 420 00:22:36,660 --> 00:22:39,567 They dragged me out of bed and put the tie on me! 421 00:22:40,660 --> 00:22:42,989 Is it true that all Pickles-sans 422 00:22:42,990 --> 00:22:44,822 have to take a vow of chastity? 423 00:22:44,823 --> 00:22:47,239 I took a vow of chastity? 424 00:22:47,240 --> 00:22:51,899 You know, my first time in a vessel like this, 425 00:22:51,900 --> 00:22:55,819 we rescued 2,000 children off the coast of Saigon. 426 00:22:55,820 --> 00:22:57,876 Ooh. A navy man. 427 00:22:57,877 --> 00:23:00,239 Sebastiano Piccirillo. 428 00:23:00,240 --> 00:23:01,849 I know we've met, 429 00:23:01,850 --> 00:23:05,426 but I like to watch my name travel up a woman's spine. 430 00:23:05,427 --> 00:23:09,299 I'm sorry, but we were having a flirtatious conversation. 431 00:23:09,300 --> 00:23:12,449 These hands once pushed a helicopter into the sea. 432 00:23:12,450 --> 00:23:15,240 Imagine what they can do to a female body. 433 00:23:17,410 --> 00:23:20,159 My name is Pickles-san. 434 00:23:20,160 --> 00:23:22,619 You touched my brother's penis. 435 00:23:22,620 --> 00:23:24,069 Prepare to die. 436 00:23:25,196 --> 00:23:27,449 He did not give you consent! 437 00:23:27,450 --> 00:23:28,779 He wanted it! 438 00:23:28,780 --> 00:23:29,989 When are they getting married? 439 00:23:29,990 --> 00:23:32,160 I don't know. I don't know. 440 00:23:32,161 --> 00:23:34,663 So there's a chance you and mom can still work things out? 441 00:23:34,664 --> 00:23:36,164 No, that was never part of the plan. 442 00:23:36,165 --> 00:23:37,749 You two still love each other. 443 00:23:37,750 --> 00:23:41,059 - I signed the papers. - Those are just papers. 444 00:23:41,060 --> 00:23:43,672 If she marries someone else, it's really over. 445 00:23:43,673 --> 00:23:45,507 It's really been over for a while. 446 00:23:45,508 --> 00:23:47,425 Because you didn't try hard enough. 447 00:23:47,426 --> 00:23:49,844 You should have been trying to win her back. 448 00:23:49,845 --> 00:23:52,180 You should have been trying to keep this family together. 449 00:23:52,181 --> 00:23:54,539 - I tried. - I don't want you to try. 450 00:23:54,540 --> 00:23:56,369 I want you to fight! 451 00:23:56,370 --> 00:23:57,643 Hit him with your car again. 452 00:23:57,644 --> 00:23:59,999 - No, you don't want that. - Get away from me! 453 00:24:00,000 --> 00:24:01,020 Will! 454 00:24:01,023 --> 00:24:02,659 - It was all working! - Will. 455 00:24:02,660 --> 00:24:04,986 - Until today, it was all working. - Will. 456 00:24:13,536 --> 00:24:15,199 You raped my brother! 457 00:24:15,200 --> 00:24:16,619 He was a good man! 458 00:24:16,620 --> 00:24:18,820 He did not give you consent! 459 00:24:19,290 --> 00:24:20,760 Dad. 460 00:24:20,770 --> 00:24:21,835 - Dad, are you in there? - Answer me. 461 00:24:21,836 --> 00:24:23,712 - Dad! - Are you the Yakuza? 462 00:24:23,713 --> 00:24:24,838 Answer me! 463 00:24:24,839 --> 00:24:26,965 Are you the Yakuza? 464 00:24:37,200 --> 00:24:39,645 Smorgas Gurka? 465 00:24:45,200 --> 00:24:47,720 Sucky-sucky boat-boat. 466 00:24:58,289 --> 00:24:59,831 What's wrong? 467 00:24:59,832 --> 00:25:02,960 She raped my brother and ruined my life. 468 00:25:08,200 --> 00:25:09,507 What did you say? 469 00:25:09,508 --> 00:25:11,343 Nothing. 470 00:25:21,940 --> 00:25:24,319 Pull! 471 00:25:24,320 --> 00:25:26,869 Get away from me. 472 00:25:26,870 --> 00:25:29,369 - No, please! - Murderer! 473 00:25:29,370 --> 00:25:31,739 Murderer! Murderer! 474 00:25:31,740 --> 00:25:34,149 Murderer! Murderer! 475 00:25:34,150 --> 00:25:37,279 Murderer! Murderer! Murderer! 476 00:25:37,280 --> 00:25:39,329 Murderer! Murderer! 477 00:25:39,330 --> 00:25:42,874 Murderer! Murderer! Murderer! 478 00:25:47,463 --> 00:25:49,839 Murderer! Murderer! 479 00:25:49,840 --> 00:25:52,859 Murderer! Murderer! Murderer! 480 00:25:52,860 --> 00:25:54,886 You killed the magic! 481 00:26:29,290 --> 00:26:34,290 - Synced & corrected by MementMori - -- www.addic7ed.com --