1
00:00:08,541 --> 00:00:12,245
♪ When I came back
from Luang Prabang ♪

2
00:00:12,345 --> 00:00:16,316
♪ I didn't have a thing ♪
where my balls used to hang ♪

3
00:00:16,383 --> 00:00:19,586
♪ But I got a wooden medal ♪
and a fine harangue ♪

4
00:00:19,686 --> 00:00:22,922
♪ Now I'm a fucking hero ♪

5
00:00:23,023 --> 00:00:25,158
♪ Mourn your dead
land of the free ♪

6
00:00:25,225 --> 00:00:29,429
♪ You wanna be a
hero, follow me ♪

7
00:00:29,529 --> 00:00:32,599
♪ Mourn your dead
land of the free ♪

8
00:00:32,699 --> 00:00:34,701
♪ You wanna be a
hero, follow me ♪

9
00:00:34,768 --> 00:00:38,938
♪ And now the boys all envy me ♪

10
00:00:39,039 --> 00:00:42,075
♪ I fought for
Christian democracy ♪

11
00:00:42,175 --> 00:00:45,345
♪ With nothing but air ♪
where my balls used to be ♪

12
00:00:45,412 --> 00:00:48,448
♪ Now I'm a fucking hero ♪

13
00:00:48,548 --> 00:00:51,551
♪ Mourn your dead
land of the free ♪

14
00:00:51,618 --> 00:00:54,854
♪ You wanna be a
hero, follow me ♪

15
00:00:54,921 --> 00:00:57,791
♪ Mourn your dead
land of the free ♪

16
00:00:57,891 --> 00:01:00,693
♪ You wanna be a
hero, follow me ♪

17
00:01:00,760 --> 00:01:03,263
♪ When one and twenty
cannon thunder ♪

18
00:01:03,363 --> 00:01:06,766
♪ Into the bloody
wild blue yonder ♪

19
00:01:06,866 --> 00:01:10,036
♪ For a patriotic
ball-less wonder ♪

20
00:01:10,103 --> 00:01:13,139
♪ Now I'm a fucking hero ♪

21
00:01:13,239 --> 00:01:16,042
♪ Mourn your dead
land of the free ♪

22
00:01:16,109 --> 00:01:19,312
♪ If you wanna be
a hero, follow me ♪

23
00:01:19,412 --> 00:01:21,214
♪ Mourn your dead
land of the free ♪

24
00:01:21,281 --> 00:01:25,218
♪ You wanna be a
hero, follow me ♪

25
00:01:25,285 --> 00:01:28,054
♪ In Luang Prabang
there is a spot ♪

26
00:01:28,121 --> 00:01:31,591
♪ Where the corpses
of your brothers rot ♪

27
00:01:31,658 --> 00:01:34,661
♪ And every corpse
is a patriot ♪

28
00:01:34,761 --> 00:01:37,730
♪ Every corpse is a hero ♪

29
00:01:37,797 --> 00:01:40,500
♪ Mourn your dead
land of the free ♪

30
00:01:40,600 --> 00:01:43,970
♪ If you wanna be
a hero, follow me ♪

31
00:01:44,070 --> 00:01:45,972
♪ Mourn your dead
land of the free ♪

32
00:01:46,072 --> 00:01:49,175
♪ If you wanna be
a hero, follow me ♪

33
00:01:49,275 --> 00:01:52,645
♪ Mourn your dead
land of the free ♪

34
00:01:52,745 --> 00:01:55,081
♪ If you wanna be
a hero, follow me ♪

35
00:01:55,148 --> 00:01:58,852
♪ Mourn your dead
land of the free ♪

36
00:01:58,952 --> 00:02:01,087
♪ You wanna be a
hero, follow me ♪

37
00:02:03,957 --> 00:02:07,794
<i>Ladies and Gentlemen...
The next I train...</i>

38
00:03:07,587 --> 00:03:08,587
Hey man, it's Eli.

39
00:03:10,657 --> 00:03:14,160
Uh, look, we... we heard about
Timothy and I'm really sorry.

40
00:03:15,862 --> 00:03:18,565
I know you probably don't want to
hear much of anything right now

41
00:03:18,665 --> 00:03:19,665
We're here for you, man.

42
00:03:19,699 --> 00:03:22,835
We're at the studio,
don't disappear on us.

43
00:03:34,681 --> 00:03:37,283
It means that poverty
is a new slavery.

44
00:03:37,383 --> 00:03:38,084
It means that the new Jim Crow

45
00:03:38,184 --> 00:03:42,455
is an intense form of slavery.

46
00:03:42,555 --> 00:03:47,560
It means that working people
locked into a declining economy

47
00:03:48,895 --> 00:03:52,298
in which wages stagnate,
prices escalate,

48
00:03:52,398 --> 00:03:54,634
and profits go, hit the top,

49
00:03:54,734 --> 00:03:56,402
is also a form of slavery,

50
00:03:56,469 --> 00:03:58,471
metaphorically and
literally speaking.

51
00:03:58,571 --> 00:04:00,549
Now, climate change for me,
is a very serious issue.

52
00:04:00,573 --> 00:04:03,443
I don't think it's going
to be the catalytic issue.

53
00:04:03,543 --> 00:04:07,247
I think it's either going to
be revolutionary transformation

54
00:04:07,313 --> 00:04:09,415
that allows us to
get some control

55
00:04:09,482 --> 00:04:10,950
over banks and corporations,

56
00:04:11,050 --> 00:04:13,286
so we can treat nature as a
"thou" rather than an "it,"

57
00:04:13,386 --> 00:04:16,990
but when I hear a lot of
discourse on climate change,

58
00:04:17,090 --> 00:04:18,891
I hear people
thinking, "Oh my God,

59
00:04:18,958 --> 00:04:20,827
my life is going to
be like a wasteland."

60
00:04:20,927 --> 00:04:25,098
Well, you know, for poor people,
it's a wasteland everyday.

61
00:04:50,290 --> 00:04:52,158
How y'all doing?
I'm Will, and uh...

62
00:04:52,258 --> 00:04:54,694
I want to share a poem
by a good friend of mine,

63
00:04:54,794 --> 00:04:57,830
Jan Barry, he served in Vietnam.

64
00:04:57,930 --> 00:04:59,832
How big would the
War Memorial wall be

65
00:05:01,467 --> 00:05:04,037
if it listed all the names of
soldiers who died of suicide?

66
00:05:04,137 --> 00:05:05,772
Abel Baker Charlie,

67
00:05:07,307 --> 00:05:10,109
Jacob David George, three
tours in Afghanistan,

68
00:05:11,878 --> 00:05:13,212
Jeffrey Lucey.

69
00:05:14,781 --> 00:05:18,384
I dunno how long, looking
out the glass door at this car,

70
00:05:18,484 --> 00:05:21,454
'cause I was convinced
that somebody was coming,

71
00:05:21,521 --> 00:05:22,355
maybe not for me specifically,

72
00:05:22,455 --> 00:05:25,224
but like they, they
picked my house

73
00:05:25,325 --> 00:05:27,694
and they were coming
into my fucking house.

74
00:05:27,794 --> 00:05:29,505
I'm crouched in my kitchen at
two a.m. holding a handgun,

75
00:05:29,529 --> 00:05:32,198
'cause there's a car
parked across the street.

76
00:05:32,298 --> 00:05:33,900
Like what the fuck am I doing?

77
00:05:34,000 --> 00:05:35,868
I wasn't in my body.

78
00:05:35,968 --> 00:05:37,904
I was...

79
00:05:38,004 --> 00:05:39,405
I don't know where I was.

80
00:07:03,990 --> 00:07:04,990
Did they?

81
00:07:08,227 --> 00:07:09,762
Really?

82
00:07:09,829 --> 00:07:12,098
Fuck kinda
organization is that?

83
00:07:12,165 --> 00:07:13,165
- Well...
- Yeah.

84
00:07:14,600 --> 00:07:16,002
Okay

85
00:07:16,102 --> 00:07:17,403
What were the numbers?

86
00:07:17,470 --> 00:07:20,006
Operation Truth,
you remember that?

87
00:07:20,106 --> 00:07:22,141
- Well, I'm gonna go back in...
- Alright...

88
00:07:22,241 --> 00:07:24,977
- Need a hand?
- Yeah.

89
00:07:25,077 --> 00:07:29,182
In 1969 and '70, in Okinawa,

90
00:07:30,249 --> 00:07:33,786
There was a, like a
GI, uh, concert hall

91
00:07:33,853 --> 00:07:36,522
that they called themselves
The Filmore West.

92
00:07:36,622 --> 00:07:40,359
Yeah I mean you could get it, but it was real
expensive 'cause it was not home grown...

93
00:07:40,460 --> 00:07:43,429
Like opium, hashish
and all that...

94
00:07:47,266 --> 00:07:52,438
This really wild beach, where you had to
wade across this lagoon, to get to it...

95
00:07:55,508 --> 00:07:59,979
climb around on these hills,
and there were these caves...

96
00:08:00,046 --> 00:08:03,850
find these like
porcelain boxes...

97
00:08:03,950 --> 00:08:06,719
on what look like
dragon-claw feet

98
00:08:06,819 --> 00:08:08,888
and when you open it up

99
00:08:08,988 --> 00:08:11,624
inside was a human skeleton...

100
00:08:12,325 --> 00:08:14,126
What's up?

101
00:08:14,193 --> 00:08:16,329
Hey, how's it going?

102
00:08:16,395 --> 00:08:17,555
You're here for the workshop?

103
00:08:17,630 --> 00:08:20,233
- Yeah.
- Right on, my name's Eli.

104
00:08:20,333 --> 00:08:21,333
Isabelle.

105
00:08:22,668 --> 00:08:23,503
Good to meet ya.

106
00:08:23,569 --> 00:08:24,804
You a vet?
Yeah.

107
00:08:24,871 --> 00:08:25,505
What branch?

108
00:08:25,571 --> 00:08:26,239
Marines.

109
00:08:26,339 --> 00:08:28,140
Cool, welcome home.

110
00:08:28,207 --> 00:08:30,576
I was in the Army
myself, I was a Medic.

111
00:08:30,676 --> 00:08:31,744
What was your MOS?

112
00:08:31,844 --> 00:08:34,847
- MP.
- All right, that's cool,

113
00:08:34,914 --> 00:08:36,682
even MP's are all right here.

114
00:08:36,749 --> 00:08:38,885
Which state were you in?

115
00:08:40,486 --> 00:08:42,021
Confusion.

116
00:08:42,088 --> 00:08:44,323
The idea is that we
make handmade paper

117
00:08:44,390 --> 00:08:45,390
from military uniforms.

118
00:08:45,424 --> 00:08:48,694
We want vets to
tell their own story

119
00:08:48,761 --> 00:08:50,596
in their own words and images

120
00:08:50,696 --> 00:08:52,865
on paper that they
make themselves.

121
00:08:52,932 --> 00:08:54,600
So, we do letterpress
printing...

122
00:08:54,700 --> 00:08:57,770
If you want to do a book,
maybe, out of your old journals.

123
00:08:57,870 --> 00:09:00,840
I'm working on
stencil over here.

124
00:09:00,907 --> 00:09:04,076
It's a memorial for
a buddy of ours.

125
00:09:06,712 --> 00:09:09,048
These guys are binding
a book right now,

126
00:09:09,115 --> 00:09:10,683
all by hand

127
00:09:10,750 --> 00:09:13,686
and right here, we're just
cutting some rag.

128
00:09:13,753 --> 00:09:16,455
So this is where the whole
thing begins, basically.

129
00:09:19,091 --> 00:09:21,561
Hey guys, the cops are here.

130
00:09:22,962 --> 00:09:24,363
I'm just kidding,
this is Isabelle.

131
00:09:24,430 --> 00:09:26,190
She's a MP for the
Marines, she just got out.

132
00:09:26,232 --> 00:09:28,267
Semper Fi, Baby.

133
00:09:29,235 --> 00:09:30,636
This is uh, this is the gang.

134
00:09:30,736 --> 00:09:32,138
These are our
Vietnam geezers here.

135
00:09:32,238 --> 00:09:35,074
Walt, he's a Vietnam vet

136
00:09:35,141 --> 00:09:36,742
and his son was in
Afghanistan too.

137
00:09:36,809 --> 00:09:39,478
We got Jan over here,
he was in Vietnam.

138
00:09:39,579 --> 00:09:41,380
Kevin's Iraq vet.
Hey.

139
00:09:41,447 --> 00:09:42,915
Malloy over here
was in Iraq too.

140
00:09:44,550 --> 00:09:46,452
These guys over here,
this is Will over there,

141
00:09:46,552 --> 00:09:49,088
he was in Iraq and Afghanistan.

142
00:09:49,155 --> 00:09:51,657
Nate was in Iraq back
during the invasion,

143
00:09:51,757 --> 00:09:53,659
that's around the
time I was there too.

144
00:09:53,759 --> 00:09:55,328
Um, you got your own uniforms?

145
00:09:55,428 --> 00:09:56,963
I do, I didn't
bring them though.

146
00:09:57,063 --> 00:09:59,041
That's cool, that's what
these are here donated for,

147
00:09:59,065 --> 00:10:01,400
so really it's a pretty
straight forward process.

148
00:10:01,467 --> 00:10:02,878
We cut this stuff up and it
goes in the machine in there,

149
00:10:02,902 --> 00:10:07,473
it beats it to a pulp and then
we form sheets on screens,

150
00:10:07,573 --> 00:10:09,651
press them, dry 'em and then
it's up to you, a blank slate.

151
00:10:09,675 --> 00:10:12,645
So yeah, we give
you the toolbox,

152
00:10:12,745 --> 00:10:15,147
it's up to you to decide
what you want to do with it.

153
00:10:15,247 --> 00:10:18,084
We're just going to help
you along the way, so..

154
00:10:18,150 --> 00:10:19,728
You know, just to kind
of get yourself going,

155
00:10:19,752 --> 00:10:22,688
do something easy
first, you know?

156
00:10:24,624 --> 00:10:25,157
The best come
out of the Survival...

157
00:10:25,257 --> 00:10:25,858
Feels good, huh?

158
00:10:25,958 --> 00:10:26,859
Survival manual...

159
00:10:26,959 --> 00:10:28,494
How to get water
out of a cactus...

160
00:10:28,594 --> 00:10:29,862
I been hooked on paper making

161
00:10:29,962 --> 00:10:31,722
ever since the first
time I heard that sound.

162
00:10:32,965 --> 00:10:34,634
Snare a seagull's
leg or some shit.

163
00:10:34,700 --> 00:10:35,368
Like impossible things,

164
00:10:35,468 --> 00:10:38,137
if you got to jump off a ship,

165
00:10:38,204 --> 00:10:40,172
they advise you to
take your pants off

166
00:10:40,272 --> 00:10:40,873
and put them over your head.

167
00:10:40,973 --> 00:10:41,540
That shit works?

168
00:10:41,641 --> 00:10:42,708
I don't know.

169
00:10:42,808 --> 00:10:45,711
I guess it kinda does!
It's better than nothing, but...

170
00:10:45,811 --> 00:10:47,179
So sometimes what we'll do

171
00:10:47,279 --> 00:10:50,149
is we'll cut the uniform
off the veteran's body.

172
00:10:51,484 --> 00:10:52,694
So like the first
guy who did it,

173
00:10:52,718 --> 00:10:54,387
he cut it from his own body

174
00:10:54,487 --> 00:10:58,391
and then I had him and another
friend cut it off my body

175
00:10:58,491 --> 00:10:59,959
as this sort of rite of passage.

176
00:11:00,026 --> 00:11:00,559
Okinawa's a
pretty trippy place

177
00:11:00,660 --> 00:11:02,662
even without LSD.

178
00:11:02,728 --> 00:11:05,898
So I remember
going, in high school,

179
00:11:05,998 --> 00:11:08,067
going the guidance
counselors office.

180
00:11:08,167 --> 00:11:11,537
"What do you want to
do after you graduate?"

181
00:11:11,637 --> 00:11:13,706
So I wrote on there,

182
00:11:13,806 --> 00:11:17,143
I wanna go to college
and work with computers

183
00:11:18,411 --> 00:11:21,881
and I spelled college
and computers wrong.

184
00:11:21,981 --> 00:11:23,381
I was never really
good at spelling.

185
00:11:25,484 --> 00:11:26,484
I'm better now, but

186
00:11:27,853 --> 00:11:29,822
the guy pivots in his
chair, within arm's reach

187
00:11:29,889 --> 00:11:33,559
is a whole rack of
recruiting pamphlets.

188
00:11:33,659 --> 00:11:36,429
He grabs the US Army with
the Apache helicopter

189
00:11:36,529 --> 00:11:37,897
right on the top.

190
00:11:37,997 --> 00:11:40,008
Up against the car and I
said, I'm here for the party.

191
00:11:40,032 --> 00:11:42,068
I'm here for the party
because I genuinely thought

192
00:11:42,168 --> 00:11:43,345
that I was at the right house.

193
00:11:43,369 --> 00:11:45,604
I thought I was there
for, for a party

194
00:11:45,705 --> 00:11:46,915
and he said, I
don't know that guy.

195
00:11:46,939 --> 00:11:51,777
They cuffed me, stuffed me,
took me to the county jail.

196
00:11:51,877 --> 00:11:56,082
Wrong fucking house.
Felony criminal trespass,

197
00:11:56,182 --> 00:11:58,284
public intoxication,

198
00:11:59,185 --> 00:12:00,619
do 90 days in jail,

199
00:12:00,720 --> 00:12:04,857
then after that go to the
military, I get a clean record.

200
00:12:04,924 --> 00:12:08,894
My life was going this
direction and very suddenly,

201
00:12:10,196 --> 00:12:12,198
it turned and went
this direction,

202
00:12:12,264 --> 00:12:15,101
like I stepped into an
alternative reality or something.

203
00:12:16,202 --> 00:12:17,870
So how are you
holding up, man?

204
00:12:19,071 --> 00:12:20,071
I'm good man, thanks.

205
00:12:23,275 --> 00:12:25,244
You sleeping?

206
00:12:29,882 --> 00:12:31,150
Yeah, me neither.

207
00:12:31,250 --> 00:12:32,728
So, you've been in touch
with his family yet, or what?

208
00:12:32,752 --> 00:12:35,788
Yeah man, I uh,
called his mom.

209
00:12:38,891 --> 00:12:41,060
I didn't know what the fuck
to say, just hysterical.

210
00:12:41,127 --> 00:12:42,595
There's not much you can say.

211
00:12:42,661 --> 00:12:45,998
I'm here, you know, need
anything, blah, blah, blah.

212
00:12:46,098 --> 00:12:48,734
Ask her for a photo or
uniform, make a memorial.

213
00:12:50,803 --> 00:12:52,147
It seems like every time
I'm finishing up one,

214
00:12:52,171 --> 00:12:53,211
I got to start on another.

215
00:12:55,841 --> 00:12:58,010
Yeah man, just let me
know what you want.

216
00:12:58,110 --> 00:12:59,445
I'm happy to help.

217
00:13:02,448 --> 00:13:03,458
When I was at WestPoint,
they were talking about,

218
00:13:03,482 --> 00:13:06,485
"Well, we'll send them
the big battalions."

219
00:13:06,585 --> 00:13:08,687
That's what they
sent in in 1965.

220
00:13:08,788 --> 00:13:11,290
Battalions? Not divisions?

221
00:13:13,192 --> 00:13:15,027
We didn't even have
helmets that much

222
00:13:15,127 --> 00:13:16,829
in, in that
timeframe in Vietnam.

223
00:13:22,868 --> 00:13:25,037
You know, I never saved
any of my uniforms,

224
00:13:25,137 --> 00:13:27,039
so I don't have one to cut up.

225
00:13:27,139 --> 00:13:28,541
Really?

226
00:13:28,641 --> 00:13:30,285
Yeah, I just wanted
to get out of the military,

227
00:13:30,309 --> 00:13:31,486
Finally got so frustrated,
I went and joined

228
00:13:31,510 --> 00:13:35,781
a peace demonstration in 1967.

229
00:13:37,983 --> 00:13:39,285
Somebody had provided a banner

230
00:13:39,351 --> 00:13:41,487
that said Vietnam
Veterans Against the War,

231
00:13:41,554 --> 00:13:42,388
so they were at the very
beginning of this march

232
00:13:42,488 --> 00:13:43,722
coming out of Central Park

233
00:13:47,660 --> 00:13:48,460
and we'd been told

234
00:13:48,527 --> 00:13:50,362
that you'd get in big trouble

235
00:13:50,462 --> 00:13:53,666
if you wore a uniform
to a political event,

236
00:13:55,000 --> 00:13:56,569
but in January of 68,

237
00:13:56,669 --> 00:13:58,337
enough people were
fed up with the fact

238
00:13:58,404 --> 00:14:00,840
that the war continued
and continued.

239
00:14:49,221 --> 00:14:50,856
Timothy or Tim

240
00:14:51,724 --> 00:14:52,858
either is really fine.

241
00:14:52,925 --> 00:14:55,628
So am I supposed to say
how I feel or something?

242
00:14:55,728 --> 00:14:56,862
Know how the little smileys,

243
00:14:56,929 --> 00:14:58,597
you know, that says
like, "How d'ya feel?"

244
00:14:58,697 --> 00:15:00,399
- Nah...
- Yeah?

245
00:15:02,401 --> 00:15:04,403
- All right?
- Yeah, fair.

246
00:15:13,078 --> 00:15:15,047
Hi, Neil.

247
00:15:15,114 --> 00:15:18,918
Thousands of people,
veterans, staff members,

248
00:15:18,984 --> 00:15:21,086
family members coming
and going to the hospital

249
00:15:21,153 --> 00:15:23,389
and also residents
on the street.

250
00:15:24,423 --> 00:15:25,624
I took out this sign.

251
00:15:29,929 --> 00:15:31,797
This project had been on
my mind for some time.

252
00:15:31,897 --> 00:15:35,167
Alright, Bud, I'll
see ya next week.

253
00:15:35,267 --> 00:15:36,568
Okay, thank you.

254
00:15:37,636 --> 00:15:38,570
Awesome.

255
00:15:38,637 --> 00:15:41,173
Every time I called it
a war Timothy got upset.

256
00:15:41,273 --> 00:15:42,273
Corrects me.

257
00:15:43,409 --> 00:15:44,729
What did he
want you to call it?

258
00:15:45,945 --> 00:15:47,079
An occupation.

259
00:15:49,281 --> 00:15:52,084
Shit, Vietnam was an
occupation too, still a war.

260
00:15:53,252 --> 00:15:54,586
This is different.

261
00:15:54,653 --> 00:15:56,789
Every generation thinks
their war is different.

262
00:15:56,855 --> 00:15:58,657
You know, I'm back
on the meds myself.

263
00:15:58,757 --> 00:16:02,027
I'm sorry to hear that.

264
00:16:02,127 --> 00:16:04,663
I figured I was pretty
well past all this shit.

265
00:16:06,031 --> 00:16:11,170
Then I started seeing you
guys coming home, burned,

266
00:16:12,805 --> 00:16:16,375
amputated limbs, PTSD, this
traumatic brain injury now,

267
00:16:17,109 --> 00:16:17,876
all that shit.

268
00:16:17,977 --> 00:16:19,057
Just like when I came back.

269
00:16:21,313 --> 00:16:22,681
Resurrects a lot of shit.

270
00:16:24,149 --> 00:16:26,986
You've been doing peer
to peer now for what?

271
00:16:27,052 --> 00:16:29,388
Three years? It's inevitable.

272
00:16:29,488 --> 00:16:31,056
You were gonna go through this.

273
00:16:31,156 --> 00:16:33,225
I'm thinking some time off.

274
00:16:33,325 --> 00:16:36,495
Did you speak to his regular
doctor or his VA shrink?

275
00:16:36,562 --> 00:16:39,131
The department's looking
into this kid's case,

276
00:16:39,198 --> 00:16:40,866
but you know what
they're going to say.

277
00:16:40,966 --> 00:16:43,669
They didn't know
about the other meds.

278
00:16:44,503 --> 00:16:46,572
Everyone signs that agreement.

279
00:16:46,672 --> 00:16:49,675
They're not getting meds
from an outside provider.

280
00:16:49,742 --> 00:16:51,076
That's how they
cover their asses.

281
00:16:51,176 --> 00:16:53,012
VA is gonna wash
their hands of it.

282
00:16:53,078 --> 00:16:56,715
I know the system's
fucked in a lot of ways,

283
00:16:56,815 --> 00:16:58,150
but it ain't on them.

284
00:16:58,217 --> 00:17:01,086
And it ain't on you either,
brother, you gotta know that.

285
00:17:01,186 --> 00:17:05,224
Either he had a provider
from outside the system

286
00:17:05,324 --> 00:17:07,393
or he was getting that
shit off the street.

287
00:17:08,427 --> 00:17:09,995
I know what you're
going through.

288
00:17:12,364 --> 00:17:16,668
I mean, shit, if he was lying
about what he was taking,

289
00:17:16,735 --> 00:17:19,538
there's really no way
for anyone to know.

290
00:17:20,873 --> 00:17:24,076
I hate to say it, but
if a kid wants to die,

291
00:17:26,879 --> 00:17:28,347
he's gonna find a way.

292
00:18:41,653 --> 00:18:43,422
Out of nowhere,
4,000 Vets show up.

293
00:18:43,489 --> 00:18:47,860
I mean, you can feel it,
people, Arkansas, California.

294
00:18:47,960 --> 00:18:49,695
Was cold as shit.
Cold as shit!

295
00:18:50,696 --> 00:18:51,430
The youth started that fight.

296
00:18:51,497 --> 00:18:53,699
- Hm mm.
- The elders lost it.

297
00:18:55,267 --> 00:18:56,034
'Cause they were telling us,

298
00:18:56,135 --> 00:18:57,536
"Yeah, we can trust the courts."

299
00:18:57,636 --> 00:19:00,706
"This thing it's gonna
be fine, we can go home."

300
00:19:00,806 --> 00:19:02,541
"We don't want
anyone to get hurt."

301
00:19:03,842 --> 00:19:06,278
Meanwhile, the kids
were the radicals.

302
00:19:06,345 --> 00:19:08,156
They were saying, "No, we
don't want this pipeline."

303
00:19:08,180 --> 00:19:10,015
"Or any pipeline."
Right, right.

304
00:19:10,115 --> 00:19:13,719
"We don't trust no court. We
don't trust the President.

305
00:19:13,819 --> 00:19:15,721
"We're gonna physically
block this thing."

306
00:19:15,821 --> 00:19:17,789
- Hey, welcome back.
- S'up?

307
00:19:17,856 --> 00:19:19,725
Just getting set up.

308
00:19:20,492 --> 00:19:21,527
Can I help?

309
00:19:21,627 --> 00:19:22,907
Yeah all of this
has to go out.

310
00:19:27,499 --> 00:19:27,966
You bring your uniform?

311
00:19:28,033 --> 00:19:30,002
I did.

312
00:19:31,003 --> 00:19:33,672
Standing Rock was nuts...

313
00:19:41,380 --> 00:19:45,317
Belgium. They
rebuilt it, actually...

314
00:19:45,384 --> 00:19:47,920
When you rebuild
a building like that, though

315
00:19:48,020 --> 00:19:49,087
is it still, like...

316
00:19:50,689 --> 00:19:51,890
it's not the same thing.

317
00:19:53,192 --> 00:19:55,994
Feel like they should
have to give it a different name

318
00:19:56,061 --> 00:19:59,598
If something's destroyed you can't
rename its replacement the same thing

319
00:19:59,698 --> 00:20:04,036
Well, ya know, the... Let
the name die with the thing

320
00:20:04,102 --> 00:20:05,704
It didn't die

321
00:20:07,039 --> 00:20:08,340
If it burned
down, it fuckin died

322
00:20:08,407 --> 00:20:09,775
it was resurrected

323
00:20:09,875 --> 00:20:12,177
It's a building, it ain't-
a fucking Messiah.

324
00:20:12,244 --> 00:20:14,189
Well, I'll tell you something,
if there's any possibility...

325
00:20:14,213 --> 00:20:18,417
of a ressurrection,
I would think...

326
00:20:19,551 --> 00:20:24,256
Nah, I was uh... I
deployed three times.

327
00:20:26,124 --> 00:20:29,761
Once in Afghanistan,
twice in Iraq.

328
00:20:29,861 --> 00:20:30,861
Intel.

329
00:20:34,266 --> 00:20:36,702
He's a guy... everybody
should know Smedley Butler

330
00:20:36,768 --> 00:20:38,203
Practically nobody does.

331
00:20:40,372 --> 00:20:41,616
But in the Marine Corps,
he - he is still a hero.

332
00:20:41,640 --> 00:20:46,378
Even Leatherneck magazine
acknowledges what he did,

333
00:20:46,445 --> 00:20:51,283
y'know, warning Congress
about all these capitalists

334
00:20:51,383 --> 00:20:54,886
wanting to overthrow the
Roosevelt administration.

335
00:20:54,953 --> 00:20:56,154
Fucked up

336
00:20:56,255 --> 00:20:57,255
It's okay

337
00:20:58,323 --> 00:20:59,400
Sometimes you'll get really
rough ones like this,

338
00:20:59,424 --> 00:21:01,064
but you know, once you
get the hang of it,

339
00:21:01,126 --> 00:21:04,329
you can make them smooth
and corners sharp.

340
00:21:04,429 --> 00:21:08,734
Can kind of control
how much of that...

341
00:21:09,968 --> 00:21:11,937
Super-handmade
paper look you want.

342
00:21:12,004 --> 00:21:12,504
What's that ARMY stand for?

343
00:21:12,604 --> 00:21:13,604
What's that A R M Y?

344
00:21:14,239 --> 00:21:16,275
Aren't Ready to be Marines Yet?

345
00:21:17,776 --> 00:21:19,254
What is that,
United States Moron Club?

346
00:21:19,278 --> 00:21:21,847
Anyway, tell the Beglians that.

347
00:21:21,947 --> 00:21:23,749
I'm not saying people
shouldn't rebuild shit

348
00:21:23,815 --> 00:21:25,984
when it's destroyed,
by all means we should,

349
00:21:26,084 --> 00:21:29,521
but I think you should give
it a new name, a new identity

350
00:21:29,621 --> 00:21:31,432
part of acknowledging...
Well, I'm gonna write...

351
00:21:31,456 --> 00:21:33,358
that it came to
the end of one life,

352
00:21:33,458 --> 00:21:36,695
and it's beginning another...
Wait, no, not in there.

353
00:21:36,795 --> 00:21:38,106
I'm gonna
write them a letter...

354
00:21:38,130 --> 00:21:40,532
C'mon, I'll show you.

355
00:21:40,632 --> 00:21:42,634
A letter, the
Belgians and tell them...

356
00:21:42,701 --> 00:21:44,336
Tell em to
change that fucking name.

357
00:21:44,436 --> 00:21:46,038
Rename it the
Eli Wright Building.

358
00:21:46,138 --> 00:21:47,506
No, no...

359
00:21:47,606 --> 00:21:49,766
cause he has an opinion to
straighten you people out.

360
00:22:02,054 --> 00:22:04,623
Pour it in there.

361
00:22:08,026 --> 00:22:11,396
See, one thing that I
love about this process is,

362
00:22:12,197 --> 00:22:15,534
it's forgiving, you know?

363
00:22:17,502 --> 00:22:19,871
Like if you fuck up,
you can always fix it

364
00:22:19,971 --> 00:22:21,840
and you can always do it over.

365
00:22:24,509 --> 00:22:26,589
I mean, it's not like some
exclusive art in that way.

366
00:22:28,480 --> 00:22:30,048
Anybody could do it.

367
00:22:34,052 --> 00:22:35,654
See, in here, you got...

368
00:22:36,355 --> 00:22:38,490
sand, blood...

369
00:22:42,527 --> 00:22:47,432
Somalia, Iraq, Afghanistan,
South Carolina.

370
00:22:49,000 --> 00:22:53,872
Uranium, sweat...
Panama...

371
00:22:59,945 --> 00:23:02,748
You, uh, you seen the paper yet?

372
00:23:27,906 --> 00:23:29,708
This is a dope process, man.

373
00:23:29,775 --> 00:23:31,777
Right?

374
00:23:32,411 --> 00:23:34,279
It's messy as fuck.

375
00:23:34,379 --> 00:23:36,081
Fun to get your hands all...

376
00:23:42,788 --> 00:23:46,224
I had this uh...
"incident" happen.

377
00:23:48,126 --> 00:23:51,830
It wasn't an incident.

378
00:23:51,930 --> 00:23:53,398
But it got me thinking...

379
00:23:53,465 --> 00:23:56,668
it'd be good to be
around people more.

380
00:23:57,235 --> 00:23:58,570
I mean...

381
00:24:00,105 --> 00:24:01,506
Not just any people.
I mean...

382
00:24:03,175 --> 00:24:04,509
I only feel comfortable

383
00:24:04,609 --> 00:24:06,478
around people who want to
kill themselves. So.

384
00:24:18,924 --> 00:24:20,459
Yeah.

385
00:24:21,626 --> 00:24:23,528
Think I hear you on that.

386
00:25:16,381 --> 00:25:18,316
Was as much of
a hero in civilian life

387
00:25:18,383 --> 00:25:19,384
as he was as a general.

388
00:25:19,484 --> 00:25:23,088
Yeah, sometimes Marines can...

389
00:25:23,188 --> 00:25:27,058
can do something that's
a halfways intelligent.

390
00:25:27,158 --> 00:25:29,261
What?

391
00:25:29,361 --> 00:25:31,663
Wait a minute.

392
00:25:31,730 --> 00:25:33,498
Does that shirt
say "bad brains"?

393
00:25:37,502 --> 00:25:39,437
What's that "bad brains" mean?

394
00:25:41,106 --> 00:25:43,108
It's a Reggae punk
band from the Eighties,

395
00:25:43,208 --> 00:25:44,609
don't you know that?
No...

396
00:25:46,378 --> 00:25:47,378
Better.

397
00:25:54,619 --> 00:25:56,788
Reggae punk band
from the Eighties.

398
00:25:58,223 --> 00:25:59,233
♪ Ain't no cure for
the summertime blues ♪

399
00:25:59,257 --> 00:26:01,426
Best version ever.

400
00:26:04,195 --> 00:26:08,800
Well, Motorcycle Irene?
Stark naked,

401
00:26:08,900 --> 00:26:10,101
unsacred Motorcycle Irene.

402
00:26:10,201 --> 00:26:12,304
I'm just gonna
use a book-binding knot

403
00:26:12,404 --> 00:26:12,971
This is tough.
Yeah

404
00:26:13,071 --> 00:26:14,406
If you...

405
00:26:14,472 --> 00:26:16,942
are more comfortable doing that.

406
00:26:17,909 --> 00:26:19,778
It doesn't necessarily matter

407
00:26:19,878 --> 00:26:21,046
what type of knot you use.

408
00:26:21,112 --> 00:26:22,881
I use this knot because it's...

409
00:26:22,948 --> 00:26:28,653
how I learned to do it in
medicine, so, it works for this.

410
00:26:30,121 --> 00:26:32,057
If you have a book
binding knot by all means.

411
00:26:33,892 --> 00:26:36,561
I'm pretty sure I
fucked this up pretty bad.

412
00:26:36,628 --> 00:26:39,965
Oh, you didn't snip
your thread, that's why.

413
00:26:40,065 --> 00:26:41,766
That's all...

414
00:26:41,833 --> 00:26:42,734
- Okay, well...
- But don't take it out.

415
00:26:42,801 --> 00:26:43,835
You're fine there,

416
00:26:43,935 --> 00:26:45,770
all you gotta do is...

417
00:26:46,938 --> 00:26:49,007
Just do it there, right there?

418
00:26:49,107 --> 00:26:50,241
Yeah, go ahead.

419
00:26:51,443 --> 00:26:53,011
How're those tweezers
working for you?

420
00:26:53,111 --> 00:26:55,313
- Fuck off!
- Those aren't scissors.

421
00:26:55,413 --> 00:26:56,557
The fuck do they look like?

422
00:26:56,581 --> 00:26:58,083
All right, hang on.

423
00:26:58,149 --> 00:26:59,226
They teach you how
to use a gun as an MP

424
00:26:59,250 --> 00:27:02,354
but you can't even use
a pair of scissors?

425
00:27:02,454 --> 00:27:05,690
Are Marine MPs more
bad-ass than army MPs?

426
00:27:05,790 --> 00:27:06,791
Fuck yeah, of course!

427
00:27:07,926 --> 00:27:09,103
The fuck kinda
question is that? Shit!

428
00:27:09,127 --> 00:27:10,338
That's why they
don't hire Army MPs

429
00:27:10,362 --> 00:27:11,429
to guard the embassies.

430
00:27:11,496 --> 00:27:13,431
Only the Marines
get to do that...

431
00:27:13,498 --> 00:27:16,301
So did you want to
be a cop... as a civilian?

432
00:27:16,368 --> 00:27:18,303
And used the Marines as a
way to get there, or...

433
00:27:18,370 --> 00:27:19,938
No, the only... nah...

434
00:27:20,005 --> 00:27:20,538
What was your thing?

435
00:27:20,639 --> 00:27:22,707
You got a pet peeve?

436
00:27:22,807 --> 00:27:25,043
No, I, I did
something really stupid.

437
00:27:26,711 --> 00:27:28,880
I headbutted my brother and
I knocked him out.

438
00:27:28,980 --> 00:27:30,382
Ho ho! Headbutted?

439
00:27:30,482 --> 00:27:31,482
Damn!

440
00:27:32,517 --> 00:27:33,837
What'd he say to
deserve that one?

441
00:27:35,487 --> 00:27:36,964
Nah, it wasn't like that,
game was already over.

442
00:27:36,988 --> 00:27:38,748
Dude comes up, fucking
shoves me in the back,

443
00:27:38,790 --> 00:27:39,967
while I'm putting on my jacket

444
00:27:39,991 --> 00:27:41,893
like he wants to fucking
say, "Good game, Bro!"

445
00:27:41,993 --> 00:27:43,353
But he's trying to
start something.

446
00:27:43,828 --> 00:27:45,063
So of course I do.

447
00:27:46,064 --> 00:27:47,104
Next thing you know, we...

448
00:27:49,467 --> 00:27:50,467
Fuck it.

449
00:27:57,175 --> 00:27:58,309
Hey, kiddo!

450
00:27:59,010 --> 00:28:01,746
Look it

451
00:28:01,846 --> 00:28:03,515
got you a smartphone.

452
00:28:04,816 --> 00:28:06,060
Alright, get rid of that
piece of shit that you have,

453
00:28:06,084 --> 00:28:07,986
get you on the
family plan, okay?

454
00:28:08,053 --> 00:28:10,555
Anyway, yo, that thing I was
saying yesterday about

455
00:28:10,655 --> 00:28:13,091
starting a dog farm...
that was a dumb fucking idea.

456
00:28:13,191 --> 00:28:16,561
But you know, I got more
where those came from.

457
00:28:16,661 --> 00:28:19,431
You know, maybe you uh...
find something outdoorsy

458
00:28:19,531 --> 00:28:21,433
ya know, that's you.

459
00:28:22,500 --> 00:28:27,572
Oh, before I forget,
uh, about the visit.

460
00:28:30,341 --> 00:28:32,410
Not this week.

461
00:28:32,510 --> 00:28:34,913
Yeah, she said she's,
she's not feeling so good.

462
00:28:35,013 --> 00:28:36,414
Her back, you know?

463
00:28:39,350 --> 00:28:42,287
- That's why I raised concerns
- Okay? Let's get to it.

464
00:28:42,387 --> 00:28:44,198
About the treatment of
prisoners at Guantanamo,

465
00:28:44,222 --> 00:28:47,459
the abuse of prisoners
at Guantanamo,

466
00:28:47,559 --> 00:28:49,728
torture of prisoners
at Guantanamo.

467
00:28:49,794 --> 00:28:51,362
Serving in the US
military as a chaplain

468
00:28:51,429 --> 00:28:54,032
that I had to speak out.

469
00:28:54,099 --> 00:28:55,743
Motherfuckers think
you owe them something

470
00:28:55,767 --> 00:28:59,938
that the greatest casualty
really is,

471
00:29:01,539 --> 00:29:03,308
being left behind,

472
00:29:04,075 --> 00:29:05,443
left behind.

473
00:29:07,879 --> 00:29:09,748
Timothy, lemme
ask you something.

474
00:29:09,814 --> 00:29:12,951
You been out a few
years... does it get any better?

475
00:29:14,886 --> 00:29:15,886
I don't know.

476
00:29:17,155 --> 00:29:18,456
I hate the word healing.

477
00:29:22,127 --> 00:29:25,096
It's not some fucking
point of arrival.

478
00:29:25,930 --> 00:29:27,132
It's just...

479
00:29:27,232 --> 00:29:30,668
something you're doing...
all the time.

480
00:29:48,453 --> 00:29:49,521
I wanna...

481
00:29:49,621 --> 00:29:50,655
Time to kill though?

482
00:29:50,755 --> 00:29:52,257
- Yeah.
- What do you think?

483
00:29:52,323 --> 00:29:54,403
We can drive this guy in a
circle for a fucking hour.

484
00:31:08,066 --> 00:31:10,101
What about you, Isabelle?

485
00:31:10,201 --> 00:31:12,201
You got something you're
gonna read at the gallery?

486
00:31:13,538 --> 00:31:16,107
Yeah, I got one, I mean,

487
00:31:16,207 --> 00:31:17,408
it's not finished, it's just,

488
00:31:17,508 --> 00:31:19,110
I've been kind of
scratching it out.

489
00:31:23,448 --> 00:31:26,718
It's about...
a detainee.

490
00:31:27,719 --> 00:31:29,520
We covered their
eyes with sandbags,

491
00:31:29,587 --> 00:31:32,123
deprived their will
of singing praise.

492
00:31:32,223 --> 00:31:32,790
Nine men kneeling.

493
00:31:32,891 --> 00:31:34,759
None of them cried out.

494
00:31:35,894 --> 00:31:36,728
Like secret police
snaking the night,

495
00:31:36,794 --> 00:31:39,564
we slipped into their bedrooms.

496
00:31:39,631 --> 00:31:42,533
We zip-tied their wrists,
tight, blood droplets,

497
00:31:42,600 --> 00:31:43,968
ink on their orange jumpers.

498
00:31:44,068 --> 00:31:45,737
We tried to snatch
their dignity,

499
00:31:45,803 --> 00:31:49,040
spread fear by word of mouth.

500
00:31:49,107 --> 00:31:51,876
We learned it don't work
like that, who knew?

501
00:31:51,943 --> 00:31:54,445
A cornered human won't eat
from your hand, who knew?

502
00:31:55,780 --> 00:31:57,649
We covered their
eyes with sandbags

503
00:31:57,749 --> 00:32:00,151
deprived their will
of simple purpose.

504
00:32:00,251 --> 00:32:01,152
We got the right guy.

505
00:32:01,252 --> 00:32:04,455
LT says again and
again, again and again,

506
00:32:04,555 --> 00:32:05,790
echoing off into nothing.

507
00:32:07,158 --> 00:32:10,128
Even then I knew, even then
I felt the black hole open.

508
00:32:11,496 --> 00:32:12,797
I'll try harder in another life.

509
00:32:12,897 --> 00:32:16,334
I won't pretend to be a man,
born to kill.

510
00:32:18,102 --> 00:32:19,637
Now their ghosts
wander my thoughts.

511
00:32:19,737 --> 00:32:22,507
They're somewhere else already.

512
00:32:22,607 --> 00:32:23,607
And I am here.

513
00:32:24,943 --> 00:32:26,144
Listen.

514
00:32:26,244 --> 00:32:28,913
What haunts me are not
their curses, but this:

515
00:32:28,980 --> 00:32:30,949
the man who speaks
perfect English,

516
00:32:31,015 --> 00:32:36,688
whose name is not
ISN154234, but Ahmed.

517
00:32:37,622 --> 00:32:38,790
He's a fruit seller.

518
00:32:39,791 --> 00:32:40,792
Father of three.

519
00:32:41,993 --> 00:32:46,531
He passes me a paper flower,
says he forgives me

520
00:32:46,631 --> 00:32:47,631
for I know not what I do.

521
00:32:50,868 --> 00:32:53,338
See what the gallery
crowd makes of that.

522
00:32:54,939 --> 00:32:56,841
That's a gut punch
they're gonna need to hear.

523
00:32:56,941 --> 00:32:58,810
What are you gonna read, Eli?

524
00:33:00,278 --> 00:33:03,381
I'm not sure yet I've
been working on this one.

525
00:33:03,481 --> 00:33:05,984
This is all the things I wish
I would have figured out.

526
00:33:08,219 --> 00:33:09,454
I never knew what to say.

527
00:33:11,456 --> 00:33:12,323
Never knew how to cut through

528
00:33:12,390 --> 00:33:15,226
all the contradictions
and confusion.

529
00:33:15,326 --> 00:33:18,563
It's like dancing on landmines
and swimming in sandstorms

530
00:33:18,663 --> 00:33:21,065
while marching into a war
you didn't get to vote for,

531
00:33:21,165 --> 00:33:23,668
with a rifle slung
over one shoulder

532
00:33:23,735 --> 00:33:25,803
and a medical aid
bag over the other.

533
00:33:25,870 --> 00:33:27,147
It's doing everything you
can to save a man's life

534
00:33:27,171 --> 00:33:30,875
who just did everything
he could to end yours.

535
00:33:30,975 --> 00:33:33,344
It's seeing medics
engaged in torture

536
00:33:33,411 --> 00:33:35,213
and infantrymen
engaged in medicine.

537
00:33:35,313 --> 00:33:38,483
It's feeling deaf from the
sound of a pounding heart

538
00:33:38,549 --> 00:33:40,060
while praying for a pulse
and preaching to the choir

539
00:33:40,084 --> 00:33:43,087
about salvation.
It's choking on the smoke

540
00:33:43,187 --> 00:33:44,756
of everything you
used to believe in,

541
00:33:44,856 --> 00:33:47,025
after you burned it
all to the ground,

542
00:33:47,091 --> 00:33:49,260
it's building bridges
then putting up barriers

543
00:33:49,360 --> 00:33:51,262
so nobody can cross them.

544
00:33:51,362 --> 00:33:53,765
It's like locking all the
doors everywhere around you.

545
00:33:53,865 --> 00:33:55,666
Then scattering the
keys in obvious places,

546
00:33:55,733 --> 00:33:57,201
hoping nobody will find them.

547
00:33:57,268 --> 00:34:00,104
It's like coming back,
feeling like a stranger

548
00:34:00,204 --> 00:34:02,840
then running away to
feel at home again,

549
00:34:02,907 --> 00:34:04,018
it's being surrounded
by everyone you love

550
00:34:04,042 --> 00:34:07,245
and feeling suffocated
at the exact same time.

551
00:34:07,345 --> 00:34:11,449
Like writing speeches when
you feel completely speechless

552
00:34:11,549 --> 00:34:14,118
and speaking out while
you're being strangled,

553
00:34:14,218 --> 00:34:15,953
it's ducking for
cover in the sunshine

554
00:34:16,054 --> 00:34:18,556
and searching for a ray
of light in the shadows.

555
00:34:18,623 --> 00:34:22,060
It's drinking away the night
just to sleep away the day.

556
00:34:22,126 --> 00:34:24,295
It's chain smoking
cigarettes under stress

557
00:34:24,395 --> 00:34:25,730
just to catch your breath.

558
00:34:25,797 --> 00:34:28,199
It's your worst vice
saving your fucking life.

559
00:34:29,567 --> 00:34:31,011
It's why I've taken
to wearing my heart

560
00:34:31,035 --> 00:34:33,371
on my sleeve nowadays to escape
the prison of my rib cage

561
00:34:33,438 --> 00:34:36,974
because I'm sick of being
trapped in this past life.

562
00:34:42,146 --> 00:34:44,749
How big is this
gallery? How much wall space?

563
00:34:45,817 --> 00:34:47,061
It's a decent
size gallery space,

564
00:34:47,085 --> 00:34:50,788
we got at more than
a few hours, to...

565
00:34:50,888 --> 00:34:53,057
We're doing
poetry first, or...?

566
00:34:53,124 --> 00:34:55,927
Yeah, like let people
come in, just see the artwork,

567
00:34:55,993 --> 00:34:57,128
check it out for a while.

568
00:34:57,228 --> 00:34:58,996
Right, don't
want to scare 'em away.

569
00:35:01,132 --> 00:35:02,834
♪ There is power,
there is power ♪

570
00:35:02,934 --> 00:35:05,837
♪ In a band of working folks ♪

571
00:35:05,937 --> 00:35:10,007
♪ When we stand, hand in hand ♪

572
00:35:10,108 --> 00:35:12,677
♪ That's a power,
that's a power ♪

573
00:35:12,777 --> 00:35:14,846
♪ That must rule in every land ♪

574
00:35:14,946 --> 00:35:19,350
♪ One Industrial Union Grand. ♪

575
00:35:19,450 --> 00:35:22,854
♪ Would you have freedom ♪
from wage slavery ♪

576
00:35:22,954 --> 00:35:24,689
♪ Then come join the Grand... ♪

577
00:35:24,789 --> 00:35:27,325
♪ Industrial Grand ♪

578
00:35:27,425 --> 00:35:29,861
Why does it keep doing that?

579
00:35:31,362 --> 00:35:32,362
Because...

580
00:35:32,797 --> 00:35:35,032
You suck at inking.

581
00:35:35,133 --> 00:35:37,802
♪ There is power,
there is power ♪

582
00:35:37,869 --> 00:35:39,149
♪ In the hands of
working folks ♪

583
00:35:39,203 --> 00:35:42,039
♪ When we stand, hand in hand ♪

584
00:35:42,140 --> 00:35:45,143
Well, I don't got
it all over my face.

585
00:35:45,209 --> 00:35:47,712
♪ Power that must
rule in every land ♪

586
00:35:47,812 --> 00:35:51,949
♪ One Industrial Union Grand ♪

587
00:35:52,016 --> 00:35:54,552
Looks like you gave
me a black eye over here.

588
00:35:55,887 --> 00:35:57,321
Alright, let's do
this for real now.

589
00:35:57,388 --> 00:35:58,055
Hold on to that.
I got this.

590
00:35:58,156 --> 00:36:00,224
Oh, you got this.

591
00:36:00,324 --> 00:36:03,461
I bet you had to say that
all the time in Iraq.

592
00:36:03,528 --> 00:36:05,863
My CO even said he'd put
that on my grave at Arlington

593
00:36:05,963 --> 00:36:06,864
if I died out there.

594
00:36:06,964 --> 00:36:09,634
No more room at Arlington.

595
00:36:09,700 --> 00:36:10,878
Well, we gotta come up with,

596
00:36:10,902 --> 00:36:12,012
what's the new
Memorial gonna be?

597
00:36:12,036 --> 00:36:15,239
If can't keep putting
headstones down.

598
00:36:15,339 --> 00:36:16,574
Just get a big screen.

599
00:36:16,674 --> 00:36:20,478
Jumbo-tron.
Flash all the faces and names.

600
00:36:21,913 --> 00:36:24,482
We are guys who like to drink!

601
00:36:32,990 --> 00:36:37,662
Well. Off-hours, anyway.

602
00:36:39,163 --> 00:36:41,232
Maybe we could
have a system like,

603
00:36:42,200 --> 00:36:43,240
make labels, or something.

604
00:36:46,103 --> 00:36:48,439
Yeah, we used to have
something like that.

605
00:36:48,539 --> 00:36:49,819
I don't know what
happened to it,

606
00:36:52,877 --> 00:36:55,213
Fuck labels, man!

607
00:37:12,029 --> 00:37:15,466
I been laying on my bed...
and I'm just awake,

608
00:37:15,566 --> 00:37:18,069
just always fucking awake.

609
00:37:20,404 --> 00:37:22,540
Lately I can't stop
thinking about how

610
00:37:24,542 --> 00:37:27,878
my mother, before I deployed,

611
00:37:28,646 --> 00:37:31,782
she was talking about how...

612
00:37:32,917 --> 00:37:35,486
what's a woman doing in a war

613
00:37:35,586 --> 00:37:37,888
what's a woman
doing in a uniform

614
00:37:39,457 --> 00:37:43,561
What's a woman doing, trying to
act like... a man or something.

615
00:37:43,628 --> 00:37:45,630
And she basically said to me,

616
00:37:46,464 --> 00:37:47,465
"If you go there,

617
00:37:48,499 --> 00:37:51,335
I don't want to know
nothing about you."

618
00:37:51,435 --> 00:37:53,337
"You're not mine anymore."

619
00:37:56,107 --> 00:37:59,810
I don't know if she meant
that or what, but anyway,

620
00:37:59,910 --> 00:38:03,080
that's what the fuck I've
been thinking about at night.

621
00:38:25,636 --> 00:38:29,040
I do, uh, peer
to peer counseling.

622
00:38:36,514 --> 00:38:41,218
And one of the guys that...
he's the youngest guy I was...

623
00:38:42,987 --> 00:38:46,457
And he... a month ago,

624
00:38:48,326 --> 00:38:50,027
he killed himself.

625
00:38:58,836 --> 00:39:02,073
You want to think that like...
you can know it's gonna happen.

626
00:39:02,173 --> 00:39:03,173
Right?

627
00:39:04,375 --> 00:39:07,345
You can feel it, you
can do something.

628
00:39:19,924 --> 00:39:22,860
What was his name?

629
00:39:28,866 --> 00:39:31,102
Timothy.

630
00:39:34,038 --> 00:39:36,741
You remember how

631
00:39:36,841 --> 00:39:38,409
they used to fire
off guns at weddings?

632
00:39:40,244 --> 00:39:43,614
Full auto, 30 round bursts.

633
00:39:46,283 --> 00:39:47,718
Must go through
a dozen magazines

634
00:39:47,785 --> 00:39:49,065
every time someone gets married.

635
00:39:59,397 --> 00:40:02,299
In the beginning when
we first got in country,

636
00:40:04,635 --> 00:40:08,806
we'd hear shots off
in the distance,

637
00:40:08,906 --> 00:40:10,107
four or five miles away.

638
00:40:10,207 --> 00:40:13,210
And we'd see the tracers
flying up through the air.

639
00:40:13,277 --> 00:40:16,280
We would go tearing
down the road

640
00:40:16,380 --> 00:40:17,900
in our gun trucks,
looking for a fight.

641
00:40:21,152 --> 00:40:22,152
But there was nothing.

642
00:40:25,122 --> 00:40:28,826
No firefight, no insurgents.

643
00:40:30,127 --> 00:40:32,062
Just, just a couple of
people getting married.

644
00:40:38,269 --> 00:40:41,839
Of course. After, after a
while we figured it out,

645
00:40:43,407 --> 00:40:45,943
we'd hear the gunfire
at the certain hour

646
00:40:46,010 --> 00:40:49,513
and look at our
watches, figure out

647
00:40:49,613 --> 00:40:53,417
what day of the week it was,
nod back and forth and say,

648
00:40:53,484 --> 00:40:58,355
"Yup, just another
wedding." Right?

649
00:41:08,966 --> 00:41:14,038
But I don't think we ever
really did figure it out.

650
00:41:19,009 --> 00:41:22,179
What was there to figure out?

651
00:41:27,351 --> 00:41:29,553
That it was...

652
00:41:29,653 --> 00:41:32,823
just a couple of people
getting married.

653
00:41:34,158 --> 00:41:35,558
Timothy, let me
ask you something.

654
00:41:37,328 --> 00:41:39,530
Why do you think they
turned down your claim?

655
00:41:40,364 --> 00:41:42,132
I really don't know.

656
00:41:44,235 --> 00:41:45,703
Look,

657
00:41:47,204 --> 00:41:49,306
to be approved by the
VA for post-traumatic stress.

658
00:41:50,641 --> 00:41:53,744
You got to demonstrate
some traumatic experience.

659
00:41:53,844 --> 00:41:58,482
Life-threatening situation,
something along those lines.

660
00:41:59,483 --> 00:42:01,485
See what I'm saying?
Yeah.

661
00:42:04,688 --> 00:42:07,157
When I looked at
the VA's decision,

662
00:42:07,224 --> 00:42:09,560
it says you didn't have
that kind of experience.

663
00:42:11,362 --> 00:42:13,097
I told them my story.

664
00:42:14,265 --> 00:42:16,066
They just didn't get it.

665
00:42:21,705 --> 00:42:23,374
Yeah, well.

666
00:42:24,074 --> 00:42:26,210
That happens.

667
00:42:29,113 --> 00:42:30,948
You think you could
tell me your story?

668
00:42:37,187 --> 00:42:38,187
Yeah.

669
00:42:41,225 --> 00:42:42,225
Yeah, of course.

670
00:43:32,443 --> 00:43:33,843
Eli, the labels
go on lower right?

671
00:43:35,279 --> 00:43:36,347
Yeah.

672
00:43:36,447 --> 00:43:38,849
He's gonna come along and
move 'em all, anyway...

673
00:43:41,619 --> 00:43:42,996
All the artwork
you see in this gallery

674
00:43:43,020 --> 00:43:46,190
was handmade from
American military uniforms.

675
00:43:46,290 --> 00:43:49,360
We take the uniforms, we
cut them into small pieces

676
00:43:49,460 --> 00:43:51,762
and we put them...
We were involved in

677
00:43:51,829 --> 00:43:52,949
Interrogation processes...

678
00:43:54,932 --> 00:43:56,676
Sure, US put him in
there in the first place.

679
00:43:56,700 --> 00:43:58,620
As a medic they want you to
monitor and - and -

680
00:44:00,871 --> 00:44:04,708
- throw acid on
LaVena Johnson's genitals

681
00:44:04,808 --> 00:44:08,145
whether they're able to
endure further interrogation

682
00:44:08,212 --> 00:44:11,281
So, at this point, this dude had
been in there for three days

683
00:44:11,348 --> 00:44:12,383
It's been a disaster!

684
00:44:12,483 --> 00:44:14,718
Johnny was involved
in multiple situations

685
00:44:14,818 --> 00:44:16,887
Where they kept calling
him back to take care of...

686
00:44:16,987 --> 00:44:18,031
all of these prisoners
Peace is the only...

687
00:44:18,055 --> 00:44:20,891
Real war memorial. -
interrogation processes that...

688
00:44:20,991 --> 00:44:22,359
included torture.

689
00:44:23,460 --> 00:44:25,271
Coming back from Iraq,
Johnny killed himself.

690
00:44:25,295 --> 00:44:27,064
They give you a free
hall if someone dies.

691
00:44:27,164 --> 00:44:29,166
A lot of the artists
are on the premises now

692
00:44:29,233 --> 00:44:30,801
All outta wine,
I'll go get some.

693
00:44:30,868 --> 00:44:32,803
Nah, it's cool, I'll get it.

694
00:44:32,870 --> 00:44:36,373
It is a way to kind
of tell their stories,

695
00:44:36,473 --> 00:44:37,473
since they can't.

696
00:44:37,508 --> 00:44:39,677
Thank you for your service!

697
00:44:57,194 --> 00:44:59,229
You heading out?

698
00:44:59,329 --> 00:45:00,864
Yeah, I was gonna
get some smokes.

699
00:45:07,404 --> 00:45:09,707
Man, I love Eli's piece with
the dude with a skeleton hand

700
00:45:09,773 --> 00:45:11,275
and the phone? That
shit's bananas.

701
00:45:11,375 --> 00:45:13,444
Ah yeah, super dope piece.

702
00:45:13,544 --> 00:45:14,945
Barbed wire?

703
00:45:15,045 --> 00:45:20,050
I'm gonna do something with
barbed wire, I got... an idea.

704
00:45:20,117 --> 00:45:21,585
Thought you quit?

705
00:45:22,386 --> 00:45:24,188
I did. But.

706
00:45:26,590 --> 00:45:27,291
I don't know, cigarettes
are my friend right now

707
00:45:27,391 --> 00:45:29,727
you know?

708
00:45:29,793 --> 00:45:32,196
Sometimes, you know, "cause
it kills you!" is just not

709
00:45:32,262 --> 00:45:33,342
a fucking 'nough, you know?

710
00:45:35,365 --> 00:45:36,266
Yeah, I try and
just think of it

711
00:45:36,366 --> 00:45:38,469
like this giant
corporation that could

712
00:45:38,569 --> 00:45:40,129
give a fuck whether
I die or live, so...

713
00:45:41,872 --> 00:45:43,540
I don't want to be run by that.

714
00:45:44,641 --> 00:45:46,041
Don't wanna be dependent,
fuck that.

715
00:45:50,547 --> 00:45:53,484
You talk with a kind
of a lilty, like, lispy thing.

716
00:45:53,584 --> 00:45:55,786
Where are you from anyway?

717
00:45:57,254 --> 00:45:59,256
Baton Rouge.

718
00:46:02,726 --> 00:46:04,161
I don't think you mean lisp.

719
00:46:12,836 --> 00:46:14,571
And all those people in there?

720
00:46:14,638 --> 00:46:16,940
It's great that they
come out, you know, but...

721
00:46:18,609 --> 00:46:20,511
you can't, like, have
the conversation.

722
00:46:21,345 --> 00:46:22,746
You can't really have it.

723
00:46:23,981 --> 00:46:26,016
No one wants to talk
about dying, yeah.

724
00:46:26,116 --> 00:46:28,252
There's never any
context for it, you know,

725
00:46:28,318 --> 00:46:30,487
we don't make space for
it, ever. We just...

726
00:46:32,856 --> 00:46:34,691
But then how do you...?

727
00:46:34,792 --> 00:46:35,969
Well, yeah, I mean, how
do you prevent something

728
00:46:35,993 --> 00:46:38,796
that you can't fucking
talk about ever, right?

729
00:46:41,098 --> 00:46:45,202
I had, uh, I had a friend
from New Orleans once,

730
00:46:45,302 --> 00:46:48,005
he was kind of a drug dealer,
but he was, he was a cool guy.

731
00:46:57,347 --> 00:47:00,017
It's right here.

732
00:47:00,117 --> 00:47:01,117
I'll wait here.

733
00:48:11,221 --> 00:48:12,789
Yo, what are you doin'?

734
00:48:14,057 --> 00:48:15,058
I'm okay.

735
00:48:15,125 --> 00:48:16,793
I'm just, this fucking
thing just keeps

736
00:48:16,894 --> 00:48:18,729
correcting me all
the fucking time.

737
00:48:18,795 --> 00:48:20,297
I'm fine.

738
00:48:20,397 --> 00:48:21,397
I'm good.

739
00:48:36,280 --> 00:48:38,916
Hey, maybe you should
just breathe, you know,

740
00:48:40,784 --> 00:48:41,785
take a breath?

741
00:48:45,389 --> 00:48:46,389
I'm okay.

742
00:48:49,726 --> 00:48:52,496
I had a flip phone, man.

743
00:48:52,596 --> 00:48:54,965
It like fucking creaked
when you opened it,

744
00:48:55,065 --> 00:48:55,832
it went

745
00:48:55,933 --> 00:48:57,567
and it worked fine.

746
00:48:59,102 --> 00:49:01,772
It fucking was fine. It
never told me what to do.

747
00:49:01,838 --> 00:49:02,838
You know?

748
00:49:20,123 --> 00:49:23,193
Are we gonna stand here...
and breathe?

749
00:49:26,263 --> 00:49:28,223
And you're gonna tell me
that I'm not a bad person

750
00:49:31,101 --> 00:49:32,301
and that I deserve to be okay.

751
00:49:34,304 --> 00:49:35,304
Right?

752
00:49:36,139 --> 00:49:37,641
You're not a bad person.

753
00:49:41,845 --> 00:49:42,980
How do you know?

754
00:49:57,127 --> 00:50:01,665
Look, let me bring these in
and I'll like... come back down.

755
00:50:01,732 --> 00:50:02,732
Okay?

756
00:51:11,968 --> 00:51:14,047
Ya know I don't really know
what you're doing over there

757
00:51:14,071 --> 00:51:15,472
at that uh - that paper thing.

758
00:51:15,572 --> 00:51:17,474
But I was trying to
tell Mom about it?

759
00:51:17,574 --> 00:51:19,543
I don't know how she's gonna be.

760
00:51:19,609 --> 00:51:21,111
I told her that you
wanted to see her,

761
00:51:21,211 --> 00:51:22,813
but she still got
that pain in her back.

762
00:51:22,913 --> 00:51:24,147
And I don't know, it's a...

763
00:51:27,250 --> 00:51:28,770
Hey, how's that, uh,
phone working out?

764
00:51:33,056 --> 00:51:34,491
Cha cha cha.

765
00:51:49,739 --> 00:51:51,975
What?

766
00:51:52,075 --> 00:51:53,419
I've got Izze
outside, she wants to say hi,

767
00:51:53,443 --> 00:51:55,612
you know, she came over,
she's doing better...

768
00:51:55,679 --> 00:51:57,519
What's different,
with her? What's different?

769
00:51:57,581 --> 00:51:59,015
It's a good thing.

770
00:51:59,116 --> 00:52:00,259
You know, she she's got her
whole life sorta worked out

771
00:52:00,283 --> 00:52:02,085
Vets, military...
Ugh, God!

772
00:52:02,152 --> 00:52:03,353
No, no it's good.

773
00:52:04,688 --> 00:52:05,355
No, it's it's a good
thing, it's good.

774
00:52:05,455 --> 00:52:08,091
Let her dedicate herself.

775
00:52:15,298 --> 00:52:16,967
She came all the way out here.

776
00:52:17,033 --> 00:52:18,311
Do it for me please. Would
you just go talk to her?

777
00:52:18,335 --> 00:52:20,971
I dragged her all
the way out here.

778
00:52:22,472 --> 00:52:24,672
I'm - I'm too busy today...
you're enough, believe me...

779
00:52:28,311 --> 00:52:31,848
You're enough, you fill
my heart, it's all I need ok...

780
00:52:34,017 --> 00:52:36,486
She's standin out there, just...

781
00:52:41,691 --> 00:52:44,494
Sorry, kiddo she doesn't
want to see you right now.

782
00:52:44,561 --> 00:52:45,795
Next time, okay?

783
00:53:02,579 --> 00:53:05,582
Well
we have to create, in essence,

784
00:53:05,682 --> 00:53:10,220
walled communities, where
we nurture and protect

785
00:53:10,320 --> 00:53:13,423
those values, that
the wider society

786
00:53:13,523 --> 00:53:14,563
are attempting to destroy.

787
00:53:17,160 --> 00:53:21,865
As much as possible we have to
create parallel institutions

788
00:53:21,932 --> 00:53:24,668
to sustain ourselves
and empower ourselves.

789
00:53:25,936 --> 00:53:27,871
And all of that will
be done locally.

790
00:53:30,073 --> 00:53:32,876
Because when collapse comes,

791
00:53:32,943 --> 00:53:34,411
we'll have to take
care of ourselves.

792
00:53:34,511 --> 00:53:39,449
That's why, you know,
food, local food markets,

793
00:53:40,717 --> 00:53:44,454
sustainable agriculture,
sustainable energy.

794
00:53:45,956 --> 00:53:48,925
You know, all of this becomes,
in moments of distress,

795
00:53:49,025 --> 00:53:51,061
these become political acts.

796
00:54:11,548 --> 00:54:13,583
How you doing with this?

797
00:54:15,085 --> 00:54:16,553
You doing all right?

798
00:54:16,620 --> 00:54:17,754
You wanna hand with this?

799
00:54:17,821 --> 00:54:19,623
Gimme a sleeve,
I'll help you out.

800
00:54:19,723 --> 00:54:21,157
Yeah, pass me some, too.

801
00:54:22,492 --> 00:54:24,427
What's the story
with this uniform?

802
00:54:24,494 --> 00:54:25,854
What was the last
time you wore it?

803
00:54:37,407 --> 00:54:38,407
It was checkpoint.

804
00:54:41,978 --> 00:54:43,146
In Youssoufia.

805
00:54:44,481 --> 00:54:46,650
I was out there so fucking
long, I don't even know.

806
00:54:48,618 --> 00:54:52,422
Days, nights, weeks,

807
00:54:52,489 --> 00:54:53,923
just out there in the heat,

808
00:54:56,126 --> 00:54:57,527
staring down a highway.

809
00:54:58,962 --> 00:55:00,722
A hundred hours of heat
goes by with nothing.

810
00:55:02,699 --> 00:55:04,968
And then a car comes
out of nowhere.

811
00:55:07,203 --> 00:55:09,806
Our CO told us there's
only one way to tell,

812
00:55:12,042 --> 00:55:13,643
the good guys from the bad guys.

813
00:55:17,814 --> 00:55:19,449
The bad guys don't stop.

814
00:55:22,519 --> 00:55:26,556
We'd fire, and we'd
walk up to the vehicle,

815
00:55:31,161 --> 00:55:33,663
and almost every single time,

816
00:55:34,698 --> 00:55:38,835
there was nothing, there
were no explosives.

817
00:55:38,902 --> 00:55:40,470
There were no weapons.

818
00:55:46,810 --> 00:55:48,378
And we kept trying
to figure it out

819
00:55:48,478 --> 00:55:50,180
what the fuck was going on?

820
00:55:51,081 --> 00:55:53,249
Why don't they fucking stop?

821
00:55:55,385 --> 00:55:59,589
I know in our AO,
we covered everything

822
00:55:59,689 --> 00:56:00,809
between Ramadi and Fallujah,

823
00:56:02,692 --> 00:56:05,095
almost to Abu Ghraib,
we were over there

824
00:56:05,195 --> 00:56:06,663
when the photos got leaked,

825
00:56:07,897 --> 00:56:09,141
all of a sudden word's
out on the street,

826
00:56:09,165 --> 00:56:12,402
every Iraqi knows that we're
torturing the shit out of them.

827
00:56:14,337 --> 00:56:16,457
I don't blame them for not
stopping at the checkpoint.

828
00:56:17,607 --> 00:56:18,274
They thought that
we might arrest them

829
00:56:18,375 --> 00:56:20,510
and send them to Abu Ghraib too.

830
00:56:22,212 --> 00:56:24,681
We never never get the story
from the Iraqi's perspective.

831
00:56:26,282 --> 00:56:28,385
Some foreign military
was on my street?

832
00:56:32,355 --> 00:56:34,391
You know how that would go,
here in the US.

833
00:56:36,126 --> 00:56:39,095
Red Dawn in every town.

834
00:56:39,195 --> 00:56:40,563
Guilt and shame...

835
00:56:41,765 --> 00:56:45,201
are pretty fucking heavy
to carry with you.

836
00:56:47,604 --> 00:56:49,448
World War II vets didn't
come back and kill themselves

837
00:56:49,472 --> 00:56:52,475
in these kinds of
numbers, right?

838
00:56:52,575 --> 00:56:53,710
They had a clear mission.

839
00:56:53,777 --> 00:56:55,211
They knew who they
were fighting.

840
00:56:56,579 --> 00:56:58,081
They believed in their purpose.

841
00:57:02,118 --> 00:57:04,320
It didn't take me
very long to realize

842
00:57:04,421 --> 00:57:08,057
that there was nothing
there for me to believe in.

843
00:57:12,162 --> 00:57:14,097
In this bullshit
war, who's proud?

844
00:57:17,267 --> 00:57:18,401
I'm proud I survived.

845
00:57:19,636 --> 00:57:22,005
Yeah, proud of doing this.

846
00:57:26,443 --> 00:57:30,013
Take a lot of pride in how
many uniforms I've cut up.

847
00:57:32,282 --> 00:57:34,984
Wonder what kind of uniforms
will be cutting up in 10 years?

848
00:57:35,084 --> 00:57:36,128
You know, what color
are those going to be?

849
00:57:36,152 --> 00:57:36,686
Spacesuits.

850
00:57:36,786 --> 00:57:38,621
Spacesuits.

851
00:57:38,688 --> 00:57:40,156
Spaceforce!

852
00:57:40,256 --> 00:57:42,659
Tinfoil and goddamn nylon.

853
00:57:42,759 --> 00:57:45,237
You guys are startin to sound
like a couple of Commies over here

854
00:57:45,261 --> 00:57:46,541
I don't give a fuck, I'll say it

855
00:57:47,797 --> 00:57:49,175
We'll be up there fighting
space ISIS, in orbit!

856
00:57:49,199 --> 00:57:52,502
Space ISIS, there you go.

857
00:57:54,838 --> 00:57:56,449
Coming home from a
war that you don't feel

858
00:57:56,473 --> 00:57:59,509
morally justified
being a part of...

859
00:57:59,609 --> 00:58:00,877
is not easy to live with.

860
00:58:04,547 --> 00:58:07,717
Especially if you drank the
Kool-Aid all along... then have

861
00:58:07,817 --> 00:58:12,822
to wake up to that one day
and realize that instead of

862
00:58:14,357 --> 00:58:16,317
being one of the Jedi, we
were the Storm Troopers.

863
00:58:32,809 --> 00:58:36,913
Find out that my bags
are lost on the airline

864
00:58:37,013 --> 00:58:39,415
and all I got's my
Black Sabbath t-shirt.

865
00:58:40,683 --> 00:58:42,352
So next morning I
show up to formation.

866
00:58:42,418 --> 00:58:44,220
Sergeant comes out and he goes,

867
00:58:44,320 --> 00:58:46,689
"What the fuck are you doing?"

868
00:58:46,756 --> 00:58:47,657
I don't have my uniforms.

869
00:58:47,724 --> 00:58:50,226
He said, all right
Ozzy, just get down

870
00:58:50,326 --> 00:58:51,594
and start pushing.

871
00:58:51,694 --> 00:58:52,929
Ozzy...

872
00:58:53,029 --> 00:58:54,397
Moment of truth.

873
00:58:54,497 --> 00:58:57,767
Hey, have you guys seen
Will in the past couple weeks?

874
00:58:57,867 --> 00:58:59,402
Nah, not really.

875
00:58:59,502 --> 00:59:00,502
It's been a while.

876
00:59:01,337 --> 00:59:03,239
Think he went upstate?

877
00:59:03,339 --> 00:59:04,339
To his dad's place?

878
00:59:06,709 --> 00:59:09,245
Yeah, probably hiding out in
the bunker for a little bit.

879
00:59:09,345 --> 00:59:11,281
I could use some time
chilling in the bunker,

880
00:59:11,381 --> 00:59:12,115
out of the city.

881
00:59:12,215 --> 00:59:14,284
It's a nice spot, too.

882
00:59:14,384 --> 00:59:15,552
You been up there yet?

883
00:59:15,618 --> 00:59:18,187
No, it's near where my
parents are from though.

884
00:59:18,254 --> 00:59:19,689
I know the town.

885
00:59:23,026 --> 00:59:24,026
Will, what's up?

886
00:59:24,394 --> 00:59:25,394
It's Nate.

887
00:59:26,596 --> 00:59:27,463
I don't know if you got
my last message, but...

888
00:59:27,564 --> 00:59:30,967
just calling to see
how you're doing.

889
00:59:32,068 --> 00:59:36,439
It's been busy, we
made a hell of a mess.

890
00:59:36,539 --> 00:59:40,476
So maybe it's good you're
gone, but I don't know.

891
00:59:42,445 --> 00:59:44,213
Calling to see how you're doing.

892
00:59:45,214 --> 00:59:46,115
Yeah, man. Hope you're well.

893
00:59:46,215 --> 00:59:47,483
Hit us up,. Peace.

894
01:00:19,582 --> 01:00:22,185
Get out of the way!

895
01:00:34,464 --> 01:00:35,131
Yo.

896
01:00:35,198 --> 01:00:37,100
Get out of the way!

897
01:00:38,801 --> 01:00:39,702
Hey kiddo!

898
01:00:39,802 --> 01:00:42,605
What you doing out
this late, huh?

899
01:00:42,672 --> 01:00:43,873
Whoa, whoa!

900
01:00:46,476 --> 01:00:47,543
Hey look, I got her, Nick

901
01:00:48,511 --> 01:00:49,846
I got the Marine

902
01:00:50,713 --> 01:00:51,713
C'mon, try and get out.

903
01:00:52,315 --> 01:00:54,951
Come on.

904
01:00:55,985 --> 01:00:56,853
Is that the best you got?

905
01:00:56,953 --> 01:00:57,553
I'm barely even holding on.

906
01:00:57,654 --> 01:00:59,222
Come on soldier!

907
01:00:59,322 --> 01:01:00,356
Come on.

908
01:01:01,157 --> 01:01:02,492
Why you go so easy on me?

909
01:01:03,660 --> 01:01:06,396
Yo, we're heading to Claude's
if you wanna come.

910
01:01:07,463 --> 01:01:08,463
No?

911
01:01:09,065 --> 01:01:10,065
All right.

912
01:02:05,221 --> 01:02:06,789
Buddy, move back.

913
01:05:51,814 --> 01:05:52,814
Hey.

914
01:05:53,449 --> 01:05:57,453
I am... sorry.

915
01:05:58,154 --> 01:05:58,688
I'm sorry.

916
01:05:58,788 --> 01:05:59,522
You okay?

917
01:05:59,622 --> 01:06:00,622
Me?

918
01:06:01,123 --> 01:06:02,959
I'm, yeah, are you okay?

919
01:06:05,795 --> 01:06:08,364
I almost got fucking
sideswiped by this pickup truck

920
01:06:08,464 --> 01:06:09,464
coming up here.

921
01:06:10,766 --> 01:06:12,046
Fucking Confederate
flag hanging.

922
01:06:15,604 --> 01:06:16,872
What's that even mean up here?

923
01:06:19,275 --> 01:06:22,845
Upstate New York, fucking dodo.

924
01:06:22,945 --> 01:06:24,146
Right?

925
01:06:24,213 --> 01:06:27,183
Why didn't you
like call me, or...?

926
01:06:30,686 --> 01:06:35,691
I just, I just needed to get
the hell out of the city and,

927
01:06:38,661 --> 01:06:39,661
I'm sorry.

928
01:06:40,830 --> 01:06:44,500
I didn't mean to scare you.

929
01:06:50,239 --> 01:06:53,476
Who has a Confederate
flag up here, man?

930
01:06:54,744 --> 01:06:56,512
What does that mean
except "I am a racist"

931
01:06:56,579 --> 01:06:58,647
"I am a racist" right?

932
01:07:01,384 --> 01:07:02,485
Look...

933
01:07:03,753 --> 01:07:06,389
Look uh... I got
something for you.

934
01:07:06,489 --> 01:07:08,190
On the bus coming
here all frustrated

935
01:07:08,257 --> 01:07:10,926
I wrote some shit down...
on the back of this thing here.

936
01:07:12,762 --> 01:07:13,762
Should I read it?

937
01:07:20,536 --> 01:07:23,039
Yeah, sure.

938
01:07:23,105 --> 01:07:24,105
Read it.

939
01:07:31,714 --> 01:07:32,714
Uh...

940
01:07:34,517 --> 01:07:35,951
We don't want to fuck.

941
01:07:36,052 --> 01:07:37,887
We don't want to love.

942
01:07:37,953 --> 01:07:39,688
We don't want to feel anything.

943
01:07:40,723 --> 01:07:42,283
We just want to know
what it feels like.

944
01:07:44,727 --> 01:07:48,397
We're like those chickens
with their heads blown off.

945
01:07:49,098 --> 01:07:50,098
We know...

946
01:07:52,401 --> 01:07:54,970
Whatever, it keeps going.

947
01:07:56,572 --> 01:07:57,572
It's like a poem.

948
01:07:58,908 --> 01:08:00,576
I was using the royal we.

949
01:08:04,246 --> 01:08:05,281
I can just go.

950
01:08:06,582 --> 01:08:10,586
This is fucking nuts,
I'm a fucking nut.

951
01:08:10,653 --> 01:08:11,653
No, no, hey!

952
01:08:13,923 --> 01:08:14,290
It's okay.

953
01:08:14,390 --> 01:08:16,659
Hey.

954
01:08:16,759 --> 01:08:18,160
It's okay.

955
01:08:18,260 --> 01:08:19,260
I'm sorry.

956
01:08:22,598 --> 01:08:23,598
Don't be sorry.

957
01:08:25,100 --> 01:08:27,937
Does this make me like
a psycho or something?

958
01:08:37,580 --> 01:08:39,582
So what was up
with those chickens?

959
01:08:43,819 --> 01:08:45,588
I was voluntold.

960
01:08:58,300 --> 01:08:59,602
This is where you live?

961
01:09:01,670 --> 01:09:02,972
I don't have to come in.

962
01:09:03,038 --> 01:09:06,709
I just wanted to see...
that you're okay.

963
01:09:12,681 --> 01:09:13,681
How do I seem?

964
01:09:24,693 --> 01:09:27,196
Which one of those
clowns gave you my address?

965
01:09:28,564 --> 01:09:29,865
Everyone's Google-able.

966
01:09:31,000 --> 01:09:34,203
They said Danby, so I just...

967
01:09:36,639 --> 01:09:38,007
It's furniture.

968
01:09:38,073 --> 01:09:40,509
You hungry or thirsty?

969
01:09:40,576 --> 01:09:41,576
I got my walnuts.

970
01:09:42,811 --> 01:09:45,247
I always carrying
walnuts and almonds

971
01:09:45,347 --> 01:09:48,083
in case there's ever a
total fucking crisis.

972
01:09:48,184 --> 01:09:49,184
I'm good.

973
01:09:50,386 --> 01:09:51,587
Okay.

974
01:09:51,687 --> 01:09:52,855
Well I'm having something.

975
01:09:56,425 --> 01:10:01,397
I got this tea someone
gave me, supposed to be dope.

976
01:10:02,231 --> 01:10:03,231
Calming type shit.

977
01:10:03,933 --> 01:10:05,768
Valerian root and Tulsi.

978
01:10:13,876 --> 01:10:18,380
I made all these fucking
notes... for being here.

979
01:10:22,117 --> 01:10:24,587
This looks kinda
like a Granny place.

980
01:10:27,790 --> 01:10:29,458
Yeah, I guess.

981
01:10:30,859 --> 01:10:33,028
My, uh...

982
01:10:34,063 --> 01:10:35,864
Pops found this place
in the seventies

983
01:10:37,299 --> 01:10:40,769
and then my mama got it
in the divorce. Then my Auntie,

984
01:10:42,371 --> 01:10:44,773
She was here for a while,
but she just moved out.

985
01:10:44,873 --> 01:10:47,376
It's paid for, taxes aren't
bad, so we're keeping it.

986
01:10:52,581 --> 01:10:55,651
The quiet is hurting my ears.

987
01:11:48,837 --> 01:11:49,972
Tulsi...

988
01:11:52,641 --> 01:11:53,842
Tastes like dirt.

989
01:12:02,051 --> 01:12:03,319
Those your notes?

990
01:12:05,020 --> 01:12:06,622
These are directions to you.

991
01:12:07,956 --> 01:12:09,436
Fuck GPS, I don't
depend on that shit.

992
01:12:20,903 --> 01:12:21,983
So this is where you were

993
01:12:23,839 --> 01:12:25,708
This is where you walked

994
01:12:28,677 --> 01:12:29,978
And this is where we are?

995
01:12:36,885 --> 01:12:37,885
Yeah.

996
01:12:43,192 --> 01:12:47,162
All right, well you can help
me build this bed frame.

997
01:12:47,229 --> 01:12:49,069
I was pretty fucking
hammered when I sawed most

998
01:12:49,164 --> 01:12:53,769
of that shit up, so there's a
good chance it'll be just a bunch

999
01:12:53,869 --> 01:12:55,170
of random ass fucking pieces,

1000
01:12:55,237 --> 01:12:59,007
and I be sleeping
on the floor again.

1001
01:13:03,712 --> 01:13:06,615
Let's build a shed by mistake.

1002
01:13:09,885 --> 01:13:11,453
I could live in a
shed if I had to,

1003
01:13:12,454 --> 01:13:15,257
I could survive in small spaces.

1004
01:13:17,860 --> 01:13:18,860
With your walnuts?

1005
01:13:23,265 --> 01:13:24,700
Here, wanna play some music?

1006
01:13:26,101 --> 01:13:28,437
There's a hookup
right over there.

1007
01:13:28,537 --> 01:13:30,305
Cool, give you that thing.

1008
01:13:47,990 --> 01:13:55,990
♪ This is how it
feels to be alone ♪

1009
01:14:03,105 --> 01:14:07,743
♪ This is all that
we can call our own ♪

1010
01:14:08,944 --> 01:14:10,779
Can you hand me that hammer?

1011
01:14:12,681 --> 01:14:16,952
♪ Dust, flesh and bone ♪

1012
01:14:24,426 --> 01:14:26,595
You making plans for this thing?

1013
01:14:28,130 --> 01:14:30,966
No, that's just something
my dad... before he split,

1014
01:14:32,468 --> 01:14:33,812
he was always saying - "check if
something's a piece of shit

1015
01:14:33,836 --> 01:14:35,537
or not, feel the weight of it"

1016
01:14:36,538 --> 01:14:37,698
Cause if it ain't got weight,

1017
01:14:39,007 --> 01:14:40,209
it's worthless.

1018
01:14:48,283 --> 01:14:51,453
Uh, sorry, this shit
is putting me to sleep.

1019
01:14:54,389 --> 01:14:55,791
And I don't sleep either.

1020
01:15:14,910 --> 01:15:17,379
Will...?

1021
01:15:19,047 --> 01:15:20,047
Yeah?

1022
01:15:23,685 --> 01:15:30,092
Nothing.

1023
01:15:44,172 --> 01:15:46,241
It's awesome you have
a place to hide out.

1024
01:15:47,743 --> 01:15:49,611
Like anything could
happen here, right?

1025
01:17:57,005 --> 01:17:59,174
Wish I could fucking sleep.

1026
01:18:08,350 --> 01:18:09,710
I don't even know
what month it is.

1027
01:18:19,561 --> 01:18:21,196
I'm okay.

1028
01:18:28,036 --> 01:18:29,204
You don't have to be.

1029
01:18:56,431 --> 01:18:58,633
You want me to sleep here?

1030
01:19:02,871 --> 01:19:05,874
I would love it
if you slept here.

1031
01:20:29,324 --> 01:20:31,293
Stay

1032
01:20:34,663 --> 01:20:36,898
I just wanted to see what
was going on out here, man.

1033
01:20:41,803 --> 01:20:43,839
You want some
breakfast before you go?

1034
01:20:47,142 --> 01:20:49,744
Yeah, I was gonna go...
Buy a bunch of food

1035
01:20:49,845 --> 01:20:52,347
and I didn't wanna
just take your truck.

1036
01:20:52,414 --> 01:20:54,214
I mean, you might wonder
what the hell, right?

1037
01:20:55,250 --> 01:20:57,770
And then I didn't know where to
fucking go, because of my phone.

1038
01:20:58,720 --> 01:21:00,021
It's good,

1039
01:21:00,088 --> 01:21:01,088
you know?

1040
01:21:02,390 --> 01:21:03,390
You're a good egg.

1041
01:21:08,263 --> 01:21:09,263
Yeah, so are you.

1042
01:21:14,035 --> 01:21:15,035
Good egg.

1043
01:21:16,705 --> 01:21:19,741
Sleep is so fucking important!

1044
01:21:20,408 --> 01:21:21,408
I gotta write that down.

1045
01:21:27,048 --> 01:21:29,117
Hey, I just didn't
want you thinking

1046
01:21:29,217 --> 01:21:31,386
I came up here for
some sketchy reasons.

1047
01:21:32,454 --> 01:21:36,858
I just wanted to see...
that you're okay.

1048
01:21:38,059 --> 01:21:40,262
So that's why I'm...

1049
01:21:40,362 --> 01:21:41,529
It's okay.

1050
01:21:42,731 --> 01:21:44,099
It's okay that you're here.

1051
01:21:49,271 --> 01:21:50,271
Okay.

1052
01:21:51,239 --> 01:21:52,239
Alright.

1053
01:21:53,975 --> 01:21:55,377
Okay.
Okay.

1054
01:21:55,443 --> 01:21:56,611
Cool.
Cool.

1055
01:21:56,711 --> 01:21:57,711
Okay.

1056
01:22:00,215 --> 01:22:01,215
Good.

1057
01:22:01,416 --> 01:22:02,918
All right.

1058
01:22:23,939 --> 01:22:25,106
I can do better.

1059
01:22:27,776 --> 01:22:29,444
Yeah that was the one.

1060
01:22:37,686 --> 01:22:38,753
Okay.

1061
01:22:40,288 --> 01:22:41,289
Ow!

1062
01:22:51,266 --> 01:22:52,968
All right, I know
what we gotta do.

1063
01:24:02,370 --> 01:24:04,439
FUCK!!!

1064
01:24:18,953 --> 01:24:22,090
That a fuckin
horse? What is that?

1065
01:24:24,959 --> 01:24:27,062
Fuckin demons everywhere.

1066
01:24:30,465 --> 01:24:33,968
There's this homeless couple on
my block... I always see them,

1067
01:24:36,071 --> 01:24:37,072
just sitting there.

1068
01:24:42,911 --> 01:24:45,246
I just want to sit down,
I just want to do nothing.

1069
01:24:45,313 --> 01:24:49,818
I'm wanna tell them:
I know, I get it,

1070
01:24:49,918 --> 01:24:54,589
I'm there! When you can't -
move - one - more...

1071
01:24:56,724 --> 01:24:58,059
But I can't tell 'em.

1072
01:24:59,761 --> 01:25:01,096
My throat doesn't work.

1073
01:25:05,633 --> 01:25:07,235
Someone...

1074
01:25:08,103 --> 01:25:09,337
someone said to me,

1075
01:25:09,437 --> 01:25:11,072
just make sounds,

1076
01:25:12,273 --> 01:25:14,909
just to keep on making sounds.

1077
01:25:17,579 --> 01:25:19,848
There's so much
and I can't say it.

1078
01:25:24,285 --> 01:25:25,687
I have threshold, man.

1079
01:25:27,622 --> 01:25:28,622
I have a threshold.

1080
01:25:29,290 --> 01:25:30,859
That's all I'm saying.

1081
01:25:32,627 --> 01:25:34,462
What's your threshold?

1082
01:25:42,370 --> 01:25:43,972
Timothy,

1083
01:25:45,473 --> 01:25:47,275
Last time we talked together,

1084
01:25:47,342 --> 01:25:50,311
told me about this woman
in a hardware store...

1085
01:25:52,113 --> 01:25:55,483
apron... selling him something,

1086
01:25:55,550 --> 01:25:56,684
who...

1087
01:25:57,819 --> 01:26:01,556
thanked him for his service.

1088
01:26:03,658 --> 01:26:08,696
How he doesn't blame her, but...
he's so fucking confused.

1089
01:26:12,901 --> 01:26:16,037
Are you thanking me for
killing people in Sadr City

1090
01:26:16,137 --> 01:26:18,006
who were just -
driving down the road?

1091
01:26:19,908 --> 01:26:22,243
Or how about for ripping a
man in Samarra away

1092
01:26:22,343 --> 01:26:23,343
from his family?

1093
01:26:25,346 --> 01:26:27,182
Humiliating him, detaining him,

1094
01:26:28,983 --> 01:26:30,585
starving him, torturing him,

1095
01:26:30,685 --> 01:26:32,153
thousands and thousands of him?

1096
01:26:33,388 --> 01:26:35,390
Are you thanking me
for blowing up a school

1097
01:26:35,490 --> 01:26:37,559
or for blowing up a hospital?

1098
01:26:39,360 --> 01:26:43,097
Are you thanking me for
slaughtering a family in Mahmudiya?

1099
01:26:45,233 --> 01:26:48,736
Maybe you're thanking me
for collateral murder.

1100
01:26:50,271 --> 01:26:53,942
For SOP 360 rotational
fire on an entire village

1101
01:26:54,042 --> 01:26:55,877
in response to an IED.

1102
01:26:56,878 --> 01:26:58,179
Or you feel some gratitude

1103
01:26:58,246 --> 01:27:01,449
that we protected the interests
of Exxon - and laid down

1104
01:27:01,549 --> 01:27:06,020
our lives for Halliburton or
quadrupled profits for Raytheon.

1105
01:27:06,087 --> 01:27:08,456
Could you be thanking me for
Abu Ghraib?

1106
01:27:08,556 --> 01:27:10,625
Or just for taking the pictures?

1107
01:27:11,960 --> 01:27:15,430
No... you're thanking
me for the kill count.

1108
01:27:16,564 --> 01:27:19,067
200,000 dead civilians.

1109
01:27:20,235 --> 01:27:21,875
Or is it "thank you
for the drone strikes"

1110
01:27:21,903 --> 01:27:26,874
that destroyed Mosul, Ramadi,
Aleppo, Baghdad, Rakka...

1111
01:27:28,876 --> 01:27:31,212
Thank you for MST?

1112
01:27:31,279 --> 01:27:33,448
For burn pits?

1113
01:27:33,548 --> 01:27:36,951
Maybe I should thank you for standing
by while it was all happening.

1114
01:27:37,051 --> 01:27:39,487
I mean, I know you're not
thanking me for being a hero.

1115
01:27:39,587 --> 01:27:41,256
I was a pawn.

1116
01:27:48,896 --> 01:27:49,896
Anyway.

1117
01:27:51,833 --> 01:27:53,401
That's what I would've said.

1118
01:27:57,572 --> 01:27:59,107
I would never say all that.

1119
01:28:01,509 --> 01:28:02,810
That's what his death said.

1120
01:28:05,413 --> 01:28:06,681
A final fuck you.

1121
01:28:08,082 --> 01:28:09,817
All of them, just sitting there.

1122
01:28:09,917 --> 01:28:13,421
They don't even know
they're watching him die.

1123
01:28:17,492 --> 01:28:20,495
It's just the proportions
are off, you know?

1124
01:28:21,663 --> 01:28:23,698
Like why am I carrying
all this shit?

1125
01:28:25,300 --> 01:28:27,935
You'll never see a recruiter
in the Upper West Side.

1126
01:28:30,972 --> 01:28:32,040
Fuck it.

1127
01:28:36,511 --> 01:28:38,846
Three cheers for
the American dream.

1128
01:28:40,315 --> 01:28:42,884
The whole goddamn
world's nightmare, but...

1129
01:28:43,451 --> 01:28:45,053
our dream.

1130
01:30:12,373 --> 01:30:13,373
What?

1131
01:30:16,310 --> 01:30:17,745
What the fuck man?

1132
01:30:19,414 --> 01:30:22,817
Nothing, I'm just
fucking with you.

1133
01:30:24,419 --> 01:30:26,363
I just wanted to do one of
those war movie moments,

1134
01:30:26,387 --> 01:30:28,656
you know, where the
veterans like, oh fuck,

1135
01:30:28,756 --> 01:30:31,659
I'm going back there, and then
he like freaks the fuck out.

1136
01:30:34,162 --> 01:30:36,164
Some dude army crawling
at his kid's birthday

1137
01:30:36,264 --> 01:30:37,899
when a balloon pops.

1138
01:30:37,965 --> 01:30:39,567
Incoming!

1139
01:30:50,745 --> 01:30:51,945
I hate those fucking movies.

1140
01:30:53,414 --> 01:30:54,415
Yep.

1141
01:30:54,482 --> 01:30:56,517
Fuck American Sniper.

1142
01:30:56,617 --> 01:30:57,185
Fuck Hurt Locker.

1143
01:30:57,285 --> 01:30:59,821
Fuck Zero Dark Thirty.

1144
01:30:59,921 --> 01:31:02,857
Especially fuck
Saving Private Ryan.

1145
01:31:02,957 --> 01:31:05,693
Fuckin ra ra military bullshit.

1146
01:31:05,793 --> 01:31:06,928
Good War bullshit.

1147
01:31:06,994 --> 01:31:08,596
Like there can be a good one.

1148
01:31:09,130 --> 01:31:10,498
Fuck that.

1149
01:31:25,279 --> 01:31:26,447
Yo check this out.

1150
01:31:27,949 --> 01:31:29,851
This is the outer material
for a sleeping bag.

1151
01:31:31,953 --> 01:31:36,390
Doesn't have any date on it,
but I think it's like - Fifties?

1152
01:31:36,491 --> 01:31:37,625
Maybe even Forties?

1153
01:31:39,393 --> 01:31:41,195
It was the rain cover.

1154
01:31:43,664 --> 01:31:44,999
Keeps everything out.

1155
01:31:47,702 --> 01:31:49,342
This would make some
awesome paper, but...

1156
01:31:51,973 --> 01:31:53,893
It's also pretty fucking
awesome as it is, right?

1157
01:31:55,676 --> 01:31:57,178
I don't know what to do with it.

1158
01:32:03,184 --> 01:32:04,184
What's up?

1159
01:32:08,322 --> 01:32:09,924
We gonna have a staring contest?

1160
01:32:17,365 --> 01:32:18,365
What is it?

1161
01:32:19,367 --> 01:32:22,103
Sorry, I'm sorry I
can't... fucking talk...

1162
01:32:22,203 --> 01:32:25,106
Stop saying you're
fucking sorry, Jesus!

1163
01:32:29,176 --> 01:32:30,044
Come on, what is it?

1164
01:32:30,111 --> 01:32:31,111
Just... talk.

1165
01:32:34,048 --> 01:32:35,048
You're not mad?

1166
01:32:36,117 --> 01:32:37,618
Does it look
like a mad at you?

1167
01:32:38,920 --> 01:32:40,163
You're all here and
then you disappear,

1168
01:32:40,187 --> 01:32:41,789
you just left me there, man!

1169
01:32:41,889 --> 01:32:43,558
I left because of my own shit.

1170
01:32:49,463 --> 01:32:50,463
I know.

1171
01:32:52,600 --> 01:32:55,703
I don't know what I
told you about him...

1172
01:32:57,538 --> 01:33:01,242
Yeah, you... you told me.

1173
01:33:03,411 --> 01:33:05,913
Okay.

1174
01:33:05,980 --> 01:33:07,148
I don't always remember.

1175
01:33:13,588 --> 01:33:15,823
You know what
you're doing, man.

1176
01:33:16,657 --> 01:33:19,627
You know how to be with people.

1177
01:33:19,727 --> 01:33:21,729
You know how to be alone.

1178
01:33:21,796 --> 01:33:24,498
You have it, I mean, I
want to know how you...

1179
01:33:26,434 --> 01:33:28,936
You make it look easy,
man, just being here!

1180
01:33:31,272 --> 01:33:33,841
Nothing about
this is easy, okay.

1181
01:33:33,941 --> 01:33:35,743
I don't know what you're seeing.

1182
01:33:36,677 --> 01:33:37,612
I don't have this down

1183
01:33:37,678 --> 01:33:39,814
to some kind of fucking science.

1184
01:33:39,914 --> 01:33:41,682
All right, I'm
making it up as I go.

1185
01:33:43,250 --> 01:33:45,953
I'm just trying everything I
can think of from one moment to

1186
01:33:46,020 --> 01:33:49,657
the next that doesn't
hurt anyone or hurt myself or,

1187
01:33:51,158 --> 01:33:53,103
land me in some fucking abyss
where I just hate myself

1188
01:33:53,127 --> 01:33:54,127
to fucking death, so.

1189
01:33:58,633 --> 01:34:00,635
You know how to live.

1190
01:34:02,970 --> 01:34:04,972
No. I really don't.

1191
01:34:16,317 --> 01:34:17,218
That's what I'm doing, man.

1192
01:34:17,318 --> 01:34:20,788
I keep... It's like
sick, it's like,

1193
01:34:20,855 --> 01:34:25,626
I keep trying to fucking find
someone and grab them and be like,

1194
01:34:26,894 --> 01:34:28,996
okay, show me how
to fucking live!

1195
01:34:35,836 --> 01:34:37,171
Okay.

1196
01:34:37,238 --> 01:34:39,040
I'm catching on, all right.

1197
01:34:40,841 --> 01:34:45,379
This body, this being - mine.

1198
01:34:46,047 --> 01:34:48,482
Responsibility, mine!

1199
01:34:49,150 --> 01:34:50,150
Right?

1200
01:34:53,688 --> 01:34:55,322
Yeah, pretty much.

1201
01:34:58,059 --> 01:34:59,994
Fuck.

1202
01:35:04,165 --> 01:35:07,268
I wanna tear my fucking
skin off, man!

1203
01:35:07,368 --> 01:35:10,371
I fucking hate myself so much.

1204
01:35:12,707 --> 01:35:17,611
Fucking die, I hate
you, fucking die.

1205
01:35:25,953 --> 01:35:26,953
I'm here.

1206
01:35:34,562 --> 01:35:36,864
I feel a lot for you.

1207
01:35:41,402 --> 01:35:43,270
That's okay, isn't it?

1208
01:35:44,538 --> 01:35:46,307
I don't know.

1209
01:35:46,407 --> 01:35:47,407
What?

1210
01:35:52,913 --> 01:35:55,216
Maybe I came here to hurt you.

1211
01:36:01,822 --> 01:36:03,057
Everything hurts me.

1212
01:36:04,892 --> 01:36:06,292
There's nothing you
can do about it.

1213
01:36:20,441 --> 01:36:22,510
I don't want to be bitter.

1214
01:36:22,610 --> 01:36:25,846
I don't want to live that way.

1215
01:36:33,120 --> 01:36:34,922
That's what you know how to do.

1216
01:36:48,469 --> 01:36:51,372
I could barely walk across
those things with my boots on.

1217
01:36:52,473 --> 01:36:54,141
Do you ever take
those boots off?

1218
01:36:54,208 --> 01:36:54,508
Yeah.

1219
01:36:54,608 --> 01:36:55,976
Yeah?

1220
01:36:56,043 --> 01:36:56,710
Yeah.

1221
01:36:56,811 --> 01:36:58,546
I take a shower sometimes.

1222
01:36:58,646 --> 01:36:59,380
Yeah right.

1223
01:36:59,480 --> 01:37:00,281
Once a week at least.

1224
01:37:00,347 --> 01:37:01,827
That's very
attractive, that's dope.

1225
01:37:04,652 --> 01:37:06,220
I'm going to triple these up.

1226
01:37:06,320 --> 01:37:08,722
These are gonna be
strong motherfuckers.

1227
01:37:08,823 --> 01:37:09,823
All right?

1228
01:37:10,791 --> 01:37:12,202
I mean, I think double
is fine, but you know,

1229
01:37:12,226 --> 01:37:13,794
do you.

1230
01:37:15,663 --> 01:37:17,898
You're just putting
the - the birthday?

1231
01:37:17,998 --> 01:37:19,466
You're not putting the...?

1232
01:37:20,167 --> 01:37:22,570
Nah.

1233
01:37:22,670 --> 01:37:23,404
It's cool.

1234
01:37:23,504 --> 01:37:24,504
This is...

1235
01:37:26,841 --> 01:37:27,841
You know...

1236
01:37:27,875 --> 01:37:29,043
Remember life.

1237
01:37:42,690 --> 01:37:44,250
Woods are like
outer space to me, man.

1238
01:39:16,850 --> 01:39:17,952
Should I read it?

1239
01:39:18,018 --> 01:39:19,018
Yeah.

1240
01:39:20,287 --> 01:39:23,757
Marine cammies will be your
flesh, will be your pride.

1241
01:39:23,824 --> 01:39:25,526
My DI told me.

1242
01:39:25,626 --> 01:39:28,195
Too baggy, too
long, don't matter.

1243
01:39:28,295 --> 01:39:29,997
You'll fill them,
you'll blend in.

1244
01:39:31,198 --> 01:39:33,167
Learn to kill silently.

1245
01:39:33,267 --> 01:39:35,035
Learn to kill screaming.

1246
01:39:35,135 --> 01:39:36,971
Learn to take more
and more and more.

1247
01:39:39,139 --> 01:39:39,506
Remove your uniform.

1248
01:39:39,606 --> 01:39:41,642
It's been lying.

1249
01:39:41,709 --> 01:39:43,644
Remove it, cut it to pieces.

1250
01:39:43,711 --> 01:39:46,714
It's a lie, your
performance, your pride.

1251
01:39:46,814 --> 01:39:49,483
What tells me to kill,
who tells me to kill.

1252
01:39:50,851 --> 01:39:52,653
Hear the whispers
grow to shouting,

1253
01:39:52,720 --> 01:39:56,657
shouting from inside,
from that place begging no more,

1254
01:39:56,724 --> 01:39:59,827
shouting no more,
screaming no more.

1255
01:39:59,893 --> 01:40:02,629
Shout what you already
know, what your new tribe

1256
01:40:02,696 --> 01:40:04,198
has come to know.

1257
01:40:04,298 --> 01:40:08,135
The world you once loved has
brought you to this place.

1258
01:40:08,202 --> 01:40:12,673
The world you once loved
never was, never will be.

1259
01:40:40,534 --> 01:40:42,369
Do you need something?

1260
01:40:45,839 --> 01:40:48,909
Just tell your
brother to come over.

1261
01:40:54,048 --> 01:40:58,752
I have to call Herbert
again about the sink.

1262
01:40:59,553 --> 01:41:02,723
Every fucking day with this guy.

1263
01:41:04,058 --> 01:41:07,895
At least your brother dropped
that what's her name, huh?

1264
01:41:09,730 --> 01:41:11,231
Did he?

1265
01:41:11,799 --> 01:41:13,200
You would know.

1266
01:41:20,307 --> 01:41:22,242
He's stealing my Tramadol.

1267
01:41:26,246 --> 01:41:28,215
Either that or I'm
going fucking nuts.

1268
01:41:30,551 --> 01:41:32,086
<i>The right to
keep and bear a gun...</i>

1269
01:41:36,623 --> 01:41:40,127
You have no idea what
it's like...

1270
01:41:40,227 --> 01:41:43,964
Oh, that's your
father, always saying

1271
01:41:44,064 --> 01:41:45,799
"you have no idea what it's like

1272
01:41:45,899 --> 01:41:48,335
You have no idea what it's like"

1273
01:41:49,436 --> 01:41:50,504
You wouldn't remember.

1274
01:41:51,805 --> 01:41:52,805
You were too young.

1275
01:41:55,509 --> 01:41:58,512
I have an idea of
what it's like.

1276
01:42:00,747 --> 01:42:03,347
<i>We used to have the ten commandments
posted in our school rooms...</i>

1277
01:42:04,518 --> 01:42:08,655
<i>our students would see what God almighty
has said, thou shalt not murder...</i>

1278
01:42:09,356 --> 01:42:10,257
You see this?

1279
01:42:10,324 --> 01:42:11,859
You see this on my skin?

1280
01:42:18,198 --> 01:42:20,100
I can't stop taking this shit.

1281
01:42:29,376 --> 01:42:30,376
Look at me.

1282
01:42:32,813 --> 01:42:34,148
You have no idea...

1283
01:42:35,883 --> 01:42:37,484
The people I work with...

1284
01:42:39,319 --> 01:42:42,222
they think I'm contagious.

1285
01:42:46,360 --> 01:42:49,897
And that nigger downstairs
keeps staring at me.

1286
01:42:51,331 --> 01:42:52,331
He's nice.

1287
01:42:53,333 --> 01:42:54,468
He smiles.

1288
01:42:55,669 --> 01:42:57,838
But why is he standing there?

1289
01:43:00,841 --> 01:43:02,409
There's other places.

1290
01:43:09,716 --> 01:43:12,085
I didn't sleep again last night.

1291
01:43:13,187 --> 01:43:14,187
Just...

1292
01:43:14,988 --> 01:43:16,390
Just tell your
brother to come over!

1293
01:43:27,034 --> 01:43:29,903
I bought a stool last
summer... for my birthday

1294
01:43:30,437 --> 01:43:31,437
and uh...

1295
01:43:32,172 --> 01:43:34,107
I bought a notebook, also...

1296
01:43:34,208 --> 01:43:38,412
And I bought a round trip bus ticket
to the Port Authority bus terminal.

1297
01:43:38,512 --> 01:43:41,949
I walked to the Veterans
Administration hospital.

1298
01:43:42,049 --> 01:43:44,851
The disability I was claiming

1299
01:43:44,918 --> 01:43:46,787
was post traumatic
stress disorder.

1300
01:43:48,355 --> 01:43:50,715
I was interviewed by a Veterans
Administration psychiatrist.

1301
01:43:52,192 --> 01:43:55,596
"Do you know that most Vietnam
veterans with your diagnosis

1302
01:43:55,696 --> 01:43:57,965
killed themselves
a long time ago?"

1303
01:43:59,399 --> 01:44:04,238
At that time, 1970, 71... I was
experiencing brutal nightmares

1304
01:44:07,274 --> 01:44:08,442
every night,

1305
01:44:08,542 --> 01:44:09,977
night after night,
week after week,

1306
01:44:10,077 --> 01:44:11,211
I would wake up screaming,

1307
01:44:13,280 --> 01:44:15,382
fighting demons and ghosts.

1308
01:44:17,484 --> 01:44:19,319
And that psychiatrist told me

1309
01:44:19,419 --> 01:44:21,722
it was only going to get worse.

1310
01:44:24,758 --> 01:44:28,829
At that time... I was
having terrible depressions.

1311
01:44:30,397 --> 01:44:33,300
In hindsight, I would say...
I was close to being catatonic.

1312
01:44:35,269 --> 01:44:37,838
It took everything I had,
to put my feet over the edge

1313
01:44:37,938 --> 01:44:40,674
of the bed in the morning
and to stand up like a man.

1314
01:44:43,010 --> 01:44:45,245
And that psychiatrist told me

1315
01:44:45,312 --> 01:44:47,180
it was only going to get worse.
Never better.

1316
01:44:49,483 --> 01:44:51,985
One of the first lessons
I had to learn as a medic

1317
01:44:52,085 --> 01:44:53,954
was that in order
to treat the wound,

1318
01:44:55,188 --> 01:44:56,266
first we have to expose it.

1319
01:44:56,290 --> 01:44:59,293
That body armer that
used to protect you,

1320
01:45:00,594 --> 01:45:02,394
that camouflage that was
supposed to hide you.

1321
01:45:03,163 --> 01:45:04,443
Now it's just
getting in the way.

1322
01:45:07,968 --> 01:45:10,370
At that time...

1323
01:45:10,470 --> 01:45:12,350
the single biggest thing
in my mind was suicide.

1324
01:45:14,341 --> 01:45:15,621
It was not where,
it was not how,

1325
01:45:17,144 --> 01:45:18,144
it was only when.

1326
01:45:19,279 --> 01:45:20,881
Tonight. Tomorrow.

1327
01:45:21,648 --> 01:45:24,217
Just when.

1328
01:45:24,318 --> 01:45:26,953
I could not cross
a railroad track

1329
01:45:27,020 --> 01:45:28,388
without thinking of stopping

1330
01:45:28,488 --> 01:45:30,057
and putting my head on the rail.

1331
01:45:31,992 --> 01:45:35,228
I could not cross a high bridge

1332
01:45:37,331 --> 01:45:39,900
I probably spent 1000 hours on
the George Washington bridge,

1333
01:45:40,000 --> 01:45:42,369
pacing back and forth.

1334
01:45:42,469 --> 01:45:46,173
And that psychiatrist told me
it was only going to get worse,

1335
01:45:48,008 --> 01:45:49,008
never better.

1336
01:45:53,180 --> 01:45:54,681
So now. About 44 years later.

1337
01:45:54,748 --> 01:45:57,217
About 44 years later.

1338
01:45:57,317 --> 01:45:58,919
Another psychiatrist tells me

1339
01:46:00,520 --> 01:46:02,923
do you know that most Vietnam
veterans with your diagnosis

1340
01:46:03,023 --> 01:46:05,192
killed themselves
a long time ago?

1341
01:46:05,258 --> 01:46:08,395
As I thought of him, a
little poem came to my mind.

1342
01:46:11,698 --> 01:46:12,698
You called me monster.

1343
01:46:14,534 --> 01:46:17,237
You cornered me and trapped me.

1344
01:46:18,505 --> 01:46:23,009
You forced me to chew my leg
off... and to hobble

1345
01:46:23,076 --> 01:46:24,444
from one suicidal
day to the next.

1346
01:46:27,681 --> 01:46:28,715
It don't mean nothing.

1347
01:46:30,217 --> 01:46:32,217
That's great, you
wanna bring the troops home...

1348
01:46:32,252 --> 01:46:33,787
that's the campaign
you're runnin on?

1349
01:46:33,887 --> 01:46:35,722
Cool, we got a plan
to help you with that,

1350
01:46:35,789 --> 01:46:38,859
because we're the troops who've
been there, and done that...

1351
01:46:40,427 --> 01:46:42,271
And the cops, you know,
it's the middle of summer,

1352
01:46:42,295 --> 01:46:43,655
the cops are in
full battle rattle,

1353
01:46:45,399 --> 01:46:49,136
much fancier gear than we had,
in Iraq.

1354
01:46:49,236 --> 01:46:50,370
And they were hot as shit.

1355
01:46:50,437 --> 01:46:51,905
You could tell they
were miserable,

1356
01:46:51,972 --> 01:46:53,807
sweating.

1357
01:46:55,575 --> 01:46:59,780
And so we were talking directly
to the cops - tellin 'em, look

1358
01:46:59,880 --> 01:47:01,314
we know what y'all
are dealing with.

1359
01:47:01,415 --> 01:47:03,025
We been out there in the
heat and all this gear too,

1360
01:47:03,049 --> 01:47:05,485
it sucks, doesn't it?

1361
01:47:05,585 --> 01:47:08,064
You should just go home, cause...
you don't really need to be here

1362
01:47:08,088 --> 01:47:09,923
doing this shit with us.

1363
01:47:11,658 --> 01:47:15,162
Anyway, a couple of them
ended up walking off the line.

1364
01:47:15,262 --> 01:47:16,406
And... whole front rank of vets,

1365
01:47:16,430 --> 01:47:18,598
all in dress uniform,
carrying flags.

1366
01:47:18,665 --> 01:47:21,668
They stepped off and said,
I'm not going to like,

1367
01:47:21,768 --> 01:47:26,173
I'm not going to go beat a bunch
of fucking veterans carrying flags.

1368
01:47:28,475 --> 01:47:30,110
They weren't going to do it.

1369
01:47:30,177 --> 01:47:33,013
We kept telling them... we're going
to advance, we're going to advance.

1370
01:47:33,113 --> 01:47:35,081
And we kept advancing slowly.

1371
01:47:35,148 --> 01:47:38,985
Yeah, but we kept
saying we're unarmed

1372
01:47:39,085 --> 01:47:41,955
and we're here to
make a statement.

1373
01:47:42,789 --> 01:47:44,524
Hundreds of us there.

1374
01:47:45,792 --> 01:47:47,027
So after the long standoff,

1375
01:47:47,127 --> 01:47:49,296
they did end up
letting two of them in.

1376
01:47:50,664 --> 01:47:53,166
And they presented it and his
military affairs guy was like

1377
01:47:53,266 --> 01:47:55,535
Hey, this is a solid plan.

1378
01:47:55,635 --> 01:47:57,346
We want to talk to you
guys further about this.

1379
01:47:57,370 --> 01:47:59,973
Let's implement this
into our policy.

1380
01:48:01,508 --> 01:48:04,811
So. We thought everything's
good, the cops called it off.

1381
01:48:04,878 --> 01:48:06,158
Everybody was cheering, hugging.

1382
01:48:07,948 --> 01:48:09,850
And then we packed up
and went to the RNC

1383
01:48:09,950 --> 01:48:12,886
to try to do the same thing,
not nearly as successful there.

1384
01:48:15,121 --> 01:48:16,165
And you know the rest of the
story from there, you know?

1385
01:48:16,189 --> 01:48:18,058
Obama gets elected

1386
01:48:18,158 --> 01:48:19,025
the left goes to sleep

1387
01:48:19,125 --> 01:48:20,126
the war continues on

1388
01:48:20,193 --> 01:48:21,661
and here we are.

1389
01:48:22,896 --> 01:48:24,416
Go up on the
left just a touch...?