1 00:00:05,220 --> 00:00:07,850 ♪ It's Showtime tonight ♪ 2 00:00:07,929 --> 00:00:09,139 Previously on Black Monday... 3 00:00:09,220 --> 00:00:10,890 Oh! 4 00:00:10,970 --> 00:00:12,890 How are you gonna get Blair 5 00:00:12,970 --> 00:00:15,010 to just give us his Georgina shares once he's married? 6 00:00:15,095 --> 00:00:16,845 I'm gonna form a father-son reverse Diff'rent Strokes. 7 00:00:16,929 --> 00:00:18,599 What's up, queef? 8 00:00:18,679 --> 00:00:20,969 Keith is a...homo? 9 00:00:21,053 --> 00:00:22,763 All I want is a piece of what we built. 10 00:00:22,845 --> 00:00:24,795 If we're not gonna do this deal, I got to go. 11 00:00:24,887 --> 00:00:26,597 I am not a people person. 12 00:00:26,679 --> 00:00:28,759 Do you know who's really good? My partner, Dawn. 13 00:00:28,845 --> 00:00:31,425 Why else do you think she's got 15% of my company? 14 00:00:31,512 --> 00:00:34,142 ♪ dramatic music ♪ 15 00:00:41,929 --> 00:00:45,139 - Pull! 16 00:00:45,220 --> 00:00:46,550 Hurry! Use both nostrils! 17 00:00:46,637 --> 00:00:47,887 They're quacking at you, man! 18 00:00:47,970 --> 00:00:49,970 - Yeah! - Die, quackers! 19 00:00:50,053 --> 00:00:51,933 God, these graphics are so realistic. 20 00:00:52,011 --> 00:00:53,721 - Perfect score. - I have to kill ducks 21 00:00:53,804 --> 00:00:55,474 - after work. 22 00:00:55,553 --> 00:00:57,103 My kid is gonna plotz. His bar mitzvah's tomorrow. 23 00:00:57,178 --> 00:00:59,008 This thing is impossible to get. 24 00:00:59,095 --> 00:01:00,215 The line's bigger than the tits 25 00:01:00,303 --> 00:01:01,723 on the 'tute I paid to wait in it. 26 00:01:01,804 --> 00:01:03,514 Hey, speaking of fathers and sons and shit, 27 00:01:03,595 --> 00:01:04,965 I need a little advice, Keithy. 28 00:01:05,053 --> 00:01:05,893 That's what best friends are for. 29 00:01:05,970 --> 00:01:07,510 Ugh. Look, given that 30 00:01:07,595 --> 00:01:08,925 I'm the Muhammad Ali of pulling out, 31 00:01:09,011 --> 00:01:10,551 I don't have any sons of my own. 32 00:01:10,637 --> 00:01:12,297 To clarify, I'm as good at pulling out 33 00:01:12,387 --> 00:01:13,927 as Muhammad Ali is at boxing. 34 00:01:14,011 --> 00:01:15,221 He is terrible at pulling out. 35 00:01:15,303 --> 00:01:16,603 He's got, like, nine kids, five moms. 36 00:01:16,679 --> 00:01:18,759 More like Ali-mony. 37 00:01:18,845 --> 00:01:20,295 - Ugh. - Ugh, ugh. 38 00:01:20,387 --> 00:01:22,597 Look, I want to form a father-son relationship 39 00:01:22,679 --> 00:01:24,179 with Blair, you know, so I can get close enough 40 00:01:24,261 --> 00:01:26,141 to him to stab him in the back. 41 00:01:26,220 --> 00:01:28,050 Oh, buy his love. Like that Nintendo. 42 00:01:28,136 --> 00:01:29,546 I mean, right? That bad boy's gonna make 43 00:01:29,637 --> 00:01:31,177 my kid forget all about the time 44 00:01:31,261 --> 00:01:32,471 he walked in on me trying to hang myself. 45 00:01:32,553 --> 00:01:33,803 - What the hell? - Why can't you just 46 00:01:33,887 --> 00:01:35,217 jerk off like a regular guy? 47 00:01:35,303 --> 00:01:37,263 It's called asphyx-turbation, all right? 48 00:01:37,345 --> 00:01:38,505 You know, you choke your chicken 49 00:01:38,595 --> 00:01:40,385 while you choke yourself. 50 00:01:40,470 --> 00:01:42,510 I learned it from my friend in that band, uh, INXS. 51 00:01:42,595 --> 00:01:43,795 - It's amazing. - Buying love works. 52 00:01:43,887 --> 00:01:45,597 You know, I forgot my kid's birthday. 53 00:01:45,679 --> 00:01:47,219 I went and I got him one 54 00:01:47,303 --> 00:01:48,973 of the actual Darth Vader masks from the movie. 55 00:01:49,053 --> 00:01:50,263 Oh, uh, Return of the Jedi? 56 00:01:50,345 --> 00:01:52,255 No, I couldn't afford that, so I got the o-one 57 00:01:52,345 --> 00:01:54,175 from the rape scene in Revenge of the Nerds. 58 00:01:54,261 --> 00:01:56,761 But bonding isn't just about buying them expensive shit. 59 00:01:56,845 --> 00:01:58,505 It's about taking them to expensive shit, too. 60 00:01:58,595 --> 00:02:00,965 Blair was born in a cornfield. 61 00:02:01,053 --> 00:02:02,643 Everything impresses him, right? 62 00:02:02,720 --> 00:02:04,260 So just take him out 63 00:02:04,345 --> 00:02:06,255 to a VIP NYC night he'll never remember. 64 00:02:06,345 --> 00:02:08,005 - That's the ticket. - So parenting is 65 00:02:08,095 --> 00:02:10,005 just like dating, but with no sex. 66 00:02:10,095 --> 00:02:11,385 - And that's great, 67 00:02:11,470 --> 00:02:12,850 'cause I'm the Michael Jackson of dating. 68 00:02:12,929 --> 00:02:14,389 To clarify, I'm as good at dating 69 00:02:14,470 --> 00:02:17,220 as Michael Jackson is at dating kids. 70 00:02:17,303 --> 00:02:18,433 Brooke Shields. 71 00:02:18,512 --> 00:02:20,262 Jesus. It's 11:30. 72 00:02:20,345 --> 00:02:22,545 Can we please start the goddamn morning meeting? 73 00:02:22,637 --> 00:02:24,137 Hey, who wants to go double or nothing? 74 00:02:25,804 --> 00:02:27,854 - Yes! - 20 Gs you don't get one duck. 75 00:02:27,929 --> 00:02:29,929 All right, while you coke piñatas 76 00:02:30,011 --> 00:02:31,641 have been comparing nosebleeds, 77 00:02:31,720 --> 00:02:33,800 I secured a large chunk of public Georgina shares, 78 00:02:33,887 --> 00:02:36,637 which means if Mo can get Blair's family shares... 79 00:02:36,720 --> 00:02:38,600 "When Mo gets Blair's family shares." 80 00:02:38,679 --> 00:02:40,639 ...we're on our way to the 51% we need, 81 00:02:40,720 --> 00:02:42,260 but there's a twist. 82 00:02:42,345 --> 00:02:44,345 - Thank God. I was so bored. 83 00:02:44,428 --> 00:02:47,008 The quarter ends in 48 hours. 84 00:02:47,095 --> 00:02:48,215 If we file with this much on our books, 85 00:02:48,303 --> 00:02:49,683 everyone will know the shot. 86 00:02:49,762 --> 00:02:52,222 Our shell companies are full, so that means 87 00:02:52,303 --> 00:02:53,973 we need some people to hide the shares for us 88 00:02:54,053 --> 00:02:55,183 until the takeover. 89 00:02:55,261 --> 00:02:56,641 What about our overseas shells? 90 00:02:56,720 --> 00:02:58,640 We sold our overseas shells. 91 00:02:58,720 --> 00:02:59,930 By the seashore? 92 00:03:00,011 --> 00:03:01,011 - Oh! 93 00:03:01,095 --> 00:03:02,595 Come on, fellas. 94 00:03:02,679 --> 00:03:04,049 This is a tightrope. 95 00:03:04,136 --> 00:03:05,846 We need people who won't fuck us over 96 00:03:05,929 --> 00:03:07,469 when we need the shares back 97 00:03:07,553 --> 00:03:09,053 but who we don't mind fucking over 98 00:03:09,136 --> 00:03:11,426 by implicating in a felony, all right? 99 00:03:11,512 --> 00:03:13,602 Basically, our dearest family and friends. 100 00:03:13,679 --> 00:03:15,259 - Everyone I love is dead. - I'm not even a citizen. 101 00:03:15,345 --> 00:03:17,135 - I think, so... - All right. 102 00:03:17,220 --> 00:03:19,430 Wayne and Yass are out. Mo has no one in his life. 103 00:03:19,512 --> 00:03:21,052 I can park a chunk, but that leaves two more. 104 00:03:21,136 --> 00:03:22,466 - I can park one with Shira. - Good idea. 105 00:03:22,553 --> 00:03:24,013 Wait, wait, hold it. Wait, wait. Whoa, whoa. 106 00:03:24,095 --> 00:03:25,635 It's ridiculous. People love me. 107 00:03:25,720 --> 00:03:28,180 Uh, is that why you were just brainstorming 108 00:03:28,261 --> 00:03:29,681 about how to make people love you? 109 00:03:29,762 --> 00:03:31,182 - Oh! 110 00:03:31,261 --> 00:03:32,511 - She got you. - Thank you. 111 00:03:32,595 --> 00:03:33,425 Whatever. 112 00:03:33,512 --> 00:03:35,262 Fine, take the last one. 113 00:03:35,345 --> 00:03:37,005 And look, if you want to connect with Blair, 114 00:03:37,095 --> 00:03:38,295 just talk to his ass, okay? 115 00:03:38,387 --> 00:03:40,097 Open up. Find some common ground. 116 00:03:40,178 --> 00:03:41,468 It's not that hard. 117 00:03:41,553 --> 00:03:43,053 Nah, I'm just gonna go 118 00:03:43,136 --> 00:03:44,096 with the throw-a-Nintendo- at-it plan. 119 00:03:44,178 --> 00:03:45,888 That's what I'm talking about. 120 00:03:45,970 --> 00:03:48,010 Hold on, wait. You mean tha-that Nintendo? 121 00:03:48,095 --> 00:03:50,095 Oh, yeah, yeah. Blair is a fucking nerd. 122 00:03:50,178 --> 00:03:52,548 He is gonna love this chilling vision of our Jap future. 123 00:03:52,637 --> 00:03:54,177 Great jam sesh, guys. 124 00:03:54,261 --> 00:03:55,681 - It was actually a meeting. - Okay. 125 00:03:55,762 --> 00:03:57,512 - As you were. - All right, it's cool, yeah. 126 00:03:57,595 --> 00:03:58,755 I-I can get another one by tomorrow. It's fine. 127 00:03:58,845 --> 00:04:00,545 Oh, "Duck Hunt." 128 00:04:00,637 --> 00:04:03,507 I thought it was "Duh, Cunt." 129 00:04:03,595 --> 00:04:05,345 This makes a lot more sense. 130 00:04:05,428 --> 00:04:07,218 - Oh, my God. 131 00:04:07,303 --> 00:04:08,723 I bet he's gonna promote you. 132 00:04:08,804 --> 00:04:10,684 You are finally getting off the floor. 133 00:04:10,762 --> 00:04:12,552 About frickin' time. 134 00:04:12,637 --> 00:04:13,967 Babe, we don't know what this is gonna be tonight. 135 00:04:14,053 --> 00:04:15,803 Uh, the guy's unhinged. 136 00:04:15,887 --> 00:04:17,467 I walked in on him the other day masturbating 137 00:04:17,553 --> 00:04:19,683 to Hockey's Hardest Hits Volume Three. 138 00:04:19,762 --> 00:04:21,972 - He jerks off in the office? - They all do. 139 00:04:22,053 --> 00:04:24,353 Well, okay, whatever. 140 00:04:24,428 --> 00:04:26,258 How about you make it your promotion? 141 00:04:26,345 --> 00:04:27,795 You've literally been there for weeks. 142 00:04:27,887 --> 00:04:30,427 Babe, you don't really make Mo do stuff. 143 00:04:30,512 --> 00:04:33,142 He more sort of does stuff to you, 144 00:04:33,220 --> 00:04:35,300 like my gymnastics team doctor. 145 00:04:35,387 --> 00:04:37,257 You were supposed to start as a VP at one of the big three. 146 00:04:37,345 --> 00:04:38,795 Instead, you're stuck as a runner, 147 00:04:38,887 --> 00:04:40,717 and we're stuck living in this trash compactor 148 00:04:40,804 --> 00:04:42,684 that doesn't even have a trash compactor. 149 00:04:42,762 --> 00:04:44,262 Am I supposed to compact my own trash 150 00:04:44,345 --> 00:04:46,095 like some kind of piece of trash? 151 00:04:46,178 --> 00:04:47,678 It's not such a crazy ask. 152 00:04:47,762 --> 00:04:50,552 Just let my parents buy us one trash compactor. 153 00:04:50,637 --> 00:04:52,387 How many were you wanting? 154 00:04:52,470 --> 00:04:54,760 Tiff, I told you I am very uncomfortable 155 00:04:54,845 --> 00:04:57,005 with your parents paying for anything. 156 00:04:57,095 --> 00:04:58,755 - Ugh! - My time on the floor 157 00:04:58,845 --> 00:05:00,925 has made my algorithm 2.0 so much better. 158 00:05:01,011 --> 00:05:02,221 It better be better. 159 00:05:02,303 --> 00:05:03,723 You're working on it every night, 160 00:05:03,804 --> 00:05:05,604 and we barely see each other. 161 00:05:05,679 --> 00:05:09,549 And I am not even bringing up the no-sex stuff, 162 00:05:09,637 --> 00:05:10,717 which I shouldn't even be the one not bringing up. 163 00:05:10,804 --> 00:05:11,894 You should be. 164 00:05:11,970 --> 00:05:13,510 Not bringing it up? 165 00:05:15,220 --> 00:05:17,720 You know what? You're right. You're right. 166 00:05:17,804 --> 00:05:20,644 - Huh? - I should be more like you. 167 00:05:20,720 --> 00:05:22,930 - Wealthy? - Bitchy. 168 00:05:24,387 --> 00:05:26,347 I'm gonna go get that promotion. 169 00:05:26,428 --> 00:05:27,598 - Yes. - Tonight. 170 00:05:27,679 --> 00:05:29,429 - Tonight. Go. - Yes. 171 00:05:29,512 --> 00:05:30,642 - One more? - No, no. 172 00:05:30,720 --> 00:05:32,140 No more. 173 00:05:32,220 --> 00:05:35,220 Just--okay, um, well, I love you. 174 00:05:35,303 --> 00:05:37,393 ♪ upbeat electronic music ♪ 175 00:05:37,470 --> 00:05:40,010 The city that never sleeps. 176 00:05:41,387 --> 00:05:43,507 I'm really excited we get to hang out. 177 00:05:43,595 --> 00:05:45,885 I've been making great progress on my algorithm 2.0. 178 00:05:46,011 --> 00:05:49,011 Shut the fuck up real quick, Blair. 179 00:05:49,095 --> 00:05:51,345 This night isn't about work, son. 180 00:05:51,428 --> 00:05:53,678 It's about fun, son. 181 00:05:53,762 --> 00:05:56,432 You ever made eye contact with the Statue of Liberty? 182 00:05:56,512 --> 00:05:58,012 - No. - Oh, baby. 183 00:05:58,095 --> 00:05:59,885 This is gonna be great. 184 00:06:03,261 --> 00:06:05,181 Bad news, Shira. 185 00:06:05,261 --> 00:06:06,351 I'm gonna be a little late for dinner. 186 00:06:06,428 --> 00:06:08,258 This deal I'm working on is so hard. 187 00:06:08,345 --> 00:06:10,345 Aw, don't worry about it, monkey. 188 00:06:10,428 --> 00:06:13,098 We already ate... four hours ago. 189 00:06:13,178 --> 00:06:15,048 I was actually just sleeping 190 00:06:15,136 --> 00:06:17,216 because we have a very big day tomorrow. 191 00:06:17,303 --> 00:06:18,643 You're not gonna have to work 192 00:06:18,720 --> 00:06:20,800 all through our son's bar mitzvah, are you? 193 00:06:20,887 --> 00:06:23,387 No, no--I mean, but, you know, in work's defense, 194 00:06:23,470 --> 00:06:26,260 it is paying for this blessed celebration 195 00:06:26,345 --> 00:06:29,715 at the Plaza, you know, with Mr. Met prancing around, 196 00:06:29,804 --> 00:06:31,854 and Doc Gooden doesn't do an aliyah for free. 197 00:06:31,929 --> 00:06:34,469 No, you got to pay him... in drugs. 198 00:06:34,553 --> 00:06:36,223 You know, and drugs cost money, so... 199 00:06:36,303 --> 00:06:39,893 Okay, well, I look forward to seeing you extremely soon 200 00:06:39,970 --> 00:06:43,050 and all day long tomorrow. 201 00:06:43,136 --> 00:06:44,886 You and me holding hands, 202 00:06:44,970 --> 00:06:47,100 watching our boy become a bar mitzvah. 203 00:06:47,178 --> 00:06:48,598 - I love you. - Love you very much. 204 00:06:48,679 --> 00:06:50,469 - Bye-bye. - Love you. 205 00:06:50,553 --> 00:06:51,973 That should buy us a little while. 206 00:06:54,637 --> 00:06:57,257 To the star in Starlight Express. 207 00:06:57,345 --> 00:06:59,045 Mm, if I was the star, 208 00:06:59,136 --> 00:07:00,256 I wouldn't have to work three other jobs. 209 00:07:00,345 --> 00:07:02,045 - Mm. - No, I'm just another 210 00:07:02,136 --> 00:07:04,216 pair of skates in the chorus. 211 00:07:04,303 --> 00:07:06,933 And with the helmet on, you can barely even tell it's me. 212 00:07:07,011 --> 00:07:08,351 Oh, no, no, no, no, no, 213 00:07:08,428 --> 00:07:10,138 because I would know these legs anywhere. 214 00:07:10,220 --> 00:07:11,510 - Look at them. 215 00:07:11,595 --> 00:07:13,965 - These guys? These guys? - Oh! So beautiful. 216 00:07:14,053 --> 00:07:16,473 - Mmm. 217 00:07:17,512 --> 00:07:19,352 Are you okay? You seem distracted. 218 00:07:19,428 --> 00:07:21,008 No, it's fine. I... 219 00:07:21,095 --> 00:07:22,675 I just got to get Shira 220 00:07:22,762 --> 00:07:24,682 to park a shitload of stock by tomorrow, 221 00:07:24,762 --> 00:07:26,722 and she's already up my ass with a pair of cleats. 222 00:07:26,804 --> 00:07:28,434 Is that stock thing something I can help with? 223 00:07:28,512 --> 00:07:29,892 - No, don't worry about it. - No, I want to help. 224 00:07:29,970 --> 00:07:30,970 No, okay? 225 00:07:33,053 --> 00:07:36,353 I-I mean, no. She is gonna take care of it. 226 00:07:36,428 --> 00:07:38,888 And now let me take care of you. 227 00:07:38,970 --> 00:07:40,300 - No. Keith. Keith. - Come here. What? 228 00:07:40,387 --> 00:07:41,967 What? What? What? What? 229 00:07:43,679 --> 00:07:46,429 You're not making it any easier to leave her. 230 00:07:46,512 --> 00:07:47,972 - You said you'd tell her 231 00:07:48,053 --> 00:07:49,723 - about me. - And I did. 232 00:07:49,804 --> 00:07:52,264 You know, I said that this deal was hard and... 233 00:07:52,345 --> 00:07:54,045 - No. - It's not--it's not anymore. 234 00:07:54,136 --> 00:07:56,846 Okay. You're upset. What do you want me to do? 235 00:07:56,929 --> 00:07:59,639 In your world, people look at you like it's expected, okay? 236 00:07:59,720 --> 00:08:02,600 And in--in my world, people look at me like I'm infected. 237 00:08:02,679 --> 00:08:05,389 Clever. Well, I'm sick of being the other man. 238 00:08:05,470 --> 00:08:07,390 Well, you aren't the other man. 239 00:08:07,470 --> 00:08:10,600 You are the only man, okay? 240 00:08:10,679 --> 00:08:12,599 - No, Keith. No. - All righ--come on. 241 00:08:12,679 --> 00:08:13,889 - Mike, come here, come here. - It's over. It's over. 242 00:08:13,970 --> 00:08:15,220 - We lost it. We lost it. - Come on. No. 243 00:08:15,303 --> 00:08:16,763 I'm going to shower. 244 00:08:16,845 --> 00:08:18,465 I got Jane Krakowski and glitter all over me. 245 00:08:18,553 --> 00:08:19,683 Fuck. 246 00:08:21,720 --> 00:08:24,760 For Mom, we have Dubonnet with a twist. 247 00:08:24,845 --> 00:08:28,385 And for Dad, Dewar's, splash of soda, two cubes. 248 00:08:28,470 --> 00:08:30,510 I hate when you call them Mom and Dad. 249 00:08:30,595 --> 00:08:33,505 - It feels incesty. - We should be so lucky. 250 00:08:33,595 --> 00:08:35,965 I mean to have Spence as a son, 251 00:08:36,053 --> 00:08:38,223 not to have kids that have sex with each other. 252 00:08:38,303 --> 00:08:40,473 No, no, I know, Dad. I know. 253 00:08:40,553 --> 00:08:44,973 Dawny, Spencey, I got a surprise for you. 254 00:08:48,303 --> 00:08:52,103 I present to you Nefertitty. 255 00:08:52,178 --> 00:08:55,848 Wow. It's like her eyes are judging me wherever I go. 256 00:08:55,929 --> 00:08:57,969 It's the only piece I had left from my show 257 00:08:58,053 --> 00:08:59,723 at the Power Gallery. 258 00:08:59,804 --> 00:09:01,684 This new Afrotica series is really striking a chord. 259 00:09:01,762 --> 00:09:05,432 The whole show sold out-- first time in a decade. 260 00:09:05,512 --> 00:09:07,432 Yeah. I was the model for the baby. 261 00:09:07,512 --> 00:09:09,052 - Dad. 262 00:09:09,136 --> 00:09:11,386 Everyone, I got a surprise for you, too. 263 00:09:11,470 --> 00:09:13,140 - I love surprises. - Okay, okay, okay. 264 00:09:13,220 --> 00:09:15,760 - Okay, okay. - Um... 265 00:09:15,845 --> 00:09:18,465 well, I just wanted to tell you guys... 266 00:09:18,553 --> 00:09:20,643 - That I am-- - Pregnant! 267 00:09:20,720 --> 00:09:22,220 - Oh! Oh! - Yes! Oh, my God! 268 00:09:22,303 --> 00:09:23,933 Should you drink? Well, although, I did smoke 269 00:09:24,011 --> 00:09:25,721 a ton of ganja with you-- I guess it's okay. 270 00:09:25,804 --> 00:09:27,224 No. 271 00:09:27,303 --> 00:09:30,223 I'm not pregnant. I'm partner. 272 00:09:30,303 --> 00:09:32,183 At my firm! 273 00:09:32,261 --> 00:09:34,721 - That's my big news. - Oh. 274 00:09:34,804 --> 00:09:36,554 Congrats. That's really... 275 00:09:36,637 --> 00:09:39,007 We're not also pregnant by chance, are we? 276 00:09:39,095 --> 00:09:41,885 No, not pregnant. Promoted. 277 00:09:41,970 --> 00:09:44,220 And please don't be one of those guys that says "we." 278 00:09:44,303 --> 00:09:46,263 I just--I don't like it. 279 00:09:46,345 --> 00:09:48,005 Come on, Spence. Shit or get off the pot. 280 00:09:48,095 --> 00:09:49,635 - I'm trying. - What? 281 00:09:49,720 --> 00:09:52,720 Wait, Dad, in your analogy, I'm a toilet? 282 00:09:52,804 --> 00:09:54,224 No, no, I think what Dad is trying to say... 283 00:09:54,303 --> 00:09:56,553 - That's what he said. - ...is that... 284 00:09:56,637 --> 00:10:00,047 it might be time for us to focus on more important things. 285 00:10:00,136 --> 00:10:02,176 What's important to me right now is the career 286 00:10:02,261 --> 00:10:04,471 that I've worked tooth and nail for. 287 00:10:04,553 --> 00:10:06,433 I mean, seriously, I-I've lost teeth 288 00:10:06,512 --> 00:10:07,802 and nails doing this job. 289 00:10:07,887 --> 00:10:09,927 Which is the perfect opportunity for you to quit. 290 00:10:10,011 --> 00:10:12,141 - Your career's gonna-- - It'll be there-- 291 00:10:12,220 --> 00:10:13,760 - I make a very healthy living. - Your career will be waiting 292 00:10:13,845 --> 00:10:15,215 - after you have kids. - Would the men in this room 293 00:10:15,303 --> 00:10:16,303 just shut the hell up? 294 00:10:16,387 --> 00:10:17,847 Until your body can give life, 295 00:10:17,929 --> 00:10:19,849 then you don't get to say a damn thing about Dawn's. 296 00:10:19,929 --> 00:10:21,259 This is the '80s. 297 00:10:21,345 --> 00:10:23,715 A woman can be whatever she wants. 298 00:10:26,679 --> 00:10:28,509 I'm happy for you, baby girl. 299 00:10:28,595 --> 00:10:30,545 - Oh, yeah. 300 00:10:30,637 --> 00:10:32,637 - Thank you, Mom. - To you. 301 00:10:32,720 --> 00:10:34,010 I'm proud of you, Dawny. 302 00:10:34,095 --> 00:10:35,635 Mm-mm. 303 00:10:37,136 --> 00:10:38,676 Get ready. 304 00:10:38,762 --> 00:10:40,642 This is the hottest ticket in town. 305 00:10:40,720 --> 00:10:42,600 And we got killer seats. 306 00:10:42,679 --> 00:10:45,179 - Why is she crying? 307 00:10:45,261 --> 00:10:47,641 - Oh, she knows how it ends. - Oh. 308 00:10:47,720 --> 00:10:49,100 What are we seeing? 309 00:10:49,178 --> 00:10:51,178 - Death of a Salesman. - Oh. 310 00:10:51,261 --> 00:10:53,511 Yeah. You remember when that door-to-door vacuum salesman-- 311 00:10:53,595 --> 00:10:56,005 he crawl-space'd all those nurses? 312 00:10:59,011 --> 00:11:00,601 - Oh, my God. - Yeah. 313 00:11:00,679 --> 00:11:01,969 - More like "thank God." 314 00:11:02,053 --> 00:11:04,553 Glass is here, or we get Shamu'd by all the fluids. 315 00:11:11,970 --> 00:11:12,930 Whoa. 316 00:11:23,637 --> 00:11:28,177 Hey, Sheeshee. I'm so glad you waited up. 317 00:11:28,261 --> 00:11:31,351 Mm, I'm so glad you woke me up, Kiki. 318 00:11:31,428 --> 00:11:33,098 You're nervous about tomorrow, aren't you? 319 00:11:33,178 --> 00:11:34,348 - Mm. - It's gonna be a dream. 320 00:11:34,428 --> 00:11:35,548 - Mm. - I even picked 321 00:11:35,637 --> 00:11:38,137 the shortest haftarah portion, okay? 322 00:11:38,220 --> 00:11:40,260 I have a great idea. 323 00:11:40,345 --> 00:11:43,095 Since you're up, why don't you... 324 00:11:43,178 --> 00:11:46,968 give me a little signature right here? 325 00:11:47,053 --> 00:11:49,013 Right there. Yeah, look at that. 326 00:11:49,095 --> 00:11:51,295 Oh, oh, careful, careful. I got my perm set today, Kiki. 327 00:11:51,387 --> 00:11:52,847 Oh, okay. It looks great. 328 00:11:52,929 --> 00:11:54,509 Yeah, it looks really great. Okay-- 329 00:11:54,595 --> 00:11:56,135 What is this I'm signing? 330 00:11:56,220 --> 00:11:59,800 Oh, looks like a document. I don't know. Boring. 331 00:11:59,887 --> 00:12:03,007 I think if you just sign it, we'll just be done with it. 332 00:12:03,095 --> 00:12:04,595 Yeah. 333 00:12:04,679 --> 00:12:06,679 Where's the Nintendo? 334 00:12:06,762 --> 00:12:09,432 Uh, it's at the office. 335 00:12:09,512 --> 00:12:10,642 Keeping it safe. 336 00:12:10,720 --> 00:12:12,550 So, you know, if I just get 337 00:12:12,637 --> 00:12:15,467 a little, you know, "Shira" right here-a-- 338 00:12:15,553 --> 00:12:18,763 Or-a, why don't you go and get that Nintendo, 339 00:12:18,845 --> 00:12:22,045 bring it back, and then I'll sign this vague paperwork? 340 00:12:22,136 --> 00:12:23,846 I'm just--again, just thinking out loud... 341 00:12:23,929 --> 00:12:25,799 - Mm-hmm. - You sign it now. 342 00:12:25,887 --> 00:12:28,677 I get the Nintendo tomorrow on the way to Beth El. 343 00:12:28,762 --> 00:12:30,052 Two birds with one stone, yeah? 344 00:12:30,136 --> 00:12:31,756 - Or--just spitballing here... - Okay. 345 00:12:31,845 --> 00:12:34,135 - ...no. 346 00:12:34,220 --> 00:12:35,850 Okay. All right. 347 00:12:35,929 --> 00:12:37,799 Well, you seem like you have a really, uh, 348 00:12:37,887 --> 00:12:40,177 - strong path on this one. 349 00:12:40,261 --> 00:12:43,351 Uh, I will be right back. 350 00:12:43,428 --> 00:12:45,638 - All right. - And don't you wait up, okay? 351 00:12:45,720 --> 00:12:48,970 Aww. I'm going shluffy. 352 00:12:52,929 --> 00:12:54,469 I never even open a menu. 353 00:12:54,553 --> 00:12:55,853 I just order the most expensive shit, you know? 354 00:12:55,929 --> 00:12:58,139 - It keeps it exciting. - Oh. 355 00:13:02,512 --> 00:13:03,722 Oh. 356 00:13:04,887 --> 00:13:06,387 - Looks delicious. - Doesn't it? 357 00:13:06,470 --> 00:13:08,550 Mm-hmm. It's so fleshy. 358 00:13:08,637 --> 00:13:09,677 Yeah. 359 00:13:09,762 --> 00:13:11,302 Dig in. 360 00:13:11,387 --> 00:13:13,007 Here we go. 361 00:13:13,095 --> 00:13:15,425 - This is so fresh. - It's the best part. 362 00:13:15,512 --> 00:13:18,432 After you, friend. 363 00:13:18,512 --> 00:13:20,392 - Cheers. - Yeah. 364 00:13:25,553 --> 00:13:27,223 - Okay. 365 00:13:27,303 --> 00:13:29,893 - I'm sorry. I can't do this. 366 00:13:29,970 --> 00:13:33,390 I prefer my ground beef cooked and with cheese and on a bun. 367 00:13:33,470 --> 00:13:35,220 I'm from a town with one restaurant. 368 00:13:35,303 --> 00:13:37,183 This world, it's very overwhelming to me. 369 00:13:37,261 --> 00:13:38,721 No, I get it. 370 00:13:38,804 --> 00:13:40,434 I'm not really into this rich shit either, kid. 371 00:13:40,512 --> 00:13:42,932 I mean, I-I kind of grew up like you, you know? 372 00:13:43,011 --> 00:13:45,851 But instead of one restaurant, I had no parents. 373 00:13:47,345 --> 00:13:49,925 Hey, what's your favorite burger joint in the city? 374 00:13:50,011 --> 00:13:52,471 Well, I've been wanting to try this dive by our place-- 375 00:13:52,553 --> 00:13:54,473 uh, uh, Berger's Burgers, 376 00:13:54,553 --> 00:13:56,353 but Tiff's allergic to fast food, so... 377 00:13:56,428 --> 00:13:57,758 Hang on a minute. Berger's Burgers? 378 00:13:57,845 --> 00:13:59,095 - Yeah. - In Alphabet City? 379 00:13:59,178 --> 00:14:00,468 Yeah. 380 00:14:00,553 --> 00:14:01,893 I practically grew up there. 381 00:14:01,970 --> 00:14:04,510 - Are you serious? - Yeah. 382 00:14:04,595 --> 00:14:06,385 You want to go there, get out of here? 383 00:14:06,470 --> 00:14:08,970 - Uh, yeah. 384 00:14:09,053 --> 00:14:11,803 Uh, hey, come throw this shit in the trash. 385 00:14:11,887 --> 00:14:13,717 I just have to return my jacket. 386 00:14:13,804 --> 00:14:15,894 No, they tried to poison us. Fucking keep the thing. 387 00:14:21,178 --> 00:14:22,298 - Hey! 388 00:14:22,387 --> 00:14:23,547 Okay, ok-- 389 00:14:23,637 --> 00:14:24,927 Come on. Let me in. Here. 390 00:14:25,011 --> 00:14:27,351 Look, look, Shira and I, we broke up. 391 00:14:27,428 --> 00:14:29,298 It's over, baby. It's donezo, okay? 392 00:14:29,387 --> 00:14:30,967 I want to be Keith and Mike. 393 00:14:31,053 --> 00:14:32,723 I want to share everything with you. 394 00:14:32,804 --> 00:14:34,104 A-a place in Chelsea, a portmanteau. 395 00:14:34,178 --> 00:14:35,758 What do you want to call ourselves? 396 00:14:35,845 --> 00:14:37,095 You want to call ourselves, uh, Meith or-or Kike? 397 00:14:37,178 --> 00:14:38,758 - No, no. - No, no. Meith, Meith. 398 00:14:38,845 --> 00:14:40,465 Look, I want to be with you, okay? 399 00:14:40,553 --> 00:14:42,433 And I'm gonna tell her tomorrow after that bar mitzvah. 400 00:14:42,512 --> 00:14:43,682 I'm gonna be like, "Baruch atah, 401 00:14:43,762 --> 00:14:45,552 adiós, baby," okay? 402 00:14:45,637 --> 00:14:47,507 'Cause I love you. 403 00:14:49,553 --> 00:14:51,013 Come here, you. 404 00:14:51,095 --> 00:14:52,345 both: Mmm! 405 00:14:55,220 --> 00:14:56,970 - I'm shaking. - Yeah, you are. 406 00:14:57,053 --> 00:14:58,603 Um, we need to celebrate. 407 00:14:58,679 --> 00:15:00,179 Do you have, uh, champagne or something? 408 00:15:00,261 --> 00:15:01,891 - Yes, I'll get some. - All right, great, great. 409 00:15:01,970 --> 00:15:04,010 I'll get some. Oh, God. 410 00:15:04,095 --> 00:15:08,135 - Okay... 411 00:15:08,220 --> 00:15:10,850 - Uh, out of champagne-- - Yeah, sounds great! 412 00:15:10,929 --> 00:15:14,099 ♪ dynamic electronic music ♪ 413 00:15:18,595 --> 00:15:22,545 Oh! Fuck! Fuck. 414 00:15:22,637 --> 00:15:24,637 - Keith? Holy shit! 415 00:15:24,720 --> 00:15:26,800 Whoa! I'm fine! I'm fine! 416 00:15:26,887 --> 00:15:30,637 I'm fine. 417 00:15:30,720 --> 00:15:32,350 Why are you stealing my Nintendo? 418 00:15:32,428 --> 00:15:34,678 It's my Nintendo, okay? I bought this for you. 419 00:15:34,762 --> 00:15:36,802 And now I need it for my son, okay? So... 420 00:15:36,887 --> 00:15:39,217 If I don't bring it to my son, Shira's gonna fucking kill me. 421 00:15:39,303 --> 00:15:40,853 Don't you want to be happy? 422 00:15:40,929 --> 00:15:43,009 I am happy. I fucking love my family. 423 00:15:43,095 --> 00:15:44,715 What, do you want me to leave them for you? 424 00:15:44,804 --> 00:15:46,854 For--for--for sex? 425 00:15:46,929 --> 00:15:50,179 Wow. Just sex? 426 00:15:50,261 --> 00:15:52,101 Okay. Have a good night. 427 00:15:52,178 --> 00:15:53,638 - Okay. - Okay. 428 00:15:53,720 --> 00:15:55,220 - Okay. - Okay! 429 00:15:55,303 --> 00:15:56,683 - Fuck you. - You know what? 430 00:15:56,762 --> 00:15:58,182 Go blow on the cartridges, 431 00:15:58,261 --> 00:15:59,601 because that really works, Keith. 432 00:15:59,679 --> 00:16:00,929 Yeah, I'll give you something to blow on. 433 00:16:01,011 --> 00:16:04,391 - Oh, fuck! My arm. 434 00:16:04,470 --> 00:16:06,600 ♪ jaunty synth music ♪ 435 00:16:09,095 --> 00:16:12,135 Ah, there he is. Come here. 436 00:16:12,220 --> 00:16:13,850 Ah. Great to see you. 437 00:16:13,929 --> 00:16:15,389 H-how long's it been? 438 00:16:15,470 --> 00:16:17,100 Weren--weren't you here the night 439 00:16:17,178 --> 00:16:18,928 - that Dolly Parton was here? - Yeah, sure. 440 00:16:19,011 --> 00:16:20,101 Yeah! What a crazy night, right? 441 00:16:20,178 --> 00:16:21,468 Oh, what a night. 442 00:16:21,553 --> 00:16:23,853 Yeah, yeah. Missed this place. 443 00:16:23,929 --> 00:16:25,849 Can we get two classic Berger's Burgers, please? 444 00:16:25,929 --> 00:16:27,049 Sure. 445 00:16:27,136 --> 00:16:28,676 Let's do this. 446 00:16:28,762 --> 00:16:30,472 Oh, sorry. No change for this. 447 00:16:30,553 --> 00:16:32,683 Like I've ever wanted change. Get the fuck out of here. 448 00:16:32,762 --> 00:16:35,182 - Thanks, pal. Hey. 449 00:16:35,261 --> 00:16:37,551 - Yeah, no problem. - Hey, come around. 450 00:16:37,637 --> 00:16:39,847 - We miss you. - Yeah, good to see you. 451 00:16:39,929 --> 00:16:41,429 You really met Dolly Parton? 452 00:16:41,512 --> 00:16:43,142 Was she with Linda Ronstadt or Emmylou Harris? 453 00:16:43,220 --> 00:16:44,600 I-I'm a big trio fan. 454 00:16:44,679 --> 00:16:45,549 She was rolling pretty deep. 455 00:16:45,637 --> 00:16:47,047 - Ah. Wow. - Yeah. 456 00:16:47,136 --> 00:16:48,796 I mean, of course I know Dolly Parton. 457 00:16:48,887 --> 00:16:50,637 Who do you think bought her those cans? 458 00:16:50,720 --> 00:16:52,260 I'm joking. 459 00:16:52,345 --> 00:16:53,845 - Oh. - God did. 460 00:16:53,929 --> 00:16:56,049 Sometimes He does give with both hands. 461 00:16:56,136 --> 00:16:57,596 Actually, it's my second-favorite night 462 00:16:57,679 --> 00:16:58,719 I've ever spent in here. 463 00:16:58,804 --> 00:17:01,104 W-what was your first? 464 00:17:01,178 --> 00:17:04,098 Uh... 465 00:17:04,178 --> 00:17:06,928 Uh...I grew up in an orphanage not too far from here-- 466 00:17:07,011 --> 00:17:08,431 right around the corner, actually-- 467 00:17:08,512 --> 00:17:09,892 and the smell from this place would just go 468 00:17:09,970 --> 00:17:11,510 all throughout the neighborhood. 469 00:17:11,595 --> 00:17:14,845 And o--and one day, 1961, I ran in here. 470 00:17:14,929 --> 00:17:16,759 I grabbed a burger right off the counter, 471 00:17:16,845 --> 00:17:18,715 and I'm thinking, "Oh, man, I'm gonna finally taste this thing 472 00:17:18,804 --> 00:17:21,144 I've been jacking it to all my life." 473 00:17:21,220 --> 00:17:23,470 But old man Berger, God rest his soul-- 474 00:17:23,553 --> 00:17:25,053 a lot faster than he looked. 475 00:17:25,136 --> 00:17:26,596 - Hmm. - Caught me. 476 00:17:26,679 --> 00:17:28,259 He didn't, you know, 477 00:17:28,345 --> 00:17:29,845 beat my ass or call the cops or anything. 478 00:17:29,929 --> 00:17:31,719 He gave me a job. 479 00:17:31,804 --> 00:17:32,644 - What? - Yeah. 480 00:17:32,720 --> 00:17:33,890 And that night, 481 00:17:33,970 --> 00:17:35,970 after my first hard day of work 482 00:17:36,053 --> 00:17:38,603 throwing out trash and mopping, sweeping, all of that, 483 00:17:38,679 --> 00:17:40,639 I cooked myself a burger back there. 484 00:17:40,720 --> 00:17:43,220 - And God damn it-- - Best burger of your life? 485 00:17:43,303 --> 00:17:46,303 No, undercooked it. Nearly prolapsed my anus. 486 00:17:46,387 --> 00:17:48,757 But when I got out of the hospital the next night, 487 00:17:48,845 --> 00:17:50,845 I came back here, and Bergy cooked me a burger. 488 00:17:50,929 --> 00:17:52,969 - And that motherfucking-- - I'm sorry, you-- 489 00:17:53,053 --> 00:17:55,643 you immediately came back and ate another burger? 490 00:17:55,720 --> 00:17:57,180 The point is, Blair, it was dope. 491 00:17:57,261 --> 00:17:59,141 Huh. 492 00:17:59,220 --> 00:18:01,050 That's what Tiff doesn't get, 'cause she was born with money. 493 00:18:01,136 --> 00:18:02,756 Oh, yeah, the whole jeans thing. 494 00:18:02,845 --> 00:18:04,635 Yeah, yeah, and she wants to use her parents' money 495 00:18:04,720 --> 00:18:06,470 for everything. 496 00:18:06,553 --> 00:18:08,763 - It's so annoying. - Well... 497 00:18:08,845 --> 00:18:10,465 Don't throw the whole baby out with the bathwater. 498 00:18:10,553 --> 00:18:11,973 - Here you go. - Oh, look at this. 499 00:18:12,053 --> 00:18:14,013 - Let's dig in. - Oh, thanks. 500 00:18:14,095 --> 00:18:15,755 And so Reagan is cutting all of the funding for the arts. 501 00:18:15,845 --> 00:18:17,095 Ugh. I wish he would've thought of that 502 00:18:17,178 --> 00:18:18,598 - before his movies. 503 00:18:18,679 --> 00:18:20,179 I didn't hate the one with the monkey. 504 00:18:20,261 --> 00:18:21,801 You know, Mom, now that I'm a partner, 505 00:18:21,887 --> 00:18:23,347 I could talk to the firm 506 00:18:23,428 --> 00:18:25,388 about maybe funding an endowment opportunity. 507 00:18:25,470 --> 00:18:26,680 Speaking of opportunities, 508 00:18:26,762 --> 00:18:28,392 I actually have one for you guys. 509 00:18:28,470 --> 00:18:29,850 Maybe make some easy money. 510 00:18:29,929 --> 00:18:31,929 Ooh, my favorite kind. 511 00:18:32,011 --> 00:18:35,511 Mine is the rupee. It's an Indian currency. 512 00:18:35,595 --> 00:18:39,255 It's a fun word, too-- rupee. 513 00:18:39,345 --> 00:18:41,385 Rupee. 514 00:18:41,470 --> 00:18:43,680 Yeah, well, all you'd have to do is just hold some shares 515 00:18:43,762 --> 00:18:45,642 for us for a few months, 516 00:18:45,720 --> 00:18:46,760 and then, you know, when we take them back, 517 00:18:46,845 --> 00:18:48,595 you'd get a nice payday. 518 00:18:48,679 --> 00:18:49,849 Easy-peasy. 519 00:18:49,929 --> 00:18:51,719 Uh, no, thank you, baby. 520 00:18:51,804 --> 00:18:53,354 I don't know, Ruth. 521 00:18:53,428 --> 00:18:54,798 Uh, things are kind of tight right now. 522 00:18:54,887 --> 00:18:56,717 We don't need any charity, Walt. 523 00:18:56,804 --> 00:18:59,394 You're about to make tenure, and as I mentioned, 524 00:18:59,470 --> 00:19:01,970 all my pieces from my Power Gallery show sold out. 525 00:19:02,053 --> 00:19:04,013 Mom, this isn't charity. 526 00:19:04,095 --> 00:19:05,425 You'd actually be earning the money. 527 00:19:05,512 --> 00:19:07,852 This helps me, and it's real money. 528 00:19:07,929 --> 00:19:11,799 Real money is honest money, okay? 529 00:19:11,887 --> 00:19:13,597 I don't get it. 530 00:19:13,679 --> 00:19:15,469 You just said you were proud of me. 531 00:19:15,553 --> 00:19:19,803 No, I said I was happy for you. Not proud. 532 00:19:19,887 --> 00:19:21,547 What happened to "this is the '80s, 533 00:19:21,637 --> 00:19:23,137 a woman can be whatever she wants"? 534 00:19:23,220 --> 00:19:24,640 That's the point. You can. 535 00:19:24,720 --> 00:19:26,760 So why would you choose to be a crook? 536 00:19:26,845 --> 00:19:27,965 "Hold shares." Come on. 537 00:19:28,053 --> 00:19:31,143 I'm not dumb, and neither are you. 538 00:19:31,220 --> 00:19:33,680 You are a brilliant, thoughtful woman. 539 00:19:33,762 --> 00:19:35,892 Make something besides just money for yourself. 540 00:19:35,970 --> 00:19:37,430 - Yummy. - It's not your fault 541 00:19:37,512 --> 00:19:39,012 that we put you in that private school 542 00:19:39,095 --> 00:19:40,885 with all those rich white kids. 543 00:19:40,970 --> 00:19:43,600 But now you're a-- you're a yuppie. 544 00:19:43,679 --> 00:19:45,429 Mmm. 545 00:19:45,512 --> 00:19:49,012 No, Mom, actually, I am a buppie. 546 00:19:49,095 --> 00:19:50,595 And you know what? I'm proud of it. 547 00:19:50,679 --> 00:19:53,469 Because all of our hippie parents fuck-- 548 00:19:53,553 --> 00:19:55,433 Messed everything up. 549 00:19:55,512 --> 00:19:57,472 Why do you think your neighborhood is so bad now? 550 00:19:57,553 --> 00:20:00,473 Hmm? Money is the answer. 551 00:20:00,553 --> 00:20:03,393 Not protesting or painting porn. 552 00:20:03,470 --> 00:20:05,890 Dawn, don't bring your mother's porno into this. 553 00:20:05,970 --> 00:20:08,470 I think it's tasteful and arousing. 554 00:20:08,553 --> 00:20:09,933 Baby, why don't you just calm down? 555 00:20:10,011 --> 00:20:11,931 Don't tell me what to do. 556 00:20:12,011 --> 00:20:14,221 And you're drunk, and you have surgery in the morning! 557 00:20:14,303 --> 00:20:15,643 You know what? I can do what I want. 558 00:20:15,720 --> 00:20:18,220 And if I want to be a barren robber baron, 559 00:20:18,303 --> 00:20:20,223 then so be it. 560 00:20:24,595 --> 00:20:26,345 Most of the time, I just walk around that office 561 00:20:26,428 --> 00:20:28,218 feeling like one of the chickens 562 00:20:28,303 --> 00:20:29,853 my dad used to make me cut the head off of. 563 00:20:29,929 --> 00:20:31,259 Oh, my God, how many dad stories 564 00:20:31,345 --> 00:20:32,965 are we gonna have to listen to? 565 00:20:33,053 --> 00:20:34,723 - Oh, I'm sorry, I have a dad. 566 00:20:34,804 --> 00:20:37,354 - And you don't. 567 00:20:37,428 --> 00:20:39,138 But seriously, how do you guys get it done? 568 00:20:39,220 --> 00:20:40,890 I just don't feel like there's enough hours in the day. 569 00:20:40,970 --> 00:20:42,050 Cocaine. 570 00:20:44,720 --> 00:20:48,050 I'm dead serious. 571 00:20:48,136 --> 00:20:51,256 - Oh, my God. - Yeah, watch and learn. 572 00:20:55,553 --> 00:20:56,853 Ta-da. 573 00:20:58,595 --> 00:21:00,715 - Should I try some? - I don't think so. 574 00:21:02,261 --> 00:21:03,391 No, you don't want to do this. 575 00:21:03,470 --> 00:21:04,970 You can't handle this. Forget it. 576 00:21:05,053 --> 00:21:08,303 Uh, you don't know what I can handle. 577 00:21:10,053 --> 00:21:11,803 Okay. 578 00:21:14,637 --> 00:21:16,097 Okay. 579 00:21:23,220 --> 00:21:24,850 I feel more successful already. 580 00:21:24,929 --> 00:21:27,219 - You little coke whore. 581 00:21:27,303 --> 00:21:29,263 - Scarface! 582 00:21:32,345 --> 00:21:33,715 Okay, Bobby, boy. 583 00:21:33,804 --> 00:21:35,474 Say hello to Vanessa, the family... 584 00:21:35,553 --> 00:21:37,013 - Thanks! 585 00:21:37,095 --> 00:21:39,425 - And off we go. - Thank you. 586 00:21:39,512 --> 00:21:41,392 - After you. - Have a good day. 587 00:21:41,470 --> 00:21:42,760 Yeah, you too. 588 00:21:42,845 --> 00:21:45,635 Who's Bobby? And who's Vanessa? 589 00:21:45,720 --> 00:21:47,220 Who cares? 590 00:21:47,303 --> 00:21:48,723 ♪ Tears for Fears' "Shout" ♪ 591 00:21:48,804 --> 00:21:50,014 ♪ dark electronic music ♪ 592 00:21:51,387 --> 00:21:53,797 ♪ Shout, shout ♪ 593 00:21:53,887 --> 00:21:56,257 ♪ Let it all out ♪ 594 00:21:56,345 --> 00:22:00,425 ♪ These are the things I can do without ♪ 595 00:22:00,512 --> 00:22:02,762 ♪ Come on ♪ 596 00:22:02,845 --> 00:22:05,255 ♪ I'm talking to you ♪ 597 00:22:05,345 --> 00:22:07,175 ♪ Come on ♪ 598 00:22:10,887 --> 00:22:13,047 ♪ Shout, shout ♪ 599 00:22:13,136 --> 00:22:15,676 ♪ Let it all out ♪ 600 00:22:15,762 --> 00:22:19,892 ♪ These are the things I can do without ♪ 601 00:22:19,970 --> 00:22:22,600 ♪ Come on ♪ 602 00:22:22,679 --> 00:22:24,759 ♪ I'm talking to you ♪ 603 00:22:24,845 --> 00:22:25,675 ♪ Come on ♪ 604 00:22:29,387 --> 00:22:34,007 ♪ In violent times ♪ 605 00:22:34,095 --> 00:22:39,005 ♪ You shouldn't have to sell your soul ♪ 606 00:22:39,095 --> 00:22:43,965 ♪ In black and white ♪ 607 00:22:44,053 --> 00:22:49,013 ♪ They really, really ought to know ♪ 608 00:22:49,095 --> 00:22:52,345 ♪ Those one-track minds ♪ 609 00:22:54,261 --> 00:22:57,511 ♪ That took you for a working boy ♪ 610 00:22:59,261 --> 00:23:01,721 ♪ Kiss them good-bye ♪ 611 00:23:03,553 --> 00:23:07,473 ♪ You shouldn't have to jump for joy ♪ 612 00:23:11,053 --> 00:23:13,103 Oh, God. 613 00:23:13,178 --> 00:23:15,008 - Oh. 614 00:23:15,095 --> 00:23:18,795 The moon is so much brighter when you're on cocaine. 615 00:23:18,887 --> 00:23:20,677 Yeah, that's the sun, Blair. 616 00:23:23,345 --> 00:23:25,255 Okay, well, I'm late for Jew church. 617 00:23:25,345 --> 00:23:26,885 Why don't you try to get some rest? 618 00:23:26,970 --> 00:23:28,470 Thank you. Thank you. That was--that was a great-- 619 00:23:28,553 --> 00:23:30,183 that was a great night. 620 00:23:30,261 --> 00:23:31,511 - Yeah, it was a great night. - Yeah, yeah. 621 00:23:31,595 --> 00:23:33,795 - Okay. - Oh, um, uh... 622 00:23:33,887 --> 00:23:35,797 may--may I have a promotion, please? 623 00:23:35,887 --> 00:23:37,757 Um, uh, for the following reasons-- 624 00:23:37,845 --> 00:23:39,635 One, I'm a very hard worker. B, the algorithm, at this-- 625 00:23:39,720 --> 00:23:42,470 You know what? Yeah. 626 00:23:42,553 --> 00:23:44,683 Why not? I dub thee promoted. Fuck it. 627 00:23:44,762 --> 00:23:47,392 Yeah? 628 00:23:47,470 --> 00:23:49,140 - Thank you. Thank you. - Yeah. 629 00:23:49,220 --> 00:23:50,640 - Thank you. - Yeah. You have a good night. 630 00:23:50,720 --> 00:23:53,220 - Yeah, you too, you too. - Oh, hey, wait a minute. 631 00:23:53,303 --> 00:23:54,643 I forgot. I got to give this to you. 632 00:23:57,261 --> 00:23:59,351 All right, take it easy. 633 00:23:59,428 --> 00:24:02,048 ♪ Shout, let it all out ♪ 634 00:24:05,512 --> 00:24:07,682 Tiff, have you ever had sex with a guy 635 00:24:07,762 --> 00:24:09,552 with a huge promoti-- 636 00:24:12,845 --> 00:24:14,295 What? 637 00:24:16,970 --> 00:24:18,890 What the fuck did you do? 638 00:24:18,970 --> 00:24:22,140 Before you spaz out, check out... 639 00:24:22,220 --> 00:24:24,180 how cool this is. 640 00:24:24,261 --> 00:24:26,391 Ah! 641 00:24:26,470 --> 00:24:27,890 - We talked about this. 642 00:24:27,970 --> 00:24:29,550 You know how it makes me feel 643 00:24:29,637 --> 00:24:31,967 when you--y-y-you take things from your parents 644 00:24:32,053 --> 00:24:33,723 that I should be providing. 645 00:24:33,804 --> 00:24:34,974 - I asked you to not-- - You know what? No. 646 00:24:35,053 --> 00:24:36,603 - I am so done. - Take my dick 647 00:24:36,679 --> 00:24:38,639 and put it in the trash compactor. 648 00:24:38,720 --> 00:24:40,220 - That's what you want to do-- - Cannot hear you. 649 00:24:40,303 --> 00:24:42,143 Just call your parents and have them come over. 650 00:24:42,220 --> 00:24:43,890 Make your dad come over. 651 00:24:43,970 --> 00:24:45,800 He can take my dick and put it in the trash compactor. 652 00:24:45,887 --> 00:24:48,297 You know what? Stop being such a puss 'cause my dad has money. 653 00:24:48,387 --> 00:24:50,387 You know what? Fuck your dad. 654 00:24:50,470 --> 00:24:52,010 I would rather fuck my father! 655 00:24:52,095 --> 00:24:54,045 - No shit! - My mom, too. 656 00:24:54,136 --> 00:24:56,046 She could finger me with more gusto! 657 00:24:56,136 --> 00:24:59,716 Great! All the fingers in the world aren't gonna satisfy you! 658 00:25:12,637 --> 00:25:14,887 Way to go, Brad. Looking great. 659 00:25:14,970 --> 00:25:17,010 - Where you been, Kookoo? 660 00:25:17,095 --> 00:25:19,255 Just getting the Nintendo, Shushu... 661 00:25:19,345 --> 00:25:21,005 from the office. 662 00:25:21,095 --> 00:25:22,635 - Mm-hmm. - Maybe we can, you know, 663 00:25:22,720 --> 00:25:24,890 sign these papers? 664 00:25:24,970 --> 00:25:26,550 You listen to me, Keith. 665 00:25:26,637 --> 00:25:28,047 You're going to prison. 666 00:25:28,136 --> 00:25:30,636 Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow, 667 00:25:30,720 --> 00:25:33,600 but someday, and probably for the rest of your life. 668 00:25:33,679 --> 00:25:35,599 And I'm not gonna allow you to take me 669 00:25:35,679 --> 00:25:36,969 and our beautiful family down with you. 670 00:25:37,053 --> 00:25:38,683 Eat shit! 671 00:25:38,762 --> 00:25:40,472 Sorry. Great job there. 672 00:25:40,553 --> 00:25:41,683 We're so proud of you. 673 00:25:41,762 --> 00:25:43,472 Mommy and Daddy love you so much. 674 00:25:43,553 --> 00:25:45,683 - Love you so much. So much. - So much. 675 00:25:50,470 --> 00:25:51,600 Dad. 676 00:25:51,679 --> 00:25:53,929 Hey, look who it is. The big man. 677 00:25:54,011 --> 00:25:56,851 Doc Gooden's been in the bathroom for, like, 45 minutes! 678 00:25:56,929 --> 00:25:58,759 - Is Mr. Met gonna make it? 679 00:25:58,845 --> 00:26:00,795 - I told everyone he'd be here. - Well, guess what. 680 00:26:00,887 --> 00:26:02,847 Tell your friends they got to be disappointed, okay? 681 00:26:02,929 --> 00:26:05,549 'Cause Mr. Met ain't coming. 682 00:26:05,637 --> 00:26:10,177 Ladies and gentlemen, introducing Mr. Met! 683 00:26:15,720 --> 00:26:17,430 He came. 684 00:26:17,512 --> 00:26:19,392 He came! 685 00:26:19,470 --> 00:26:21,430 I'd know those legs anywhere. 686 00:26:21,512 --> 00:26:23,392 That's a weird thing to say. 687 00:26:23,470 --> 00:26:25,100 Isn't his giant baseball head kind of his calling card? 688 00:26:25,178 --> 00:26:26,718 Yeah, shh, shh, shh. 689 00:26:26,804 --> 00:26:29,104 ♪ I only wanted someone... ♪ 690 00:26:29,178 --> 00:26:31,598 Looking good, Mr. Met! Whoo! 691 00:26:32,970 --> 00:26:33,890 Hey. 692 00:26:33,970 --> 00:26:35,680 Hey! 693 00:26:35,762 --> 00:26:39,262 Uh...great job out there. 694 00:26:40,679 --> 00:26:42,639 Thanks for coming. 695 00:26:44,929 --> 00:26:46,599 Look, want to know the real reason 696 00:26:46,679 --> 00:26:49,259 why I didn't let you park those shares? 697 00:26:49,345 --> 00:26:52,295 Because if something goes bad, 698 00:26:52,387 --> 00:26:55,677 you are the only person in my life 699 00:26:55,762 --> 00:26:58,262 that I can't live without. 700 00:27:02,553 --> 00:27:04,303 Can you maybe take off the head? 701 00:27:04,387 --> 00:27:08,097 'Cause I cannot gauge how any of this is landing. 702 00:27:08,178 --> 00:27:11,138 ♪ sweet music ♪ 703 00:27:14,845 --> 00:27:18,425 If Shira won't take those shares, I will. 704 00:27:18,512 --> 00:27:20,302 No. Why? 705 00:27:20,387 --> 00:27:22,047 'Cause I would like to make enough money so I don't 706 00:27:22,136 --> 00:27:24,176 have to prance around for a bunch of spoiled brats 707 00:27:24,261 --> 00:27:26,891 in an off-brand Señor Met costume I got in Chinatown 708 00:27:26,970 --> 00:27:29,180 'cause you couldn't get the real one to show up. 709 00:27:29,261 --> 00:27:30,721 Come here, you. 710 00:27:30,804 --> 00:27:32,934 Uh, blessed day. 711 00:27:33,011 --> 00:27:35,261 - Uh... 712 00:27:40,553 --> 00:27:43,103 All right, go and enjoy the party. 713 00:27:53,553 --> 00:27:56,553 Oh! A board game. 714 00:27:56,637 --> 00:27:58,637 Okay, that's gonna pay for college. Thank you. 715 00:27:58,720 --> 00:28:00,550 Your cousins are a bunch of schnorrers. 716 00:28:00,637 --> 00:28:02,677 Thank you. Thank you. Very sweet. 717 00:28:02,762 --> 00:28:04,852 You guys get rid of your shares? 718 00:28:04,929 --> 00:28:07,049 Yep. Could not have been a simpler process. 719 00:28:07,136 --> 00:28:08,426 Totally remembered to do that. 720 00:28:08,512 --> 00:28:10,222 Who'd you go with? 721 00:28:18,345 --> 00:28:19,845 What's this? 722 00:28:24,095 --> 00:28:25,675 - That's my kid. - I know. 723 00:28:25,762 --> 00:28:27,352 - Mazel titties. 724 00:28:27,428 --> 00:28:30,348 - Excuse me. Hey. 725 00:28:30,428 --> 00:28:31,798 Hey, Mo. Hey, guys. 726 00:28:31,887 --> 00:28:33,387 Um, so I came here to tell you two things. 727 00:28:33,470 --> 00:28:34,930 One-- 728 00:28:35,011 --> 00:28:36,721 and this might be the cocaine talking, 729 00:28:36,804 --> 00:28:38,684 but can we get some more cocaine? 730 00:28:38,762 --> 00:28:40,552 - And two... 731 00:28:40,637 --> 00:28:42,847 ...I broke up with Tiff. 732 00:28:45,345 --> 00:28:47,885 I broke up with Tiff! 733 00:28:47,970 --> 00:28:50,050 Is this a child wedding? 734 00:28:50,136 --> 00:28:53,046 ♪ instrumental version of "Hava Nagila" ♪