1 00:00:02,220 --> 00:00:03,300 ♪ synth music ♪ 2 00:00:03,387 --> 00:00:05,797 ♪ Ooh ♪ 3 00:00:05,887 --> 00:00:07,387 ♪ It's Showtime tonight ♪ 4 00:00:07,470 --> 00:00:08,760 Previously on Black Monday... 5 00:00:08,845 --> 00:00:09,925 - Whoa! - We thought 6 00:00:10,011 --> 00:00:11,051 you might call the wedding off 7 00:00:11,136 --> 00:00:12,006 after your whole 8 00:00:12,095 --> 00:00:13,505 engagement party fiasco. 9 00:00:13,595 --> 00:00:14,635 - Oh! - What? 10 00:00:14,720 --> 00:00:15,680 - Oh! - Oh, my God! 11 00:00:17,220 --> 00:00:19,680 As if, slut! 12 00:00:19,762 --> 00:00:20,892 - I found these 13 00:00:20,970 --> 00:00:22,220 at the Georginas' apartment. 14 00:00:22,303 --> 00:00:24,103 They must have kidnapped Tiff themselves. 15 00:00:24,178 --> 00:00:25,428 We want Maurice Monroe, 16 00:00:25,512 --> 00:00:27,012 and you are gonna give him to us. 17 00:00:27,095 --> 00:00:29,175 I want a divorce. 18 00:00:29,261 --> 00:00:30,761 Blair is in love with me, and I think 19 00:00:30,845 --> 00:00:32,545 I'm falling for him, too. 20 00:00:35,887 --> 00:00:37,967 ♪ percussive music ♪ 21 00:00:44,428 --> 00:00:47,348 ♪ Tiffany's "I Think We're Alone Now" playing ♪ 22 00:01:03,303 --> 00:01:06,473 ♪ They don't understand and so they ♪ 23 00:01:06,553 --> 00:01:09,763 ♪ Keep asking if this whole thing's a gaffe ♪ 24 00:01:09,845 --> 00:01:13,255 ♪ How'd such a catch end up with a Pfaff? ♪ 25 00:01:13,345 --> 00:01:16,505 ♪ I said no-sevelt to a Roosevelt ♪ 26 00:01:16,595 --> 00:01:18,215 ♪ That Hearst was the worst ♪ 27 00:01:18,303 --> 00:01:19,893 ♪ Almost had a child with a Rothschild ♪ 28 00:01:19,970 --> 00:01:21,050 ♪ And Anderson Cooper ♪ 29 00:01:21,136 --> 00:01:22,506 Oof. 30 00:01:24,136 --> 00:01:26,096 I still can't believe you left Spencer 31 00:01:26,178 --> 00:01:28,138 for Blair. 32 00:01:28,220 --> 00:01:30,180 You love bitches more than Billie Jean King. 33 00:01:30,261 --> 00:01:32,141 Do you work on these at home? 34 00:01:32,220 --> 00:01:33,850 - No. - No? 35 00:01:33,929 --> 00:01:35,099 - Whatever. - Yeah. 36 00:01:35,178 --> 00:01:37,048 - Sometimes on the toilet. - Okay. 37 00:01:37,136 --> 00:01:37,926 What I'm saying is, if these guys are your type, 38 00:01:38,011 --> 00:01:39,181 what'd you ever see in me? 39 00:01:39,261 --> 00:01:41,261 You are the biggest bitch of all. 40 00:01:41,345 --> 00:01:44,845 You're afraid of love. 41 00:01:44,929 --> 00:01:48,139 ♪ I said no to a Devin, an Evan, and a Kevin ♪ 42 00:01:48,220 --> 00:01:50,760 ♪ And don't even get me started on the Davids ♪ 43 00:01:50,845 --> 00:01:52,505 ♪ Don't worry, none of them were Jews ♪ 44 00:01:52,595 --> 00:01:54,385 Did you know the song that knocked this song 45 00:01:54,470 --> 00:01:55,600 out of the number one spot 46 00:01:55,679 --> 00:01:56,759 was also a Shondells cover, 47 00:01:56,845 --> 00:01:58,545 "Mony Mony." The '80s suck. 48 00:01:58,637 --> 00:02:01,297 Yeah, well, did you know that I paid good "mony mony" 49 00:02:01,387 --> 00:02:02,757 to a girl named Shondell 50 00:02:02,845 --> 00:02:05,095 to put my number one in her spot? 51 00:02:05,178 --> 00:02:07,678 I dare you to tell the truth one time. 52 00:02:07,762 --> 00:02:09,222 Red or white? 53 00:02:09,303 --> 00:02:10,933 Or I could mix 'em. You...strike me 54 00:02:11,011 --> 00:02:12,141 as a pink guy. 55 00:02:12,220 --> 00:02:13,510 What the fuck are you talking-- 56 00:02:13,595 --> 00:02:14,545 You know what? Take your time. 57 00:02:14,637 --> 00:02:15,347 We're not going anywhere. 58 00:02:17,053 --> 00:02:18,393 Uh, can I order something? 59 00:02:18,470 --> 00:02:19,680 Caterers are terrible. 60 00:02:19,762 --> 00:02:22,302 ♪ Blair's not alone now ♪ 61 00:02:22,387 --> 00:02:23,967 ♪ They say he wants my money ♪ 62 00:02:24,053 --> 00:02:26,603 ♪ But he won't get shit ♪ 63 00:02:26,679 --> 00:02:30,049 Babe, this is really... 64 00:02:30,136 --> 00:02:31,756 - good. - Right? 65 00:02:31,845 --> 00:02:33,345 I'll tell you what: Tiffany better look out, 66 00:02:33,428 --> 00:02:34,598 'cause there's a new Tiffany in town who can butcher 67 00:02:34,679 --> 00:02:36,219 other people's songs even better. 68 00:02:36,303 --> 00:02:38,303 That means a lot. You know how important 69 00:02:38,387 --> 00:02:39,967 - malls are to me. - Yeah. 70 00:02:40,053 --> 00:02:41,893 In fact, can I get your autograph? 71 00:02:41,970 --> 00:02:43,800 Oh, my God. Of course! 72 00:02:43,887 --> 00:02:45,717 Ah, no, seriously, though, just while I got you... 73 00:02:45,804 --> 00:02:46,554 What's this now? 74 00:02:46,637 --> 00:02:47,547 Um... 75 00:02:47,637 --> 00:02:48,797 ...it's just, you know, 76 00:02:48,887 --> 00:02:51,007 normal wedding paperwork. Uh, 77 00:02:51,095 --> 00:02:52,595 we got a marriage license, we got a power of attorney... 78 00:02:52,679 --> 00:02:54,049 Power of attorney? 79 00:02:54,136 --> 00:02:55,676 Well, I mean, wouldn't you rather 80 00:02:55,762 --> 00:02:58,642 I take care of all that boring 81 00:02:58,720 --> 00:02:59,930 financial junk 82 00:03:00,011 --> 00:03:02,931 so you can focus on all your... 83 00:03:03,011 --> 00:03:05,431 ...important, you know, stuff 84 00:03:05,512 --> 00:03:07,852 you do during the daytime? 85 00:03:07,929 --> 00:03:10,799 - I mean, I am so busy... - Yeah, I know. 86 00:03:10,887 --> 00:03:12,597 But I can't sign that. I'm sorry. 87 00:03:12,679 --> 00:03:14,219 While I got you, 88 00:03:14,303 --> 00:03:16,763 there is something I kind of need you to sign. 89 00:03:16,845 --> 00:03:18,135 Well, what's this now? 90 00:03:21,261 --> 00:03:22,261 Yeah! 91 00:03:22,345 --> 00:03:24,345 Thank you, Tiffany, 92 00:03:24,428 --> 00:03:25,638 and thank you, Dawn, 93 00:03:25,720 --> 00:03:27,300 for hosting this rehearsal dinner. 94 00:03:27,387 --> 00:03:28,427 Let me tell you something. 95 00:03:28,512 --> 00:03:29,682 I am not afraid of love, Dawn. 96 00:03:29,762 --> 00:03:30,802 - Mm. - I'm not. 97 00:03:30,887 --> 00:03:32,177 In fact, I was gonna do 98 00:03:32,261 --> 00:03:33,641 this whole fucking thing with you. 99 00:03:33,720 --> 00:03:34,680 W-what? What? 100 00:03:34,762 --> 00:03:35,802 What's that supposed to mean? 101 00:03:35,887 --> 00:03:37,547 I was gonna propose, okay? 102 00:03:37,637 --> 00:03:38,927 Bullshit. 103 00:03:39,011 --> 00:03:40,051 I--I had the goddamn ring 104 00:03:40,136 --> 00:03:42,006 and everything, Dawn. 105 00:03:42,095 --> 00:03:43,505 - Oh, yeah? Okay, yeah? - Okay, yeah. 106 00:03:43,595 --> 00:03:45,425 - I was gonna do all of it. - All right, when? 107 00:03:46,303 --> 00:03:48,143 That night we went horseback riding upstate. 108 00:03:48,220 --> 00:03:50,470 We never went horseback riding upstate. 109 00:03:50,553 --> 00:03:51,893 Exactly. 110 00:03:51,970 --> 00:03:53,100 What's that supposed to mean? 111 00:03:53,178 --> 00:03:55,598 Oh, thanks to Maurice for coming up 112 00:03:55,679 --> 00:03:57,009 with this last-second 113 00:03:57,095 --> 00:03:59,215 wedding venue for tomorrow after we lost 114 00:03:59,303 --> 00:04:00,933 our spot at the Plaza 115 00:04:01,011 --> 00:04:02,681 during Tiff's and Blair's brief rumspringa. 116 00:04:02,762 --> 00:04:04,642 Is this-- Is this... 117 00:04:04,720 --> 00:04:06,140 You want me to sign a prenup? 118 00:04:06,220 --> 00:04:07,050 Okay, calm down. 119 00:04:07,136 --> 00:04:07,926 My daddy will not let me 120 00:04:08,011 --> 00:04:09,261 marry you without it. 121 00:04:09,345 --> 00:04:10,675 He's very protective over his money. 122 00:04:10,762 --> 00:04:12,262 I mean, who cares, really? 123 00:04:12,345 --> 00:04:14,635 Unless our entire... 124 00:04:14,720 --> 00:04:16,850 11-year relationship was just a big ruse 125 00:04:16,929 --> 00:04:18,679 for you to get your hands on Georgina Jeans. 126 00:04:20,970 --> 00:04:22,300 It's insane. 127 00:04:22,387 --> 00:04:23,597 To true love. 128 00:04:23,679 --> 00:04:24,929 - Aww. - True love. 129 00:04:27,428 --> 00:04:30,098 ♪ "I Think We're Alone Now" by the Shondells playing ♪ 130 00:04:35,136 --> 00:04:39,136 ♪ Children behave ♪ 131 00:04:39,220 --> 00:04:42,140 ♪ That's what they say when we're together ♪ 132 00:04:42,220 --> 00:04:44,640 ♪ And watch how you play ♪ 133 00:04:46,428 --> 00:04:48,888 ♪ They don't understand, and so ♪ 134 00:04:53,887 --> 00:04:55,347 - What are you talking about? 135 00:04:55,428 --> 00:04:57,468 Do you want to? I mean, if you want to go, 136 00:04:57,553 --> 00:04:59,013 - we can go. - Okay. 137 00:04:59,095 --> 00:05:00,045 - Yeah? - Yeah. 138 00:05:00,136 --> 00:05:01,716 Don't forget to pull out, Dawn. 139 00:05:01,804 --> 00:05:03,764 Don't worry, babe. He's just mad 140 00:05:03,845 --> 00:05:05,635 that I got the girl. 141 00:05:05,720 --> 00:05:07,470 You know what they say: "They don't always leave 142 00:05:07,553 --> 00:05:09,143 with the ones they came in with." 143 00:05:09,220 --> 00:05:11,140 You know what else they say. 144 00:05:11,220 --> 00:05:13,140 "You'd have to be one dumb hick fuck 145 00:05:13,220 --> 00:05:14,470 to be messing around with your girlfriend 146 00:05:14,553 --> 00:05:16,353 when you're about to marry someone else 147 00:05:16,428 --> 00:05:18,178 in order to pull off a year-long long con 148 00:05:18,261 --> 00:05:21,141 with 60 mil on the line, you dumb hick fuck." 149 00:05:21,220 --> 00:05:22,550 You don't hear that one quite as much. 150 00:05:22,637 --> 00:05:23,757 Different circles. 151 00:05:23,845 --> 00:05:24,715 Apparently. 152 00:05:24,804 --> 00:05:27,264 Hey! 153 00:05:27,345 --> 00:05:28,965 - Hey. - Hey. 154 00:05:29,053 --> 00:05:30,933 - For you. - Thank you. 155 00:05:31,011 --> 00:05:32,301 - Yum? - Ooh, no. 156 00:05:32,387 --> 00:05:33,797 I'm off champagne since I drove home 157 00:05:33,887 --> 00:05:35,257 from my divorce-iversary 158 00:05:35,345 --> 00:05:37,715 - and hit-and-run'd a... 159 00:05:37,804 --> 00:05:39,354 - ...deer... - Oh. 160 00:05:39,428 --> 00:05:40,178 Friend of my father's. 161 00:05:42,220 --> 00:05:44,260 Keith, he's telling a sweet story. 162 00:05:44,345 --> 00:05:46,465 Sorry, asthma. My whole life. 163 00:05:46,553 --> 00:05:48,143 Probably wondering, "Hey, why haven't I ever 164 00:05:48,220 --> 00:05:49,470 heard about that?" Well, it's, uh-- 165 00:05:49,553 --> 00:05:51,013 it's a good story and a long one, so buckle up-- 166 00:05:51,095 --> 00:05:52,345 Nobody gives a shit, Keith. 167 00:05:52,428 --> 00:05:53,968 - At all. - seconded. 168 00:05:54,053 --> 00:05:54,933 Okay, champagne 169 00:05:55,011 --> 00:05:56,431 for a sham marriage. 170 00:05:56,512 --> 00:05:57,602 To the Georgina-- 171 00:05:58,845 --> 00:06:00,635 Georgina play... 172 00:06:00,720 --> 00:06:02,010 Uh, well, I'd like to, uh-- 173 00:06:02,095 --> 00:06:03,425 to thank all of my groomsmen 174 00:06:03,512 --> 00:06:06,222 - with a little something... - Mm. 175 00:06:06,303 --> 00:06:08,763 Inspired by the man who brought us all together. 176 00:06:08,845 --> 00:06:10,385 For you 177 00:06:10,470 --> 00:06:12,930 - And for the grooms-lady. - Yes. 178 00:06:13,011 --> 00:06:14,051 You said all your groomsmen. You ain't got 179 00:06:14,136 --> 00:06:15,006 nothing for old Mo? 180 00:06:15,095 --> 00:06:16,425 You already have one. 181 00:06:16,512 --> 00:06:17,432 - Oh, my God! - Holy shit! 182 00:06:17,512 --> 00:06:19,642 It's Mo's lucky watch! 183 00:06:19,720 --> 00:06:22,050 - No. - This is his exact watch. 184 00:06:22,136 --> 00:06:23,596 This is not my goddamn watch. 185 00:06:23,679 --> 00:06:26,469 You cannot buy my watch. My watch is custom-made. 186 00:06:26,553 --> 00:06:28,723 Yeah, as are these very detailed replicas, 187 00:06:28,804 --> 00:06:31,304 which I call Mo-lexes. 188 00:06:31,387 --> 00:06:32,297 - Mo-lex? - Yeah, just 189 00:06:32,387 --> 00:06:33,797 a little something 190 00:06:33,887 --> 00:06:35,137 to remind us of the greatest lesson 191 00:06:35,220 --> 00:06:37,800 we've all learned from you, Mo. 192 00:06:37,887 --> 00:06:38,967 Fuck 'em all. 193 00:06:39,053 --> 00:06:40,433 Fuck 'em all. 194 00:06:40,512 --> 00:06:42,182 Fuck 'em all! 195 00:06:42,261 --> 00:06:44,181 Thank you. 196 00:06:45,720 --> 00:06:46,970 Well, all right, 197 00:06:47,053 --> 00:06:48,223 my little crime lords 198 00:06:48,303 --> 00:06:49,853 and Traci Lords. 199 00:06:49,929 --> 00:06:51,469 Let's get those shares that you parked-- 200 00:06:53,387 --> 00:06:54,547 Jesus, take it outside, Keith, 201 00:06:54,637 --> 00:06:56,257 before we all catch bald. 202 00:06:56,345 --> 00:06:57,215 - Eww. - Oh, Keith, give me 203 00:06:57,303 --> 00:06:58,183 those shares that you parked. 204 00:07:00,303 --> 00:07:02,933 Dust. 205 00:07:03,011 --> 00:07:05,641 And here are the shares that I parked with Spencer. 206 00:07:05,720 --> 00:07:08,470 Got 'em in the divorce. Only cost me our Airplane! 207 00:07:08,553 --> 00:07:10,353 We had a tough time dividing up our Betamax collection. 208 00:07:10,428 --> 00:07:11,888 - Oh, babe. - I know. 209 00:07:11,970 --> 00:07:13,600 So including our shell companies, 210 00:07:13,679 --> 00:07:15,299 we are at 45%. 211 00:07:15,387 --> 00:07:18,047 Six percent more from Tiff when you guys get hitched, 212 00:07:18,136 --> 00:07:20,846 and we will have a score that makes Warren Buffet 213 00:07:20,929 --> 00:07:22,259 look like Warren Snack. 214 00:07:23,512 --> 00:07:24,642 That would've landed 215 00:07:24,720 --> 00:07:25,550 if he would pronounce his name 216 00:07:25,637 --> 00:07:27,347 "buffet" like a real man. 217 00:07:27,428 --> 00:07:28,218 - No, no, no, babe, it landed. - You got it? 218 00:07:28,303 --> 00:07:29,853 Yeah, I got it. 219 00:07:29,929 --> 00:07:33,009 So, what's everyone gonna do with their money? 220 00:07:33,095 --> 00:07:33,925 I'm buying myself a new Limbo. 221 00:07:34,011 --> 00:07:35,221 Come on, Mo. 222 00:07:35,303 --> 00:07:36,433 I'm also gonna pick up 223 00:07:36,512 --> 00:07:37,642 that red Keith Haring series 224 00:07:37,720 --> 00:07:38,890 I've had my eye on for years. 225 00:07:38,970 --> 00:07:40,760 Come on, Mo. 226 00:07:40,845 --> 00:07:43,635 Okay, can we not get distracted by red Harings and focus? 227 00:07:43,720 --> 00:07:44,890 Right now, Blair, 228 00:07:44,970 --> 00:07:45,930 it's on you, baby. 229 00:07:46,011 --> 00:07:48,261 All good in the... 230 00:07:48,345 --> 00:07:51,215 ...municipality, 231 00:07:51,303 --> 00:07:52,853 except for, uh, just-- 232 00:07:52,929 --> 00:07:55,639 just one--just one tiny, teeny little thing. 233 00:07:55,720 --> 00:07:57,140 Oh, Blair's getting cold feet. Here we go. 234 00:07:57,220 --> 00:07:59,050 It's not time for cold feet. 235 00:07:59,136 --> 00:08:01,636 It's time for hot feet, like Downtown Julie Brown-hot feet. 236 00:08:01,720 --> 00:08:03,390 Like, Oh, my God, what I wouldn't give to take 237 00:08:03,470 --> 00:08:04,550 those little piggies to market. 238 00:08:04,637 --> 00:08:05,887 Feet meat. 239 00:08:05,970 --> 00:08:07,430 Yeah, Wayne, feet meat. Yes! 240 00:08:07,512 --> 00:08:09,932 No, no. 241 00:08:10,011 --> 00:08:13,601 No, it's just Tiff's dad wants me to sign this, like, 242 00:08:13,679 --> 00:08:17,599 just really silly little... 243 00:08:17,679 --> 00:08:19,219 ...prenup thing before we get married. 244 00:08:19,303 --> 00:08:20,683 Come on, for real, Blair? 245 00:08:20,762 --> 00:08:22,302 Goddamn it. Do you have 246 00:08:22,387 --> 00:08:23,427 any idea what it's taken for me 247 00:08:23,512 --> 00:08:24,932 to get where I am? 248 00:08:25,011 --> 00:08:26,471 Any idea? 249 00:08:26,553 --> 00:08:29,763 I have shed blood, sweat, and tears. 250 00:08:29,845 --> 00:08:33,595 I have unearthed secrets, got winded and fired. 251 00:08:33,679 --> 00:08:34,799 You're just listing bands. 252 00:08:34,887 --> 00:08:36,007 It doesn't fucking matter! 253 00:08:36,095 --> 00:08:37,465 What--here's what I'm saying. 254 00:08:37,553 --> 00:08:38,603 You want to sit in the big chair, Blair, 255 00:08:38,679 --> 00:08:39,849 you better bring a goddamn flashlight, 256 00:08:39,929 --> 00:08:40,849 'cause it gets dark. 257 00:08:40,929 --> 00:08:42,009 This is the Geor-jeana Play, 258 00:08:42,095 --> 00:08:43,345 not the Geor-jyna Play. 259 00:08:43,428 --> 00:08:44,758 You know why I'm saying Geor-jyna? 260 00:08:44,845 --> 00:08:46,135 When I look down, does it help you understand 261 00:08:46,220 --> 00:08:47,390 why I'm pronouncing it "jeye-na"? 262 00:08:47,470 --> 00:08:48,100 Do you know what I'm saying? 263 00:08:48,178 --> 00:08:49,348 That I have a vagina. 264 00:08:49,428 --> 00:08:50,598 Exactly. You got some balls? 265 00:08:50,679 --> 00:08:52,139 You go fucking prove it. 266 00:08:52,220 --> 00:08:54,300 Show me! Go get it! 267 00:08:54,387 --> 00:08:56,137 You go get it, baby! 268 00:08:56,220 --> 00:08:57,350 - Hey, Dawn? - Yeah. 269 00:08:57,428 --> 00:08:58,388 Goofy and Mickey called. 270 00:08:58,470 --> 00:09:01,220 Fuck you. 271 00:09:01,303 --> 00:09:04,223 ♪ percussive music ♪ 272 00:09:15,470 --> 00:09:16,510 Ooh, ooh, 273 00:09:16,595 --> 00:09:17,845 ladies, please, please. 274 00:09:17,929 --> 00:09:20,139 I'm just one man. 275 00:09:21,178 --> 00:09:22,548 The fuck is this? 276 00:09:22,637 --> 00:09:24,597 I don't know. It must be my, uh, 277 00:09:24,679 --> 00:09:25,509 magnetic personality. 278 00:09:25,595 --> 00:09:27,715 You think we're bluffing? 279 00:09:27,804 --> 00:09:30,184 I will go right now and pull your son 280 00:09:30,261 --> 00:09:32,141 out of whatever class he's flunking. 281 00:09:32,220 --> 00:09:33,600 And I'll pull your boyfriend 282 00:09:33,679 --> 00:09:35,009 out of whatever ass he's fucking. 283 00:09:35,095 --> 00:09:36,595 Deb, we talked about this. 284 00:09:36,679 --> 00:09:38,299 Sorry, I thought you were setting me up. 285 00:09:38,387 --> 00:09:40,257 No. You're out of chances, Keith. 286 00:09:40,345 --> 00:09:42,005 Get Mo on tape today. 287 00:09:42,095 --> 00:09:43,175 Okay, he's gonna figure out 288 00:09:43,261 --> 00:09:44,761 I'm wearing a fucking wire. 289 00:09:44,845 --> 00:09:47,255 I look like Teddy Ruxpeen down there. 290 00:09:47,345 --> 00:09:49,465 Well, you better try, because we're gonna have eyes on you 291 00:09:49,553 --> 00:09:51,183 all day and your stupid fucking peen. 292 00:09:51,261 --> 00:09:52,391 Now, if you'll excuse us, 293 00:09:52,470 --> 00:09:53,970 we gotta get back to the kitchen. 294 00:09:54,053 --> 00:09:55,263 The lobster is not gonna bisque itself, 295 00:09:55,345 --> 00:09:58,095 and Todd is riding my hide. 296 00:09:58,178 --> 00:09:59,718 Who's Todd? 297 00:09:59,804 --> 00:10:02,054 Our cater captain. 298 00:10:02,136 --> 00:10:03,296 I know they say 299 00:10:03,387 --> 00:10:04,637 silicone's bad for you, 300 00:10:04,720 --> 00:10:06,800 but these saltwater jugs are sloshing around 301 00:10:06,887 --> 00:10:08,427 like my driver's ed teacher's water bed. 302 00:10:08,512 --> 00:10:09,472 - Oh, I'm jealous. - RIP. 303 00:10:09,553 --> 00:10:11,053 Can you just stuff them in? 304 00:10:11,136 --> 00:10:12,636 - We gotta jet. - Okay, okay, okay. 305 00:10:12,720 --> 00:10:13,970 - Uh, Tiff? 306 00:10:14,053 --> 00:10:15,473 Blair! Oh, my God, you can't see 307 00:10:15,553 --> 00:10:16,803 my dress before the ceremony! 308 00:10:16,887 --> 00:10:18,597 My eyes are closed. I just-- 309 00:10:18,679 --> 00:10:19,389 I need to talk to you. It's important. Ladies, 310 00:10:19,470 --> 00:10:20,850 can you give us the room? 311 00:10:20,929 --> 00:10:22,549 We'll meet you in the horse-drawn carriage. 312 00:10:22,637 --> 00:10:24,097 - Okay. - Ooh, shotgun. 313 00:10:24,178 --> 00:10:24,888 On the horse? 314 00:10:24,970 --> 00:10:26,760 Jesus. Oh, sorry. 315 00:10:26,845 --> 00:10:28,465 Sorry. I'm sorry. 316 00:10:28,553 --> 00:10:30,433 - Hello? 317 00:10:30,512 --> 00:10:31,512 Oh, god, did somebody else come in the room now? 318 00:10:31,595 --> 00:10:32,845 No, I mean hello 319 00:10:32,929 --> 00:10:33,969 as in "talk, monkey." 320 00:10:34,053 --> 00:10:35,223 I will provide 321 00:10:35,303 --> 00:10:36,723 visual context as necessary. Go. 322 00:10:36,804 --> 00:10:38,264 So... 323 00:10:38,345 --> 00:10:41,045 the real reason that... 324 00:10:41,136 --> 00:10:43,546 Mo hired me after no one else would 325 00:10:43,637 --> 00:10:47,467 is because he is the reason no one else would. 326 00:10:47,553 --> 00:10:49,893 He tricked me into working for him 327 00:10:49,970 --> 00:10:52,550 so he could take over your dad's company. 328 00:10:52,637 --> 00:10:54,507 I didn't know about it, but-- 329 00:10:54,595 --> 00:10:58,095 but I do now, and... 330 00:10:58,178 --> 00:11:00,048 I don't know, Tiff. I think maybe we should do it-- 331 00:11:00,136 --> 00:11:01,546 Ow! God. 332 00:11:01,637 --> 00:11:03,137 Even with my eyes closed, 333 00:11:03,220 --> 00:11:04,350 I should've seen that coming. 334 00:11:04,428 --> 00:11:06,048 Are you insane? 335 00:11:06,136 --> 00:11:08,886 How could you do this to me, and my dad-- 336 00:11:08,970 --> 00:11:10,220 he has treated you like a son. 337 00:11:10,303 --> 00:11:11,683 Sure, in the way 338 00:11:11,762 --> 00:11:13,892 that dads are super cold to their sons 339 00:11:13,970 --> 00:11:15,930 to try to get them to stop acting like such pussies, 340 00:11:16,011 --> 00:11:18,261 but still, how could you betray my family? 341 00:11:18,345 --> 00:11:20,845 Tiff, they betrayed you! They're the ones 342 00:11:20,929 --> 00:11:22,009 who were behind your kidnapping! 343 00:11:22,095 --> 00:11:23,385 Okay, what? 344 00:11:23,470 --> 00:11:24,550 Uh, y--think about it. 345 00:11:24,637 --> 00:11:25,847 Georgina has been losing money 346 00:11:25,929 --> 00:11:27,599 for years, and since you got snatched, 347 00:11:27,679 --> 00:11:31,139 sales have quadrupled, 348 00:11:31,220 --> 00:11:32,600 and... 349 00:11:32,679 --> 00:11:34,889 And I found the magazines 350 00:11:34,970 --> 00:11:36,640 they cut the letters out of for the ransom note. 351 00:11:36,720 --> 00:11:38,100 ♪ somber music ♪ 352 00:11:38,178 --> 00:11:40,888 I'm--I'm really sorry. 353 00:11:45,804 --> 00:11:48,184 I mean, I-I... 354 00:11:48,261 --> 00:11:50,181 They have been talking a lot lately 355 00:11:50,261 --> 00:11:51,761 about a game-changer, 356 00:11:51,845 --> 00:11:53,175 like Calvin Klein's Brooke Shields 357 00:11:53,261 --> 00:11:55,221 child porn campaign. 358 00:11:55,303 --> 00:11:56,643 Oh, my God. 359 00:11:56,720 --> 00:11:58,680 - Tiff, I'm so sorry. - Oh, no. 360 00:11:58,762 --> 00:12:00,142 - Jesus. - Okay, let's just open-- 361 00:12:00,220 --> 00:12:02,510 - open your eyes. - Okay. 362 00:12:02,595 --> 00:12:04,005 You look really beautiful. 363 00:12:05,053 --> 00:12:06,763 Thank you. 364 00:12:08,970 --> 00:12:11,470 I really want to cry, but my makeup artist Karina 365 00:12:11,553 --> 00:12:13,103 charges by the lash. 366 00:12:13,178 --> 00:12:14,968 What the hell? 367 00:12:15,053 --> 00:12:17,473 Pretty sure this wedding's fucked anyways. 368 00:12:17,553 --> 00:12:19,723 I'm sorry. 369 00:12:19,804 --> 00:12:22,684 At least maybe some good can come out of this now. 370 00:12:22,762 --> 00:12:23,722 What? 371 00:12:24,804 --> 00:12:26,394 Money. 372 00:12:26,470 --> 00:12:27,430 A lot of money. 373 00:12:28,845 --> 00:12:30,715 And to be honest, I-- 374 00:12:30,804 --> 00:12:32,144 I think this wedding has been fucked 375 00:12:32,220 --> 00:12:33,550 for a long time. 376 00:12:35,387 --> 00:12:38,097 There's...one more thing 377 00:12:38,178 --> 00:12:39,798 I have to tell you. 378 00:12:42,220 --> 00:12:44,850 What the fuck is taking them so long? 379 00:12:44,929 --> 00:12:47,009 Pssh, whatever it is, it's on you. 380 00:12:47,095 --> 00:12:48,925 On me? How is it on me? 381 00:12:49,011 --> 00:12:51,011 - This is your plan. - My plan? 382 00:12:51,095 --> 00:12:53,295 My plan did not involve you fucking him. 383 00:12:53,387 --> 00:12:55,547 What happened to your "I don't date coworkers" thing? 384 00:12:55,637 --> 00:12:56,887 Went right out the window, right? 385 00:12:56,970 --> 00:12:58,180 Thank God I didn't 386 00:12:58,261 --> 00:12:59,721 propose to you, you flip-flopper. 387 00:12:59,804 --> 00:13:01,354 You're really sticking with this whole 388 00:13:01,428 --> 00:13:03,468 imaginary horseback proposal, aren't you? 389 00:13:03,553 --> 00:13:05,683 Never even been on a horse, 390 00:13:05,762 --> 00:13:08,262 unless you count that tight end from the Colts, 391 00:13:08,345 --> 00:13:10,255 or that wide receiver from the Broncos, 392 00:13:10,345 --> 00:13:11,795 and then there was 393 00:13:11,887 --> 00:13:13,007 that quarterback from the Raiders. 394 00:13:13,095 --> 00:13:14,755 A raider is not a type of horse. 395 00:13:14,845 --> 00:13:16,255 This one was. 396 00:13:16,345 --> 00:13:17,635 You know what? You're right. 397 00:13:17,720 --> 00:13:19,600 We never had the horseback ride. 398 00:13:19,679 --> 00:13:22,009 You know why? Because we broke up. 399 00:13:22,095 --> 00:13:23,545 You remember 400 00:13:23,637 --> 00:13:24,597 when we were at my lake house, 401 00:13:24,679 --> 00:13:26,049 and you said you wanted to go 402 00:13:26,136 --> 00:13:27,676 buy that little antique ring that you saw 403 00:13:27,762 --> 00:13:29,432 the day before, and I said, "Don't do it, Dawn. 404 00:13:29,512 --> 00:13:31,052 You can't really afford it on your salary"? 405 00:13:31,136 --> 00:13:33,426 Then we had the whole "make me a partner dance" 406 00:13:33,512 --> 00:13:35,852 that was all the rage for us-- literally. 407 00:13:35,929 --> 00:13:37,049 Well, the reason I made the comment 408 00:13:37,136 --> 00:13:39,296 was because I went out and bought that ring 409 00:13:39,387 --> 00:13:41,047 the night before when you were asleep 410 00:13:41,136 --> 00:13:42,596 so that I could surprise you 411 00:13:42,679 --> 00:13:44,389 on the horseback ride 412 00:13:44,470 --> 00:13:46,220 that I had to cancel 413 00:13:46,303 --> 00:13:48,433 'cause you stormed out. 414 00:13:48,512 --> 00:13:50,352 That's the fucking truth. 415 00:13:54,220 --> 00:13:55,430 Bullshit. 416 00:13:55,512 --> 00:13:57,512 Marquis cut, 417 00:13:57,595 --> 00:13:59,635 pavé band, more baguettes 418 00:13:59,720 --> 00:14:01,890 than Gerard Depardieu's colon. 419 00:14:05,762 --> 00:14:07,762 Wow. 420 00:14:07,845 --> 00:14:09,505 I should've known. 421 00:14:09,595 --> 00:14:12,505 Maybe I sort of did. 422 00:14:12,595 --> 00:14:14,845 It all makes so much sense now. 423 00:14:16,178 --> 00:14:18,428 I'm so sorry, 424 00:14:18,512 --> 00:14:21,142 and if--if you wanna 425 00:14:21,220 --> 00:14:24,140 call off the wedding, I--I don't blame you. 426 00:14:24,220 --> 00:14:27,100 The only marriage I want to end is mine with my parents. 427 00:14:27,178 --> 00:14:29,678 I tried to get emancipated from them in sixth grade 428 00:14:29,762 --> 00:14:31,552 because they wouldn't let me shave my legs, 429 00:14:31,637 --> 00:14:33,507 and we settled on a cartilage pierce 430 00:14:33,595 --> 00:14:35,465 and another credit card. 431 00:14:35,553 --> 00:14:38,853 It's time. 432 00:14:38,929 --> 00:14:41,259 Blair, you are the smartest person 433 00:14:41,345 --> 00:14:42,845 I've ever known, 434 00:14:42,929 --> 00:14:44,679 and my private school had Orientals. 435 00:14:44,762 --> 00:14:46,972 ♪ somber music ♪ 436 00:14:47,053 --> 00:14:48,683 I want in. 437 00:14:48,762 --> 00:14:50,262 You do? 438 00:14:50,345 --> 00:14:52,345 I do. 439 00:14:59,261 --> 00:15:00,471 Oh! 440 00:15:05,053 --> 00:15:06,473 - Yeah. - Yes! 441 00:15:06,553 --> 00:15:07,433 All right! 442 00:15:10,053 --> 00:15:11,393 Ladies and gentlemen, 443 00:15:11,470 --> 00:15:13,300 presenting for the very first time, 444 00:15:13,387 --> 00:15:16,387 Mr. and Mrs. Georgina! 445 00:15:16,470 --> 00:15:19,550 I know this is a sham wedding, but I can't believe 446 00:15:19,637 --> 00:15:21,597 you made me take your last name. 447 00:15:21,679 --> 00:15:23,179 Tiff Pfaff? Thoundth like I have 448 00:15:23,261 --> 00:15:24,721 a thpeeth impediment. 449 00:15:24,804 --> 00:15:25,724 Why don't we clear some space... 450 00:15:25,804 --> 00:15:27,264 so Blair and Tiff... 451 00:15:27,345 --> 00:15:28,965 Are you sure you want to do this? 452 00:15:29,053 --> 00:15:30,643 ...can have their very first dance. 453 00:15:30,720 --> 00:15:32,010 I know this is a sham wedding, 454 00:15:32,095 --> 00:15:33,095 but I have been dreaming about this day 455 00:15:33,178 --> 00:15:36,388 since I was a little girl, so please, 456 00:15:36,470 --> 00:15:40,350 just give me this. 457 00:15:40,428 --> 00:15:42,138 Okay. 458 00:15:42,220 --> 00:15:43,970 Thank you. 459 00:16:02,845 --> 00:16:04,635 Are they dancing to the national anthem? 460 00:16:04,720 --> 00:16:07,100 Oh, yeah. Tiff's a huge Republican. 461 00:16:52,887 --> 00:16:55,637 Do Republicans hate America? 'Cause this is, like, 462 00:16:55,720 --> 00:16:57,640 a dance version of burning the flag. 463 00:16:57,720 --> 00:16:59,470 Wildly disrespectful. 464 00:16:59,553 --> 00:17:01,603 Yeah. 465 00:17:01,679 --> 00:17:05,429 Excuse me. 466 00:17:05,512 --> 00:17:08,472 ♪ "The Star-Spangled Banner" played traditionally ♪ 467 00:17:37,804 --> 00:17:38,684 Hey! 468 00:17:38,762 --> 00:17:39,852 You better slow down 469 00:17:39,929 --> 00:17:41,719 and focus on getting tape on Mo. 470 00:17:41,804 --> 00:17:42,894 Guys, guys, look. 471 00:17:42,970 --> 00:17:44,890 Maybe we should, I don't know, 472 00:17:44,970 --> 00:17:47,300 give this whole blackmail thing a second look, right? 473 00:17:47,387 --> 00:17:48,637 - Get to fucking work, Keith. - Yeah! 474 00:17:48,720 --> 00:17:49,680 Fine. 475 00:17:49,762 --> 00:17:51,012 Bus these. 476 00:17:51,095 --> 00:17:51,845 Fuck you. 477 00:17:51,929 --> 00:17:52,889 Stay in character. 478 00:17:52,970 --> 00:17:54,010 He's right. 479 00:17:54,095 --> 00:17:55,925 What? No, Deb--Deb! 480 00:17:58,595 --> 00:17:59,755 Hey. 481 00:17:59,845 --> 00:18:02,045 How'd it go? You get it done? 482 00:18:02,136 --> 00:18:03,676 - Blair? - Yeah. 483 00:18:03,762 --> 00:18:04,892 - No prenup. 484 00:18:04,970 --> 00:18:06,350 Oh, my God. 485 00:18:06,428 --> 00:18:08,348 Congrats. 486 00:18:08,428 --> 00:18:10,098 I can't fucking believe this. 487 00:18:10,178 --> 00:18:12,178 Jesus Christ. I just pulled off 488 00:18:12,261 --> 00:18:14,431 the greatest trade in the history of Wall Street. 489 00:18:14,512 --> 00:18:15,852 We. 490 00:18:15,929 --> 00:18:17,299 We. You're right, you're right. 491 00:18:17,387 --> 00:18:18,927 We. Ah. 492 00:18:19,011 --> 00:18:20,971 Hey, you know what? Let's bury the hatchet. 493 00:18:21,053 --> 00:18:22,353 Come on, toast. Toast. 494 00:18:22,428 --> 00:18:23,848 I don't feel like toasting, Mo. 495 00:18:23,929 --> 00:18:26,759 Blair, come on. 496 00:18:26,845 --> 00:18:28,795 Look, I know it stings a little bit right now, kid. 497 00:18:28,887 --> 00:18:30,887 You feel like you're losing your values 498 00:18:30,970 --> 00:18:33,680 or whatever, but you know what never loses its value? 499 00:18:33,762 --> 00:18:35,552 The Jasper John I'm gonna buy. 500 00:18:35,637 --> 00:18:37,097 That's a toilet completely muralized 501 00:18:37,178 --> 00:18:38,298 by Jasper Johns. I'm gonna stick it 502 00:18:38,387 --> 00:18:40,177 in my Basqui-yacht, 503 00:18:40,261 --> 00:18:41,551 which is a yacht completely muralized by Basquiat. 504 00:18:41,637 --> 00:18:44,297 Shut the fuck up. 505 00:18:44,387 --> 00:18:46,597 You know, the saying's not "An endless stream 506 00:18:46,679 --> 00:18:47,889 of bullshit and bad puns 507 00:18:47,970 --> 00:18:49,100 is the soul of wit," right? 508 00:18:50,553 --> 00:18:53,013 But I am the soul... man of wit. 509 00:18:53,095 --> 00:18:55,045 - Mm. - Okay, fuck it, Blair, 510 00:18:55,136 --> 00:18:56,176 all right? You don't want to be my friend, 511 00:18:56,261 --> 00:18:58,221 don't be my friend. Who cares? 512 00:18:58,303 --> 00:19:00,853 But I want that six percent before the bell tomorrow. 513 00:19:00,929 --> 00:19:02,139 Oh, oh. 514 00:19:02,220 --> 00:19:04,350 About that, 515 00:19:04,428 --> 00:19:05,928 I have terms. 516 00:19:06,011 --> 00:19:08,551 Excuse me? 517 00:19:08,637 --> 00:19:10,347 If we pull this off, The Jammer Group goes 518 00:19:10,428 --> 00:19:13,258 from being the fucking Yankees to the Mets overnight. 519 00:19:13,345 --> 00:19:14,755 You're gonna be offered every sweet-ass deal 520 00:19:14,845 --> 00:19:15,965 on the street, and I want my piece. 521 00:19:16,053 --> 00:19:17,763 We have a deal, Blair. 522 00:19:17,845 --> 00:19:20,675 No, we had a deal. 523 00:19:20,762 --> 00:19:24,602 You say I'm like a son to you, right? 524 00:19:24,679 --> 00:19:26,639 So I think it's time you make me part of the family. 525 00:19:26,720 --> 00:19:28,850 How about six percent of Georgina 526 00:19:28,929 --> 00:19:30,549 for six percent of The Jammer Group? 527 00:19:33,387 --> 00:19:35,797 How about six percent of kissing my ass? 528 00:19:37,720 --> 00:19:39,550 You know, I went to Berger's Burgers 529 00:19:39,637 --> 00:19:41,717 the other night, 530 00:19:41,804 --> 00:19:43,184 and they have a sign there that says 531 00:19:43,261 --> 00:19:46,601 they've only been open for two years. 532 00:19:46,679 --> 00:19:48,179 So I did a little research, 533 00:19:48,261 --> 00:19:50,221 and there's no record of an orphanage 534 00:19:50,303 --> 00:19:54,603 in that area anywhere. 535 00:19:54,679 --> 00:19:57,009 So I did a little more research 536 00:19:57,095 --> 00:19:58,385 and found there's no record 537 00:19:58,470 --> 00:20:01,220 of a Maurice Monroe... 538 00:20:01,303 --> 00:20:04,603 anywhere before 1974. 539 00:20:04,679 --> 00:20:06,219 ♪ tense synth music ♪ 540 00:20:06,303 --> 00:20:08,223 I knew you were full of shit, 541 00:20:08,303 --> 00:20:10,973 but I didn't think you were all shit. 542 00:20:11,053 --> 00:20:12,973 I wonder what the SEC would say 543 00:20:13,053 --> 00:20:15,013 if they knew the Exchange issued a seat 544 00:20:15,095 --> 00:20:17,135 to a man who doesn't exist. 545 00:20:17,220 --> 00:20:20,100 Wow. You really have crossed 546 00:20:20,178 --> 00:20:22,218 all the way over to the dark side. 547 00:20:22,303 --> 00:20:25,853 I learned it by watching you, Dad. 548 00:20:25,929 --> 00:20:29,389 Well, part of me wants to give you a big old hug. 549 00:20:29,470 --> 00:20:32,260 A bigger part of me wants to beat the dog shit out of you 550 00:20:32,345 --> 00:20:34,885 in front of all your friends and fake family. 551 00:20:34,970 --> 00:20:36,760 Take your best shot. 552 00:20:43,720 --> 00:20:44,760 Well played. 553 00:20:46,512 --> 00:20:48,892 Tell you what I will do. 554 00:20:48,970 --> 00:20:50,800 I will give you one percent. 555 00:20:50,887 --> 00:20:52,047 - That's it. 556 00:20:52,136 --> 00:20:52,966 That's my best and final offer. 557 00:20:53,053 --> 00:20:53,933 No, that's--That's cute, 558 00:20:54,011 --> 00:20:55,471 but this isn't a negotiation. 559 00:20:55,553 --> 00:20:57,433 Now, if you'll excuse me, 560 00:20:57,512 --> 00:21:00,102 I have to go do the fucking hokey-pokey. 561 00:21:02,845 --> 00:21:03,965 So what's six percent, 562 00:21:04,053 --> 00:21:04,933 hmm? You gave thirty percent 563 00:21:05,011 --> 00:21:06,471 to the fucking Yakuza. 564 00:21:06,553 --> 00:21:07,553 Let's do a little math, Dawn, 565 00:21:07,637 --> 00:21:08,427 all right? Excuse me. 566 00:21:08,512 --> 00:21:10,142 Okay, now you have 567 00:21:10,220 --> 00:21:11,350 15 percent. 568 00:21:11,428 --> 00:21:12,678 Now, if you add the 30 percent 569 00:21:12,762 --> 00:21:14,512 that the Yakuza gave the Leighmans, 570 00:21:14,595 --> 00:21:17,135 and then six percent I'm supposed to give to Blair, 571 00:21:17,220 --> 00:21:18,430 we add that together. What is that? 572 00:21:18,512 --> 00:21:20,352 51 percent. Okay? 573 00:21:20,428 --> 00:21:22,008 That would make me a minority owner 574 00:21:22,095 --> 00:21:23,295 of The Jammer Group. Now I'm not gonna lose control 575 00:21:23,387 --> 00:21:24,757 of my own fucking company, Dawn. 576 00:21:24,845 --> 00:21:26,175 I get it, I get it. 577 00:21:26,261 --> 00:21:28,891 But if, you know, you were to-- 578 00:21:28,970 --> 00:21:30,890 you know. 579 00:21:30,970 --> 00:21:33,050 You give a couple points. 580 00:21:33,136 --> 00:21:34,546 Two points, Dawn. Two fucking points! 581 00:21:34,637 --> 00:21:36,467 Fuck, no! No! This is how I knew you were 582 00:21:36,553 --> 00:21:37,853 bullshitting about the whole proposal thing. 583 00:21:37,929 --> 00:21:39,469 - I was-- - You would never be 584 00:21:39,553 --> 00:21:40,763 that thoughtful, because the only person 585 00:21:40,845 --> 00:21:42,255 you ever think of is yourself. 586 00:21:42,345 --> 00:21:43,595 - All right. - You're a selfish piece 587 00:21:43,679 --> 00:21:45,349 - of shit, Mo. - Jesus Christ, 588 00:21:45,428 --> 00:21:46,258 everybody's just coming with both barrels 589 00:21:46,345 --> 00:21:47,845 at old fucking Mo today, right? 590 00:21:47,929 --> 00:21:50,009 I mean, really? Give him some of my shares? 591 00:21:50,095 --> 00:21:51,965 The answer is no. No, "fuck no." 592 00:21:52,053 --> 00:21:53,263 Yeah, okay. Great. 593 00:21:53,345 --> 00:21:55,345 - Keith, Keith, hey. - Shit. 594 00:21:55,428 --> 00:21:56,928 I gotta--I gotta talk to you, okay? 595 00:21:57,011 --> 00:21:58,181 - The Georgina Play... 596 00:21:58,261 --> 00:21:59,471 ...Is hitting a major fucking snag. 597 00:21:59,553 --> 00:22:00,973 Mm-mm, uh, no, I gotta go. 598 00:22:01,053 --> 00:22:01,853 I gotta go. Yeah, I gotta run. 599 00:22:01,929 --> 00:22:03,139 Okay, fine, let's talk-- 600 00:22:03,220 --> 00:22:04,550 No, I mean, I gotta run-- 601 00:22:04,637 --> 00:22:05,967 I got, like, the runs. The shits. I gotta shit. 602 00:22:06,053 --> 00:22:07,513 Okay, toilet. Perfect, it's more private. 603 00:22:07,595 --> 00:22:09,045 No, no, no, you don't want any part of this. 604 00:22:09,136 --> 00:22:10,386 - It's gonna be bad. - Just crap quiet. 605 00:22:10,470 --> 00:22:11,970 Who gives a shit? You just gotta listen. 606 00:22:12,053 --> 00:22:13,103 The kid's squeezing me 607 00:22:13,178 --> 00:22:14,178 on the Georgina Play... 608 00:22:15,929 --> 00:22:17,429 ...And I gotta admit, he's got me, man. 609 00:22:17,512 --> 00:22:18,722 If--if I don't give him what he wants, 610 00:22:18,804 --> 00:22:20,394 he's nuts enough to go to the Feds, 611 00:22:20,470 --> 00:22:21,050 tell him all the illegal shit we've done. 612 00:22:21,136 --> 00:22:22,346 Oh! Oh! 613 00:22:22,428 --> 00:22:23,508 Like the Audi Play. 614 00:22:24,637 --> 00:22:25,507 You all right? 615 00:22:26,845 --> 00:22:29,465 - Oh! Oh! 616 00:22:29,553 --> 00:22:31,603 Oh, sorry, man! Can we talk later? 617 00:22:31,679 --> 00:22:32,799 You know what? Maybe I should call his bluff, 618 00:22:32,887 --> 00:22:34,797 you know, send the Yakuza over there 619 00:22:34,887 --> 00:22:36,177 - to beat the shit out of him. - Oh, Jesus, the pain! 620 00:22:36,261 --> 00:22:37,601 - The pain! - He's gotta know 621 00:22:37,679 --> 00:22:38,969 he's not dealing with a businessman 622 00:22:39,053 --> 00:22:39,853 right now, Keith. He's dealing 623 00:22:39,929 --> 00:22:40,799 with a fucking criminal! 624 00:22:40,887 --> 00:22:42,597 No, no, no, no, no! 625 00:22:42,679 --> 00:22:44,179 No, God, fuck no. Jesus, 626 00:22:44,261 --> 00:22:45,851 Fuck piss. Shit no. 627 00:22:45,929 --> 00:22:48,219 I'm gonna give you a little privacy, all right? 628 00:22:48,303 --> 00:22:49,513 Sounds good man. Sounds good. 629 00:22:49,595 --> 00:22:53,595 Good plan. Good talk, all right? 630 00:22:55,345 --> 00:22:57,295 Okay, girl, I don't know why-- you can--oh! 631 00:22:57,387 --> 00:22:59,047 Oh, Mo. 632 00:22:59,136 --> 00:23:01,006 Oh, my gosh, thank you so much for getting us 633 00:23:01,095 --> 00:23:01,885 the floor. What a great venue. 634 00:23:01,970 --> 00:23:02,970 Yeah, yeah. 635 00:23:03,053 --> 00:23:04,433 - Congrats. - Whoa! 636 00:23:04,512 --> 00:23:06,102 Whoa, whoa, hey, let's see if we can get 637 00:23:06,178 --> 00:23:07,678 a bridesmaid or something to hold your hair, okay? 638 00:23:07,762 --> 00:23:09,472 'Cause I got some real shit I gotta deal with right now. 639 00:23:09,553 --> 00:23:11,223 Oh, I'm sorry. Do you have to go deal 640 00:23:11,303 --> 00:23:12,933 with a deal with my husband? 641 00:23:13,011 --> 00:23:15,601 'Cause shouldn't I be there too? 642 00:23:15,679 --> 00:23:18,299 I'm in. We're doing the Me Play. 643 00:23:18,387 --> 00:23:19,847 ♪ dramatic music ♪ 644 00:23:19,929 --> 00:23:22,429 Wait a minute, what? 645 00:23:22,512 --> 00:23:24,102 Hey, man, it's cool. 646 00:23:24,178 --> 00:23:25,468 It's cool. I get it. 647 00:23:25,553 --> 00:23:26,933 I mean, this marriage has always been bullshit 648 00:23:27,011 --> 00:23:29,141 on some level anyway. 649 00:23:29,220 --> 00:23:30,470 Just like theatre camp, 650 00:23:30,553 --> 00:23:32,393 I'm always getting fucked by gay guys. 651 00:23:33,804 --> 00:23:35,434 Wait a minute, what are you-- 652 00:23:35,512 --> 00:23:37,302 Duh. Blair's gay. 653 00:23:37,387 --> 00:23:39,297 My hubby likes chubby. Mm. 654 00:23:39,387 --> 00:23:41,847 Gotta go find the ladies' room. 655 00:23:41,929 --> 00:23:43,179 - That's the men's. - Oopsies! 656 00:23:49,637 --> 00:23:51,507 - What happened? - What'd you get? 657 00:23:51,595 --> 00:23:52,425 I'm out. 658 00:23:52,512 --> 00:23:54,472 Fuck you and the SEC. 659 00:23:54,553 --> 00:23:55,853 Do your fucking worst. 660 00:23:55,929 --> 00:23:56,889 AH, fuck! 661 00:23:56,970 --> 00:23:57,970 My bisque! 662 00:23:59,345 --> 00:24:00,755 Have a seat. We gotta talk. 663 00:24:00,845 --> 00:24:02,925 Oh, Jesus. 664 00:24:03,011 --> 00:24:04,851 Blair's trying to make a move against both of us. 665 00:24:04,929 --> 00:24:07,549 All right, look, Mo, I know this wedding's 666 00:24:07,637 --> 00:24:09,547 got your brain cross-wired and shit, 667 00:24:09,637 --> 00:24:11,507 but honestly, these-- these mind games 668 00:24:11,595 --> 00:24:13,095 that you're pulling--it's-- it's getting sad. 669 00:24:13,178 --> 00:24:15,388 Listen, I just bumped into Tiff, all right? 670 00:24:15,470 --> 00:24:17,430 Now, she's pretty plastered, but she still managed 671 00:24:17,512 --> 00:24:19,512 to drop a couple bombshells, like one, 672 00:24:19,595 --> 00:24:21,675 she knows about, and is in on the Georgina Play, 673 00:24:21,762 --> 00:24:24,222 because two, her marriage is a fraud, 674 00:24:24,303 --> 00:24:26,143 because three, Blair is gay. 675 00:24:26,220 --> 00:24:27,470 Oh, come on! 676 00:24:27,553 --> 00:24:28,683 Whoo! I'm back. 677 00:24:28,762 --> 00:24:29,642 Keith! 678 00:24:29,720 --> 00:24:31,050 Sorry I was acting weird, 679 00:24:31,136 --> 00:24:32,216 but now I'm ready to talk about 680 00:24:32,303 --> 00:24:33,933 illegal shit, Georgina shit... 681 00:24:34,011 --> 00:24:36,221 Wanna commit a murder? Let's do it. I'm in. Let's go. 682 00:24:36,303 --> 00:24:37,893 Keith, can you give us a sec? 683 00:24:37,970 --> 00:24:40,390 Your boy Mo here is jealous, as usual, 684 00:24:40,470 --> 00:24:42,600 and now he's trying to convince me 685 00:24:42,679 --> 00:24:45,969 that Blair is a gay criminal mastermind. 686 00:24:46,053 --> 00:24:47,473 Yeah, of course Blair's gay. I thought everyone knew that. 687 00:24:47,553 --> 00:24:48,893 Wait, how the fuck do you know? 688 00:24:48,970 --> 00:24:50,140 How the fuck does he know? 689 00:24:50,220 --> 00:24:51,140 I-I-I don't know. I'm just saying, 690 00:24:51,220 --> 00:24:52,550 maybe, like, Mo and I-- 691 00:24:52,637 --> 00:24:54,757 we have just better gay radar than you. 692 00:24:54,845 --> 00:24:56,295 It's--I wish there was an easier way to say that, 693 00:24:56,387 --> 00:24:57,467 like a sniglet. 694 00:24:57,553 --> 00:24:58,473 What the fuck he just say? 695 00:24:58,553 --> 00:24:59,473 Yeah, it is a little clunky. 696 00:24:59,553 --> 00:25:00,393 Oh, got it. 697 00:25:00,470 --> 00:25:02,100 Navi-gay-tion. 698 00:25:02,178 --> 00:25:03,718 Holy shit! 699 00:25:03,804 --> 00:25:05,604 I'm back, baby! I gotta do some coke. 700 00:25:06,845 --> 00:25:08,255 Okay, Dawn? 701 00:25:08,345 --> 00:25:10,545 I'm sorry. I'm not bullshitting you. 702 00:25:10,637 --> 00:25:12,677 You're always bullshitting me. All right, that's it. 703 00:25:12,762 --> 00:25:13,682 Wait a second. 704 00:25:19,095 --> 00:25:22,045 ♪ somber music ♪ 705 00:25:24,095 --> 00:25:25,715 Recognize this? 706 00:25:27,095 --> 00:25:27,755 Is that-- 707 00:25:27,845 --> 00:25:29,425 Yeah. 708 00:25:29,512 --> 00:25:31,852 I told you, when it comes to real shit, 709 00:25:31,929 --> 00:25:33,389 I'm as real as it gets. 710 00:25:34,887 --> 00:25:36,347 Now think about it. Why would he ask 711 00:25:36,428 --> 00:25:38,258 for six percent on the nose? 712 00:25:38,345 --> 00:25:39,505 When five percent gets it done. 713 00:25:39,595 --> 00:25:41,345 It's a done deal. Six percent, 714 00:25:41,428 --> 00:25:42,178 I'd lose control of the Jammer Group. 715 00:25:42,261 --> 00:25:43,301 I can't do that. 716 00:25:43,387 --> 00:25:45,547 He knows that. He's stalling. 717 00:25:45,637 --> 00:25:48,677 'Cause he's trying to run the Georgina Play for himself. 718 00:25:48,762 --> 00:25:49,932 Exactly. 719 00:25:50,011 --> 00:25:51,601 Fuck! 720 00:25:51,679 --> 00:25:53,719 Oh, God. W-wait. 721 00:25:53,804 --> 00:25:55,394 Why is he dating me? 722 00:25:55,470 --> 00:25:57,850 Maybe he thought he could get your shares 723 00:25:57,929 --> 00:25:59,139 or just throw us off the scent, you know, 724 00:25:59,220 --> 00:26:00,010 try to take our eyes off the prize. 725 00:26:00,095 --> 00:26:02,135 I don't know. 726 00:26:02,220 --> 00:26:04,350 Damn, damn, damn! 727 00:26:04,428 --> 00:26:07,218 I swear, I am gonna kill that motherfucker! 728 00:26:07,303 --> 00:26:08,473 Dawn, Dawn, listen. 729 00:26:08,553 --> 00:26:10,513 Now, I know I've been shitty to you 730 00:26:10,595 --> 00:26:12,345 - in the past... - Yeah. 731 00:26:12,428 --> 00:26:13,468 ...And the recent past... 732 00:26:13,553 --> 00:26:14,973 Yeah. 733 00:26:15,053 --> 00:26:16,803 - ...And this morning. - Yeah. 734 00:26:16,887 --> 00:26:20,347 But--but it's gotta be you and me now, 735 00:26:20,428 --> 00:26:22,678 okay? Together. 736 00:26:22,762 --> 00:26:25,012 Partners. 737 00:26:30,345 --> 00:26:33,215 Partners. 738 00:26:33,303 --> 00:26:35,433 So what do we do now? 739 00:26:36,887 --> 00:26:39,507 Well... 740 00:26:39,595 --> 00:26:41,925 ...now we give him exactly what he wants. 741 00:26:43,970 --> 00:26:47,350 Well, all things considered, it was a decent wedding. 742 00:26:47,428 --> 00:26:49,428 It was a great wedding. 743 00:26:49,512 --> 00:26:51,392 - Oh, hey. 744 00:26:51,470 --> 00:26:53,180 So in the end, this earring 745 00:26:53,261 --> 00:26:55,221 tie pin thingy-- 746 00:26:55,303 --> 00:26:58,473 it actually was kind of lucky, huh? 747 00:26:58,553 --> 00:27:00,053 Hm. 748 00:27:00,136 --> 00:27:02,596 I want you to have the other one 749 00:27:02,679 --> 00:27:04,299 to remember me by. 750 00:27:04,387 --> 00:27:06,547 To remember you by. 751 00:27:06,637 --> 00:27:08,137 How could I forget you? 752 00:27:10,053 --> 00:27:12,433 You're my first, 753 00:27:12,512 --> 00:27:15,642 and my wife. 754 00:27:17,512 --> 00:27:19,142 I-I'm... 755 00:27:21,470 --> 00:27:23,800 I'm really sorry, Tiff. 756 00:27:23,887 --> 00:27:26,967 It's okay. 757 00:27:27,053 --> 00:27:28,053 I'm a lot. 758 00:27:29,553 --> 00:27:31,643 I am, and it's-- 759 00:27:31,720 --> 00:27:33,300 Look, it's-- 760 00:27:33,387 --> 00:27:35,717 it's okay to be confused. 761 00:27:35,804 --> 00:27:37,894 I mean, not everyone can be as sure of themselves as I am. 762 00:27:42,136 --> 00:27:45,676 I do love you. 763 00:27:45,762 --> 00:27:47,852 I love you, too. 764 00:27:52,387 --> 00:27:53,677 To the Georgina Play. 765 00:27:53,762 --> 00:27:55,052 ♪ percussive music ♪ 766 00:27:55,136 --> 00:27:56,466 To the Georgina Play. 767 00:27:57,762 --> 00:27:59,142 To the Georgina Play. 768 00:28:01,178 --> 00:28:02,678 Oh, I need 769 00:28:02,762 --> 00:28:03,932 - to say it, too? - Well, I mean-- 770 00:28:04,011 --> 00:28:05,051 I thought it was implied. 771 00:28:05,136 --> 00:28:07,006 To the Georgina Play. 772 00:28:08,553 --> 00:28:11,473 ♪ ominous synth music ♪