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- Synced and corrected by Firefly -
- www.addic7ed.com -

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Previously on Black Monday...

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- Whoa!
- We thought

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you might call the wedding off

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after your whole
engagement party fiasco.

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- Oh!
- What?

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- Oh!
- Oh, my God!

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As if, slut!

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I found these

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at the Georginas' apartment.

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They must have kidnapped
Tiff themselves.

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We want Maurice Monroe,

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and you are gonna give him to us.

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I want a divorce.

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Blair is in love with me, and I think

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I'm falling for him, too.

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_

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_

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_

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_

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Oof.

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I still can't believe you
left Spencer for Blair.

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You love bitches
more than Billie Jean King.

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Do you work on these at home?

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- No.
- No?

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- Whatever.
- Yeah.

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- Sometimes on the toilet.
- Okay.

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What I'm saying is,
if these guys are your type,

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what'd you ever see in me?

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You are the biggest bitch of all.

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You're afraid of love.

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Did you know the song
that knocked this song

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out of the number one spot

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was also a Shondells cover,

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"Mony Mony." The '80s suck.

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Yeah, well, did you know
that I paid good "mony mony"

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to a girl named Shondell

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to put my number one in her spot?

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I dare you to tell the truth one time.

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Red or white?

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Or I could mix 'em. You...
strike me as a pink guy.

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- What the fuck are you talking...
- You know what? Take your time.

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We're not going anywhere.

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Uh, can I order something?

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Caterers are terrible.

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Babe, this is really...

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- good.
- Right?

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Tiffany better look out,

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'cause there's a new Tiffany
in town who can butcher

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other people's songs
even better.

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That means a lot. You know how important

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- malls are to me.
- Yeah.

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In fact, can I get your autograph?

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Oh, my God. Of course!

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Ah, no, seriously, though,
just while I got you...

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- What's this now?
- Um...

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...it's just, you know,

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normal wedding paperwork. Uh,

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we got a marriage license,
we got a power of attorney...

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- Power of attorney?
- Well, I mean, wouldn't you rather

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I take care of all that
boring financial junk

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so you can focus on all your...

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...important, you know, stuff

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you do during the daytime?

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- I mean, I am so busy...
- Yeah, I know.

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But I can't sign that. I'm sorry.
While I got you,

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there is something I
kind of need you to sign.

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Well, what's this now?

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Yeah!

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Thank you, Tiffany, and thank you, Dawn,

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- for hosting this rehearsal dinner.
- Let me tell you something.

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I am not afraid of love, Dawn.

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- Mm.
- I'm not.

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In fact, I was gonna do

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this whole fucking thing with you.

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W-what? What?

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What's that supposed to mean?

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I was gonna propose, okay?

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Bullshit.

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I... I had the goddamn ring
and everything, Dawn.

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- Oh, yeah? Okay, yeah?
- Okay, yeah.

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- I was gonna do all of it.
- All right, when?

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That night we went
horseback riding upstate.

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We never went horseback riding upstate.

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- Exactly.
- What's that supposed to mean?

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Oh, thanks to Maurice for coming up

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with this last-second

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wedding venue for tomorrow after we lost

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our spot at the Plaza

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during Tiff's and Blair's
brief rumspringa.

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Is this... Is this...

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You want me to sign a prenup?

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Okay, calm down.
My daddy will not let me

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marry you without it.

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He's very protective over his money.

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I mean, who cares, really?

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Unless our entire...

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11-year relationship was just a big ruse

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for you to get your
hands on Georgina Jeans.

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It's insane.

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To true love.

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- Aww.
- True love.

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What are you talking about?

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Do you want to? I
mean, if you want to go,

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- we can go.
- Okay.

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- Yeah?
- Yeah.

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Don't forget to pull out, Dawn.

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Don't worry, babe.
He's just mad that I got the girl.

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"They don't always leave

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with the ones they came in with."

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You know what else they say.

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"You'd have to be one dumb hick fuck

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to be messing around
with your girlfriend

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when you're about to marry someone else

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in order to pull off
a year-long long con

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with 60 mil on the line,
you dumb hick fuck."

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You don't hear that one quite as much.

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Different circles.

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Apparently.

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Hey!

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- Hey.
- Hey.

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- For you.
- Thank you.

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- Yum?
- No, thanks.

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I'm off champagne since I drove home

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from my divorce-iversary

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and hit-and-run'd a...

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- ...deer...
- Oh. Friend of my father's.

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Keith, he's telling a sweet story.

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Sorry, asthma. My whole life.

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Probably wondering,
"Hey, why haven't I ever

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heard about that?" Well, it's, uh...

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it's a good story and a
long one, so buckle up...

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Nobody gives a shit, Keith.

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- At all.
- Seconded.

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Okay, champagne

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for a sham marriage.

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To the Georgina...

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Georgina play...

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Uh, well, I'd like to, uh...

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to thank all of my groomsmen

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- with a little something...
- Mm.

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Inspired by the man who
brought us all together.

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For you

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- And for the grooms-lady.
- Yes.

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You said all your groomsmen.
You ain't got nothing for old Mo?

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You already have one.

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- Oh, my God!
- Holy shit!

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It's Mo's lucky watch!

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- No.
- This is his exact watch.

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This is not my goddamn watch.

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You cannot buy my watch.
My watch is custom-made.

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Yeah, as are these
very detailed replicas,

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which I call Mo-lexes.

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- Mo-lex?
- Yeah, just a little something

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to remind us of the greatest lesson

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we've all learned from you, Mo.

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Fuck 'em all.

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Fuck 'em all.

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Fuck 'em all!

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Thank you.

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Well, all right,

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my little crime lords

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and Traci Lords.

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Let's get those shares
that you parked...

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Jesus, take it outside, Keith,

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before we all catch bald.

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- Eww.
- Oh, Keith,

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give me those shares that you parked.

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Dust.

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And here are the shares
that I parked with Spencer.

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Got 'em in the divorce.
Only cost me our Airplane!

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We had a tough time dividing
up our Betamax collection.

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- Oh, babe.
- I know.

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So including our shell companies,

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we are at 45%.

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Six percent more from Tiff
when you guys get hitched,

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and we will have a score
that makes Warren Buffet

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look like Warren Snack.

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That would've landed
if he would pronounce his name

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"buffet" like a real man.

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- No, no, no, babe, it landed.
- You got it?

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Yeah, I got it.

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So, what's everyone
gonna do with their money?

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I'm buying myself a new Limbo.

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Come on, Mo.

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I'm also gonna pick up
that red Keith Haring series

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I've had my eye on for years.

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Come on, Mo.

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Okay, can we not get distracted
by red Harings and focus?

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Right now, Blair,

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it's on you, baby.

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All good in the...

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...municipality,

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except for, uh, just...

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just one... just one
tiny, teeny little thing.

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Oh, Blair's getting
cold feet. Here we go.

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It's not time for cold feet.

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It's time for hot feet, like
Downtown Julie Brown-hot feet.

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Like, Oh, my God, what
I wouldn't give to take

200
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those little piggies to market.
Feet meat.

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Yeah, Wayne, feet meat. Yes!

202
00:08:03,275 --> 00:08:05,695
No, no.

203
00:08:05,720 --> 00:08:09,300
No, it's just Tiff's dad
wants me to sign this, like,

204
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just really silly little...

205
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...prenup thing before we get married.

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00:08:14,994 --> 00:08:16,374
Come on, for real, Blair?

207
00:08:16,399 --> 00:08:19,060
Goddamn it. Do you have
any idea what it's taken for me

208
00:08:19,085 --> 00:08:20,505
to get where I am?

209
00:08:20,530 --> 00:08:22,078
Any idea?

210
00:08:22,103 --> 00:08:25,313
I have shed blood, sweat, and tears.

211
00:08:25,338 --> 00:08:29,244
I have unearthed secrets,
got winded and fired.

212
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You're just listing bands.

213
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It doesn't fucking matter!
What... here's what I'm saying.

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00:08:32,457 --> 00:08:34,053
You want to sit in the big chair, Blair,

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00:08:34,077 --> 00:08:36,459
you better bring a goddamn flashlight,
'cause it gets dark.

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This is the Geor-jeana Play,

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00:08:37,855 --> 00:08:39,105
not the Geor-jyna Play.

218
00:08:39,130 --> 00:08:40,461
You know why I'm saying Geor-jyna?

219
00:08:40,485 --> 00:08:41,842
When I look down, does
it help you understand

220
00:08:41,866 --> 00:08:42,971
why I'm pronouncing it "jeye-na"?

221
00:08:42,995 --> 00:08:44,596
- Do you know what I'm saying?
- That I have a vagina.

222
00:08:44,620 --> 00:08:46,279
Exactly. You got some balls?

223
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You go fucking prove it.

224
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Show me! Go get it!

225
00:08:49,529 --> 00:08:51,269
You go get it, baby!

226
00:08:51,719 --> 00:08:52,839
- Hey, Dawn?
- Yeah.

227
00:08:53,077 --> 00:08:54,077
Goofy and Mickey called.

228
00:08:54,235 --> 00:08:56,985
Fuck you.

229
00:09:11,290 --> 00:09:12,330
Ooh, ooh,

230
00:09:12,355 --> 00:09:13,735
ladies, please, please.

231
00:09:13,760 --> 00:09:15,794
I'm just one man.

232
00:09:16,945 --> 00:09:18,315
The fuck is this?

233
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I don't know. It must be my, uh,

234
00:09:19,937 --> 00:09:21,504
magnetic personality.

235
00:09:21,529 --> 00:09:23,540
You think we're bluffing?

236
00:09:23,565 --> 00:09:25,427
I will go right now and pull your son

237
00:09:25,452 --> 00:09:27,154
out of whatever class he's flunking.

238
00:09:27,177 --> 00:09:28,547
And I'll pull your boyfriend

239
00:09:28,572 --> 00:09:30,462
out of whatever ass he's fucking.

240
00:09:30,487 --> 00:09:31,884
Deb, we talked about this.

241
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Sorry, I thought you were setting me up.

242
00:09:34,911 --> 00:09:36,283
No. You're out of chances, Keith.

243
00:09:36,308 --> 00:09:37,857
Get Mo on tape today.

244
00:09:37,882 --> 00:09:40,130
Okay, he's gonna figure out
I'm wearing a fucking wire.

245
00:09:40,155 --> 00:09:42,271
I look like Teddy Ruxpeen down there.

246
00:09:42,296 --> 00:09:44,630
Well, you better try, because
we're gonna have eyes on you

247
00:09:44,646 --> 00:09:47,031
all day and your stupid fucking peen.

248
00:09:47,056 --> 00:09:48,287
Now, if you'll excuse us,

249
00:09:48,312 --> 00:09:49,594
we gotta get back to the kitchen.

250
00:09:49,618 --> 00:09:51,078
The lobster is not gonna bisque itself,

251
00:09:51,102 --> 00:09:53,658
and Todd is riding my hide.

252
00:09:53,748 --> 00:09:55,288
Who's Todd?

253
00:09:55,368 --> 00:09:57,618
Our cater captain.

254
00:09:57,643 --> 00:09:59,871
I know they say silicone's bad for you,

255
00:09:59,896 --> 00:10:02,190
but these saltwater
jugs are sloshing around

256
00:10:02,215 --> 00:10:04,053
like my driver's ed teacher's water bed.

257
00:10:04,078 --> 00:10:05,078
- Oh, I'm jealous.
- RIP.

258
00:10:05,118 --> 00:10:06,618
Can you just stuff them in?

259
00:10:06,643 --> 00:10:08,153
- We gotta jet.
- Okay, okay, okay.

260
00:10:08,178 --> 00:10:09,594
Uh, Tiff?

261
00:10:09,618 --> 00:10:11,172
Blair! Oh, my God, you can't see

262
00:10:11,196 --> 00:10:12,400
my dress before the ceremony!

263
00:10:12,425 --> 00:10:13,642
My eyes are closed. I just...

264
00:10:13,667 --> 00:10:15,149
I need to talk to you.
It's important. Ladies,

265
00:10:15,173 --> 00:10:16,173
can you give us the room?

266
00:10:16,198 --> 00:10:17,878
We'll meet you in the
horse-drawn carriage.

267
00:10:17,903 --> 00:10:19,353
- Okay.
- Ooh, shotgun.

268
00:10:19,378 --> 00:10:20,513
On the horse?

269
00:10:20,538 --> 00:10:22,328
Jesus. Oh, sorry.

270
00:10:22,353 --> 00:10:23,983
Sorry. I'm sorry.

271
00:10:24,008 --> 00:10:25,888
Hello?

272
00:10:25,913 --> 00:10:27,256
Oh, God, did somebody
else come in the room now?

273
00:10:27,280 --> 00:10:29,770
No, I mean hello as in "talk, monkey."

274
00:10:29,795 --> 00:10:32,288
I will provide visual context
as necessary. Go.

275
00:10:32,368 --> 00:10:33,828
So...

276
00:10:33,908 --> 00:10:36,618
the real reason that...

277
00:10:36,643 --> 00:10:39,063
Mo hired me after no one else would

278
00:10:39,088 --> 00:10:43,093
is because he is the
reason no one else would.

279
00:10:43,118 --> 00:10:45,382
He tricked me into working for him

280
00:10:45,407 --> 00:10:47,987
so he could take over
your dad's company.

281
00:10:48,012 --> 00:10:49,882
I didn't know about it, but...

282
00:10:49,907 --> 00:10:53,407
but I do now, and...

283
00:10:53,644 --> 00:10:55,699
I don't know, Tiff. I think
maybe we should do it...

284
00:10:55,724 --> 00:10:57,489
Ow! God.

285
00:10:57,514 --> 00:11:00,013
Even with my eyes closed,
I should've seen that coming.

286
00:11:00,038 --> 00:11:01,914
Are you insane?

287
00:11:01,939 --> 00:11:04,396
How could you do this
to me, and my dad...

288
00:11:04,421 --> 00:11:06,005
he has treated you like a son.

289
00:11:06,030 --> 00:11:07,785
Sure, in the way

290
00:11:07,810 --> 00:11:09,699
that dads are super cold to their sons

291
00:11:09,724 --> 00:11:11,537
to try to get them to stop
acting like such pussies,

292
00:11:11,561 --> 00:11:13,904
but still, how could
you betray my family?

293
00:11:13,929 --> 00:11:16,596
Tiff, they betrayed
you! They're the ones

294
00:11:16,621 --> 00:11:17,758
who were behind your kidnapping!

295
00:11:17,782 --> 00:11:19,082
Okay, what?

296
00:11:19,107 --> 00:11:20,187
Uh, y... think about it.

297
00:11:20,212 --> 00:11:21,501
Georgina has been losing money

298
00:11:21,526 --> 00:11:23,464
for years, and since you got snatched,

299
00:11:23,489 --> 00:11:26,759
sales have quadrupled,

300
00:11:26,784 --> 00:11:28,154
and...

301
00:11:28,263 --> 00:11:30,473
And I found the magazines

302
00:11:30,498 --> 00:11:32,504
they cut the letters out
of for the ransom note.

303
00:11:33,783 --> 00:11:36,493
I'm... I'm really sorry.

304
00:11:41,609 --> 00:11:43,989
I mean, I-I...

305
00:11:44,069 --> 00:11:47,427
They have been talking a lot lately
about a game-changer,

306
00:11:47,452 --> 00:11:48,793
like Calvin Klein's Brooke Shields

307
00:11:48,817 --> 00:11:50,777
child porn campaign.

308
00:11:51,109 --> 00:11:52,449
Oh, my God.

309
00:11:52,474 --> 00:11:54,434
- Tiff, I'm so sorry.
- Oh, no.

310
00:11:54,459 --> 00:11:55,829
- Jesus.
- Okay, let's just open...

311
00:11:55,854 --> 00:11:58,144
- open your eyes.
- Okay.

312
00:11:58,336 --> 00:11:59,756
You look really beautiful.

313
00:12:00,859 --> 00:12:02,569
Thank you.

314
00:12:04,724 --> 00:12:07,224
I really want to cry, but
my makeup artist Karina

315
00:12:07,249 --> 00:12:08,789
charges by the lash.

316
00:12:08,814 --> 00:12:10,604
What the hell?

317
00:12:10,629 --> 00:12:13,049
Pretty sure this
wedding's fucked anyways.

318
00:12:13,327 --> 00:12:15,497
I'm sorry.

319
00:12:15,522 --> 00:12:18,242
At least maybe some good
can come out of this now.

320
00:12:18,267 --> 00:12:19,302
What?

321
00:12:20,373 --> 00:12:21,963
Money.

322
00:12:22,279 --> 00:12:23,279
A lot of money.

323
00:12:24,594 --> 00:12:26,474
And to be honest, I...

324
00:12:26,499 --> 00:12:28,118
I think this wedding has been fucked

325
00:12:28,143 --> 00:12:29,167
for a long time.

326
00:12:31,252 --> 00:12:34,029
There's... one more thing

327
00:12:34,054 --> 00:12:35,674
I have to tell you.

328
00:12:38,029 --> 00:12:40,649
What the fuck is taking them so long?

329
00:12:40,739 --> 00:12:42,819
Pssh, whatever it is, it's on you.

330
00:12:42,844 --> 00:12:44,458
On me? How is it on me?

331
00:12:44,483 --> 00:12:46,483
- This is your plan.
- My plan?

332
00:12:46,508 --> 00:12:48,718
My plan did not involve you fucking him.

333
00:12:49,199 --> 00:12:51,424
What happened to your "I
don't date coworkers" thing?

334
00:12:51,449 --> 00:12:52,666
Went right out the window, right?

335
00:12:52,690 --> 00:12:53,759
Thank God I didn't

336
00:12:53,784 --> 00:12:55,384
propose to you, you flip-flopper.

337
00:12:55,409 --> 00:12:56,851
You're really sticking with this whole

338
00:12:56,875 --> 00:12:58,915
imaginary horseback
proposal, aren't you?

339
00:12:58,940 --> 00:13:01,070
Never even been on a horse,

340
00:13:01,095 --> 00:13:03,595
unless you count that
tight end from the Colts,

341
00:13:03,969 --> 00:13:05,889
or that wide receiver from the Broncos,

342
00:13:05,914 --> 00:13:07,208
and then there was

343
00:13:07,233 --> 00:13:08,756
that quarterback from the Raiders.

344
00:13:08,781 --> 00:13:10,624
A raider is not a type of horse.

345
00:13:10,649 --> 00:13:12,179
This one was.

346
00:13:12,204 --> 00:13:13,504
You know what? You're right.

347
00:13:13,529 --> 00:13:15,399
We never had the horseback ride.

348
00:13:15,489 --> 00:13:17,819
You know why? Because we broke up.

349
00:13:17,899 --> 00:13:19,359
You remember

350
00:13:19,384 --> 00:13:20,465
when we were at my lake house,

351
00:13:20,489 --> 00:13:21,567
and you said you wanted to go

352
00:13:21,591 --> 00:13:23,263
buy that little antique
ring that you saw

353
00:13:23,288 --> 00:13:24,927
the day before, and I
said, "Don't do it, Dawn.

354
00:13:24,951 --> 00:13:26,548
You can't really afford
it on your salary"?

355
00:13:26,572 --> 00:13:29,020
Then we had the whole
"make me a partner dance"

356
00:13:29,045 --> 00:13:31,375
that was all the rage
for us... literally.

357
00:13:31,511 --> 00:13:32,781
Well, the reason I made the comment

358
00:13:32,805 --> 00:13:34,975
was because I went out
and bought that ring

359
00:13:35,000 --> 00:13:36,660
the night before when you were asleep

360
00:13:36,939 --> 00:13:38,399
so that I could surprise you

361
00:13:38,424 --> 00:13:40,134
on the horseback ride

362
00:13:40,159 --> 00:13:41,909
that I had to cancel

363
00:13:41,934 --> 00:13:44,064
'cause you stormed out.

364
00:13:44,089 --> 00:13:45,919
That's the fucking truth.

365
00:13:49,879 --> 00:13:51,089
Bullshit.

366
00:13:51,114 --> 00:13:53,114
Marquis cut,

367
00:13:53,139 --> 00:13:55,347
pavé band, more baguettes

368
00:13:55,372 --> 00:13:57,542
than Gerard Depardieu's colon.

369
00:14:01,514 --> 00:14:03,514
Wow.

370
00:14:03,539 --> 00:14:05,209
I should've known.

371
00:14:05,234 --> 00:14:08,154
Maybe I sort of did.

372
00:14:08,179 --> 00:14:10,429
It all makes so much sense now.

373
00:14:11,639 --> 00:14:13,889
I'm so sorry,

374
00:14:13,914 --> 00:14:16,534
and if... if you wanna

375
00:14:16,559 --> 00:14:20,004
call off the wedding,
I... I don't blame you.

376
00:14:20,029 --> 00:14:22,899
The only marriage I want to
end is mine with my parents.

377
00:14:23,044 --> 00:14:25,544
I tried to get emancipated
from them in sixth grade

378
00:14:25,569 --> 00:14:27,053
because they wouldn't
let me shave my legs,

379
00:14:27,077 --> 00:14:28,911
and we settled on a cartilage pierce

380
00:14:28,936 --> 00:14:30,816
and another credit card.

381
00:14:31,148 --> 00:14:34,438
It's time.

382
00:14:34,463 --> 00:14:36,988
Blair, you are the smartest person

383
00:14:37,013 --> 00:14:38,513
I've ever known,

384
00:14:38,653 --> 00:14:40,403
and my private school had Orientals.

385
00:14:42,663 --> 00:14:44,293
I want in.

386
00:14:44,318 --> 00:14:45,818
You do?

387
00:14:46,149 --> 00:14:48,149
I do.

388
00:14:54,904 --> 00:14:56,114
Oh!

389
00:15:00,464 --> 00:15:01,884
- Yeah.
- Yes!

390
00:15:01,909 --> 00:15:02,913
All right!

391
00:15:05,648 --> 00:15:06,988
Ladies and gentlemen,

392
00:15:07,013 --> 00:15:08,843
presenting for the very first time,

393
00:15:08,868 --> 00:15:11,868
Mr. and Mrs. Georgina!

394
00:15:12,279 --> 00:15:15,359
I know this is a sham
wedding, but I can't believe

395
00:15:15,384 --> 00:15:16,582
you made me take your last name.

396
00:15:16,606 --> 00:15:18,659
Tiff Pfaff? Thoundth like I have

397
00:15:18,684 --> 00:15:20,144
a thpeeth impediment.

398
00:15:20,169 --> 00:15:21,585
Why don't we clear some space...

399
00:15:21,609 --> 00:15:23,069
so Blair and Tiff...

400
00:15:23,094 --> 00:15:24,724
Are you sure you want to do this?

401
00:15:24,749 --> 00:15:26,395
...can have their very first dance.

402
00:15:26,420 --> 00:15:27,575
I know this is a sham wedding,

403
00:15:27,599 --> 00:15:28,880
but I have been dreaming about this day

404
00:15:28,904 --> 00:15:32,114
since I was a little girl, so please,

405
00:15:32,139 --> 00:15:36,009
just give me this.

406
00:15:36,034 --> 00:15:37,734
Okay.

407
00:15:37,759 --> 00:15:39,509
Thank you.

408
00:15:58,649 --> 00:16:00,449
Are they dancing to the national anthem?

409
00:16:00,529 --> 00:16:02,899
Oh, yeah. Tiff's a huge Republican.

410
00:16:48,699 --> 00:16:51,449
Do Republicans hate America?
'Cause this is, like,

411
00:16:51,474 --> 00:16:53,394
a dance version of burning the flag.

412
00:16:53,419 --> 00:16:55,169
Wildly disrespectful.

413
00:16:55,359 --> 00:16:57,399
Yeah.

414
00:16:57,489 --> 00:17:01,239
Excuse me.

415
00:17:33,460 --> 00:17:34,489
Hey!

416
00:17:34,514 --> 00:17:35,888
You better slow down

417
00:17:35,913 --> 00:17:37,529
and focus on getting tape on Mo.

418
00:17:37,554 --> 00:17:38,644
Guys, guys, look.

419
00:17:38,669 --> 00:17:40,589
Maybe we should, I don't know,

420
00:17:40,614 --> 00:17:42,944
give this whole blackmail
thing a second look, right?

421
00:17:42,969 --> 00:17:44,276
- Get to fucking work, Keith.
- Yeah!

422
00:17:44,300 --> 00:17:45,300
Fine.

423
00:17:45,569 --> 00:17:46,819
Bus these.

424
00:17:46,844 --> 00:17:48,515
- Fuck you.
- Stay in character.

425
00:17:48,540 --> 00:17:49,580
He's right.

426
00:17:49,605 --> 00:17:51,445
What? No, Deb... Deb!

427
00:17:54,289 --> 00:17:55,459
Hey.

428
00:17:55,484 --> 00:17:57,694
How'd it go? You get it done?

429
00:17:57,719 --> 00:17:59,269
- Blair?
- Yeah.

430
00:17:59,294 --> 00:18:00,566
No prenup.

431
00:18:00,591 --> 00:18:02,135
Oh, my God.

432
00:18:02,160 --> 00:18:04,214
Congrats.

433
00:18:04,239 --> 00:18:05,899
I can't fucking believe this.

434
00:18:05,989 --> 00:18:08,508
Jesus Christ. I just pulled off
the greatest trade

435
00:18:08,533 --> 00:18:11,329
- in the history of Wall Street.
- We.

436
00:18:11,354 --> 00:18:13,001
We. You're right, you're right.

437
00:18:13,026 --> 00:18:14,739
We. Ah.

438
00:18:14,819 --> 00:18:16,574
Hey, you know what?
Let's bury the hatchet.

439
00:18:16,599 --> 00:18:17,889
Come on, toast. Toast.

440
00:18:18,239 --> 00:18:19,649
I don't feel like toasting, Mo.

441
00:18:19,739 --> 00:18:22,569
Blair, come on.

442
00:18:22,594 --> 00:18:24,594
Look, I know it stings a
little bit right now, kid.

443
00:18:24,699 --> 00:18:26,699
You feel like you're losing your values

444
00:18:26,724 --> 00:18:29,299
or whatever, but you know
what never loses its value?

445
00:18:29,324 --> 00:18:31,114
The Jasper John I'm gonna buy.

446
00:18:31,652 --> 00:18:33,102
That's a toilet completely muralized

447
00:18:33,127 --> 00:18:35,432
by Jasper Johns. I'm gonna
stick it in my Basqui-yacht,

448
00:18:35,465 --> 00:18:37,425
which is a yacht completely
muralized by Basquiat.

449
00:18:37,449 --> 00:18:40,109
Shut the fuck up.

450
00:18:40,199 --> 00:18:42,399
You know, the saying's
not "An endless stream

451
00:18:42,424 --> 00:18:43,634
of bullshit and bad puns

452
00:18:43,659 --> 00:18:44,869
is the soul of wit," right?

453
00:18:46,151 --> 00:18:48,611
But I am the soul... man of wit.

454
00:18:48,636 --> 00:18:50,695
- Mm.
- Okay, fuck it, Blair,

455
00:18:50,720 --> 00:18:51,765
all right? You don't
want to be my friend,

456
00:18:51,789 --> 00:18:53,749
don't be my friend. Who cares?

457
00:18:53,774 --> 00:18:56,314
But I want that six percent
before the bell tomorrow.

458
00:18:56,504 --> 00:18:57,704
Oh, oh.

459
00:18:57,755 --> 00:18:59,875
About that,

460
00:18:59,900 --> 00:19:01,400
I have terms.

461
00:19:01,819 --> 00:19:04,359
Excuse me?

462
00:19:04,384 --> 00:19:06,182
If we pull this off,
The Jammer Group goes

463
00:19:06,207 --> 00:19:08,824
from being the fucking
Yankees to the Mets overnight.

464
00:19:08,854 --> 00:19:10,331
You're gonna be offered
every sweet-ass deal

465
00:19:10,355 --> 00:19:11,691
on the street, and I want my piece.

466
00:19:11,715 --> 00:19:13,315
We have a deal, Blair.

467
00:19:13,340 --> 00:19:16,180
No, we had a deal.

468
00:19:16,260 --> 00:19:20,090
You say I'm like a son to you, right?

469
00:19:20,180 --> 00:19:22,196
So I think it's time you
make me part of the family.

470
00:19:22,220 --> 00:19:24,340
How about six percent of Georgina

471
00:19:24,365 --> 00:19:26,397
for six percent of The Jammer Group?

472
00:19:28,825 --> 00:19:31,365
How about six percent of kissing my ass?

473
00:19:33,220 --> 00:19:35,335
You know, I went to Berger's Burgers

474
00:19:35,360 --> 00:19:37,087
the other night,

475
00:19:37,112 --> 00:19:39,047
and they have a sign there that says

476
00:19:39,072 --> 00:19:41,867
they've only been open for two years.

477
00:19:42,180 --> 00:19:43,680
So I did a little research,

478
00:19:43,705 --> 00:19:45,665
and there's no record of an orphanage

479
00:19:45,690 --> 00:19:49,980
in that area anywhere.

480
00:19:50,180 --> 00:19:52,510
So I did a little more research

481
00:19:52,535 --> 00:19:53,945
and found there's no record

482
00:19:53,970 --> 00:19:56,720
of a Maurice Monroe...

483
00:19:56,800 --> 00:20:00,090
anywhere before 1974.

484
00:20:01,855 --> 00:20:03,775
I knew you were full of shit,

485
00:20:03,800 --> 00:20:06,470
but I didn't think you were all shit.

486
00:20:06,550 --> 00:20:08,470
I wonder what the SEC would say

487
00:20:08,550 --> 00:20:10,510
if they knew the Exchange issued a seat

488
00:20:10,535 --> 00:20:12,575
to a man who doesn't exist.

489
00:20:13,159 --> 00:20:16,029
Wow. You really have crossed

490
00:20:16,054 --> 00:20:17,720
all the way over to the dark side.

491
00:20:17,800 --> 00:20:21,340
I learned it by watching you, Dad.

492
00:20:21,430 --> 00:20:24,890
Well, part of me wants
to give you a big old hug.

493
00:20:24,970 --> 00:20:27,760
A bigger part of me wants to
beat the dog shit out of you

494
00:20:27,840 --> 00:20:30,390
in front of all your
friends and fake family.

495
00:20:30,470 --> 00:20:32,260
Take your best shot.

496
00:20:39,220 --> 00:20:40,260
Well played.

497
00:20:42,010 --> 00:20:44,390
Tell you what I will do.

498
00:20:44,470 --> 00:20:46,214
I will give you one percent.

499
00:20:46,239 --> 00:20:47,660
That's it.

500
00:20:47,685 --> 00:20:49,486
- That's my best and final offer.
- No, that's... That's cute,

501
00:20:49,510 --> 00:20:51,025
but this isn't a negotiation.

502
00:20:51,050 --> 00:20:52,930
Now, if you'll excuse me,

503
00:20:53,010 --> 00:20:55,590
I have to go do the fucking hokey-pokey.

504
00:20:58,220 --> 00:20:59,777
So what's six percent,

505
00:20:59,802 --> 00:21:01,206
hmm? You gave thirty percent

506
00:21:01,231 --> 00:21:02,346
to the fucking Yakuza.

507
00:21:02,371 --> 00:21:04,253
Let's do a little math, Dawn, all right?
Excuse me.

508
00:21:04,277 --> 00:21:05,695
Okay, now you have

509
00:21:05,720 --> 00:21:06,840
15 percent.

510
00:21:06,865 --> 00:21:08,235
Now, if you add the 30 percent

511
00:21:08,260 --> 00:21:10,010
that the Yakuza gave the Leighmans,

512
00:21:10,035 --> 00:21:12,575
and then six percent I'm
supposed to give to Blair,

513
00:21:12,600 --> 00:21:14,050
we add that together. What is that?

514
00:21:14,075 --> 00:21:16,008
51 percent. Okay?

515
00:21:16,033 --> 00:21:17,401
That would make me a minority owner

516
00:21:17,425 --> 00:21:18,866
of The Jammer Group. Now
I'm not gonna lose control

517
00:21:18,890 --> 00:21:20,260
of my own fucking company, Dawn.

518
00:21:20,285 --> 00:21:21,523
I get it, I get it.

519
00:21:21,548 --> 00:21:24,178
But if, you know, you were to...

520
00:21:24,203 --> 00:21:26,123
you know.

521
00:21:26,148 --> 00:21:28,107
You give a couple points.

522
00:21:28,132 --> 00:21:29,856
Two points, Dawn. Two fucking points!

523
00:21:29,881 --> 00:21:31,931
Fuck, no! No! This
is how I knew you were

524
00:21:31,956 --> 00:21:33,406
bullshitting about the
whole proposal thing.

525
00:21:33,430 --> 00:21:34,795
- I was...
- You would never be

526
00:21:34,820 --> 00:21:36,473
that thoughtful, because the only person

527
00:21:36,498 --> 00:21:37,760
you ever think of is yourself.

528
00:21:37,785 --> 00:21:38,905
- All right.
- You're a selfish piece

529
00:21:38,929 --> 00:21:40,357
- of shit, Mo.
- Jesus Christ,

530
00:21:40,382 --> 00:21:41,816
everybody's just
coming with both barrels

531
00:21:41,840 --> 00:21:43,255
at old fucking Mo today, right?

532
00:21:43,280 --> 00:21:45,360
I mean, really? Give
him some of my shares?

533
00:21:45,385 --> 00:21:47,580
The answer is no. No, "fuck no."

534
00:21:47,605 --> 00:21:48,815
Yeah, okay. Great.

535
00:21:48,840 --> 00:21:51,498
- Keith, Keith, hey.
- Shit.

536
00:21:51,523 --> 00:21:52,741
I gotta... I gotta talk to you, okay?

537
00:21:52,765 --> 00:21:53,920
The Georgina Play...

538
00:21:53,944 --> 00:21:55,304
...Is hitting a major fucking snag.

539
00:21:55,328 --> 00:21:57,640
Mm-mm, uh, no, I gotta go.
I gotta go. Yeah, I gotta run.

540
00:21:57,665 --> 00:21:58,671
Okay, fine, let's talk...

541
00:21:58,696 --> 00:21:59,902
No, I mean, I gotta run...

542
00:21:59,927 --> 00:22:01,939
I got, like, the runs.
The shits. I gotta shit.

543
00:22:01,964 --> 00:22:03,425
Okay, toilet. Perfect,
it's more private.

544
00:22:03,449 --> 00:22:04,731
No, no, no, you don't
want any part of this.

545
00:22:04,755 --> 00:22:06,224
- It's gonna be bad.
- Just crap quiet.

546
00:22:06,248 --> 00:22:07,804
Who gives a shit? You just gotta listen.

547
00:22:07,828 --> 00:22:08,868
The kid's squeezing me

548
00:22:08,893 --> 00:22:10,013
on the Georgina Play...

549
00:22:11,314 --> 00:22:13,078
...And I gotta admit, he's got me, man.

550
00:22:13,103 --> 00:22:14,377
If... if I don't give him what he wants,

551
00:22:14,401 --> 00:22:15,867
he's nuts enough to go to the Feds,

552
00:22:15,899 --> 00:22:17,770
- tell him all the illegal shit we've done.
- Oh! Oh!

553
00:22:17,794 --> 00:22:18,994
Like the Audi Play.

554
00:22:20,069 --> 00:22:21,171
You all right?

555
00:22:22,269 --> 00:22:24,899
Oh! Oh!

556
00:22:24,979 --> 00:22:27,200
Oh, sorry, man! Can we talk later?

557
00:22:27,225 --> 00:22:29,445
You know what? Maybe I
should call his bluff,

558
00:22:29,470 --> 00:22:31,001
you know, send the Yakuza over there

559
00:22:31,026 --> 00:22:32,041
- to beat the shit out of him.
- Oh, Jesus, the pain!

560
00:22:32,065 --> 00:22:33,395
- The pain!
- He's gotta know

561
00:22:33,423 --> 00:22:34,619
he's not dealing with a businessman

562
00:22:34,643 --> 00:22:36,394
right now, Keith. He's dealing
with a fucking criminal!

563
00:22:36,418 --> 00:22:38,398
No, no, no, no, no!

564
00:22:38,423 --> 00:22:39,923
No, God, fuck no. Jesus,

565
00:22:40,003 --> 00:22:41,648
Fuck piss. Shit no.

566
00:22:41,673 --> 00:22:43,963
I'm gonna give you a
little privacy, all right?

567
00:22:43,988 --> 00:22:45,198
Sounds good man. Sounds good.

568
00:22:45,223 --> 00:22:49,223
Good plan. Good talk, all right?

569
00:22:51,028 --> 00:22:52,988
Okay, girl, I don't know
why... you can... oh!

570
00:22:53,188 --> 00:22:54,848
Oh, Mo.

571
00:22:54,873 --> 00:22:56,608
Oh, my gosh, thank you
so much for getting us

572
00:22:56,632 --> 00:22:58,810
- the floor. What a great venue.
- Yeah, yeah.

573
00:22:58,834 --> 00:23:00,889
- Congrats.
- Whoa! Whoa, whoa, hey, let's see

574
00:23:00,914 --> 00:23:03,033
if we can geta bridesmaid or
something to hold your hair, okay?

575
00:23:03,057 --> 00:23:04,824
'Cause I got some real shit
I gotta deal with right now.

576
00:23:04,848 --> 00:23:06,909
Oh, I'm sorry. Do you have to go deal

577
00:23:06,934 --> 00:23:08,564
with a deal with my husband?

578
00:23:08,589 --> 00:23:11,169
'Cause shouldn't I be there too?

579
00:23:11,194 --> 00:23:13,814
I'm in. We're doing the Me Play.

580
00:23:15,537 --> 00:23:17,796
Wait a minute, what?

581
00:23:17,821 --> 00:23:19,788
Hey, man, it's cool.

582
00:23:19,813 --> 00:23:21,268
It's cool. I get it.

583
00:23:21,293 --> 00:23:22,729
I mean, this marriage
has always been bullshit

584
00:23:22,753 --> 00:23:24,391
on some level anyway.

585
00:23:24,416 --> 00:23:25,666
Just like theatre camp,

586
00:23:25,698 --> 00:23:28,087
I'm always getting fucked by gay guys.

587
00:23:29,387 --> 00:23:31,228
Wait a minute, what are you...

588
00:23:31,253 --> 00:23:32,830
Duh. Blair's gay.

589
00:23:32,855 --> 00:23:34,765
My hubby likes chubby. Mm.

590
00:23:34,790 --> 00:23:37,240
Gotta go find the ladies' room.

591
00:23:37,265 --> 00:23:38,955
- That's the men's.
- Oopsies!

592
00:23:45,318 --> 00:23:47,308
- What happened?
- What'd you get?

593
00:23:47,333 --> 00:23:48,173
I'm out.

594
00:23:48,198 --> 00:23:50,158
Fuck you and the SEC.

595
00:23:50,183 --> 00:23:51,473
Do your fucking worst.

596
00:23:51,498 --> 00:23:53,768
Ah, fuck! My bisque!

597
00:23:55,028 --> 00:23:56,265
Have a seat. We gotta talk.

598
00:23:56,290 --> 00:23:58,122
Oh, Jesus.

599
00:23:58,147 --> 00:24:00,497
Blair's trying to make a
move against both of us.

600
00:24:00,522 --> 00:24:03,051
All right, look, Mo,
I know this wedding's

601
00:24:03,076 --> 00:24:05,045
got your brain cross-wired and shit,

602
00:24:05,070 --> 00:24:07,044
but honestly, these... these mind games

603
00:24:07,056 --> 00:24:08,622
that you're pulling...
it's... it's getting sad.

604
00:24:08,646 --> 00:24:10,911
Listen, I just bumped
into Tiff, all right?

605
00:24:10,936 --> 00:24:12,896
Now, she's pretty plastered,
but she still managed

606
00:24:12,921 --> 00:24:14,921
to drop a couple bombshells, like one,

607
00:24:15,056 --> 00:24:17,146
she knows about, and is
in on the Georgina Play,

608
00:24:17,171 --> 00:24:19,631
because two, her marriage is a fraud,

609
00:24:19,656 --> 00:24:21,660
because three, Blair is gay.

610
00:24:21,685 --> 00:24:23,046
Oh, come on!

611
00:24:23,071 --> 00:24:24,201
Whoo! I'm back.

612
00:24:24,226 --> 00:24:26,211
Keith! Sorry I was acting weird,

613
00:24:26,236 --> 00:24:27,383
but now I'm ready to talk about

614
00:24:27,407 --> 00:24:29,250
illegal shit, Georgina shit...

615
00:24:29,275 --> 00:24:31,892
Wanna commit a murder? Let's
do it. I'm in. Let's go.

616
00:24:31,917 --> 00:24:33,356
Keith, can you give us a sec?

617
00:24:33,381 --> 00:24:36,399
Your boy Mo here is jealous, as usual,

618
00:24:36,424 --> 00:24:38,056
and now he's trying to convince me

619
00:24:38,081 --> 00:24:41,307
that Blair is a gay criminal mastermind.

620
00:24:41,332 --> 00:24:42,992
Yeah, of course Blair's gay.
I thought everyone knew that.

621
00:24:43,016 --> 00:24:44,412
Wait, how the fuck do you know?

622
00:24:44,436 --> 00:24:45,596
How the fuck does he know?

623
00:24:45,621 --> 00:24:46,970
I-I-I don't know. I'm just saying,

624
00:24:46,995 --> 00:24:48,088
maybe, like, Mo and I...

625
00:24:48,113 --> 00:24:50,233
we have just better gay radar than you.

626
00:24:50,258 --> 00:24:52,112
It's... I wish there was
an easier way to say that,

627
00:24:52,136 --> 00:24:53,216
like a sniglet.

628
00:24:53,241 --> 00:24:54,268
What the fuck he just say?

629
00:24:54,292 --> 00:24:56,119
- Yeah, it is a little clunky.
- Oh, got it.

630
00:24:56,143 --> 00:24:57,823
Navi-gay-tion.

631
00:24:57,848 --> 00:24:59,167
Holy shit!

632
00:24:59,192 --> 00:25:01,374
I'm back, baby! I gotta do some coke.

633
00:25:02,631 --> 00:25:04,051
Okay, Dawn?

634
00:25:04,131 --> 00:25:06,341
I'm sorry. I'm not bullshitting you.

635
00:25:06,366 --> 00:25:08,526
You're always bullshitting me.
All right, that's it.

636
00:25:08,551 --> 00:25:09,551
Wait a second.

637
00:25:19,881 --> 00:25:21,511
Recognize this?

638
00:25:22,826 --> 00:25:23,965
Is that...

639
00:25:23,990 --> 00:25:25,221
Yeah.

640
00:25:25,301 --> 00:25:27,631
I told you, when it comes to real shit,

641
00:25:27,656 --> 00:25:29,116
I'm as real as it gets.

642
00:25:30,496 --> 00:25:32,196
Now think about it. Why would he ask

643
00:25:32,221 --> 00:25:34,051
for six percent on the nose?

644
00:25:34,076 --> 00:25:35,356
When five percent gets it done.

645
00:25:35,381 --> 00:25:37,039
It's a done deal. Six percent,

646
00:25:37,064 --> 00:25:39,092
I'd lose control of the Jammer Group.
I can't do that.

647
00:25:39,116 --> 00:25:41,276
He knows that. He's stalling.

648
00:25:41,301 --> 00:25:44,341
'Cause he's trying to run
the Georgina Play for himself.

649
00:25:44,366 --> 00:25:45,536
Exactly.

650
00:25:45,561 --> 00:25:47,141
Fuck!

651
00:25:47,166 --> 00:25:49,433
Oh, God. W-wait.

652
00:25:49,458 --> 00:25:50,791
Why is he dating me?

653
00:25:50,816 --> 00:25:52,923
Maybe he thought
he could get your shares

654
00:25:52,948 --> 00:25:54,478
or just throw us off
the scent, you know,

655
00:25:54,502 --> 00:25:57,323
try to take our eyes off the prize.
I don't know.

656
00:25:57,348 --> 00:25:59,468
Damn, damn, damn!

657
00:25:59,791 --> 00:26:02,581
I swear, I am gonna
kill that motherfucker!

658
00:26:02,606 --> 00:26:03,776
Dawn, Dawn, listen.

659
00:26:04,341 --> 00:26:06,803
Now, I know I've been shitty to you

660
00:26:06,828 --> 00:26:08,239
- in the past...
- Yeah.

661
00:26:08,264 --> 00:26:09,809
- ...And the recent past...
- Yeah.

662
00:26:09,834 --> 00:26:12,492
- ...And this morning.
- Yeah.

663
00:26:12,517 --> 00:26:16,095
But... but it's gotta be you and me now,

664
00:26:16,120 --> 00:26:18,370
okay? Together.

665
00:26:18,395 --> 00:26:20,645
Partners.

666
00:26:25,575 --> 00:26:28,455
Partners.

667
00:26:28,779 --> 00:26:30,909
So what do we do now?

668
00:26:32,249 --> 00:26:34,574
Well...

669
00:26:34,599 --> 00:26:36,939
...now we give him
exactly what he wants.

670
00:26:38,869 --> 00:26:42,978
Well, all things considered,
it was a decent wedding.

671
00:26:43,003 --> 00:26:44,858
It was a great wedding.

672
00:26:44,883 --> 00:26:46,763
Oh, hey.

673
00:26:46,788 --> 00:26:49,051
So in the end, this earring

674
00:26:49,076 --> 00:26:50,835
tie pin thingy...

675
00:26:50,860 --> 00:26:54,030
it actually was kind of lucky, huh?

676
00:26:54,055 --> 00:26:55,555
Hm.

677
00:26:55,580 --> 00:26:58,040
I want you to have the other one

678
00:26:58,065 --> 00:26:59,685
to remember me by.

679
00:26:59,710 --> 00:27:01,870
To remember you by.

680
00:27:02,424 --> 00:27:03,914
How could I forget you?

681
00:27:05,714 --> 00:27:08,094
You're my first,

682
00:27:08,119 --> 00:27:11,249
and my wife.

683
00:27:13,302 --> 00:27:14,922
I-I'm...

684
00:27:17,142 --> 00:27:19,472
I'm really sorry, Tiff.

685
00:27:19,807 --> 00:27:22,887
It's okay.

686
00:27:22,912 --> 00:27:23,912
I'm a lot.

687
00:27:25,302 --> 00:27:27,392
I am, and it's...

688
00:27:27,417 --> 00:27:28,997
Look, it's...

689
00:27:29,022 --> 00:27:31,143
it's okay to be confused.

690
00:27:31,168 --> 00:27:33,523
I mean, not everyone can be
as sure of themselves as I am.

691
00:27:37,653 --> 00:27:41,203
I do love you.

692
00:27:41,228 --> 00:27:43,308
I love you, too.

693
00:27:47,768 --> 00:27:49,058
To the Georgina Play.

694
00:27:50,797 --> 00:27:52,137
To the Georgina Play.

695
00:27:53,317 --> 00:27:54,687
To the Georgina Play.

696
00:27:57,386 --> 00:27:59,190
- Oh, I need to say it, too?
- Well, I mean...

697
00:27:59,215 --> 00:28:00,389
I thought it was implied.

698
00:28:00,414 --> 00:28:02,294
To the Georgina Play.

699
00:28:12,051 --> 00:28:17,051
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