1 00:00:00,804 --> 00:00:03,762 ♪ upbeat music ♪ 2 00:00:05,178 --> 00:00:06,970 ♪ It's Showtime tonight ♪ 3 00:00:07,053 --> 00:00:08,345 This means war. 4 00:00:08,428 --> 00:00:10,470 Previously on Black Monday... 5 00:00:10,553 --> 00:00:13,178 This is for my homies in the mother ghetto. 6 00:00:13,261 --> 00:00:15,720 My dad literally died of a heart attack 7 00:00:15,804 --> 00:00:17,470 while beating me. 8 00:00:17,553 --> 00:00:18,845 - How quickly do you think 9 00:00:18,929 --> 00:00:21,095 you can get behind this bank bailout? 10 00:00:21,178 --> 00:00:22,804 Immediately. After I solidify my standing 11 00:00:22,887 --> 00:00:24,720 and another term seems in the bag, 12 00:00:24,804 --> 00:00:25,970 I will slip it right in. 13 00:00:26,053 --> 00:00:28,178 You're all going down. 14 00:00:28,261 --> 00:00:30,095 The heat is on but not in the cool Glenn Frey way. 15 00:00:30,178 --> 00:00:31,804 I don't need you to save my ass. 16 00:00:31,887 --> 00:00:33,136 I came up with Black Monday. 17 00:00:33,220 --> 00:00:35,470 I want my revenge! 18 00:00:35,553 --> 00:00:37,970 Or you'll go back to jail, Keith. 19 00:00:38,053 --> 00:00:39,553 She's undercover. 20 00:00:39,637 --> 00:00:41,136 She busted him and turned him. 21 00:00:41,220 --> 00:00:42,512 Good luck sleeping, 22 00:00:42,595 --> 00:00:44,303 'cause the next knock you hear could be me. 23 00:00:51,929 --> 00:00:54,220 Uh, how the fuck did he get you here? 24 00:00:54,303 --> 00:00:56,220 He told me you could get me out of this shit. 25 00:00:56,303 --> 00:00:57,970 How the fuck did he get you here? 26 00:00:58,053 --> 00:00:59,553 He told me you could get me out of this shit. 27 00:00:59,637 --> 00:01:02,345 Funny, 'cause he told me he could get me out of this shit. 28 00:01:02,428 --> 00:01:03,804 I feel like we're in the movie Clue. 29 00:01:03,887 --> 00:01:06,637 Oh, yeah, I know, it was Professor Cocksucker 30 00:01:06,720 --> 00:01:08,136 with the rope in the congressman's bedroom. 31 00:01:08,220 --> 00:01:09,553 What the fuck is that supposed to mean? 32 00:01:09,637 --> 00:01:10,845 That you're probably responsible 33 00:01:10,929 --> 00:01:11,762 for your boyfriend's death, 34 00:01:11,845 --> 00:01:13,345 considering that the only people 35 00:01:13,428 --> 00:01:15,387 who could have had access to that sex tape 36 00:01:15,470 --> 00:01:17,428 are me and you, and I'm not a fucking psycho. 37 00:01:17,512 --> 00:01:18,804 Yeah, that's it. 38 00:01:18,887 --> 00:01:19,970 I don't know why you're grinning, Keith. 39 00:01:20,053 --> 00:01:22,095 Last I checked, five people died 40 00:01:22,178 --> 00:01:23,637 during your little Dog Day Afternoon, 41 00:01:23,720 --> 00:01:25,387 so you're not exactly not a murderer yourself. 42 00:01:25,470 --> 00:01:26,845 - Mm-hmm. - Okay, none of those 43 00:01:26,929 --> 00:01:28,637 were my fault, and one of them was from natural causes. 44 00:01:28,720 --> 00:01:30,512 And last time I checked, Dawn, 45 00:01:30,595 --> 00:01:33,178 wasn't Black Monday basically National Kill Yourself Day? 46 00:01:33,261 --> 00:01:34,595 - So I don't know-- - Okay, fine. 47 00:01:34,679 --> 00:01:36,220 So we all got bodies, all right? 48 00:01:36,303 --> 00:01:37,553 - We all got fucking bodies. - What are you guys doing here? 49 00:01:37,637 --> 00:01:38,637 - Oh, God. - Oh, no. 50 00:01:38,720 --> 00:01:40,762 I'm kidding! I'm kidding! Come in, please. 51 00:01:40,845 --> 00:01:44,220 We got soda, orange juice, purple stuff, Sunny D, 52 00:01:44,303 --> 00:01:45,387 and a shit ton of cocaine. 53 00:01:45,470 --> 00:01:47,637 ♪ dramatic percussive music ♪ 54 00:01:47,720 --> 00:01:51,053 So, what, we're supposed to just trust each other, 55 00:01:51,136 --> 00:01:53,595 not to mention you, after everything? 56 00:01:53,679 --> 00:01:55,929 We have fucked each other more than the Mamas and the Papas. 57 00:01:56,011 --> 00:01:58,387 They're a famously incestuous band. 58 00:01:58,470 --> 00:02:00,220 - Never heard of 'em. - I'm more of a Wham! guy. 59 00:02:00,303 --> 00:02:03,095 I'm more of a black guy. Look, we're even, okay? 60 00:02:03,178 --> 00:02:05,553 We all need this, and there's really no other fucking choice. 61 00:02:05,637 --> 00:02:06,637 Unless you guys wanna spend 62 00:02:06,720 --> 00:02:08,428 the rest of your lives in prison. 63 00:02:08,512 --> 00:02:10,011 That's what I thought. 64 00:02:10,095 --> 00:02:11,929 So last night, after Keith crashed our date 65 00:02:12,011 --> 00:02:13,011 and ruined our lives-- 66 00:02:13,095 --> 00:02:14,845 Technically, you ruined our lives. 67 00:02:14,929 --> 00:02:16,679 I just put it all out in the open. 68 00:02:16,762 --> 00:02:18,261 Yeah, I did the Amerisavings thing 69 00:02:18,345 --> 00:02:19,887 to fuck you guys over, because each of you guys 70 00:02:19,970 --> 00:02:21,470 fucked me over, and you deserved that shit. 71 00:02:21,553 --> 00:02:23,762 Now, I was gonna leave it at that and disappear forever 72 00:02:23,845 --> 00:02:25,637 until my past caught up to me, literally, 73 00:02:25,720 --> 00:02:27,762 but from that first moment that Connie took me down-- 74 00:02:27,845 --> 00:02:29,053 Wait, wait, who's Connie? 75 00:02:29,136 --> 00:02:30,929 Connie, Aisha, Dee-Dee, the same chick, 76 00:02:31,011 --> 00:02:32,345 - the FBI bitch. - That bitch. 77 00:02:32,428 --> 00:02:33,303 When she took me down, 78 00:02:33,387 --> 00:02:34,470 I started putting pieces together 79 00:02:34,553 --> 00:02:36,261 to figure out a way to take her down with me. 80 00:02:36,345 --> 00:02:37,428 And then I took down some coke, 81 00:02:37,512 --> 00:02:38,720 which I haven't done in a long time. 82 00:02:38,804 --> 00:02:40,387 That shit hit my brain like Popeye's spinach. 83 00:02:40,470 --> 00:02:42,178 But I figured out that I could put those same pieces together 84 00:02:42,261 --> 00:02:44,762 to save all of us but only if you guys 85 00:02:44,845 --> 00:02:46,929 are willing to complete the puzzle. 86 00:02:48,595 --> 00:02:50,762 What the fuck? 87 00:02:50,845 --> 00:02:52,178 How much coke did you do? 88 00:02:52,261 --> 00:02:53,762 This looks likes Drew Barrymore's diary. 89 00:02:53,845 --> 00:02:55,261 I used it purely as a study aid, Dawn. 90 00:02:55,345 --> 00:02:57,095 Okay, I knocked this shit out in 13 hours. 91 00:02:57,178 --> 00:02:59,553 Then I color-coded my record collection by rhythm section, 92 00:02:59,637 --> 00:03:01,303 and by color, I'm talking about race. 93 00:03:01,387 --> 00:03:02,970 And by rhythm, I'm also talking about race. 94 00:03:03,053 --> 00:03:04,136 Jesus, what's the fucking plan? 95 00:03:04,220 --> 00:03:05,303 No, you're right, you're right. 96 00:03:05,387 --> 00:03:06,929 Stay on point, stay on point. 97 00:03:07,011 --> 00:03:08,595 So here you can see, it's simple. 98 00:03:08,679 --> 00:03:10,011 Actually, it's... 99 00:03:10,095 --> 00:03:11,303 It's very fucking complicated, 100 00:03:11,387 --> 00:03:13,428 as evidenced by the fact that I needed several 101 00:03:13,512 --> 00:03:15,679 floor-to-ceiling windows to write all the shit down, 102 00:03:15,762 --> 00:03:17,303 but like I said, when Connie busted me, 103 00:03:17,387 --> 00:03:18,970 I started trying to figure out a way to save my ass. 104 00:03:19,053 --> 00:03:21,303 It turns out, it could save all our asses. 105 00:03:21,387 --> 00:03:23,136 ♪ Midnight Star's "Operator" playing ♪ 106 00:03:23,220 --> 00:03:24,762 ♪ The operator... ♪ 107 00:03:24,845 --> 00:03:26,887 Hey, wake up, brother, it is payback time. 108 00:03:26,970 --> 00:03:29,553 Roland Madison, from back in our Black Panther days. 109 00:03:29,637 --> 00:03:31,095 No, no, not the comic book. 110 00:03:31,178 --> 00:03:33,512 The movement started by Huey Newton. 111 00:03:33,595 --> 00:03:35,929 No, that would be Huey Lewis. That's The News. 112 00:03:36,011 --> 00:03:37,470 Yeah, they are very similar-sounding. 113 00:03:37,553 --> 00:03:38,929 Wait, is this Sam Poole? 114 00:03:39,011 --> 00:03:41,136 Shit, that's a six. It's a six. 115 00:03:41,220 --> 00:03:43,261 Hey, wake up, brother, it is payback time. 116 00:03:43,345 --> 00:03:44,470 Roland? 117 00:03:44,553 --> 00:03:45,845 ♪ Operator... ♪ 118 00:03:45,929 --> 00:03:49,261 May I just say, damn. 119 00:03:49,345 --> 00:03:51,178 Mm-mm, get outta here with that weak shit. 120 00:03:52,261 --> 00:03:54,595 ♪ Operate on me ♪ 121 00:03:54,679 --> 00:03:56,261 ♪ Take control of that body ♪ 122 00:03:56,345 --> 00:03:58,637 ♪ Take control of me ♪ 123 00:03:58,720 --> 00:04:02,220 ♪ I called my baby up on the telephone ♪ 124 00:04:02,303 --> 00:04:05,178 ♪ I got connected to a freaky zone ♪ 125 00:04:05,261 --> 00:04:06,637 Oh. 126 00:04:06,720 --> 00:04:08,178 ♪ The conversation... ♪ 127 00:04:08,261 --> 00:04:11,178 On behalf of all men, I am so sorry. 128 00:04:11,261 --> 00:04:13,887 - Can I refill you? - Yes, please. 129 00:04:18,512 --> 00:04:22,261 - Dude, you love a honeypot. - What's a honeypot? 130 00:04:22,345 --> 00:04:23,178 You haven't seen Hogan's Heroes? 131 00:04:23,261 --> 00:04:24,387 Hogan's Heroes. 132 00:04:24,470 --> 00:04:25,470 Oh, I was more of an F Troop guy. 133 00:04:25,553 --> 00:04:27,387 Yeah, that tracks, but my guy on the inside 134 00:04:27,470 --> 00:04:30,553 can't do shit unless Dawn gets $3 million 135 00:04:30,637 --> 00:04:33,637 transferred to an account in the Caymans in Connie's name. 136 00:04:33,720 --> 00:04:35,011 Transferred from where? 137 00:04:35,095 --> 00:04:36,387 The AASF. 138 00:04:36,470 --> 00:04:37,887 Why the fuck would Marcus do that? 139 00:04:37,970 --> 00:04:39,178 So he can hit that shit. 140 00:04:39,261 --> 00:04:41,095 - Again? - Ohh. 141 00:04:41,178 --> 00:04:44,220 Who cares? 142 00:04:44,303 --> 00:04:46,053 I don't--it doesn't-- Wait, again? 143 00:04:46,136 --> 00:04:47,637 Fuck, it's fine. I don't care. 144 00:04:47,720 --> 00:04:48,887 That doesn't--it-- 145 00:04:48,970 --> 00:04:50,512 Well, I'll tell you why he should do it, okay? 146 00:04:50,595 --> 00:04:53,428 Because Connie's been fucking our people over for years, 147 00:04:53,512 --> 00:04:55,387 and this is gonna save the AASF. 148 00:04:55,470 --> 00:04:57,136 Trust me, all of our problems with Connie 149 00:04:57,220 --> 00:04:59,220 will be taken care of if Dawn can take care of Marcus. 150 00:04:59,303 --> 00:05:02,220 Okay, if...if you and Dawn can get rid of Connie, 151 00:05:02,303 --> 00:05:04,095 that doesn't mean that Reagan and the FBI 152 00:05:04,178 --> 00:05:05,679 are just gonna forget about Black Monday. 153 00:05:05,762 --> 00:05:06,887 Eh, I don't know. 154 00:05:06,970 --> 00:05:08,428 Reagan's kinda known for forgetting shit, 155 00:05:08,512 --> 00:05:10,261 and not just whose side he's on. 156 00:05:10,345 --> 00:05:11,762 - Or the middle class. - Or the mentally ill. 157 00:05:11,845 --> 00:05:13,303 Or the fact that he used to be pro-choice, 158 00:05:13,387 --> 00:05:14,553 but you're right, Blair. 159 00:05:14,637 --> 00:05:16,303 They're not just gonna stop coming for us. 160 00:05:16,387 --> 00:05:19,011 Especially if Larry Leighman goes down for the yen trade, 161 00:05:19,095 --> 00:05:20,178 he's gonna try to take us down too. 162 00:05:20,261 --> 00:05:23,303 Which is why you have to convince him 163 00:05:23,387 --> 00:05:25,512 to find a patsy to pin the yen thing on. 164 00:05:25,595 --> 00:05:26,720 That way, they stay clean, 165 00:05:26,804 --> 00:05:28,470 and it'll keep us from getting revenge fucked. 166 00:05:28,553 --> 00:05:30,303 Okay, if Keith can pull this off, 167 00:05:30,387 --> 00:05:31,720 who goes down for Black Monday? 168 00:05:31,804 --> 00:05:33,095 Well, no one, 169 00:05:33,178 --> 00:05:35,136 until you leverage Pastor Newell 170 00:05:35,220 --> 00:05:36,720 to do us a huge favor. 171 00:05:36,804 --> 00:05:38,845 - What's that? - An act of kindness. 172 00:05:38,929 --> 00:05:40,345 But that's not important right now. 173 00:05:40,428 --> 00:05:42,428 I'm just kidding. 174 00:05:42,512 --> 00:05:45,136 I watched Airplane three times when I was on my coke-a-thon. 175 00:05:45,220 --> 00:05:46,553 They really love that joke structure. 176 00:05:46,637 --> 00:05:48,804 - What the fuck is the favor? - What is happening? 177 00:05:48,887 --> 00:05:51,595 Okay, okay, okay, right. 178 00:05:51,679 --> 00:05:54,345 You have to get Pastor Newell to get his puppet, 179 00:05:54,428 --> 00:05:57,345 the governor, to pardon me 180 00:05:57,428 --> 00:06:00,553 after I confess to masterminding Black Monday. 181 00:06:00,637 --> 00:06:02,679 - Oh, shit. 182 00:06:02,762 --> 00:06:05,303 Come on, you guys know this is fucking brilliant. 183 00:06:05,387 --> 00:06:07,303 - Look at this shit. - I don't know, Mo. 184 00:06:07,387 --> 00:06:09,095 It's a-it's a lot of moving parts. 185 00:06:09,178 --> 00:06:10,804 Yeah, it ain't a slam dunk. 186 00:06:10,887 --> 00:06:13,637 But, you know, getting four people cleared of FBI charges 187 00:06:13,720 --> 00:06:17,261 for which they are legitimately guilty never is. 188 00:06:17,345 --> 00:06:20,387 But we all gotta be in. All in. 189 00:06:24,887 --> 00:06:27,428 Fuck it, I'm in. 190 00:06:27,512 --> 00:06:29,053 I'm in. 191 00:06:29,136 --> 00:06:31,178 Eh, no. I'm not doing that shit. 192 00:06:31,261 --> 00:06:33,345 Dawn, this shit only works if we're all in. 193 00:06:33,428 --> 00:06:34,595 No, I'm in. I'm just-- 194 00:06:34,679 --> 00:06:37,387 I'm not doing that dumbass sports hand thing. 195 00:06:37,470 --> 00:06:40,345 ♪ Glenn Frey's "The Heat Is On" playing ♪ 196 00:06:44,261 --> 00:06:46,178 Marcus, I can fix this. 197 00:06:46,261 --> 00:06:48,553 - Trust me. - How? 198 00:06:48,637 --> 00:06:51,136 If you transfer $3 million 199 00:06:51,220 --> 00:06:52,679 into an account in the Cayman Islands, 200 00:06:52,762 --> 00:06:56,136 we can sink that FBI bitch for good. 201 00:06:56,220 --> 00:06:58,512 ♪ Inside your head... ♪ 202 00:06:58,595 --> 00:06:59,887 Hey, why don't you call in sick? 203 00:06:59,970 --> 00:07:01,345 You know I would, 204 00:07:01,428 --> 00:07:03,428 but today is the biggest day of my career. 205 00:07:03,512 --> 00:07:06,011 ♪ ...and the beat's so loud ♪ 206 00:07:06,095 --> 00:07:07,637 ♪ Deep inside... ♪ 207 00:07:09,470 --> 00:07:10,595 That's why I rushed over here 208 00:07:10,679 --> 00:07:12,053 the second I got your note. 209 00:07:12,136 --> 00:07:13,387 I genuinely like you. 210 00:07:13,470 --> 00:07:15,011 The FBI are after us. 211 00:07:15,095 --> 00:07:16,345 What the fuck? 212 00:07:16,428 --> 00:07:18,428 All we need to do is pin it on a patsy. 213 00:07:18,512 --> 00:07:19,762 ♪ Whoo ♪ 214 00:07:23,136 --> 00:07:25,512 ♪ Oh-ooh-oh-oh, oh-ooh-oh-oh... ♪ 215 00:07:25,595 --> 00:07:27,887 I can fix this for both of us, 216 00:07:27,970 --> 00:07:29,720 but you have to put me on the air. 217 00:07:29,804 --> 00:07:31,178 Congressman Harris' suicide note. 218 00:07:31,261 --> 00:07:33,220 Take her down, Lynette! 219 00:07:33,303 --> 00:07:34,929 Oh, look at the numbers climb! 220 00:07:35,011 --> 00:07:36,178 I know how close you are with the governor. 221 00:07:36,261 --> 00:07:38,387 You're gonna ask him to do me a favor. 222 00:07:38,470 --> 00:07:41,220 ♪ The heat is on ♪ 223 00:07:41,303 --> 00:07:44,762 ♪ The heat is on ♪ 224 00:07:44,845 --> 00:07:47,387 ♪ The heat is on ♪ 225 00:07:47,470 --> 00:07:51,053 ♪ Oh, it's on the street ♪ 226 00:07:51,136 --> 00:07:52,470 - ♪ The heat is ♪ 227 00:07:55,887 --> 00:07:57,011 - ♪ On ♪ - Freeze! Freeze! 228 00:07:57,095 --> 00:07:59,136 Whoa, whoa. Whoa, whoa. 229 00:07:59,220 --> 00:08:00,887 Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. 230 00:08:00,970 --> 00:08:02,929 ♪ Daisy, daisy ♪ 231 00:08:03,011 --> 00:08:04,762 ♪ Give me your answer, do ♪ 232 00:08:04,845 --> 00:08:08,220 ♪ I'm so crazy all for the love of you ♪ 233 00:08:08,303 --> 00:08:10,303 ♪ It won't be a stylish marriage ♪ 234 00:08:10,387 --> 00:08:12,261 ♪ I can't afford a carriage ♪ 235 00:08:12,345 --> 00:08:14,053 - ♪ But you'll look sweet ♪ - ♪ Upon the seat ♪ 236 00:08:14,136 --> 00:08:16,595 ♪ Of a bicycle built for two ♪ 237 00:08:16,679 --> 00:08:19,261 - ♪ Or three ♪ - Shut the fuck up, Keith! 238 00:08:19,345 --> 00:08:21,261 You're not part of this! 239 00:08:21,345 --> 00:08:23,553 I'm going to stick my foot up your ass! 240 00:08:26,387 --> 00:08:28,261 Lenny, Lenny... 241 00:08:28,345 --> 00:08:29,261 - No! - Okay. 242 00:08:29,345 --> 00:08:30,095 - I can do it. - Okay. 243 00:08:30,178 --> 00:08:32,095 I can do anything. 244 00:08:32,178 --> 00:08:33,929 Oh, hardy-har-har. 245 00:08:34,011 --> 00:08:35,595 Let's all laugh at the man 246 00:08:35,679 --> 00:08:37,720 who was panini'd by a supercar. 247 00:08:37,804 --> 00:08:39,720 So funny, I forgot to die. 248 00:08:39,804 --> 00:08:41,804 - We were just having fun. - Nobody's laughing at you! 249 00:08:41,887 --> 00:08:43,470 Oh, really? 250 00:08:43,553 --> 00:08:44,887 Lenny, look, the only reason I'm here 251 00:08:44,970 --> 00:08:47,011 is to help you, help us. 252 00:08:47,095 --> 00:08:48,178 Shut up, Keith! 253 00:08:48,261 --> 00:08:50,637 There is no us! 254 00:08:50,720 --> 00:08:53,762 Lawrence, your infatuation with this baby carrot of a man 255 00:08:53,845 --> 00:08:55,845 continues to befuddle me. 256 00:08:55,929 --> 00:08:57,887 Well, this baby carrot of a man 257 00:08:57,970 --> 00:09:01,136 is the only thing standing between you and the FB-- 258 00:09:01,220 --> 00:09:03,387 I think we need more firewood. 259 00:09:03,470 --> 00:09:04,845 Go get firewood. 260 00:09:04,929 --> 00:09:07,762 What do you say, Keithy? Go on a kindling run? 261 00:09:07,845 --> 00:09:10,136 Sure. 262 00:09:10,220 --> 00:09:11,637 Oh, baby brother. 263 00:09:11,720 --> 00:09:15,387 What was it our grand-père used to say here at Wolf Lake? 264 00:09:15,470 --> 00:09:20,011 You can't say "family man" without "Leighman." 265 00:09:20,095 --> 00:09:22,261 Yeah, he did, Len. 266 00:09:22,345 --> 00:09:25,178 ♪ soft dramatic music ♪ 267 00:09:25,261 --> 00:09:27,011 Hurry back. 268 00:09:31,970 --> 00:09:33,553 How far away is this firewood? 269 00:09:33,637 --> 00:09:34,929 What firewood? 270 00:09:35,011 --> 00:09:38,053 The firewood that we told your brother we're getting. 271 00:09:38,136 --> 00:09:39,387 What brother? 272 00:09:39,470 --> 00:09:43,178 My brother Lenny survived Black Monday 273 00:09:43,261 --> 00:09:46,261 only to tragically succumb to injuries 274 00:09:46,345 --> 00:09:48,178 right after the devastating 275 00:09:48,261 --> 00:09:51,929 and highly illegal yen trade 276 00:09:52,011 --> 00:09:53,220 he made. 277 00:09:53,303 --> 00:09:54,261 Uh, no. 278 00:09:54,345 --> 00:09:56,887 You said it. A patsy. 279 00:09:56,970 --> 00:09:58,970 No, no, I never suggested 280 00:09:59,053 --> 00:10:00,553 that we leave him in the woods to die. 281 00:10:00,637 --> 00:10:02,303 We're in this together now. 282 00:10:03,679 --> 00:10:05,470 All the way... 283 00:10:05,553 --> 00:10:06,637 brother. 284 00:10:07,470 --> 00:10:09,428 ♪ Upon the seat ♪ 285 00:10:09,512 --> 00:10:12,720 ♪ Of a bicycle built ♪ 286 00:10:15,053 --> 00:10:17,470 ♪ For two ♪ 287 00:10:17,553 --> 00:10:19,178 Thanks again for lunch. 288 00:10:19,261 --> 00:10:20,178 Oh, of course. 289 00:10:20,261 --> 00:10:21,553 You did take advantage of me a little bit 290 00:10:21,637 --> 00:10:23,512 by ordering that seafood tower to go. 291 00:10:23,595 --> 00:10:25,762 But no, it's fine. 292 00:10:25,845 --> 00:10:27,345 I-I just wanted to thank you 293 00:10:27,428 --> 00:10:29,553 for being my eyes and ears at TBD. 294 00:10:29,637 --> 00:10:30,887 I mean, without you, I never would have known 295 00:10:30,970 --> 00:10:31,762 about Amerisavings. 296 00:10:31,845 --> 00:10:33,387 - We go back. - Yeah. 297 00:10:33,470 --> 00:10:35,762 I was a security guard before you found me. 298 00:10:35,845 --> 00:10:38,762 I think you mean before you blackmailed me 299 00:10:38,845 --> 00:10:40,970 into giving you a job with the security footage 300 00:10:41,053 --> 00:10:43,595 of me and Dawn destroying the Leighman Brothers' office. 301 00:10:43,679 --> 00:10:45,220 Yeah, there's-there's your version. 302 00:10:45,303 --> 00:10:46,595 - And then there's my version. 303 00:10:46,679 --> 00:10:48,512 Yeah, "po-tay-to," "po-tah-to," yeah, yeah. 304 00:10:48,595 --> 00:10:49,637 - Yeah. - Which is why 305 00:10:49,720 --> 00:10:51,887 this next part's gonna be a little difficult. 306 00:10:51,970 --> 00:10:54,136 Why are you talking to me like you're divorcing my mom? 307 00:10:54,220 --> 00:10:55,595 - Just wait a second. - No, no, no, no, no, no, no. 308 00:10:55,679 --> 00:10:57,637 You sound just like my stepdad Sam 309 00:10:57,720 --> 00:11:00,095 and my stepdad Todd 310 00:11:00,178 --> 00:11:01,428 and my stepdad Jean-Pierre 311 00:11:01,512 --> 00:11:03,136 but without the Haitian patois. 312 00:11:03,220 --> 00:11:04,136 I'm sorry, buddy, 313 00:11:04,220 --> 00:11:06,136 but I gotta go away for a little while. 314 00:11:06,220 --> 00:11:08,220 So that's it? 315 00:11:08,303 --> 00:11:09,762 Dad's leaving! 316 00:11:09,845 --> 00:11:11,261 Jesus. 317 00:11:11,345 --> 00:11:12,428 I should've known. 318 00:11:12,512 --> 00:11:14,053 That's why you've been spoiling me all day. 319 00:11:14,136 --> 00:11:17,053 I'm gonna miss you too, which is why I want to give you 320 00:11:17,136 --> 00:11:19,095 a little something to remember me by. 321 00:11:19,178 --> 00:11:21,428 ♪ smooth music ♪ 322 00:11:21,512 --> 00:11:23,512 $30 in quarters? 323 00:11:23,595 --> 00:11:27,220 Trust me, you're gonna need every goddamn one of them. 324 00:12:01,595 --> 00:12:03,762 - Come in. 325 00:12:07,261 --> 00:12:08,762 Hey, Yassir, what's up? 326 00:12:10,303 --> 00:12:12,387 Uh, what the fuck am I looking at? 327 00:12:12,470 --> 00:12:13,512 Justice. 328 00:12:13,595 --> 00:12:15,970 I came up with Just For Men first. 329 00:12:16,053 --> 00:12:17,720 And now they're gonna sue me? 330 00:12:17,804 --> 00:12:20,178 I'm a tiny nonprofit men's rights group. 331 00:12:20,261 --> 00:12:22,011 They're a soulless corporation, 332 00:12:22,095 --> 00:12:24,428 profiting off the anti-gray female gaze. 333 00:12:24,512 --> 00:12:26,011 Well, I'm gonna teach 'em a lesson 334 00:12:26,095 --> 00:12:28,011 by syringing bleach into these Just For Men bottles 335 00:12:28,095 --> 00:12:29,804 and then sneaking them back on the shelves just like... 336 00:12:29,887 --> 00:12:32,553 The Chicago Tylenol tampering murders of 1982. 337 00:12:32,637 --> 00:12:33,887 Yeah, I got it, man. 338 00:12:33,970 --> 00:12:35,845 Except no one's gonna die. 339 00:12:35,929 --> 00:12:38,845 I mean, they're just gonna... not dye. 340 00:12:38,929 --> 00:12:40,470 D-Y-E, get it? 341 00:12:40,553 --> 00:12:42,387 Bet they go bankrupt once all their customers 342 00:12:42,470 --> 00:12:43,720 start looking like this. 343 00:12:43,804 --> 00:12:45,637 You're-you're fucking with people's look, man. 344 00:12:45,720 --> 00:12:47,011 It's just not cool. 345 00:12:47,095 --> 00:12:48,303 Listen, I don't need your approval, 346 00:12:48,387 --> 00:12:50,261 but I could use a ride to 15 Duane Reades 347 00:12:50,345 --> 00:12:52,553 in the tri-state area so I can restock these. 348 00:12:52,637 --> 00:12:55,011 Yeah, not gonna do that. 349 00:12:55,095 --> 00:12:57,845 So you wanna tell me what the hell this is all about? 350 00:12:57,929 --> 00:13:00,095 $3 million transferred 351 00:13:00,178 --> 00:13:02,804 into an offshore bank account in your name. 352 00:13:02,887 --> 00:13:03,929 What? 353 00:13:04,011 --> 00:13:05,387 Transferred from where? 354 00:13:05,470 --> 00:13:07,470 The AASF. 355 00:13:07,553 --> 00:13:08,887 This is bullshit. 356 00:13:08,970 --> 00:13:11,178 Somebody must've just opened an account in my name. 357 00:13:11,261 --> 00:13:14,387 In your real name, Aisha? Your identity is classified. 358 00:13:14,470 --> 00:13:17,512 Not to mention all the security questions on the account. 359 00:13:17,595 --> 00:13:19,220 A ton of personal information we didn't even know 360 00:13:19,303 --> 00:13:20,470 but have since verified. 361 00:13:20,553 --> 00:13:22,929 So somebody went through my trash. 362 00:13:23,011 --> 00:13:24,178 Or maybe tapped my phones. 363 00:13:24,261 --> 00:13:26,679 And then they hired someone who looks exactly like you 364 00:13:26,762 --> 00:13:29,595 to walk in and out of that bank in the Caymans. 365 00:13:29,679 --> 00:13:32,011 The evidence is overwhelming. 366 00:13:32,095 --> 00:13:35,095 ♪ mellow rock music ♪ 367 00:13:37,637 --> 00:13:39,887 And I want you to go fuck yourself. 368 00:13:39,970 --> 00:13:43,220 Let me guess, Aisha, you're not coming to dinner with my folks. 369 00:13:43,303 --> 00:13:45,261 I can finish this case tonight. 370 00:13:45,345 --> 00:13:46,929 Let's fucking party! 371 00:13:47,011 --> 00:13:49,095 Come on, how can I make it up to you? 372 00:13:49,178 --> 00:13:50,470 Name it. 373 00:13:50,553 --> 00:13:52,428 Let's go away next weekend. 374 00:13:52,512 --> 00:13:54,428 Someplace romantic. No work. 375 00:13:54,512 --> 00:13:56,595 No work, done. 376 00:13:56,679 --> 00:13:58,762 Waylon Washington. 377 00:13:58,845 --> 00:14:00,887 Oh, that motherfucker. 378 00:14:00,970 --> 00:14:03,470 He's the one that suggested we go to the Caymans, 379 00:14:03,553 --> 00:14:06,637 and he made me run to this bank to get cashier's checks 380 00:14:06,720 --> 00:14:09,136 so that I could be caught on the security camera. 381 00:14:09,220 --> 00:14:10,845 What--it's my boyfriend. 382 00:14:10,929 --> 00:14:12,387 Unfortunately, as far as we can tell, 383 00:14:12,470 --> 00:14:16,387 this Waylon Washington doesn't exist. 384 00:14:18,387 --> 00:14:19,720 Of course he doesn't. 385 00:14:20,845 --> 00:14:22,887 Just like the man who created him. 386 00:14:23,887 --> 00:14:25,220 You did it. 387 00:14:25,303 --> 00:14:26,387 You knew I would. 388 00:14:26,470 --> 00:14:28,303 Yes, I did! Get in here! 389 00:14:28,387 --> 00:14:29,887 Oh, boy. 390 00:14:30,637 --> 00:14:33,053 So how'd you convince him? 391 00:14:33,136 --> 00:14:34,929 Did you make him think you were into him or something? 392 00:14:35,011 --> 00:14:37,053 Yeah, or something. 393 00:14:38,011 --> 00:14:39,679 Okay, well, anyway, 394 00:14:39,762 --> 00:14:41,303 I'm just glad that the plan might actually work. 395 00:14:41,387 --> 00:14:42,637 Mm-hmm. 396 00:14:42,720 --> 00:14:44,303 And I owe it all to my first love. 397 00:14:44,387 --> 00:14:45,970 - Mm. - Cocaine. 398 00:14:46,053 --> 00:14:47,512 You want some? 399 00:14:48,595 --> 00:14:49,762 Sure. 400 00:14:49,845 --> 00:14:51,011 I mean, you forget how good it is. 401 00:14:51,095 --> 00:14:52,470 - And then you remember. - Mm. 402 00:14:52,553 --> 00:14:54,345 Okay, sure, why not? 403 00:14:55,220 --> 00:14:57,053 Yeah. 404 00:14:57,136 --> 00:14:58,637 - Oh, Dawnie. - Mm. 405 00:14:58,720 --> 00:15:00,053 You know, I really took to heart 406 00:15:00,136 --> 00:15:01,136 what you said the other night. 407 00:15:01,220 --> 00:15:02,178 Uh-huh. 408 00:15:02,261 --> 00:15:03,178 About me always making it about me. 409 00:15:03,261 --> 00:15:04,887 - Yeah. - You weren't wrong. 410 00:15:04,970 --> 00:15:06,637 Which is why I thought you would dig this plan. 411 00:15:06,720 --> 00:15:08,553 Because at its core, it is about me 412 00:15:08,637 --> 00:15:10,470 heroically sacrificing myself. 413 00:15:10,553 --> 00:15:12,303 Mm, come on, let's be real. 414 00:15:12,387 --> 00:15:14,720 Same Mo-Mo, just scamming everyone 415 00:15:14,804 --> 00:15:16,345 into helping you get what you want, 416 00:15:16,428 --> 00:15:17,679 and you get to be the hero. 417 00:15:17,762 --> 00:15:18,929 Whoa, whoa, whoa, this plan, 418 00:15:19,011 --> 00:15:21,220 like all my plans, is pretty fucking fragile. 419 00:15:21,303 --> 00:15:23,303 I mean, look, Blair or Keith could fail. 420 00:15:23,387 --> 00:15:24,762 - Or betray me. - Yeah. 421 00:15:24,845 --> 00:15:26,428 And I'm really rolling the dice with this legal system 422 00:15:26,512 --> 00:15:27,428 while I'm waiting for my pardon. 423 00:15:27,512 --> 00:15:28,804 No, no, no, any number of things 424 00:15:28,887 --> 00:15:30,804 could still go very, very bad for old Mo-Mo. 425 00:15:30,887 --> 00:15:33,011 Yeah, but they won't, 'cause they never do. 426 00:15:33,095 --> 00:15:35,053 You know, you always seem to just keep running 427 00:15:35,136 --> 00:15:36,637 in between the raindrops, and the worst part is, 428 00:15:36,720 --> 00:15:38,053 is when you take the fall, 429 00:15:38,136 --> 00:15:40,387 you'll be known as the genius behind Black Monday. 430 00:15:40,470 --> 00:15:42,720 My idea. You! 431 00:15:42,804 --> 00:15:44,220 The motherfucker who got took! 432 00:15:44,303 --> 00:15:45,387 Yeah, don't think I forgot. 433 00:15:45,470 --> 00:15:46,470 How could you, huh? 434 00:15:46,553 --> 00:15:47,470 I ate your fucking lunch! 435 00:15:47,553 --> 00:15:49,553 Oh, well, I hope it tasted like shit. 436 00:15:49,637 --> 00:15:51,679 You hope that your lunch tasted like shit? 437 00:15:51,762 --> 00:15:52,929 - Did ya eat it? - Fuck you! 438 00:15:53,011 --> 00:15:54,553 - Oh, really? - Fuck you. Yeah, yeah. 439 00:15:54,637 --> 00:15:56,512 Oh, okay, oh, we doing side-head now? 440 00:15:58,679 --> 00:16:00,887 This is it, this is the passionate discourse, right? 441 00:16:00,970 --> 00:16:02,762 Oh, God, it's kind of our sweet spot. 442 00:16:02,845 --> 00:16:04,095 Yeah. Will they or won't they? 443 00:16:04,178 --> 00:16:05,303 Why don't they already? 444 00:16:05,387 --> 00:16:07,512 - Why don't they? - What the fuck? 445 00:16:07,595 --> 00:16:09,053 What the fuck? What was that? 446 00:16:09,136 --> 00:16:11,136 What did--did you just say, "Why don't they already?" 447 00:16:11,220 --> 00:16:13,136 - Hey, uh, sorry I'm late. - I didn't say do it! 448 00:16:13,220 --> 00:16:14,595 K-Man, tell me you got it done. 449 00:16:14,679 --> 00:16:16,595 Yes, long story. Actually, short story. 450 00:16:16,679 --> 00:16:17,887 Lenny's still alive. 451 00:16:17,970 --> 00:16:19,887 He took the fall, and now he's dead. 452 00:16:19,970 --> 00:16:21,387 - Wait-- - No further questions. 453 00:16:21,470 --> 00:16:22,512 - Piece of cake. 454 00:16:22,595 --> 00:16:23,387 You know, good old Keith, right? 455 00:16:23,470 --> 00:16:24,178 Shut the fuck up real quick. 456 00:16:26,970 --> 00:16:28,011 What? 457 00:16:28,095 --> 00:16:29,804 It's from Blair. 458 00:16:29,887 --> 00:16:31,387 Let there be a God. 459 00:16:31,470 --> 00:16:33,220 Come on. 460 00:16:34,470 --> 00:16:35,804 Blair did it. He got the pardon. 461 00:16:35,887 --> 00:16:37,428 - Yes! 462 00:16:37,512 --> 00:16:39,512 Of course it worked. Your shit always works. 463 00:16:39,595 --> 00:16:41,387 Hey, don't be mad at me 'cause I'm a genius. 464 00:16:41,470 --> 00:16:43,178 - He's a genius. 465 00:16:43,261 --> 00:16:44,970 Ah. 466 00:16:45,053 --> 00:16:48,804 Well, now all that's left is for me to sacrifice myself, 467 00:16:48,887 --> 00:16:50,929 like the tragic hero that I am. 468 00:16:51,011 --> 00:16:52,845 - Just go. - Seriously? 469 00:16:58,053 --> 00:17:00,178 Hey, genius, not so super genius 470 00:17:00,261 --> 00:17:02,470 to leave your genius plan in permanent marker 471 00:17:02,553 --> 00:17:03,720 on your own window. 472 00:17:05,095 --> 00:17:06,261 - Whoa! 473 00:17:06,345 --> 00:17:07,637 This is for my homies in the ghetto. 474 00:17:10,595 --> 00:17:12,011 What the fuck? 475 00:17:12,095 --> 00:17:14,053 You seriously need to stop doing coke, man! 476 00:17:14,136 --> 00:17:15,970 I just started. 477 00:17:16,053 --> 00:17:18,595 - Oh, thank you. 478 00:17:18,679 --> 00:17:20,470 Parishioners, during that interval 479 00:17:20,553 --> 00:17:22,470 from our holy sponsors, 480 00:17:22,553 --> 00:17:26,970 I had a revelation direct from the Lord himself. 481 00:17:27,053 --> 00:17:29,970 God was so taken by this young man's bravery 482 00:17:30,053 --> 00:17:32,637 in the face of his flaming demons 483 00:17:32,720 --> 00:17:36,095 that he whispered in my ear to lift him up, 484 00:17:36,178 --> 00:17:39,929 which is why I just urge my dear friend 485 00:17:40,011 --> 00:17:43,387 Governor Putnam to complete this redemption story 486 00:17:43,470 --> 00:17:47,095 and fill the vacant seat by appointing Blair Pfaff 487 00:17:47,178 --> 00:17:51,053 as the next congressman of the great state of New York. 488 00:17:51,136 --> 00:17:52,345 - Wait, what? - That slippery fuck. 489 00:17:52,428 --> 00:17:53,595 Oh, and the governor said yes, praise God. 490 00:17:53,679 --> 00:17:56,345 - He said yes! 491 00:17:56,428 --> 00:17:58,011 Praise him. 492 00:18:00,136 --> 00:18:04,220 Nice doing business with you, Congressman. 493 00:18:04,303 --> 00:18:05,929 You're still a monster. 494 00:18:06,637 --> 00:18:08,178 Leviticus 3:21. 495 00:18:08,261 --> 00:18:10,136 It takes one to know one, you piece of shit. 496 00:18:10,220 --> 00:18:12,053 - Oh, hello, darling. - Can I get a picture? 497 00:18:12,136 --> 00:18:13,345 - Hi, hi. 498 00:18:13,428 --> 00:18:15,303 - Congratulations, Congressman. - Thank you. 499 00:18:15,387 --> 00:18:16,679 Oh, and one more thing. 500 00:18:16,762 --> 00:18:18,887 As the new poster boy for conversion therapy, 501 00:18:18,970 --> 00:18:21,095 you best not miss a single session, 502 00:18:21,178 --> 00:18:24,261 or I will hang you out to dry faster 503 00:18:24,345 --> 00:18:26,845 than I did my own son-in-law. 504 00:18:26,929 --> 00:18:29,595 Have a good day. 505 00:18:32,887 --> 00:18:35,011 So nice to meet you. I'm such a huge fan. 506 00:18:35,095 --> 00:18:36,303 Hey, girl. 507 00:18:36,387 --> 00:18:38,387 You becoming congressman was not part of the plan. 508 00:18:38,470 --> 00:18:39,637 Nope. 509 00:18:39,720 --> 00:18:41,428 Did you get the governor to pardon Mo? 510 00:18:41,512 --> 00:18:43,762 Well, I was following the plan, but then I realized, 511 00:18:43,845 --> 00:18:45,720 why would I use my chip with the governor to save Mo 512 00:18:45,804 --> 00:18:46,845 when I could use it for myself? 513 00:18:46,929 --> 00:18:47,970 Motherfucker. 514 00:18:48,053 --> 00:18:49,637 My mother always told me, 515 00:18:49,720 --> 00:18:50,762 when something breaks, 516 00:18:50,845 --> 00:18:52,053 you can't always put it back together, 517 00:18:52,136 --> 00:18:53,929 but you can use the pieces to move forward. 518 00:18:54,011 --> 00:18:56,261 Things between Mo and I will always be broken. 519 00:18:56,345 --> 00:18:58,261 I will never forgive him. 520 00:18:58,345 --> 00:19:00,261 So I'm just using the pieces he gave me. 521 00:19:00,345 --> 00:19:01,637 What about us, hmm? 522 00:19:01,720 --> 00:19:02,970 Huh? We're partners! 523 00:19:03,053 --> 00:19:04,595 Dawn, it's time for me to evolve 524 00:19:04,679 --> 00:19:06,261 into who you made me 525 00:19:06,345 --> 00:19:08,387 or maybe who I've always been deep down. 526 00:19:08,470 --> 00:19:09,929 Blair, you are not this person. 527 00:19:10,011 --> 00:19:11,261 You need to make this right. 528 00:19:11,345 --> 00:19:12,428 You need to use your new connections, 529 00:19:12,512 --> 00:19:13,762 and you need to get Mo that pardon. 530 00:19:13,845 --> 00:19:17,261 I will immediately. 531 00:19:17,345 --> 00:19:19,095 As soon as I solidify my standing in Congress 532 00:19:19,178 --> 00:19:22,011 and a second term seems in the bag. 533 00:19:24,845 --> 00:19:26,220 - Shit. - Does he wanna talk to me? 534 00:19:26,303 --> 00:19:27,303 No, no, he hung up. 535 00:19:27,387 --> 00:19:28,762 Why didn't he wanna talk to me? 536 00:19:28,845 --> 00:19:30,720 Look, you don't know this, but Mo was arrested, 537 00:19:30,804 --> 00:19:32,470 I don't know, once when he was, like, 17. 538 00:19:32,553 --> 00:19:34,220 So checkered past. No surprise there. 539 00:19:34,303 --> 00:19:36,387 Which means if he turns himself in, 540 00:19:36,470 --> 00:19:38,053 this will be his third strike. 541 00:19:38,136 --> 00:19:39,595 He thinks Blair's gonna save him, okay? 542 00:19:39,679 --> 00:19:42,136 If he confesses, he goes away for life. 543 00:19:42,220 --> 00:19:44,553 But we'd be free and clear. 544 00:19:44,637 --> 00:19:46,095 - Keith. - You're right. 545 00:19:46,178 --> 00:19:48,470 - We gotta-we gotta stop him. - Damn it. It's rush hour. 546 00:19:48,553 --> 00:19:50,136 How are we gonna cut through all this traffic? 547 00:19:50,220 --> 00:19:51,804 We can cut it with a blade. 548 00:19:51,887 --> 00:19:54,804 ♪ Bonnie Tyler's "Holding Out For a Hero" playing ♪ 549 00:19:59,011 --> 00:20:00,387 - Hey! I'm skating here! 550 00:20:00,470 --> 00:20:02,970 You're in the road, you piece of shit! 551 00:20:03,053 --> 00:20:05,303 Out of the way! 552 00:20:05,387 --> 00:20:08,637 ♪ In my wildest fantasy ♪ 553 00:20:08,720 --> 00:20:12,095 ♪ Somewhere just beyond my reach... ♪ 554 00:20:12,178 --> 00:20:13,095 Go! 555 00:20:13,178 --> 00:20:15,804 What are you looking at? There we go. 556 00:20:15,887 --> 00:20:17,261 ♪ Racing on the thunder ♪ 557 00:20:17,345 --> 00:20:18,637 - Shit! 558 00:20:18,720 --> 00:20:20,637 ♪ And rising with the heat ♪ 559 00:20:22,053 --> 00:20:24,261 ♪ It's gonna take a superman ♪ 560 00:20:24,345 --> 00:20:26,595 ♪ To sweep me off my feet ♪ 561 00:20:26,679 --> 00:20:29,553 - Oh! 562 00:20:29,637 --> 00:20:31,136 - Whoa! - ♪ I need a hero ♪ 563 00:20:32,679 --> 00:20:34,136 Don't do this. 564 00:20:34,220 --> 00:20:36,261 Dude, this shit really itches. 565 00:20:36,345 --> 00:20:39,845 Oh, shit, what the fuck happened to my car? 566 00:20:39,929 --> 00:20:41,553 My face is burning! 567 00:20:41,637 --> 00:20:44,178 And the fucking hair is falling off my head! 568 00:20:44,261 --> 00:20:45,553 You didn't wash the bleach off? 569 00:20:45,637 --> 00:20:46,845 I was supposed to wash the bleach off? 570 00:20:46,929 --> 00:20:48,053 What's this all about? 571 00:20:48,136 --> 00:20:49,637 What's with all this Just For Men? 572 00:20:49,720 --> 00:20:51,136 What's that? 573 00:20:51,220 --> 00:20:54,428 - What's-what's...what? - Uh...what? 574 00:20:57,345 --> 00:20:58,387 Keith. 575 00:20:58,470 --> 00:21:01,261 Hey. Buddy. 576 00:21:01,345 --> 00:21:02,387 I was looking for you. 577 00:21:02,470 --> 00:21:04,470 Jesus Christ, are you okay? 578 00:21:04,553 --> 00:21:06,053 You're the one I'm worried about. 579 00:21:06,136 --> 00:21:08,679 Seriously? Because your arms 580 00:21:08,762 --> 00:21:11,303 are kinda all twisted up the wrong way. 581 00:21:11,387 --> 00:21:13,011 Blair fucked us. 582 00:21:13,095 --> 00:21:14,387 He used his favor from Newell 583 00:21:14,470 --> 00:21:16,887 to get the governor to appoint him to Congress. 584 00:21:16,970 --> 00:21:19,595 If you confess, it'll be your third strike. 585 00:21:19,679 --> 00:21:21,720 You'll never be free. 586 00:21:21,804 --> 00:21:23,970 This is it, then. 587 00:21:24,053 --> 00:21:26,178 Yeah, time to go to Kokomo. 588 00:21:26,261 --> 00:21:27,470 For real. 589 00:21:27,553 --> 00:21:29,595 No, this is it. I gotta turn myself in. 590 00:21:29,679 --> 00:21:31,220 - For Dawn, for you... - Uh-huh. 591 00:21:31,303 --> 00:21:33,887 ...for Blair and all the ladies back at TBD. 592 00:21:33,970 --> 00:21:37,720 Too long I've just been running through the raindrops. 593 00:21:37,804 --> 00:21:40,178 Well, it's time old Mo got wet. 594 00:21:41,428 --> 00:21:42,887 That went kinda sexual at the end, 595 00:21:42,970 --> 00:21:44,095 but I think you know what I mean 596 00:21:44,178 --> 00:21:46,595 in a "cool guy line" way. 597 00:21:46,679 --> 00:21:49,053 Totally. I'd stop you, but I can't really move. 598 00:21:49,136 --> 00:21:50,512 It's my time, Keith. 599 00:21:50,595 --> 00:21:54,970 And you should really get both of those arms checked out. 600 00:21:55,053 --> 00:21:57,178 Oh, yeah, I do not feel good. 601 00:21:57,261 --> 00:21:59,261 No, you shouldn't. You got hit by a car. 602 00:21:59,345 --> 00:22:02,470 Yeah. Catastrophic pain. 603 00:22:02,553 --> 00:22:04,261 - And, Mo... 604 00:22:04,345 --> 00:22:06,178 - Mm-hmm? - You're a shit friend. 605 00:22:07,303 --> 00:22:08,929 - But you don't deserve this. - Thanks, man. 606 00:22:12,053 --> 00:22:14,845 Level with me, Doctor. 607 00:22:14,929 --> 00:22:16,303 Is there a cure? 608 00:22:16,387 --> 00:22:18,261 Yes, but it's gonna be hard. 609 00:22:18,345 --> 00:22:21,762 You have a very bad case of homosexuality. 610 00:22:21,845 --> 00:22:22,762 Worst I've ever seen. 611 00:22:22,845 --> 00:22:24,470 - Really? - Mm-hmm. 612 00:22:24,553 --> 00:22:26,470 Lucky for you, I practice a technique 613 00:22:26,553 --> 00:22:29,470 taught to me by Pastor Newell Swafford himself 614 00:22:29,553 --> 00:22:33,303 where, in phase one, we locate the trauma 615 00:22:33,387 --> 00:22:35,595 that separated you from your masculinity. 616 00:22:35,679 --> 00:22:38,470 Can you recall any traumatic event from your childhood 617 00:22:38,553 --> 00:22:40,637 that you might have suppressed? 618 00:22:40,720 --> 00:22:42,804 Not really. 619 00:22:42,887 --> 00:22:45,887 I was a pretty average Midwestern teen 620 00:22:45,970 --> 00:22:48,220 with a love for competitive a cappella 621 00:22:48,303 --> 00:22:51,387 and a dad determined to beat that love out of me. 622 00:22:56,804 --> 00:22:58,970 - I mean... 623 00:22:59,053 --> 00:23:01,011 ...does that count as one? 624 00:23:01,095 --> 00:23:04,804 He really died of heart attack 625 00:23:04,887 --> 00:23:05,970 while beating you? 626 00:23:06,053 --> 00:23:08,178 Yeah. 627 00:23:08,261 --> 00:23:10,428 Can you think of anything worse? 628 00:23:10,512 --> 00:23:11,887 No. 629 00:23:11,970 --> 00:23:14,845 Uh, I guess now that we've located the trauma, 630 00:23:14,929 --> 00:23:17,220 we can fast-track you to phase two, 631 00:23:17,303 --> 00:23:19,470 where we shock it out of you. 632 00:23:19,553 --> 00:23:20,553 Really? 633 00:23:20,637 --> 00:23:22,679 - Does that work? - Yes. 634 00:23:22,762 --> 00:23:26,011 We can shock any inconvenient trauma from your memory 635 00:23:26,095 --> 00:23:27,887 for $1,100 an hour. 636 00:23:28,679 --> 00:23:31,428 Well, money's no object. 637 00:23:32,345 --> 00:23:34,178 I am Agent Crandall. 638 00:23:34,261 --> 00:23:37,345 I've taken over the former agent's caseload 639 00:23:37,428 --> 00:23:39,720 due to the unpleasantness surrounding her, um... 640 00:23:39,804 --> 00:23:41,136 well, her. 641 00:23:41,220 --> 00:23:43,345 I have been tasked with putting this whole thing down 642 00:23:43,428 --> 00:23:46,053 as quickly and quietly as possible. 643 00:23:46,136 --> 00:23:47,929 Well, that's why I'm here. 644 00:23:48,011 --> 00:23:51,845 I am Maurice Monroe, AKA Roland Madison, 645 00:23:51,929 --> 00:23:54,095 and, uh, I'm here to confess. 646 00:23:54,178 --> 00:23:56,887 I was behind Black Monday. 647 00:23:57,679 --> 00:24:01,220 So you architected an algorithm with black box, 648 00:24:01,303 --> 00:24:03,220 Trojan horse firmware that could backdoor 649 00:24:03,303 --> 00:24:05,011 full kilobytes over baud while-- 650 00:24:05,095 --> 00:24:06,387 Yeah, bro, I'm a fucking nerd. 651 00:24:06,470 --> 00:24:08,887 I always wear a Trojan when I go backdoor. 652 00:24:10,887 --> 00:24:12,762 Look, I'm behind the Amerisavings thing. 653 00:24:12,845 --> 00:24:15,345 I'm also behind the TBD Ponzi scheme thing 654 00:24:15,428 --> 00:24:16,887 and the jammer shit. 655 00:24:16,970 --> 00:24:18,929 I'm behind all that shit. It was all me. 656 00:24:19,011 --> 00:24:20,387 So punish me. 657 00:24:20,470 --> 00:24:23,303 I made a lot of mistakes in my life. 658 00:24:28,345 --> 00:24:29,887 I'm sorry, I'm sorry. 659 00:24:29,970 --> 00:24:31,720 I just, uh... 660 00:24:35,178 --> 00:24:39,095 - You're still laughing. - Oh, yeah, I just, um-- 661 00:24:39,178 --> 00:24:42,845 Twenty minutes ago, someone confessed to Black Monday, 662 00:24:42,929 --> 00:24:46,929 and they had a far, far, far more credible story. 663 00:24:47,011 --> 00:24:50,095 So I guess you will just have to punish yourself. 664 00:24:50,178 --> 00:24:52,553 Um, but I do appreciate 665 00:24:52,637 --> 00:24:55,762 you stopping by so that I can now inform you in person 666 00:24:55,845 --> 00:24:58,095 that the terms of your immunity deal have been fulfilled 667 00:24:58,178 --> 00:25:00,261 and you are free to go, 668 00:25:00,345 --> 00:25:02,303 and I can officially flush this turd for good. 669 00:25:02,387 --> 00:25:04,595 Wait a minute. Who-who confessed? 670 00:25:04,679 --> 00:25:07,220 For this heinous act of financial terrorism, 671 00:25:07,303 --> 00:25:09,095 I sentence you to life! 672 00:25:09,178 --> 00:25:10,387 It'll be okay. We can appeal. 673 00:25:10,470 --> 00:25:11,804 Looking like that! 674 00:25:11,887 --> 00:25:14,136 I think the permanent damage you've done to your follicles 675 00:25:14,220 --> 00:25:16,387 is punishment enough. 676 00:25:16,470 --> 00:25:18,553 - Congratulations, Wayne. - Next case, please. 677 00:25:19,845 --> 00:25:20,720 Thanks. 678 00:25:21,679 --> 00:25:22,970 Motherfucker got off easy. 679 00:25:23,053 --> 00:25:24,804 Ugh, men. 680 00:25:24,887 --> 00:25:28,845 Uh, care to commiserate about this miscarriage of justice 681 00:25:28,929 --> 00:25:30,679 over a drink? 682 00:25:31,929 --> 00:25:34,178 I have a fiancé. I thought you knew. 683 00:25:34,261 --> 00:25:36,053 Are you joking? 684 00:25:36,136 --> 00:25:38,470 Six months, I've been reading feminist books 685 00:25:38,553 --> 00:25:39,679 and going to Gloria Steinem talkbacks. 686 00:25:39,762 --> 00:25:41,762 I dressed like Frida Kahlo for Halloween. 687 00:25:41,845 --> 00:25:43,970 Were you doing all that to sleep with me? 688 00:25:44,053 --> 00:25:45,303 Yes! 689 00:25:45,387 --> 00:25:46,261 Fuck yes! 690 00:25:46,345 --> 00:25:47,887 I-I thought you knew. 691 00:25:47,970 --> 00:25:51,136 I know that you knew that I didn't know shit! 692 00:25:51,220 --> 00:25:52,804 Fuck women! 693 00:25:55,887 --> 00:25:58,845 ♪ somber music ♪ 694 00:26:11,428 --> 00:26:12,970 I dig the braids. 695 00:26:13,053 --> 00:26:15,387 Your prison bitch do 'em for you? 696 00:26:15,470 --> 00:26:17,679 - One of 'em. 697 00:26:17,762 --> 00:26:19,178 You look good too. 698 00:26:19,261 --> 00:26:20,428 Is that my jacket? 699 00:26:20,512 --> 00:26:22,553 Yeah, one of 'em. 700 00:26:30,470 --> 00:26:32,804 Listen, I don't want you to worry, okay? 701 00:26:32,887 --> 00:26:36,011 I'm not gonna rest until I get you out of this fucking place. 702 00:26:36,095 --> 00:26:38,178 Oh, God. 703 00:26:38,261 --> 00:26:40,720 Mo-Mo, you still don't get it. 704 00:26:40,804 --> 00:26:43,220 I don't need you to fucking save me. 705 00:26:43,303 --> 00:26:46,470 I don't need you at all. 706 00:26:46,553 --> 00:26:49,428 ♪ The Boomtown Rats' "I Don't Like Mondays" playing ♪ 707 00:26:57,428 --> 00:26:58,804 - God damn it! 708 00:26:58,887 --> 00:27:00,637 Fucking Roland or Maurice 709 00:27:00,720 --> 00:27:03,303 or whoever the fuck fucking honeypotted me, 710 00:27:03,387 --> 00:27:06,387 and I know 'cause I fucking honeypotted him! 711 00:27:06,470 --> 00:27:08,845 - All power. - To the people! 712 00:27:15,845 --> 00:27:17,387 When something breaks in life, 713 00:27:17,470 --> 00:27:19,345 you can't always put it back together, 714 00:27:19,428 --> 00:27:22,428 but you can use the pieces to move forward. 715 00:27:22,512 --> 00:27:25,762 ♪ All the playing's stopped in the playground now ♪ 716 00:27:25,845 --> 00:27:28,887 ♪ She wants to play with the toys awhile ♪ 717 00:27:28,970 --> 00:27:32,428 ♪ And school's out early and soon we'll be learning ♪ 718 00:27:32,512 --> 00:27:35,720 ♪ And the lesson today is how to die ♪ 719 00:27:35,804 --> 00:27:38,095 ♪ And then the bullhorn crackles ♪ 720 00:27:38,178 --> 00:27:39,804 ♪ And the captain tackles ♪ 721 00:27:39,887 --> 00:27:43,303 ♪ With the problems and the hows and whys ♪ 722 00:27:43,387 --> 00:27:45,303 ♪ And he can see no reasons ♪ 723 00:27:45,387 --> 00:27:47,136 ♪ 'Cause there are no reasons ♪ 724 00:27:47,220 --> 00:27:51,428 ♪ What reason do you need to die, die ♪ 725 00:27:51,512 --> 00:27:53,804 ♪ Oh, oh, oh, tell me why ♪ 726 00:27:53,887 --> 00:27:56,387 ♪ I don't like Mondays ♪ 727 00:27:56,470 --> 00:27:57,220 ♪ Tell me why ♪ 728 00:27:57,303 --> 00:27:59,720 ♪ I don't like Mondays ♪ 729 00:27:59,804 --> 00:28:00,720 ♪ Tell me why ♪ 730 00:28:00,804 --> 00:28:03,011 ♪ I don't like, I don't like ♪ 731 00:28:03,095 --> 00:28:06,303 - ♪ Tell me why ♪ - ♪ I don't like Mondays ♪ 732 00:28:06,387 --> 00:28:08,637 - ♪ Tell me why ♪ - ♪ I don't like ♪ 733 00:28:08,720 --> 00:28:10,637 - ♪ I don't like ♪ - ♪ Tell me why ♪ 734 00:28:10,720 --> 00:28:13,929 - ♪ I don't like Mondays ♪ - ♪ Tell me why ♪ 735 00:28:14,011 --> 00:28:16,303 ♪ I don't like Mondays ♪ 736 00:28:16,387 --> 00:28:17,470 ♪ I wanna shoot ♪ 737 00:28:17,553 --> 00:28:22,470 ♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, oot ♪ 738 00:28:22,553 --> 00:28:26,178 ♪ The whole day down ♪ 739 00:28:45,470 --> 00:28:47,303 Larry! 740 00:28:47,387 --> 00:28:49,804 What, are you growing a tree? 741 00:28:51,428 --> 00:28:54,178 ♪ dramatic music ♪ 742 00:28:57,387 --> 00:28:58,929 Larry! 743 00:29:01,345 --> 00:29:04,762 Larry! 744 00:29:07,595 --> 00:29:09,470 - Larry! 745 00:29:09,553 --> 00:29:12,470 - Keith! 746 00:29:14,428 --> 00:29:16,470 That tracks. 747 00:29:24,637 --> 00:29:26,804 That tracks! That tracks! 748 00:29:26,887 --> 00:29:28,261 That tracks!