1 00:00:02,000 --> 00:00:07,000 Downloaded from YTS.MX 2 00:00:08,000 --> 00:00:13,000 Official YIFY movies site: YTS.MX 3 00:00:09,968 --> 00:00:12,595 (somber music) 4 00:00:17,809 --> 00:00:21,062 (film reel whirring) 5 00:00:27,694 --> 00:00:29,738 - You know, what's interesting is that, 6 00:00:29,779 --> 00:00:34,909 I bet all four of us have slightly different mothers 7 00:00:36,036 --> 00:00:40,498 and Kathy and I probably have the closest to the same. 8 00:00:40,540 --> 00:00:45,045 And Tara and I probably have the most different. 9 00:00:45,086 --> 00:00:47,505 And Cindy a bit different, 10 00:00:47,547 --> 00:00:50,633 because she definitely changed over time. 11 00:00:52,594 --> 00:00:57,766 You know, the woman of her 20s and early 30s, 12 00:01:00,852 --> 00:01:01,852 that was tough. 13 00:01:03,146 --> 00:01:04,731 - Hi folks, this is Johnny Cash. 14 00:01:04,773 --> 00:01:06,566 - Johnny Cash. - Johnny Cash. 15 00:01:06,608 --> 00:01:09,444 - Johnny Cash and the Tennessee Two! 16 00:01:09,486 --> 00:01:14,699 ♪ I keep a close watch on this heart of mine ♪ 17 00:01:15,283 --> 00:01:16,242 (camera flashing) 18 00:01:16,284 --> 00:01:17,744 Yeah, there was a girl. 19 00:01:17,786 --> 00:01:21,915 She had black eyes and the blackest hair. 20 00:01:21,956 --> 00:01:23,958 When I left, she cried. 21 00:01:24,000 --> 00:01:26,711 - Johnny Cash was an 18 year old Air Force trainee 22 00:01:26,753 --> 00:01:29,089 stationed down in San Antonio, Texas 23 00:01:29,130 --> 00:01:32,759 when he first met Miss Vivian Liberto. 24 00:01:32,801 --> 00:01:35,428 (somber music) 25 00:01:42,560 --> 00:01:44,854 - [Johnny] Hello Vivian, how is my sweetheart? 26 00:01:44,896 --> 00:01:47,857 Yours is alright but he's lonesome for you as usual. 27 00:01:47,899 --> 00:01:50,151 But then I'm always lonesome for you, Viv. 28 00:01:50,193 --> 00:01:53,113 I'll be thinking of you til we're together again, honey, 29 00:01:53,154 --> 00:01:54,614 and I'll never stop loving you. 30 00:01:54,656 --> 00:01:57,701 As long as I live, I'll never stop loving you. 31 00:01:57,742 --> 00:01:59,285 I love you, Vivian. 32 00:01:59,327 --> 00:02:02,163 (somber music) 33 00:02:08,128 --> 00:02:10,171 - My experience, just what I've seen 34 00:02:10,213 --> 00:02:11,506 out there has been 35 00:02:13,883 --> 00:02:15,844 that people really don't know her. 36 00:02:17,178 --> 00:02:21,057 - You know who VL is, don't you? 37 00:02:21,099 --> 00:02:23,143 - Vivian Leigh? 38 00:02:23,184 --> 00:02:24,227 - Nope. 39 00:02:25,437 --> 00:02:26,998 - It's someone prettier than Vivian Leigh. 40 00:02:27,022 --> 00:02:28,666 - I don't know, I think ever since "Walk the Line" 41 00:02:28,690 --> 00:02:30,316 came out too, that really did some damage 42 00:02:30,358 --> 00:02:32,902 and made her look very bad and just was not shown 43 00:02:32,944 --> 00:02:34,154 in a very nice light. 44 00:02:34,195 --> 00:02:36,698 - My band is here in Memphis. 45 00:02:36,740 --> 00:02:39,034 - Your band? 46 00:02:39,075 --> 00:02:40,493 John, your band? 47 00:02:40,535 --> 00:02:44,581 Your band is two mechanics who can't hardly play. 48 00:02:45,373 --> 00:02:46,708 - I haven't seen the movie 49 00:02:46,750 --> 00:02:49,252 and I don't want to see the movie. 50 00:02:49,294 --> 00:02:50,879 - Stay clear of my children. 51 00:02:50,920 --> 00:02:53,006 - [June] Vivian, I-I was just saying hello. 52 00:02:53,048 --> 00:02:54,424 - You heard me. - Viv. 53 00:02:54,466 --> 00:02:57,093 - I understand the movie depicted her differently 54 00:02:57,135 --> 00:03:01,181 than she was and honestly, I don't think anyone 55 00:03:01,222 --> 00:03:03,850 had an impression of her before that. 56 00:03:05,810 --> 00:03:09,522 - She stayed so private and so out of the public. 57 00:03:09,564 --> 00:03:11,691 I mean she would have friends for 10 years 58 00:03:11,733 --> 00:03:14,402 that never knew she was married to my dad. 59 00:03:14,444 --> 00:03:16,946 - She had been offered interviews, a lot of money, 60 00:03:16,988 --> 00:03:21,785 a lot of books and she refused to ever say anything. 61 00:03:21,826 --> 00:03:24,871 - When she was writing her book, late in life, 62 00:03:24,913 --> 00:03:28,166 she said, "There are things you kids don't even know, 63 00:03:28,208 --> 00:03:30,251 "that's why I wanna write the book." 64 00:03:32,587 --> 00:03:35,965 - She was a very private person. 65 00:03:36,007 --> 00:03:41,429 And was not prepared for all of the attention 66 00:03:42,555 --> 00:03:46,935 and public life and my dad's notoriety and fame. 67 00:03:47,727 --> 00:03:50,563 There was nothing in her past 68 00:03:50,605 --> 00:03:52,607 that would have prepared her for that 69 00:03:52,649 --> 00:03:55,402 and it's nothing she ever wanted. 70 00:03:55,443 --> 00:03:56,962 And then of course, when there was something 71 00:03:56,986 --> 00:03:59,781 that was negative, like when he got arrested 72 00:03:59,823 --> 00:04:03,243 for bringing pills across the border from Mexico, 73 00:04:03,284 --> 00:04:07,122 something like that just devastated her. 74 00:04:08,289 --> 00:04:12,377 - You know, appearances were incredibly important to her. 75 00:04:12,419 --> 00:04:15,422 And she was so elegant. 76 00:04:15,463 --> 00:04:19,592 A really nice figure, she dressed beautifully. 77 00:04:19,634 --> 00:04:21,594 Her hair was always done. 78 00:04:21,636 --> 00:04:23,513 She's very exotic looking. 79 00:04:24,681 --> 00:04:28,435 - Mom's hair was jet black and it was past her waist 80 00:04:28,476 --> 00:04:29,728 and it was really thick. 81 00:04:29,769 --> 00:04:31,855 It was just beautiful. 82 00:04:31,896 --> 00:04:36,693 And then in the 60s it went up into a big pile on her head 83 00:04:36,735 --> 00:04:40,196 and she, you know, it was just a work of art. 84 00:04:40,238 --> 00:04:44,075 - I would run my hand over her dresses in her closet. 85 00:04:44,117 --> 00:04:46,119 She had beautiful dresses. 86 00:04:46,161 --> 00:04:49,998 I thought that was the epitome of womanhood. 87 00:04:50,040 --> 00:04:53,001 I couldn't wait for the day when I could wear 88 00:04:53,043 --> 00:04:54,336 something like that. 89 00:04:56,463 --> 00:05:00,091 After their divorce, they saw her as, 90 00:05:01,259 --> 00:05:03,803 I don't know, as nothing. 91 00:05:03,845 --> 00:05:09,017 So my mother faded into a kind of negative obscurity. 92 00:05:10,894 --> 00:05:13,313 - That's what's so sad about the end 93 00:05:13,355 --> 00:05:16,358 of their marriage after 13 years. 94 00:05:16,399 --> 00:05:18,651 13 years is a long time. 95 00:05:18,693 --> 00:05:20,737 - To experience such a loss like that 96 00:05:20,779 --> 00:05:23,323 and have the whole world see it, 97 00:05:23,365 --> 00:05:26,159 I think that was really hard for her. 98 00:05:26,201 --> 00:05:27,994 Really, really hard. 99 00:05:29,496 --> 00:05:31,289 (camera flashing) 100 00:05:31,331 --> 00:05:33,833 - My mom had terrible anxiety. 101 00:05:33,875 --> 00:05:36,503 She had a really tough childhood 102 00:05:36,544 --> 00:05:39,172 and you know, through years of therapy 103 00:05:39,214 --> 00:05:44,219 I began to understand that she was damaged 104 00:05:45,178 --> 00:05:50,016 from the get-go and was working out a lot. 105 00:05:51,309 --> 00:05:55,480 Well, she didn't really work it out so much. 106 00:05:56,731 --> 00:06:00,944 (film reel whirring) (light music) 107 00:06:00,985 --> 00:06:04,656 - My mom was born April 23rd, 1934 108 00:06:04,698 --> 00:06:06,991 in San Antonio, Texas. 109 00:06:07,033 --> 00:06:10,954 Her ancestors had come over from Sicily 110 00:06:10,995 --> 00:06:16,209 and that's where my grandpa, Tom and Irene were from. 111 00:06:17,335 --> 00:06:19,879 Irene Robinson was my grandmother's maiden name. 112 00:06:20,588 --> 00:06:22,966 Her father was incredibly strict 113 00:06:23,008 --> 00:06:25,885 and Catholic, devout Catholic. 114 00:06:25,927 --> 00:06:28,805 They believed in mortal sin and had 115 00:06:28,847 --> 00:06:30,807 to go to Mass every Sunday 116 00:06:30,849 --> 00:06:34,561 and all of the rituals and restrictions 117 00:06:34,602 --> 00:06:36,813 in the Catholic Church, that was center. 118 00:06:38,732 --> 00:06:41,234 She went to Saint Mary's in San Antonio. 119 00:06:41,276 --> 00:06:44,320 All girls, Catholic School. (school bell ringing) 120 00:06:44,362 --> 00:06:46,573 She took some domestic classes, 121 00:06:46,614 --> 00:06:48,324 you know, had to take Homemaking 122 00:06:49,409 --> 00:06:51,828 and the girls would have to dance together 123 00:06:51,870 --> 00:06:53,830 because there were no boys. 124 00:06:54,789 --> 00:06:58,793 So my grandfather, Tom, was an amateur magician, 125 00:06:58,835 --> 00:07:01,588 but he would be called to perform at parties 126 00:07:01,629 --> 00:07:04,341 and he was also a champion rose gardener. 127 00:07:04,382 --> 00:07:08,636 And he was asked to create a breed of rose 128 00:07:08,678 --> 00:07:12,098 for Ladybird Johnson's visit to San Antonio 129 00:07:12,140 --> 00:07:14,768 and he had beautiful rose bushes. 130 00:07:14,809 --> 00:07:16,603 Of course that's where my mom got that, 131 00:07:16,644 --> 00:07:19,773 her love of rose bushes and gardening. 132 00:07:20,815 --> 00:07:25,987 As strict as my grandpa was, my grandma, Irene, 133 00:07:27,155 --> 00:07:30,033 was kind of loose and didn't really have a sense 134 00:07:30,075 --> 00:07:33,536 of the parameters of how you lived your life 135 00:07:33,578 --> 00:07:35,580 that my grandpa did. 136 00:07:35,622 --> 00:07:37,832 And that my mom eventually adopted. 137 00:07:38,667 --> 00:07:40,794 My grandma was an alcoholic 138 00:07:40,835 --> 00:07:44,631 and I didn't hear very many stories about that 139 00:07:44,673 --> 00:07:46,925 but I understood that at some times 140 00:07:46,966 --> 00:07:49,177 my mom would come home from school 141 00:07:49,219 --> 00:07:51,930 and grandma would be passed out on the sofa 142 00:07:51,971 --> 00:07:54,683 and she would clean the house 143 00:07:54,724 --> 00:07:57,143 so that Grandpa, when he came from work, 144 00:07:57,185 --> 00:08:01,147 wouldn't know that Grandma had been passed out. 145 00:08:01,189 --> 00:08:05,860 So my mom did take on an adult role and 146 00:08:08,571 --> 00:08:11,282 I think that my grandpa was violent 147 00:08:11,324 --> 00:08:15,120 that he hit Uncle Ray. 148 00:08:16,204 --> 00:08:18,832 - I know that my grandfather didn't believe 149 00:08:18,873 --> 00:08:21,001 in spanking girls. 150 00:08:21,042 --> 00:08:26,214 So if the girls did something, he spanked Uncle Ray. 151 00:08:26,923 --> 00:08:30,343 Uncle Ray told me that years ago 152 00:08:30,385 --> 00:08:32,637 that he would say, "This one's for Vivian 153 00:08:32,679 --> 00:08:34,305 "and this one's for you." 154 00:08:35,056 --> 00:08:37,142 I know, I don't get it either. 155 00:08:37,183 --> 00:08:40,186 - You know, I heard that he never hit the girls 156 00:08:41,187 --> 00:08:45,650 but I don't know how much to believe of that. 157 00:08:48,319 --> 00:08:53,742 So the summer of 1951, my mom was 17 years old 158 00:08:54,659 --> 00:08:57,579 and she was a big roller skater. 159 00:08:57,620 --> 00:09:00,540 And she went roller skating one night 160 00:09:00,582 --> 00:09:05,503 and she met this young man who was in the Air Force 161 00:09:05,545 --> 00:09:10,258 who was stationed in San Antonio for a short time. 162 00:09:10,300 --> 00:09:14,054 I think before he went up to skate with her, 163 00:09:14,095 --> 00:09:16,556 he bet his buddy that he could walk 164 00:09:16,598 --> 00:09:18,641 that girl home that night. 165 00:09:19,601 --> 00:09:22,520 And he won the bet. 166 00:09:22,562 --> 00:09:24,439 - He told me that he fell in love with her 167 00:09:24,481 --> 00:09:25,940 the minute he saw her. 168 00:09:25,982 --> 00:09:28,234 So he knocked her down so he could meet her. 169 00:09:28,276 --> 00:09:30,904 - I've never heard that Dad ran into Mom 170 00:09:30,945 --> 00:09:32,405 on the skating rink. 171 00:09:32,447 --> 00:09:33,615 I never heard that. 172 00:09:33,656 --> 00:09:35,075 Did she say that? 173 00:09:35,116 --> 00:09:38,036 - Well, I always heard that they physically bumped 174 00:09:38,078 --> 00:09:40,246 into each other, my dad and my mom. 175 00:09:40,288 --> 00:09:42,916 - She found out later he bumped into her on purpose 176 00:09:42,957 --> 00:09:44,793 'cause he thought she was cute. 177 00:09:44,834 --> 00:09:46,503 - No, I don't think so. 178 00:09:46,544 --> 00:09:50,757 He definitely made a bet that he could walk her home 179 00:09:50,799 --> 00:09:52,759 and then I think he went up to her 180 00:09:52,801 --> 00:09:57,180 and said something to her and then started skating with her 181 00:09:57,222 --> 00:09:59,015 and then started flirting with her 182 00:09:59,057 --> 00:10:00,517 and then walked her home. 183 00:10:01,476 --> 00:10:03,436 And then they saw each other for three weeks 184 00:10:03,478 --> 00:10:05,897 before he was shipped off to Germany. 185 00:10:06,564 --> 00:10:08,274 And then they wrote each other 186 00:10:08,316 --> 00:10:11,528 when he was in Germany nearly every day. 187 00:10:11,569 --> 00:10:13,279 Sometimes twice a day. 188 00:10:13,321 --> 00:10:16,408 My sisters and I have over 1000 letters 189 00:10:16,449 --> 00:10:18,326 they wrote to each other. 190 00:10:18,368 --> 00:10:20,036 They were besotted. 191 00:10:20,078 --> 00:10:22,706 "My sweetheart, my angel, my darling. 192 00:10:22,747 --> 00:10:24,082 "I can't wait to see you. 193 00:10:24,124 --> 00:10:26,292 "I think about you day and night." 194 00:10:26,334 --> 00:10:27,836 It was endless. 195 00:10:28,962 --> 00:10:32,507 - Mom kept a diary of every time she got a letter 196 00:10:32,549 --> 00:10:34,426 and every time she mailed one. 197 00:10:34,467 --> 00:10:38,138 There's a photo of my dad in his uniform 198 00:10:38,179 --> 00:10:40,265 in the barracks in his bedroom 199 00:10:40,306 --> 00:10:42,183 with a picture of her on the wall 200 00:10:42,225 --> 00:10:45,311 and him acting like a monkey while he looks at her. 201 00:10:45,353 --> 00:10:49,149 - You know, a handsome young guy in a uniform. 202 00:10:49,190 --> 00:10:51,568 Dad was probably the most exciting thing 203 00:10:51,609 --> 00:10:53,528 that had ever happened for her. 204 00:10:54,487 --> 00:10:56,489 - It was like they just knew they were meant 205 00:10:56,531 --> 00:10:59,159 to be together and there was no doubt about it. 206 00:10:59,200 --> 00:11:01,286 He proposed through the mail. 207 00:11:01,327 --> 00:11:04,998 - And he actually sent her engagement ring through the mail. 208 00:11:05,040 --> 00:11:09,336 - You know, they were very, they were incredibly young. 209 00:11:09,377 --> 00:11:12,380 Incredibly young and that all comes out. 210 00:11:12,422 --> 00:11:14,382 And there's some really fascinating things, too, 211 00:11:14,424 --> 00:11:17,218 of him talking about albums he was listening to 212 00:11:17,260 --> 00:11:19,804 and playing guitar with some of his buddies 213 00:11:19,846 --> 00:11:23,475 and seeing a film about Folsom Prison. 214 00:11:23,516 --> 00:11:26,644 The most heartbreaking thing is that they had planned 215 00:11:26,686 --> 00:11:29,731 that she would come over and visit him at Christmastime 216 00:11:29,773 --> 00:11:32,192 and then her father said no. 217 00:11:32,984 --> 00:11:35,195 They were heartbroken. 218 00:11:35,236 --> 00:11:38,907 She didn't speak to her father for weeks. 219 00:11:38,948 --> 00:11:40,158 That's what I heard. 220 00:11:42,202 --> 00:11:43,787 (film static) - Viv, I had to fill up 221 00:11:43,828 --> 00:11:45,705 the other side with something. 222 00:11:45,747 --> 00:11:48,458 If you don't like it, you can just scratch this side off 223 00:11:48,500 --> 00:11:50,210 but it has a meaning, honey. 224 00:11:50,251 --> 00:11:53,963 - He would send her letters on tape 225 00:11:54,005 --> 00:11:58,093 and I think he sent her a song or two 226 00:11:58,134 --> 00:12:00,428 that he was working on or had written. 227 00:12:01,346 --> 00:12:06,142 ♪ Am I the one who'll always hold you ♪ 228 00:12:06,184 --> 00:12:10,063 ♪ Til the end of time ♪ 229 00:12:10,105 --> 00:12:15,276 ♪ Or will there be another lover ♪ 230 00:12:15,985 --> 00:12:18,822 ♪ To steal a love that's mine ♪ 231 00:12:18,863 --> 00:12:21,449 - But the one that sticks out for me 232 00:12:21,491 --> 00:12:25,370 is that letter that he sent her on tape. 233 00:12:26,454 --> 00:12:28,748 - [Johnny] Hello, Vivian, how's my sweetheart? 234 00:12:28,790 --> 00:12:31,376 Yours is all right but he's lonesome for you as usual. 235 00:12:31,418 --> 00:12:34,045 But then I'm always lonesome for you, Viv. 236 00:12:34,087 --> 00:12:36,172 This isn't quite the same as being with you, honey, 237 00:12:36,214 --> 00:12:39,217 but maybe I can tell you some things I want to. 238 00:12:39,259 --> 00:12:42,262 The most important thing, I guess, is that I love you. 239 00:12:42,303 --> 00:12:44,514 I do, Vivian, I love you very much. 240 00:12:45,807 --> 00:12:48,601 It won't be long now, honey, and we'll be together for life. 241 00:12:48,643 --> 00:12:51,938 We won't be counting the days much longer, angel. 242 00:12:51,980 --> 00:12:53,773 Just keep those precious letters coming 243 00:12:53,815 --> 00:12:55,316 until we are, sweetheart. 244 00:12:55,358 --> 00:12:57,193 They mean so much to me over here 245 00:12:58,445 --> 00:13:00,631 I'll be thinking of you til we're together again, honey, 246 00:13:00,655 --> 00:13:02,115 and I'll never stop loving you. 247 00:13:02,157 --> 00:13:04,951 As long as I live, I'll never stop loving you. 248 00:13:04,993 --> 00:13:06,161 I love you, Vivian. 249 00:13:07,412 --> 00:13:10,206 (romantic music) 250 00:13:31,519 --> 00:13:34,314 (pen scratching) 251 00:13:52,916 --> 00:13:55,752 - He got home on July 4th, 1954. 252 00:13:55,794 --> 00:13:59,089 I cannot imagine how intense that was for them 253 00:13:59,130 --> 00:14:01,132 after thousands of letters 254 00:14:01,174 --> 00:14:03,093 and being separated for so long. 255 00:14:03,134 --> 00:14:06,888 And like, there's a desperation to be together 256 00:14:06,930 --> 00:14:09,683 and get married and talking very seductively 257 00:14:09,724 --> 00:14:13,895 about that day in their letters to each other. 258 00:14:15,188 --> 00:14:20,360 They got married August 7th, 1954 in San Antonio. 259 00:14:20,860 --> 00:14:23,405 (light music) 260 00:14:27,283 --> 00:14:30,203 And I remember my mother saying how hot that day was. 261 00:14:30,245 --> 00:14:33,581 I mean, you know, San Antonio can be unbearably hot 262 00:14:33,623 --> 00:14:34,623 in the summer. 263 00:14:36,126 --> 00:14:39,337 He wore his uniform 264 00:14:39,379 --> 00:14:42,048 and she wore a very elaborate wedding dress 265 00:14:42,090 --> 00:14:45,301 with veil and sleeves in that heat. 266 00:14:46,386 --> 00:14:50,306 And then they drove to Memphis for their honeymoon. 267 00:14:52,767 --> 00:14:55,228 I don't know where they spent their first night 268 00:14:55,270 --> 00:14:58,398 but I remember my mother telling me 269 00:14:58,440 --> 00:15:01,735 that when they went to breakfast the next morning 270 00:15:01,776 --> 00:15:03,319 after their wedding night, 271 00:15:03,361 --> 00:15:06,489 she was so embarrassed and hoped that the people 272 00:15:06,531 --> 00:15:10,952 in the restaurant didn't know what they had been doing. 273 00:15:11,995 --> 00:15:13,496 And they'd been doing something 274 00:15:13,538 --> 00:15:17,083 'cause I was born nine months later. (chuckling) 275 00:15:18,418 --> 00:15:20,086 I think they moved to Memphis 276 00:15:20,128 --> 00:15:22,922 because my dad had an offer of a job 277 00:15:22,964 --> 00:15:24,716 with his brother, Roy. 278 00:15:25,508 --> 00:15:28,595 I wrote a song about that trip. 279 00:15:28,636 --> 00:15:31,973 It goes, "Headlights on a Texas road. 280 00:15:32,015 --> 00:15:34,100 "Hank Williams on the radio. 281 00:15:35,101 --> 00:15:38,688 "The church wedding, we spent all we had. 282 00:15:39,647 --> 00:15:42,442 "Now the deal is done to become Mom and Dad." 283 00:15:43,818 --> 00:15:49,240 So I imagine that they were making that decision, 284 00:15:50,158 --> 00:15:53,495 you know, for all of us in the future. 285 00:15:56,706 --> 00:16:00,460 Memphis was not an hour from where my dad grew up 286 00:16:00,502 --> 00:16:03,338 but I know when they moved to Memphis, 287 00:16:03,380 --> 00:16:05,674 they didn't have a nickel. 288 00:16:05,715 --> 00:16:08,009 They were so poor. 289 00:16:08,968 --> 00:16:10,804 My mom's sister told me once 290 00:16:10,845 --> 00:16:13,973 that she came after high school graduation 291 00:16:14,015 --> 00:16:17,394 and that they didn't even have money for groceries. 292 00:16:17,435 --> 00:16:20,063 That she had to spend her graduation money 293 00:16:20,105 --> 00:16:22,440 to help buy groceries for them. 294 00:16:22,482 --> 00:16:24,442 My mom told me she had two dresses 295 00:16:24,484 --> 00:16:26,236 when she was pregnant with me. 296 00:16:26,277 --> 00:16:27,946 That that's the only thing she could wear 297 00:16:27,987 --> 00:16:31,408 and that she would sit on the front porch 298 00:16:31,449 --> 00:16:36,621 and eat a dishpan full of cherry tomatoes every day. 299 00:16:37,789 --> 00:16:41,292 That that's what she craved, that's what she wanted. 300 00:16:41,334 --> 00:16:43,586 - You know, she said those were the hardest times 301 00:16:43,628 --> 00:16:45,755 and they were also the best times. 302 00:16:45,797 --> 00:16:49,342 - She told me that was the happiest time in her life. 303 00:16:49,384 --> 00:16:52,470 She said that many times over the years. 304 00:16:52,512 --> 00:16:54,597 She would've traded it all to go back 305 00:16:54,639 --> 00:16:57,892 to that little apartment in Memphis. 306 00:16:57,934 --> 00:17:00,562 (somber music) 307 00:17:08,403 --> 00:17:11,740 - My dad went to see his brother, Roy, 308 00:17:11,781 --> 00:17:14,868 at the car dealership and he walked 309 00:17:14,909 --> 00:17:16,661 into the mechanic's garage 310 00:17:16,703 --> 00:17:20,040 and Marshall Grant was working there. 311 00:17:20,081 --> 00:17:23,460 And Marshall always said that he saw my dad walk in 312 00:17:23,501 --> 00:17:26,379 and the hair on the back of his neck stood up. 313 00:17:26,421 --> 00:17:31,634 Like, he just knew that they were going to be together 314 00:17:32,344 --> 00:17:33,470 and create history together. 315 00:17:33,511 --> 00:17:35,221 And my dad said to them, 316 00:17:35,263 --> 00:17:37,849 "Roy says you boys play a little bit of guitar." 317 00:17:37,891 --> 00:17:40,477 And Marshall said, "A very little bit." 318 00:17:40,518 --> 00:17:43,855 And then they started getting together and playing. 319 00:17:43,897 --> 00:17:49,277 Well, my mom became very close to Marshall's wife, Etta. 320 00:17:49,903 --> 00:17:51,321 They were like sisters. 321 00:17:51,363 --> 00:17:53,531 I always felt good that she had such a close friend 322 00:17:53,573 --> 00:17:57,660 moving to Memphis not knowing anyone, no money. 323 00:17:57,702 --> 00:18:02,040 My dad had a job as a door-to-door salesman. 324 00:18:02,082 --> 00:18:03,750 He was terrible at it. 325 00:18:04,918 --> 00:18:07,253 A classic story is that one day he knocked on a door 326 00:18:07,295 --> 00:18:09,589 and the woman opened the door and he said, 327 00:18:09,631 --> 00:18:12,592 "You don't wanna buy a refrigerator, do you?" 328 00:18:12,634 --> 00:18:13,843 (laughing) 329 00:18:13,885 --> 00:18:16,638 Or he would talk a customer out of a product 330 00:18:16,680 --> 00:18:18,765 because it was too expensive. 331 00:18:19,516 --> 00:18:21,476 So he didn't do well at that. 332 00:18:22,560 --> 00:18:26,481 - Dad wasn't a salesman except when it came to himself. 333 00:18:26,523 --> 00:18:30,276 He showed up at Sam Phillips' door at Sun Records 334 00:18:30,318 --> 00:18:33,697 every day until Sam listened to him, so. 335 00:18:33,738 --> 00:18:35,699 - You know, my dad's first record came out 336 00:18:35,740 --> 00:18:39,619 a month after I was born so then the whole thing started 337 00:18:39,661 --> 00:18:42,455 with him going on the road and doing shows 338 00:18:42,497 --> 00:18:46,710 and I remember Mom saying that the first time Dad went 339 00:18:46,751 --> 00:18:51,923 on the road, she was terrified to be left home alone 340 00:18:53,133 --> 00:18:56,886 with me and that Dad went around to every window 341 00:18:56,928 --> 00:18:59,639 and every door and make sure the locks were working, 342 00:18:59,681 --> 00:19:02,308 make sure everything was locked, you know, 343 00:19:02,350 --> 00:19:03,852 to try to calm my mom's fear 344 00:19:03,893 --> 00:19:05,854 and that he was very worried too. 345 00:19:05,895 --> 00:19:11,317 Like, this was just unheard of, somebody to go on tour. 346 00:19:12,235 --> 00:19:15,613 Just completely out of their knowledge 347 00:19:15,655 --> 00:19:17,365 of the world or upbringing. 348 00:19:18,533 --> 00:19:21,745 I think she would meet Etta in town in Memphis 349 00:19:21,786 --> 00:19:25,749 to go to the Woolworth's and have a soda. 350 00:19:25,790 --> 00:19:28,793 Etta always said they just had so much fun together. 351 00:19:30,670 --> 00:19:34,507 When she went back for her post-partum check-up 352 00:19:34,549 --> 00:19:37,469 at six weeks after giving birth to me, 353 00:19:37,510 --> 00:19:40,889 the doctor told her she was pregnant with Kathy. 354 00:19:40,930 --> 00:19:46,311 And Kathy was born ten months and 23 days after I was born. 355 00:19:47,312 --> 00:19:49,689 I don't know if my mom was thrilled. 356 00:19:49,731 --> 00:19:51,941 She probably was because she always said 357 00:19:51,983 --> 00:19:53,526 she wanted six children. 358 00:19:53,568 --> 00:19:55,737 Or feeling a little overwhelmed, like, 359 00:19:55,779 --> 00:19:59,199 "How am I gonna deal with two babies?" 360 00:19:59,240 --> 00:20:03,453 Not like a little kid and a baby, but two babies. 361 00:20:03,495 --> 00:20:05,872 There's a legendary story in our family 362 00:20:05,914 --> 00:20:09,417 about her weaning me off the bottle 363 00:20:09,459 --> 00:20:12,545 before Kathy was born because she couldn't deal 364 00:20:12,587 --> 00:20:14,798 with having two babies on the bottle. 365 00:20:14,839 --> 00:20:19,552 And me, when Kathy was born, toddling into her room, 366 00:20:19,594 --> 00:20:23,390 sticking my hand through the crib and stealing the bottle 367 00:20:23,431 --> 00:20:25,141 out of Kathy's crib. 368 00:20:25,183 --> 00:20:30,605 I was not ready to be weaned at 10 months. 369 00:20:31,481 --> 00:20:33,733 - It's time for Country Style U.S.A, 370 00:20:33,775 --> 00:20:37,320 and here's our star, Johnny Cash! 371 00:20:37,362 --> 00:20:39,989 (audience cheering) 372 00:20:40,031 --> 00:20:41,241 - And then all of a sudden, 373 00:20:41,282 --> 00:20:42,701 here comes this huge, huge career. 374 00:20:42,742 --> 00:20:44,261 - This feller's good looking, isn't he? 375 00:20:44,285 --> 00:20:45,745 - Oh, he's handsome. 376 00:20:45,787 --> 00:20:47,387 - And I imagine he sings pretty good too. 377 00:20:47,414 --> 00:20:50,417 - [Host] So good that he's one of the biggest new stars 378 00:20:50,458 --> 00:20:51,751 in country music today. 379 00:20:51,793 --> 00:20:53,586 - He got big enough where he didn't have 380 00:20:53,628 --> 00:20:55,296 to open for Elvis Presley. 381 00:20:56,006 --> 00:20:58,842 (camera flashing) 382 00:21:00,468 --> 00:21:02,053 - Everything started snowballing. 383 00:21:02,095 --> 00:21:03,972 It all came pretty fast. 384 00:21:04,973 --> 00:21:07,767 "I Walk the Line" went up the charts. 385 00:21:07,809 --> 00:21:10,103 It was his first number one. 386 00:21:10,145 --> 00:21:14,107 ♪ I keep you on my mind both day and night ♪ 387 00:21:14,149 --> 00:21:16,693 - [Kathy] And that was his love song to mom. 388 00:21:19,237 --> 00:21:21,239 ♪ Because you're mine ♪ 389 00:21:21,281 --> 00:21:23,450 ♪ I walk the line ♪ 390 00:21:23,491 --> 00:21:25,827 (audience applauding) 391 00:21:27,287 --> 00:21:28,997 - We went everywhere as a family 392 00:21:29,039 --> 00:21:32,542 unless Dad was on the road or rehearsing. 393 00:21:32,584 --> 00:21:35,587 Everything was real tight, you know. 394 00:21:35,628 --> 00:21:39,007 I remember being really, really happy in Memphis. 395 00:21:41,718 --> 00:21:43,636 And family was around too. 396 00:21:43,678 --> 00:21:48,308 We had uncles and aunts, my grandparents. 397 00:21:48,350 --> 00:21:51,644 Grandma and Grandpa Cash had moved to Memphis by then. 398 00:21:51,686 --> 00:21:53,772 We had a lot of family picnics 399 00:21:53,813 --> 00:21:57,192 and Dad would end up chasing Mom with ice 400 00:21:57,233 --> 00:22:00,862 to put down her shirt or shorts or whatever 401 00:22:00,904 --> 00:22:04,491 and it always ended up with him picking her up like a baby. 402 00:22:04,532 --> 00:22:06,868 A lot of great memories in Memphis. 403 00:22:08,119 --> 00:22:10,830 I thought her name was Honey (chuckling) 404 00:22:10,872 --> 00:22:14,209 because that's the only thing Dad called her. 405 00:22:14,250 --> 00:22:15,835 That and Baby. 406 00:22:15,877 --> 00:22:19,089 I thought Baby was a nickname and Honey was her name. 407 00:22:19,130 --> 00:22:20,632 And when somebody called her Vivian, 408 00:22:20,674 --> 00:22:23,468 I just sounded so weird to me. 409 00:22:23,510 --> 00:22:25,553 They were always very affectionate. 410 00:22:26,763 --> 00:22:29,683 - My mom said that people were making fun of them 411 00:22:29,724 --> 00:22:31,393 five years after they were married 412 00:22:31,434 --> 00:22:34,396 because they were still holding hands everywhere they went. 413 00:22:34,437 --> 00:22:36,272 I just know they were very in love 414 00:22:36,314 --> 00:22:38,858 in the beginning and for quite a long time. 415 00:22:41,319 --> 00:22:44,989 - When Marshall and my dad would come off the road, 416 00:22:45,031 --> 00:22:49,577 they would come to pick my mom and me and Kathy up 417 00:22:49,619 --> 00:22:51,830 at Etta's house. 418 00:22:51,871 --> 00:22:55,208 And my dad would pick me up and throw me over his shoulder 419 00:22:55,250 --> 00:22:57,711 and Etta said that I would pat him on the back 420 00:22:57,752 --> 00:23:01,756 like, already, I knew it was a hard life. 421 00:23:02,924 --> 00:23:08,138 (film reel whirring) (light music) 422 00:23:58,813 --> 00:24:01,232 So in 1958 we left Memphis, 423 00:24:01,274 --> 00:24:06,404 moved to Encino, California in the valley of Los Angeles 424 00:24:07,489 --> 00:24:11,826 and Cindy would have just been a month or two old maybe. 425 00:24:12,452 --> 00:24:13,452 - I was six weeks old. 426 00:24:14,245 --> 00:24:16,206 And Dad said he didn't wanna buy a crib 427 00:24:16,247 --> 00:24:18,291 until we got to California 'cause he didn't want 428 00:24:18,333 --> 00:24:19,584 to have to move it. 429 00:24:19,626 --> 00:24:21,961 So I slept in a dresser drawer 430 00:24:22,003 --> 00:24:24,422 and he called me his rockabilly baby. 431 00:24:24,464 --> 00:24:25,965 (laughing) 432 00:24:26,007 --> 00:24:27,842 - [Announcer] Who do you trust? 433 00:24:28,677 --> 00:24:30,929 Here's the star of our show, 434 00:24:30,970 --> 00:24:33,848 Johnny Carson. (audience applauding) 435 00:24:33,890 --> 00:24:37,477 - And we bought Johnny Carson's house 436 00:24:37,519 --> 00:24:39,979 on Hayvenhurst Avenue in Encino. 437 00:24:40,021 --> 00:24:42,107 (camera shutter clicking) - There was this story 438 00:24:42,148 --> 00:24:46,611 that Johnny's wife had left a pie in the oven for my mom. 439 00:24:48,697 --> 00:24:49,906 I don't know if that's true, 440 00:24:49,948 --> 00:24:51,348 but I heard that my whole childhood. 441 00:24:52,325 --> 00:24:54,619 We had moved to California because my dad 442 00:24:54,661 --> 00:24:56,955 had an offer to be in a film 443 00:24:56,996 --> 00:25:00,000 and his manager, agent thought 444 00:25:00,041 --> 00:25:02,836 that this was the next career move for my dad 445 00:25:02,877 --> 00:25:04,504 to go into films. 446 00:25:04,546 --> 00:25:06,172 Like Elvis, I guess. 447 00:25:06,214 --> 00:25:09,259 And so the film he made was one called 448 00:25:09,300 --> 00:25:10,844 "Five Minutes to Live" 449 00:25:10,885 --> 00:25:14,931 which was later retitled "Door-to-Door Maniac". 450 00:25:14,973 --> 00:25:17,225 You know, I don't think I've ever seen that film. 451 00:25:17,267 --> 00:25:20,562 They certainly wouldn't have let us see it as children. 452 00:25:20,603 --> 00:25:24,107 But that didn't really pan out. 453 00:25:24,149 --> 00:25:26,985 My dad wasn't getting good films. 454 00:25:27,027 --> 00:25:30,071 I don't think he was necessarily a good actor 455 00:25:30,780 --> 00:25:32,699 but we stayed in Los Angeles. 456 00:25:32,741 --> 00:25:34,826 (water splashing) 457 00:25:34,868 --> 00:25:37,662 (light music) 458 00:25:39,497 --> 00:25:42,584 (water splashing) 459 00:25:51,301 --> 00:25:54,721 - Dad had this affection for animals 460 00:25:54,763 --> 00:25:57,057 which was great, we all love animals 461 00:25:57,098 --> 00:25:59,517 but he liked unusual animals 462 00:25:59,559 --> 00:26:02,896 so we had a monkey named Homer, 463 00:26:02,937 --> 00:26:04,689 a parrot named Jethro, 464 00:26:04,731 --> 00:26:07,734 and an Irish Setter named Penny Cash. 465 00:26:08,777 --> 00:26:09,611 (chuckling) 466 00:26:09,652 --> 00:26:10,862 It was a lot of fun. 467 00:26:10,904 --> 00:26:12,822 If you're a kid, it was a lot of fun. 468 00:26:12,864 --> 00:26:14,991 I don't know how that was for Mom, 469 00:26:15,033 --> 00:26:18,995 taking care of a monkey, a dog, a parrot and three kids 470 00:26:19,037 --> 00:26:20,914 at the time, while he's on the road 471 00:26:20,955 --> 00:26:24,250 but I'm sure it was overwhelming at times. 472 00:26:24,292 --> 00:26:27,879 - He brought home animals all the time. 473 00:26:27,921 --> 00:26:31,716 And Mom would say, "What did you do now?" 474 00:26:31,758 --> 00:26:34,302 - I remember him bringing home a crate 475 00:26:34,344 --> 00:26:37,347 of baby chicks one time and letting them out 476 00:26:37,389 --> 00:26:38,807 in the living room 477 00:26:38,848 --> 00:26:42,143 with my mother being furious about that. 478 00:26:42,185 --> 00:26:44,813 (parrot squawking) - I think it was the parrot 479 00:26:44,854 --> 00:26:47,190 that cried just like Cindy when she was a baby. 480 00:26:47,232 --> 00:26:48,942 And so my mother would go running in there 481 00:26:48,983 --> 00:26:52,570 and it would be the parrot crying. (chuckling) 482 00:26:52,612 --> 00:26:55,824 I think she thought, "Well if we move to California, 483 00:26:55,865 --> 00:26:58,201 "he'll be working and home every night 484 00:26:58,243 --> 00:27:02,455 "if he's doing TV shows or a movie or whatever," 485 00:27:02,497 --> 00:27:03,957 but that wasn't the case. 486 00:27:03,998 --> 00:27:06,126 He was doing luncheons with the executives 487 00:27:06,167 --> 00:27:09,087 and then the TV shows and then the road 488 00:27:09,129 --> 00:27:11,798 and he was promoting himself. 489 00:27:11,840 --> 00:27:13,633 - It's so nice to be back on Town Hall. 490 00:27:13,675 --> 00:27:17,303 It's been about seven months since we've been here. 491 00:27:17,345 --> 00:27:19,115 And we've been doing a lot of work since then. 492 00:27:19,139 --> 00:27:20,807 We've been to Australia, Tasmania, 493 00:27:20,849 --> 00:27:24,436 New Zealand, Alaska, Piticollac Cove 494 00:27:24,477 --> 00:27:25,812 Where's Piticollac Cove? 495 00:27:25,854 --> 00:27:29,816 ♪ You ask me if I'll miss her kisses ♪ 496 00:27:29,858 --> 00:27:32,360 ♪ I guess I will every day ♪ 497 00:27:32,402 --> 00:27:36,322 ♪ I don't like it but I guess things happen that way ♪ 498 00:27:36,364 --> 00:27:41,536 - She had a husband who was at this point very famous. 499 00:27:42,162 --> 00:27:44,539 Traveling all the time, 500 00:27:44,581 --> 00:27:46,666 no friends there. 501 00:27:46,708 --> 00:27:48,585 In the beginning, no help. 502 00:27:49,544 --> 00:27:51,629 I don't know that she made any close friends 503 00:27:51,671 --> 00:27:54,716 the entire time that we lived in Hayvenhurst either. 504 00:27:56,217 --> 00:28:00,180 I remember, I think, Aunt Sylvia visiting. 505 00:28:01,097 --> 00:28:02,849 - On the corner from our house, 506 00:28:02,891 --> 00:28:04,392 there was a bus stop there, 507 00:28:04,434 --> 00:28:08,313 and she noticed a woman there every morning 508 00:28:08,355 --> 00:28:11,274 in a uniform, like a housekeeping uniform. 509 00:28:11,316 --> 00:28:15,111 And she said, "I was so desperate for help 510 00:28:15,153 --> 00:28:18,406 "that I remember running to that bus stop 511 00:28:18,448 --> 00:28:22,369 "crying, asking her if she had any extra time." 512 00:28:23,078 --> 00:28:25,914 (somber music) 513 00:28:30,251 --> 00:28:34,214 - I mean, it had to have been incredibly difficult. 514 00:28:37,425 --> 00:28:38,425 It had to be hard. 515 00:28:39,469 --> 00:28:41,596 But one of the most powerful memories I have 516 00:28:41,638 --> 00:28:47,018 of living in that house is the day these television cameras 517 00:28:47,769 --> 00:28:49,187 came to our house to film 518 00:28:49,229 --> 00:28:51,898 this show called "Here's Hollywood". 519 00:28:51,940 --> 00:28:53,692 And they interviewed my mom and dad 520 00:28:53,733 --> 00:28:56,027 and then took pictures of them in the kitchen 521 00:28:56,069 --> 00:28:59,072 and took pictures here and filmed the house. 522 00:28:59,114 --> 00:29:01,449 And then I remember we children 523 00:29:01,491 --> 00:29:04,577 had to go out in the backyard with a keeper 524 00:29:04,619 --> 00:29:08,289 to keep us away while they talked to my mom and dad alone. 525 00:29:08,331 --> 00:29:12,168 I remember resenting this so much. 526 00:29:12,210 --> 00:29:15,922 That kind of celebrity intrusiveness. 527 00:29:17,382 --> 00:29:18,633 I don't know. 528 00:29:18,675 --> 00:29:22,137 Just the beginning of the Kardashian concept. 529 00:29:24,472 --> 00:29:26,433 I could tell my mother hated it too. 530 00:29:26,474 --> 00:29:29,853 I remember thinking that she became very false. 531 00:29:29,894 --> 00:29:32,480 She disappeared behind this facade 532 00:29:32,522 --> 00:29:36,526 and I remember thinking, "Where's Mom? 533 00:29:36,568 --> 00:29:37,819 "What is that?" 534 00:29:39,154 --> 00:29:41,990 (somber music) 535 00:29:42,866 --> 00:29:45,160 (camera flashing) 536 00:29:45,201 --> 00:29:50,081 She was not prepared for the level of notoriety 537 00:29:50,999 --> 00:29:53,293 and public attention she got. 538 00:29:53,335 --> 00:29:58,506 She somehow metabolized that as humiliation. 539 00:30:02,302 --> 00:30:04,637 - You see how easy it is to keep a man happy? 540 00:30:04,679 --> 00:30:07,640 - [Fred] They sure work hard, don't they, Barney? 541 00:30:07,682 --> 00:30:08,892 - How's the missus? 542 00:30:08,933 --> 00:30:10,352 - Just fine. 543 00:30:10,393 --> 00:30:11,787 I think she's here tonight. - Is she here tonight? 544 00:30:11,811 --> 00:30:12,830 We'll have some dinner after while. 545 00:30:12,854 --> 00:30:16,024 (audience laughing) 546 00:30:17,192 --> 00:30:20,653 - So my dad and mom became friends 547 00:30:20,695 --> 00:30:23,239 with Curly and Carol Lewis. 548 00:30:23,281 --> 00:30:26,368 And Curly was a contractor. 549 00:30:27,160 --> 00:30:28,620 So he got it in his head 550 00:30:28,661 --> 00:30:33,375 to build this house Curly was going to design 551 00:30:34,084 --> 00:30:35,335 in Casitas Springs. 552 00:30:35,377 --> 00:30:37,045 Now, Casitas Springs was halfway 553 00:30:37,087 --> 00:30:39,172 between Ojai and Ventura. 554 00:30:39,214 --> 00:30:40,840 And it was in this little, 555 00:30:40,882 --> 00:30:43,093 it was this village, practically, 556 00:30:43,134 --> 00:30:46,680 this tiny little stop in the road that you... 557 00:30:46,721 --> 00:30:48,682 The road to Ojai went here. 558 00:30:48,723 --> 00:30:53,353 If you just curved off and then back on the main road, 559 00:30:53,395 --> 00:30:54,979 this was Casitas Springs. 560 00:30:55,021 --> 00:30:57,565 It was just one road through it 561 00:30:57,607 --> 00:30:59,984 with some poor houses. 562 00:31:00,026 --> 00:31:03,238 You know, it was some lower-middle-class houses down here. 563 00:31:03,279 --> 00:31:05,782 Well he was gonna build this house on this mountain 564 00:31:05,824 --> 00:31:07,534 above this town. 565 00:31:07,575 --> 00:31:12,122 Like this big house overlooking these very basic dwellings. 566 00:31:13,415 --> 00:31:17,085 I mean, that in itself is so weird. 567 00:31:17,127 --> 00:31:18,336 It didn't make sense. 568 00:31:18,378 --> 00:31:20,880 The house was completely out of place. 569 00:31:20,922 --> 00:31:24,050 So isolated, no amenities. 570 00:31:25,135 --> 00:31:26,219 Crazy. 571 00:31:27,470 --> 00:31:29,556 - I think they were both really excited about it. 572 00:31:29,597 --> 00:31:31,516 They were gonna build their own house. 573 00:31:31,558 --> 00:31:35,270 I mean, they were in their 20s? 574 00:31:35,979 --> 00:31:37,522 Building their own house? 575 00:31:38,440 --> 00:31:40,692 - Long, long, long, long driveway 576 00:31:40,734 --> 00:31:42,235 leading up to the house. 577 00:31:42,277 --> 00:31:44,821 A ravine on one side. 578 00:31:44,863 --> 00:31:46,072 Dangerous. 579 00:31:46,948 --> 00:31:50,118 Rattlesnakes everywhere. 580 00:31:51,369 --> 00:31:54,414 - I remember my first memory is standing 581 00:31:54,456 --> 00:31:57,500 in front of that house while it was being built 582 00:31:57,542 --> 00:31:59,169 and I was standing next to my mother 583 00:31:59,210 --> 00:32:00,587 and she was holding my hand 584 00:32:00,628 --> 00:32:03,340 and her belly was out to here with Tara. 585 00:32:04,507 --> 00:32:08,219 - Right before we were getting ready to move to Casitas, 586 00:32:08,970 --> 00:32:11,264 Mom went into labor with Tara. 587 00:32:11,306 --> 00:32:16,269 - My mom had epic stories about childbirth. 588 00:32:16,311 --> 00:32:19,981 So much so that I was absolutely terrified 589 00:32:20,023 --> 00:32:22,067 at the idea of giving birth. 590 00:32:22,108 --> 00:32:26,780 Awful stories about my dad not being able to be in with her 591 00:32:26,821 --> 00:32:30,367 and them giving her a washcloth to chew on. 592 00:32:30,408 --> 00:32:32,786 Then them knocking her out right at the moment of birth 593 00:32:32,827 --> 00:32:35,580 which is the most awful thing they used to do to women. 594 00:32:35,622 --> 00:32:37,040 It's like, you go through labor 595 00:32:37,082 --> 00:32:38,559 and work, and work, and work, and work 596 00:32:38,583 --> 00:32:40,227 and right at the moment you're about to give birth 597 00:32:40,251 --> 00:32:41,670 they knock you out. 598 00:32:41,711 --> 00:32:43,797 And then you wake up in your room with some baby 599 00:32:43,838 --> 00:32:47,133 and they go, "This is your baby." (laughing) 600 00:32:47,175 --> 00:32:48,677 I just can't even imagine. 601 00:32:50,053 --> 00:32:53,807 With Tara, you know, this story, 602 00:32:53,848 --> 00:32:57,560 this awful childbirth story took on epic proportions. 603 00:32:57,602 --> 00:32:59,229 - You know, my mom always used to say, 604 00:32:59,270 --> 00:33:01,314 "They strapped me down and left the room," 605 00:33:01,356 --> 00:33:03,775 and it was horrid for her. 606 00:33:03,817 --> 00:33:05,151 It was really bad. 607 00:33:06,069 --> 00:33:08,738 - It was 16 hours and she always said, 608 00:33:08,780 --> 00:33:11,908 "And it was a dry birth." 609 00:33:11,950 --> 00:33:13,326 Never knew what that meant. 610 00:33:13,368 --> 00:33:18,581 Like, the amniotic fluid that had broken earlier? 611 00:33:19,708 --> 00:33:22,043 But that happens to almost everyone, you know? 612 00:33:22,085 --> 00:33:24,337 I still don't know what that means 613 00:33:24,379 --> 00:33:26,131 but she said it was so difficult 614 00:33:26,172 --> 00:33:27,716 that immediately after giving birth, 615 00:33:27,757 --> 00:33:29,884 she was crying and she turned to my dad and said, 616 00:33:29,926 --> 00:33:32,053 "I don't want any more babies." 617 00:33:34,055 --> 00:33:35,140 Poor Tara. 618 00:33:36,558 --> 00:33:40,520 - Mom was in the hospital for three or four days. 619 00:33:41,521 --> 00:33:45,442 We moved two weeks later to Casitas. 620 00:33:45,483 --> 00:33:48,236 So here Mom's got four children 621 00:33:49,904 --> 00:33:51,740 all under the age of six. 622 00:33:52,699 --> 00:33:55,035 A brand new house to take care of 623 00:33:55,076 --> 00:33:56,494 and they've just moved in. 624 00:33:57,579 --> 00:34:00,206 And I believe Dad went on the road. 625 00:34:01,332 --> 00:34:02,751 - Welcome back to Nashville too. 626 00:34:02,792 --> 00:34:05,962 - Well, nice to be back with all our friends again. 627 00:34:06,004 --> 00:34:07,380 Got a tour of the South. 628 00:34:07,422 --> 00:34:08,840 - A tour of the whole South. 629 00:34:08,882 --> 00:34:10,258 - Yes. - Wonderful. 630 00:34:11,760 --> 00:34:15,555 - It didn't dawn on me then but much later, you know, 631 00:34:15,597 --> 00:34:19,768 in my 30s, I started thinking, 632 00:34:19,809 --> 00:34:23,730 "Why would he put us in such an isolated place 633 00:34:23,772 --> 00:34:27,484 "when he was already on the road all the time?" 634 00:34:27,525 --> 00:34:32,614 You know, he had this idea of his rustic hideaway castle 635 00:34:33,365 --> 00:34:35,450 but he wasn't there that much. 636 00:34:36,576 --> 00:34:39,829 - I remember when we moved in, the entire yard was dirt. 637 00:34:39,871 --> 00:34:42,248 I remember her planting rose bushes. 638 00:34:42,290 --> 00:34:44,959 She had a cactus garden eventually 639 00:34:45,001 --> 00:34:47,587 but I don't know how she unpacked 640 00:34:47,629 --> 00:34:50,548 and set up house all by herself. 641 00:34:50,590 --> 00:34:55,387 It just seems like an impossible task for one person. 642 00:34:56,304 --> 00:34:57,806 - It was scary for her. 643 00:34:57,847 --> 00:35:00,225 Up on a mountain top in the middle of nowhere 644 00:35:00,266 --> 00:35:03,478 with a bunch of rattlesnakes, scorpions and tarantulas. 645 00:35:03,520 --> 00:35:06,189 - My mom was a really good shot. 646 00:35:06,231 --> 00:35:08,441 Dad had taught her how to shoot 647 00:35:08,483 --> 00:35:12,153 so she took care of more than one rattlesnake. 648 00:35:13,196 --> 00:35:15,573 - I remember all of us standing behind my mother's skirt 649 00:35:15,615 --> 00:35:20,161 while she shot a seven foot rattlesnake 15 times. 650 00:35:20,203 --> 00:35:21,621 That was really scary 651 00:35:21,663 --> 00:35:23,289 'cause that thing would not quit crawling 652 00:35:23,331 --> 00:35:26,084 and it was spread out in front of our whole garage door 653 00:35:26,126 --> 00:35:27,585 from one end to the other. 654 00:35:27,627 --> 00:35:29,462 I know that's why she had live-in maids. 655 00:35:29,504 --> 00:35:31,172 She didn't have live-in maids 656 00:35:31,214 --> 00:35:32,841 'cause she wanted live-in maids. 657 00:35:32,882 --> 00:35:36,302 She had 'em because she wanted another adult there. 658 00:35:37,012 --> 00:35:38,555 - We had bobcats. 659 00:35:38,596 --> 00:35:43,143 We had fans wanting to party on our front yard 660 00:35:43,184 --> 00:35:46,980 hoping Dad would come out and listen to their songs. 661 00:35:47,022 --> 00:35:50,859 - People would drive up there to find Johnny Cash. 662 00:35:51,693 --> 00:35:53,737 Sometimes one o'clock in the morning. 663 00:35:54,654 --> 00:35:56,865 And my mother was terrified. 664 00:35:58,366 --> 00:36:00,660 I remember once, she went to the door. 665 00:36:00,702 --> 00:36:03,329 Somebody was knocking on the door 666 00:36:03,371 --> 00:36:05,057 and she looked out through the glass on the side 667 00:36:05,081 --> 00:36:07,334 and said, "It's some old drunk," you know, 668 00:36:07,375 --> 00:36:09,002 and she wouldn't open the door. 669 00:36:09,044 --> 00:36:10,879 That happened all the time. 670 00:36:11,838 --> 00:36:14,341 But he did stay away for long periods 671 00:36:14,382 --> 00:36:18,887 and it was heartbreaking and it was really hard for my mom. 672 00:36:18,928 --> 00:36:23,391 And then one day he came back and he wasn't him. 673 00:36:23,433 --> 00:36:25,393 When he got on drugs. 674 00:36:26,353 --> 00:36:30,523 Like, that is seared in my memory. 675 00:36:30,565 --> 00:36:33,651 And he, before that, had always been so affectionate 676 00:36:33,693 --> 00:36:38,031 and so present with me and I felt his love. 677 00:36:38,073 --> 00:36:40,992 And he came in the house and he was gone. 678 00:36:42,744 --> 00:36:43,536 (shutter clicks) 679 00:36:43,578 --> 00:36:45,413 It's like, "Where's Dad?" 680 00:36:47,207 --> 00:36:48,333 It was traumatic. 681 00:36:50,335 --> 00:36:52,962 - I don't remember anything bad. 682 00:36:54,422 --> 00:36:58,259 My mom just kept us protected from all that. 683 00:36:58,301 --> 00:37:01,262 I didn't even know my dad was famous. 684 00:37:01,304 --> 00:37:04,182 I saw him on a show called "The Rebel" 685 00:37:05,350 --> 00:37:07,894 and he gets killed, a guy hits him over the head 686 00:37:07,936 --> 00:37:09,938 with a whiskey bottle and kills him. 687 00:37:09,979 --> 00:37:12,107 I thought it was real and he was dead 688 00:37:12,148 --> 00:37:14,734 and I was hysterical. 689 00:37:14,776 --> 00:37:16,069 I was four. 690 00:37:16,111 --> 00:37:18,279 My mom said she had to call all over the place 691 00:37:18,321 --> 00:37:20,198 to get my dad on the phone 692 00:37:20,240 --> 00:37:22,784 to make me realize he wasn't dead. 693 00:37:23,993 --> 00:37:27,664 - I think after I was born, things got really difficult 694 00:37:27,706 --> 00:37:29,541 between my mom and dad. 695 00:37:29,582 --> 00:37:34,337 He was on drugs a lot and so when he would come home, 696 00:37:34,379 --> 00:37:36,423 it would be a week or two later 697 00:37:36,464 --> 00:37:38,299 than he said he was gonna be. 698 00:37:39,884 --> 00:37:44,681 - I remember her letting me stay up and wait for my dad 699 00:37:44,723 --> 00:37:46,391 to come home one night. 700 00:37:46,433 --> 00:37:51,271 There was a window, you could look down the long driveway 701 00:37:52,272 --> 00:37:54,190 and you could see the bottom where the road 702 00:37:54,232 --> 00:37:55,942 came up to our house. 703 00:37:55,984 --> 00:38:00,905 So if you saw a car come onto the Casitas road, 704 00:38:00,947 --> 00:38:02,115 that could be Dad. 705 00:38:03,241 --> 00:38:05,702 If you saw a car come onto the Casitas road 706 00:38:05,744 --> 00:38:08,955 and turn into our driveway, that was Dad. 707 00:38:08,997 --> 00:38:13,126 So a few came onto the Casitas road 708 00:38:13,168 --> 00:38:15,378 and we got excited every time 709 00:38:15,420 --> 00:38:18,131 but it never turned. 710 00:38:18,173 --> 00:38:19,341 Never turned. 711 00:38:20,842 --> 00:38:23,511 I think she sent me to bed at one or two in the morning 712 00:38:24,679 --> 00:38:26,389 and he hadn't come. 713 00:38:27,349 --> 00:38:29,601 But then the next day he came 714 00:38:29,642 --> 00:38:30,852 and of course then they fought 715 00:38:30,894 --> 00:38:34,647 because she used that against him. 716 00:38:34,689 --> 00:38:37,525 "I let Rosanne stay up, you never came." 717 00:38:38,902 --> 00:38:40,362 (sighs) 718 00:38:40,403 --> 00:38:43,656 - When they built the house, they loved to have barbecues 719 00:38:43,698 --> 00:38:47,744 so they built this barbecue pit. 720 00:38:47,786 --> 00:38:50,997 - [Rosanne] Yeah, my mom was a wonderful hostess. 721 00:38:51,039 --> 00:38:54,334 Generous, laughing, 722 00:38:54,376 --> 00:38:55,794 very social. 723 00:38:56,711 --> 00:38:59,255 - Dad was good at bringing home animals. 724 00:38:59,297 --> 00:39:01,049 Just random animals. 725 00:39:01,091 --> 00:39:04,260 So he brought home a little black goat one time. 726 00:39:04,302 --> 00:39:08,264 And we thought that was our pet so it was Billy, the goat 727 00:39:08,306 --> 00:39:09,849 and it stayed in the backyard. 728 00:39:09,891 --> 00:39:11,810 We played with it for about a month 729 00:39:11,851 --> 00:39:14,521 and all of a sudden, all we got to hearing about 730 00:39:14,562 --> 00:39:16,606 was this barbecue and who was invited. 731 00:39:16,648 --> 00:39:20,402 And come to find out, this was Billy's barbecue. 732 00:39:23,196 --> 00:39:24,531 I was furious. 733 00:39:24,572 --> 00:39:26,574 This was a pet I played with. 734 00:39:26,616 --> 00:39:28,159 Well, Dad was from the country 735 00:39:28,201 --> 00:39:31,955 and you know, you didn't get attached to barbecue. 736 00:39:31,996 --> 00:39:35,000 So Tex Ritter came, I remember him. 737 00:39:35,041 --> 00:39:36,876 I remember Patsy Cline being there. 738 00:39:36,918 --> 00:39:39,337 I remember June Carter being there. 739 00:39:39,379 --> 00:39:42,716 I remember my mom and my grandmother being kind of upset 740 00:39:42,757 --> 00:39:46,094 after it was over and the next day or something, 741 00:39:46,136 --> 00:39:48,555 I remember my grandmother warning Mom 742 00:39:48,596 --> 00:39:49,931 about her a little bit. 743 00:39:51,057 --> 00:39:53,643 (light music) 744 00:39:57,355 --> 00:39:58,416 - [Johnny] Thank you very much. 745 00:39:58,440 --> 00:40:03,236 Nice to be back in Hollywood. 746 00:40:04,154 --> 00:40:06,656 - So my dad was playing the Hollywood Bowl. 747 00:40:06,698 --> 00:40:10,410 1963 so I would have been eight years old. 748 00:40:10,452 --> 00:40:12,120 June was on the show. 749 00:40:13,621 --> 00:40:16,416 - We had not seen Dad in a while 750 00:40:16,458 --> 00:40:18,793 and so we got all dressed up. 751 00:40:18,835 --> 00:40:21,296 - My mom was wearing a white coat. 752 00:40:21,338 --> 00:40:24,090 We went backstage after the show 753 00:40:24,132 --> 00:40:26,509 and I felt very awkward. 754 00:40:26,551 --> 00:40:28,178 Even though it was my dad, 755 00:40:28,219 --> 00:40:31,598 he felt very separate at this point. 756 00:40:31,639 --> 00:40:34,893 And June was rude to my mother. 757 00:40:34,934 --> 00:40:36,895 She said something like, you know, 758 00:40:37,854 --> 00:40:40,648 "Is that dirt on your coat, Vivian?" 759 00:40:40,690 --> 00:40:44,694 I don't know, there was this friction between them. 760 00:40:45,820 --> 00:40:50,116 - I was standing there with my mom and grandma Cash 761 00:40:50,158 --> 00:40:54,913 and sisters and I remember June sliding in the back seat 762 00:40:54,954 --> 00:41:00,126 of the limo with Dad and waving at us and saying, 763 00:41:00,710 --> 00:41:02,796 "Bye girls, bye Vivian." 764 00:41:02,837 --> 00:41:07,300 And I remember thinking, "That was odd." 765 00:41:08,009 --> 00:41:10,095 - It seemed kind of clear to me 766 00:41:10,136 --> 00:41:14,683 in this unconscious way, but I felt it very clearly 767 00:41:14,724 --> 00:41:18,395 that my dad had moved off. 768 00:41:18,436 --> 00:41:21,648 That we were separate. 769 00:41:21,690 --> 00:41:24,651 (dramatic music) 770 00:41:24,693 --> 00:41:27,529 - Dad had left a long time ago in his head 771 00:41:27,570 --> 00:41:29,948 and I think he just... 772 00:41:31,116 --> 00:41:33,952 He was trying to figure out how to manage leaving for good 773 00:41:33,993 --> 00:41:37,664 because he just kept going longer and longer 774 00:41:37,706 --> 00:41:39,249 without coming home. 775 00:41:39,290 --> 00:41:42,419 And I remember a whole year that he didn't come home. 776 00:41:42,460 --> 00:41:45,755 - I don't remember my dad being gone for a year. 777 00:41:45,797 --> 00:41:48,508 I mean, I'm sure it seemed like a year 778 00:41:48,550 --> 00:41:51,511 but he would not have stayed away for a year 779 00:41:51,553 --> 00:41:54,514 and sometimes he would disappear at the end of a tour 780 00:41:54,556 --> 00:41:56,224 and nobody knew where he was 781 00:41:56,266 --> 00:42:00,770 but eventually he always checked in and came home. 782 00:42:00,812 --> 00:42:02,689 But then he and my mom would fight 783 00:42:02,731 --> 00:42:04,024 the whole time he was home 784 00:42:04,065 --> 00:42:06,067 so he wouldn't wanna come home and fight. 785 00:42:07,027 --> 00:42:09,195 - I know they were so different, you know. 786 00:42:09,237 --> 00:42:14,617 My mother was, she wasn't a real quiet little thing. 787 00:42:15,368 --> 00:42:16,578 If she was mad you knew it. 788 00:42:16,619 --> 00:42:20,123 And Dad could not stand conflict. 789 00:42:20,165 --> 00:42:21,165 Arguing. 790 00:42:22,125 --> 00:42:24,085 - I remember our birthdays came and went. 791 00:42:25,170 --> 00:42:27,964 And Mom and Dad's anniversary came and went. 792 00:42:28,006 --> 00:42:30,800 And I remember Christmas came and went. 793 00:42:30,842 --> 00:42:35,638 And he showed up sometime after Christmas. 794 00:42:35,680 --> 00:42:38,725 I remember being furious with him 795 00:42:38,767 --> 00:42:40,435 and wondering, you know, just kept saying, 796 00:42:40,477 --> 00:42:41,853 "Where have you been?" 797 00:42:43,355 --> 00:42:47,734 - Seems like I remember Dad sleeping in the guest house. 798 00:42:48,443 --> 00:42:50,487 One time I remember he came home 799 00:42:51,363 --> 00:42:55,742 and he had a suitcase full of money. 800 00:42:55,784 --> 00:42:59,287 He had been paid in cash for an entire tour 801 00:42:59,329 --> 00:43:04,125 and he and my mom laid the money out on their bed 802 00:43:04,167 --> 00:43:08,880 and I remember my parents being very serious 803 00:43:08,922 --> 00:43:10,715 and getting along. 804 00:43:12,300 --> 00:43:13,635 It was very odd. 805 00:43:13,677 --> 00:43:15,095 They were getting along 806 00:43:15,136 --> 00:43:18,139 because they were counting their money together. 807 00:43:18,181 --> 00:43:20,433 (laughing) 808 00:43:20,475 --> 00:43:21,726 Oh my god. 809 00:43:23,019 --> 00:43:24,479 - I don't get to see you very often. 810 00:43:24,521 --> 00:43:26,290 Every time I see you, I enjoy your work very much. 811 00:43:26,314 --> 00:43:27,023 - Thank you. 812 00:43:27,065 --> 00:43:28,024 Proud to be with you. 813 00:43:28,066 --> 00:43:28,900 - You're looking well. 814 00:43:28,942 --> 00:43:30,694 - I'm feeling fine. 815 00:43:30,735 --> 00:43:32,237 - It was dire. 816 00:43:32,278 --> 00:43:36,908 He was on drugs, he was 130, 40 pounds, six feet two. 817 00:43:37,742 --> 00:43:40,620 There was just something horribly wrong 818 00:43:40,662 --> 00:43:43,790 but nobody told us what it was. 819 00:43:43,832 --> 00:43:47,460 (light music) (bowling ball rolling) 820 00:43:47,502 --> 00:43:49,129 (bowling pins clattering) 821 00:43:49,170 --> 00:43:53,758 My mom disappeared into her rage about my dad being gone. 822 00:43:55,343 --> 00:43:58,388 And then about him being with June and her knowing it. 823 00:43:59,389 --> 00:44:04,269 And into her fear that she was gonna lose him 824 00:44:05,061 --> 00:44:07,856 and anxiety and her resentment. 825 00:44:09,065 --> 00:44:13,361 - Well, Mom weighed 95, 97 pounds the whole time I was a kid 826 00:44:13,403 --> 00:44:17,824 so when she got upset, she lost even more weight. 827 00:44:17,866 --> 00:44:19,325 She just didn't eat. 828 00:44:20,368 --> 00:44:23,496 She cried a lot and she didn't sleep much 829 00:44:23,538 --> 00:44:27,208 and you know, she was smoking herself to death. 830 00:44:28,460 --> 00:44:30,754 I mean, she didn't even know how to find him 831 00:44:30,795 --> 00:44:34,674 to talk to him about it. (audience applauding) 832 00:44:34,716 --> 00:44:38,386 - There were many times, if I would like have a nightmare 833 00:44:38,428 --> 00:44:41,514 or wake up in the middle of the night for some reason, 834 00:44:41,556 --> 00:44:44,392 and go into my mom's room, she wouldn't be in there 835 00:44:44,434 --> 00:44:48,313 and I would go into the den and all the lights would be off 836 00:44:48,355 --> 00:44:52,317 except for one little reading lamp over her chair 837 00:44:52,359 --> 00:44:54,736 and she would be on the phone with my Aunt Sylvia, 838 00:44:54,778 --> 00:44:56,363 her sister, crying. 839 00:44:57,322 --> 00:44:59,366 That's the only thing I remember. 840 00:45:00,533 --> 00:45:02,535 I think she was just doing the best that she could 841 00:45:02,577 --> 00:45:05,288 but probably crumbling inside at the same time. 842 00:45:05,330 --> 00:45:08,083 But I think she was super, super strong. 843 00:45:08,124 --> 00:45:11,169 - I know she was a very strong woman, always, 844 00:45:11,211 --> 00:45:15,423 and so she just, she just did the best she could. 845 00:45:15,465 --> 00:45:18,677 - My sisters would tend to protect her 846 00:45:18,718 --> 00:45:23,223 and to hold a very particular picture of my mom. 847 00:45:23,264 --> 00:45:27,477 And also, I experienced the brunt of a lot of it. 848 00:45:28,603 --> 00:45:32,899 I mean, honestly, I would come home from school 849 00:45:32,941 --> 00:45:37,821 with the most intense knot in my stomach 850 00:45:37,862 --> 00:45:40,532 wondering if my mom was gonna be alive. 851 00:45:41,491 --> 00:45:46,621 And I remember if the dry cleaning was there 852 00:45:47,330 --> 00:45:49,040 or the carpets had been cleaned 853 00:45:49,082 --> 00:45:51,292 and like, she had, there was the paper on the carpets 854 00:45:51,334 --> 00:45:53,420 to walk on while it was still drying, 855 00:45:53,461 --> 00:45:55,755 I remember feeling this sense of relief, like, 856 00:45:55,797 --> 00:45:58,925 "Well, if she got the carpets cleaned, 857 00:45:58,967 --> 00:46:01,428 "she's not gonna kill herself right now." 858 00:46:02,846 --> 00:46:06,933 I had this knot in my stomach every day of my childhood. 859 00:46:06,975 --> 00:46:08,476 Every single day. 860 00:46:10,520 --> 00:46:14,858 She was enraged, she was frightened, she was anxious. 861 00:46:14,899 --> 00:46:17,110 She was grief stricken. 862 00:46:17,152 --> 00:46:19,904 Had violent outbursts. 863 00:46:19,946 --> 00:46:22,032 Never knew when that was gonna happen. 864 00:46:22,073 --> 00:46:27,287 There was a sense of a lack of safety in my house 865 00:46:27,954 --> 00:46:31,332 and chaos. 866 00:46:34,294 --> 00:46:37,380 So no parenting and this constant fear 867 00:46:37,422 --> 00:46:39,341 that one of 'em was gonna die. 868 00:46:41,509 --> 00:46:45,263 I'm not saying this out of self pity, you know, 869 00:46:45,305 --> 00:46:50,518 I'm saying it looking back from decades on and going, 870 00:46:52,604 --> 00:46:54,981 "That was fucked up." 871 00:46:56,274 --> 00:47:01,363 Like, that's not how children should be raised. 872 00:47:03,531 --> 00:47:04,908 (film reel whirring) 873 00:47:04,949 --> 00:47:08,536 So I did take on a more adult role with the kids, 874 00:47:08,578 --> 00:47:12,665 my sisters, and acted like little mother. 875 00:47:12,707 --> 00:47:14,292 They called me Little Mother. 876 00:47:14,334 --> 00:47:16,795 I was always mothering them. 877 00:47:16,836 --> 00:47:18,380 Particularly Tara. 878 00:47:19,714 --> 00:47:21,049 And Kathy. 879 00:47:23,593 --> 00:47:26,721 I was always very protective of Kathy. 880 00:47:26,763 --> 00:47:29,057 When we were in Casitas, 881 00:47:29,099 --> 00:47:31,601 we went to Academy of Saint Catherine, 882 00:47:31,643 --> 00:47:33,228 we took the bus there 883 00:47:33,269 --> 00:47:37,732 and I was so worried about Kathy 884 00:47:37,774 --> 00:47:42,862 the whole time I was in class for the first few months. 885 00:47:42,904 --> 00:47:45,031 And Kathy didn't do well. 886 00:47:45,073 --> 00:47:49,577 She did not wanna be away from my mom. 887 00:47:50,495 --> 00:47:51,931 You know, and then there came this point 888 00:47:51,955 --> 00:47:53,581 where Kathy almost died. 889 00:47:55,834 --> 00:47:58,545 And she got a bacterial disease 890 00:47:58,586 --> 00:48:02,549 and it was impossible to diagnose 891 00:48:02,590 --> 00:48:04,342 and they sent her blood around the country 892 00:48:04,384 --> 00:48:06,386 trying to diagnose her. 893 00:48:06,428 --> 00:48:11,391 She had this fever of like 106 or something. 894 00:48:11,433 --> 00:48:14,269 She was in the isolation ward of the hospital. 895 00:48:15,770 --> 00:48:17,147 And my dad came home. 896 00:48:19,065 --> 00:48:20,900 That got him home. 897 00:48:20,942 --> 00:48:22,777 - It took her two or three days 898 00:48:22,819 --> 00:48:25,280 to even get a message to him. 899 00:48:25,321 --> 00:48:27,407 The only way she knew to get a hold of him 900 00:48:27,449 --> 00:48:30,035 was to call someone in the band 901 00:48:30,076 --> 00:48:35,040 or someone that, you know, she thought he was working with. 902 00:48:35,081 --> 00:48:36,916 - There was still an element 903 00:48:36,958 --> 00:48:39,336 of resentment of my dad in that. 904 00:48:40,295 --> 00:48:42,714 Like, "This is what it takes to get you home?" 905 00:48:45,300 --> 00:48:49,763 And they packed Kathy in ice to bring her fever down 906 00:48:49,804 --> 00:48:51,222 and it was just horrific. 907 00:48:51,264 --> 00:48:54,017 They sent me to my grandma and grandpa Cash's 908 00:48:54,059 --> 00:48:56,519 who lived not far down the road. 909 00:48:57,479 --> 00:48:58,938 I remember sitting in the bathtub 910 00:48:58,980 --> 00:49:02,817 at my grandparent's house praying with all my might 911 00:49:02,859 --> 00:49:04,277 that Kathy wouldn't die. 912 00:49:06,654 --> 00:49:09,199 And I always felt guilty about it too. 913 00:49:09,240 --> 00:49:12,369 I was constitutionally stronger than Kathy 914 00:49:13,036 --> 00:49:15,205 and I thought maybe I, 915 00:49:15,246 --> 00:49:18,625 it was because she was born so soon after I was. 916 00:49:18,667 --> 00:49:21,211 Maybe I took everything good from my mom 917 00:49:21,252 --> 00:49:23,088 and Kathy didn't get it. 918 00:49:24,339 --> 00:49:25,298 I don't know. 919 00:49:25,340 --> 00:49:28,009 I had guilt about that. 920 00:49:30,053 --> 00:49:32,097 (piano riffing) - I found out 921 00:49:32,138 --> 00:49:33,598 about three years ago 922 00:49:33,640 --> 00:49:38,311 that during that year, he was living in Soho 923 00:49:38,353 --> 00:49:40,980 or The Village or something with Bob Dylan, 924 00:49:41,022 --> 00:49:42,649 hanging out with Bob Dylan. 925 00:49:45,193 --> 00:49:46,444 Thanks! 926 00:49:46,486 --> 00:49:48,279 (laughing) 927 00:49:48,321 --> 00:49:50,990 (suspenseful music) 928 00:49:51,032 --> 00:49:52,033 (cameras flashing) 929 00:49:52,075 --> 00:49:54,369 Dad got arrested in El Paso. 930 00:49:54,411 --> 00:49:58,331 He had gone to Mexico to buy amphetamines 931 00:49:58,373 --> 00:50:01,918 and I guess barbiturates, I don't know. 932 00:50:01,960 --> 00:50:05,296 He got arrested with pills in his guitar case. 933 00:50:06,631 --> 00:50:09,009 (plane engine humming) So Mom went to El Paso 934 00:50:09,050 --> 00:50:10,969 to the courthouse with him. 935 00:50:11,011 --> 00:50:12,345 (cameras flashing) 936 00:50:12,387 --> 00:50:13,847 Coming out of the courthouse, 937 00:50:13,888 --> 00:50:16,850 somebody that works for the newspaper took a photo 938 00:50:16,891 --> 00:50:21,146 and Mom had on all black, her hair is all black, 939 00:50:21,187 --> 00:50:24,315 and she turned out darker than Dad. 940 00:50:28,028 --> 00:50:30,989 - [Rosanne] There was this rumor that my mother was black 941 00:50:31,031 --> 00:50:33,825 and then that my father had married a black woman. 942 00:50:35,035 --> 00:50:39,205 And in the south in the 60s, 943 00:50:39,247 --> 00:50:42,959 that was just, it was beyond, you know, 944 00:50:43,001 --> 00:50:45,253 that just didn't happen. 945 00:50:45,295 --> 00:50:47,088 (camera flashing) It was kind of a big deal 946 00:50:47,130 --> 00:50:48,381 at the time. 947 00:50:48,423 --> 00:50:51,718 (suspenseful music) 948 00:50:51,760 --> 00:50:53,928 - She didn't talk about that very much to me. 949 00:50:53,970 --> 00:50:58,892 And I think it was a very painful experience for her. 950 00:50:58,933 --> 00:51:00,727 There was a lot of negativity around it. 951 00:51:00,769 --> 00:51:03,396 And it was portrayed as a very negative thing 952 00:51:03,438 --> 00:51:06,566 and the KKK was out to get my father 953 00:51:06,608 --> 00:51:10,653 and prove that he was married to a black woman. 954 00:51:12,697 --> 00:51:16,201 - I remember Mom getting something in the mail 955 00:51:16,242 --> 00:51:20,372 at the post office in Casitas that really shook her up. 956 00:51:20,413 --> 00:51:22,457 I remember it was a really dark time. 957 00:51:22,499 --> 00:51:24,417 Just everything was dark. 958 00:51:24,459 --> 00:51:27,379 (somber music) 959 00:51:35,470 --> 00:51:39,933 - And it actually scared her a lot 960 00:51:39,974 --> 00:51:43,770 and she projected a lot of that fear on the kids as well. 961 00:51:43,812 --> 00:51:45,289 You know, it's like she didn't want us 962 00:51:45,313 --> 00:51:49,442 to play too far away from the house, or. 963 00:51:49,484 --> 00:51:53,196 - She was scared to death the KKK was coming for her 964 00:51:53,238 --> 00:51:54,614 and that Dad would be on the road 965 00:51:54,656 --> 00:51:56,574 and she had no idea what to do. 966 00:51:57,325 --> 00:51:58,993 Everyone knew where we lived. 967 00:51:59,035 --> 00:52:01,913 I mean, people showed up from all over the United States 968 00:52:01,955 --> 00:52:03,248 in our front yard. 969 00:52:03,289 --> 00:52:06,126 - We, I mean, what, they were gonna kill us? 970 00:52:06,167 --> 00:52:07,836 She said, "Yes." 971 00:52:07,877 --> 00:52:10,839 She said, "I was afraid to let you girls outta my sight." 972 00:52:12,048 --> 00:52:14,300 We also found all the letters that people had 973 00:52:14,342 --> 00:52:15,969 to write, proving she was Caucasian 974 00:52:16,011 --> 00:52:19,264 so that he could be booked in the South again. 975 00:52:19,305 --> 00:52:20,348 Yes. 976 00:52:21,099 --> 00:52:24,728 (typewriter keys clacking) 977 00:52:29,899 --> 00:52:35,321 (typewriter bell dinging) (suspenseful music) 978 00:52:35,864 --> 00:52:38,324 (pen scratching) 979 00:52:38,366 --> 00:52:42,245 (typewriter keys clacking) 980 00:52:43,371 --> 00:52:44,914 (typewriter bell dinging) 981 00:52:44,956 --> 00:52:48,043 They had to go to court to prove it 982 00:52:49,044 --> 00:52:51,421 'cause they had canceled every concert. 983 00:52:53,673 --> 00:52:57,135 - I remember being in the back seat of the car, 984 00:52:57,177 --> 00:53:02,557 driving to court and my mom was in the front seat 985 00:53:03,475 --> 00:53:05,310 and she just had this running commentary 986 00:53:05,352 --> 00:53:08,021 just, at my dad. 987 00:53:08,063 --> 00:53:10,148 "Look at all those people looking at us. 988 00:53:10,190 --> 00:53:13,485 "How does that make you feel with kids in the car?" 989 00:53:14,694 --> 00:53:18,239 She almost couldn't process it. 990 00:53:21,242 --> 00:53:25,330 It played into her very deepest wounds 991 00:53:25,372 --> 00:53:27,832 that were already there from childhood. 992 00:53:27,874 --> 00:53:29,876 So it made it doubly difficult. 993 00:53:29,918 --> 00:53:32,629 (ominous music) 994 00:53:33,421 --> 00:53:35,799 - Mom didn't sleep. 995 00:53:35,840 --> 00:53:38,802 She stood in this big picture window we had 996 00:53:38,843 --> 00:53:42,055 in our living room that overlooked the front yard 997 00:53:42,097 --> 00:53:47,018 and the driveway and she would stand in the dark 998 00:53:47,977 --> 00:53:51,231 in that window where she could look out 999 00:53:51,272 --> 00:53:52,816 but they couldn't see in. 1000 00:53:52,857 --> 00:53:56,569 And she always had a cup of coffee and her cigarettes 1001 00:53:56,611 --> 00:53:59,239 and the gun was real close by. 1002 00:53:59,280 --> 00:54:03,702 And she was standing guard while we were in bed asleep. 1003 00:54:03,743 --> 00:54:06,788 She didn't sleep much for many years. 1004 00:54:07,706 --> 00:54:10,667 It was really, it really took a toll on her. 1005 00:54:12,877 --> 00:54:15,064 - You know, it was inappropriate for her to tell me this 1006 00:54:15,088 --> 00:54:18,925 but she said, "Doctor Hall," who was our family physician, 1007 00:54:18,967 --> 00:54:22,721 "Told me that if I didn't get myself together, 1008 00:54:22,762 --> 00:54:25,765 "somebody else was gonna be raising my kids." 1009 00:54:25,807 --> 00:54:28,226 And she said, "And that's when I tried 1010 00:54:28,268 --> 00:54:30,061 "to start turning things around 1011 00:54:30,103 --> 00:54:34,315 "and not being suicidal and so distracted." 1012 00:54:37,652 --> 00:54:40,613 - So she filed for divorce thinking it might shock him 1013 00:54:40,655 --> 00:54:42,115 into coming home. 1014 00:54:42,157 --> 00:54:45,577 She actually did that thinking he would come 1015 00:54:45,618 --> 00:54:47,412 to his senses and come home. 1016 00:54:47,454 --> 00:54:49,039 And it backfired on her. 1017 00:54:50,165 --> 00:54:53,126 She filed for divorce and he let it go through. 1018 00:54:53,168 --> 00:54:55,962 - I remember going in, I remember the room we went into 1019 00:54:56,004 --> 00:54:59,007 and everything, and I remember her saying, 1020 00:54:59,049 --> 00:55:01,051 "I have something I need to tell you." 1021 00:55:01,092 --> 00:55:02,802 And I said, "What?" 1022 00:55:02,844 --> 00:55:05,805 - She set Rosanne and I down and told us 1023 00:55:05,847 --> 00:55:09,142 that she had filed for a divorce and I said, 1024 00:55:09,184 --> 00:55:10,727 "Well, what does that mean?" 1025 00:55:10,769 --> 00:55:12,270 And she said, "Well, the only thing 1026 00:55:12,312 --> 00:55:15,732 "that's gonna be different is your daddy's clothes 1027 00:55:15,774 --> 00:55:17,734 "won't be in the closet." 1028 00:55:17,776 --> 00:55:19,986 - I said, "Oh, okay, well that's okay. 1029 00:55:20,862 --> 00:55:22,131 "I don't care about his clothes." 1030 00:55:22,155 --> 00:55:23,155 You know? 1031 00:55:24,449 --> 00:55:26,385 - I think my older sisters have more clear memories 1032 00:55:26,409 --> 00:55:28,828 of how it actually was happening 1033 00:55:28,870 --> 00:55:31,831 but I was probably outside playing 1034 00:55:31,873 --> 00:55:35,585 and making up songs and not really aware 1035 00:55:35,627 --> 00:55:37,796 of the tragedy that was unfolding 1036 00:55:37,837 --> 00:55:41,925 between my parents' marriage and my dad's drug addiction. 1037 00:55:41,966 --> 00:55:43,802 Dad was always gone on the road anyway, 1038 00:55:43,843 --> 00:55:47,055 so it didn't really change things for us. 1039 00:55:49,265 --> 00:55:54,688 - I don't have a clear memory of my mom telling us 1040 00:55:55,522 --> 00:55:57,107 about getting the divorce. 1041 00:55:57,148 --> 00:55:58,858 I have a vague memory of it. 1042 00:55:59,734 --> 00:56:03,488 The main memory I have is relief 1043 00:56:03,530 --> 00:56:05,281 that they were gonna get divorced. 1044 00:56:06,408 --> 00:56:09,119 I remember thinking, even at 12, you know, 1045 00:56:10,078 --> 00:56:12,789 (sighs) "Maybe both of them will be happy now." 1046 00:56:15,583 --> 00:56:17,502 Divorce isn't always bad. 1047 00:56:19,921 --> 00:56:21,715 - Well, when he first moved out, 1048 00:56:21,756 --> 00:56:23,717 he moved in with Waylon in an apartment 1049 00:56:23,758 --> 00:56:24,801 in Madison, Tennessee 1050 00:56:26,052 --> 00:56:29,764 and Waylon had a $1000 a day cocaine habit 1051 00:56:29,806 --> 00:56:32,559 and Dad was popping pills and there was no way 1052 00:56:32,600 --> 00:56:34,894 in hell my mother was gonna let us come and stay 1053 00:56:34,936 --> 00:56:36,396 with him in that apartment. 1054 00:56:36,438 --> 00:56:39,399 So Dad got in his car, started driving around 1055 00:56:39,441 --> 00:56:42,152 and he came upon the house on the lake 1056 00:56:42,193 --> 00:56:43,778 and just the frame was up. 1057 00:56:45,780 --> 00:56:46,882 And he parked the car and got out and said, 1058 00:56:46,906 --> 00:56:48,575 "Who's in charge here?" 1059 00:56:48,616 --> 00:56:51,077 And they said, "Braxton Dixon" and Dad walked over to him 1060 00:56:51,119 --> 00:56:52,871 and he said, "I want this house." 1061 00:56:52,912 --> 00:56:54,914 And Braxton said, "I'm building it for my family," 1062 00:56:54,956 --> 00:56:56,875 and he said, "I'll give you double." 1063 00:56:56,916 --> 00:57:00,837 So Dad bought it and called my mom 1064 00:57:00,879 --> 00:57:03,548 and she said, "When the house is finished being built, 1065 00:57:03,590 --> 00:57:05,133 "they can come." 1066 00:57:05,175 --> 00:57:07,802 (light music) 1067 00:57:08,845 --> 00:57:11,598 - My grandparents, my aunt, my uncle, 1068 00:57:11,639 --> 00:57:13,933 everybody in Mom's family found out 1069 00:57:13,975 --> 00:57:17,145 about the divorce by reading it in the paper. 1070 00:57:17,187 --> 00:57:19,248 - I know she left town when it came out in the paper. 1071 00:57:19,272 --> 00:57:21,983 She took us girls and we went somewhere 1072 00:57:22,025 --> 00:57:24,694 because my mother was very private and had, I think, 1073 00:57:24,736 --> 00:57:27,447 some shame around the experience of having to go 1074 00:57:27,489 --> 00:57:29,199 through the divorce. 1075 00:57:29,240 --> 00:57:32,285 And I also think it was really a very sad, sad time for her. 1076 00:57:32,327 --> 00:57:35,997 So that's how she dealt with it. 1077 00:57:38,416 --> 00:57:41,127 - By then, the Lewises had moved to Oregon. 1078 00:57:41,169 --> 00:57:44,130 She took us to Oregon to visit them. 1079 00:57:44,172 --> 00:57:47,842 Just the four of us girls and we would do things like that 1080 00:57:47,884 --> 00:57:51,930 but you could tell she was just really sad. 1081 00:57:51,971 --> 00:57:53,556 Her heart was broken. 1082 00:57:57,477 --> 00:57:59,854 - Her father was still alive. 1083 00:57:59,896 --> 00:58:03,441 It just was not acceptable. 1084 00:58:03,483 --> 00:58:05,235 It was a mortal sin. 1085 00:58:05,276 --> 00:58:06,986 You would go to hell. 1086 00:58:07,028 --> 00:58:10,657 I remember her fearing her father's judgment a lot. 1087 00:58:10,699 --> 00:58:11,908 And she got it. 1088 00:58:13,743 --> 00:58:18,915 And yet she stayed Catholic. 1089 00:58:19,666 --> 00:58:21,334 She went to Mass every Sunday. 1090 00:58:21,376 --> 00:58:23,420 She sat in the front row. 1091 00:58:23,461 --> 00:58:27,507 She worked at the church with the Ladies' Guild. 1092 00:58:27,549 --> 00:58:31,511 She did bake sales, she did all kinds of stuff. 1093 00:58:31,553 --> 00:58:33,096 Involved herself in the church. 1094 00:58:33,138 --> 00:58:36,141 She made friends with the priests and nuns. 1095 00:58:36,933 --> 00:58:38,810 But she couldn't take communion 1096 00:58:39,894 --> 00:58:43,982 because she was divorced and she was excommunicated. 1097 00:58:44,024 --> 00:58:47,152 Divorce was cause for excommunication then. 1098 00:58:47,193 --> 00:58:50,739 And that's when I wanted to leave the Catholic Church. 1099 00:58:50,780 --> 00:58:55,326 I thought, "You have this woman who is devout, 1100 00:58:55,368 --> 00:58:58,538 "who buys into everything you're selling. 1101 00:58:58,580 --> 00:59:00,540 "You know, she's buying everything 1102 00:59:00,582 --> 00:59:03,960 "and showing up in every possible way 1103 00:59:04,002 --> 00:59:06,338 "and you won't let her receive communion? 1104 00:59:07,630 --> 00:59:09,257 "That's just wrong." 1105 00:59:10,633 --> 00:59:15,972 - So my dad, knowing how much her Catholicism meant to her, 1106 00:59:16,931 --> 00:59:19,392 wrote a letter to the archdiocese and said, 1107 00:59:19,434 --> 00:59:22,228 "This divorce happened all because of me 1108 00:59:22,937 --> 00:59:24,981 "and it's not her fault." 1109 00:59:25,023 --> 00:59:26,733 And they pardoned her 1110 00:59:26,775 --> 00:59:29,152 and she was able to receive communion again. 1111 00:59:31,529 --> 00:59:32,906 - You know, you got a choice, 1112 00:59:32,947 --> 00:59:36,368 you can either keep going or lay down and die 1113 00:59:36,409 --> 00:59:38,411 and she just kept going. 1114 00:59:38,453 --> 00:59:39,453 And, uh... 1115 00:59:42,457 --> 00:59:43,458 I don't know. 1116 00:59:43,500 --> 00:59:46,002 I don't know how she did it. 1117 00:59:47,170 --> 00:59:48,170 She just did. 1118 00:59:54,219 --> 00:59:57,472 - Well again, from a six or seven year old standpoint, 1119 00:59:57,514 --> 00:59:59,265 you know, we're looking for new houses 1120 00:59:59,307 --> 01:00:02,102 and we're looking at really awesome houses 1121 01:00:02,143 --> 01:00:04,521 and I remember some of them very well 1122 01:00:04,562 --> 01:00:05,980 but then when we found our house 1123 01:00:06,022 --> 01:00:08,400 with the indoor swimming pool and the view. 1124 01:00:08,441 --> 01:00:11,528 That was pretty exciting. 1125 01:00:11,569 --> 01:00:13,071 (electric camera whirring) 1126 01:00:13,113 --> 01:00:16,241 This house was a new, fresh start in a better location, 1127 01:00:16,282 --> 01:00:20,453 more people around and it just felt really good. 1128 01:00:20,495 --> 01:00:24,124 You know, sad that we're moving because there's a divorce 1129 01:00:24,165 --> 01:00:26,751 but my mother remarried really quickly after. 1130 01:00:28,586 --> 01:00:29,647 - My dad was doing a benefit 1131 01:00:29,671 --> 01:00:31,923 for the Boys' Club in Ventura 1132 01:00:31,965 --> 01:00:34,300 and Dick was one of the police officers signed 1133 01:00:34,342 --> 01:00:37,470 for security and she met him then. 1134 01:00:37,512 --> 01:00:40,974 And then as my parents' split became real, 1135 01:00:41,016 --> 01:00:43,685 she gravitated to Dick. 1136 01:00:43,727 --> 01:00:44,936 There was safety there. 1137 01:00:44,978 --> 01:00:46,938 Dick was married. 1138 01:00:46,980 --> 01:00:51,651 He left his wife and they got married very shortly 1139 01:00:51,693 --> 01:00:54,070 after my parents' divorce was final. 1140 01:00:55,238 --> 01:00:57,657 - I wasn't real thrilled about the remarrying part 1141 01:00:58,616 --> 01:01:03,246 because I wasn't crazy about him, to be honest. 1142 01:01:03,288 --> 01:01:05,915 And my mother said, all she kept thinking about 1143 01:01:05,957 --> 01:01:08,418 is that she knew Dad was gonna marry June 1144 01:01:08,460 --> 01:01:12,005 and she needed to get remarried before he married June. 1145 01:01:12,047 --> 01:01:14,758 I don't know why she felt that way. 1146 01:01:14,799 --> 01:01:16,676 I never understood that. 1147 01:01:16,718 --> 01:01:19,512 And I never understood why she chose who she chose. 1148 01:01:19,554 --> 01:01:21,848 It's still a mystery to me. 1149 01:01:22,557 --> 01:01:26,019 - But it was an unspoken bargain 1150 01:01:26,061 --> 01:01:29,481 because my mom could not be alone. 1151 01:01:29,522 --> 01:01:30,940 She had to be married. 1152 01:01:31,900 --> 01:01:36,738 Dick knew what he was buying into. 1153 01:01:37,655 --> 01:01:39,215 That there were gonna be a lot of perks. 1154 01:01:40,116 --> 01:01:43,620 He got sports cars and toys 1155 01:01:43,661 --> 01:01:46,164 and could do what he want. 1156 01:01:46,206 --> 01:01:48,875 He became a private detective for a short time, 1157 01:01:48,917 --> 01:01:51,878 then a travel agent, then you know, 1158 01:01:51,920 --> 01:01:55,256 and then eventually retired from everything. 1159 01:01:56,257 --> 01:01:59,344 And my mom really ran the show. 1160 01:01:59,386 --> 01:02:00,512 She ran everything. 1161 01:02:02,222 --> 01:02:05,767 And he just bought into it. 1162 01:02:06,643 --> 01:02:07,769 It was a bargain. 1163 01:02:12,524 --> 01:02:14,693 - I think she was happy as she could be. 1164 01:02:14,734 --> 01:02:19,072 She joined the garden club, she joined a bowling league. 1165 01:02:19,114 --> 01:02:20,907 - She would go to line dancing 1166 01:02:20,949 --> 01:02:23,910 and she would go to some country-western bar 1167 01:02:23,952 --> 01:02:26,955 with my stepfather and they would dance. 1168 01:02:26,996 --> 01:02:28,248 I remember her always saying, 1169 01:02:28,289 --> 01:02:30,917 "You girls should learn how to dance. 1170 01:02:30,959 --> 01:02:32,436 "You really should learn how to dance." 1171 01:02:32,460 --> 01:02:34,921 And I remember thinking, "Why is that so important?" 1172 01:02:34,963 --> 01:02:35,839 (laughing) 1173 01:02:35,880 --> 01:02:36,881 But she loved it. 1174 01:02:36,923 --> 01:02:38,425 She really did. 1175 01:02:38,466 --> 01:02:41,720 - She created a life that made sense for herself. 1176 01:02:41,761 --> 01:02:44,681 And that was very beautiful. 1177 01:02:44,723 --> 01:02:46,224 It really served her. 1178 01:02:46,266 --> 01:02:51,229 Her friends, her domestic skills, her paintings, 1179 01:02:52,188 --> 01:02:54,357 her making of her own stationary. 1180 01:02:54,399 --> 01:02:56,776 All of those things were beautiful 1181 01:02:56,818 --> 01:03:01,781 and kind of spread out from, I think, who she really was. 1182 01:03:01,823 --> 01:03:03,050 - Every time there was an event. 1183 01:03:03,074 --> 01:03:04,284 "Oh, I'll have it." 1184 01:03:04,325 --> 01:03:07,037 You know, she always had the parties 1185 01:03:07,078 --> 01:03:10,123 and the get-togethers and the baby showers 1186 01:03:10,165 --> 01:03:11,750 and the, you know. 1187 01:03:11,791 --> 01:03:15,545 Mom's whole key to everything was staying very busy. 1188 01:03:15,587 --> 01:03:20,800 She told me a few times, "If I stay busy, I don't think." 1189 01:03:21,843 --> 01:03:23,571 And I thought, "But sometimes you need to think." 1190 01:03:23,595 --> 01:03:26,014 You know, think things through and she said, 1191 01:03:26,056 --> 01:03:28,141 "No, I don't, I don't. 1192 01:03:28,183 --> 01:03:32,145 "I just do better if I don't think about certain things." 1193 01:03:32,187 --> 01:03:36,149 (upbeat music) (audience applauding) 1194 01:03:36,191 --> 01:03:37,692 - [Johnny] I thank you very much. 1195 01:03:37,734 --> 01:03:41,654 - After their divorce, they saw her as nothing. 1196 01:03:41,696 --> 01:03:46,284 As the woman he had to leave in order to be saved. 1197 01:03:46,326 --> 01:03:50,455 In order to be rehabilitated, you know, 1198 01:03:50,497 --> 01:03:54,876 and move into this great mythic love story with June. 1199 01:03:54,918 --> 01:03:56,419 - My wife, June Carter. 1200 01:03:56,461 --> 01:03:58,463 (audience applauding) Hi, honey. 1201 01:03:58,505 --> 01:03:59,839 How are you doing? 1202 01:03:59,881 --> 01:04:01,591 - And the myth was huge. 1203 01:04:01,633 --> 01:04:04,260 June was the one who saved him from drugs. 1204 01:04:04,302 --> 01:04:07,847 The Johnny and June show was very big, you know, 1205 01:04:07,889 --> 01:04:11,309 it was, like I said, it was mythic. 1206 01:04:11,351 --> 01:04:16,523 So my mother faded into a kind of negative obscurity. 1207 01:04:17,565 --> 01:04:19,693 (typewriter keys clacking) (light music) 1208 01:04:19,734 --> 01:04:20,694 (typewriter bell dinging) 1209 01:04:20,735 --> 01:04:24,280 (typewriter keys clacking) 1210 01:04:29,244 --> 01:04:30,203 (typewriter bell dinging) 1211 01:04:30,245 --> 01:04:33,998 (typewriter keys clacking) 1212 01:04:35,750 --> 01:04:38,586 (camera flashing) 1213 01:04:43,091 --> 01:04:45,885 - I wanna introduce to you, the man in my life, 1214 01:04:45,927 --> 01:04:49,806 as husband, lover and the father of the children, 1215 01:04:49,848 --> 01:04:51,433 seven of them, by the way. 1216 01:04:51,474 --> 01:04:55,311 When June would be on an interview with Dad, 1217 01:04:55,353 --> 01:04:58,898 she would say we have seven kids and I'm tired 1218 01:04:58,940 --> 01:05:00,650 and things like that. 1219 01:05:00,692 --> 01:05:04,279 We were only spending the summers and a week at Christmas 1220 01:05:04,320 --> 01:05:08,491 with Dad and June, so that would really hurt Mom 1221 01:05:08,533 --> 01:05:13,747 because she was raising all four of us by herself. 1222 01:05:14,956 --> 01:05:17,417 - When I was like 21, I was a tour guide in Dad's museum. 1223 01:05:17,459 --> 01:05:19,711 Do you know what was the biggest question I got asked 1224 01:05:19,753 --> 01:05:21,129 about my mother? 1225 01:05:21,171 --> 01:05:23,465 "How long has your real mother been dead?" 1226 01:05:24,132 --> 01:05:25,258 - I had a, I had... 1227 01:05:25,300 --> 01:05:26,402 I'm covered up with daughters, 1228 01:05:26,426 --> 01:05:27,969 I have six daughters, you see. 1229 01:05:28,011 --> 01:05:30,305 He had four daughters and that gave me six daughters 1230 01:05:30,347 --> 01:05:32,807 and then we had a little boy, and that gave us seven 1231 01:05:32,849 --> 01:05:34,642 and I'm tired. 1232 01:05:34,684 --> 01:05:36,269 (laughing) 1233 01:05:36,311 --> 01:05:39,481 - [Tara] I think, you know, it was just really difficult 1234 01:05:39,522 --> 01:05:44,736 for her to have my father's new wife 1235 01:05:46,279 --> 01:05:48,740 claiming her kids. 1236 01:05:48,782 --> 01:05:50,283 - She had no voice. 1237 01:05:50,325 --> 01:05:53,286 She had no way to communicate to the public. 1238 01:05:53,328 --> 01:05:55,789 And she'd always say, "I'm gonna write a book one day, 1239 01:05:55,830 --> 01:05:57,999 "you just wait." (chuckling) 1240 01:05:58,041 --> 01:05:59,810 - Tara, where are you, baby? - You know, June 1241 01:05:59,834 --> 01:06:03,129 had the platform of the public eye and being able 1242 01:06:03,171 --> 01:06:05,423 to say, you know, "These are our kids." 1243 01:06:05,465 --> 01:06:08,259 And my mother didn't have that platform. 1244 01:06:08,301 --> 01:06:11,930 And she was doing so much work raising us 1245 01:06:11,971 --> 01:06:15,183 that she didn't feel that people were seeing her 1246 01:06:15,225 --> 01:06:18,561 and that was important to her to feel seen. 1247 01:06:18,603 --> 01:06:21,523 And for people to recognize her role. 1248 01:06:22,732 --> 01:06:25,151 - I also found a letter she wrote to him 1249 01:06:25,193 --> 01:06:28,446 after she died that she never mailed 1250 01:06:28,488 --> 01:06:31,908 and it was like, "Dear Johnny, I have never, ever 1251 01:06:31,950 --> 01:06:35,036 "asked you for one thing since we've been divorced. 1252 01:06:35,078 --> 01:06:37,038 "We've been divorced now," 1253 01:06:37,080 --> 01:06:38,581 I think they'd been divorced 15 years, 1254 01:06:38,623 --> 01:06:42,335 "But I have one thing that I feel very strongly about 1255 01:06:42,377 --> 01:06:44,879 "and I have a favor to ask you. 1256 01:06:44,921 --> 01:06:47,298 "Will you please ask your wife 1257 01:06:47,340 --> 01:06:50,135 "to stop calling my daughters her children?" 1258 01:06:52,721 --> 01:06:54,472 (sighs) 1259 01:06:54,514 --> 01:06:55,515 (sniffles) 1260 01:06:55,557 --> 01:06:57,892 "You know how much they mean to me. 1261 01:06:59,060 --> 01:07:02,564 "I would think you could at least give me this much." 1262 01:07:03,732 --> 01:07:05,233 It's really sad. 1263 01:07:06,443 --> 01:07:09,863 It really broke her heart that he allowed that. 1264 01:07:09,904 --> 01:07:11,197 It was just, it was really, 1265 01:07:11,239 --> 01:07:14,075 when I found that letter, I thought, 1266 01:07:14,117 --> 01:07:16,119 "Why didn't she mail this?" 1267 01:07:16,161 --> 01:07:17,746 I wish she woulda mailed it. 1268 01:07:19,122 --> 01:07:20,665 'Cause he probably woulda done it. 1269 01:07:20,707 --> 01:07:23,251 He probably woulda asked her not to do it. 1270 01:07:24,169 --> 01:07:27,339 (film projector whirring) 1271 01:07:27,380 --> 01:07:30,467 - It may have been what happened in Casitas 1272 01:07:30,508 --> 01:07:35,430 that led to her wanting to have alarms on everything. 1273 01:07:36,139 --> 01:07:39,225 Her house eventually became 1274 01:07:39,267 --> 01:07:41,102 like living in an emergency room. 1275 01:07:41,936 --> 01:07:45,398 She had bells attached to everything. 1276 01:07:45,440 --> 01:07:49,444 To drawers that opened, to the front door, 1277 01:07:49,486 --> 01:07:51,237 to the door to the laundry room, 1278 01:07:51,279 --> 01:07:55,325 to the garage door, to her washer-dryer, 1279 01:07:55,367 --> 01:07:57,327 to her dishwasher. 1280 01:07:57,369 --> 01:08:01,623 There were bells going off in her house all the time. 1281 01:08:02,791 --> 01:08:04,918 I remember being so exhausted every time I came 1282 01:08:04,959 --> 01:08:07,128 to my mother's house, I'd have to go in the other room 1283 01:08:07,170 --> 01:08:09,547 and just close my eyes 1284 01:08:09,589 --> 01:08:13,802 and she would gasp at everything, you know. 1285 01:08:13,843 --> 01:08:18,390 If the bell went off, that someone had come up the driveway, 1286 01:08:18,431 --> 01:08:20,266 "(gasps) Who's that?" 1287 01:08:20,308 --> 01:08:21,935 It was constant. 1288 01:08:21,976 --> 01:08:27,065 And she had the TV, the radio going all the time, 1289 01:08:27,107 --> 01:08:28,983 sometimes at the same time. 1290 01:08:29,025 --> 01:08:32,570 - Ladies and gentlemen, my daughter, Rosanne Cash. 1291 01:08:32,612 --> 01:08:36,157 (audience applauding) 1292 01:08:37,492 --> 01:08:40,954 - She was proud of me but she was also suspicious. 1293 01:08:40,995 --> 01:08:46,209 She had seen what a life of fame and traveling 1294 01:08:47,168 --> 01:08:50,463 and you know, what the music industry was like 1295 01:08:50,505 --> 01:08:52,799 and what happened to my dad. 1296 01:08:52,841 --> 01:08:55,885 And so she thought that you become a musician 1297 01:08:55,927 --> 01:08:58,054 and you get divorced and you get on drugs 1298 01:08:58,096 --> 01:08:59,764 and you leave your kids. 1299 01:08:59,806 --> 01:09:01,492 - Aren't you out running around on the road all the time? 1300 01:09:01,516 --> 01:09:04,144 - Well, I mean, I go out and I come back a little bit 1301 01:09:04,185 --> 01:09:05,311 or I take them with me. 1302 01:09:05,353 --> 01:09:06,980 I'm a full time mother. 1303 01:09:07,022 --> 01:09:09,691 No, I wasn't gonna abandon my children. 1304 01:09:09,733 --> 01:09:11,735 I wasn't gonna become a drug addict. 1305 01:09:11,776 --> 01:09:14,863 I wasn't, well, I did get divorced, but it was, 1306 01:09:16,031 --> 01:09:19,617 you know, it wasn't out of that kind of acrimony. 1307 01:09:19,659 --> 01:09:21,953 And she would say, "You're just like your dad. 1308 01:09:21,995 --> 01:09:23,663 "You're just like your dad." 1309 01:09:23,705 --> 01:09:26,374 And it wasn't with any affection, believe me. 1310 01:09:27,500 --> 01:09:29,336 She was tough, you know. 1311 01:09:29,377 --> 01:09:33,840 It was hard to get her unmitigated approval about things. 1312 01:09:33,882 --> 01:09:36,509 "Why did you wear white shoes with a black suit?" 1313 01:09:36,551 --> 01:09:38,029 And, "What are you gonna do about your hair?" 1314 01:09:38,053 --> 01:09:40,889 And, "Why don't you start wearing makeup properly?" 1315 01:09:41,848 --> 01:09:42,974 You know? 1316 01:09:43,016 --> 01:09:45,518 All of those things were so important to her. 1317 01:09:45,560 --> 01:09:46,561 - That's right. 1318 01:09:46,603 --> 01:09:48,229 Now, let's talk about your hair. 1319 01:09:48,271 --> 01:09:49,814 (audience laughing) 1320 01:09:49,856 --> 01:09:51,649 This is a beautiful photograph. 1321 01:09:51,691 --> 01:09:53,294 You're a lovely woman, I don't need to tell you that. 1322 01:09:53,318 --> 01:09:54,903 - I remember the first time I was 1323 01:09:54,944 --> 01:09:58,698 on the David Letterman show, it was on my 30th birthday 1324 01:09:58,740 --> 01:10:01,701 and I thought I did really well. 1325 01:10:01,743 --> 01:10:04,913 And I was proud of myself and I thought to myself, 1326 01:10:04,954 --> 01:10:09,542 "I'm gonna call and get my mother's approval for once." 1327 01:10:09,584 --> 01:10:14,089 Like, just straight on, not held back approval. 1328 01:10:14,130 --> 01:10:17,384 And I called up, I said, "Did you see me?" 1329 01:10:17,425 --> 01:10:20,387 And she said, "Who was that person? 1330 01:10:20,428 --> 01:10:22,889 "I didn't even recognize that person." 1331 01:10:22,931 --> 01:10:24,933 (dial tone humming) I was shocked. 1332 01:10:26,518 --> 01:10:29,270 You know, my mom could be really funny too. 1333 01:10:29,312 --> 01:10:32,565 Like unintentionally funny. 1334 01:10:32,607 --> 01:10:35,860 I remember we went to see "Broadcast News" together 1335 01:10:35,902 --> 01:10:39,280 and there was this scene when Holly Hunter goes 1336 01:10:39,322 --> 01:10:41,157 into the room with Albert Brooks 1337 01:10:41,199 --> 01:10:44,369 and he reveals that he's actually in love with her 1338 01:10:44,411 --> 01:10:45,954 and it's this very intense scene 1339 01:10:45,995 --> 01:10:47,747 and like at the height of the intensity, 1340 01:10:47,789 --> 01:10:49,457 my mom turned to me and said, 1341 01:10:49,499 --> 01:10:51,376 "Where's her purse?" 1342 01:10:51,418 --> 01:10:53,962 (light music) 1343 01:10:58,717 --> 01:11:00,885 Hey, I noticed since I brought the camera out, 1344 01:11:00,927 --> 01:11:01,927 mom disappeared. 1345 01:11:02,637 --> 01:11:04,139 Oh, here she comes. 1346 01:11:04,180 --> 01:11:05,348 - And introducing, 1347 01:11:07,434 --> 01:11:08,560 Vivian Distin. 1348 01:11:10,687 --> 01:11:15,150 She didn't laugh as easy as she used to, you know. 1349 01:11:16,109 --> 01:11:18,361 She took herself too seriously sometimes 1350 01:11:18,403 --> 01:11:19,612 but you had to lighten her up 1351 01:11:19,654 --> 01:11:22,824 and she'd get to giggling. 1352 01:11:24,075 --> 01:11:27,328 - She was a very, very vibrant woman 1353 01:11:27,370 --> 01:11:29,706 but I could see the pain. 1354 01:11:30,665 --> 01:11:32,125 But then I brought it up to her, 1355 01:11:32,167 --> 01:11:34,044 and she just kinda got closed-mouthed about it 1356 01:11:34,085 --> 01:11:36,713 and just wouldn't wanna talk about it, you know. 1357 01:11:36,755 --> 01:11:40,300 Which is her way of saying, "That's too painful. 1358 01:11:40,342 --> 01:11:41,593 "I'm not going there." 1359 01:11:42,761 --> 01:11:44,637 - I'm not here to pry into your personal life. 1360 01:11:44,679 --> 01:11:48,350 - My personal life is an open book. 1361 01:11:48,391 --> 01:11:49,601 - [Columbo] Yes, sir. 1362 01:11:50,685 --> 01:11:53,021 - I remember it was no problem for her 1363 01:11:53,063 --> 01:11:56,775 to turn the TV on and watch his shows. 1364 01:11:57,776 --> 01:11:59,819 Which always was a little odd to me. 1365 01:11:59,861 --> 01:12:01,654 It was a little strange to me. 1366 01:12:01,696 --> 01:12:05,033 Like, she's okay with still embracing him in our lives 1367 01:12:05,075 --> 01:12:07,744 and as the years went on, I realized 1368 01:12:07,786 --> 01:12:11,039 that she still carried a very big torch for him 1369 01:12:11,081 --> 01:12:12,374 and always loved him. 1370 01:12:14,709 --> 01:12:16,002 - It was very obvious. 1371 01:12:17,170 --> 01:12:19,422 She died still loving him with all her heart. 1372 01:12:20,340 --> 01:12:22,676 - She just said she had never loved anybody 1373 01:12:22,717 --> 01:12:27,889 like she loved him and she had never gotten over him. 1374 01:12:28,973 --> 01:12:32,477 - No, my mom never fell out of love with my dad. 1375 01:12:32,519 --> 01:12:35,188 I remember as a teenager, walking into the bathroom one day 1376 01:12:35,230 --> 01:12:37,816 and said, "You're still in love with Dad, aren't you?" 1377 01:12:37,857 --> 01:12:40,777 And she would not look at me and would not answer me. 1378 01:12:41,903 --> 01:12:44,364 - She loved him til the day she died. 1379 01:12:44,406 --> 01:12:48,076 And Dick always knew that too which was interesting. 1380 01:12:48,118 --> 01:12:49,536 He was always the specter, 1381 01:12:49,577 --> 01:12:51,955 my dad was the specter in their marriage. 1382 01:12:53,289 --> 01:12:56,584 We weren't a family where you disappeared. 1383 01:12:56,626 --> 01:12:59,546 You stayed connected even though some of it 1384 01:12:59,587 --> 01:13:04,384 was destructive or hard, we stayed connected. 1385 01:13:04,426 --> 01:13:09,556 (camera flashing) (light music) 1386 01:13:20,608 --> 01:13:22,068 - You know, I have to say, 1387 01:13:22,110 --> 01:13:24,988 my mother was a better grandmother than she was mother. 1388 01:13:25,030 --> 01:13:27,073 And she became a good mother later on, 1389 01:13:27,115 --> 01:13:28,992 particularly to Tara. 1390 01:13:29,034 --> 01:13:34,456 And she loved us fiercely and would defend us against anyone 1391 01:13:35,790 --> 01:13:39,127 but she really came to life with her grandchildren. 1392 01:13:39,169 --> 01:13:41,796 (light music) 1393 01:13:45,467 --> 01:13:48,428 - She had an 800 number so they would call her all the time. 1394 01:13:48,470 --> 01:13:51,598 And it was 1-800-O-VIVIAN. 1395 01:13:51,639 --> 01:13:52,783 'Cause back then, you had to pay 1396 01:13:52,807 --> 01:13:54,434 for long distance phone calls. 1397 01:13:54,476 --> 01:13:57,228 And none of her grandchildren ever had any money, so. 1398 01:13:57,270 --> 01:13:59,939 (chuckling) 1399 01:13:59,981 --> 01:14:03,360 - When my husband and I moved back to Ojai, California, 1400 01:14:03,401 --> 01:14:05,028 my mom was living in Ventura, 1401 01:14:05,070 --> 01:14:06,654 which is only like 20 minutes away 1402 01:14:06,696 --> 01:14:07,906 so we got to see her a lot 1403 01:14:07,947 --> 01:14:10,450 and so she watched my kids when we went 1404 01:14:10,492 --> 01:14:11,701 out on a date or something. 1405 01:14:11,743 --> 01:14:14,245 And she spoiled them. 1406 01:14:14,287 --> 01:14:15,747 She loved them to death. 1407 01:14:15,789 --> 01:14:17,832 And I think she would have loved to have all 1408 01:14:17,874 --> 01:14:20,001 of her grandkids around all the time 1409 01:14:20,043 --> 01:14:24,089 because she just really enjoyed being a grandmother. 1410 01:14:25,632 --> 01:14:27,258 - [Man] Who are you talking to? 1411 01:14:27,300 --> 01:14:28,300 - Grandma. 1412 01:14:29,511 --> 01:14:34,724 - I went to her 50th class reunion 1413 01:14:35,433 --> 01:14:36,559 and I knew it was a big deal 1414 01:14:36,601 --> 01:14:39,187 and so I met her in San Antonio. 1415 01:14:39,229 --> 01:14:41,690 There was this lunch for all the ladies 1416 01:14:41,731 --> 01:14:45,902 who were, at this time, 68 years old. 1417 01:14:45,944 --> 01:14:48,154 And so all of the women went around the table 1418 01:14:48,196 --> 01:14:51,074 and told about their lives and every woman said 1419 01:14:51,116 --> 01:14:55,453 how long she'd been married and how many kids she had. 1420 01:14:55,495 --> 01:14:58,498 So it came to my mom, and she said, 1421 01:14:58,540 --> 01:15:00,208 "I've been married," 1422 01:15:00,250 --> 01:15:02,961 and then she gave the total, whatever it was, 1423 01:15:03,003 --> 01:15:08,133 of both husbands, but then she admitted, 1424 01:15:09,050 --> 01:15:10,510 "Well then, that's two husbands." 1425 01:15:10,552 --> 01:15:11,928 (chuckling) 1426 01:15:11,970 --> 01:15:13,489 Because it was a Catholic school, you know. 1427 01:15:13,513 --> 01:15:15,140 They didn't believe in divorce. 1428 01:15:16,891 --> 01:15:19,102 I felt bad for her. 1429 01:15:19,144 --> 01:15:21,730 (light music) 1430 01:15:23,231 --> 01:15:25,984 (pen scratching) 1431 01:15:28,194 --> 01:15:31,197 When she was writing her book late in life, 1432 01:15:31,239 --> 01:15:34,492 she said, "There are things you kids don't even know. 1433 01:15:34,534 --> 01:15:36,119 "That's why I wanna write the book." 1434 01:15:36,161 --> 01:15:39,039 And I said, "Why would you tell us that way? 1435 01:15:39,080 --> 01:15:41,708 "Why don't you tell us instead of writing a book 1436 01:15:41,750 --> 01:15:43,501 "about the things you want us to know?" 1437 01:15:43,543 --> 01:15:45,211 She had no answer for that. 1438 01:15:45,253 --> 01:15:48,048 - Going through all the memories as she was writing it, 1439 01:15:48,089 --> 01:15:51,551 it was very cathartic for her. 1440 01:15:51,593 --> 01:15:53,261 She said it was her therapy. 1441 01:15:54,387 --> 01:15:56,723 That she had never shared any of these things 1442 01:15:56,765 --> 01:15:59,017 with anyone because she felt like that 1443 01:15:59,059 --> 01:16:03,063 would have been betraying Dad or betraying their marriage. 1444 01:16:03,104 --> 01:16:07,734 So she actually went to Tennessee to get Dad's permission 1445 01:16:07,776 --> 01:16:09,736 to even publish the book. 1446 01:16:10,403 --> 01:16:13,531 (light music) 1447 01:16:13,573 --> 01:16:17,744 June passed on May 15th, 1448 01:16:17,786 --> 01:16:20,330 so Dad had been alone a couple of months 1449 01:16:20,372 --> 01:16:24,292 and Dad was in a wheelchair at that point. 1450 01:16:24,334 --> 01:16:27,712 And I pushed him out into the bedroom to see Mom. 1451 01:16:27,754 --> 01:16:28,713 It was cute. 1452 01:16:28,755 --> 01:16:31,299 She blushed and hugged him 1453 01:16:31,341 --> 01:16:34,636 and he kinda grinned and blushed a little bit 1454 01:16:34,678 --> 01:16:37,514 and they made small talk and then it ended up 1455 01:16:37,555 --> 01:16:39,057 being a really good conversation. 1456 01:16:39,099 --> 01:16:42,060 They had about an hour and a half talk 1457 01:16:42,102 --> 01:16:46,189 and Mom asked him how he felt about her publishing a book. 1458 01:16:46,231 --> 01:16:48,983 That she had worked on one and had told her story 1459 01:16:49,025 --> 01:16:51,236 and he said, "Well, of all the people on the planet 1460 01:16:51,277 --> 01:16:52,987 "that should tell their story, Vivian, 1461 01:16:53,029 --> 01:16:54,781 "I think it should be you." 1462 01:16:54,823 --> 01:16:56,032 That thrilled her 1463 01:16:56,074 --> 01:16:58,493 and made her feel really good to know 1464 01:16:58,535 --> 01:17:00,161 that he was okay with that. 1465 01:17:01,037 --> 01:17:03,790 - She was always elated if she had some time 1466 01:17:03,832 --> 01:17:05,208 to spend with my dad. 1467 01:17:05,250 --> 01:17:08,294 She just really enjoyed being with him 1468 01:17:08,336 --> 01:17:09,796 and seeing him. 1469 01:17:09,838 --> 01:17:11,214 He meant a lot to her. 1470 01:17:13,842 --> 01:17:15,468 - Rosanne was the only one not there. 1471 01:17:15,510 --> 01:17:19,848 And we have a picture of Mom, Dad, Kathy, Tara and me 1472 01:17:19,889 --> 01:17:21,641 and I hate Rosanne wasn't there 1473 01:17:21,683 --> 01:17:24,769 'cause it would have been our family again. 1474 01:17:24,811 --> 01:17:27,397 (light music) 1475 01:17:31,192 --> 01:17:34,487 - These were Mom's skates that she was wearing 1476 01:17:34,529 --> 01:17:35,697 when she met Dad. 1477 01:17:37,532 --> 01:17:40,160 She kept anything and everything 1478 01:17:40,201 --> 01:17:45,373 that had a memory attached that had to do with Dad. 1479 01:17:46,541 --> 01:17:48,501 - There was this giant, red suitcase in our house 1480 01:17:48,543 --> 01:17:51,629 and I remember her opening it a couple of times 1481 01:17:51,671 --> 01:17:54,007 and just being overwhelmed 1482 01:17:54,049 --> 01:17:55,633 by how many letters there were in there. 1483 01:17:55,675 --> 01:17:57,218 She saved every one of 'em. 1484 01:18:00,388 --> 01:18:02,515 And so she had 'em in chronological order. 1485 01:18:02,557 --> 01:18:05,685 She could read, you know, their responses to one another 1486 01:18:05,727 --> 01:18:07,979 and it was really quite something that 1487 01:18:08,021 --> 01:18:09,647 she saved all of those. 1488 01:18:09,689 --> 01:18:12,275 (light music) 1489 01:18:18,323 --> 01:18:21,534 - Johnny Cash is dead at the age of 71. 1490 01:18:21,576 --> 01:18:23,703 - [Reporter] While fans mourn, the son and daughter 1491 01:18:23,745 --> 01:18:27,040 of Johnny Cash prepare to send their father into the ages. 1492 01:18:27,082 --> 01:18:29,125 - While you probably may not be able to see it, 1493 01:18:29,167 --> 01:18:31,044 the flag is at half staff here 1494 01:18:31,086 --> 01:18:32,396 at the Country Music - We'll talk about the 1495 01:18:32,420 --> 01:18:33,898 - Hall of Fame. - Greatness of Johnny Cash. 1496 01:18:33,922 --> 01:18:35,107 - Some generations of country listeners 1497 01:18:35,131 --> 01:18:36,591 are indeed mourning his death today. 1498 01:18:36,633 --> 01:18:39,761 - [Reporter] It's a sad night overall in Music City. 1499 01:18:41,429 --> 01:18:44,808 - Mom called me every morning after Dad died. 1500 01:18:44,849 --> 01:18:47,435 The first time she called, she said, 1501 01:18:47,477 --> 01:18:50,397 "Even though I didn't see him or talk to him very often, 1502 01:18:50,438 --> 01:18:54,651 "just knowing he was on the planet was enough. 1503 01:18:54,693 --> 01:18:58,947 "But now that he's not, I don't know if I wanna be here." 1504 01:19:01,032 --> 01:19:03,076 - [Tara] To experience such a loss like that 1505 01:19:03,118 --> 01:19:05,453 and have the whole world see it, 1506 01:19:05,495 --> 01:19:08,498 i think that was really hard for her. 1507 01:19:08,540 --> 01:19:10,250 Really, really hard. 1508 01:19:12,961 --> 01:19:15,588 - A couple of months after Dad died, 1509 01:19:15,630 --> 01:19:20,468 and enormous memorial tribute was planned for the Ryman. 1510 01:19:20,510 --> 01:19:25,098 Everybody was there, from Tim Robbins, Sheryl Crow, 1511 01:19:25,140 --> 01:19:28,351 Willie Nelson, just an enormous line up. 1512 01:19:28,393 --> 01:19:31,104 (audience applauding) Mom wrote in her book 1513 01:19:31,146 --> 01:19:33,273 that people of the Nashville mind-set 1514 01:19:33,314 --> 01:19:36,234 preferred that she be written out of Dad's history 1515 01:19:36,276 --> 01:19:38,361 and that was pretty clear that day. 1516 01:19:38,403 --> 01:19:41,281 - [Announcer] He was a husband to his beloved June, 1517 01:19:41,322 --> 01:19:43,616 he was a father to a flock of children. 1518 01:19:43,658 --> 01:19:47,120 - Your mom also, Miss June Carter Cash 1519 01:19:47,162 --> 01:19:48,621 made me proud to be an American. 1520 01:19:48,663 --> 01:19:53,251 - They married with six beautiful daughters between 'em. 1521 01:19:53,293 --> 01:19:55,837 John's battles with his demons 1522 01:19:56,838 --> 01:19:59,507 would have ended a lesser love story. 1523 01:20:01,301 --> 01:20:03,428 - Mom sat through all of that. 1524 01:20:04,429 --> 01:20:07,474 I don't really know how she did it. 1525 01:20:07,515 --> 01:20:10,852 (audience applauding) 1526 01:20:11,811 --> 01:20:14,022 - Please welcome Rodney Crowell. 1527 01:20:14,064 --> 01:20:19,277 (audience applauding) - Thank you. 1528 01:20:20,195 --> 01:20:22,405 I wanna send this song to Vivian Distin. 1529 01:20:23,490 --> 01:20:26,201 Blessed Vivian, the grandmother of my daughters 1530 01:20:26,242 --> 01:20:29,621 and a woman I admire very much. 1531 01:20:29,662 --> 01:20:31,164 (suspenseful music) 1532 01:20:31,206 --> 01:20:32,999 - [Ann] It's not okay if they move forward 1533 01:20:33,041 --> 01:20:35,669 with the movie and just, if what they produce 1534 01:20:35,710 --> 01:20:37,962 is anything like that script, you know, 1535 01:20:38,004 --> 01:20:40,131 it's gonna be devastating. 1536 01:20:40,173 --> 01:20:41,841 You know, devastating to Vivian. 1537 01:20:41,883 --> 01:20:42,902 I mean, that's just not fair. 1538 01:20:42,926 --> 01:20:44,803 She's been through too much. 1539 01:20:44,844 --> 01:20:47,555 (ominous music) 1540 01:20:49,891 --> 01:20:52,268 - She hadn't been feeling good for three or four months. 1541 01:20:52,310 --> 01:20:54,104 She was having trouble breathing 1542 01:20:54,145 --> 01:20:57,023 and she said, "I keep dreaming about your dad. 1543 01:20:57,065 --> 01:20:58,900 "He's sitting in a chair in my bedroom 1544 01:20:58,942 --> 01:21:01,277 "and he just keeps going like this." 1545 01:21:02,904 --> 01:21:05,240 - (sighs) Well, my mom was diagnosed 1546 01:21:05,281 --> 01:21:08,868 with lung cancer the day before her birthday. 1547 01:21:08,910 --> 01:21:10,578 Her 71st birthday. 1548 01:21:11,746 --> 01:21:13,248 But it was treatable. 1549 01:21:13,289 --> 01:21:18,461 So I flew out and I went to her first consultation 1550 01:21:19,421 --> 01:21:22,132 after the diagnosis with the surgeon. 1551 01:21:22,173 --> 01:21:24,134 He was showing her the slides 1552 01:21:24,175 --> 01:21:27,053 and showing her what it was and where it was 1553 01:21:27,095 --> 01:21:28,805 and the kind it was. 1554 01:21:28,847 --> 01:21:32,726 - Then the doctor said, "I've done 3,500 of these surgeries. 1555 01:21:32,767 --> 01:21:33,977 "Never lost a patient. 1556 01:21:34,019 --> 01:21:36,479 "It's the easiest lung cancer to have. 1557 01:21:36,521 --> 01:21:39,190 "It's contained, it's just one little spot. 1558 01:21:39,232 --> 01:21:41,151 "We'll take it out, no big deal." 1559 01:21:41,192 --> 01:21:44,487 - So we all felt pretty calm that it was treatable. 1560 01:21:45,447 --> 01:21:47,407 - We decided as a family to take turns 1561 01:21:47,449 --> 01:21:51,411 to go one at a time to be with her 1562 01:21:51,453 --> 01:21:55,331 and I volunteered to be the first person to go. 1563 01:21:55,373 --> 01:21:57,917 So she went in the hospital, I don't know, 1564 01:21:57,959 --> 01:21:59,461 around May 19th. 1565 01:22:00,337 --> 01:22:01,755 - All of a sudden we get a call. 1566 01:22:01,796 --> 01:22:03,173 "Everything went great. 1567 01:22:03,214 --> 01:22:04,924 "Your mom's doing great. 1568 01:22:04,966 --> 01:22:07,344 "It was very small, we got it. 1569 01:22:07,385 --> 01:22:09,554 "She'll be going home tomorrow." 1570 01:22:09,596 --> 01:22:13,141 - Then I went in to see her and she didn't look good. 1571 01:22:13,183 --> 01:22:15,101 I thought, "Something's not right." 1572 01:22:15,143 --> 01:22:17,520 She was very, very bloated. 1573 01:22:18,480 --> 01:22:20,398 - Two hours later the phone rings. 1574 01:22:20,440 --> 01:22:21,941 "You need to get on a plane." 1575 01:22:21,983 --> 01:22:25,779 - She had edema that kept getting worse. 1576 01:22:25,820 --> 01:22:29,949 She had swelling, her lungs were filling with fluid 1577 01:22:29,991 --> 01:22:31,743 and they were going to have to put her 1578 01:22:31,785 --> 01:22:36,831 in an induced coma in order to treat her and bring it down. 1579 01:22:37,749 --> 01:22:40,794 - When I left, she was in ICU and I kissed her 1580 01:22:40,835 --> 01:22:45,882 and she said, "One more," as I was walking away 1581 01:22:45,924 --> 01:22:46,883 and I said, "One more what?" 1582 01:22:46,925 --> 01:22:48,385 And she said, "Kiss." 1583 01:22:49,678 --> 01:22:52,097 And so I went back and I kissed her on the forehead. 1584 01:22:53,848 --> 01:22:55,850 - Then they put her in a coma. 1585 01:22:55,892 --> 01:22:59,729 So I'm staying in touch with the nurse. 1586 01:22:59,771 --> 01:23:02,774 Calling, you know, a couple times a day 1587 01:23:02,816 --> 01:23:04,859 to find out how it's going. 1588 01:23:04,901 --> 01:23:09,322 On about the 21st, he said, 1589 01:23:09,364 --> 01:23:11,533 "She's just not doing well." 1590 01:23:12,701 --> 01:23:15,704 And I said, like I didn't know how serious it was, 1591 01:23:15,745 --> 01:23:17,372 I said, "Should I come out there?" 1592 01:23:17,414 --> 01:23:20,041 He said, "If it was my mom, I'd come out." 1593 01:23:21,126 --> 01:23:24,421 And so I went out there on the 21st. 1594 01:23:25,422 --> 01:23:30,593 22nd we really knew she was gonna die. 1595 01:23:31,344 --> 01:23:34,597 And my birthday is May 24th 1596 01:23:34,639 --> 01:23:38,059 and I thought, "She can't die on my birthday. 1597 01:23:38,101 --> 01:23:39,728 "She just can't do it." 1598 01:23:42,105 --> 01:23:44,065 And then she died on my birthday. 1599 01:23:44,774 --> 01:23:47,444 (somber music) 1600 01:23:51,364 --> 01:23:53,533 I was in the room when she died. 1601 01:23:53,575 --> 01:23:57,162 And I was standing at the foot of the bed. 1602 01:23:57,203 --> 01:24:01,791 And I saw her 1603 01:24:02,834 --> 01:24:04,085 leave her body. 1604 01:24:05,086 --> 01:24:06,504 And I saw her 1605 01:24:09,382 --> 01:24:11,343 become a child. 1606 01:24:12,427 --> 01:24:15,305 She was only about four or five years old 1607 01:24:15,347 --> 01:24:17,390 and she started laughing. 1608 01:24:17,432 --> 01:24:19,351 She was so happy. 1609 01:24:20,935 --> 01:24:25,231 And it was a comfort, you know. 1610 01:24:25,273 --> 01:24:27,734 Like, wow. 1611 01:24:27,776 --> 01:24:30,153 She's really free. 1612 01:24:30,195 --> 01:24:35,408 Like all of that torment she suffered 1613 01:24:36,576 --> 01:24:40,455 from losing my dad, from the various humiliations she had 1614 01:24:41,247 --> 01:24:44,793 and grief, just grief, 1615 01:24:44,834 --> 01:24:47,420 and the resentment, all of it, you know. 1616 01:24:47,462 --> 01:24:52,258 It's like, phew, man, taking off a suit of armor 1617 01:24:52,300 --> 01:24:53,802 and becoming a child again. 1618 01:24:56,638 --> 01:24:57,948 You know, and then we found out later 1619 01:24:57,972 --> 01:24:59,391 it was a medical error. 1620 01:24:59,432 --> 01:25:00,809 She shouldn't have died. 1621 01:25:03,561 --> 01:25:06,022 They had given her too much fluid in the operating room. 1622 01:25:06,064 --> 01:25:09,651 Too much intravenous fluid. 1623 01:25:13,154 --> 01:25:14,656 - I was in shock. 1624 01:25:14,698 --> 01:25:15,615 I really was. 1625 01:25:15,657 --> 01:25:17,534 I think I really went into shock. 1626 01:25:17,575 --> 01:25:20,161 I remember getting really upset about something 1627 01:25:20,203 --> 01:25:21,955 and Rosanne took me outside and said, 1628 01:25:21,996 --> 01:25:24,124 "Cindy, you need to calm down." 1629 01:25:24,165 --> 01:25:26,292 And I said, "It's my mother! 1630 01:25:27,252 --> 01:25:28,837 "I can't lose my mother." 1631 01:25:31,381 --> 01:25:32,966 - [Photographer] Joaquin, up top please. 1632 01:25:33,008 --> 01:25:35,802 - And then the movie about my dad came out 1633 01:25:35,844 --> 01:25:39,264 later that year in the fall and I thought, 1634 01:25:39,305 --> 01:25:42,350 "Damn, she wanted to get out before that movie came out. 1635 01:25:42,392 --> 01:25:44,060 "She couldn't have taken it." 1636 01:25:44,102 --> 01:25:47,147 It just would have killed her, 1637 01:25:47,188 --> 01:25:49,941 that kind of notoriety and... 1638 01:25:49,983 --> 01:25:51,192 Well, it did kill her. 1639 01:25:51,234 --> 01:25:53,361 She wanted to leave before it came out. 1640 01:25:53,403 --> 01:25:54,863 I knew that. 1641 01:25:54,904 --> 01:25:59,117 And, you know, kindly, they showed us the film 1642 01:25:59,159 --> 01:26:02,328 before it came out and then I left for Paris. 1643 01:26:02,370 --> 01:26:05,457 It's like, I don't wanna be around for this. 1644 01:26:11,629 --> 01:26:14,591 - Unfortunately the book didn't get any press. 1645 01:26:15,717 --> 01:26:18,636 Most anyone I've talked to never even knew she wrote it. 1646 01:26:18,678 --> 01:26:20,513 And that's really sad to me. 1647 01:26:20,555 --> 01:26:24,601 I wish that we could do something and make her come to life. 1648 01:26:24,642 --> 01:26:28,480 And you guys doing this is just, 1649 01:26:28,521 --> 01:26:29,981 it makes me so happy. 1650 01:26:32,734 --> 01:26:35,612 - I have a lot of cherished memories with my mom. 1651 01:26:36,571 --> 01:26:39,324 - You know, she was a great friend. 1652 01:26:39,366 --> 01:26:41,326 She loved fiercely. 1653 01:26:41,368 --> 01:26:42,702 She was very disciplined. 1654 01:26:42,744 --> 01:26:45,538 I got a ton of my discipline from her. 1655 01:26:45,580 --> 01:26:50,752 She was tenacious and she was creative. 1656 01:26:51,753 --> 01:26:53,380 - She did a little bit of everything. 1657 01:26:53,421 --> 01:26:57,092 Anything that was creative, she tried it or did it. 1658 01:26:58,051 --> 01:26:59,737 You know, as long as she was doing something 1659 01:26:59,761 --> 01:27:04,349 where she felt useful, that was important to her. 1660 01:27:05,266 --> 01:27:07,185 - She was an amazing woman 1661 01:27:07,227 --> 01:27:12,148 with so many talents and such a thirst for life. 1662 01:27:12,190 --> 01:27:14,693 And you know, 1663 01:27:14,734 --> 01:27:17,070 I think that's what pulled her through 1664 01:27:17,112 --> 01:27:21,574 all of the hard things that she had to go through. 1665 01:27:23,618 --> 01:27:25,054 - I don't think the music had anything 1666 01:27:25,078 --> 01:27:26,371 to do with it, really. 1667 01:27:27,539 --> 01:27:32,085 I think the fast life and pace in California, 1668 01:27:32,127 --> 01:27:33,545 when we moved to California, 1669 01:27:33,586 --> 01:27:35,064 all the problems really started, and... 1670 01:27:35,088 --> 01:27:38,216 I think everybody's aware of what problems. 1671 01:27:38,258 --> 01:27:43,013 The pills and from there 1672 01:27:43,054 --> 01:27:44,514 it was downhill. 1673 01:27:45,890 --> 01:27:49,394 But the first few years, we had a very good relationship. 1674 01:27:49,436 --> 01:27:52,355 And I'm happy about that because all the children 1675 01:27:53,773 --> 01:27:56,776 hopefully have some good memories. 1676 01:27:56,818 --> 01:27:57,944 (chuckling) 1677 01:27:57,986 --> 01:28:00,613 (light music) 1678 01:28:53,667 --> 01:28:56,878 (suspenseful music)