1 00:00:25,442 --> 00:00:27,402 Where is my money? 2 00:00:27,986 --> 00:00:29,029 Grandma? 3 00:00:29,112 --> 00:00:30,572 Yeah, uh… 4 00:00:31,573 --> 00:00:35,493 Let me just start by saying I am as mad about this as you are. 5 00:00:35,577 --> 00:00:38,788 I knew it. You stole from me. My own daughter. 6 00:00:38,872 --> 00:00:41,875 No, um, not me. 7 00:00:41,958 --> 00:00:44,294 I mean, well, yes, me, 8 00:00:44,377 --> 00:00:47,088 but, uh, I'm not even me right now, 9 00:00:47,172 --> 00:00:49,674 and it wasn't even technically me, Nora. 10 00:00:49,758 --> 00:00:52,302 It was actually-- it was this guy, Chez, uh, 11 00:00:53,094 --> 00:00:54,095 Chez Carrera. 12 00:00:54,179 --> 00:00:57,891 Uh, and let me just say, this guy is really on my shitlist too, Grandma. 13 00:01:00,351 --> 00:01:01,603 Oh fuck. 14 00:01:02,645 --> 00:01:05,106 A little early in the morning for Hungarian, huh? 15 00:01:05,190 --> 00:01:07,442 Hmm? 16 00:01:07,525 --> 00:01:08,985 All right, let me guess. 17 00:01:09,069 --> 00:01:12,530 This is about how we were, um, Hungarians, 18 00:01:12,614 --> 00:01:16,034 uh, big shots, intellectuals, uh, 19 00:01:16,117 --> 00:01:18,828 then the Nazis came, stole everything, 20 00:01:18,912 --> 00:01:20,497 put it on a gold train. 21 00:01:20,580 --> 00:01:23,124 I know, I've heard it a million times before. 22 00:01:23,208 --> 00:01:25,752 Hey, I guess we're just cutting out the middle mom now, right? 23 00:01:30,173 --> 00:01:31,216 This and this. 24 00:01:32,342 --> 00:01:33,635 This junk. 25 00:01:33,718 --> 00:01:36,888 You do nothing but take and take. 26 00:01:37,514 --> 00:01:40,433 Those coins were the only security we had-- 27 00:01:40,517 --> 00:01:41,893 For when Hitler comes back. 28 00:01:41,976 --> 00:01:43,770 I know. I know. 29 00:01:43,853 --> 00:01:45,438 Regimes change, 30 00:01:46,022 --> 00:01:48,149 currencies become obsolete, 31 00:01:48,233 --> 00:01:49,984 only gold remains, yeah. 32 00:01:50,068 --> 00:01:52,403 We Vulvokovs exist in the sweet spot 33 00:01:52,487 --> 00:01:54,697 where paranoia meets hyperinflation. 34 00:01:57,951 --> 00:01:58,910 I've upset you. 35 00:01:58,993 --> 00:02:00,703 Uh, hmm. 36 00:02:01,704 --> 00:02:03,414 All right. Uh… 37 00:02:03,498 --> 00:02:08,711 Hey, what's Hungarian for, uh, "In the end, it's just money, 38 00:02:09,295 --> 00:02:10,797 we'll get through this together…" 39 00:02:11,339 --> 00:02:12,340 Oh! 40 00:02:12,423 --> 00:02:17,053 "…and the, uh, the baby is a chance for a new relationship"? 41 00:02:17,137 --> 00:02:18,930 You had no right. 42 00:02:19,013 --> 00:02:21,516 You cannot undo this. This is done. 43 00:02:22,100 --> 00:02:23,935 You know, for you, yes. 44 00:02:24,018 --> 00:02:27,355 For me, it's a little more loosey-goosey. 45 00:02:27,438 --> 00:02:28,982 What's that "loosey-goose"? 46 00:02:29,065 --> 00:02:30,024 Mmm. 47 00:02:30,108 --> 00:02:32,861 Well, you know, just to say that, uh, 48 00:02:32,944 --> 00:02:36,656 I'm on it, all right? I just need to find this motherfucker. 49 00:02:36,739 --> 00:02:38,408 Such a disappointment. 50 00:02:39,284 --> 00:02:40,994 All I went through. 51 00:02:41,077 --> 00:02:43,246 You wouldn't have made it out alive. 52 00:02:43,329 --> 00:02:44,164 My God. 53 00:02:45,248 --> 00:02:48,126 That is a fucked up thing to say to your daughter, huh? 54 00:02:48,751 --> 00:02:50,003 Ah… 55 00:02:50,587 --> 00:02:52,630 You know what? Fuck all this. I was trying to be nice, 56 00:02:52,714 --> 00:02:55,175 but let's not pussyfoot around the sick dynamics going on here. 57 00:02:55,258 --> 00:02:59,846 You lorded that money over her head her entire fucking life, yeah? 58 00:02:59,929 --> 00:03:01,890 Meantime, she cast you as the evil puppet-master 59 00:03:01,973 --> 00:03:03,808 with herself as the victim head case. 60 00:03:03,892 --> 00:03:07,187 Cut to the end of the story, it was meant to be my inheritance anyway. 61 00:03:07,270 --> 00:03:12,483 Ipso facto, it's mine, conventionally, and by proxy, huh? 62 00:03:12,567 --> 00:03:15,695 Not yours, not Mom's, mines. 63 00:03:16,863 --> 00:03:17,822 Sorry to be a cunt. 64 00:03:17,906 --> 00:03:20,909 Why are you talking like this? Cunt and fuck? 65 00:03:21,784 --> 00:03:22,911 Noraleh… 66 00:03:24,078 --> 00:03:24,913 …wait. 67 00:03:25,663 --> 00:03:26,539 Don't go. 68 00:03:27,624 --> 00:03:28,791 This… 69 00:03:28,875 --> 00:03:30,084 this is fucked. 70 00:03:33,588 --> 00:03:34,881 You know what, Vera? 71 00:03:34,964 --> 00:03:36,132 I love you. 72 00:03:37,217 --> 00:03:40,762 All this aside, it was great to see ya. 73 00:03:41,429 --> 00:03:42,388 Seriously. 74 00:03:43,306 --> 00:03:44,557 Peace out, all right? 75 00:03:46,643 --> 00:03:50,104 How the fuck does anyone find anyone without the Internet around here? 76 00:03:51,231 --> 00:03:53,066 -Good morning. -Good morning. 77 00:03:54,108 --> 00:03:55,401 Touché, paper. 78 00:03:57,362 --> 00:03:58,488 Terrific. 79 00:03:59,364 --> 00:04:01,449 Okay, let's see. 80 00:04:02,200 --> 00:04:04,535 For Carrera. 81 00:04:04,619 --> 00:04:05,578 Carrera… 82 00:04:06,079 --> 00:04:07,080 Chezare… 83 00:04:08,331 --> 00:04:10,792 Does this motherfucker even exist? 84 00:04:12,168 --> 00:04:14,254 Too cold for this shit. 85 00:04:15,255 --> 00:04:16,589 You're coming with me. 86 00:04:17,715 --> 00:04:19,467 His name is Chezare Carrera. 87 00:04:19,550 --> 00:04:21,261 - Chezare Carrera? -Yeah. 88 00:04:21,344 --> 00:04:25,515 Uh, incidentally, not the father of this baby. 89 00:04:25,598 --> 00:04:29,310 Uh, also, not in the phone book. But so many Campbells. 90 00:04:29,394 --> 00:04:30,937 A lot of Campbells. Anything else? 91 00:04:31,020 --> 00:04:32,981 Do you know where he works? Does he have a job? 92 00:04:33,064 --> 00:04:36,234 -Does he have a family? What's up? -Uh, I think he works robbing me. 93 00:04:38,236 --> 00:04:40,989 Uh, I'm not sure you understand exactly what it is we do here. 94 00:04:41,072 --> 00:04:42,532 Well, I don't need to. 95 00:04:42,615 --> 00:04:45,743 Uh, do you know what a-- a Krugerrand is? 96 00:04:45,827 --> 00:04:48,162 -I definitely don't, ma'am. -Yeah, it's pretty obscure. 97 00:04:48,246 --> 00:04:50,623 Uh, it's a South African gold bullion. 98 00:04:50,707 --> 00:04:54,252 Well, on average, you're looking at roughly $1800 an ounce. 99 00:04:54,335 --> 00:04:56,504 Now granted, those are millennial prices, 100 00:04:56,587 --> 00:04:58,464 but I don't want us to get off track here, Derek. 101 00:04:58,548 --> 00:05:00,383 Cool. I'm still not sure where this is going. 102 00:05:00,466 --> 00:05:02,176 My grandparents were holocaust survivors. 103 00:05:02,260 --> 00:05:03,594 Wow, okay. I'm sorry to hear that. 104 00:05:03,678 --> 00:05:05,305 -Well, that's not on you. -I know. 105 00:05:05,388 --> 00:05:07,390 So anyway, after the war, 106 00:05:07,473 --> 00:05:11,227 a lot of survivors became paranoid about putting their money in banks. 107 00:05:12,145 --> 00:05:13,896 My grandmother, however, 108 00:05:13,980 --> 00:05:18,234 well, she-- she acquired 150 of these bad boys. 109 00:05:18,318 --> 00:05:21,070 -How much money are we talking? -Ah, great question. 110 00:05:21,154 --> 00:05:23,865 Now, you see, the price of gold, it fluctuates, right? 111 00:05:23,948 --> 00:05:26,284 So, on average, on a given day, 112 00:05:26,367 --> 00:05:28,077 uh, last time I checked, 113 00:05:28,161 --> 00:05:31,581 $280,451.21. 114 00:05:31,664 --> 00:05:33,041 Shit. 115 00:05:33,124 --> 00:05:35,251 -Oh that's big money. Okay. -Oh yeah, big money. 116 00:05:35,335 --> 00:05:37,879 It would've been my college tuition and probably a racehorse. 117 00:05:37,962 --> 00:05:41,132 -So anyway, you can see my predicament. -Yeah, I can see that. 118 00:05:41,215 --> 00:05:43,009 Let me take everything you know about him, 119 00:05:43,092 --> 00:05:45,219 and, uh, give me two or three weeks to track him down. 120 00:05:47,638 --> 00:05:50,058 -Two to three weeks? -You know somebody who can do it faster? 121 00:05:50,141 --> 00:05:54,062 Oh, well, not someone, somewhen. 122 00:05:54,145 --> 00:05:57,023 Uh, I got a little tool called the World Wide Web. 123 00:05:57,106 --> 00:05:58,316 That sounds nefarious. 124 00:05:58,399 --> 00:05:59,901 Oh, you have no idea. 125 00:06:00,485 --> 00:06:02,779 Anyway, uh, we tried. 126 00:06:02,862 --> 00:06:04,530 Thank you so much. 127 00:06:04,614 --> 00:06:06,199 -Keep the phone book. -Sure. 128 00:06:06,282 --> 00:06:07,825 Yeah, I can't take it where I'm going. 129 00:06:07,909 --> 00:06:09,869 Well, shouldn't carry much anyway. 130 00:06:09,952 --> 00:06:11,329 -Yeah. -Watch yourself getting out. 131 00:06:11,412 --> 00:06:13,039 -Oh sure. Thanks. -Here you go. 132 00:06:13,122 --> 00:06:15,666 -Careful. Coming through. -You be careful getting upstairs. 133 00:06:15,750 --> 00:06:18,419 -All right. Adios. -Have a good night. Get home safe. 134 00:06:19,837 --> 00:06:20,922 Weird-ass person. 135 00:06:21,756 --> 00:06:22,757 Lot of problems. 136 00:06:30,723 --> 00:06:32,308 Ah, what do we got here? 137 00:06:33,184 --> 00:06:35,186 All right, I'm coming. I'm coming, assholes. 138 00:06:36,396 --> 00:06:39,232 Jesus. Why don't these fuckers give me time? 139 00:06:40,358 --> 00:06:43,611 Hey. Okay, bada-bing. 140 00:06:45,613 --> 00:06:48,825 I'm working on a new piece in which I give my audience a knife 141 00:06:48,908 --> 00:06:51,327 and I dare them to divide my body up into zones. 142 00:06:51,411 --> 00:06:53,496 It's called "The 38th Parallel." 143 00:06:53,579 --> 00:06:54,705 Splendid. 144 00:06:54,789 --> 00:06:55,665 Oh, thank you. 145 00:06:55,748 --> 00:06:56,874 White meat or dark meat? 146 00:06:56,958 --> 00:06:59,127 Oh, you girls go ahead. 147 00:06:59,210 --> 00:07:01,671 Max thinks borders are an oppressive delusion, 148 00:07:01,754 --> 00:07:02,922 like the stock market. 149 00:07:03,005 --> 00:07:06,634 No, we've always needed boundaries 150 00:07:06,717 --> 00:07:10,972 to understand where we end and others begin. 151 00:07:11,055 --> 00:07:13,683 It's not always splitting the baby. 152 00:07:13,766 --> 00:07:15,893 But when it comes to the Korean War, I am the baby. 153 00:07:15,977 --> 00:07:17,103 Mmm. 154 00:07:17,186 --> 00:07:18,896 Ruthie! Back on top. 155 00:07:18,980 --> 00:07:21,607 Uh, I'm so sorry that I did not make it back last night. 156 00:07:21,691 --> 00:07:25,069 Crazy, crazy next-level shit went down. 157 00:07:25,153 --> 00:07:26,154 Found the Valium. 158 00:07:26,737 --> 00:07:28,489 Oh, thank you. 159 00:07:28,573 --> 00:07:30,158 Thank you so much. 160 00:07:30,241 --> 00:07:32,493 Now look, I'm just gonna go lie down for a bit. 161 00:07:32,577 --> 00:07:35,246 You just leave the dishes. 162 00:07:35,329 --> 00:07:37,790 -Come on, I'll help you upstairs. -Oh, bless you. 163 00:07:38,374 --> 00:07:40,460 Thank-- 164 00:07:40,543 --> 00:07:42,378 -Ruthie. -Thank you. 165 00:07:42,462 --> 00:07:45,381 -Are you okay? -I'm fine. I'm okay. I'm okay. 166 00:07:45,465 --> 00:07:47,258 You have to be careful with this stuff. 167 00:07:47,341 --> 00:07:48,926 Betty Ford was addicted to it. 168 00:07:49,010 --> 00:07:51,971 Yeah, as was every other woman in suburbia. 169 00:07:52,472 --> 00:07:54,682 -And listen, as you know, I treated them. -Oh yeah? 170 00:07:54,765 --> 00:07:56,893 -Where were you? -Who did you treat? 171 00:07:56,976 --> 00:07:57,894 Ah! 172 00:07:57,977 --> 00:07:58,895 Uh… 173 00:07:59,562 --> 00:08:02,815 Would you believe me if I said I picked up this guy at the Public Enemy 174 00:08:02,899 --> 00:08:05,026 and ended up almost fucking my dead mother's boyfriend? 175 00:08:05,109 --> 00:08:07,236 Yes, I would. That's kind of the issue. 176 00:08:07,737 --> 00:08:09,155 -Nemo… 177 00:08:09,238 --> 00:08:11,532 …the doctors were very concerned. 178 00:08:11,616 --> 00:08:13,159 They found a lump in her neck. 179 00:08:13,242 --> 00:08:16,245 They did a fine-needle aspiration and a chest X-ray. 180 00:08:18,206 --> 00:08:21,334 And it's a little weird, no? You chasing Ruth's ambulance? 181 00:08:21,417 --> 00:08:24,837 Fetishizing death is not incompatible with genuinely caring. 182 00:08:25,421 --> 00:08:27,048 I know this is difficult. 183 00:08:27,131 --> 00:08:30,092 I did six months as a puppeteer in hospice. 184 00:08:30,176 --> 00:08:32,136 She's not dying, Maxine. 185 00:08:32,762 --> 00:08:36,057 Anyway, soon, I'll be able to afford all the best doctors 186 00:08:36,140 --> 00:08:38,226 and all the classiest X-rays. 187 00:08:38,309 --> 00:08:39,894 I mean, I love Ruth. She knows that. 188 00:08:40,478 --> 00:08:41,312 Okay. 189 00:08:41,395 --> 00:08:42,438 Mm-hmm. 190 00:08:59,288 --> 00:09:00,122 Huh. 191 00:09:00,915 --> 00:09:02,250 The Bronx, baby. 192 00:09:03,918 --> 00:09:05,628 -Open up. 193 00:09:05,711 --> 00:09:06,712 Hey. Hello. 194 00:09:07,296 --> 00:09:09,006 You're two hours past your window. 195 00:09:11,717 --> 00:09:12,718 You're not the cable guy. 196 00:09:12,802 --> 00:09:15,054 Ring-a-ding-a-ling-a-bell? 197 00:09:15,137 --> 00:09:16,097 Yeah. 198 00:09:16,180 --> 00:09:18,182 Google and I did a deep dive on you. 199 00:09:18,266 --> 00:09:19,850 -What? -Excuse me. 200 00:09:19,934 --> 00:09:21,894 -Ex-- What? -Coming through. Choo-choo. 201 00:09:22,895 --> 00:09:24,522 Aye. Yeah. 202 00:09:26,482 --> 00:09:29,026 Excuse me. What can I do for you? 203 00:09:29,110 --> 00:09:33,197 Besides screwing me and my dead mother, both of which you've already done? 204 00:09:33,281 --> 00:09:34,407 What? 205 00:09:34,490 --> 00:09:37,285 If you're trying to remember, her name was Nora. 206 00:09:39,996 --> 00:09:40,830 Nadia? 207 00:09:40,913 --> 00:09:42,248 Ah-ha! 208 00:09:43,583 --> 00:09:46,419 Oh, wow. Of course I remember. 209 00:09:47,962 --> 00:09:49,463 Nora was a good person. 210 00:09:50,298 --> 00:09:51,549 We had a good run. 211 00:09:51,632 --> 00:09:54,385 Oh yeah. Yeah, a great run. 212 00:09:54,468 --> 00:09:57,513 And at the finish line, I got the medal, right? 213 00:09:58,347 --> 00:09:59,599 But only one. 214 00:10:00,600 --> 00:10:02,059 This is about the gold? 215 00:10:03,436 --> 00:10:06,480 Oh my God, kid, look around. 216 00:10:06,564 --> 00:10:08,232 I haven't got your money. 217 00:10:08,316 --> 00:10:11,319 I'm not exactly, uh, King Midas. 218 00:10:11,902 --> 00:10:15,656 You know, if I was you, I would drop the whole thing. 219 00:10:16,240 --> 00:10:17,074 Really. 220 00:10:17,158 --> 00:10:21,579 Uh, look, man, I didn't really come here to have the thief 221 00:10:21,662 --> 00:10:24,665 give me advice on getting back my family inheritance. 222 00:10:24,749 --> 00:10:28,002 No, what I mean is, it's a Coney Island. 223 00:10:28,085 --> 00:10:30,630 What do you mean? The last stop on the D train? 224 00:10:30,713 --> 00:10:33,424 In our house, a Coney Island 225 00:10:33,507 --> 00:10:36,218 is the thing that would've made everything better, 226 00:10:36,302 --> 00:10:38,220 if only it had happened, 227 00:10:38,304 --> 00:10:39,555 or didn't happen. 228 00:10:40,556 --> 00:10:42,391 My father couldn't work. 229 00:10:42,475 --> 00:10:45,561 He got sick with polio and wound up in an iron lung. 230 00:10:46,687 --> 00:10:49,273 Now, if only he hadn't gone to Coney Island that summer, 231 00:10:49,357 --> 00:10:51,275 he wouldn't have gotten the airborne polio. 232 00:10:51,359 --> 00:10:52,818 But he did. 233 00:10:52,902 --> 00:10:53,986 It's a fantasy. 234 00:10:55,112 --> 00:10:56,280 It's an "if only." 235 00:10:57,657 --> 00:10:59,825 Your mom and me and the gold… 236 00:11:01,744 --> 00:11:03,120 it was all a Coney Island. 237 00:11:03,621 --> 00:11:04,455 Hmm. 238 00:11:05,581 --> 00:11:06,415 Wow. 239 00:11:07,083 --> 00:11:09,126 That's a lovely story, 240 00:11:09,210 --> 00:11:11,712 and I'm sorry to hear about all that polio. 241 00:11:14,048 --> 00:11:16,384 But now, I'm done playing footsie. 242 00:11:16,467 --> 00:11:20,846 What I wanna know is, where you went after you stole the gold. 243 00:11:20,930 --> 00:11:22,431 Specifics, please. 244 00:11:22,515 --> 00:11:24,934 Jesus Christ. I'm trying to be a decent person. 245 00:11:25,017 --> 00:11:25,851 Bullshit. 246 00:11:25,935 --> 00:11:28,145 If she'd wanted you to know, she would've told ya. 247 00:11:28,896 --> 00:11:29,814 Okay? 248 00:11:30,314 --> 00:11:32,650 May I ask you something about your mom? 249 00:11:33,776 --> 00:11:35,111 She ever move away? 250 00:11:36,028 --> 00:11:37,947 She ever get to be her own person? 251 00:11:38,030 --> 00:11:40,574 You know, that was her-- That was her thing. 252 00:11:47,123 --> 00:11:48,416 Oh, you like squash? 253 00:11:49,417 --> 00:11:53,254 I was the, uh, Bowery Rec Center champion three years in a row. 254 00:11:54,380 --> 00:11:56,048 I'm a little rusty, but, uh… 255 00:11:57,925 --> 00:12:00,136 I still got quads like a stallion. 256 00:12:01,262 --> 00:12:02,722 -Yeah? -Yeah. 257 00:12:02,805 --> 00:12:05,683 Legs are the bicycles on the ride of life. 258 00:12:09,103 --> 00:12:10,813 Thanks a lot, Chezare. 259 00:12:11,397 --> 00:12:12,857 A real dirtbag, huh? 260 00:12:13,399 --> 00:12:14,817 Real fucking dirtbag. 261 00:12:15,484 --> 00:12:16,402 It's nice to see you. 262 00:12:31,417 --> 00:12:33,043 This is downtown local 6 train 263 00:12:33,127 --> 00:12:35,296 to Brooklyn Bridge approaching the station. 264 00:12:38,090 --> 00:12:39,467 Next stop, Astor Place. 265 00:12:40,301 --> 00:12:41,552 Membership card? 266 00:12:41,635 --> 00:12:42,470 Oh. 267 00:12:42,970 --> 00:12:47,808 Oh, would you let, uh, Mr. Lincoln exercise here? 268 00:12:47,892 --> 00:12:50,895 You can get a day pass for $3.75. 269 00:12:50,978 --> 00:12:53,063 Okay, great. Can I get one of those then, please? 270 00:12:56,942 --> 00:12:59,069 Oh man! 271 00:12:59,153 --> 00:12:59,987 Oh. 272 00:13:00,070 --> 00:13:03,199 -Uh, hello. Good morning, everyone, uh-- -We're in the middle of a game. 273 00:13:03,282 --> 00:13:06,827 Uh, do you guys know, uh, Chez Carrera? 274 00:13:06,911 --> 00:13:08,287 You one of Chez's girls? 275 00:13:08,370 --> 00:13:10,623 Well, sure. Yes. Very cool. 276 00:13:10,706 --> 00:13:11,749 He'll turn up. 277 00:13:11,832 --> 00:13:13,167 He put a bun in that oven? 278 00:13:14,960 --> 00:13:18,005 Oh, wow, so you guys just really don't know how sperm work, huh? 279 00:13:18,088 --> 00:13:19,173 What are you talking about? 280 00:13:19,256 --> 00:13:21,842 Men don't make women pregnant, sperm are weak. 281 00:13:21,926 --> 00:13:26,180 They only get the job done when the egg beams them up to the Federation Starship 282 00:13:26,263 --> 00:13:28,557 and then you make a baby. Uh-- 283 00:13:29,141 --> 00:13:33,729 What would you guys know with your tight little 1982 gym shorts? 284 00:13:33,813 --> 00:13:37,191 Really, it's a little titty twister, but for dicks, huh? 285 00:13:37,274 --> 00:13:39,693 Okay, haven't had coffee yet. Good day to you. 286 00:13:39,777 --> 00:13:41,821 -It must be fun, man. 287 00:13:42,613 --> 00:13:44,156 Chez is into some shit. 288 00:13:47,368 --> 00:13:49,286 Hey, Allison. How you doing? 289 00:13:50,412 --> 00:13:51,288 Still me. 290 00:13:55,835 --> 00:13:57,253 Don't sell my autograph. 291 00:14:16,146 --> 00:14:17,898 Hey, knock-knock, you little bitch. 292 00:14:17,982 --> 00:14:19,358 Jesus, Nora. 293 00:14:20,067 --> 00:14:22,069 You can't be in here. 294 00:14:22,152 --> 00:14:26,282 Well, you see, I may look like Nora, but I don't play games. 295 00:14:26,365 --> 00:14:28,367 Just last night, I murdered a rock, 296 00:14:28,450 --> 00:14:30,661 I injured a stone, I hospitalized a brick. 297 00:14:30,744 --> 00:14:32,621 I'm so mean I make medicine sick. 298 00:14:32,705 --> 00:14:33,664 Okay. 299 00:14:33,747 --> 00:14:36,375 Uh, you're Muhammad Ali now? 300 00:14:36,458 --> 00:14:38,419 Last night, I got in bed, the lights were still on, 301 00:14:38,502 --> 00:14:39,879 got back out of bed, hit the light, 302 00:14:39,962 --> 00:14:42,506 got back in bed before the light turned out. That's quick. 303 00:14:42,590 --> 00:14:43,966 I'm bad quick. 304 00:14:44,049 --> 00:14:46,093 And I fight Mr. Tooth Decay. 305 00:14:46,176 --> 00:14:48,387 So where are my fucking Krugerrands? 306 00:14:48,470 --> 00:14:51,515 Shh! What is going on with you? You're doing this again. 307 00:14:51,599 --> 00:14:54,018 -What do you mean, "again"? -You did this already. 308 00:14:54,101 --> 00:14:56,020 -Huh? -You got the money last night. 309 00:14:56,103 --> 00:15:00,649 Nora, you came over and got your money back last night. 310 00:15:00,733 --> 00:15:04,111 You got a little more than that, actually. 311 00:15:04,695 --> 00:15:06,030 I don't believe you. 312 00:15:06,113 --> 00:15:07,406 You're a liar, 313 00:15:07,489 --> 00:15:10,534 so you're even lying to me now, or you lied to me 40 years from now 314 00:15:10,618 --> 00:15:12,620 when you didn't tell me that Nora got the money back. 315 00:15:12,703 --> 00:15:15,122 What are you talking about, "40 years from now"? 316 00:15:15,205 --> 00:15:18,083 What's going on here? What happened to your face? 317 00:15:18,167 --> 00:15:19,418 You happened. 318 00:15:19,501 --> 00:15:20,628 Last night. 319 00:15:22,004 --> 00:15:23,088 I kind of enjoyed it. 320 00:15:23,672 --> 00:15:25,090 -Oh yeah? 321 00:15:25,174 --> 00:15:26,675 -Yeah. -What happened? 322 00:15:26,759 --> 00:15:28,886 What, you playing rubbing privates? Yeah? 323 00:15:28,969 --> 00:15:30,971 -Well, uh… -Yeah? 324 00:15:31,055 --> 00:15:31,972 Where's my money now? 325 00:15:32,056 --> 00:15:35,684 I gave you your money back last night. 326 00:15:36,810 --> 00:15:40,439 -What did you do with it? Where is it? -Uh, I don't know. 327 00:15:42,733 --> 00:15:44,443 Oh shit. 328 00:15:44,526 --> 00:15:46,737 -What? -Of course. She bought the car. 329 00:15:47,363 --> 00:15:49,281 -Are we still on for tonight? 330 00:15:49,365 --> 00:15:54,370 Uh, I hope not. But knowing my mom, then, you know, probably. 331 00:15:56,872 --> 00:16:00,960 Come on. Of course, yeah. 332 00:16:02,044 --> 00:16:02,878 Typical. 333 00:16:03,462 --> 00:16:04,797 Good old Alpha. 334 00:16:05,965 --> 00:16:07,508 Classic move, Mom. 335 00:16:09,551 --> 00:16:10,844 Sorry, Nora. 336 00:16:10,928 --> 00:16:14,431 It looks like Santa's gotta take your little Spider back to the North Pole. 337 00:16:16,392 --> 00:16:17,351 What the-- 338 00:16:17,434 --> 00:16:18,435 Hey. 339 00:16:18,519 --> 00:16:20,980 Whoa, whoa, whoa! That's my mom's stuff. 340 00:16:21,814 --> 00:16:25,067 Hey, sorry, lady, this is my-- my stuff. 341 00:16:25,776 --> 00:16:29,446 Your mother says no more paying for the apartment, the clothes. 342 00:16:29,530 --> 00:16:31,365 No more, just the baby. 343 00:16:31,448 --> 00:16:34,410 She'll take care of you because you are the mother of the baby. 344 00:16:34,493 --> 00:16:35,327 Huh? 345 00:16:35,411 --> 00:16:39,373 Oh, actually, the baby of the mother, but, uh, let's not get into it. 346 00:16:39,456 --> 00:16:41,208 Why did you steal this gold, Nora? 347 00:16:41,291 --> 00:16:43,043 It was so important to her. 348 00:16:43,127 --> 00:16:45,170 So much more than just coins. 349 00:16:45,254 --> 00:16:48,090 Look, man, I'm really sorry, you know? I'm trying to fix it. 350 00:16:48,173 --> 00:16:50,676 Your family had so much life in Budapest, 351 00:16:50,759 --> 00:16:52,302 and then one day, 352 00:16:52,386 --> 00:16:54,221 poof, nothing. 353 00:16:54,304 --> 00:16:55,305 No one left. 354 00:16:55,848 --> 00:16:58,892 But you show her survival no respect. 355 00:16:59,476 --> 00:17:00,436 Look, uh… 356 00:17:01,520 --> 00:17:04,690 of course I respect my grandmother survived. 357 00:17:04,773 --> 00:17:07,443 Why do you disgrace this enchantment? 358 00:17:08,110 --> 00:17:11,947 Oh my God, Jesus Christ. I mean, what is this, the occult? 359 00:17:12,031 --> 00:17:14,658 We're Ashkenazi Jews, not wizards. 360 00:17:14,742 --> 00:17:17,619 Yes, uh, this is translation problem. 361 00:17:17,703 --> 00:17:19,204 Not enchantment. 362 00:17:19,288 --> 00:17:20,372 Miracle. 363 00:17:20,956 --> 00:17:23,959 An impossible thing happened to Vera, and you stole it. 364 00:17:24,043 --> 00:17:25,377 What impossible thing? 365 00:17:25,461 --> 00:17:26,670 Nora. 366 00:17:26,754 --> 00:17:27,588 Ugh, Ruth. 367 00:17:28,881 --> 00:17:31,300 Ruth? Uh-- 368 00:17:31,383 --> 00:17:33,135 Holy shit, Ruthie. 369 00:17:33,218 --> 00:17:35,971 Look at this. Eat your heart out, Melanie Griffith. 370 00:17:36,055 --> 00:17:39,183 Okay, stop. I've been trying to track you down all day. 371 00:17:39,266 --> 00:17:41,060 I'm-- I'm right here. 372 00:17:41,143 --> 00:17:42,478 I tried to pay her off, but… 373 00:17:42,561 --> 00:17:44,897 -I don't come cheap. -Delia. 374 00:17:44,980 --> 00:17:45,939 Mm-hmm. 375 00:17:46,023 --> 00:17:48,192 -How are you? -I mean… 376 00:17:48,859 --> 00:17:51,195 -A widow has to worry about you. -A widow? 377 00:17:51,278 --> 00:17:53,572 She has her own problems, 378 00:17:53,655 --> 00:17:56,700 and she's running to the phone every five minutes to find you. 379 00:17:56,784 --> 00:17:58,327 It's okay, Delia. 380 00:17:58,410 --> 00:17:59,620 Keeps me on my toes. 381 00:18:00,412 --> 00:18:01,246 I don't mind. 382 00:18:02,289 --> 00:18:04,458 Uh, you know how to drive stick? 383 00:18:04,541 --> 00:18:06,418 Do I know how to drive stick? 384 00:18:07,002 --> 00:18:08,587 Okay. Yeah. 385 00:18:09,129 --> 00:18:11,215 Sounds like a yes, okay? 386 00:18:11,840 --> 00:18:14,510 Look, yeah, really, you're gonna have so many husbands. 387 00:18:14,593 --> 00:18:16,220 Nora, I'm mourning. 388 00:18:16,303 --> 00:18:18,889 God, you really were a great driver, Ruthie. 389 00:18:18,972 --> 00:18:21,767 -What? -I said, it's good to see you smile. 390 00:18:28,774 --> 00:18:31,527 -Oh God, this car is fun to drive. -Yeah. 391 00:18:31,610 --> 00:18:33,987 And you are absolutely right to return it. 392 00:18:34,071 --> 00:18:36,698 It's the responsible thing to do. I am proud of you. 393 00:18:36,782 --> 00:18:37,991 -Ah! 394 00:18:38,075 --> 00:18:39,743 Can I ask you a question, Ruthie? 395 00:18:39,827 --> 00:18:43,789 Uh, what is wrong with my mom? 396 00:18:43,872 --> 00:18:45,499 -Your mom? -Yeah. 397 00:18:45,582 --> 00:18:48,627 Um, she went through stuff we can't even imagine. 398 00:18:48,710 --> 00:18:49,711 Auschwitz. 399 00:18:50,254 --> 00:18:52,548 I don't think we'll ever get inside her head. 400 00:18:52,631 --> 00:18:54,508 Or she was born that way. 401 00:18:54,591 --> 00:18:57,553 Nature versus nurture. But can we stop talking about this? 402 00:18:57,636 --> 00:19:00,013 I don't love yelling "Auschwitz" in a car dealership. 403 00:19:00,097 --> 00:19:01,682 Well, who does? 404 00:19:02,558 --> 00:19:04,643 You know, tell you what it actually is. 405 00:19:05,519 --> 00:19:06,478 Epigenetics. 406 00:19:07,396 --> 00:19:11,024 Yeah. Nature versus nurture doesn't exist. 407 00:19:11,108 --> 00:19:12,818 You know who came up with that scam? 408 00:19:12,901 --> 00:19:14,611 Francis Galton, 409 00:19:14,695 --> 00:19:17,030 the founder of eugenics. 410 00:19:17,656 --> 00:19:19,158 -What? -Eugenics. 411 00:19:19,241 --> 00:19:20,492 Nora. 412 00:19:21,785 --> 00:19:24,329 Look at you, sprightly little thing. 413 00:19:24,413 --> 00:19:25,956 You look so gorgeous. 414 00:19:26,039 --> 00:19:29,501 Look at this. Turns out I'm the Norm of this, uh, Cheers. 415 00:19:30,544 --> 00:19:31,378 Eh. 416 00:19:32,713 --> 00:19:34,298 Okay, nothing. Too soon. 417 00:19:34,381 --> 00:19:37,634 Well, all you really need to know is he's a cutie-pie alcohol abuser 418 00:19:37,718 --> 00:19:39,720 in a loveless marriage, eh. 419 00:19:39,803 --> 00:19:43,056 And I would like to return one car, please. 420 00:19:43,140 --> 00:19:45,976 Oh, you just bought it. Is there some kind of problem? 421 00:19:46,059 --> 00:19:47,811 Oh, all kinds of problems. 422 00:19:47,895 --> 00:19:49,730 -Oh. -Yeah, all kinds. 423 00:19:49,813 --> 00:19:52,482 -It's a real change of heart. 424 00:19:53,066 --> 00:19:57,029 Nora, you're here all the time. You've wanted this so long. 425 00:19:57,112 --> 00:19:58,780 I just hate to see you-- 426 00:19:58,864 --> 00:20:02,326 Well, I am her therapist, and this is all under my direction. 427 00:20:02,409 --> 00:20:05,787 Well, I was just trying to be nice. I don't need a doctor's note. 428 00:20:05,871 --> 00:20:09,082 Uh, the car depreciates in value the moment it's off the lot, 429 00:20:09,166 --> 00:20:11,627 so I'm obligated to deduct a percentage. 430 00:20:11,710 --> 00:20:12,794 Of course you are. 431 00:20:13,629 --> 00:20:15,464 Well, just a smidge. 432 00:20:19,092 --> 00:20:22,721 Wait, I paid for this in cash? I figured I would have paid in gold. 433 00:20:23,597 --> 00:20:26,058 I hope you find what you're looking for. 434 00:20:26,642 --> 00:20:30,979 Yeah. Well, fingers crossed, it's all going in a trust for baby Nadia. 435 00:20:31,063 --> 00:20:32,773 You're naming the baby after me? 436 00:20:35,567 --> 00:20:38,195 -Well, that's a letdown. 437 00:20:38,278 --> 00:20:41,198 -Okay. All right. I guess we're done here. 438 00:20:41,281 --> 00:20:43,617 Hey, uh, let's check the trunk. 439 00:20:45,452 --> 00:20:47,746 Jesus fucking sable fest. 440 00:20:47,829 --> 00:20:50,916 Well, even Imelda Marcos can't keep all the shoes. 441 00:20:50,999 --> 00:20:51,917 Yeah. 442 00:20:52,960 --> 00:20:53,877 All right. 443 00:20:56,713 --> 00:20:59,591 Well, wherever she bought these furs, they got the coins. 444 00:21:02,427 --> 00:21:03,720 They're damaged. 445 00:21:03,804 --> 00:21:06,139 I'll take the return, but I can't give you full price. 446 00:21:06,223 --> 00:21:07,933 Makes sense. Typical. 447 00:21:08,016 --> 00:21:11,103 Uh, all right, great. Well, we're all negotiators, 448 00:21:11,186 --> 00:21:13,689 so, uh, there you go. 449 00:21:14,982 --> 00:21:17,484 Big business, cash money. 450 00:21:17,567 --> 00:21:19,278 Can I get my Krugerrands back now? 451 00:21:23,282 --> 00:21:24,366 That's it? 452 00:21:24,449 --> 00:21:27,577 Well, for what you gave me, yeah, that's it. 453 00:21:27,661 --> 00:21:29,204 You're business owners, I get it. 454 00:21:29,288 --> 00:21:31,373 But I'm sorry to inform you there's been an error. 455 00:21:31,456 --> 00:21:33,792 These Krugerrands have been brought here by mistake. 456 00:21:33,875 --> 00:21:36,461 -Mistakes? It's half our business. 457 00:21:36,545 --> 00:21:39,756 Listen to me, I need those coins. They're meant to be for my daughter, 458 00:21:39,840 --> 00:21:41,883 uh, you know, to give her something real 459 00:21:41,967 --> 00:21:44,052 to make up for all the things I can't give her, 460 00:21:44,136 --> 00:21:45,762 which is, uh, a lot. 461 00:21:45,846 --> 00:21:49,725 There's a lot of things. I'm talking basic life skills, etcetera. 462 00:21:49,808 --> 00:21:51,351 Oh no, here we go. 463 00:21:51,435 --> 00:21:53,270 Always a sob story. 464 00:21:53,353 --> 00:21:54,313 Do you need a bag? 465 00:21:54,396 --> 00:21:55,314 What? 466 00:21:55,856 --> 00:21:59,609 Jesus, look, I-- I need all of those, all right? 467 00:21:59,693 --> 00:22:02,696 If my mom does not have all of those, 468 00:22:02,779 --> 00:22:03,989 she won't make it. 469 00:22:04,531 --> 00:22:05,615 She won't function. 470 00:22:05,699 --> 00:22:08,035 I know this for a fact. 471 00:22:12,873 --> 00:22:14,708 He's gone anyway, right? 472 00:22:19,212 --> 00:22:20,172 Yeah, that'll work. 473 00:22:22,507 --> 00:22:23,884 Goodnight. Hail Satan. 474 00:22:31,641 --> 00:22:32,809 Thanks, Ruthie. 475 00:22:40,400 --> 00:22:44,029 Well, yeah, the ring, it's too big of a sacrifice. 476 00:22:44,112 --> 00:22:45,447 I don't deserve it. No. 477 00:22:46,031 --> 00:22:48,158 I don't deserve you, Ruthie. 478 00:22:48,241 --> 00:22:51,578 Oh, no one deserves what they get in life. That's not how it works. 479 00:22:51,661 --> 00:22:53,747 You know? What's the ring to me? 480 00:22:53,830 --> 00:22:56,958 Sorry to be morbid, but it's a promise from a dead man, and I would-- 481 00:22:57,042 --> 00:22:59,503 I would rather be alive with you. 482 00:22:59,586 --> 00:23:01,338 Hear, hear to that. 483 00:23:02,506 --> 00:23:06,593 Listen, you and me, we got a long, long ways to go, all right? 484 00:23:06,676 --> 00:23:09,137 -Hmm. -I'm basically like an oracle, 485 00:23:09,221 --> 00:23:10,138 just so you know. 486 00:23:10,222 --> 00:23:12,432 -Are you? -Yeah. Basically. 487 00:23:12,516 --> 00:23:14,101 Speaking of the future, 488 00:23:14,184 --> 00:23:15,310 uh, 489 00:23:15,394 --> 00:23:17,938 enough with the, you know… 490 00:23:18,814 --> 00:23:21,525 You gotta stop fucking smoking, man. You gotta stop smoking. 491 00:23:21,608 --> 00:23:23,610 Says the pregnant woman. 492 00:23:23,693 --> 00:23:25,987 The baby loves smoking. 493 00:23:26,071 --> 00:23:29,950 Me, I'm fine. I got cryogenics, what have you, you know, 494 00:23:30,033 --> 00:23:31,159 but you, uh… 495 00:23:31,243 --> 00:23:32,452 -Oh yeah? -Yeah. 496 00:23:32,536 --> 00:23:33,578 Well, up yours. 497 00:23:33,662 --> 00:23:37,040 Also, I want you to start investing some money, okay? 498 00:23:37,124 --> 00:23:38,208 I'm talking real money. 499 00:23:38,291 --> 00:23:41,920 If you wanna make money, put in some Tyson Foods, Grainger, 500 00:23:42,003 --> 00:23:44,172 Illinois Tool Works, Apple products-- 501 00:23:44,256 --> 00:23:46,133 Nora. Nora! Nora. 502 00:23:46,758 --> 00:23:48,427 I know you're trying to make me feel better, 503 00:23:48,510 --> 00:23:50,595 but I need you to stop working so hard, okay? 504 00:23:50,679 --> 00:23:52,264 -All right? -What did I do? 505 00:23:52,347 --> 00:23:55,267 I just need you to be right here with me. 506 00:23:55,350 --> 00:23:56,768 Right here, right now. 507 00:23:57,727 --> 00:23:58,979 Can you do that? 508 00:23:59,980 --> 00:24:00,814 Okay? 509 00:24:01,690 --> 00:24:03,525 -Right here? -Please. 510 00:24:34,306 --> 00:24:36,516 Hi, this is Nora, start talking. 511 00:24:41,730 --> 00:24:42,564 Hey. 512 00:24:43,315 --> 00:24:44,232 Nora. 513 00:24:44,774 --> 00:24:48,987 Uh, don't freak out. It's me, your daughter, 514 00:24:49,070 --> 00:24:51,531 calling you from somewhere on the space-time continuum 515 00:24:51,615 --> 00:24:52,991 on the Upper East Side. 516 00:24:53,575 --> 00:24:57,746 Uh,I'm inside your body, so that explains the voice, 517 00:24:57,829 --> 00:25:00,832 but don't be spooked by that, be cool. 518 00:25:00,916 --> 00:25:01,750 Uh… 519 00:25:02,501 --> 00:25:05,212 Yeah. So I guess I just wanna say hi, 520 00:25:05,295 --> 00:25:07,672 and that I'm-- 521 00:25:08,423 --> 00:25:09,883 I'm really mad at you. 522 00:25:09,966 --> 00:25:11,760 Uh, yeah, you just-- 523 00:25:12,552 --> 00:25:15,013 You mess up over and over, 524 00:25:15,096 --> 00:25:18,725 and it's just pretty fucking hard to take, and, uh… 525 00:25:19,893 --> 00:25:22,812 Of course, you'll probably wind up with Chez for a couple years. 526 00:25:22,896 --> 00:25:26,525 Uh, yeah, lo-- lower companions, 527 00:25:27,526 --> 00:25:29,611 water seeks its own level, etcetera. 528 00:25:29,694 --> 00:25:32,531 And, uh, I don't know, good-- good for you. 529 00:25:33,198 --> 00:25:34,908 Better than being alone, I guess. 530 00:25:34,991 --> 00:25:37,494 Uh, so anyway, uh… 531 00:25:38,453 --> 00:25:41,331 I'm bringing the gold back to Vera where it belongs to… 532 00:25:42,040 --> 00:25:44,376 I don't know, close this deranged fucking loop and bounce. 533 00:25:44,459 --> 00:25:45,293 Um… 534 00:25:46,127 --> 00:25:49,339 I hope that this can be a second chance for you guys, 535 00:25:49,422 --> 00:25:53,093 and that you don't just destroy things. 536 00:25:53,176 --> 00:25:54,177 So, uh… 537 00:25:56,388 --> 00:25:57,222 Yeah, okay. 538 00:25:57,305 --> 00:25:59,224 Uh, I love you. 539 00:25:59,933 --> 00:26:02,811 I tried my best. All right, yeah, bye. 540 00:26:09,734 --> 00:26:12,529 Fucking-- This is why they invented cell phones. 541 00:26:49,858 --> 00:26:50,734 Alan! 542 00:27:29,189 --> 00:27:30,732 Did somebody take my bag? 543 00:27:32,942 --> 00:27:34,611 Did you see who took my bag? 544 00:27:37,614 --> 00:27:39,032 Yo, did you take my bag? 545 00:27:42,577 --> 00:27:44,371 Fuck! Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck!