[dramatic music]
♪ ♪
ANNOUNCER: He was on drugs, on the streets,
begging so he can buy more drugs.
But one day, when he was searching for his next high,
he found what he was truly seeking...
PERSON: [singing "Call to Prayer" in Arabic]
ANNOUNCER: The most high.
♪ ♪
In the name of Allah, the most gracious,
the most merciful,
he's the world's most popular sheikh,
with over 11 million online followers,
the CEO of JustZam,
the only water straight out of Mecca,
with added electrolytes.
He's tonight's keynote speaker of this very conference.
Let's hear a big Takbeer
for Abu Bakar Miller!
[cheers and applause]
ALL: Allahu Akbar!
Allahu Akbar! Allahu Akbar!
[dynamic music playing]
♪ ♪
- Bismillah.
[audience gasps]
[Abu Bakar breathes deeply]
This flame may hurt now...
But it is nothing
compared to the eternal hellfire
for those who do not submit.
Takbeer. ALL: Allahu Akbar!
- [inhales sharply] Takbeer.
ALL: Allahu Akbar!
- Takbeer!
ALL: Allahu Akbar!
♪ ♪
[bottle clatters]
- We've connected today...
over our love for our deen...
In the spirit of giving.
And speaking of giving,
we are accepting donations to the Believe Institute.
To make this easier,
we have created an amazing app.
We call it InstaZakat.
If you verify your bank,
you can give unlimited donations
to any Islamic organization.
And I...
have been crafting this talk since Ramadan...
When I was deep into cave mode.
And I've entitled it
"The Quran is the Original Blockchain."
[electronic blipping]
You know why?
Because it is.
But first, I have a surprise.
Let's give a warm New Jersey welcome
to the Halal Brothers!
[air horn blows]
[cheers and applause]
[hip-hop music playing]
♪ ♪
[dramatic music playing]
♪ ♪
- A man and a woman are never alone.
There's always an unseen presence.
If you're married, it's God.
If you're not,
it's the devil.
♪ ♪
♪ When a man and a woman ♪
♪ Are meeting up before marriage ♪
♪ And they wanna hook up ♪
♪ There's always a third ♪
♪ Always a third ♪
♪ When you've gone on a date and you want more love ♪
♪ And they say, "Come up," just stop ♪
♪ There's always a third ♪
♪ Always a third ♪
♪ Shaytan ♪
- ♪ The devil ♪ - ♪ Shaytan ♪
- ♪ The devil, the devil ♪ - ♪ Shaytan is ♪
- ♪ The devil ♪ - ♪ Coming for you ♪
- ♪ The devil ♪ - ♪ You better run ♪
[whispering] ♪ The devil, the devil ♪
- ♪ You better stop right now ♪
- ♪ The devil ♪
- ♪ Don't do what you're about to do ♪
♪ I know you feel the same way ♪
♪ God is up in this thing ♪
♪ Girl, I must refrain ♪
♪ From touching on you ♪ - ♪ Allah ♪
- ♪ I know you feel the same thing ♪
♪ Out of your mind, you drive me insane ♪
♪ I'm waiting on that ring ♪
♪ So I can back up to you ♪
♪ Late night, I'm making wudu ♪
♪ But I'm so tempted by you ♪
♪ You know what I wanna do ♪
♪ I wanna practice my faith ♪
♪ Shaytan ♪
- ♪ The devil ♪ - ♪ Shaytan ♪
- ♪ The devil, the devil ♪ - ♪ Shaytan is ♪
- ♪ The devil ♪ - ♪ Coming for you. ♪
- ♪ The devil ♪
- ♪ When a man and a woman ♪
♪ Are meeting up before marriage ♪
♪ And they wanna hook up ♪
♪ There's always a third ♪
♪ Always a third ♪
♪ ♪
[indistinct chatter]
[people speaking Arabic]
[Arabic hip-hop music]
♪ ♪
NASEEM: Show me the proof for the vaccine.
Show me the trials. Show me the trials.
This is a...[speaking Arabic].
Lying to the people under Allah's eyes.
Under Allah's eyes, you lie.
I don't--
I mean, I have a vaccine card. It's a fake one.
I got it from this boy in the East Village,
but it's another story.
But you don't need anything. All you need is this.
See? Huh?
I'm clean. RAMY: [speaking Arabic]
Get your finger off the table.
- Yo, dude, I don't really fit in here.
- No, dude, you're perfect.
Listen, everyone's gonna come up.
They're gonna try and convert you.
Then they're gonna see the jewelry and buy stuff.
- You sure? - Yeah.
No, no, it--it's great.
- Okay, but how you are gonna get to the Great White Sheikh?
- Shadi's gonna get me in,
and, uh, I'm gonna show him this.
If we can get him wearing it, sales will go nuts today.
- It'll be fucking through the roof.
- Yeah. - Allah's a good man.
- You want something to drink?
Uh, the JustZam stuff is really good.
- I can't. I'm fasting. I dropped the family tefillin.
It's an old rule where you drop a scroll,
you gotta fast for 40 days.
It sucks.
I'm only on day three, but I honestly think
my stretchmarks might be going away.
Do I look thinner? RAMY: Um--
- Hey, cousin. The bar mitzvah's next door.
Can I have a minute, please? YUVAL: Yeah.
- I need Mo Jr. in the right headspace.
Come on, hug your uncle.
Come on. Give your uncle a hug.
- What's, uh--what's going on? Headspace for what?
MO: He's in the main event.
It's the Quran recitation-- Quranic Kids.
Uh, he's gonna go up there
and recite different parts of the surah,
and then they, uh, score him based off his pronunciation,
his--his tajweed, and, uh, you know, his voice.
Gotta make sure it's a nice voice, yeah, right, buddy?
It's, like, basically like American Idol
but, you know, for Quran.
- Is the Quran supposed to be competitive like that?
- If we get top three, we get a free hajj trip
for the whole family, okay, plus a PS5.
- Why you putting so much pressure on him, dude?
You don't even memorize the Quran.
MO: If he memorizes it, it's like I memorized it.
God accepts the good deeds of our children on our behalf.
All right, if you make them better than you,
it's like I did it too.
- Yeah, that sounds like a really healthy relationship.
- Come on, let's warm up. Let's do Fatiha.
- [clears throat] [speaking Arabic]
MO: What is this, bro?
It's... [speaking Arabic]
You're saying... [speaking Arabic]
I mean, how many times do we have to go over this?
It's okay, habibi. Come on, man.
MO JR: Sorry, baba. MO: Really, it's basics.
- Yeah, I'll meet you guys at the recital.
MO: All right.
Look, I respect the steps forward
you've taken to come here, you know?
It's really amazing. YUVAL: Thank you.
- But I think you need the Quran in your life.
I think you stopped too short, you know?
Stopped with Moses. Moses is amazing.
We love Moses. Moses is a beloved prophet.
- Yes. - But there's other prophets
that you should really look into, you know?
Let's not start with Jesus, bring up old wounds.
You know what I'm saying? This could help you out.
Here. Read the Quran, hmm?
This is really nice. I like this.
- What size ring are you? - I'm a 13.
[indistinct chatter]
NASEEM: Salaam alaikum.
I said salaam alaikum.
- Yeah, it doesn't really feel
like you're wishing peace upon me.
- What are you doing backstage?
You're talking to Abu Bakar, right?
- I'm doing business, just like you.
- How dare you?
You know this is my best event all year.
- There's enough room for both of us.
You don't have to get so competitive.
- No, there isn't. You took the best spot, A17.
I'm down by D34,
next to the female genital mutilation booth.
And you know what? They're taking all my shine.
- Well, it's an important issue.
It's happening all over the world.
- I'll fucking mutilate you.
- Okay. Look, I-I gotta go.
I hope everything's good for you, inshallah.
- Hey, don't-- don't "inshallah" me,
you little piece of shit.
You know, you-- you think you can be
a good Muslim for one day and then Allah's gonna forget
about all the bad things you've done?
STAGE MANAGER: Brothers and sisters,
make your way to the main stage
for the Sufi Center of North Jersey,
presented by Sheikha Khadijah and Zainab Malik.
I repeat, please make your way to the main stage
for the Sufi Center of North Jersey.
ZAINAB: As humans, we must be taught everything we know.
Running comes naturally to us, but in order to run properly,
we have to be taught.
Uh, instinctively, we move in ways that are...
inefficient or cause us to get hurt.
To be a good runner,
we must learn from someone who knows how to run.
We must learn from a runner.
Um, even standing--
standing is one of the most natural things we do,
and yet most of us don't know how to stand properly.
So to stand correctly,
which is to have your knee bent slightly so you get
a good center of gravity and good circulation,
isn't something most of us know naturally.
[cell phone ringing]
We have to be taught.
This is also true when it comes to...the heart.
In our schools, we are taught the heart physically,
but we have to be taught
how to navigate the heart in the unseen.
This is a space we strive to create
at the Sufi Center of North Jersey.
So now here we are,
asking if you may support our center
however Allah allows you to,
to support my father, Sheikh Malik,
and Sheikha Khadijah,
a teacher of the heart.
Our center has faced some difficulties recently.
Uh, some years ago,
we accepted donations from a particular individual
whose funds are currently under investigation,
which has put us under investigation.
- I heard about this.
They're under investigation
for taking money from some Emirati guy.
ZAINAB: What to look for, we know how...
- Really? - FBI. [chuckles] Poor woman.
ZAINAB: To know yourself... NASEEM: Poor and alone.
ZAINAB: This is to know God.
- It's one flipping music cue,
and you've messed it up twice already.
I am sponsoring your visa, for Allah's sake.
- Sheikh, I-I'm sorry.
The--the Halal dudes, they sent me their tracks last-minute,
and--and--and the soundboard I'm using,
it was different than the one I'm used to.
- Different from the one you're used to DJ'ing
to kaffirs in the East Village
or in the flipping boat shack in Cairo?
- Sheikh-- - 'Cause I will pull your visa
faster than you can eat a can of fuul.
You got me?
[knock at door]
RAMY: Yo. Yo.
- Ramy, this really isn't the time, bro.
- Salaam alaikum, brother.
Keefak?
Shadi. SHADI: Yes.
- Out.
- Uh, alaikum al-salaam, Sheikh Abu Bakar.
It's, uh--it's so good to meet you.
My name's Ramy.
I just wanted to come here and tell you
that what you did out there
was one of the most beautiful things I've ever experienced.
It was so...spiritual.
- I am humbled.
Al-humbled-allah.
I spent many years of tafkeer honing my vibe.
- And--and your vibe seems really honed.
But I, uh--I thought maybe I could give you a gift
that could, uh, add to it a little bit.
ABU BAKAR: Mashallah.
This is beautiful.
- Thank you, Sheikh.
Uh, it's for my company, M-Maktoub Jewelers.
And we'd be honored if you ever wanted--
- So it's 100 grand for a promo post.
Or we can do a 70-30 split on any sales
directly linked to my Instagram.
And then all the proceeds just go
to the Believe Institute, of course.
[chuckles]
- Yeah, I-I can't do more than do 20%.
Inshallah.
[low, indistinct background chatter]
- Look at us.
Negotiating like a couple of merchants in Medina.
Inshallah, my brother.
But you gotta give me the 20%.
Feel me?
RAMY: Yeah. - I don't call you.
You call me. You hear me?
- Yeah, yeah. I call you.
ABU BAKAR: I don't wanna have to look you up.
- Yeah. Inshallah.
- It's asr. Let's pray.
- Um...
I'm, uh--
W-w-what are you doing?
- We'll do a little Instagram Live,
'cause you gotta pray with the ummah.
- Yo, yo, yo, yo!
Salaam alaikum, my brothers and sisters.
It's Sheikh AB, and I'm back.
I'm back at you with a very special
companion here right now.
So without further "wudu,"
I'm bringing you Ramy.
He's the owner of Maktoub Jewelry.
And my brother Ramy has gifted me some ice.
Look at that. That's beautiful. Mashallah, brother.
Why don't you tell people
where you source your beautiful stones from?
- The stones are from-- from the Middle East.
- Subhanallah.
Sacred ice from the sacred desert land.
Man, you are special. You are special.
Why don't you lead the prayer?
- You--you want me to lead?
- A good imam
knows how to follow the youth.
- Ah.
ABU BAKAR: Allahu Akbar.
NASEEM: [speaking Arabic]
Disgusting, huh?
Hi, Zainab.
Uh, salaam, Sheikha. I-I'm a very big fan.
- Alaikum al-salaam. - Hi.
NASEEM: On behalf of our whole family,
uh, condolences on what Ramy did to you.
He hasn't told us what happened,
but, huh, a quick divorce like that,
it could only be because of him.
Um, can I please talk to you?
- I'm busy. - Just a moment of privacy.
ZAINAB: [sighs]
- Um, I-I have a certain problem I need help with.
- Yes, that's been clear.
- I know--I know I come off a certain way.
But really, I'm just--I've been feeling a lot of anger lately,
and I need someone to talk to,
someone to help me understand.
- Okay, well, I can't help you with your problems.
I really don't know anyone who could.
- Obviously not you.
Your father. I need a curse lifted.
- He is not here right now. He's in the Gambia.
- Come on, Zainab. We're on the same side.
Ramy's the devil.
- I have worked very hard to not be in contact
with your family, and it's not even about that.
I haven't even talked to my dad.
There's a lot we disagree on at the moment,
and he is off the grid.
He's fasting and praying.
- Can he Zoom? - What?
- Everyone Zooms.
Zoom isn't going to break your fast.
- No, you can't Zoom with him.
I'm sorry.
- Bismillah.
CHILD: [speaking Arabic]
Thank you.
STAGE MANAGER: Takbeer! ALL: Allahu Akbar!
STAGE MANAGER: Next up, we have Mohammad Aziz II.
- Let's go, Mo Jr.! You got this in the bag!
Clutch time, baby! Arab Mamba!
[microphone whine]
- [reciting in Arabic]
[dramatic music]
♪ ♪
[Mo Junior's voice fades]
[music intensifies]
♪ ♪
STAGE MANAGER: Takbeer! ALL: Allahu Akbar!
[indistinct chatter]
RAMY: Uh, salaam alaikum, Sheikha.
- Alaikum al-salaam.
- I-I saw you speaking earlier.
Mashallah. It was beautiful.
- Thank you, sidi.
- I wanted to talk to Zainab. I'm actually her--
- I know who you are.
I'm sorry. She's not here.
- Okay, it's just--just, I-I wanna make
a donation to the center.
I-I know that you're struggling.
And I-I've been trying to call Zainab.
I-I really only--
I just wanna tell her that I'm sorry, and--and--
- The greatest forgiver is Allah.
Inshallah, everything in due time.
PERSON: Salaam alaikum.
Are you able to donate today?
- Uh, what--
what--what--what--what is this?
- I know. It's horrible to look at.
Khaled's case was one of the most shocking ones.
He was arrested under completely false circumstances.
- He--he--he's-- he's still arrested now?
Like, they--they--they-- they have him now, arrested?
PERSON: They've held him under the charge of robbery.
No one even knows what he stole.
They use whatever they can to take our kids.
- This is not--it's not right. There's, um--there's a mistake.
- I know. We're trying to get his case international--
- No, you don't understand.
No, it's fucking-- it's fucked up.
There's a fucking mistake, and I'm--I'm fucking--
- I--[sighs] [line rings]
PERSON: [speaking Arabic]
[voice mail beeps]
- Ayala, Ayala, I need you to call me back, okay?
Call me, 'cause we--there's--
it's--it's not about business, but there's something--
You gotta call--we gotta talk.
Just please fucking--
What is that?
YUVAL: I'm in SLAA.
I didn't wanna tell you
'cause I didn't wanna freak you out,
but I am a sex addict.
I got one week.
They gave me this token.
I'm not sure it's legit.
He gives out tokens all the time.
I saw him give a guy a token
for being sober for 15 minutes.
It's like, who's he gonna fuck,
the guy giving out the tokens?
But it's been good for me, you know?
Trying to keep it straight and narrow.
Today was awesome, being around all you Muslims.
Like, seeing the beautiful communities
and the families,
it's like how I felt on Shabbat, you know?
And when those kids started reciting, man,
oh, my God, it fucking rocked me.
RAMY: Yeah.
- I think I saw some signs.
- What--what-- what kind of signs?
- Just, like, to reconnect, you know?
To, like, really, like...
get back in it.
And I just keep thinking about what we're doing.
Fucking rolling up and selling to Sheikh Eminem?
Starting to feel really immoral, you know?
Starting to feel bad.
I don't know, I thought us working together
was gonna be different.
You know, I thought, "Well,
"I'm searching for God, and he's searching for God,
"and it's Jews and Muslims working together.
It's a beautiful thing."
But, dude, I mean, we're so fucking caught up in the money.
It's just bad now. It's just bad, bad.
I have to get out.
- Yuval, like, you-- you're the one who got me in.
How--how are you getting out of this?
- I'm sorry that I got you in.
But I-I'm--I'm done.
I'm done, man.
- Dude, Ay--
Selim and--and Ayala
are--are gonna lose their shit, all right?
You--you got a bunch of shit that you gotta sell,
and--and you have to get the money
by the weekend, all right?
Th-they'll-- they'll fuck you up, dude.
So--so please, just--
I-I think you're fasting and you haven't eaten,
and you just gotta go home and get some food, man.
Just--just get something.
- You know, when you drop the tefillin,
they say it's God telling you that you've done wrong.
Dude, I know,
I know he's trying to tell me that this isn't the move.
This business is not good.
I missed the first sign,
when he cut off my fucking finger,
because I was too busy eating pussy and eating ass.
But I got one week,
and I'm gonna try to get another.
I'm looking for some, like,
really spiritual shit right now.
I'm sorry to leave you. I really am.
- What--what do you want me to do with this, man?
- Just don't forget me, man.
Please don't forget me.
[keys jingle]
[engine turning over]
[bell jingles]
OLIVIA: [exhales heavily]
RAMY: Hey.
Are--are you leaving for the night?
OLIVIA: You just missed me, babe.
I'm sure you can go see one of my colleagues.
RAMY: No, I don't--I don't wanna see a colleague.
It's not like H&R Block or something.
I-I-I came to see you.
Are you--um, could we, like, hang, uh, outside of here?
- Uh, what's up with the car?
- It's--it's vintage.
- See, I don't really do house calls, so...
RAMY: Come on, look, I'll--I'll--I'll pay you extra.
Like...very extra.
- You gonna get the car door for me?
'Cause I'm not really a off-the-street kind of girl.
RAMY: Could we, uh, try something?
OLIVIA: What kind of thing?
Some things cost extra.
- Like, hitting?
- Depends. Who's hitting who?
- You hitting me.
- Oh, same price.
- [chuckles]
Like...
harder.
Now do it again.
- Try this.
It's a plant, kanna. It's natural.
It'll help you...
get rid of the stress in your chest.
Don't worry. I give it to sober guys.
[dramatic music]
GEORGE W. BUSH: This past Christmas,
our family--some of our family gathered in Camp David,
and my brother gave us bed nets as a Christmas gift.
I can do the same thing here in America.
You can make an individual contribution
to save somebody's life.
OLIVIA: It's actually crazy
that these documentaries are just right there,
right under our eyes,
fucking youtube.com.
It's part of how the empire works.
They let it exist lo-fi, floating around.
They make you feel that if it was real, they'd delete it,
as if to say, like, "How could the truth be out there?"
But it is out there.
NASEEM: They're under investigation
for taking money from some Emirati guy.
PERSON: Which has put us under investigation.
BUSH: I can hear you!
[laughter]
[cheers and applause]
PERSON: Khaled's case was one of the most shocking ones.
He was arrested
under completely false circumstances.
It was totally unjustified.
- Help kids in Africa because it's the right thing to do.
PERSON: Shazaam!
[distorted, muffled voice]
PERSON: They use whatever they can to take our kids.
[overlapping voices]
- You could have spoken to Ramy.
- [scoffs]
What is the point of Diet Coke
if you're gonna have Pop-Tarts?
- Zainab, the time is fast approaching.
Pretty soon, you'll have to talk to him.
You can't let this thing hang over you forever.
- He doesn't deserve to talk to me.
He doesn't deserve anything.
He's a bad person.
- I'm not saying he's not a man
of inconsistencies or hypocrisies.
I eat Pop-Tarts.
But I also drink Diet Coke.
Bismillah.
- This is not a Pop-Tart situation.
- I know.
But he came looking for you.
He paid your mehr.
As your sheikha,
I'm telling you,
you need to call him.
The decision isn't about you alone anymore.
[baby crying]
- Let's pray fajr.
I need to take her upstairs anyway.
[crying continues]
Shh.
KHADIJA: Mashallah.
[crying continues]
[phone buzzing]
- Yo. - [speaking Arabic]
- What?
- Dude, it's, like, 5:00 in the morning, man.
MO: Which is the best time to play PlayStation.
Mo Jr.'s asleep. Eman's asleep.
Hanan's asleep.
- Who?
MO: Get it together, man.
I need someone to play with.
OLIVIA: Boomy?
Boomy.
OLIVIA: Boom!
- Let me call-- let me call you back.
OLIVIA: Boom!
[suspenseful music]
Boomy! Boomy!
What--
Boom--Boom!
Fuck!
She isn't breathing.
She got into the cocaine
when she was trying to get the food.
Oh, shit.
Give her the magical water.
Take it. Take it.
♪ ♪
[dramatic music]
♪ ♪
- ♪ When a man and a woman ♪
♪ Are meeting up before marriage ♪
♪ And they wanna hook up ♪
♪ There's always a third ♪
♪ Always a third ♪
♪ When you've gone on a date and you want more love ♪
♪ And they say, "Come up," just stop ♪
♪ There's always a third ♪
♪ Always a third ♪
♪ Shaytan ♪
- ♪ The devil ♪ - ♪ Shaytan ♪
- ♪ The devil, the devil ♪ - ♪ Shaytan is ♪
- ♪ The devil ♪ - ♪ Coming for you ♪
- ♪ The devil ♪ - ♪ You better run ♪
♪ The devil, the devil ♪ - ♪ You better stop right now ♪
- ♪ The devil ♪
- ♪ Don't do what you're about to do ♪
♪ I know you feel the same way ♪
♪ God is up in this thing ♪
♪ Girl, I must refrain ♪
♪ From touching on you ♪ - ♪ Allah ♪
- ♪ I know you feel the same thing ♪
♪ Out of your mind, you drive me insane ♪
♪ I'm waiting on that ring ♪
♪ So I can back up to you ♪
♪ Late night, I'm making wudu ♪
♪ But I'm so tempted by you ♪
♪ You know what I wanna do ♪
♪ I wanna practice my faith ♪
♪ Shaytan ♪
- ♪ The devil, the devil ♪ - ♪ Shaytan is ♪
- ♪ The devil ♪ - ♪ Coming for you ♪
- ♪ The devil ♪
- ♪ Man and a woman are all alone ♪
♪ In the bedroom ♪
♪ Even on the phone, just know ♪
♪ It's never them in the world ♪
♪ Remember, there's always a third ♪
♪ I never had any role models ♪
♪ I came up on the street with a 40 bottle ♪
♪ But now I make change on the blockchain ♪
♪ And I thank God five times a day ♪
♪ Just pray that you're a good Muslim too ♪
♪ And don't listen when the devil whispers at you ♪
- ♪ Psst, psst, psst, psst, psst, psst, psst, psst ♪
♪ Psst, psst, psst, psst, psst, psst, psst, psst ♪