1
00:00:09,676 --> 00:00:12,977
[Poison Ivy whistles]
2
00:00:19,753 --> 00:00:23,652
[vacuum cleaning humming]
3
00:00:27,260 --> 00:00:28,562
-[Dr. Psycho] Damn,
that was good!
-[Clayface laughing]
4
00:00:28,661 --> 00:00:31,364
Who has two hands
covered in unwashable ink?
5
00:00:31,464 --> 00:00:32,832
Uh, this girl!
6
00:00:32,932 --> 00:00:35,134
We just made
that bank our bitch!
7
00:00:35,234 --> 00:00:37,570
Dude! That was
a Noguchi coffee table.
8
00:00:37,670 --> 00:00:38,805
Uh, sorry. But hey!
9
00:00:38,905 --> 00:00:40,707
Now you can buy
a bunch of 'em!
10
00:00:40,807 --> 00:00:43,409
-Guch! Guch! Guch!
-You know you can
just hand me some money.
11
00:00:43,409 --> 00:00:44,844
You don't have to make it rain.
12
00:00:44,844 --> 00:00:46,479
[squeals] It's Noguchi!
13
00:00:46,479 --> 00:00:48,247
[annoyed sigh] I'm gonna go
make some nettles tea.
14
00:00:48,247 --> 00:00:50,616
Oh, man. This was
our best heist yet.
15
00:00:50,616 --> 00:00:52,304
And we hit the perfect tone!
16
00:00:52,304 --> 00:00:54,286
Like, okay,
everyone in the bank
was super scared of us,
17
00:00:54,387 --> 00:00:57,289
but like not so much that
they weren't also delighted
18
00:00:57,289 --> 00:00:58,725
when I just cartwheeled out.
19
00:00:58,725 --> 00:01:00,828
I'm sure everybody on the news
is talkin' about it.
20
00:01:00,927 --> 00:01:03,262
I hope we didn't miss
too much of the coverage.
21
00:01:03,362 --> 00:01:06,465
Batman stops Joker
from robbing the credit union.
22
00:01:06,466 --> 00:01:09,335
Credit union?
That's just a poor person bank.
23
00:01:09,436 --> 00:01:11,203
We robbed a real one
24
00:01:11,304 --> 00:01:14,707
with a vault, and money, and
predatory lending practices!
25
00:01:14,808 --> 00:01:16,409
No, the news
probably did us first.
26
00:01:16,409 --> 00:01:17,468
Here, try Channel 7.
27
00:01:17,468 --> 00:01:19,813
-[reporter] And Batman foils--
-[annoyed grunt]
Just let me look.
28
00:01:21,213 --> 00:01:22,816
We're the most
compelling story,
29
00:01:22,816 --> 00:01:24,450
so they're probably
saving us for last.
30
00:01:24,551 --> 00:01:26,887
And now our last
and most compelling story.
31
00:01:26,986 --> 00:01:28,487
Enter, us!
32
00:01:28,489 --> 00:01:30,222
-Turn up the volume!
-It's about damn time.
33
00:01:30,322 --> 00:01:32,391
[reporter] A cardboard box
of baby ferrets
34
00:01:32,391 --> 00:01:34,727
has finally been returned
to their rightful owners.
35
00:01:34,727 --> 00:01:36,629
-[Poison Ivy sighs] Oh, boy.
-[Harley shrieks]
36
00:01:36,629 --> 00:01:37,864
You have been here two weeks
37
00:01:37,864 --> 00:01:39,498
and you have
destroyed nine TVs.
38
00:01:39,498 --> 00:01:40,566
Sorry. [sigh]
39
00:01:40,667 --> 00:01:41,834
I'm just pissed.
40
00:01:41,936 --> 00:01:43,537
Why aren't they
talkin' about us?
41
00:01:43,637 --> 00:01:45,305
It should be our faces
on that screen!
42
00:01:45,405 --> 00:01:47,373
We should be those ferrets!
43
00:01:47,373 --> 00:01:50,510
You guys, like,
realize you're committing
serious felonies, right?
44
00:01:50,611 --> 00:01:52,912
Like, you actually don't want
people to know who you are.
45
00:01:53,013 --> 00:01:54,447
-Or--
-[Poison Ivy] No.
46
00:01:54,447 --> 00:01:56,200
No "or". I just
gave you great advice.
47
00:01:56,200 --> 00:02:00,287
But, there's only one thing
stopping us from
being front page news.
48
00:02:00,387 --> 00:02:02,623
No one's trying to stop us.
49
00:02:02,623 --> 00:02:03,656
Of course!
50
00:02:03,656 --> 00:02:05,424
Joker has Batman
51
00:02:05,525 --> 00:02:07,359
and suddenly a simple crime
52
00:02:07,460 --> 00:02:10,362
becomes a thrilling narrative
between two titans.
53
00:02:10,463 --> 00:02:12,832
Exactly. We need a nemesis!
54
00:02:12,832 --> 00:02:14,334
Lex Luthor has Superman.
55
00:02:14,335 --> 00:02:15,800
Sinestro has Green Lantern.
56
00:02:15,800 --> 00:02:18,405
Psycho has his own inability to
refrain from using the c-word.
57
00:02:18,504 --> 00:02:21,274
My nemesis is Wonder Woman,
that cu--
58
00:02:21,274 --> 00:02:22,475
Okay, I see what you're saying.
59
00:02:22,475 --> 00:02:23,943
That's it then!
I need a nemesis.
60
00:02:23,943 --> 00:02:25,245
-Great advice, Ive.
-No.
61
00:02:25,245 --> 00:02:26,780
That's 100% not--
62
00:02:26,879 --> 00:02:28,314
[theme music playing]
63
00:02:31,450 --> 00:02:32,699
[Harley] Alrighty.
64
00:02:32,699 --> 00:02:34,754
So our profile page
on Find-a-Nemesis dot com
65
00:02:34,754 --> 00:02:37,257
-has been up for a day
and we have...
-[beeps]
66
00:02:37,257 --> 00:02:39,526
Zero messages? [sighs]
67
00:02:39,526 --> 00:02:41,394
Clayface, did you
use my hairbrush?
68
00:02:42,628 --> 00:02:43,963
-No.
-[angrily] What the hell?
69
00:02:44,063 --> 00:02:45,431
You're messing up my apartment!
70
00:02:45,431 --> 00:02:48,401
Your apartment?
It's my apartment!
71
00:02:48,401 --> 00:02:51,705
And if your
dirty circus freak friends
keep messin' it up,
72
00:02:51,805 --> 00:02:52,973
I'm kickin' ya out.
73
00:02:53,073 --> 00:02:54,574
You know the rules:
74
00:02:54,574 --> 00:02:57,377
no pets, no noise,
no commies, no d-- [shouts]
75
00:02:57,377 --> 00:02:58,812
I don't know if he was
gonna get racist there,
76
00:02:58,812 --> 00:03:00,580
but it felt like
that's where it was headed.
77
00:03:00,580 --> 00:03:02,649
I thought robots were
supposed to be helpful.
78
00:03:02,748 --> 00:03:03,984
-Right?
-[sighs]
79
00:03:03,984 --> 00:03:05,685
He's not a robot,
he's a disabled person.
80
00:03:05,686 --> 00:03:07,621
Anyway. You stained
all my carpeting.
81
00:03:07,721 --> 00:03:10,389
And you came home drunk
and tried to mind-control
the microwave,
82
00:03:10,389 --> 00:03:11,858
and burnt a hole
through the countertop.
83
00:03:11,859 --> 00:03:13,794
That microwave
knows what it said.
84
00:03:13,894 --> 00:03:15,361
[knock at door]
85
00:03:15,361 --> 00:03:16,896
Dammit, Sy!
I will move the trash bins--
86
00:03:16,896 --> 00:03:18,632
-Oh my God!
-[Dr. Psycho and Harley scream]
87
00:03:18,731 --> 00:03:20,266
[ominous music playing]
88
00:03:22,735 --> 00:03:23,971
-[grunts]
-Ow?
89
00:03:24,070 --> 00:03:25,504
Harley! Oh, oh, oh.
90
00:03:25,605 --> 00:03:27,007
This is a
classic misunderstanding.
91
00:03:27,108 --> 00:03:29,308
Bat down. Bat down. [chuckles]
92
00:03:29,408 --> 00:03:31,745
-This is King Shark.
-Howdy.
93
00:03:31,844 --> 00:03:34,814
Hacker extraordinaire and,
perhaps more pertinent,
94
00:03:34,914 --> 00:03:36,984
social media maven.
95
00:03:37,084 --> 00:03:39,519
Uh, this giant, terrifying,
half man, half-shark
is a computer whiz?
96
00:03:39,620 --> 00:03:41,354
I don't like to brag,
97
00:03:41,455 --> 00:03:44,424
but he took me from
eight social media followers
98
00:03:44,524 --> 00:03:46,894
to eight... teen. Bravo!
99
00:03:46,993 --> 00:03:49,528
I called him to solve
our nemesis problem.
100
00:03:49,629 --> 00:03:52,800
Mmm... I'm guessing
you're the one having trouble
finding a nemesis.
101
00:03:52,800 --> 00:03:55,068
Well, we put the profile up and
we're not gettin' any bites.
102
00:03:55,068 --> 00:03:57,068
-[sinister music playing]
-Is that a shark joke?
103
00:03:58,371 --> 00:04:01,675
If so, it's very funny. [laugh]
104
00:04:01,775 --> 00:04:04,677
Now scooch. Let me
take a look at that profile.
105
00:04:04,777 --> 00:04:07,280
Hmm. Okay, now
here's your first problem.
106
00:04:07,379 --> 00:04:09,782
You're not using
any of the right keywords.
107
00:04:09,782 --> 00:04:11,818
I'll hack into the mainframe
and get you featured.
108
00:04:11,919 --> 00:04:13,687
How long's this going to take?
109
00:04:13,687 --> 00:04:15,489
-[computer dings]
-There you go.
Got your first match.
110
00:04:15,489 --> 00:04:17,624
[Dr. Psycho] Who the hell
is Tommy Tomorrow?
111
00:04:17,723 --> 00:04:19,625
He's got a
personalized ray gun.
112
00:04:19,725 --> 00:04:22,028
He says he's looking
for something casual.
113
00:04:22,028 --> 00:04:23,831
Someone to fight
on the weekends.
114
00:04:23,930 --> 00:04:26,333
I am not settling
for Tommy Tomorrow.
115
00:04:26,432 --> 00:04:27,901
[shouting] I wanna nemesis-up!
116
00:04:28,002 --> 00:04:30,470
You're not gonna find
any A-listers on here.
117
00:04:30,569 --> 00:04:31,838
There's no Batmen.
118
00:04:31,939 --> 00:04:34,040
Or... we get Batman!
119
00:04:34,141 --> 00:04:36,877
Batman? You have
fought him countless times
120
00:04:36,877 --> 00:04:38,644
and every time
ya end up at Arkham.
121
00:04:38,644 --> 00:04:40,713
I know another way
and by the end of it,
122
00:04:40,713 --> 00:04:43,083
Bats will be our nemesis.
123
00:04:43,184 --> 00:04:44,851
-I don't know.
-Unlikely.
124
00:04:44,951 --> 00:04:47,353
Yes, yes, yes.
125
00:04:47,454 --> 00:04:48,922
[tires screech]
126
00:04:49,889 --> 00:04:52,925
[laughing manically]
127
00:04:53,026 --> 00:04:56,177
[rock music playing]
128
00:05:00,834 --> 00:05:01,834
[Harley squeals] Woo-hoo!
129
00:05:01,834 --> 00:05:04,235
[siren wailing]
130
00:05:13,880 --> 00:05:15,014
[metal jingling]
131
00:05:15,115 --> 00:05:16,115
[tires bursting]
132
00:05:17,151 --> 00:05:18,151
Ha!
133
00:05:20,887 --> 00:05:21,887
[glass shattering]
134
00:05:23,023 --> 00:05:24,790
You've crossed the line, Quinn.
135
00:05:24,791 --> 00:05:26,992
-You're going
to Arkham for goo--
-Buh-bye!
136
00:05:30,129 --> 00:05:32,529
[siren wailing]
137
00:05:41,175 --> 00:05:42,675
[laughing manically]
138
00:05:45,045 --> 00:05:46,045
Yeah!
139
00:05:49,548 --> 00:05:50,983
[both scream]
140
00:05:51,084 --> 00:05:52,384
[tires screech]
141
00:05:52,485 --> 00:05:53,754
Ta-da!
142
00:05:53,853 --> 00:05:55,988
How the hell
did you pull this off?
143
00:05:56,089 --> 00:05:57,399
The car's voice activated,
144
00:05:57,399 --> 00:05:58,959
so I took some recordings
of Bats' voice
145
00:05:58,959 --> 00:06:00,742
and spliced 'em together.
146
00:06:00,742 --> 00:06:03,529
[Batman on recording]
Open Batmobile
allow Harley to drive.
147
00:06:03,529 --> 00:06:04,596
He also said...
148
00:06:04,596 --> 00:06:06,899
[Batman on recording]
I definitely make love to bats.
149
00:06:07,000 --> 00:06:09,569
-Ha!
-Heavens to Murgatroyd.
He admits it!
150
00:06:11,170 --> 00:06:13,572
[laughs] The
signature grappler!
151
00:06:13,673 --> 00:06:15,942
The bat-eth hath arrived-eth.
152
00:06:16,043 --> 00:06:17,644
[Clayface] Success! [laughs]
153
00:06:17,644 --> 00:06:19,745
Stop talking, I gotta make
an evil first impression.
154
00:06:19,846 --> 00:06:21,848
Shit, I shoulda thought of
an opening line.
155
00:06:21,949 --> 00:06:23,550
Uh. Good after-doom?
156
00:06:23,649 --> 00:06:25,517
Pleasure to beat ya?
157
00:06:27,920 --> 00:06:30,456
-What the...
-Not so fast, losers!
158
00:06:30,456 --> 00:06:32,259
-Oh, come on.
-Robin? What are ya doing here?
159
00:06:32,259 --> 00:06:33,259
Where's Batman?
160
00:06:33,259 --> 00:06:36,762
You think Batman has time
to deal with you guttersnipes?
161
00:06:36,762 --> 00:06:38,497
You're lucky
I even showed up.
162
00:06:38,598 --> 00:06:40,166
Oh, was Batman
too busy doin' this?
163
00:06:40,266 --> 00:06:42,702
[Batman on recording]
I definitely make love to bats.
164
00:06:42,802 --> 00:06:44,603
Shut up and battle me, nards.
165
00:06:44,704 --> 00:06:46,973
Oh god, last week I was
in the fucking Legion of Doom
166
00:06:47,074 --> 00:06:48,389
and now this is my life.
167
00:06:48,389 --> 00:06:50,978
We're not battlin'
a 12 year-old from
the fuckin' Ren Faire.
168
00:06:50,978 --> 00:06:54,714
I was raised by an elite group
of assassins from birth.
169
00:06:54,814 --> 00:06:56,016
You're a clown.
170
00:06:56,115 --> 00:06:57,684
And an old one at that.
171
00:06:57,685 --> 00:06:58,985
What are you, 30?
172
00:06:59,086 --> 00:07:00,853
[screams] Ow!
You little shit!
173
00:07:01,620 --> 00:07:02,788
[screams]
174
00:07:02,889 --> 00:07:04,524
Hey! What are you doing?
Put me down!
175
00:07:04,624 --> 00:07:07,060
Tell Batman
we're coming for him.
176
00:07:07,161 --> 00:07:09,795
[disco music playing]
177
00:07:09,896 --> 00:07:11,732
...well, Tawny,
then Harley said,
178
00:07:11,733 --> 00:07:13,100
[imitating Harley]
"I'm coming for you."
179
00:07:13,100 --> 00:07:14,466
'Course then
we had a huge battle.
180
00:07:14,567 --> 00:07:15,836
-Mm-hmm!
-Tons of punching.
181
00:07:15,836 --> 00:07:17,603
-Mmm!
-Some lasers. Lotta lasers.
182
00:07:17,603 --> 00:07:18,672
Boy, stop it!
183
00:07:18,771 --> 00:07:20,007
When I beat her butt,
184
00:07:20,007 --> 00:07:22,076
that's when she asked me
to be her nemesis.
185
00:07:22,076 --> 00:07:26,213
-[audience cheering]
-Your first nemesis
at just 12-years old.
186
00:07:26,312 --> 00:07:28,148
Now, are you
a little sweet potato pie?
187
00:07:28,249 --> 00:07:30,600
'Cause I could just eat you up!
188
00:07:30,600 --> 00:07:32,886
Yeah. I'm a little
sweet potato pie.
189
00:07:32,886 --> 00:07:34,254
-[squeals] Oh!
-[audience exclaiming]
190
00:07:34,254 --> 00:07:36,589
[on TV] He's just so cute!
191
00:07:36,689 --> 00:07:38,858
Ah, I gotta tell ya.
I think he's adorable.
192
00:07:38,959 --> 00:07:40,026
[shrieks]
193
00:07:40,127 --> 00:07:41,427
You know what,
this one's on me.
194
00:07:41,427 --> 00:07:43,730
I shoulda known
that this was gonna
put you in a smashy mood.
195
00:07:43,730 --> 00:07:45,564
Robin's lying.
Why would I fight a kid?
196
00:07:45,564 --> 00:07:47,867
[shouts] I want a nemesis with
some hair on their chest!
197
00:07:47,867 --> 00:07:50,002
[clears throat] Well,
that rules out Batman.
198
00:07:50,004 --> 00:07:52,538
[chuckles] Catwoman says
he waxes everything.
199
00:07:52,639 --> 00:07:54,002
You know what?
It's gonna be fine.
200
00:07:54,002 --> 00:07:56,043
Maybe this story
will run one news cycle
and be gone.
201
00:07:56,043 --> 00:07:57,343
I don't think so.
202
00:07:57,343 --> 00:07:59,079
You just got a Google alert
for an article
203
00:07:59,079 --> 00:08:01,148
from the Lois Lane.
204
00:08:01,148 --> 00:08:03,649
And the headline is...
Never mind.
205
00:08:03,649 --> 00:08:04,649
[Harley] Let me see that!
206
00:08:04,649 --> 00:08:07,920
"Harley Quinn Fights Child,
Sets Evil Women's Movement
Back Decades." [gasps]
207
00:08:08,021 --> 00:08:09,723
Well, the headline
is clickbait,
208
00:08:09,723 --> 00:08:12,559
but I bet the article itself
is more positive.
209
00:08:12,559 --> 00:08:13,826
[sarcastically] Really?
You think that?
210
00:08:13,826 --> 00:08:15,728
No, shit!
It's behind a paywall.
211
00:08:15,728 --> 00:08:17,596
Does anyone have a login
for the Daily Planet?
212
00:08:17,596 --> 00:08:19,800
Nope. I already burned through
my five free articles.
213
00:08:19,800 --> 00:08:21,735
I can't subscribe
to another thing.
214
00:08:21,834 --> 00:08:24,036
My inbox is already
swollen with--
215
00:08:24,137 --> 00:08:25,838
Well, I'm not payin'
7.99 a month
216
00:08:25,939 --> 00:08:26,973
to see shit like this!
217
00:08:27,074 --> 00:08:28,074
Let's just kill her.
218
00:08:28,175 --> 00:08:30,209
-Or...
-No. No more "or."
219
00:08:30,310 --> 00:08:33,046
Or we kidnap her
and make her
retract the article.
220
00:08:33,147 --> 00:08:35,948
You can't fuck
with Lois Lane, people.
221
00:08:36,048 --> 00:08:37,850
What if Superman comes?
222
00:08:37,951 --> 00:08:40,552
Great. Then I'll have the most
powerful nemesis in the world.
223
00:08:40,653 --> 00:08:42,221
[sighs] Oh, brother.
224
00:08:42,322 --> 00:08:43,785
[Lois] I don't
retract articles,
225
00:08:43,785 --> 00:08:46,092
and I'm definitely not writing
a puff piece about...
226
00:08:46,092 --> 00:08:47,250
What was your headline?
227
00:08:47,250 --> 00:08:50,029
It's Harley Quinn,
number one supervillain
in the many multiverses,
228
00:08:50,029 --> 00:08:51,730
still hasn't committed
to a nemesis,
229
00:08:51,730 --> 00:08:53,232
much less Robin the Boy Wonder,
230
00:08:53,234 --> 00:08:56,102
or any nemesis
that's boy or bird based.
231
00:08:56,102 --> 00:08:58,004
Ya can punch it up if ya want.
You're the writer.
232
00:08:58,004 --> 00:09:00,240
[laugh] Thanks. No.
233
00:09:00,341 --> 00:09:02,109
Okay, then I'm gonna
have to kill ya.
234
00:09:02,208 --> 00:09:03,210
Okay, go ahead.
235
00:09:05,379 --> 00:09:06,914
[spits and coughs]
236
00:09:06,914 --> 00:09:09,383
I need to remember
to keep my mouth closed
when I bust through walls.
237
00:09:09,383 --> 00:09:11,884
-I've been tellin' ya that.
-Holy shit! It's Supes!
238
00:09:11,985 --> 00:09:13,120
King Shark, get the camera.
239
00:09:13,220 --> 00:09:14,620
Livestream me
fightin' Superman.
240
00:09:14,721 --> 00:09:15,956
My new nemesis.
241
00:09:16,056 --> 00:09:17,291
Okay, you're live.
242
00:09:17,390 --> 00:09:19,058
[Harley] Hey, Superman!
243
00:09:19,058 --> 00:09:21,827
Come get Lois Lame
before I make her a deadline!
244
00:09:21,927 --> 00:09:23,364
[stammers]
That made sense, right?
245
00:09:23,464 --> 00:09:25,131
Is she mad about
the paywall too?
246
00:09:25,231 --> 00:09:27,701
Seven nintey-nine is
an ambitious price point.
247
00:09:27,801 --> 00:09:30,669
And it doesn't include
the crossword, which is ridic.
248
00:09:30,769 --> 00:09:31,971
Ya gonna fight me or what?
249
00:09:32,072 --> 00:09:35,075
[chuckles] Everybody duck.
250
00:09:35,174 --> 00:09:39,111
You were ill-advised to think
you could get away from me,
Harley Quinn.
251
00:09:39,111 --> 00:09:41,215
-[Lois] Aww!
-[groans] Oh god!
252
00:09:41,215 --> 00:09:42,349
Again?
253
00:09:42,349 --> 00:09:43,682
[chuckles] Hey, sport.
254
00:09:43,783 --> 00:09:45,818
I fail to find
the humor in this.
255
00:09:45,918 --> 00:09:47,287
No need to
be nervous, kiddo.
256
00:09:47,388 --> 00:09:49,222
Just step into the box.
You got this!
257
00:09:49,322 --> 00:09:52,091
You're embarrassing me
in front of my nemesis.
258
00:09:52,091 --> 00:09:54,027
Actually I'm not currently
committed to anyone,
259
00:09:54,126 --> 00:09:55,861
but y'know, Supes,
if you're avail, I'm...
260
00:09:55,861 --> 00:09:57,831
Flattered, but I have
a pretty full dance card.
261
00:09:57,931 --> 00:09:59,365
Leave us be, boy scout.
262
00:09:59,365 --> 00:10:01,868
I'm sure there's
a cat up a tree somewhere.
263
00:10:01,969 --> 00:10:03,202
A cat up a tree.
264
00:10:03,303 --> 00:10:05,172
Isn't this just
the cutest thing ever?
265
00:10:05,272 --> 00:10:07,206
Lois, you okay
if the little guy
takes it from here?
266
00:10:07,207 --> 00:10:08,942
Yeah, whatever.
We still doing sushi tonight?
267
00:10:08,942 --> 00:10:11,110
You know how I... roll.
268
00:10:11,211 --> 00:10:12,946
[both groan]
269
00:10:12,946 --> 00:10:15,816
Do me a favor.
Can you untag me
from this whole thing?
270
00:10:15,916 --> 00:10:17,650
You ready to do battle, Quinn?
271
00:10:17,650 --> 00:10:19,119
[sigh] Let's go.
272
00:10:19,119 --> 00:10:20,153
[Robin] That's right.
273
00:10:20,153 --> 00:10:22,855
Run away! Fear me!
274
00:10:22,956 --> 00:10:26,994
[groans] That was the
most humiliatin' t-- [gasps]
275
00:10:27,094 --> 00:10:30,062
Oh my god, Ivy!
You're pregnant? Oh!
276
00:10:30,062 --> 00:10:31,965
This is gonna be
so bad for your career,
277
00:10:32,065 --> 00:10:33,899
but so good for your Instagram.
278
00:10:33,899 --> 00:10:36,403
No. All this shit is for you.
279
00:10:36,403 --> 00:10:37,837
Aww. No baby?
280
00:10:37,837 --> 00:10:38,938
Nope. No baby.
281
00:10:38,938 --> 00:10:40,072
But there is a card.
282
00:10:40,072 --> 00:10:41,707
And it was addressed to you,
283
00:10:41,707 --> 00:10:45,178
so I didn't open it because
I'm not a rude person.
284
00:10:45,278 --> 00:10:48,782
[Joker from card]
Congrats on Robin the cradle.
285
00:10:48,881 --> 00:10:51,384
[laughs] From all your
286
00:10:51,485 --> 00:10:56,056
never-gonna-be-your-friends
at the Legion of Doom.
[cackle]
287
00:10:57,524 --> 00:10:59,389
[coughs]
288
00:10:59,389 --> 00:11:03,129
[sarcastically] Well,
this room was missing
a dusting of ash everywhere.
289
00:11:03,129 --> 00:11:04,465
All right, that's it.
Enough of this shit.
290
00:11:04,465 --> 00:11:05,465
We're killin' Robin.
291
00:11:07,067 --> 00:11:08,768
Harley, you can't kill him.
292
00:11:08,769 --> 00:11:10,336
You don't think I can
kill a 12-year-old?
293
00:11:10,336 --> 00:11:11,336
Oh, okay.
294
00:11:11,336 --> 00:11:12,687
Well, I will smash in his face
295
00:11:12,687 --> 00:11:15,274
[shouts] with a bat
like a watermelon!
296
00:11:15,375 --> 00:11:18,479
Oh, no, no.
I believe you have
the ability to kill him.
297
00:11:18,479 --> 00:11:20,113
What I'm saying is,
298
00:11:20,114 --> 00:11:22,048
if you do it, you validate
what everyone's saying.
299
00:11:22,048 --> 00:11:23,115
That Robin's your nemesis.
300
00:11:23,216 --> 00:11:24,951
Also, you'd be a child killer,
301
00:11:25,052 --> 00:11:26,952
which some may argue is worse.
302
00:11:27,053 --> 00:11:28,120
Unless...
303
00:11:28,120 --> 00:11:30,023
Ah, you've got that "or" face.
304
00:11:30,023 --> 00:11:31,725
Just... Can you make
your eyebrows normal?
305
00:11:31,725 --> 00:11:33,192
-I've...
-Yes?
306
00:11:33,293 --> 00:11:34,692
No no, I wasn't
sayin' your name.
307
00:11:34,692 --> 00:11:37,197
I was sayin' "I've"
as in I've got a plan.
308
00:11:37,297 --> 00:11:39,365
[Dr. Psycho] Listen shark-man,
get in the tank.
309
00:11:39,466 --> 00:11:41,268
All you gotta do is swim around
310
00:11:41,368 --> 00:11:43,937
and scare the kid so bad
he admits he's lying.
311
00:11:44,037 --> 00:11:46,037
Oh, I-I'm not
that kind of shark.
312
00:11:46,038 --> 00:11:48,075
I'm more of
the tech savvy kind.
313
00:11:48,174 --> 00:11:49,174
It's fine.
314
00:11:49,174 --> 00:11:51,077
I can play
the role of shark
if he won't.
315
00:11:51,177 --> 00:11:52,346
[shouts] Roar!
316
00:11:52,446 --> 00:11:56,350
'Tis I,
the violent type of shark!
317
00:11:56,450 --> 00:11:58,284
Straight from
the beaches of Amity!
318
00:11:58,384 --> 00:12:02,288
Fear my rows of teeth,
my unpredictable nature.
319
00:12:02,288 --> 00:12:05,625
Yeah, that's offensive
in a number of ways.
320
00:12:05,625 --> 00:12:07,461
I-I'll just be the shark.
321
00:12:07,561 --> 00:12:09,129
But, just to
double check here.
322
00:12:09,229 --> 00:12:11,398
I-I'm not gonna
do any biting, right?
323
00:12:11,498 --> 00:12:13,832
'Cause I do not
do well around blood.
324
00:12:13,933 --> 00:12:15,201
No blood.
325
00:12:15,302 --> 00:12:17,336
You're just supposed
to scare him.
326
00:12:17,336 --> 00:12:20,407
-I got him!
-[Robin grunts]
327
00:12:20,506 --> 00:12:22,042
[struggling grunts]
328
00:12:22,110 --> 00:12:23,110
[ominous music playing]
329
00:12:23,110 --> 00:12:24,910
[struggling grunts]
330
00:12:27,514 --> 00:12:29,349
-You're gonna die, Robin!
-[Robin grunts]
331
00:12:29,450 --> 00:12:31,618
Admit it!
Admit we never battled.
332
00:12:31,619 --> 00:12:33,586
I never asked you
to be my nemesis.
333
00:12:33,586 --> 00:12:35,054
Unhand me, you freak.
334
00:12:35,054 --> 00:12:37,256
Not until you tell
the truth about us.
335
00:12:37,256 --> 00:12:38,857
Why would I
ever tell the truth?
336
00:12:38,958 --> 00:12:42,162
I'm Gotham's little
sweet potato pie, remember?
337
00:12:42,162 --> 00:12:45,899
Those rubes will believe
anything I say.
338
00:12:45,899 --> 00:12:47,533
-[audience exclaiming]
-[Mr. Psycho laughs] Busted!
339
00:12:47,533 --> 00:12:49,570
[Harley] Ya hear that, Tawny?
He admitted he lied.
340
00:12:49,570 --> 00:12:51,804
Tawny? You set me up, Quinn.
341
00:12:51,904 --> 00:12:53,307
[Tawny] Mm-mm-mm!
342
00:12:53,307 --> 00:12:56,109
My, oh my, how the
sweet potato pie has crumbled.
343
00:12:56,109 --> 00:12:57,143
[audience booing]
344
00:12:57,144 --> 00:12:58,477
So, as everyone can see,
345
00:12:58,479 --> 00:13:01,014
I could'a killed him
any time I wanted,
346
00:13:01,014 --> 00:13:03,350
but I didn't 'cause he's a kid
and kids are gross.
347
00:13:03,450 --> 00:13:06,086
Also, he is not my nemesis.
348
00:13:06,186 --> 00:13:07,421
[comical sounds playing]
349
00:13:08,422 --> 00:13:11,121
[audience booing]
350
00:13:18,331 --> 00:13:20,400
[ominous music playing]
351
00:13:20,500 --> 00:13:22,201
[King Shark sniffs] Blood!
352
00:13:22,302 --> 00:13:24,904
[growls] Ooh! Blood!
353
00:13:25,004 --> 00:13:26,573
[Robin screams]
354
00:13:26,673 --> 00:13:28,140
[shouting frantically] Help me!
355
00:13:28,241 --> 00:13:29,610
[King Shark growling]
356
00:13:29,710 --> 00:13:31,477
[groans] Aw, shit.
357
00:13:31,578 --> 00:13:34,014
Woo! He gonna get eaten!
358
00:13:34,114 --> 00:13:37,149
Please! I'll bring you on stage
at the VMAs next week!
359
00:13:37,250 --> 00:13:39,620
[frantically] Abort! Abort!
King Shark, heel!
360
00:13:39,720 --> 00:13:41,087
-[Robin] Let me down! Help!
-Oh, you know what?
This must be that
361
00:13:41,187 --> 00:13:43,155
"not being good
with blood" thing.
362
00:13:43,256 --> 00:13:44,357
-I thought it just meant
he got a little fainty.
-[Robin screaming]
363
00:13:44,457 --> 00:13:45,525
I did too.
364
00:13:45,525 --> 00:13:46,559
It was misleading.
365
00:13:46,559 --> 00:13:47,561
[laughs] How funny.
366
00:13:47,660 --> 00:13:49,062
[growls]
367
00:13:49,162 --> 00:13:51,063
-Hey! Stop that! Help!
-[Harley grunts]
368
00:13:51,163 --> 00:13:52,265
[roars]
369
00:13:55,302 --> 00:13:57,003
[audience] Aww!
370
00:13:57,104 --> 00:13:59,339
-[King Shark growls]
-[audience screams]
371
00:13:59,440 --> 00:14:02,174
[growls] I'll kill you all!
372
00:14:02,275 --> 00:14:04,445
[Tawny screams]
Everybody run!
373
00:14:04,544 --> 00:14:06,647
[Robin screaming] Help! Help!
374
00:14:06,746 --> 00:14:08,048
Batman! Batman!
375
00:14:08,148 --> 00:14:10,650
-[growls]
-[screams] Father! Help!
376
00:14:10,750 --> 00:14:13,153
-No! Dad! Help!
-[growls]
377
00:14:15,121 --> 00:14:18,871
-[screaming]
-[growling]
378
00:14:25,499 --> 00:14:28,000
[Tawny] Ladies
and gentleman, Batman!
379
00:14:28,100 --> 00:14:29,903
[audience cheering]
380
00:14:30,003 --> 00:14:31,004
What is this?
381
00:14:31,104 --> 00:14:33,173
Tawny? Are we live on Tawny?
382
00:14:33,173 --> 00:14:34,508
What the hell
are you doing, Quinn?
383
00:14:34,508 --> 00:14:36,009
Changin' the optics?
384
00:14:36,009 --> 00:14:37,778
You almost killed my ward.
385
00:14:37,778 --> 00:14:40,346
You're going to Arkham
for good, Quinn.
386
00:14:40,447 --> 00:14:43,283
[comical sounds playing]
387
00:14:43,383 --> 00:14:44,985
[birds chirping]
388
00:14:45,085 --> 00:14:46,952
[alarm bells ringing]
389
00:14:49,155 --> 00:14:52,458
Bring it on, Bats! [laughs]
390
00:14:53,193 --> 00:14:54,193
Bats?
391
00:14:54,193 --> 00:14:55,961
[ringing continues]
392
00:14:56,730 --> 00:14:59,032
-[car honks]
-Batman?
393
00:14:59,131 --> 00:15:00,500
-[car honks]
-Is he... [groans]
394
00:15:00,600 --> 00:15:02,067
This is no fun.
395
00:15:02,168 --> 00:15:03,470
Uh... Uh... boss?
396
00:15:03,570 --> 00:15:05,471
Uh, uh, uh, what, Steve?
397
00:15:05,572 --> 00:15:07,173
Spit it the fuck out.
398
00:15:08,073 --> 00:15:09,442
Oh, what the hell?
399
00:15:09,543 --> 00:15:12,346
-[Harley grunts on TV]
-[disco music playing]
400
00:15:13,614 --> 00:15:15,381
Oh, what the hell?
401
00:15:15,481 --> 00:15:18,552
Okay. So, Batman blames Harley
for endangering his ward,
402
00:15:18,652 --> 00:15:19,851
but Harley says
403
00:15:19,852 --> 00:15:22,456
she's just a supervillain
looking for an
adult-size nemesis.
404
00:15:22,456 --> 00:15:23,756
Y'all know what
I'm talking about, right?
405
00:15:23,756 --> 00:15:25,424
[Harley grunting]
406
00:15:28,495 --> 00:15:31,794
[audience applauding]
407
00:15:35,802 --> 00:15:37,336
[groans]
408
00:15:37,437 --> 00:15:40,039
Use your fisticuffs, Harley!
409
00:15:40,139 --> 00:15:41,375
Game over, Quinn.
410
00:15:41,475 --> 00:15:42,975
[loud thudding]
411
00:15:45,144 --> 00:15:46,446
Let her go!
412
00:15:46,547 --> 00:15:49,216
Ivy! Always a delight.
413
00:15:50,317 --> 00:15:51,719
[audience screaming]
414
00:15:53,754 --> 00:15:56,990
[Batman grunts]
415
00:16:00,399 --> 00:16:02,000
-[Tawny squeals]
-[audience exclaiming]
416
00:16:02,000 --> 00:16:03,196
This is getting
too good, y'all.
417
00:16:03,196 --> 00:16:04,764
Ive! You came to save me.
418
00:16:04,865 --> 00:16:06,232
Look, I always do.
419
00:16:06,232 --> 00:16:08,134
My entire existence
seems to be spent
420
00:16:08,134 --> 00:16:09,436
cleaning up
your fuckin' messes.
421
00:16:09,535 --> 00:16:10,636
[audience exclaiming]
422
00:16:10,738 --> 00:16:11,738
Is that gonna be bleeped?
423
00:16:11,738 --> 00:16:13,440
Please welcome
another surprise guest,
424
00:16:13,539 --> 00:16:16,342
-supervillain Poison Ivy.
-Nope.
425
00:16:16,342 --> 00:16:17,344
[disco music playing]
426
00:16:17,443 --> 00:16:18,552
Not a guest.
427
00:16:18,552 --> 00:16:21,648
-Also, I actually identify
as an eco-terrorist, so...
-[audience cheering]
428
00:16:21,749 --> 00:16:24,216
Seems like you're having
some animosity towards Harley
429
00:16:24,317 --> 00:16:25,719
for not respecting
your boundaries.
430
00:16:25,818 --> 00:16:27,120
Am I right audience?
431
00:16:27,220 --> 00:16:28,688
[audience booing]
432
00:16:28,688 --> 00:16:30,123
Tell us how you feel.
433
00:16:30,123 --> 00:16:31,625
-No, no, no. Not gonna do that.
-Okay.
434
00:16:31,625 --> 00:16:33,125
But, since I'm here.
435
00:16:33,225 --> 00:16:34,695
If I could just...
436
00:16:34,695 --> 00:16:37,264
You don't have to
rinse out your cans and bottles
437
00:16:37,364 --> 00:16:39,399
before putting them
in the recycling bin, okay?
438
00:16:39,500 --> 00:16:41,301
That's just a myth
and it wastes water.
439
00:16:41,400 --> 00:16:42,535
[suspenseful music playing]
440
00:16:45,538 --> 00:16:46,706
[audience cheering]
441
00:16:46,706 --> 00:16:48,173
-[boy] Go, Batman!
-N-n-no, no. Sit.
442
00:16:48,174 --> 00:16:49,174
[King Shark] Aww.
443
00:16:50,443 --> 00:16:51,443
[Harley grunts]
444
00:16:52,613 --> 00:16:54,748
[all cheering]
445
00:16:54,849 --> 00:16:57,250
[dramatic music playing]
446
00:16:57,350 --> 00:16:59,600
[all grunting]
447
00:17:07,760 --> 00:17:08,760
[both grunt]
448
00:17:08,761 --> 00:17:10,230
-[audience] Ooh!
-[gasps]
449
00:17:10,329 --> 00:17:11,329
[Harley chuckles]
450
00:17:12,231 --> 00:17:15,382
[grunting continues]
451
00:17:17,403 --> 00:17:18,739
[Ivy and Harley laugh]
452
00:17:20,840 --> 00:17:25,345
Kill him, Ivy!
453
00:17:25,378 --> 00:17:28,214
Harley! What the fuck
do you think you're doing?
454
00:17:28,315 --> 00:17:30,851
[squeals] Ooh-hoo-hoo!
455
00:17:30,951 --> 00:17:32,318
It's getting heated!
456
00:17:32,318 --> 00:17:35,321
Are you trying
to steal my Batman?
457
00:17:35,321 --> 00:17:37,190
-Joker!
- Uh, Batman.
458
00:17:37,289 --> 00:17:39,692
[chuckles] Joker seems
to claim you as his nemesis.
459
00:17:39,792 --> 00:17:41,828
But you came here
to fight, Harley.
460
00:17:41,828 --> 00:17:43,497
And now... [laughs]
461
00:17:43,596 --> 00:17:45,732
...you're fighting Ivy.
Which one is it?
462
00:17:45,833 --> 00:17:48,101
Me! I'm his, he's mine.
463
00:17:48,201 --> 00:17:49,702
I mean, we're together. Ha!
464
00:17:49,803 --> 00:17:50,804
[shouts] Oh!
465
00:17:50,904 --> 00:17:53,405
[audience] Tawny! Tawny! Tawny!
466
00:17:53,406 --> 00:17:56,542
[chanting continues on screen]
467
00:17:56,643 --> 00:17:58,178
[man cheering]
I love you, Tawny!
468
00:17:58,278 --> 00:18:00,528
[all grunting]
469
00:18:03,549 --> 00:18:04,549
[beeping]
470
00:18:06,720 --> 00:18:07,820
[all gasp]
471
00:18:07,922 --> 00:18:08,922
[Harley growls angrily]
472
00:18:11,324 --> 00:18:13,574
[Joker laughs]
473
00:18:17,497 --> 00:18:18,498
Dad!
474
00:18:18,598 --> 00:18:20,267
[audience screaming]
475
00:18:20,366 --> 00:18:21,769
[Joker laughs]
476
00:18:23,670 --> 00:18:25,571
[disco music playing]
477
00:18:25,672 --> 00:18:26,906
[screaming continues]
478
00:18:27,907 --> 00:18:28,907
[beeping]
479
00:18:30,305 --> 00:18:31,305
Robin!
480
00:18:31,305 --> 00:18:33,881
If you want to see
the Boy Wonder alive again,
481
00:18:33,980 --> 00:18:37,483
you better start showing up
to my cool crimes.
482
00:18:39,318 --> 00:18:41,520
[audience screaming]
483
00:18:41,622 --> 00:18:44,290
Oh! What a show,
folks! [laughs]
484
00:18:44,391 --> 00:18:47,294
-Well, I am spent.
-[audience cheering
and clapping]
485
00:18:47,394 --> 00:18:48,862
Well stay tuned 'cause up next,
486
00:18:48,962 --> 00:18:51,330
we're bringing out
those rescued ferrets.
487
00:18:51,431 --> 00:18:52,865
[squeals] Ooh!
I wanna squeeze one!
488
00:18:52,967 --> 00:18:54,534
Nope. Come on. We're leaving.
489
00:18:57,336 --> 00:18:59,306
[Poison Ivy sighs] Well,
that was a shit show.
490
00:18:59,306 --> 00:19:01,093
Yeah! But, it was a fun show.
491
00:19:01,093 --> 00:19:03,777
-Except for Batman
kickin' my ass on live TV.
-[Harley grunts on TV]
492
00:19:03,876 --> 00:19:05,645
At least you got
a swag bag, right?
493
00:19:05,746 --> 00:19:07,847
Ooh! Look at this.
Organic shampoo.
494
00:19:07,948 --> 00:19:10,383
Ugh! It says for
fine to normal hair. Damn it.
495
00:19:10,483 --> 00:19:11,785
I can't believe after all this,
496
00:19:11,884 --> 00:19:13,486
I still don't have a nemesis.
497
00:19:13,487 --> 00:19:15,221
You know what?
You can't force it.
498
00:19:15,221 --> 00:19:17,490
-I mean, there's someone
out there just for you.
-[sighs]
499
00:19:17,490 --> 00:19:19,893
Do the crimes
that make you happy
and the rest will come.
500
00:19:19,893 --> 00:19:21,929
JKH, right? Just keep heisting.
501
00:19:22,028 --> 00:19:23,696
JK's already a thing.
502
00:19:23,696 --> 00:19:25,731
You add an 'H' to it,
and I don't know what that is.
503
00:19:25,731 --> 00:19:26,866
It's muddled.
504
00:19:26,866 --> 00:19:28,060
Yeah, I'm not here
to workshop this.
505
00:19:28,060 --> 00:19:29,736
Thanks for always
givin' me great advice, Ive.
506
00:19:29,736 --> 00:19:31,304
Even if I don't always use it.
507
00:19:31,403 --> 00:19:32,571
You actually never use it.
508
00:19:32,673 --> 00:19:34,508
But I love
never usin' your advice
509
00:19:34,508 --> 00:19:36,977
more than
anyone else's advice
I never use.
510
00:19:37,076 --> 00:19:38,878
Also, listen, I am very sorry
511
00:19:38,878 --> 00:19:40,980
for the way me and my crew
have been treating' your place.
512
00:19:40,980 --> 00:19:42,782
That changes today.
513
00:19:42,782 --> 00:19:45,652
Yes. We promise
to keep your apartment
much cleaner.
514
00:19:45,751 --> 00:19:47,220
Wait, why is he cleaning?
515
00:19:47,220 --> 00:19:49,690
Did you add that
giant shark to your crew?
516
00:19:49,690 --> 00:19:51,892
Actually, I'm a
normal-sized shark,
517
00:19:51,991 --> 00:19:54,326
but I suppose
I am large for a man.
518
00:19:54,426 --> 00:19:56,229
And yes, I'm in the crew.
519
00:19:56,229 --> 00:19:59,665
It's just nice to be
on a schedule. [laughs]
520
00:19:59,666 --> 00:20:01,500
Yeah, you saw what he can do
when he flips out.
521
00:20:01,500 --> 00:20:02,803
I mean, how am I
gonna say no to that?
522
00:20:02,803 --> 00:20:04,738
Plus, he does computer good.
523
00:20:04,837 --> 00:20:07,606
That's it, you're outta here!
524
00:20:07,607 --> 00:20:09,609
This is a
formal eviction notice!
525
00:20:09,710 --> 00:20:12,278
You're evicting me?
On what grounds?
526
00:20:12,378 --> 00:20:14,615
Your lease says no pets!
527
00:20:14,714 --> 00:20:16,583
-Him!
-Well, that's racist!
528
00:20:16,682 --> 00:20:18,751
O-or at the
very least xenophobic.
529
00:20:18,751 --> 00:20:19,751
Xena who?
530
00:20:19,751 --> 00:20:22,021
The bikini broad with
a sword as big as she is?
531
00:20:22,021 --> 00:20:23,226
I love her!
532
00:20:23,226 --> 00:20:25,258
But that shark's been
coming in here all week.
533
00:20:25,258 --> 00:20:26,287
Please, Sy.
534
00:20:26,287 --> 00:20:27,760
I love this apartment
more than anything.
535
00:20:27,760 --> 00:20:29,362
I-I'll kick them out.
536
00:20:29,362 --> 00:20:30,529
I'll kick all of them out.
537
00:20:30,529 --> 00:20:32,833
Too late!
You're evicted, honey.
538
00:20:32,932 --> 00:20:36,435
Hey! At least you don't
have to keep cleaning up
after us any more, right?
539
00:20:36,435 --> 00:20:38,080
[stammers] 'Cause you know,
let's be honest.
540
00:20:38,080 --> 00:20:39,740
-It was really
only gonna get worse.
-[Ivy growls]
541
00:20:39,839 --> 00:20:41,340
-[loud thud]
-[glass cracking]
542
00:20:43,076 --> 00:20:45,679
[sighs] We can split that one.
543
00:20:45,679 --> 00:20:46,679
Sounds fair.
544
00:20:46,712 --> 00:20:48,315
[somber music playing]
545
00:20:50,483 --> 00:20:52,885
Damian, I made your favorite.
546
00:20:52,987 --> 00:20:55,655
You didn't make that.
Alfred made that.
547
00:20:55,756 --> 00:21:00,094
I made him make it.
548
00:21:00,126 --> 00:21:02,496
Are you mad because
I had to save you from Joker?
549
00:21:02,596 --> 00:21:04,396
No. I'm livid because
550
00:21:04,397 --> 00:21:07,567
everyone in Teen Titans
is getting a nemesis,
except me.
551
00:21:07,667 --> 00:21:10,336
[sigh] I'm gonna say
something embarrassing here.
552
00:21:10,436 --> 00:21:13,539
I didn't have
a nemesis until
553
00:21:13,640 --> 00:21:14,641
my late 20s.
554
00:21:14,740 --> 00:21:16,308
Don't patronize me, Father.
555
00:21:16,308 --> 00:21:17,344
It's unbecoming.
556
00:21:17,344 --> 00:21:18,411
It's true.
557
00:21:18,411 --> 00:21:19,813
I wasn't ready for one.
558
00:21:19,913 --> 00:21:21,949
You want your first nemesis
to be special.
559
00:21:22,048 --> 00:21:24,416
Someone who you could see
being your nemesis
560
00:21:24,416 --> 00:21:25,885
for the rest of your life.
561
00:21:25,885 --> 00:21:27,887
I suppose you're right, Father.
562
00:21:27,988 --> 00:21:29,957
When can I start having sex?
563
00:21:30,057 --> 00:21:31,590
I think I hear the Bat Signal.
564
00:21:32,659 --> 00:21:34,426
[end theme music playing]