1 00:00:22,321 --> 00:00:24,089 [bubbling] 2 00:00:24,190 --> 00:00:27,760 Please! Please don't! Come on, I got a family! 3 00:00:27,861 --> 00:00:29,300 -[screams] -[splashes] 4 00:00:29,300 --> 00:00:30,897 [realtor] Now, that's just a staging kill, 5 00:00:30,897 --> 00:00:33,432 but if volcano sacrifices is your thing, 6 00:00:33,533 --> 00:00:35,301 this is the lair for you. 7 00:00:35,301 --> 00:00:36,993 -I'll take it! -Great! 8 00:00:36,993 --> 00:00:39,405 -I'll draw up the papers-- -Aah... You know, on the other hand, 9 00:00:39,506 --> 00:00:42,241 is the giant skull a bit too flashy for my brand? 10 00:00:42,341 --> 00:00:44,310 Can we see some other options? 11 00:00:44,411 --> 00:00:47,447 You'll love this one. A short getaway from all the major banks. 12 00:00:47,447 --> 00:00:49,383 Sounds like a dream. Where is it? 13 00:00:49,482 --> 00:00:51,183 [realtor] You're standing on it. 14 00:00:51,283 --> 00:00:54,621 An intricate system of tunnels carved by The Mole. 15 00:00:54,621 --> 00:00:58,191 I mean, hey, I love it, but am I really going for a "mole lady" vibe? 16 00:00:58,290 --> 00:01:00,259 [sighs] Ah, okay. Next! 17 00:01:00,259 --> 00:01:02,462 [realtor] The last tenant, Mr. Freeze, did a number on the place, 18 00:01:02,563 --> 00:01:05,432 but the castle is perfect for entertaining. 19 00:01:05,531 --> 00:01:07,167 Hmm, not sure my nips 20 00:01:07,266 --> 00:01:08,868 and her buds can handle this cold. 21 00:01:08,968 --> 00:01:11,203 [sighs] You've seen six lairs. 22 00:01:11,304 --> 00:01:12,572 Okay, thank you. 23 00:01:12,673 --> 00:01:15,676 Let's just discuss this out of the cold. 24 00:01:15,775 --> 00:01:19,412 A super villain's lair is a reflection of who they really are. 25 00:01:19,412 --> 00:01:21,715 So, who is Harley Quinn? 26 00:01:21,715 --> 00:01:23,283 That's a hard question to ans-- 27 00:01:23,283 --> 00:01:25,251 Harls, you got us uniforms! 28 00:01:25,352 --> 00:01:28,355 [excitedly] Ooh, Suicide Squad! Is that our name? 29 00:01:28,454 --> 00:01:30,823 Ugh, it's a group that keeps trying to get me to join. 30 00:01:30,924 --> 00:01:32,725 I don't want to run lines with you. 31 00:01:32,825 --> 00:01:35,227 Good! Because I despise that phrase. 32 00:01:35,328 --> 00:01:37,831 People run marathons, not lines. 33 00:01:37,932 --> 00:01:40,266 Actors exchange true-- 34 00:01:40,367 --> 00:01:41,534 Look what Harley got us. 35 00:01:41,635 --> 00:01:43,236 -[Dr. Psycho] Ah! Ah! Come on! -[sighs] 36 00:01:43,335 --> 00:01:46,239 Ivy, you're evicted! You and the circus act here 37 00:01:46,338 --> 00:01:49,376 need to move out faster than sauerkraut through my lower intestine. 38 00:01:49,376 --> 00:01:51,311 [irritated] Yes, Sy! We're leaving in a minute. 39 00:01:51,311 --> 00:01:53,614 Good. I'm showing the place to-- 40 00:01:53,713 --> 00:01:56,617 [yelling] That just cost you your security deposit! 41 00:01:56,617 --> 00:01:58,618 You know what, why don't I come back another time? 42 00:01:58,618 --> 00:02:00,519 No, sorry, sorry, don't go. Don't go. 43 00:02:00,620 --> 00:02:03,290 Look, [sighs] it's just Joker made the big decisions. 44 00:02:03,390 --> 00:02:04,625 Okay. How about we ask you 45 00:02:04,625 --> 00:02:06,358 some questions and maybe that'll help? 46 00:02:06,459 --> 00:02:09,295 Worth a shot. Why did you first become a villain? 47 00:02:09,395 --> 00:02:10,764 Well, you know, it's because-- 48 00:02:10,764 --> 00:02:12,298 There you go. You know this answer. 49 00:02:12,299 --> 00:02:14,266 -Uh, well... -You know this. 50 00:02:14,366 --> 00:02:15,836 [sighs] I guess... 51 00:02:15,836 --> 00:02:17,270 -I don't know. -Oh, my God. 52 00:02:17,270 --> 00:02:18,806 What villain do you most admire? 53 00:02:18,906 --> 00:02:20,372 -[irritated] I don't know! -Harley! 54 00:02:20,373 --> 00:02:21,807 -Chocolate or vanilla! -I don't know! 55 00:02:21,808 --> 00:02:25,444 Harley! I can't help you, until you tell me 56 00:02:25,444 --> 00:02:27,614 who you are! 57 00:02:27,614 --> 00:02:31,251 -I don't know! I don't know! I don't know! [screams] -[bone crunches] 58 00:02:34,554 --> 00:02:36,657 Oh, shit. Harley? 59 00:02:36,757 --> 00:02:38,825 -Honey, can you hear me? -[Mr. Psycho grunts] 60 00:02:38,925 --> 00:02:41,662 "Dry clean only." Fuck this. 61 00:02:41,762 --> 00:02:43,497 Okay, who broke Harley? 62 00:02:43,597 --> 00:02:45,564 [theme music playing] 63 00:02:48,300 --> 00:02:49,870 Harley, are you in there? 64 00:02:50,670 --> 00:02:51,838 Dude? 65 00:02:51,938 --> 00:02:53,340 -[Poison Ivy] Whoa! Stop! -[laughs] 66 00:02:53,340 --> 00:02:55,307 Unmouth her, fiend! 67 00:02:55,407 --> 00:02:56,877 I was just trying to give her CPR. 68 00:02:56,977 --> 00:02:58,611 Harley, snap out of it! Come on! 69 00:02:58,711 --> 00:03:00,614 Ah! No response to physical stimuli. 70 00:03:00,713 --> 00:03:02,649 It's probably a level-four brain freeze. 71 00:03:02,748 --> 00:03:05,251 Psycho, can you fix her? Like, go in her brain 72 00:03:05,352 --> 00:03:06,687 and do the fucking thing. 73 00:03:06,687 --> 00:03:09,522 That sounds like something a doctor could do. 74 00:03:09,622 --> 00:03:12,224 But not someone you just referred to as "Psycho." 75 00:03:12,224 --> 00:03:14,627 Ugh, fine, Dr. Psycho! 76 00:03:14,728 --> 00:03:16,295 [exclaims] Yes! 77 00:03:16,395 --> 00:03:18,264 Can you fix her? 78 00:03:18,365 --> 00:03:21,769 Can I fix her? [laughs] Of course I can fix her! 79 00:03:21,868 --> 00:03:23,569 I'm just gonna slip inside her brain, 80 00:03:23,569 --> 00:03:25,104 do my thing, wham-bam, thank you, ma'am-- 81 00:03:25,105 --> 00:03:26,873 and I'm done in-a two minutes. 82 00:03:26,973 --> 00:03:30,711 Oh, fucking gross! You think I'm gonna let you creep around 83 00:03:30,811 --> 00:03:32,445 Harley's head without us, you perv? 84 00:03:32,545 --> 00:03:34,981 -Yes! Perv! -You're the perv! 85 00:03:35,000 --> 00:03:38,418 But, as a professional, I will tell you to prepare 86 00:03:38,418 --> 00:03:41,520 because this is serious, meticulous, neuron processing 87 00:03:41,622 --> 00:03:42,923 we're about to undertake. 88 00:03:43,022 --> 00:03:44,557 Now, everyone hold hands 89 00:03:44,557 --> 00:03:49,557 and squeeze your butt cheeks together. 90 00:03:50,030 --> 00:03:51,030 Ahh! 91 00:04:00,907 --> 00:04:03,157 [all screaming] 92 00:04:09,650 --> 00:04:11,617 -[thudding] -[screaming] 93 00:04:11,717 --> 00:04:13,787 -Whoa! Everyone okay? -[grunts] 94 00:04:13,887 --> 00:04:15,756 -Where's Psycho? -[exclaims] 95 00:04:15,855 --> 00:04:18,492 [grunts] Dr. Psycho! 96 00:04:18,591 --> 00:04:21,028 What an ugly baby I have birthed. 97 00:04:21,127 --> 00:04:24,396 Does he taste like fudge? In my dreams, he does. [giggles] 98 00:04:24,497 --> 00:04:27,434 [Poison Ivy] Huh, Harley's brain is much cleaner 99 00:04:27,533 --> 00:04:29,670 and less Harley-ish than I would have imagined. 100 00:04:29,769 --> 00:04:34,440 I know! I know. Because this is her Museum of Memories. 101 00:04:34,540 --> 00:04:37,444 Oh! Look. 102 00:04:37,543 --> 00:04:39,478 [Harley imitating female doll] You came home late again, Nick, 103 00:04:39,478 --> 00:04:41,581 smelling like alcohol and whore. 104 00:04:41,581 --> 00:04:43,050 [imitates male doll] She's just a friend from work. 105 00:04:43,050 --> 00:04:44,884 Stop breathing down my neck, Sharon. 106 00:04:44,884 --> 00:04:46,418 [imitates female doll] Can't breathe down what's not there, 107 00:04:46,418 --> 00:04:47,821 you cocksucker! 108 00:04:47,920 --> 00:04:49,956 [Laughing] Mamma mia! 109 00:04:50,057 --> 00:04:52,992 It's pretty good scene work for a six-year-old. 110 00:04:53,093 --> 00:04:55,829 I am honored to be the valedictorian, 111 00:04:55,928 --> 00:04:59,899 and I just want to thank absolutely no one. 112 00:05:00,000 --> 00:05:01,535 -Fuck all of ya! -[crowd gasps] 113 00:05:01,535 --> 00:05:03,670 Fuck the principal. Fuck the shop teacher 114 00:05:03,769 --> 00:05:06,372 that looks at my ass every time I walk out of class. 115 00:05:06,473 --> 00:05:07,807 Yeah, I see you. 116 00:05:07,908 --> 00:05:09,976 -Have a great fucking summer! -[crowd murmuring] 117 00:05:10,076 --> 00:05:12,379 I basically gave the same speech at my sister's wedding. 118 00:05:12,478 --> 00:05:14,014 -Ah! Harley! -Oh, hey, guys. 119 00:05:14,113 --> 00:05:16,583 Wait. How can Harley be in here 120 00:05:16,682 --> 00:05:19,653 if we're in Harley, and if Harley is-- 121 00:05:19,752 --> 00:05:22,355 Yeah, I wouldn't think too hard about bringing logic for the next 20 minutes. 122 00:05:22,355 --> 00:05:24,057 We're just here to give you a hard reboot. 123 00:05:24,057 --> 00:05:26,625 -[King Shark] Ooh. Ow! -Uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, listen up. 124 00:05:26,726 --> 00:05:29,495 While I find the switch, you follow hooker rules. 125 00:05:29,596 --> 00:05:31,130 -No kissing on the mouth? -I'm sorry. 126 00:05:31,232 --> 00:05:32,499 Stripper rules. 127 00:05:32,598 --> 00:05:34,233 Look but don't touch. 128 00:05:34,235 --> 00:05:37,004 The brain will protect itself if it feels threatened. 129 00:05:37,103 --> 00:05:39,505 Hey, Ive, I think there's something really screwed up about me. 130 00:05:39,505 --> 00:05:41,574 I want to say this in just the most loving way, 131 00:05:41,675 --> 00:05:44,711 but, there's no way that this is just occurring to you now? 132 00:05:44,711 --> 00:05:47,480 No, I mean, screwed up on top of the regular screwed up. 133 00:05:47,480 --> 00:05:48,848 I mean, why can't I make a decision? 134 00:05:48,848 --> 00:05:50,584 Well, we're in your mind right now, 135 00:05:50,584 --> 00:05:53,052 so the answer has to be here somewhere. 136 00:05:53,153 --> 00:05:54,687 [Harley] Oh, I remember this! 137 00:05:54,687 --> 00:05:56,990 Okay, it's when that bleached asshole pushed me 138 00:05:56,990 --> 00:05:58,891 and bleached mine. Look! Look! 139 00:06:00,694 --> 00:06:03,829 Hey, it glitched and skipped over Joker pushing me. 140 00:06:03,831 --> 00:06:05,464 Wha-- It did it again. Did you see that? 141 00:06:05,564 --> 00:06:06,833 Whoa, that's weird. 142 00:06:06,834 --> 00:06:08,601 It's like a piece of your memory is missing. 143 00:06:08,601 --> 00:06:11,872 Ive, this is my origin story. It says so right here. 144 00:06:11,971 --> 00:06:14,774 Look, your origin story's how you become who you are. 145 00:06:14,774 --> 00:06:16,976 If it's screwed up, no surprise I am. 146 00:06:17,076 --> 00:06:18,177 Ugh, let me see this. 147 00:06:18,778 --> 00:06:20,579 [laughs] 148 00:06:20,680 --> 00:06:22,749 Reboot time. [grunts] 149 00:06:22,848 --> 00:06:24,584 Um, I, uh, I wouldn't do that. 150 00:06:24,684 --> 00:06:26,052 I wouldn't-- Oh! 151 00:06:26,153 --> 00:06:27,687 -[alarm blaring] -[grunts] 152 00:06:27,788 --> 00:06:30,490 [exclaims angrily] No one listens to me! 153 00:06:30,490 --> 00:06:32,091 Who touched something? Who did it? 154 00:06:32,192 --> 00:06:34,860 Was I not clear about the stripper rule? 155 00:06:34,961 --> 00:06:36,562 I was just trying to touch myself! 156 00:06:36,663 --> 00:06:38,031 That is a stripper rule. 157 00:06:38,132 --> 00:06:40,600 [grunts] You triggered a brain lockdown. 158 00:06:40,701 --> 00:06:42,702 We need to get out of here before-- 159 00:06:42,802 --> 00:06:45,672 Ah! Before that happens. Now we're trapped. 160 00:06:45,771 --> 00:06:48,007 [Sy] Now, this apartment's a beaut. 161 00:06:48,108 --> 00:06:51,610 It's got a lot of light. Perfect place for a fami-- 162 00:06:51,711 --> 00:06:53,947 Jesus Christ! 163 00:06:54,048 --> 00:06:56,516 All right, the place isn't ready. You'll come back tomorrow. Tomorrow. 164 00:06:56,615 --> 00:06:58,918 Why aren't you moving? Tomorrow, get out. Get out! 165 00:06:59,019 --> 00:07:00,553 -[baby crying] -You forgot the baby! 166 00:07:02,956 --> 00:07:05,125 All right, let's see now. 167 00:07:05,225 --> 00:07:08,961 -Let's see. Why do they print the numbers so small? -[dialing] 168 00:07:09,062 --> 00:07:12,531 Black Mamba, this is Gerbil, it happened again. 169 00:07:14,634 --> 00:07:17,737 No, no, no, no. The fuck? Are we trapped in here? 170 00:07:17,737 --> 00:07:19,206 You need to tell me right now if we're trapped in here! 171 00:07:19,206 --> 00:07:20,908 'Cause I'm gonna freak the fuck out! 172 00:07:20,908 --> 00:07:22,276 What's gonna happen to my plants, man? 173 00:07:22,276 --> 00:07:23,877 Girl, we need to get you friends. 174 00:07:23,976 --> 00:07:26,180 "Oh, we wanna come with you. 175 00:07:26,180 --> 00:07:29,216 We're afraid you're gonna mind molest her!" 176 00:07:29,216 --> 00:07:31,785 Now who's the mind molesters? You! 177 00:07:31,884 --> 00:07:34,053 -[girl crying] -You are the mind molesters! 178 00:07:34,153 --> 00:07:37,624 Ooh, are you lost, little girl? 179 00:07:37,723 --> 00:07:39,793 No need for tears, munchkin. 180 00:07:39,892 --> 00:07:41,161 I'll help you find your way. 181 00:07:41,262 --> 00:07:42,661 [growls] 182 00:07:42,762 --> 00:07:45,564 Ow! Oh! Oh! Get off me! Oh, stop! 183 00:07:45,665 --> 00:07:47,860 This little child is killing me! 184 00:07:48,769 --> 00:07:50,603 [grunts] 185 00:07:50,704 --> 00:07:52,805 Why did that sweet little you attack me? 186 00:07:52,805 --> 00:07:55,975 Oh, yeah, I wasn't sweet at that age. Or any age, really, 187 00:07:55,975 --> 00:07:58,011 but I was a total shit back then. 188 00:07:58,011 --> 00:08:00,579 Which is why the brain sent it. 189 00:08:00,579 --> 00:08:02,081 It thinks we're intruders. 190 00:08:02,182 --> 00:08:05,017 And yes, if we die in Harley's mind, 191 00:08:05,119 --> 00:08:06,887 -we die in real life! -[bones cracking] 192 00:08:06,987 --> 00:08:09,290 [Clayface] Ooh, Nightmare on Elm Street rules. 193 00:08:10,757 --> 00:08:15,028 [screaming] 194 00:08:15,028 --> 00:08:17,064 Do you have any insights on what we should do here? 195 00:08:17,064 --> 00:08:19,266 -Run! -[Dr. Psycho] Yeah, that's what I was gonna say. 196 00:08:19,266 --> 00:08:20,800 [screaming] 197 00:08:20,901 --> 00:08:22,336 -[Clayface] Exit with alacrity. -[shrieking] 198 00:08:24,737 --> 00:08:26,173 [shrieking] 199 00:08:28,841 --> 00:08:30,076 [Little Harleys shrieking] 200 00:08:30,076 --> 00:08:31,877 Harleys, this is Harley, stop! 201 00:08:32,846 --> 00:08:34,181 [shrieks] 202 00:08:36,682 --> 00:08:38,717 [screaming] 203 00:08:38,818 --> 00:08:40,321 [snarling] 204 00:08:40,421 --> 00:08:43,889 God, I hate brain physics. 205 00:08:43,889 --> 00:08:46,190 Hey, quit it and I'll tell you where Mom hides the makeup. 206 00:08:47,160 --> 00:08:48,328 [shrieking] 207 00:08:48,428 --> 00:08:49,600 [Harley grunts] 208 00:08:49,600 --> 00:08:51,148 Damn it. I was sure that was gonna work. 209 00:08:51,148 --> 00:08:52,932 Come on. Stop fucking around and follow me. 210 00:08:53,033 --> 00:08:54,268 We got an elevator. 211 00:08:54,368 --> 00:08:57,303 [Little Harleys screaming] 212 00:09:00,974 --> 00:09:03,777 You know, in a way, it's almost, like, comforting to know 213 00:09:03,777 --> 00:09:05,644 that you've always been this fucked up. 214 00:09:05,644 --> 00:09:08,248 Yeah, isn't it? You know, I'm starting to realize why my mother recycled 215 00:09:08,249 --> 00:09:09,899 so many wine bottles back then. 216 00:09:09,899 --> 00:09:12,152 Fun as this has been, let's get the fuck out of here, all right? 217 00:09:12,251 --> 00:09:13,899 There should be an emergency exit 218 00:09:13,899 --> 00:09:15,822 to the real world in Harley's subconscious somewhere, 219 00:09:15,822 --> 00:09:17,657 which I think is this button 220 00:09:17,657 --> 00:09:19,158 [effort grunts] right here. 221 00:09:19,259 --> 00:09:20,360 [grunts] 222 00:09:20,461 --> 00:09:22,296 -[growls] -[screaming] 223 00:09:23,230 --> 00:09:25,664 [grunts] 224 00:09:25,764 --> 00:09:30,764 Okay, your stupid fin hit the wrong button, dummy. 225 00:09:30,870 --> 00:09:32,739 [King Shark] Do not fin shame me. 226 00:09:34,908 --> 00:09:36,109 [elevator bells dings] 227 00:09:37,744 --> 00:09:39,178 [all exclaim] 228 00:09:39,278 --> 00:09:41,315 He must have hit the button to the optic nerve. 229 00:09:41,414 --> 00:09:44,051 Ooh, looking through the eyes of another. 230 00:09:44,150 --> 00:09:46,052 Now it appears we're playing by 231 00:09:46,153 --> 00:09:48,221 Being John Malcovich rules. 232 00:09:48,322 --> 00:09:50,623 Another suicide cult. 233 00:09:50,724 --> 00:09:53,293 If word gets out, I'll never be able to rent this fakakta apartment. 234 00:09:53,394 --> 00:09:54,793 So let's make sure it doesn't. 235 00:09:54,894 --> 00:09:57,096 Where's the bleach and the bone saw? 236 00:09:57,197 --> 00:09:59,166 No, no time for that. 237 00:09:59,265 --> 00:10:01,201 And I'm not paying to re-carpet this place. 238 00:10:01,302 --> 00:10:04,270 -So we call our explosives guy. -He exploded. 239 00:10:04,370 --> 00:10:07,874 Well, I guess eventually, the worms will get us all. 240 00:10:07,975 --> 00:10:09,643 -[Sy] Oy. -Jesus. 241 00:10:09,743 --> 00:10:12,346 Why not burn down the place and take the insurance? 242 00:10:12,446 --> 00:10:14,780 A little Jewish lightning never hurt anyone. 243 00:10:14,880 --> 00:10:16,950 A fire! Brilliant! 244 00:10:17,049 --> 00:10:19,919 We'll burn the bodies in this old furnace I own! 245 00:10:20,019 --> 00:10:21,322 [Golda laughs] Oh, yes! 246 00:10:21,422 --> 00:10:23,990 There's the Sy who armed Bin Laden in the '80s. 247 00:10:24,091 --> 00:10:25,958 -[chuckles] -Let's do this. 248 00:10:26,058 --> 00:10:28,727 Close slutty Casper's eyes, will ya? 249 00:10:28,828 --> 00:10:30,297 Feels like she's watching me. 250 00:10:30,397 --> 00:10:32,131 Sure thing, baby. 251 00:10:32,231 --> 00:10:33,667 [thuds] 252 00:10:33,767 --> 00:10:36,235 I can't believe Sy used to be like a spy. 253 00:10:36,336 --> 00:10:38,071 -He's so-- -Gross. 254 00:10:38,072 --> 00:10:39,172 -You're looking for gross. -[Poison Ivy] Yeah, that's it. 255 00:10:39,173 --> 00:10:40,407 What's "Jewish Lightning"? 256 00:10:40,508 --> 00:10:42,942 Perhaps Black Lightning's Israeli cousin. 257 00:10:43,043 --> 00:10:46,279 Excuse me! But am I the only one who heard 258 00:10:46,279 --> 00:10:48,981 that they're gonna burn our fucking bodies? 259 00:10:49,081 --> 00:10:54,081 So, stop yapping and do something! 260 00:11:00,494 --> 00:11:02,261 -[elevator dings] -Harley, 261 00:11:02,363 --> 00:11:04,831 welcome to your subconscious. 262 00:11:04,931 --> 00:11:07,201 -Step right. -Guess your Wi-Fi password. 263 00:11:07,301 --> 00:11:10,136 -Wack-an-insecurity. -Try your hand at a game. 264 00:11:10,236 --> 00:11:12,004 Take your chance. Step right up. 265 00:11:12,105 --> 00:11:13,840 Ugh, are you shitting me? 266 00:11:13,940 --> 00:11:15,174 So I'm gonna go out on a limb 267 00:11:15,274 --> 00:11:17,009 and say you're not over your ex-boyfriend. 268 00:11:17,009 --> 00:11:18,745 I mean, are you sure that this glitch 269 00:11:18,845 --> 00:11:20,246 is just in your origin story? 270 00:11:20,346 --> 00:11:23,317 [chuckles] Yes, you, young lady, 271 00:11:23,317 --> 00:11:24,783 the one with the smeared lipstick 272 00:11:24,784 --> 00:11:27,221 who is still clearly obsessed with me. 273 00:11:27,321 --> 00:11:29,556 Try your luck at a game of skill? 274 00:11:29,557 --> 00:11:31,424 Win Daddy's Love! 275 00:11:31,424 --> 00:11:33,259 Yeah, don't bother with that one. 276 00:11:33,360 --> 00:11:35,195 Oh, I know it's rigged. 277 00:11:35,294 --> 00:11:37,864 Come on! Everybody, spread out 278 00:11:37,964 --> 00:11:40,200 and just look for the emergency exit, all right? 279 00:11:40,299 --> 00:11:44,203 [shrieking] 280 00:11:44,303 --> 00:11:45,471 Come on! 281 00:11:45,572 --> 00:11:47,408 [screaming] 282 00:11:51,245 --> 00:11:53,495 [all screaming] 283 00:11:58,817 --> 00:12:00,921 -[snarling] -[screaming] 284 00:12:04,024 --> 00:12:05,024 [grunts] 285 00:12:08,861 --> 00:12:10,397 [grunts] 286 00:12:11,432 --> 00:12:12,499 [grunts] 287 00:12:14,500 --> 00:12:16,937 [Harley grunts] 288 00:12:17,037 --> 00:12:18,105 [all scream] 289 00:12:19,239 --> 00:12:20,239 [snarls] 290 00:12:21,508 --> 00:12:23,342 [all screaming] 291 00:12:26,614 --> 00:12:29,515 We are trapped! What I wouldn't give 292 00:12:29,616 --> 00:12:32,018 for a deus ex machina right now! 293 00:12:35,087 --> 00:12:37,124 Follow me. I know the way. 294 00:12:37,224 --> 00:12:39,393 Sorry, you didn't get that machina you were talking about. 295 00:12:39,493 --> 00:12:40,961 But at least, that guy showed up 296 00:12:41,061 --> 00:12:43,163 out of nowhere to save us for no reason. 297 00:12:43,263 --> 00:12:47,163 [Little Harleys screaming] 298 00:12:52,938 --> 00:12:56,208 Hey, hey, this is it! Thank you for helping us... 299 00:12:56,309 --> 00:12:59,513 whoever the fuck you are. 300 00:12:59,546 --> 00:13:02,282 Oh, my God! It's 11-year old Frankie Muniz! 301 00:13:02,381 --> 00:13:03,517 -Hi, Harley. -[gasps] 302 00:13:03,616 --> 00:13:06,052 He knows my name. I could die! 303 00:13:06,153 --> 00:13:07,321 Yeah, this isn't creepy. 304 00:13:07,421 --> 00:13:08,921 No, it's not like that at all. 305 00:13:08,921 --> 00:13:11,357 Yeah, you know, I had a major crush on him when I was a kid. 306 00:13:11,357 --> 00:13:13,360 Well, I guess that's different. 307 00:13:13,360 --> 00:13:16,028 Yeah, you know, I was planning to kidnap him, marry him. 308 00:13:16,028 --> 00:13:18,831 Then once we hit puberty, I was gonna tell him that I was taking birth control, but then, 309 00:13:18,831 --> 00:13:20,082 like, not take it, 310 00:13:20,082 --> 00:13:22,269 -and I get pregnant with his kid! -Mmm-hmm. 311 00:13:22,269 --> 00:13:24,370 -And back to creepy. -Yeah, I know what's going on here. 312 00:13:24,370 --> 00:13:26,472 He was Harley's truest love. 313 00:13:26,474 --> 00:13:29,176 So, some small, sane part of her brain sent 314 00:13:29,176 --> 00:13:30,610 her a vision of him to help us. 315 00:13:30,610 --> 00:13:32,613 That's right. Good luck, Harley. 316 00:13:32,613 --> 00:13:34,980 BTW, all those times you stared at 317 00:13:34,980 --> 00:13:37,149 my poster in your bedroom, I was staring back. 318 00:13:37,250 --> 00:13:38,884 -I knew it! -Take care. 319 00:13:39,586 --> 00:13:40,633 Let's go. 320 00:13:40,633 --> 00:13:42,855 There's two geriatrics trying to burn our bodies 321 00:13:42,855 --> 00:13:44,157 before NCIS comes on. 322 00:13:45,491 --> 00:13:47,193 [Sy] You know, I forgot how much fun 323 00:13:47,293 --> 00:13:49,929 moving and then destroying dead bodies is. 324 00:13:50,029 --> 00:13:51,465 Nothing gets the heart racing 325 00:13:51,565 --> 00:13:53,634 [gasps] like one that's stopped completely. 326 00:13:53,734 --> 00:13:57,638 [chuckles] Ah, Golda. 327 00:13:57,738 --> 00:14:00,974 Do you ever regret not having spy kids together? 328 00:14:01,073 --> 00:14:04,577 Nah. I have normal kids and normal grandkids. 329 00:14:04,677 --> 00:14:06,647 -I lead a normal life now, Sy. -[thuds] 330 00:14:06,746 --> 00:14:09,349 Ah, well, what if it's not too late? 331 00:14:09,450 --> 00:14:12,251 Eh? I still have my license to kill. 332 00:14:12,351 --> 00:14:14,019 That's your AARP card. 333 00:14:14,120 --> 00:14:17,291 Oh! Yeah, well, the kill thing is in here somewhere. 334 00:14:17,390 --> 00:14:19,024 I may be old, Golda, 335 00:14:19,125 --> 00:14:21,562 but there's nothing I can't handle. 336 00:14:21,662 --> 00:14:23,630 [both chuckle] 337 00:14:23,730 --> 00:14:25,532 Well, the neighborhood kids 338 00:14:25,633 --> 00:14:29,101 don't call me Old Scary Machine Man for nothing. 339 00:14:29,201 --> 00:14:32,172 Now, there's a monster for you. [chuckles] 340 00:14:32,272 --> 00:14:33,539 [grunting] 341 00:14:33,640 --> 00:14:35,643 Come on, get that piece of rust working. 342 00:14:37,076 --> 00:14:38,412 Booyah! 343 00:14:38,511 --> 00:14:40,279 Up! Up! And-- 344 00:14:40,379 --> 00:14:42,048 -[engine stops] -Hey, I'm out of diesel. 345 00:14:42,048 --> 00:14:43,616 -[both scream] -[crash] 346 00:14:45,251 --> 00:14:47,086 [Dr. Psycho] Come on, come on. 347 00:14:47,086 --> 00:14:49,556 They're probably heating up the furnace right now. 348 00:14:49,657 --> 00:14:52,000 -Is that-- -Repressed Memory Island? Yeah. 349 00:14:52,000 --> 00:14:53,726 That's where you keep all your screwed-up memories. 350 00:14:53,726 --> 00:14:56,462 Trust me, you do not want to go anywhere near it. 351 00:14:56,562 --> 00:14:58,666 Ive, remember the glitch in my origins story? 352 00:14:58,765 --> 00:15:00,100 Oh, so you think it's like 353 00:15:00,100 --> 00:15:01,467 a repressed memory or something? 354 00:15:01,467 --> 00:15:03,269 Right. And it's on that island. 355 00:15:03,269 --> 00:15:04,626 Oh, then we gotta go. 356 00:15:04,626 --> 00:15:07,341 And what did I just say about going to that island? 357 00:15:07,341 --> 00:15:08,775 We are all going to be burned to death 358 00:15:08,775 --> 00:15:11,177 if we don't leave your mind right now! 359 00:15:11,177 --> 00:15:13,312 Okay, fine. Then you go. I'm not leaving. 360 00:15:13,413 --> 00:15:15,115 In the real world I'm still catatonic, 361 00:15:15,115 --> 00:15:16,482 drooling all over myself. 362 00:15:16,482 --> 00:15:18,451 Okay, she made her choice. Let's go. 363 00:15:18,552 --> 00:15:20,386 -I'm going with Harley. -Of course you are. 364 00:15:20,486 --> 00:15:21,654 She's your only friend. 365 00:15:21,754 --> 00:15:23,590 That's true. But that's by design, 366 00:15:23,591 --> 00:15:26,025 because she's the only human being I think is worth a shit. 367 00:15:26,025 --> 00:15:27,994 Hey, Clayface, how many acting jobs 368 00:15:27,994 --> 00:15:29,596 did you get before Harley gave you one? 369 00:15:29,697 --> 00:15:31,163 Well, I filled in for the dog 370 00:15:31,264 --> 00:15:34,100 that played Air Bud, when he was run over 371 00:15:34,201 --> 00:15:37,504 by me the second to the last day of shooting. 372 00:15:37,604 --> 00:15:39,105 -You know what? I'm in. -And, Psycho, 373 00:15:39,206 --> 00:15:40,506 who took you in when literally, 374 00:15:40,506 --> 00:15:42,174 the worst people on the planet turned you away? 375 00:15:42,174 --> 00:15:44,043 Fine! I'm in. 376 00:15:44,043 --> 00:15:47,047 -And, King Shark, let's all remember the time-- -I'm in! 377 00:15:47,047 --> 00:15:48,447 Oh, thank God, 'cause I had nothing. 378 00:15:48,447 --> 00:15:50,383 All right, Doctor, help your patient. 379 00:15:50,384 --> 00:15:52,251 All right, all right, all right, I got a plan. 380 00:15:52,351 --> 00:15:55,389 [Little Harleys] We'll have fun! Hey, come play with us. 381 00:15:58,558 --> 00:16:01,595 -[all laughing menacingly] -[indistinct chattering] 382 00:16:01,595 --> 00:16:02,695 [Little Harley] We'll have fun. 383 00:16:03,563 --> 00:16:04,806 Come play with us. 384 00:16:04,806 --> 00:16:07,433 If I go down, I'm taking all you little shits with me! 385 00:16:07,533 --> 00:16:11,238 Whoa! [yelling] 386 00:16:11,337 --> 00:16:13,038 That was not the plan! 387 00:16:13,038 --> 00:16:13,874 [Poison Ivy] We got your back, Harls. 388 00:16:13,874 --> 00:16:15,609 Oh, you guys. 389 00:16:15,708 --> 00:16:17,309 [all snarling] 390 00:16:18,245 --> 00:16:21,394 [laughing menacingly] 391 00:16:26,754 --> 00:16:28,120 We might be fucked. 392 00:16:28,221 --> 00:16:29,590 You guys totally should have left. 393 00:16:29,690 --> 00:16:32,458 [scoffs] Harley Quinn, 394 00:16:32,558 --> 00:16:36,096 it has been the utmost pleasure to serve in your company. 395 00:16:36,196 --> 00:16:38,163 [Harley] Clayface, no! 396 00:16:38,164 --> 00:16:39,466 [Little Harley 1] I love you, Frankie. 397 00:16:39,466 --> 00:16:40,567 [Little Harley 2] Give me babies! 398 00:16:40,567 --> 00:16:41,869 [all laughing excitedly] 399 00:16:41,869 --> 00:16:46,869 Well, hello, it is I, Frankie Muniz! 400 00:16:47,173 --> 00:16:48,475 I love you, Frankie. 401 00:16:48,575 --> 00:16:50,344 [all yelling] 402 00:16:50,443 --> 00:16:51,677 Ah, screw this. 403 00:16:51,677 --> 00:16:54,277 Now, how the hell are we gonna get to that island? 404 00:16:57,149 --> 00:17:01,355 I cannot believe this. I mean, it is just the most unlikely set of circumstances 405 00:17:01,455 --> 00:17:05,358 that would put me about 70% shark, in a situation 406 00:17:05,459 --> 00:17:08,194 that pretty much demands a mostly shark man. 407 00:17:08,194 --> 00:17:09,896 -[King Shark chuckles] -[Harley] Oh, we made it! 408 00:17:09,896 --> 00:17:13,400 Is it me, or is it getting kind of warm around here? 409 00:17:16,135 --> 00:17:18,404 Sy, the fire's good and hot. 410 00:17:18,505 --> 00:17:22,075 Then what are we waiting for! Let's get to cremating! 411 00:17:22,174 --> 00:17:23,242 Cremate! 412 00:17:23,343 --> 00:17:25,311 ♪ Crem-ing in the at-ing ♪ 413 00:17:25,412 --> 00:17:27,180 ♪ And we're at-ing in the crem-ing ♪ 414 00:17:27,279 --> 00:17:28,515 ♪ We''re going in the fire ♪ 415 00:17:31,818 --> 00:17:33,554 Why does it look like Arkham? 416 00:17:33,554 --> 00:17:36,390 Because your sick brain is trying to lock up memories 417 00:17:36,490 --> 00:17:39,259 so vile that you repress them, so do not look-- 418 00:17:39,358 --> 00:17:41,595 Okay, why do I even try? 419 00:17:41,694 --> 00:17:43,830 When's Daddy done with his business meeting? 420 00:17:43,931 --> 00:17:45,332 [grunts] 421 00:17:47,867 --> 00:17:52,605 That's enough. 422 00:17:52,638 --> 00:17:54,842 "If you violate the restraining order again, 423 00:17:54,942 --> 00:17:57,711 Mr. Muniz will take legal action." 424 00:17:57,810 --> 00:18:00,446 Muah! See ya soon, Frankie. 425 00:18:00,547 --> 00:18:03,416 So that's why I went to juvie. 426 00:18:03,517 --> 00:18:06,519 [maniacal laughter] 427 00:18:09,189 --> 00:18:12,358 [grunts] 428 00:18:12,392 --> 00:18:16,363 Here we are, puddin'. Dive in as Harleen Quinzel, 429 00:18:16,462 --> 00:18:19,432 and rise as Harley Quinn! 430 00:18:19,532 --> 00:18:21,500 My beautiful creation. 431 00:18:21,602 --> 00:18:24,237 Okay, look, here it comes. Here's when that piece of shit 432 00:18:24,336 --> 00:18:25,439 pushes me in he acid. 433 00:18:25,538 --> 00:18:28,442 [laughs] If you love me, then jump! 434 00:18:28,541 --> 00:18:31,411 And you'll be mine forever. 435 00:18:31,510 --> 00:18:33,313 A dream come true, puddin'. 436 00:18:34,949 --> 00:18:36,215 Wait! No! 437 00:18:38,317 --> 00:18:40,854 Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Are you okay? 438 00:18:40,954 --> 00:18:42,789 This whole time I thought he pushed me. 439 00:18:42,890 --> 00:18:45,325 That it wasn't my choice. 440 00:18:45,424 --> 00:18:46,859 But it... it was. 441 00:18:46,961 --> 00:18:50,463 Whoa, so you told yourself it was out of your control? 442 00:18:50,463 --> 00:18:51,664 Yeah, because it was easier 443 00:18:51,765 --> 00:18:53,467 to blame him than accept the truth. 444 00:18:53,567 --> 00:18:55,501 And the truth being, what, exactly? 445 00:18:55,602 --> 00:18:57,805 That it was always my choice. 446 00:18:57,904 --> 00:18:59,906 That I was in control all along. 447 00:19:00,707 --> 00:19:02,509 And I still am. 448 00:19:02,608 --> 00:19:04,912 If you love me, then jump. 449 00:19:05,011 --> 00:19:08,882 And you'll be mine forever. 450 00:19:08,982 --> 00:19:10,517 -Hard pass. -Wha-- what? 451 00:19:10,616 --> 00:19:11,951 I said no, idiot. 452 00:19:12,051 --> 00:19:14,453 But you have to jump, you can't change this. 453 00:19:14,554 --> 00:19:17,390 I mean, it's already happened. It's your origin story! 454 00:19:17,490 --> 00:19:19,459 Wrong. It's not my origin story. 455 00:19:19,558 --> 00:19:21,227 My real origin story didn't happen here. 456 00:19:21,327 --> 00:19:23,696 It happened in your lair. 457 00:19:23,797 --> 00:19:25,731 Uh, I wasn't wearing this costume. 458 00:19:25,833 --> 00:19:27,064 And believe me, 459 00:19:27,064 --> 00:19:29,064 I wasn't saying you were a dream come true. 460 00:19:29,068 --> 00:19:30,804 I was saying, "Go fuck yourself!" 461 00:19:30,903 --> 00:19:33,673 Harley, stop this nonsense. I-- 462 00:19:33,673 --> 00:19:36,241 I know you think you created me, but no one did! 463 00:19:36,343 --> 00:19:38,510 My fucked-up parents didn't make me the way I am. 464 00:19:38,511 --> 00:19:40,079 Neither did Jessica Sarner 465 00:19:40,079 --> 00:19:41,647 when she fucking lied to the whole camp 466 00:19:41,647 --> 00:19:44,351 and said I lost my virginity to a horse! 467 00:19:44,351 --> 00:19:45,751 -A horse! -[grunts] 468 00:19:45,752 --> 00:19:47,721 Or, those cops who questioned me for hours 469 00:19:47,721 --> 00:19:49,655 -about what happened to Jessica Sarner. -[grunts] 470 00:19:49,655 --> 00:19:51,023 And you sure as hell 471 00:19:51,025 --> 00:19:52,424 didn't fucking create me, puddin'. 472 00:19:52,526 --> 00:19:53,894 Yeah? Well, I named you. 473 00:19:53,993 --> 00:19:56,864 You got Harley Quinn out of Harleen Quinzel? 474 00:19:56,963 --> 00:19:58,565 Nice work, genius! 475 00:19:58,664 --> 00:20:00,867 [both grunt] 476 00:20:00,968 --> 00:20:03,604 You didn't make me, Joker. I made myself. 477 00:20:03,703 --> 00:20:05,838 But you can't change your memories! 478 00:20:05,940 --> 00:20:08,642 This isn't Eternal Sunshine rules. 479 00:20:08,741 --> 00:20:09,876 [whooshing] 480 00:20:09,977 --> 00:20:11,243 [grunts] 481 00:20:12,712 --> 00:20:15,481 -[grunts] -My mind. My rules. 482 00:20:16,817 --> 00:20:17,917 [clatters] 483 00:20:20,988 --> 00:20:22,990 [sighs] Sanity restored. 484 00:20:22,990 --> 00:20:26,326 Kinda. Thanks, gang. I owe you everything. 485 00:20:26,326 --> 00:20:28,260 Has anyone seen Clayface? 486 00:20:28,260 --> 00:20:29,797 -[Little Harley grunts] -[all exclaim] 487 00:20:29,896 --> 00:20:32,665 No! Because her little psycho shits killed him! 488 00:20:32,665 --> 00:20:34,534 Did not! 489 00:20:34,634 --> 00:20:36,470 Apologies for the disguise. 490 00:20:36,470 --> 00:20:40,473 I had to "go native" to thwart Harley's younger demons. 491 00:20:40,473 --> 00:20:42,977 Oh, we're just glad you're alive. 492 00:20:43,076 --> 00:20:46,046 Thank you, frie-- Oh, I'm getting hard! 493 00:20:46,146 --> 00:20:47,713 -[all grunt] -Please! 494 00:20:47,815 --> 00:20:50,483 My phallus is not erect. It's my leg. 495 00:20:50,584 --> 00:20:51,818 Oh, no, he's in the furnace! 496 00:20:51,919 --> 00:20:54,654 Aah! Come on! Come on! To the exit, now! 497 00:20:57,557 --> 00:20:59,759 And a one and a two-- 498 00:20:59,859 --> 00:21:01,428 [all screaming] 499 00:21:01,528 --> 00:21:04,396 They're still alive. Damn it, Sy. 500 00:21:04,498 --> 00:21:07,500 This is Peru all over again. I'm outta here. 501 00:21:07,601 --> 00:21:09,736 What do you mean, "Outta here"? Where're ya going? Where're ya going? 502 00:21:09,836 --> 00:21:11,005 -I'm done with this shit. -[Sy] Don't be done. 503 00:21:11,105 --> 00:21:12,705 We're in the middle of a thing. 504 00:21:12,806 --> 00:21:15,442 -No, I'm at the end. -You were always a quitter! 505 00:21:15,442 --> 00:21:17,344 Oh, and you tried to kill us. 506 00:21:17,443 --> 00:21:20,413 Nonsense! What are you-- What are you doing? 507 00:21:20,513 --> 00:21:21,781 You looked cold. 508 00:21:21,781 --> 00:21:24,018 So I did what any good citizen would do. 509 00:21:24,117 --> 00:21:26,086 I brought you to a dead mall 510 00:21:26,186 --> 00:21:28,788 and heated you up in an abandoned pizza oven. 511 00:21:28,888 --> 00:21:30,557 You're welcome. We're done here. 512 00:21:30,656 --> 00:21:33,393 This is it. Guys, we found it. 513 00:21:33,492 --> 00:21:34,862 What? Like hepatitis? 514 00:21:34,961 --> 00:21:36,730 No, our new lair. 515 00:21:36,730 --> 00:21:38,198 Look, it doesn't matter what it is. 516 00:21:38,199 --> 00:21:39,866 'Cause the lair doesn't define us. 517 00:21:39,866 --> 00:21:41,768 We define the lair. 518 00:21:41,769 --> 00:21:45,571 Uh-huh. Can we define a different one? This one's gross. 519 00:21:45,571 --> 00:21:47,807 No, this one's free. 520 00:21:47,907 --> 00:21:49,542 The hell it is. 521 00:21:49,643 --> 00:21:51,979 This premium shopping destination 522 00:21:51,979 --> 00:21:54,614 runs 100 grand a month. 523 00:21:54,615 --> 00:21:57,616 I'm offering a dollar. And I won't kill you right now 524 00:21:57,617 --> 00:21:59,352 for trying to burn us alive. 525 00:21:59,352 --> 00:22:01,721 Deal. On one condition. 526 00:22:01,721 --> 00:22:04,758 You let me come along on some of your heists. 527 00:22:04,758 --> 00:22:08,729 Lugging around your dead husks made me feel alive again. 528 00:22:08,828 --> 00:22:11,364 I want back in the game, baby! 529 00:22:11,463 --> 00:22:13,000 Well, you did manage to carry 530 00:22:13,000 --> 00:22:15,769 six bodies to a pizza oven. I mean, that's not nothing. 531 00:22:15,868 --> 00:22:17,804 -Deal. -Hey! 532 00:22:17,805 --> 00:22:21,540 -Oh! -Yeah, yeah, yeah. Don't worry. It happens all the time. 533 00:22:21,641 --> 00:22:23,509 [Sy] Anyone have a Philips head? 534 00:22:23,609 --> 00:22:28,609 [theme music playing]