1 00:00:18,393 --> 00:00:20,979 You are one sexy muchacho. 2 00:00:21,062 --> 00:00:22,897 ♪ Some people call you ♪ 3 00:00:22,981 --> 00:00:24,274 -Gordon! -[screams] 4 00:00:24,357 --> 00:00:26,609 -I need your help. -I hit a blood vessel. 5 00:00:26,693 --> 00:00:29,195 [grunts] Listen, I was here last night for the Nightwing's Dead party, 6 00:00:29,320 --> 00:00:30,739 and I saw another Harley. 7 00:00:30,822 --> 00:00:33,158 I gotta know if I'm losing my fucking mind. 8 00:00:33,241 --> 00:00:35,201 So, can you please check the security cameras now? 9 00:00:35,326 --> 00:00:37,203 You know, I thought I saw my doppelganger once, 10 00:00:37,328 --> 00:00:41,291 but it was just a plate of carne asada and nachos atop a trash can. 11 00:00:41,374 --> 00:00:43,168 -Who the hell is this? -Get ready for some cuteness. 12 00:00:43,251 --> 00:00:46,504 [chuckling on video] Okay? Give Daddy his gun back now. 13 00:00:46,629 --> 00:00:47,714 Come on. 14 00:00:47,839 --> 00:00:49,924 Hey! This is my-- 15 00:00:50,008 --> 00:00:53,345 -You find what you need? -Hey, where is the rest of the footage? 16 00:00:53,470 --> 00:00:55,972 I got some bathroom stuff, some make-out stuff. 17 00:00:56,056 --> 00:00:57,182 The rest, I kind of taped over. 18 00:00:57,265 --> 00:00:59,642 So fucking worthless! [grunts] 19 00:00:59,726 --> 00:01:01,186 When I'm looking for something-- 20 00:01:01,269 --> 00:01:02,645 I need to know what's happening to me. 21 00:01:02,729 --> 00:01:05,315 Gordon, do I seem insane to you? 22 00:01:05,397 --> 00:01:07,025 Um... No. You seem good. 23 00:01:07,150 --> 00:01:08,568 [grunts] 24 00:01:09,361 --> 00:01:11,529 [theme music playing] 25 00:01:13,990 --> 00:01:16,701 [Poison Ivy] Obviously, guys, I've been owning the game, lately. 26 00:01:16,826 --> 00:01:20,163 Fucking owning it, and all the haters along the way. 27 00:01:20,246 --> 00:01:22,248 But we don't want to have owned it. 28 00:01:22,332 --> 00:01:26,044 We want to always be, present tense, owning it. Right? 29 00:01:26,169 --> 00:01:28,922 ABOI. Always be owning it. 30 00:01:29,047 --> 00:01:31,341 No, no, no. That sounds like BO in the middle. 31 00:01:31,424 --> 00:01:32,801 Not everything needs to be a thing. 32 00:01:32,884 --> 00:01:35,053 Anyway, the Legion of Super-Heroes' time-sphere 33 00:01:35,178 --> 00:01:37,972 is being moved to the Smithsonian at 3:00 p.m. 34 00:01:38,056 --> 00:01:39,683 And we are gonna hijack it. 35 00:01:39,765 --> 00:01:41,601 Sick! A time-sphere. 36 00:01:41,726 --> 00:01:45,104 I'm gonna visit past atrocities and learn how to do 'em better. 37 00:01:45,188 --> 00:01:46,898 I'd love to go back and tell my younger self 38 00:01:46,981 --> 00:01:50,068 that snake-eye contacts are more weird than intimidating. 39 00:01:50,193 --> 00:01:52,320 I can go back in time and do extra work 40 00:01:52,404 --> 00:01:54,072 without missing any work. 41 00:01:54,197 --> 00:01:56,241 Okay, guys, we're not going to actually use the time-sphere. 42 00:01:56,324 --> 00:01:57,826 -[all sigh] -I just want it 43 00:01:57,908 --> 00:01:59,244 'cause it's like gonna look really cute on my wall. 44 00:01:59,327 --> 00:02:00,995 Total power move. 45 00:02:01,079 --> 00:02:03,081 Everyone, shut up! I have news. 46 00:02:03,206 --> 00:02:04,833 I'm starving. 47 00:02:04,916 --> 00:02:06,584 What are we doing for lunch? 48 00:02:06,668 --> 00:02:09,169 Volcana, don't you dare say you're "fine with anything" again. 49 00:02:09,253 --> 00:02:10,422 I'd rather have a bad suggestion 50 00:02:10,547 --> 00:02:12,257 like all the ones Tefe gives. 51 00:02:12,340 --> 00:02:14,926 -[both exclaiming] Hey! -Okay, screw you. I'm ordering gyros. 52 00:02:15,051 --> 00:02:17,971 Oh, and they moved up the time-sphere transfer to, like, right now. 53 00:02:18,096 --> 00:02:19,848 Oh, shit. We gotta go. 54 00:02:19,931 --> 00:02:23,268 Wait. I'm not paying the delivery fee myself. 55 00:02:23,393 --> 00:02:27,313 Batgirl, I need to have a very one-sided conversation about my mental state. 56 00:02:27,439 --> 00:02:28,606 So, could you... 57 00:02:28,690 --> 00:02:30,483 -[screaming] Hello! -Sorry, what? 58 00:02:30,608 --> 00:02:32,402 I can't hear anything with my headphones on. 59 00:02:32,485 --> 00:02:34,612 They're for busy girls in loud places. See? 60 00:02:34,696 --> 00:02:36,322 So, um, I just wanna, like, talk about last night. 61 00:02:36,448 --> 00:02:37,949 Weird. You didn't bring this up two hours ago 62 00:02:38,074 --> 00:02:39,659 when you brought me half an egg sandwich. 63 00:02:39,784 --> 00:02:41,286 I did? I don't remember doing that 64 00:02:41,369 --> 00:02:42,746 or eating half of an egg sandwich. 65 00:02:42,829 --> 00:02:44,329 [screaming] Oh, my God. I'm really losing it? 66 00:02:44,456 --> 00:02:45,915 Okay. Well, there's nothing to talk about. 67 00:02:45,999 --> 00:02:48,460 I had a nice cold shower, and I'm totally good now. 68 00:02:48,585 --> 00:02:50,837 Okay. Well, cool. But I am not totally good. I'm more-- 69 00:02:50,962 --> 00:02:52,339 I don't think Joker murdered Nightwing. 70 00:02:52,464 --> 00:02:54,341 -What? -It doesn't add up. 71 00:02:54,466 --> 00:02:56,676 If Joker really did it, why would he wait an entire day to tell everyone? 72 00:02:56,801 --> 00:02:59,220 Oh, my God. You're right. He is the worst at keeping secrets. 73 00:02:59,304 --> 00:03:00,638 I mean, he always tells the kids 74 00:03:00,764 --> 00:03:02,390 where the afikomen is hidden at Passover. 75 00:03:02,474 --> 00:03:04,726 We gotta prove Joker's lying or no one will believe us 76 00:03:04,809 --> 00:03:06,603 when we find the actual murderer. 77 00:03:06,686 --> 00:03:08,438 Whoa! You look like do-do. 78 00:03:08,521 --> 00:03:10,565 Right! That's, kind of, what I was hoping to talk to you about. 79 00:03:10,648 --> 00:03:12,692 Okay, sorry. But I can't be the friend you need right now. 80 00:03:12,817 --> 00:03:15,153 I owe it to Nightwing to find the real killer. 81 00:03:15,278 --> 00:03:16,488 Can't you talk to Ivy? 82 00:03:16,571 --> 00:03:18,156 I'm trying to respect her boundaries 83 00:03:18,281 --> 00:03:19,532 and not to bother her with this stuff. 84 00:03:19,657 --> 00:03:20,825 Because, you know, she's been so busy with-- 85 00:03:20,950 --> 00:03:22,535 Awesome. You're the best. Thank you. 86 00:03:22,660 --> 00:03:23,828 Please close the door. 87 00:03:23,912 --> 00:03:24,746 [sighs wearily] 88 00:03:26,623 --> 00:03:29,000 Good to have you back in the poker game. 89 00:03:29,084 --> 00:03:30,418 An evil game! 90 00:03:30,502 --> 00:03:32,462 Killing Nightwing, ooh, very tight. 91 00:03:32,545 --> 00:03:34,464 Moral politics was fun. 92 00:03:34,547 --> 00:03:36,716 But you can't change the soul of a villain. 93 00:03:36,841 --> 00:03:39,469 So quotable, you're going to slay on my podcast. 94 00:03:39,552 --> 00:03:41,805 -[cell phone buzzes] -Excuse me. James Corden. 95 00:03:41,888 --> 00:03:44,015 Don't cover the phone. I know Corden. 96 00:03:44,099 --> 00:03:48,144 Oh, you want me to host one of your little musical-comedy traffic jams? 97 00:03:48,228 --> 00:03:50,814 [chuckling] Co-host. Hmm? 98 00:03:50,897 --> 00:03:53,817 Yeah, sharing isn't really my thing. 99 00:03:53,900 --> 00:03:56,194 Little shit is trying to leech off my comeback. 100 00:03:56,319 --> 00:03:57,696 God, he's a needy motherfucker. 101 00:03:57,779 --> 00:04:00,073 Oh, it's my deal. Gotta go. 102 00:04:00,198 --> 00:04:02,450 Bye bye. [laughing maniacally] 103 00:04:04,160 --> 00:04:05,787 It's good to be back, boys. 104 00:04:05,870 --> 00:04:07,580 House always wins. 105 00:04:07,706 --> 00:04:09,457 [mysterious music playing] 106 00:04:18,425 --> 00:04:19,759 I knew it! 107 00:04:19,884 --> 00:04:21,845 Way to trust your gut. Barbara Gordon Junior. 108 00:04:24,097 --> 00:04:25,682 -Hey, babe, um-- -Hey. 109 00:04:25,765 --> 00:04:27,058 What the fuck's with the red wig? 110 00:04:27,183 --> 00:04:29,144 Oh, I'm expecting the IRS sometime this week. 111 00:04:29,227 --> 00:04:30,478 Gotta throw them off their game. 112 00:04:30,562 --> 00:04:31,855 Okay? Whatever. I need to talk to Ivy. 113 00:04:31,938 --> 00:04:33,273 Sorry. She left. 114 00:04:33,398 --> 00:04:35,150 -She had a hard-out at quarter to. -Quarter to what? 115 00:04:35,233 --> 00:04:36,901 That's privileged information. 116 00:04:36,985 --> 00:04:38,653 This is important. 117 00:04:38,737 --> 00:04:41,156 [groans softly] What about a 4:00 a.m. hallway walk-and-talk on Tuesday? 118 00:04:41,239 --> 00:04:45,368 Okay. Yeah, sure. 4:00 a.m. is the perfect time to have a coherent conversation. 119 00:04:45,452 --> 00:04:47,245 -[cell phone chimes] -Oh, sorry. I just lost that time. 120 00:04:47,328 --> 00:04:48,955 What about 5:00 a.m? 121 00:04:49,080 --> 00:04:50,790 -Just FYI, she'll have a hard-out at 5:15. -[grumbles] 122 00:04:50,915 --> 00:04:55,295 Stop saying hard-out and tell me where Ivy is right now! 123 00:04:59,966 --> 00:05:01,468 [sinister music playing] 124 00:05:13,605 --> 00:05:15,273 [screaming] Where is she? 125 00:05:15,357 --> 00:05:17,692 [scoffs] Really? 126 00:05:19,110 --> 00:05:20,945 I had a UTI at Jazzapajizza. 127 00:05:21,071 --> 00:05:21,988 This is nothing. 128 00:05:22,072 --> 00:05:23,031 [bomb exploding in distance] 129 00:05:24,866 --> 00:05:25,700 [laughing] 130 00:05:30,288 --> 00:05:31,790 [gasps] Ivy! 131 00:05:34,668 --> 00:05:35,960 Oh, we love a power fem. 132 00:05:38,880 --> 00:05:39,756 [gasps] 133 00:05:44,344 --> 00:05:46,805 [grunts] Time to go green, bitch. 134 00:05:53,103 --> 00:05:54,896 Fetch, doggy! 135 00:05:54,979 --> 00:05:59,401 [exclaiming smugly] No one gets in the way of me owning the game. 136 00:05:59,484 --> 00:06:00,652 Hey. 137 00:06:00,735 --> 00:06:02,570 Harley, what are you doing here? 138 00:06:02,654 --> 00:06:04,072 I'm working right now. 139 00:06:04,155 --> 00:06:06,074 I know. Listen. I tried to make an appointment, 140 00:06:06,157 --> 00:06:07,367 but all you had open was 5:00 in the morning next Tuesday. 141 00:06:07,492 --> 00:06:08,660 So, um... 142 00:06:08,743 --> 00:06:10,537 [grunts] 143 00:06:10,662 --> 00:06:13,206 Did Nora say that I had a hard-out at 5:15? 144 00:06:13,331 --> 00:06:15,583 -Listen, I need to talk to you. -Harley, come on. 145 00:06:15,667 --> 00:06:19,879 [groans softly] Oh, man. People don't just show up at their partner's work like this. 146 00:06:21,172 --> 00:06:22,841 Yeah, Harley. 147 00:06:22,966 --> 00:06:25,427 Imagine if the Supreme Court justice got Frenched on the bench. 148 00:06:25,510 --> 00:06:27,012 [grunts] 149 00:06:27,095 --> 00:06:28,930 I would not have come if it wasn't super important. 150 00:06:29,014 --> 00:06:31,182 [grunts] Can we just talk about this later? 151 00:06:31,266 --> 00:06:32,683 I don't think we can. 152 00:06:34,978 --> 00:06:39,024 Baby, are you trying to stop me from stealing the time-sphere? 153 00:06:39,149 --> 00:06:41,693 [grunts] Geez! There's a time-ball on this truck? 154 00:06:41,818 --> 00:06:44,529 Yes, I am a big-deal super villain. 155 00:06:44,612 --> 00:06:47,365 And sometimes I steal time-spheres. Okay? 156 00:06:47,490 --> 00:06:49,367 ABST. Always be stealing-- 157 00:06:49,492 --> 00:06:51,202 Enough with the fucking acronyms. 158 00:06:51,327 --> 00:06:53,997 Baby, I'm doing all of this because I'm building something. 159 00:06:54,080 --> 00:06:56,457 So, when we're, like, 60 years old and still hot, 160 00:06:56,541 --> 00:07:00,879 we can sip wine in our chateau and have plenty of time to talk. 161 00:07:00,962 --> 00:07:02,714 Fine! If you won't make time for me now, 162 00:07:02,839 --> 00:07:05,717 I will go find 60-year-old Ivy and talk to her. 163 00:07:05,800 --> 00:07:07,093 [Poison Ivy] Wait, what? 164 00:07:07,552 --> 00:07:08,887 [grunts] 165 00:07:15,226 --> 00:07:16,978 Harley, what are you doing? 166 00:07:17,062 --> 00:07:20,607 Fuck! She is in no state to be messing with the time-space continuum. 167 00:07:20,732 --> 00:07:21,858 -[Harley grunting] -BRB. 168 00:07:21,941 --> 00:07:24,235 Her acronyms are so much cooler. 169 00:07:24,319 --> 00:07:26,029 Hey, baby. Baby, look at me. 170 00:07:26,112 --> 00:07:28,615 You do not know how to operate a fucking time-sphere. 171 00:07:28,740 --> 00:07:30,617 -It's intuitive. -What? [scoffs] 172 00:07:31,201 --> 00:07:32,034 [beeping] 173 00:07:33,495 --> 00:07:35,497 Ugh, drama. 174 00:07:35,580 --> 00:07:36,456 [mysterious music playing] 175 00:07:36,581 --> 00:07:37,624 [both grunt] 176 00:07:39,125 --> 00:07:40,752 [both grunting] 177 00:07:40,877 --> 00:07:41,920 [automated voice] Mind the gap. 178 00:07:43,171 --> 00:07:44,506 Oh, cake dick. 179 00:07:44,589 --> 00:07:47,175 -Damn it. -What year did you take us to? 180 00:07:47,258 --> 00:07:48,635 [Harley] Hmm? Interesting. 181 00:07:48,760 --> 00:07:50,345 It may not have been as intuitive as I thought, 182 00:07:50,428 --> 00:07:52,597 which honestly is on the time-sphere. 183 00:07:52,722 --> 00:07:54,474 What? Hey, Harley. Where are you going? 184 00:07:54,599 --> 00:07:56,685 We gotta get back to our time. Okay? 185 00:07:56,768 --> 00:07:58,561 Oh, what? Sorry. Do you have a hard-out? 186 00:07:58,645 --> 00:08:00,146 No, I don't. 187 00:08:00,271 --> 00:08:02,440 I... At least I... I don't think so. Let me check. 188 00:08:02,524 --> 00:08:03,942 You know what? There's no service. 189 00:08:04,067 --> 00:08:04,776 Fuckin' A. 190 00:08:04,901 --> 00:08:06,069 Argh! We shouldn't be here. 191 00:08:06,152 --> 00:08:07,946 This looks like a goddamn apocalypse. 192 00:08:08,071 --> 00:08:09,197 Well, guess what? 193 00:08:09,280 --> 00:08:11,449 There's an apocalypse happening in my brain. 194 00:08:11,574 --> 00:08:14,119 The emotional chickens came home and they are roasting, Ivy. 195 00:08:14,202 --> 00:08:17,288 Hey, shh. Let's not bring out whatever cursed beings-- 196 00:08:17,372 --> 00:08:19,707 Cluck-cluck, Ivy. The chickens are fucking-- 197 00:08:19,791 --> 00:08:20,834 [drones whirring] 198 00:08:24,587 --> 00:08:25,964 Harley, get back in the time-sphere. 199 00:08:28,133 --> 00:08:28,967 [Ivy groans] 200 00:08:32,429 --> 00:08:33,638 [Harley grunting] 201 00:08:40,352 --> 00:08:42,022 Argh! Ground-people! 202 00:08:44,441 --> 00:08:45,775 Shit! [grunts] 203 00:08:56,661 --> 00:09:00,790 Hey, is someone gonna tell us what in the future-fuck is going on? 204 00:09:00,874 --> 00:09:02,917 Sure. We only had two men left. 205 00:09:03,001 --> 00:09:05,295 And your dumb ass murdered the hot one. 206 00:09:05,378 --> 00:09:07,255 Now we just have Steve. 207 00:09:07,339 --> 00:09:08,923 Oh, fuck you, Kaya. 208 00:09:09,007 --> 00:09:11,259 Good luck repopulating the Earth now. 209 00:09:11,343 --> 00:09:13,011 I'm not in the mood. 210 00:09:13,094 --> 00:09:15,096 [deep voice] You have ten seconds to explain yourselves. 211 00:09:15,180 --> 00:09:17,807 [high-pitched] Oh, and what an honor to meet you. 212 00:09:17,891 --> 00:09:20,685 My daddy spoke so highly of you both. [laughing] 213 00:09:20,810 --> 00:09:21,686 I'm sorry. Do we know you? 214 00:09:21,811 --> 00:09:23,229 [deep voice] Ten seconds. 215 00:09:23,355 --> 00:09:24,689 Okay. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. I'm terrible at brevity. 216 00:09:24,814 --> 00:09:26,149 Okay. So, I hijacked a time-sphere 217 00:09:26,232 --> 00:09:28,360 because I'm, kind of, going through some shit. 218 00:09:28,443 --> 00:09:29,861 And I thought I'd grab my lady here and travel 25 years in the future, 219 00:09:29,986 --> 00:09:31,571 where I could meet our older, wiser selves. 220 00:09:31,696 --> 00:09:33,531 And they could, like, you know, give us the straight poop 221 00:09:33,615 --> 00:09:35,075 on how to live our best lives. 222 00:09:35,200 --> 00:09:37,035 But I must have set it to the year 3,000 or whatever. 223 00:09:37,160 --> 00:09:38,036 [all laughing] 224 00:09:39,829 --> 00:09:41,915 It's 2048. But we all mess up. 225 00:09:42,040 --> 00:09:44,876 Yesterday I wrote 2047 on a check. 226 00:09:44,959 --> 00:09:46,544 [gasps] So, I got it right. 227 00:09:46,670 --> 00:09:48,380 -See, it was intuitive. -Harley. 228 00:09:48,463 --> 00:09:50,715 Okay, fine. You can apologize to me when we get back home. 229 00:09:50,840 --> 00:09:52,717 So, where's future me and future Ivy, huh? 230 00:09:52,842 --> 00:09:55,553 Wait, wait. Don't tell me. We operate a bed and breakfast in Tuscany. 231 00:09:55,637 --> 00:09:58,598 No, no, no. We own and operate a bed and breakfast in Tuscany. 232 00:09:58,723 --> 00:09:59,933 No, wait! It's a chain. 233 00:10:00,058 --> 00:10:01,768 It's a chain which we no longer operate 234 00:10:01,893 --> 00:10:03,937 because we're selling to a Belgian hospitality conglomerate, hmm? 235 00:10:04,062 --> 00:10:05,647 Hate to burst your bubble, 236 00:10:05,730 --> 00:10:09,234 but you two are D-E-A-D dead. 237 00:10:09,317 --> 00:10:13,238 You're pretty much looking at what's left of humanity and shark-manity. 238 00:10:13,321 --> 00:10:15,240 Yeah. I'm just gonna need, like, a little more context. 239 00:10:15,323 --> 00:10:18,576 In the year 2024, our world went dark. 240 00:10:18,702 --> 00:10:22,789 Crops died, the soil was toxic, global economies collapsed. 241 00:10:22,914 --> 00:10:28,086 Gotham became a police state, ruled by the last remaining member of the Bat Family, 242 00:10:28,169 --> 00:10:30,005 Robin. 243 00:10:30,088 --> 00:10:32,966 And yet a small resistance movement 244 00:10:33,091 --> 00:10:35,427 has managed to survive underground, 245 00:10:35,510 --> 00:10:37,178 led by our general, 246 00:10:37,262 --> 00:10:40,724 said to be the chosen one who will lead us to a victory 247 00:10:40,807 --> 00:10:43,601 over Robin's drone army. 248 00:10:43,685 --> 00:10:48,523 Wow. That was, like, really dramatic and engaging. Great stuff. 249 00:10:48,606 --> 00:10:51,651 Oh, thank you. I was actually a voice-over artist before the world ended. 250 00:10:51,776 --> 00:10:53,028 [exclaims] Oh, a face for radio. 251 00:10:53,111 --> 00:10:55,655 So, sorry for... For killing the hot guy. 252 00:10:55,780 --> 00:10:58,658 But all we really want to do is just get back to the time-sphere. 253 00:10:58,783 --> 00:11:00,702 [female voice] Oh, we'll help you get the time-sphere. 254 00:11:00,785 --> 00:11:04,664 And you'll help the resistance take down Robin once and for all. 255 00:11:04,789 --> 00:11:05,999 Um, why? 256 00:11:06,124 --> 00:11:09,753 Because you're my moms. 257 00:11:11,421 --> 00:11:12,881 -Holy... -Shit! 258 00:11:14,632 --> 00:11:16,801 Oh, my God. She's gorgeous. 259 00:11:16,885 --> 00:11:18,053 Wait, do we breastfeed you? 260 00:11:18,136 --> 00:11:20,096 Who did it? Who's the sperm donor? 261 00:11:20,180 --> 00:11:21,848 I hate that I'm meeting you all tied up and emotionally at rock bottom. 262 00:11:21,973 --> 00:11:23,725 Are you crazy like me or vegan like Ivy? 263 00:11:23,808 --> 00:11:25,310 [screaming] What did we name you? 264 00:11:25,393 --> 00:11:26,853 Neytiri. 265 00:11:26,978 --> 00:11:29,022 [both laughing] 266 00:11:29,147 --> 00:11:31,024 Like the blue chick from Avatar. 267 00:11:31,149 --> 00:11:33,735 You know, for five years I thought I dreamed that movie 268 00:11:33,818 --> 00:11:35,862 because I was so high when we watched it. 269 00:11:35,987 --> 00:11:37,989 [all gasping] 270 00:11:38,114 --> 00:11:41,409 The Avatar film franchise is widely considered the greatest story ever told. 271 00:11:41,493 --> 00:11:44,412 It's nearly impossible to quantify its impact on our culture. 272 00:11:44,496 --> 00:11:47,332 -I see you, General Neytiri. -And I see you. 273 00:11:47,457 --> 00:11:49,793 There is no way we named her that. 274 00:11:49,876 --> 00:11:52,921 And that's when I realized my crowbar wasn't going to be enough. 275 00:11:53,004 --> 00:11:56,841 So, I took out my knife and I began peeling his silky skin 276 00:11:56,925 --> 00:11:58,718 from his perfect bone structure. 277 00:11:58,843 --> 00:12:01,513 Well, my bone is painfully hard right now. So, how does this end? 278 00:12:01,638 --> 00:12:05,809 With me on the short list for keynote-speaker at next year's MALCon. 279 00:12:05,892 --> 00:12:07,519 It's between me and Amy Schumer. 280 00:12:07,644 --> 00:12:08,853 God, you're a narcissist. 281 00:12:08,978 --> 00:12:10,689 I meant how did it end with Nightwing? 282 00:12:10,772 --> 00:12:13,358 Oh, you know. Tears and pleas for help. 283 00:12:13,441 --> 00:12:15,026 [laughing] Natch! 284 00:12:15,110 --> 00:12:17,362 Bradley in San Diego wants to know 285 00:12:17,445 --> 00:12:19,948 what were Nightwing's last words? 286 00:12:20,031 --> 00:12:21,533 All right. Spill the tea. 287 00:12:21,658 --> 00:12:23,785 -[static buzzing] -What? Rita, are you seeing this? 288 00:12:23,868 --> 00:12:26,413 [deep distorted voice] Joker, Gotham deserves the truth. 289 00:12:26,538 --> 00:12:28,415 Batgirl! Is that you? 290 00:12:28,540 --> 00:12:32,377 [deep distorted voice] No, this is... Madame Justice. 291 00:12:32,460 --> 00:12:33,878 Doesn't matter. Roll the clip! 292 00:12:34,004 --> 00:12:35,005 What clip? We don't have a clip. 293 00:12:35,088 --> 00:12:36,589 Rita, we got a clip? 294 00:12:36,715 --> 00:12:37,799 Hold on a second. It's loading. It's loading. 295 00:12:37,882 --> 00:12:38,967 [beeps] 296 00:12:39,050 --> 00:12:41,428 Behold justice. 297 00:12:41,511 --> 00:12:43,388 [suspenseful music playing] 298 00:12:43,513 --> 00:12:46,182 [Dr. Psycho] What the... What the hell am I looking at here? 299 00:12:46,266 --> 00:12:48,643 Is this one of those hidden-cam porn things? 300 00:12:48,727 --> 00:12:51,271 [deep distorted voice] This footage clearly shows on night in question, 301 00:12:51,396 --> 00:12:53,314 Joker was getting tested for sleep apnea 302 00:12:53,398 --> 00:12:55,525 and thus could not have killed Nightwing. 303 00:12:55,608 --> 00:12:56,818 Madame Justice out. 304 00:12:56,901 --> 00:12:58,695 [laughing] Oh, come on. 305 00:12:58,778 --> 00:13:00,196 You aren't buying this, right? 306 00:13:00,280 --> 00:13:02,407 That's obviously a deep fake. 307 00:13:02,490 --> 00:13:04,034 Listen, shit-face. 308 00:13:04,117 --> 00:13:07,412 The only thing my fans hate more than women in power is stolen valor. 309 00:13:07,495 --> 00:13:08,872 No! No, I didn't. 310 00:13:08,955 --> 00:13:10,749 And look at all the comments. 311 00:13:10,832 --> 00:13:15,337 "Wow, I didn't have Joker's stolen valor on my 2023 bingo card. 312 00:13:15,420 --> 00:13:17,213 LOL. Flop!" 313 00:13:17,297 --> 00:13:20,342 "Joker sucks. Also, the Earth is flat." 314 00:13:20,425 --> 00:13:25,513 We just broke 400,000 sets of ears! 315 00:13:25,597 --> 00:13:27,932 -Bam, sucker! -[sputtering] I did it. 316 00:13:28,058 --> 00:13:29,726 I killed Nightwing. 317 00:13:29,809 --> 00:13:32,479 Me, the clown prince of crime. 318 00:13:32,604 --> 00:13:33,897 You're over, Joker. 319 00:13:33,980 --> 00:13:38,443 There's no coming back from this. [giggles] 320 00:13:38,526 --> 00:13:40,320 -[pleasant music playing] -Speaking of backs, mine's never felt better, 321 00:13:40,445 --> 00:13:42,697 thanks to my new Cleggpedic mattress. 322 00:13:42,781 --> 00:13:44,574 This isn't over. 323 00:13:44,657 --> 00:13:48,495 You can't quash my comeback. 324 00:13:48,578 --> 00:13:51,831 Listen up, team. We will be entering the Robin's nest through the sub-basement, 325 00:13:51,915 --> 00:13:53,583 where a recon team has found a weakness. 326 00:13:53,667 --> 00:13:55,085 I mean, shit on a stick. 327 00:13:55,168 --> 00:13:58,129 Our kid is the leader of the free world. 328 00:13:58,213 --> 00:14:00,298 I mean, no, duh. Right? 329 00:14:00,423 --> 00:14:02,967 King Baby has hacked five captured bat-mech suits 330 00:14:03,051 --> 00:14:06,304 which Resistance Team one will be using to ascend the tower. 331 00:14:06,429 --> 00:14:09,974 Aw, look. She does the little lip-bite thing you do when you're really focused. 332 00:14:10,100 --> 00:14:11,518 [sighs] I love being a mom. 333 00:14:11,643 --> 00:14:12,769 This is, like, the best. 334 00:14:12,852 --> 00:14:15,188 Oh, we're so proud of you, baby. 335 00:14:15,313 --> 00:14:17,565 Yeah. You're doing it, girl. 336 00:14:17,649 --> 00:14:18,858 You get it, get it. 337 00:14:20,568 --> 00:14:22,529 -Cobb-squad assemble. -[legendary music playing] 338 00:14:22,654 --> 00:14:24,030 I mean, I just got chills. 339 00:14:24,155 --> 00:14:25,490 Look... Look at my arm. Look at my arm. 340 00:14:25,573 --> 00:14:26,574 Goosebumps. 341 00:14:26,658 --> 00:14:28,326 -[guns cocking] -[devices whirring] 342 00:14:32,706 --> 00:14:35,834 No, you have to put the nails up to the fill line, then the rocks. 343 00:14:35,917 --> 00:14:38,003 Uh-huh. Okay. 344 00:14:39,671 --> 00:14:42,007 Look at this. She's, like, teaching us. 345 00:14:42,132 --> 00:14:44,217 Wait, wait. Or did we teach you this? 346 00:14:44,843 --> 00:14:46,094 Yeah, totally. 347 00:14:46,177 --> 00:14:48,763 -Wow. -Parenting is so rewarding. 348 00:14:48,847 --> 00:14:50,515 I know you'll have to go back, 349 00:14:50,598 --> 00:14:54,519 but even this little time together just means everything to me. 350 00:14:54,602 --> 00:14:56,646 Is it too much, if I asked for a hug? 351 00:14:56,730 --> 00:14:57,897 [both exclaiming] Aw! 352 00:14:58,023 --> 00:14:59,816 [all groaning] 353 00:14:59,899 --> 00:15:02,736 Love you. Oh, I do. I love you. 354 00:15:02,861 --> 00:15:03,695 [Harley exclaiming] 355 00:15:04,738 --> 00:15:06,364 [tense music playing] 356 00:15:13,872 --> 00:15:16,666 [whirring] 357 00:15:22,839 --> 00:15:23,673 [screaming] 358 00:15:26,426 --> 00:15:29,929 Okay. Is it just me, or is all this a little too easy? 359 00:15:33,391 --> 00:15:34,476 [screaming] Look out! 360 00:15:36,102 --> 00:15:38,563 Argh! 361 00:15:38,646 --> 00:15:41,733 You know what? I think it's just our incredible daughter's work ethic, 362 00:15:41,858 --> 00:15:43,360 which she gets from me, 363 00:15:43,443 --> 00:15:46,196 and the incomprehensible confidence that she gets from you. 364 00:15:46,988 --> 00:15:48,490 [King Baby] Watch out! 365 00:15:48,573 --> 00:15:49,908 [both screaming] 366 00:15:49,991 --> 00:15:51,159 [grunting] 367 00:15:54,954 --> 00:15:58,500 Thanks, King Baby. You know, your dad was the only villain with the stones 368 00:15:58,583 --> 00:16:00,293 to take my calls after I went Bat. 369 00:16:00,418 --> 00:16:04,005 Sometimes your new friends are not your new friends. 370 00:16:04,089 --> 00:16:05,215 You feel me? 371 00:16:11,429 --> 00:16:13,932 [Robin] I fucking told you worthless dumb-shits, 372 00:16:14,015 --> 00:16:15,975 I wanted contactless delivery. 373 00:16:16,101 --> 00:16:20,271 I'm in the middle of crushing a peasant uprising in Neo Bludhaven. 374 00:16:23,817 --> 00:16:25,985 Resistance is futile. 375 00:16:26,111 --> 00:16:26,986 [electricity crackling] 376 00:16:27,112 --> 00:16:28,780 God damn it, Alfred. 377 00:16:28,905 --> 00:16:31,783 I thought I told you to kill all the remaining human servants. 378 00:16:31,908 --> 00:16:34,536 Master Robin, we have company. 379 00:16:34,619 --> 00:16:35,620 Oh, fuck. 380 00:16:35,704 --> 00:16:38,415 [slurps] You're early, General Neytiri. 381 00:16:39,582 --> 00:16:41,418 [both groaning] 382 00:16:41,501 --> 00:16:42,794 [Poison Ivy] Damn it, Cheryl. 383 00:16:42,919 --> 00:16:44,462 [sinister music playing] 384 00:16:44,546 --> 00:16:46,965 -[gasps] What's happening? -Welcome to the Robin's Nest. 385 00:16:47,048 --> 00:16:52,012 Not only am I the architect and engineer of this awesome dystopian society, 386 00:16:52,137 --> 00:16:53,847 I am also a collector. 387 00:16:53,972 --> 00:16:58,560 And now, you and Ivy will be the newest additions to my menagerie. 388 00:17:01,312 --> 00:17:03,148 Oh, that looks unpleasant. 389 00:17:03,273 --> 00:17:04,898 You ungrateful little shit. 390 00:17:04,983 --> 00:17:07,318 I used to check your Halloween candy for anthrax. 391 00:17:07,444 --> 00:17:08,486 [Neytiri] All right, Robin. 392 00:17:08,611 --> 00:17:09,988 I held up my end of the bargain. 393 00:17:10,113 --> 00:17:11,406 Now hand it over. 394 00:17:15,535 --> 00:17:19,122 -You sold us out? -For a bag of fucking dirt. 395 00:17:19,204 --> 00:17:21,665 We call it Unobtanium, Mother. 396 00:17:21,750 --> 00:17:23,209 Oh, fuck off! 397 00:17:23,335 --> 00:17:26,880 Wow. Sass like that wins you a spot in the trophy case, 398 00:17:27,005 --> 00:17:28,923 next to a Kite Man. 399 00:17:29,007 --> 00:17:30,133 Restrain them. 400 00:17:31,843 --> 00:17:33,511 [Neytiri] RIP, Moms. 401 00:17:33,595 --> 00:17:36,056 At least I finally got something out of this relationship. 402 00:17:36,181 --> 00:17:37,223 How dare you? 403 00:17:37,349 --> 00:17:38,892 Well, why did you do this to us? 404 00:17:39,017 --> 00:17:40,894 We are cool moms. 405 00:17:41,019 --> 00:17:42,437 We deserve answers. 406 00:17:42,520 --> 00:17:44,189 You don't deserve shit. 407 00:17:44,272 --> 00:17:46,524 And there's no such thing as a cool mom. 408 00:17:46,608 --> 00:17:49,527 God, you guys are so fucking self-obsessed. 409 00:17:49,652 --> 00:17:51,237 What are you so fucking upset about? 410 00:17:51,363 --> 00:17:52,530 You turned out okay. 411 00:17:52,655 --> 00:17:54,657 Yeah. Thanks to Cheryl who raised me. 412 00:17:54,741 --> 00:17:59,204 [gasps] Cheryl. All right, that explains the backstabbing instincts. 413 00:17:59,287 --> 00:18:02,040 I'm a survivor, should I blow with the wind. 414 00:18:02,165 --> 00:18:05,335 You two always pretend everything's fine even when you don't agree. 415 00:18:05,418 --> 00:18:06,795 Like first day of kindergarten, 416 00:18:06,878 --> 00:18:08,046 I still didn't have a name. 417 00:18:08,129 --> 00:18:09,714 I had to come up with one myself. 418 00:18:09,839 --> 00:18:13,009 Ha, ha! I knew we didn't pick that stupid name! 419 00:18:13,093 --> 00:18:14,552 My fucking name rules! 420 00:18:14,636 --> 00:18:15,762 It's true. 421 00:18:15,887 --> 00:18:17,263 I wish it were my name. 422 00:18:17,389 --> 00:18:18,682 No, it sucks! 423 00:18:18,765 --> 00:18:20,975 I'm changing it to Princess Lady Fingers. 424 00:18:21,059 --> 00:18:22,519 Remember that weird dream I had 425 00:18:22,602 --> 00:18:24,062 after we hit the bottomless tiramisu at Mama Maxx? 426 00:18:24,187 --> 00:18:25,605 -Yeah, but-- -Cheryl, you're a notary. 427 00:18:25,730 --> 00:18:27,899 File the futuristic paperwork on that shit. 428 00:18:27,982 --> 00:18:28,900 Moms rule! 429 00:18:29,025 --> 00:18:30,276 Oh, seriously? 430 00:18:30,402 --> 00:18:32,362 And not to feed into your monstrous egos, 431 00:18:32,445 --> 00:18:36,324 but FYI, you guys doubling down on your own bullshit caused the apocalypse. 432 00:18:36,408 --> 00:18:38,993 Oh, well, that's a little overdramatic! 433 00:18:39,077 --> 00:18:40,412 Wonder where she got that from? 434 00:18:40,495 --> 00:18:43,748 [yelling] Excuse me! 435 00:18:43,873 --> 00:18:45,542 Stop yelling. 436 00:18:45,625 --> 00:18:47,002 I don't want your faces all stretched out when I freeze you. 437 00:18:47,085 --> 00:18:49,504 -Cheryl, where are we at? -Freeze up and running. 438 00:18:49,587 --> 00:18:51,506 Bat-drones, bring me my trophies. 439 00:18:51,589 --> 00:18:53,258 Fuck! Are we in a fight right now? 440 00:18:53,341 --> 00:18:54,718 'Cause I don't want to die in a fight. 441 00:18:54,801 --> 00:18:57,053 No. No, we're not fighting. I love you. 442 00:18:57,137 --> 00:18:58,388 [Poison Ivy] I love you, too. 443 00:18:58,471 --> 00:19:00,515 Oh, my God! You suck at communicating! 444 00:19:00,598 --> 00:19:02,142 [Poison Ivy] Excuse me. That's not true. 445 00:19:02,267 --> 00:19:04,769 We tell each other everything like how we like our eggs, 446 00:19:04,894 --> 00:19:06,980 or how Harley masturbates to The Iron Lady. 447 00:19:07,105 --> 00:19:09,441 Okay. That was once and was basically by accident. 448 00:19:10,275 --> 00:19:12,068 Ugh! Okay, listen. 449 00:19:12,152 --> 00:19:13,611 In the interest of clearing the air before we get cryo-frozen, 450 00:19:13,737 --> 00:19:15,447 our double-crossing love child is right. 451 00:19:15,530 --> 00:19:17,615 I haven't told you, I'm losing my mind. 452 00:19:17,699 --> 00:19:19,451 Honey, you're always losing your mind. 453 00:19:19,534 --> 00:19:20,869 Yeah. This time it's different. 454 00:19:20,952 --> 00:19:22,620 I've been sleepwalking, hallucinating. 455 00:19:22,746 --> 00:19:24,205 I had an out-of-body experience. 456 00:19:24,289 --> 00:19:25,957 I saw another me. 457 00:19:26,041 --> 00:19:27,042 Okay. 458 00:19:27,125 --> 00:19:28,752 Why didn't you just tell me? 459 00:19:28,835 --> 00:19:32,630 I tried, but I kept getting talk-blocked by your assistant! 460 00:19:32,714 --> 00:19:33,798 [both gasp] 461 00:19:34,883 --> 00:19:35,967 [Harley] King Baby! 462 00:19:36,051 --> 00:19:37,385 Ha! 463 00:19:40,305 --> 00:19:42,474 Oh, my God. Quick! Now's our chance. 464 00:19:45,810 --> 00:19:48,146 -Come on, stupid-fucking thing. -[electricity buzzing] 465 00:19:48,271 --> 00:19:49,773 I just upgraded this shit. 466 00:19:51,316 --> 00:19:52,650 [grunts] 467 00:19:52,734 --> 00:19:55,570 -[Neytiri] My dirt! No! -[Robin] No! 468 00:19:55,653 --> 00:19:57,655 You're clogging my pee-pee drain! 469 00:19:57,781 --> 00:19:58,698 Get them, Cheryl. 470 00:20:00,492 --> 00:20:03,119 -[thuds] -[scream echoing] 471 00:20:03,203 --> 00:20:05,330 Argh! You're ruining my life! 472 00:20:05,413 --> 00:20:07,207 You guys fuck everything up! 473 00:20:07,332 --> 00:20:10,001 Okay, yes. Yes, in this situation, I did fuck everything up for you. 474 00:20:10,085 --> 00:20:12,003 -However-- -Look out! 475 00:20:12,087 --> 00:20:13,338 I did it for us. 476 00:20:13,421 --> 00:20:15,548 Everything I do is for us. 477 00:20:15,674 --> 00:20:18,343 What? So, you're killing it and I'm not, and I just have to learn to deal with that? 478 00:20:18,426 --> 00:20:22,389 No, no, no. I just thought these work boundaries would protect us. 479 00:20:22,514 --> 00:20:25,934 -[groans] -But they pushed us apart. 480 00:20:26,017 --> 00:20:28,019 You're right. I need to be there for you. 481 00:20:28,103 --> 00:20:29,854 We are a team. 482 00:20:31,314 --> 00:20:32,816 You're so full of shit! [grunts] 483 00:20:32,899 --> 00:20:35,193 Ha! The adults are talking, kiddo! 484 00:20:35,318 --> 00:20:37,362 Oh, my God! We're the same age. 485 00:20:37,445 --> 00:20:38,363 But we're still your parents. 486 00:20:38,446 --> 00:20:40,198 And you know what? 487 00:20:40,281 --> 00:20:41,950 -You're grounded. -[groans] 488 00:20:42,033 --> 00:20:43,159 MILF alert. 489 00:20:43,243 --> 00:20:45,036 Fucking yes! 490 00:20:45,120 --> 00:20:46,204 She doesn't even know us. 491 00:20:46,287 --> 00:20:47,372 [screaming] 492 00:20:49,249 --> 00:20:52,544 We make great parents. [grunts] Someday, someday. 493 00:20:55,714 --> 00:20:57,549 -[groans softly] -Yeah, someday. 494 00:20:57,674 --> 00:20:59,050 I fixed the time-sphere. 495 00:20:59,134 --> 00:21:01,261 -Go time. -Not so fast. 496 00:21:01,344 --> 00:21:03,555 [groans] Pins and needles. Pins and needles. 497 00:21:03,680 --> 00:21:05,765 King Baby, why did you help us? 498 00:21:05,890 --> 00:21:08,059 I think you two can go back and do better. 499 00:21:08,143 --> 00:21:09,394 Raise a nice kid 500 00:21:09,519 --> 00:21:10,937 and stop Lex from destroying the planet. 501 00:21:11,062 --> 00:21:13,940 Oh! An optimist like his dad. You love to see it. 502 00:21:14,065 --> 00:21:15,775 Wait a minute. What did you say about Lex? 503 00:21:15,900 --> 00:21:18,987 The system has rebooted, Master. 504 00:21:19,070 --> 00:21:20,989 Oh, shit. We gotta go. Come with us! 505 00:21:21,072 --> 00:21:23,908 No, I'd rather go to bed tonight and wake up to a new reality. 506 00:21:24,034 --> 00:21:26,536 Like maybe one that's focused on a different kind of movie, 507 00:21:26,619 --> 00:21:30,749 like a jukebox musical based on the music of a certain Swedish pop band. 508 00:21:30,832 --> 00:21:33,918 Good luck. We'll make sure this apocalypse doesn't happen. 509 00:21:34,044 --> 00:21:37,005 Give me a smooch on my little baby-boy head next time you see me. 510 00:21:37,088 --> 00:21:39,215 And make sure Princess Lady Fingers puts some ice on that. Okay? 511 00:21:39,299 --> 00:21:40,592 Bye! 512 00:21:41,718 --> 00:21:42,927 -[screaming] -[electricity buzzing] 513 00:21:44,429 --> 00:21:46,890 Holy shit! That was wild. 514 00:21:46,973 --> 00:21:49,476 [chuckles] Fucking crazy. 515 00:21:49,601 --> 00:21:50,852 Also kind of fun. 516 00:21:50,935 --> 00:21:52,896 I'm just so glad you jumped in here after me. 517 00:21:52,979 --> 00:21:54,189 Weirdly, me too. 518 00:21:54,272 --> 00:21:55,607 I mean, I don't know how to fix all of our problems, 519 00:21:55,732 --> 00:21:57,609 but I know we're better together. 520 00:21:57,692 --> 00:22:01,821 Yes, and whatever caused the apocalypse, we'll see it coming a mile away. 521 00:22:03,865 --> 00:22:05,033 [automated voice speaking] Mind the gap. 522 00:22:06,451 --> 00:22:07,952 [both gasp] 523 00:22:08,036 --> 00:22:10,789 -[siren wailing] -[Poison Ivy] Wait. Are we back? 524 00:22:10,914 --> 00:22:13,583 We are. Wait. Did we leave on the 21st or the 27th? 525 00:22:13,667 --> 00:22:14,959 What the fuck is this font? 526 00:22:15,085 --> 00:22:17,170 The one and the seven look the same! 527 00:22:17,295 --> 00:22:19,172 We're six days in the future? 528 00:22:19,297 --> 00:22:21,508 They made it too fancy. 529 00:22:21,633 --> 00:22:23,802 [theme music playing]