1 00:00:13,638 --> 00:00:15,056 -[Harley grunts] -[thunder rumbles] 2 00:00:16,808 --> 00:00:19,185 [Harley grunting] 3 00:00:20,228 --> 00:00:21,062 [Bethany grunts] 4 00:00:21,146 --> 00:00:22,272 Give him up. 5 00:00:22,355 --> 00:00:23,648 I'll never betray the man I love. 6 00:00:23,773 --> 00:00:25,567 Even after he disgraced your family? 7 00:00:25,650 --> 00:00:27,610 -[Bethany grunting] -On a podcast! 8 00:00:27,694 --> 00:00:29,362 [both grunting] 9 00:00:30,363 --> 00:00:31,239 He shot my friend. 10 00:00:31,322 --> 00:00:33,116 Now tell me where he is. 11 00:00:33,199 --> 00:00:35,201 [spits] I'm an ER Nurse. 12 00:00:35,326 --> 00:00:36,661 You'll have to kill me, bitch. 13 00:00:36,786 --> 00:00:39,664 -I was hoping you'd say that. -[metal clangs] 14 00:00:39,789 --> 00:00:41,041 [thunder rumbling] 15 00:00:41,166 --> 00:00:43,001 Get out of our house, clown. 16 00:00:43,126 --> 00:00:44,502 You don't wanna do this. 17 00:00:44,586 --> 00:00:45,628 Try me. 18 00:00:45,712 --> 00:00:47,172 [grunts and snarls] 19 00:00:51,634 --> 00:00:53,928 Uh, fuck. 20 00:00:54,012 --> 00:00:56,348 Bravo! Threatening children. 21 00:00:56,473 --> 00:00:59,976 It's certainly a new color of heroism for the Bat family. 22 00:01:00,060 --> 00:01:02,645 I'm not in the Bat family anymore. 23 00:01:04,272 --> 00:01:06,441 [theme music playing] 24 00:01:09,694 --> 00:01:11,905 Hope my favorite patient's hungry. 25 00:01:12,030 --> 00:01:13,239 -[sighs] -Three pillows? 26 00:01:13,365 --> 00:01:14,699 Come on, LeAnne. 27 00:01:14,783 --> 00:01:16,242 -That is some shabby service. -[Barbara growls] 28 00:01:16,368 --> 00:01:17,577 I said I'd call you when I'm discharged. 29 00:01:17,702 --> 00:01:19,371 I thought maybe your phone was stolen. 30 00:01:19,496 --> 00:01:21,664 Medical facilities are infamous for electronics theft. 31 00:01:21,748 --> 00:01:25,251 I asked for space to adjust to being paralyzed from the waist down 32 00:01:25,377 --> 00:01:27,379 and you keep filling my room with casseroles. 33 00:01:27,504 --> 00:01:28,922 Who do you think washes all these? 34 00:01:29,047 --> 00:01:31,675 I assume LeAnne. Not like she's doing anything else. 35 00:01:34,844 --> 00:01:36,596 Dude, I only have four minutes before shift change 36 00:01:36,721 --> 00:01:38,056 to hack into the billing system. 37 00:01:38,139 --> 00:01:39,598 So, thanks for stopping by. 38 00:01:42,894 --> 00:01:44,062 I think she's on her period. 39 00:01:44,187 --> 00:01:46,898 Oh, Fates, release your grasp. 40 00:01:46,981 --> 00:01:48,566 Take me instead. 41 00:01:48,692 --> 00:01:52,529 When I find the monster responsible for shooting my Babsy, 42 00:01:52,612 --> 00:01:56,741 these old tuna cans are going to tear him limb from limb, 43 00:01:56,866 --> 00:01:58,618 eat the very flesh from his bones, 44 00:01:58,743 --> 00:02:01,162 then make a soothing broth with his carcass 45 00:02:01,246 --> 00:02:03,289 to use as a base in stews. 46 00:02:03,415 --> 00:02:05,709 Then I'm going to learn how to make a stew. 47 00:02:05,792 --> 00:02:09,003 Look, I totally feel you, and I wish I could help, 48 00:02:09,086 --> 00:02:12,966 but I'm taking some me time away from hero-ing. 49 00:02:13,091 --> 00:02:16,094 My first time was in the back of my mom's station wagon. 50 00:02:16,219 --> 00:02:18,346 I did it with 20 other people. 51 00:02:18,430 --> 00:02:19,597 I was the only woman. 52 00:02:19,681 --> 00:02:21,975 Mine was on my wedding night. 53 00:02:22,100 --> 00:02:23,518 My husband's still mad. 54 00:02:23,601 --> 00:02:26,062 But you never forget your first corporate takedown. 55 00:02:26,146 --> 00:02:27,939 To Ivy. 56 00:02:28,023 --> 00:02:29,399 -Aw, thanks. -[applauding] 57 00:02:29,482 --> 00:02:32,027 But, you know, it still feels very unresolved. 58 00:02:32,110 --> 00:02:34,279 Like... Like, nothing's changed. 59 00:02:34,362 --> 00:02:35,488 Change? 60 00:02:35,613 --> 00:02:37,406 Honey, we're trying to get paid. 61 00:02:37,490 --> 00:02:39,117 On to more pressing topics, 62 00:02:39,200 --> 00:02:42,454 -Lex's birthday party on the moon. -[crowd cheers] 63 00:02:42,579 --> 00:02:46,291 You... Lex as in Lex Luthor or... 64 00:02:46,374 --> 00:02:48,626 He's turning 40 for the 16th time. 65 00:02:48,710 --> 00:02:52,005 Guys, we just cheers-ed to me defeating him. 66 00:02:52,130 --> 00:02:55,466 Last year, he rode in on the back of the JFK car 67 00:02:55,591 --> 00:02:57,344 in Jackie's pink suit. 68 00:02:57,469 --> 00:02:58,720 It was so funny. 69 00:02:58,803 --> 00:03:00,472 [all laughing] 70 00:03:00,597 --> 00:03:02,474 Wait, wait, wait. With Lex gone, 71 00:03:02,599 --> 00:03:05,810 we now have the ability to create something new. 72 00:03:05,894 --> 00:03:08,938 Like a... Like an all-female LOD. 73 00:03:09,022 --> 00:03:12,650 We could really do some socially conscious evil. 74 00:03:12,776 --> 00:03:13,693 Right? 75 00:03:13,818 --> 00:03:15,737 Aw, you were serious about that? 76 00:03:15,820 --> 00:03:20,158 That's why I took the job. To make real change. 77 00:03:20,283 --> 00:03:22,160 Ivy, you know how it works. 78 00:03:22,243 --> 00:03:24,329 We win, we lose, we go to parties. 79 00:03:24,412 --> 00:03:26,081 It's business. Don't make it so personal. 80 00:03:26,164 --> 00:03:27,916 Now, in honor of your big day, 81 00:03:27,999 --> 00:03:30,627 which of these sad, flaccid businessmen 82 00:03:30,710 --> 00:03:33,546 do you wanna throw spoiled fruit at? 83 00:03:33,672 --> 00:03:35,840 -[fruit splatters] -[camera shutters clicking] 84 00:03:38,009 --> 00:03:40,679 [Joker grunts] Ugh, oh. 85 00:03:40,762 --> 00:03:43,473 Is this because I lied about killing Nightwing? 86 00:03:43,555 --> 00:03:46,393 See, I had to shoot Batgirl to make up for it. 87 00:03:46,518 --> 00:03:49,020 Now my comeback's double squashed. 88 00:03:49,103 --> 00:03:53,400 I have 1,000 "Joker shot Batgirl" T-shirts sitting at the printer. 89 00:03:53,525 --> 00:03:55,442 I'm going to lose my deposit. 90 00:03:55,527 --> 00:03:57,028 -Order up. -[animals screeching] 91 00:03:57,112 --> 00:03:58,822 [snarling and growling] 92 00:04:00,115 --> 00:04:01,282 Oh, Harley. Come on. 93 00:04:01,366 --> 00:04:02,867 We both know this is not how I die. 94 00:04:02,992 --> 00:04:05,370 Right, this is gonna be too quick with hyenas. 95 00:04:05,495 --> 00:04:07,455 -I'm gonna lose the meat juice. -[Joker grunting] 96 00:04:07,539 --> 00:04:10,250 [shouting and spitting] 97 00:04:10,375 --> 00:04:12,961 How many times must we do this dance? 98 00:04:13,044 --> 00:04:14,963 No, no, no. I'm just debating the perfect way to kill you 99 00:04:15,046 --> 00:04:17,214 that won't offend my friend who hates killing. 100 00:04:17,339 --> 00:04:19,551 I know killer's block when I see it. 101 00:04:19,676 --> 00:04:22,345 How'd you like me to hook jumper cables up to your 'nads? 102 00:04:22,429 --> 00:04:23,805 Jumper cables? 103 00:04:23,888 --> 00:04:27,058 You've seen too many shitty A24 horror movies. 104 00:04:27,183 --> 00:04:29,477 -You're allergic to peanuts, right? -[Joker] Shellfish. 105 00:04:29,561 --> 00:04:31,688 If you were bad, you would have done it by now. 106 00:04:31,771 --> 00:04:34,232 And if you were good, I'd be in jail. 107 00:04:34,315 --> 00:04:35,817 So which is it, Harley? 108 00:04:35,900 --> 00:04:39,446 Are you good or bad? [chuckling] 109 00:04:39,571 --> 00:04:42,365 Maybe I'm neither. Maybe I'm in the middle. 110 00:04:42,449 --> 00:04:44,743 You know who's in the middle? 111 00:04:44,868 --> 00:04:46,828 Normies. Uggos. 112 00:04:46,911 --> 00:04:50,415 That forgettable drip I send my itemized receipts to. 113 00:04:50,540 --> 00:04:51,750 You want vengeance? 114 00:04:51,875 --> 00:04:54,002 -Come at me, dawg. -[cell phone beeps] 115 00:04:54,085 --> 00:04:55,211 [hyenas growl] 116 00:04:55,295 --> 00:04:57,005 Oh, my business goddess needs me. 117 00:04:57,088 --> 00:04:59,507 Damn. How did she even get the camera to that angle? 118 00:04:59,591 --> 00:05:01,801 [laughs] Another stall. 119 00:05:01,926 --> 00:05:03,428 Wait. Can I get some trail mix? 120 00:05:03,553 --> 00:05:05,847 My blood sugar is crashing. 121 00:05:05,930 --> 00:05:07,265 [groans] 122 00:05:07,349 --> 00:05:09,642 -[slurps] -[camera shutter clicks] 123 00:05:09,768 --> 00:05:11,770 [Poison Ivy] Fucking, what the dick? 124 00:05:11,895 --> 00:05:14,064 All these one-percenters and butlers of one-percenters 125 00:05:14,147 --> 00:05:17,609 wouldn't know accountability if it stopped up their golden shitters. 126 00:05:17,692 --> 00:05:19,361 Are we not still happy that you took Lex down? 127 00:05:19,444 --> 00:05:22,197 I mean, it's never enough for you moguls. You're insatiable. 128 00:05:22,280 --> 00:05:23,865 [sighs] I didn't take him down. 129 00:05:23,948 --> 00:05:26,451 He just basically relocated to the moon. 130 00:05:26,576 --> 00:05:30,246 Oh, oh. You know what makes me feel better when I can't destroy my enemies? 131 00:05:30,330 --> 00:05:32,457 Dry humping in the closet. 132 00:05:33,207 --> 00:05:34,376 What are these bags? 133 00:05:34,459 --> 00:05:36,294 They're from the EWBC lunches. Ugh! 134 00:05:36,378 --> 00:05:38,463 Those business tote-cunts. 135 00:05:38,588 --> 00:05:40,340 [Harley reading] 136 00:05:40,465 --> 00:05:41,549 Is that a typo? 137 00:05:42,634 --> 00:05:44,260 You know what? I have an idea. 138 00:05:44,344 --> 00:05:46,429 Wanna be my plus-one to a birthday party on the moon? 139 00:05:46,513 --> 00:05:47,847 [gasps] Do I have time to shave my legs? 140 00:05:47,972 --> 00:05:49,683 Fuck it, yes! Rip out Lex's fillers 141 00:05:49,808 --> 00:05:52,435 and show everyone I am a very decisive revenger, 142 00:05:52,519 --> 00:05:53,812 not a staller. 143 00:05:53,937 --> 00:05:55,772 So, you... Wait, you haven't killed Joker yet? 144 00:05:55,855 --> 00:05:57,649 I'm so sorry to make your thing my thing. 145 00:05:57,732 --> 00:05:59,484 Boss Bitch Level Infinity. 146 00:05:59,609 --> 00:06:00,527 Okay, this one's kind of cute. 147 00:06:00,652 --> 00:06:03,238 No, I know. Let's bring it. 148 00:06:03,321 --> 00:06:04,739 [indistinct conversation] 149 00:06:08,326 --> 00:06:10,036 The mother box. 150 00:06:10,161 --> 00:06:14,332 My favorite means of intergalactic travel and body part. Wink. 151 00:06:14,416 --> 00:06:15,834 Harls, focus. 152 00:06:15,917 --> 00:06:18,211 I can't wait to see those EWBC turncoats' faces 153 00:06:18,336 --> 00:06:21,423 when I fucking destroy that little birthday boy. 154 00:06:21,506 --> 00:06:24,134 Ivy? Oh, you've come to your senses. 155 00:06:24,217 --> 00:06:26,720 Yep. That's what I've done. 156 00:06:26,845 --> 00:06:29,848 And you brought your hag. Wonderful. 157 00:06:29,973 --> 00:06:30,682 Talia al Ghul. 158 00:06:30,765 --> 00:06:32,350 We've met countless times. 159 00:06:32,475 --> 00:06:34,269 Smells like... [sniffs] 160 00:06:34,352 --> 00:06:37,856 -...corporate espionage and Gotham Lady Perfume. -[creature chuckles] 161 00:06:37,981 --> 00:06:40,942 [chuckles] Are we at Lex's b-day party? 162 00:06:41,026 --> 00:06:43,028 You're not a guest. You're luggage. 163 00:06:43,153 --> 00:06:46,656 Everyone knows if you don't kill a hostage in the first 24 days, 164 00:06:46,740 --> 00:06:48,575 it's never gonna happen. [chuckles] 165 00:06:48,700 --> 00:06:49,868 [both grunting] 166 00:06:49,993 --> 00:06:52,287 Ooh, good to see you, girl. [laughs] 167 00:06:52,370 --> 00:06:53,830 I just had my ass done 168 00:06:53,913 --> 00:06:56,332 and if I pop a stitch, I'm out of pocket for touch-ups. 169 00:06:56,416 --> 00:06:58,710 Love your leash. [giggles] 170 00:06:58,835 --> 00:07:00,545 Did you copy it from me? 171 00:07:00,628 --> 00:07:03,548 Oh. Ooh, Harley, come join the plus-ones. 172 00:07:03,673 --> 00:07:05,300 [Harley] Ooh, 173 00:07:05,383 --> 00:07:07,135 playing a little five-card stud with your wives' purse money? 174 00:07:07,218 --> 00:07:08,803 [chuckling] Well, we do like to stir up trouble 175 00:07:08,887 --> 00:07:10,597 while our ladies talk shop. 176 00:07:10,722 --> 00:07:13,808 You know, being an evil She-EO's plus-one is harder than it looks. 177 00:07:13,892 --> 00:07:15,727 Can't wear socks with loafers anymore. 178 00:07:15,810 --> 00:07:18,563 Hmm. That must be a challenge for those of you with feminine ankles. 179 00:07:18,646 --> 00:07:20,106 [laughs] Wit. You are funny. 180 00:07:20,231 --> 00:07:22,150 We have been looking for a funny plus-one. 181 00:07:22,233 --> 00:07:23,735 [both laughing] 182 00:07:23,818 --> 00:07:26,404 Any of you cucks know where I can take a wiz? 183 00:07:26,529 --> 00:07:28,073 Girlfriend, no. 184 00:07:28,156 --> 00:07:29,949 Guests of guests aren't allowed to use Lex's bathrooms. 185 00:07:30,075 --> 00:07:31,993 You'll need to go next door, which requires finding a valet, 186 00:07:32,077 --> 00:07:33,620 and then take a moon buggy, and then-- 187 00:07:33,745 --> 00:07:35,205 Yeah, I'll figure it out. 188 00:07:35,288 --> 00:07:36,664 Thanks. 189 00:07:36,748 --> 00:07:38,707 So, now that you've proven to be sound of mind, 190 00:07:38,792 --> 00:07:40,377 I'd love to let you in on my plans 191 00:07:40,460 --> 00:07:42,170 -for Lazaru and the Hot Springs. -[Veronica grunts] 192 00:07:42,253 --> 00:07:45,382 We're taking anti-aging science to the brink of legality. 193 00:07:45,465 --> 00:07:48,927 Edging with the legal system is my love language. 194 00:07:49,010 --> 00:07:50,553 Cheers! 195 00:07:51,680 --> 00:07:54,099 Still waiting on that trail mix. 196 00:07:54,182 --> 00:07:57,477 I'll take baby pretzels at this point, Jesus. 197 00:07:57,602 --> 00:08:00,897 You're lucky I don't feed you to the dark void of space. 198 00:08:02,524 --> 00:08:03,650 [button beeping] 199 00:08:07,696 --> 00:08:09,447 Ugh, no ladies room on the moon. 200 00:08:09,572 --> 00:08:10,407 Fucking figures. 201 00:08:10,490 --> 00:08:12,117 [man groans] 202 00:08:13,076 --> 00:08:14,786 [grunting] 203 00:08:16,287 --> 00:08:18,081 Help me. Harley! 204 00:08:18,164 --> 00:08:20,000 -[gasps] -[groans] 205 00:08:20,125 --> 00:08:21,376 -Superman? -[camera shutter clicks] 206 00:08:21,459 --> 00:08:23,044 No. No photos. 207 00:08:23,128 --> 00:08:24,879 Okay. Do you know where the bathroom is? 208 00:08:24,963 --> 00:08:27,841 Quick! That button turns off the kryptonite force field. 209 00:08:27,966 --> 00:08:29,843 Uh... I don't wanna get involved. 210 00:08:29,968 --> 00:08:31,720 What? What about the hero code? 211 00:08:31,803 --> 00:08:34,139 Okay, I am a neutral third party these days, hello! 212 00:08:34,264 --> 00:08:35,890 Here for the free drinks and mingling. 213 00:08:35,974 --> 00:08:37,642 Oh, and, of course, to support my bae killing Lex 214 00:08:37,726 --> 00:08:39,852 due to their business, but also personal strifes, you know. 215 00:08:39,977 --> 00:08:42,813 She won't be able to defeat Lex. [groans] 216 00:08:42,938 --> 00:08:44,816 He's become too powerful. 217 00:08:47,235 --> 00:08:50,113 Where's that over the hill hosebeast? 218 00:08:50,196 --> 00:08:51,990 [emcee] Welcome! 219 00:08:52,073 --> 00:08:55,827 Our gracious host, Lex Luthor, has planned a night of treats for his 40th. 220 00:08:55,910 --> 00:08:58,997 We've got poppers, crypto scratch-offs, 221 00:08:59,122 --> 00:09:03,501 and now, a performance by Clayface. 222 00:09:03,626 --> 00:09:05,670 I planned to join in person, 223 00:09:05,754 --> 00:09:08,340 but those monsters at moon customs denied 224 00:09:08,423 --> 00:09:10,800 my emotional support capybara. 225 00:09:10,884 --> 00:09:12,761 [clears throat] 226 00:09:12,844 --> 00:09:15,096 [singing] ♪ Happy birth... ♪ 227 00:09:15,180 --> 00:09:18,099 -'Tis I! SuperLex Man. -[guests clamoring] 228 00:09:18,183 --> 00:09:20,185 [cheering] 229 00:09:21,394 --> 00:09:23,063 Okay. 230 00:09:23,188 --> 00:09:27,525 He used the ozone laser to block the sun until I was weak enough. 231 00:09:27,609 --> 00:09:30,653 I'm the most powerful man alive. 232 00:09:30,737 --> 00:09:32,489 Then he took me prisoner, 233 00:09:32,572 --> 00:09:35,241 took my cape, drained my powers... 234 00:09:35,367 --> 00:09:37,702 ...absorbed him physically and mentally. 235 00:09:37,786 --> 00:09:38,870 ...and worst of all, 236 00:09:38,995 --> 00:09:40,497 -he has my hair! -I have his hair. 237 00:09:40,580 --> 00:09:42,374 Oh, fuck. Ivy! 238 00:09:42,457 --> 00:09:44,542 Hey, what about me? [thuds] 239 00:09:44,668 --> 00:09:47,837 ♪ Happy Birthday ♪ 240 00:09:47,921 --> 00:09:50,298 -♪ To you ♪ -Ivy, how big of you to come. 241 00:09:50,382 --> 00:09:52,634 Sadly, the caterers didn't plan for crashers. 242 00:09:52,717 --> 00:09:54,302 Oh, I'm not here to eat. 243 00:09:54,386 --> 00:09:56,763 I'm here to kill you and then wear your skin as a trophy. 244 00:09:56,888 --> 00:09:58,223 [dog yelps] 245 00:10:01,142 --> 00:10:01,976 [grunts] 246 00:10:02,727 --> 00:10:03,937 [both growling] 247 00:10:04,062 --> 00:10:07,691 -[Lex grunts] -[all exclaiming] Oh! 248 00:10:07,774 --> 00:10:12,612 How does it feel to be less powerful than me in every way? 249 00:10:12,737 --> 00:10:15,949 [scoffs] You have always underestimated me. 250 00:10:16,074 --> 00:10:17,617 [grunts] 251 00:10:17,742 --> 00:10:21,705 I think I estimated you accurately. 252 00:10:21,788 --> 00:10:25,041 -Some light compliments, a gorgeous PR team... -[Poison Ivy grunts] 253 00:10:25,125 --> 00:10:29,170 -...and you became a perfectly ineffective puppet... -Ah! 254 00:10:29,254 --> 00:10:32,924 -[grunts] -...to warm my seat at the LOD while I built this. 255 00:10:33,049 --> 00:10:35,427 [grunts] Oh, I... I... I'll show you who's a puppet. 256 00:10:36,553 --> 00:10:38,805 -[Lex grunts] -[all gasp] 257 00:10:42,809 --> 00:10:45,061 [both grunting] 258 00:10:50,984 --> 00:10:52,527 This is why I don't do private gigs. 259 00:10:52,610 --> 00:10:55,864 I should have learned my lesson at Cher's Easter brunch. 260 00:10:55,947 --> 00:10:58,074 [Veronica] I saw Tony Robbins do this in Miami. 261 00:10:58,158 --> 00:11:00,326 Then he ate my gooch on the sundeck for three hours. 262 00:11:00,452 --> 00:11:01,619 [grunts] Ugh! 263 00:11:01,745 --> 00:11:03,455 Oh, you think this is a party trick? 264 00:11:03,580 --> 00:11:05,999 Wake up! Don't you see how dangerous he is? 265 00:11:06,124 --> 00:11:08,126 Fighting Lex at his own party? 266 00:11:08,251 --> 00:11:09,502 Such a bad look. 267 00:11:09,627 --> 00:11:12,297 Powerful businesswomen take an L and move on. 268 00:11:12,380 --> 00:11:14,758 I thought you would understand that from my mentoring. 269 00:11:14,841 --> 00:11:17,802 Lose my number and my real number. 270 00:11:20,013 --> 00:11:22,766 Screw this. I don't need friends. 271 00:11:22,849 --> 00:11:25,435 I... I'm a powerful businesswoman. 272 00:11:25,518 --> 00:11:26,978 [grunts] 273 00:11:27,062 --> 00:11:31,358 Lady trees, socially conscious evil, splashy words. 274 00:11:31,483 --> 00:11:34,486 But ultimately, you accomplish nothing. 275 00:11:34,569 --> 00:11:35,820 [laughs] 276 00:11:37,280 --> 00:11:39,407 Nobody pins Ivy in the corner. 277 00:11:40,575 --> 00:11:41,785 [grunts] 278 00:11:43,870 --> 00:11:45,497 -[all cheering] -[Harley yelps] 279 00:11:45,622 --> 00:11:46,790 [Poison Ivy grunts] 280 00:11:46,873 --> 00:11:48,833 I get better workouts digesting dairy. 281 00:11:48,958 --> 00:11:50,335 [Harley and Poison Ivy scream] 282 00:11:50,460 --> 00:11:52,170 [laughing] 283 00:11:53,672 --> 00:11:56,549 [all cheering and laughing] 284 00:11:56,675 --> 00:11:58,677 This is so embarrassing. 285 00:11:58,802 --> 00:12:00,762 I just feel like nobody... [sighs] 286 00:12:00,845 --> 00:12:02,639 Nobody takes me seriously. 287 00:12:02,722 --> 00:12:06,017 It... It's almost like you can't change the system from the inside. 288 00:12:06,142 --> 00:12:07,644 We both tried and look what happened. 289 00:12:07,727 --> 00:12:10,980 Wow, you really went through it with the plus-ones, huh? 290 00:12:11,064 --> 00:12:12,565 I actually meant the Bat family. 291 00:12:12,691 --> 00:12:13,858 Screw those narcs. 292 00:12:13,983 --> 00:12:15,860 I mean, you work so hard. 293 00:12:15,944 --> 00:12:19,698 I was basically the Bat family's hot stepmom no one trusted. 294 00:12:19,781 --> 00:12:21,157 Well, that's bullshit. 295 00:12:21,241 --> 00:12:22,701 And by the way, you'd be the hottest stepmom. 296 00:12:22,826 --> 00:12:25,495 Plus, you and I both know it's the kids you can't trust. 297 00:12:25,578 --> 00:12:28,123 I wonder if Princess Ladyfingers still exists, 298 00:12:28,206 --> 00:12:30,208 since, you know, we stopped the apocalypse, 299 00:12:30,291 --> 00:12:32,377 and, like, changed the whole course of history. 300 00:12:32,502 --> 00:12:33,920 We did do that, didn't we? 301 00:12:34,045 --> 00:12:34,963 You know what? Fuck it. 302 00:12:35,046 --> 00:12:36,798 We are so powerful. 303 00:12:36,881 --> 00:12:38,717 Even if none of these assholes can see it, 304 00:12:38,800 --> 00:12:40,301 we're gonna show them anyway. 305 00:12:40,385 --> 00:12:42,470 Oh, I miss seeing that destructive glimmer in your eye. 306 00:12:42,554 --> 00:12:43,722 [gasps] Let's do this! 307 00:12:43,847 --> 00:12:45,932 For our daughter, who may or may not exist 308 00:12:46,057 --> 00:12:47,475 and may or may not try to kill us. 309 00:12:47,559 --> 00:12:48,727 But wait, what are we doing? 310 00:12:48,852 --> 00:12:51,062 We're gonna make the world a better place. 311 00:12:51,187 --> 00:12:53,898 Now, let's go find that dumb ozone laser. 312 00:12:53,982 --> 00:12:55,775 [gasps and squeals] 313 00:12:55,900 --> 00:12:57,068 [moans] 314 00:12:58,820 --> 00:13:00,488 [funky instrumental music playing] 315 00:13:00,572 --> 00:13:01,948 [Jeffrey groans] 316 00:13:02,073 --> 00:13:04,534 -Gotcha, bitch. Gotcha, bitch. -[all cheering] 317 00:13:04,617 --> 00:13:05,452 [laughing] 318 00:13:05,577 --> 00:13:07,954 Jeffrey, you are a trip. 319 00:13:08,079 --> 00:13:10,123 It's funny 'cause I don't even eat cake. 320 00:13:10,248 --> 00:13:12,459 -Seriously, someone take this-- -[motor revving] 321 00:13:16,921 --> 00:13:18,089 [both grunt] 322 00:13:19,841 --> 00:13:22,010 Every woman in STEM knows 323 00:13:22,093 --> 00:13:24,095 that lasers have three functions. 324 00:13:24,179 --> 00:13:27,807 The task they're designed for, removing hair follicles, 325 00:13:27,932 --> 00:13:29,851 and blowing shit the fuck up. 326 00:13:29,934 --> 00:13:32,145 -And that's the function we'll be using. -[cell phone beeps] 327 00:13:32,270 --> 00:13:34,564 Ugh, God, Batgirl will be so great at this 328 00:13:34,647 --> 00:13:35,857 breaking into the laser thing. 329 00:13:35,940 --> 00:13:37,567 She loves codes and typing and shit. 330 00:13:37,650 --> 00:13:38,568 Too bad she's mad at me. 331 00:13:38,651 --> 00:13:40,028 -[yelps] -Shit. 332 00:13:40,111 --> 00:13:41,780 All right. Lex is following us. Call Batgirl. 333 00:13:41,863 --> 00:13:43,406 No, no, no. Listen. 334 00:13:43,490 --> 00:13:45,408 -She needs to focus on her recovery, okay? -[grunts] 335 00:13:45,492 --> 00:13:47,327 -Besides, I can't feed into this computer obsession. -[grunts] 336 00:13:47,452 --> 00:13:48,787 She might become one of those people 337 00:13:48,912 --> 00:13:50,538 who gets addicted to her online life, 338 00:13:50,622 --> 00:13:53,040 and then forgets to eat anything but salt and vinegar chips 339 00:13:53,124 --> 00:13:54,334 -and dies of scurvy. -[grunts] 340 00:13:56,461 --> 00:13:57,462 [engine revving] 341 00:14:01,341 --> 00:14:02,175 [grunts] 342 00:14:04,135 --> 00:14:05,637 [tires screeching] 343 00:14:05,762 --> 00:14:06,846 Fucking call her, Harls. 344 00:14:06,971 --> 00:14:08,807 -Fine. Ugh! -[grunts] 345 00:14:08,890 --> 00:14:10,225 -[cell phone buzzes] -[line connects] 346 00:14:10,308 --> 00:14:12,477 [on phone] It's me, Harley. Don't hang up. 347 00:14:12,560 --> 00:14:14,187 I'm sure you're busy eating powdered applesauce glaring at LeAnne, but-- 348 00:14:14,312 --> 00:14:16,147 Stop treating me like a victim. 349 00:14:16,272 --> 00:14:18,024 I get enough from my dad, my doctors, 350 00:14:18,149 --> 00:14:21,194 the old lady who comes in here and thinks I'm her dead husband. 351 00:14:21,319 --> 00:14:23,738 Uh... Didn't know you felt that way. But, uh, yeah. 352 00:14:23,822 --> 00:14:25,824 -I'm calling you for serious world saving help. -[grunts] 353 00:14:25,949 --> 00:14:27,283 Ivy's here. You're on speakerphone. 354 00:14:27,367 --> 00:14:29,160 -[cell phone squeaks] -Hi, Ivy. 355 00:14:29,244 --> 00:14:33,498 Hi. Um, so can you, like, hack into a moon buggy? 356 00:14:33,623 --> 00:14:35,500 Easy. Hit me with the model number. 357 00:14:36,584 --> 00:14:38,336 -[Poison Ivy grunts] -[Harley yelps] 358 00:14:38,461 --> 00:14:41,089 It's printed above the left bumper. 359 00:14:41,172 --> 00:14:42,507 [Poison Ivy] M as in motherfucker, 360 00:14:42,590 --> 00:14:43,675 B as in bitch, 361 00:14:43,800 --> 00:14:45,635 dash, 0, 5, 6, 7. 362 00:14:45,719 --> 00:14:48,346 [Harley] And, listen. Take it slow. If you can't do it-- 363 00:14:48,471 --> 00:14:49,347 I'm in. 364 00:14:51,266 --> 00:14:53,018 My buggy's busted. 365 00:14:53,101 --> 00:14:54,227 [Batgirl on intercom] The destination has been rerouted. 366 00:14:56,062 --> 00:14:58,773 [both cheer and laugh] 367 00:14:58,857 --> 00:14:59,899 [grunting] 368 00:15:00,942 --> 00:15:02,360 [screaming] 369 00:15:05,613 --> 00:15:07,365 [grunting] 370 00:15:09,284 --> 00:15:11,202 I demand to talk to whoever's in charge. 371 00:15:11,286 --> 00:15:12,537 Perhaps your male superior? 372 00:15:12,620 --> 00:15:16,332 This is a one-woman operation, asshole. 373 00:15:18,043 --> 00:15:19,711 Batgirl did it! We're in. 374 00:15:19,836 --> 00:15:21,629 What... What are you doing? 375 00:15:21,713 --> 00:15:25,008 [Poison Ivy] Mowing down tech, oil, and cosmetic pharmaceutical companies 376 00:15:25,091 --> 00:15:27,469 in the name of socially conscious evil. 377 00:15:27,552 --> 00:15:30,638 Oh, I love the plan, very emotionally cool, obvs, 378 00:15:30,722 --> 00:15:32,932 but maybe first, let's evacuate the buildings, huh? 379 00:15:33,058 --> 00:15:35,143 I mean, do we really have to, or... 380 00:15:35,226 --> 00:15:37,395 I just remotely pulled all the fire alarms in Gotham. 381 00:15:37,520 --> 00:15:39,397 Okay, now you're just showing off. 382 00:15:39,522 --> 00:15:42,025 Who we gonna blow up first, hot stuff? 383 00:15:42,108 --> 00:15:44,402 Let's rain fire on EWBC! 384 00:15:44,527 --> 00:15:45,570 [Harley squeals] 385 00:15:49,908 --> 00:15:52,827 Veronica Cale's company, boom! 386 00:15:52,911 --> 00:15:55,747 Talia's Wayne shit, boom! 387 00:15:55,830 --> 00:16:00,251 That overpriced oyster place that isn't even good, boom! 388 00:16:01,920 --> 00:16:03,171 What the zuck? 389 00:16:03,254 --> 00:16:04,464 [man mumbles inaudibly] 390 00:16:07,676 --> 00:16:08,968 What the fuck? 391 00:16:09,094 --> 00:16:11,262 [upbeat music playing] 392 00:16:11,346 --> 00:16:12,847 -[Batgirl on speaker] Evacuate the building immediately. -[capybara screeches] 393 00:16:12,931 --> 00:16:14,641 [Clayface] Drats! Bankrupt again. 394 00:16:14,766 --> 00:16:18,603 -Curse you, White Collar Wine. -[crowd clamoring] 395 00:16:22,148 --> 00:16:24,317 [dubstep music playing] 396 00:16:25,944 --> 00:16:28,780 The world needs Batman again. [snaps fingers] 397 00:16:31,282 --> 00:16:33,118 Do it. Call Judge Chase. 398 00:16:33,243 --> 00:16:36,788 Tell him his stepdaughter got an internship at WayneTone Records. 399 00:16:36,913 --> 00:16:39,749 [lawyer on phone] I'll have you out by lunch. 400 00:16:43,003 --> 00:16:44,921 I love when we're in sync like this. 401 00:16:45,005 --> 00:16:46,506 Yeah, like back in '53, 402 00:16:46,631 --> 00:16:49,718 when Dizzy Gillespie horned it up with Charles Mingus. 403 00:16:49,801 --> 00:16:52,762 Turn that thing off. You're gonna break the moon. 404 00:16:52,846 --> 00:16:54,180 [grunting] 405 00:16:54,305 --> 00:16:56,641 Yeah, and for my motherfucking encore, 406 00:16:56,766 --> 00:16:58,727 the Legion of Kaboom! 407 00:16:58,810 --> 00:17:00,020 What? Ivy, are you sure? 408 00:17:00,145 --> 00:17:01,855 What about everything you've built? 409 00:17:01,980 --> 00:17:03,857 I didn't build anything, Harls. 410 00:17:03,982 --> 00:17:06,734 I was just part of the problem. 411 00:17:13,116 --> 00:17:14,742 [crowd screaming] 412 00:17:14,826 --> 00:17:16,618 [Batgirl on speaker] Evacuate the building immediately. 413 00:17:18,829 --> 00:17:21,499 So do we work from home now? Or... 414 00:17:21,583 --> 00:17:22,666 Gotcha, bitch. 415 00:17:22,751 --> 00:17:24,502 Hey, this is kind of weird for me to say, 416 00:17:24,586 --> 00:17:27,589 but your occasional willingness to help people 417 00:17:27,672 --> 00:17:31,009 even while blowing the shit out of them is inspiring to me. 418 00:17:31,092 --> 00:17:33,970 Like, tote bag level-inspiring. 419 00:17:34,054 --> 00:17:35,513 Aw, thanks, Ive. 420 00:17:35,638 --> 00:17:37,182 But it's a real pain in the ass being in the middle. 421 00:17:37,265 --> 00:17:39,225 Baby, you're not in the middle. 422 00:17:39,351 --> 00:17:40,685 You're on the outside. 423 00:17:40,769 --> 00:17:42,645 And that's what I love about you. I mean, 424 00:17:42,729 --> 00:17:45,523 it's your... It's your superpower. 425 00:17:45,648 --> 00:17:46,566 [explosion] 426 00:17:50,236 --> 00:17:51,738 -[grunts] -[device charging] 427 00:17:52,489 --> 00:17:54,741 Steppenwolf! You came? 428 00:17:54,866 --> 00:17:56,326 No RSVP, no problem. 429 00:17:56,409 --> 00:17:58,161 The caterers planned for crashers. 430 00:17:59,329 --> 00:18:00,497 [Poison Ivy] Thanks, Steppy. 431 00:18:01,206 --> 00:18:02,749 No, wait! 432 00:18:02,874 --> 00:18:05,168 -I thought we were business bros. -[device beeps] 433 00:18:08,546 --> 00:18:09,839 We gotta get out of here. 434 00:18:12,842 --> 00:18:13,802 [Jeffrey screeches] 435 00:18:15,720 --> 00:18:19,224 -Oh, shit. Hold my leash. -[Joker grunts] 436 00:18:19,307 --> 00:18:20,809 What... What happened? You forget your purse? 437 00:18:25,522 --> 00:18:29,150 You gonna tell all the hoes in the Justice League a normie saved you? 438 00:18:29,234 --> 00:18:31,069 I always knew you were a hero. 439 00:18:31,194 --> 00:18:32,737 I'm better than a hero. 440 00:18:32,862 --> 00:18:34,698 I'm Harley fucking Quinn. 441 00:18:50,839 --> 00:18:53,633 I started a Fortune 500 company just to commit a crime 442 00:18:53,758 --> 00:18:55,760 worthy enough to land me in Blackgate. 443 00:18:55,885 --> 00:18:58,638 The food is good, but not that good. 444 00:18:58,722 --> 00:19:00,390 Oh. [chuckles] No. 445 00:19:00,473 --> 00:19:02,726 While I'm intrigued to dine at Dominique Crenn's commissary pop-up, 446 00:19:02,809 --> 00:19:05,645 -I actually did it all to be reunited with... [gasps] -[door beeps] 447 00:19:05,770 --> 00:19:07,105 Master Bruce. 448 00:19:07,230 --> 00:19:09,399 Hey, Alfred. Got my own ride. Thanks. 449 00:19:09,482 --> 00:19:11,776 -I'll see you at the Manor. -[reporters clamoring] 450 00:19:11,901 --> 00:19:12,902 [groans] 451 00:19:16,197 --> 00:19:19,743 Oh, shitstick. Did I forget my own birthday again? 452 00:19:19,826 --> 00:19:22,203 What? 453 00:19:22,287 --> 00:19:24,539 -You and me are gonna have some fun... -[Joker yelps] 454 00:19:24,622 --> 00:19:27,167 ...A24 horror movie style. 455 00:19:27,250 --> 00:19:28,668 My daughter turned me on to those films. 456 00:19:28,793 --> 00:19:30,545 I don't get them, but I do understand 457 00:19:30,628 --> 00:19:34,007 what jumper cables can do to a man's 'nads. 458 00:19:34,132 --> 00:19:36,092 Someone just shoot me already. 459 00:19:36,176 --> 00:19:39,971 Or at least take me to the printers to pick up my T-shirts. 460 00:19:40,055 --> 00:19:41,473 [heroic music playing] 461 00:19:47,145 --> 00:19:49,773 -[moon rumbling] -[rustling] 462 00:19:52,400 --> 00:19:53,860 God, longest pee ever. 463 00:19:53,985 --> 00:19:57,030 I just had to pay my respects to the GOAT. [exhales] 464 00:19:57,155 --> 00:20:00,200 Hey, so what's next for a couple of outsiders like us? 465 00:20:00,325 --> 00:20:01,368 I don't know. 466 00:20:01,493 --> 00:20:02,702 But, we're gonna do it together. 467 00:20:02,827 --> 00:20:03,787 Right, peanut? 468 00:20:03,870 --> 00:20:05,121 [both moaning] 469 00:20:05,205 --> 00:20:07,123 Wow, that is messed up. 470 00:20:07,207 --> 00:20:08,416 Oh, come on. 471 00:20:08,500 --> 00:20:10,043 My hands weren't even in her pants yet. 472 00:20:10,168 --> 00:20:13,129 I was talking about the moon. 473 00:20:13,213 --> 00:20:15,799 Thanks for your help up there, by the way. You did good. 474 00:20:15,882 --> 00:20:18,510 I wouldn't be here without you, you little nerd. 475 00:20:18,635 --> 00:20:21,054 Well, I'm glad you called me. 476 00:20:21,179 --> 00:20:24,182 It felt good to do something that matters with people I care about. 477 00:20:24,307 --> 00:20:28,186 Even if you did end up blowing up half of Gotham with a laser, you B. 478 00:20:28,269 --> 00:20:29,521 Fuck the rules. 479 00:20:29,604 --> 00:20:31,314 F the rules indeed, 480 00:20:31,398 --> 00:20:34,651 That's why I can't stay in the Bat family. 481 00:20:34,734 --> 00:20:35,694 I quit, too. 482 00:20:35,819 --> 00:20:37,070 Shit, yeah, dog! 483 00:20:37,195 --> 00:20:39,197 Wait. 484 00:20:39,280 --> 00:20:42,075 So is that why you called us out here to the cemetery in the middle of the night? 485 00:20:42,158 --> 00:20:43,868 I thought you guys invited me here. 486 00:20:43,952 --> 00:20:47,372 Mm, sorry for the late-night theatrics, ladies. 487 00:20:47,497 --> 00:20:51,418 Oh, wow. I mean, hey. [chuckles] It's you. 488 00:20:51,543 --> 00:20:55,005 There you are. Where you been, girl? 489 00:20:55,088 --> 00:20:56,297 [grunts and thuds] Yikes. 490 00:20:56,381 --> 00:20:58,174 I'm all right. I'm good. 491 00:20:58,258 --> 00:21:02,053 I... I am standing on a casket, which is, you know, not awesome. 492 00:21:02,137 --> 00:21:04,889 But I was just doing a little light grave robbing 493 00:21:05,015 --> 00:21:08,977 when I stumbled on some missing booty I thought my interest you. 494 00:21:09,060 --> 00:21:10,645 Someone dug up Nightwing. 495 00:21:10,729 --> 00:21:13,523 And they left the custom casket? 496 00:21:13,606 --> 00:21:14,983 [whispering] That was very expensive. 497 00:21:15,066 --> 00:21:18,570 Selina, I'm sorry. Are you looking out for us? 498 00:21:18,653 --> 00:21:21,906 Aren't you supposed to be on some art heist in Monaco? 499 00:21:22,032 --> 00:21:26,244 Maybe the call of the Gotham City sirens was just too seductive. 500 00:21:26,369 --> 00:21:27,746 Pinch my fucking nips! 501 00:21:27,871 --> 00:21:30,248 The Gotham City Sirens is a good nickname for us. 502 00:21:30,373 --> 00:21:33,877 Well, I... I don't know if it's, like, better than the Cobb squad, 503 00:21:33,960 --> 00:21:35,628 -but, yeah, you know... -[all mumbling and disagreeing] 504 00:21:35,754 --> 00:21:38,923 Um, what about the birds of prey? 505 00:21:39,007 --> 00:21:40,925 -No. -I'm not a bird, you know what I mean? 506 00:21:41,009 --> 00:21:42,218 -There's no flying, really. -None of us are even bird-themed. 507 00:21:42,302 --> 00:21:44,054 Well, that settles what's next. 508 00:21:44,137 --> 00:21:47,932 The Gotham City Sirens are gonna find out who stole Nightwing. 509 00:21:48,058 --> 00:21:50,226 I mean, we'll obviously take the weekend off. 510 00:21:50,310 --> 00:21:51,603 What's the worst thing that can happen? 511 00:21:51,686 --> 00:21:52,937 He's already dead. 512 00:21:53,063 --> 00:21:55,106 [Harley, Poison Ivy and Catwoman laugh] 513 00:21:55,190 --> 00:21:56,274 [Batgirl] It's not that funny. 514 00:21:56,399 --> 00:21:58,109 [bell dings] 515 00:21:58,234 --> 00:22:00,487 Now, Damian, don't be alarmed. 516 00:22:00,570 --> 00:22:03,490 Your friend will be a little different, but better. 517 00:22:03,615 --> 00:22:05,784 [Nightwing groans] 518 00:22:09,954 --> 00:22:13,166 Where the fuck is Harley Quinn? 519 00:22:13,291 --> 00:22:15,043 [Talia chuckles] 520 00:22:15,126 --> 00:22:17,128 [theme music playing]