1
00:00:03,590 --> 00:00:06,740
[theme music playing]
2
00:00:38,490 --> 00:00:39,660
-Ta-da!
-Oh.
3
00:00:39,720 --> 00:00:40,790
What is that?
4
00:00:40,860 --> 00:00:42,730
It's a vagina.
5
00:00:42,790 --> 00:00:46,830
Oh! A human vagina.
Oh, I see it now!
6
00:00:46,900 --> 00:00:49,770
Everyone always draws dicks.
That's sexist.
7
00:00:49,770 --> 00:00:51,700
I'm tryna to flip
the script, bitches.
8
00:00:51,770 --> 00:00:54,400
So beautiful. It reminds me
of my mother.
9
00:00:54,470 --> 00:00:56,170
Listen, Georgia O'Keeffe,
10
00:00:56,170 --> 00:00:58,780
if you hadn't made it
so detailed, we'd still have
some fuel left
11
00:00:58,840 --> 00:01:00,780
in that incredibly
powerful gun.
12
00:01:00,840 --> 00:01:02,550
I will not compromise
for my art.
13
00:01:02,610 --> 00:01:04,750
Okay, everyone
into the ice vagina.
14
00:01:04,810 --> 00:01:07,620
Let's go kill Mr. Freeze.
15
00:01:07,680 --> 00:01:11,550
[theme music playing]
16
00:01:11,620 --> 00:01:15,160
I've been dreaming
about getting revenge
on this freezer-burned dickhead
17
00:01:15,220 --> 00:01:17,830
ever since he froze me
in a block of ice for months!
18
00:01:17,890 --> 00:01:20,260
I'm thinkin' classic
"stick an apple in his mouth
19
00:01:20,330 --> 00:01:22,330
and roast him
like the pig he is."
20
00:01:22,400 --> 00:01:24,170
-[cell phones chimes]
-Whoa, oh-oh!
21
00:01:24,230 --> 00:01:26,500
-Take a gander at your
cellular telephone.
-What?
22
00:01:26,570 --> 00:01:29,240
Oh, my God! He finally did it
23
00:01:29,310 --> 00:01:30,840
and she finally said yes!
24
00:01:30,910 --> 00:01:32,280
-Huzzah!
-Third time's a charm.
25
00:01:32,280 --> 00:01:33,560
Eh, he could do better.
26
00:01:33,560 --> 00:01:36,480
Oh, I love weddings! Me and Ivy
have so much fun at weddings.
27
00:01:36,550 --> 00:01:38,310
We'll get so shit-faced,
we puke,
28
00:01:38,380 --> 00:01:39,880
make fun of
all the dumb couples,
29
00:01:39,880 --> 00:01:41,380
make the DJ play
"Since U Been Gone"
30
00:01:41,380 --> 00:01:43,460
until a dad tries to fight us.
31
00:01:43,460 --> 00:01:44,850
-[goon A] What do you
think you're doing?
-[goon B] Stop right there!
32
00:01:44,920 --> 00:01:46,790
-[goon C] Get out of here!
-Spread out.
33
00:01:46,790 --> 00:01:48,010
-[grunts]
-I got news for ya,
34
00:01:48,010 --> 00:01:51,360
this is Ivy's wedding
and she's the dumb couple.
You need to find a date.
35
00:01:51,430 --> 00:01:55,330
No way! After the
"I dos," it's basically free
time. She'll wanna hang out.
36
00:01:55,400 --> 00:01:59,740
For me, the question
is not who I will bring,
but who I will be! [chortles]
37
00:01:59,800 --> 00:02:02,740
I've been working
on a new character, Sandra.
38
00:02:02,740 --> 00:02:06,410
-She's single, by choice,
and down to clown!
-[goon grunts]
39
00:02:06,480 --> 00:02:09,480
I guess I'll bring
Tabitha of the Hammerhead Clan,
40
00:02:09,540 --> 00:02:11,820
I mean, I am betrothed to her.
41
00:02:11,880 --> 00:02:14,550
[goons screaming]
42
00:02:14,620 --> 00:02:16,250
Post-Joker Harley
43
00:02:16,320 --> 00:02:18,760
wants to hook up with
as many randos as she can.
44
00:02:18,760 --> 00:02:21,020
Ya bring someone to a wedding,
that means you're serious.
45
00:02:21,020 --> 00:02:22,360
Not if you bring a hooker.
46
00:02:22,420 --> 00:02:24,760
You are a vile,
pocket-sized man.
47
00:02:24,830 --> 00:02:27,260
I don't want anythin' serious
with anybody again.
48
00:02:27,330 --> 00:02:28,900
So, I'm going solo.
49
00:02:28,970 --> 00:02:31,530
The only thing I'm serious
about, is gettin' some strange
50
00:02:31,600 --> 00:02:35,770
from one or several members
of that 12-piece jazz band.
51
00:02:35,840 --> 00:02:36,970
Whoo!
52
00:02:39,680 --> 00:02:42,750
Oh, my God! It's Beyoncé!
53
00:02:42,810 --> 00:02:45,310
Oh, my God. It's Lady Gaga!
54
00:02:45,380 --> 00:02:46,850
Harley Quinn,
55
00:02:46,920 --> 00:02:49,920
I have been expecting you
and your insane clown...
56
00:02:49,920 --> 00:02:50,920
Group.
57
00:02:50,920 --> 00:02:51,920
Psycho.
58
00:02:51,990 --> 00:02:54,720
Ah! No! It's too cold!
59
00:02:54,790 --> 00:02:55,890
I've got brain freeze.
60
00:02:55,960 --> 00:02:57,990
I did tell you
to wear a jacket.
61
00:02:58,060 --> 00:03:01,600
It is unfortunate that the cold
displeases you so much,
62
00:03:01,660 --> 00:03:04,470
as the core temperatures
of your bodies are about to
63
00:03:04,530 --> 00:03:06,670
decrease precipitously.
64
00:03:06,670 --> 00:03:09,370
[whimpers in fear]
65
00:03:20,880 --> 00:03:22,550
[Kite Man] Oh, what a dick!
66
00:03:22,620 --> 00:03:24,550
Look what I just got
from my nemesis.
67
00:03:24,620 --> 00:03:27,420
[Poison Ivy] "Congrats
on the engagement.
Condiment King"?
68
00:03:27,490 --> 00:03:28,920
What an asshole, right?
69
00:03:28,990 --> 00:03:30,930
Yes, a dick and an asshole.
70
00:03:30,990 --> 00:03:32,830
Wait, why though?
Can you just remind me?
71
00:03:32,900 --> 00:03:34,600
Pff! Uh, where do I begin?
72
00:03:34,660 --> 00:03:37,630
No emojis to convey
the tone, and a period
73
00:03:37,700 --> 00:03:39,040
instead of
an exclamation point?
74
00:03:39,100 --> 00:03:41,000
He's being sarcastic.
75
00:03:41,070 --> 00:03:42,770
But what else should I expect
76
00:03:42,840 --> 00:03:43,970
from my nemesis?
77
00:03:44,040 --> 00:03:45,410
Chuck, are you okay?
78
00:03:45,480 --> 00:03:47,310
No! I'm freakin', Pam!
79
00:03:47,380 --> 00:03:48,810
We have to get
this wedding venue.
80
00:03:48,880 --> 00:03:50,850
Honey, don't put
so much pressure on yourself.
81
00:03:50,910 --> 00:03:52,680
We're just touring one venue,
right?
82
00:03:52,750 --> 00:03:55,720
Ah, no. It's not
just "one venue."
83
00:03:55,720 --> 00:03:57,490
It's the venue!
84
00:03:57,490 --> 00:03:59,490
And if we don't get it, the
whole wedding will be rui--
85
00:03:59,490 --> 00:04:00,720
Hey! Relax.
86
00:04:00,790 --> 00:04:03,460
Okay? All we need
is a dance floor, booze,
87
00:04:03,530 --> 00:04:06,130
and Kelly Clarkson's greatest
hit. We could do it anywhere.
88
00:04:06,130 --> 00:04:08,900
I have been dreaming
of getting married
89
00:04:08,970 --> 00:04:10,620
at the old Gotham corn factory
90
00:04:10,620 --> 00:04:13,370
ever since I saw Melanie
and Clint Howard's nuptials
91
00:04:13,370 --> 00:04:14,700
in Obscure Celebrity
Weddings Yearly.
92
00:04:14,700 --> 00:04:16,340
That photo spread
93
00:04:16,340 --> 00:04:17,870
was like a series of
sick Renaissance paintings,
94
00:04:17,870 --> 00:04:19,680
but way sicker.
That could be us!
95
00:04:19,740 --> 00:04:21,640
So, yeah, I'm a little on edge.
96
00:04:21,710 --> 00:04:23,450
Well, then what
are we waiting for, hon?
97
00:04:23,510 --> 00:04:25,580
-Let's go get that venue.
-Hell yeah!
98
00:04:25,650 --> 00:04:28,320
All we have to do
is impress the venue manager
99
00:04:28,380 --> 00:04:31,790
with our super dope love,
and it is in the bag.
100
00:04:31,790 --> 00:04:33,490
Hey, uh, does this tie
go with this kite?
101
00:04:33,560 --> 00:04:35,390
Okay, no tie goes with a kite.
102
00:04:35,390 --> 00:04:37,360
But you do look
really handsome.
103
00:04:39,400 --> 00:04:41,400
I will now unfreeze you.
104
00:04:41,460 --> 00:04:43,530
Please, do not act
as petulant babies,
105
00:04:43,530 --> 00:04:45,400
for I have no intention
of killing you.
106
00:04:46,000 --> 00:04:48,000
Holy shit!
107
00:04:48,070 --> 00:04:53,010
What are you gonna do to us,
you frigid...
[stuttering] Fuck?
108
00:04:53,080 --> 00:04:55,650
Cursing. Hmph.
The crutch of the illiterate.
109
00:04:55,710 --> 00:04:57,350
People call me a murderer,
110
00:04:57,350 --> 00:04:58,770
but that is a misnomer.
111
00:04:58,770 --> 00:05:02,350
You see, I created this lab
for the sole purpose of finding
112
00:05:02,420 --> 00:05:06,660
a cure for my wife's
incredibly rare blood disease.
113
00:05:06,720 --> 00:05:09,030
It's terminal. Which is sad,
114
00:05:09,090 --> 00:05:10,560
right?
115
00:05:10,630 --> 00:05:12,960
-And yet, there is hope.
-[squeaking]
116
00:05:13,030 --> 00:05:16,600
I have been performing
a multitude of experiments
on the common snow rat,
117
00:05:16,670 --> 00:05:20,570
which shares 98% of its DNA
with that of a human.
118
00:05:20,640 --> 00:05:23,410
The experiments
have been a rousing success.
119
00:05:25,080 --> 00:05:26,940
-Ah!
-He's lost his shit!
120
00:05:27,010 --> 00:05:29,540
This is a real shampoo factory.
121
00:05:30,710 --> 00:05:31,750
[squeaking]
122
00:05:33,150 --> 00:05:34,720
[gasps]
123
00:05:34,720 --> 00:05:36,850
Your arrival has
proved fortuitous,
124
00:05:36,850 --> 00:05:42,660
as it coincides with
my decision to move on
to human experimentation.
125
00:05:42,660 --> 00:05:43,790
[all exclaim]
126
00:05:43,860 --> 00:05:45,990
[squeaking]
127
00:05:46,060 --> 00:05:48,430
You know, speakin'
doctor to mister,
128
00:05:48,500 --> 00:05:49,830
maybe ya wanna
get it right once
129
00:05:49,900 --> 00:05:52,400
with a snow rat before ya move
onto humans?
130
00:05:52,470 --> 00:05:55,000
No. I'm 98% sure
131
00:05:55,070 --> 00:05:58,540
that the 2% difference
in DNA is the issue.
132
00:05:58,610 --> 00:06:00,640
And now that
I have you, Harley,
133
00:06:00,710 --> 00:06:03,020
I can put that theory
to the test.
134
00:06:03,020 --> 00:06:05,480
Maybe we pull straws
to see who goes first?
135
00:06:05,550 --> 00:06:07,020
He is a man shark,
136
00:06:07,080 --> 00:06:08,950
he is like an aged little boy,
137
00:06:09,020 --> 00:06:11,150
and, hmm... A dirt man?
138
00:06:11,150 --> 00:06:13,920
Yeah. Thus, you,
being not only a human,
139
00:06:13,920 --> 00:06:16,130
but also a human woman, are the
140
00:06:16,130 --> 00:06:17,130
-ideal subject.
-Hey!
141
00:06:19,460 --> 00:06:20,900
[grunts]
142
00:06:22,970 --> 00:06:24,100
[goon screams]
143
00:06:25,670 --> 00:06:30,570
[grunts]
144
00:06:30,570 --> 00:06:31,570
[Harley] Ah!
145
00:06:32,810 --> 00:06:34,580
Fuck, again?
146
00:06:34,640 --> 00:06:37,510
I do not know how much
this will hurt, due to the fact
147
00:06:37,580 --> 00:06:41,780
that complete loss
of bodily functions can mean
any number of things.
148
00:06:41,850 --> 00:06:44,520
But, were I to venture a guess,
149
00:06:44,590 --> 00:06:47,060
I'd say that it will...
sting a little.
150
00:06:50,230 --> 00:06:52,460
Wait! I know how
we can save your wife!
151
00:06:52,530 --> 00:06:55,600
You're only saying
you'll save her life
to save your own.
152
00:06:55,670 --> 00:06:58,200
So what, you don't want me
savin' your wife's life?
Okay, I won't.
153
00:06:58,270 --> 00:07:01,470
Hey, relax, relax. Let's not
jump to conclusions.
154
00:07:01,540 --> 00:07:02,800
This is a negotiation.
155
00:07:02,870 --> 00:07:05,080
How do you propose
to perform this miracle?
156
00:07:05,140 --> 00:07:07,940
My friend's a doctor
and the smartest person I know.
157
00:07:07,940 --> 00:07:10,950
Wow! That's the nicest thing
you've ever said about me.
158
00:07:11,010 --> 00:07:12,480
Not you, idiot. Ivy.
159
00:07:12,550 --> 00:07:13,850
Yeah, that makes sense.
160
00:07:13,850 --> 00:07:15,480
Look, freeze, Ivy's
a genius biochemist.
161
00:07:15,550 --> 00:07:16,820
If she can't find a cure,
162
00:07:16,820 --> 00:07:17,850
there isn't one.
163
00:07:17,920 --> 00:07:19,890
Why would Dr. Isley help me?
164
00:07:19,960 --> 00:07:21,920
She wouldn't,
but she'll help me.
165
00:07:21,920 --> 00:07:23,560
Now, let me
out of these restraints,
166
00:07:23,560 --> 00:07:24,890
I'll shoot her a quick text
167
00:07:24,960 --> 00:07:26,960
and she'll come fix your
wife up lickety-split.
168
00:07:26,960 --> 00:07:28,860
This is an
agreeable proposition.
169
00:07:28,930 --> 00:07:31,730
There is only one thing
we can do while we wait...
170
00:07:31,800 --> 00:07:33,540
[dramatic music]
171
00:07:33,600 --> 00:07:34,970
Lunch!
172
00:07:35,040 --> 00:07:36,740
I will go make preparations.
173
00:07:36,810 --> 00:07:39,910
Any food allergies or phobias
I should be aware of?
174
00:07:39,980 --> 00:07:41,680
No? Ha! Wonderful.
175
00:07:44,710 --> 00:07:47,550
[Harley grunts]
176
00:07:47,550 --> 00:07:49,520
Harley, look, I don't want
to question your plan,
177
00:07:49,520 --> 00:07:51,990
but do you really think
Ivy can find a cure?
178
00:07:52,050 --> 00:07:54,920
I mean, Freeze will for sure
kill us if she doesn't.
179
00:07:54,920 --> 00:07:56,160
So we're just breezing past
the whole,
180
00:07:56,160 --> 00:07:58,130
"he's preparing
us lunch" thing?
181
00:07:58,130 --> 00:08:00,260
No idea, but I'm
not bringin' her here
and puttin' her in danger.
182
00:08:00,330 --> 00:08:02,040
I'm buyin' us time.
183
00:08:02,040 --> 00:08:04,870
This weirdo is all
gross and obsessed
with his dumb, dying wife.
184
00:08:04,870 --> 00:08:06,620
Some might call that "love"?
185
00:08:06,620 --> 00:08:08,940
Whatever. If we take her
hostage and threaten
to kill her,
186
00:08:09,000 --> 00:08:11,740
we can get him to give us
his freeze ray. And then,
187
00:08:11,740 --> 00:08:15,880
we can freeze his ass
in a block of ice!
188
00:08:15,940 --> 00:08:18,750
Wow. Great plan.
This is one of your best.
189
00:08:18,810 --> 00:08:20,230
I got one question though.
190
00:08:20,230 --> 00:08:24,790
How the hell are we
supposed to find his wife,
when we're frozen to chairs?
191
00:08:24,850 --> 00:08:26,820
Could someone pass
the mac and cheese?
192
00:08:26,890 --> 00:08:28,120
Oh, my God.
193
00:08:28,190 --> 00:08:30,630
What? If I'm going to
pull off the plan,
194
00:08:30,690 --> 00:08:33,100
I need sustenance.
195
00:08:33,160 --> 00:08:35,560
The reason I wanted
to do this lunch is,
196
00:08:35,630 --> 00:08:37,030
Nora hasn't hosted guests
197
00:08:37,100 --> 00:08:39,270
in quite some time.
So I thought,
198
00:08:39,340 --> 00:08:41,670
this will be fun for her.
199
00:08:41,740 --> 00:08:43,570
Her options are limited.
200
00:08:43,640 --> 00:08:46,780
Jesus, that blue perv
gets his jollies
by freezin' women.
201
00:08:46,840 --> 00:08:51,610
Everyone, let us begin
consumption of the bounty
I have prepared.
202
00:08:51,680 --> 00:08:54,320
Okay, change of plans.
As a former ice-block victim
203
00:08:54,380 --> 00:08:57,620
and now champion
of ice-blocked women
all over the world,
204
00:08:57,690 --> 00:08:59,820
I decided we're gonna
save his wife first,
205
00:08:59,890 --> 00:09:01,220
then kill him.
206
00:09:01,290 --> 00:09:03,160
[Kite Man] Four minutes
early, perfect.
207
00:09:03,230 --> 00:09:04,660
Eager, but not desperate.
208
00:09:04,730 --> 00:09:07,160
That's late in my book, bro.
209
00:09:07,230 --> 00:09:09,630
Mitchell, what the hell
are you doing here?
210
00:09:09,700 --> 00:09:11,630
Oh. Didn't you hear?
211
00:09:11,700 --> 00:09:13,640
-You're not the only
world-famous villain...
-[Ivy scoffs]
212
00:09:13,700 --> 00:09:14,900
...engaged in this town.
213
00:09:14,970 --> 00:09:17,310
I'm sorry, "world-famous"?
Come on.
214
00:09:17,370 --> 00:09:21,140
Wedding venues are tough to
come by in new New Gotham.
215
00:09:21,210 --> 00:09:23,950
And there's only
one unbooked weekend left.
216
00:09:24,010 --> 00:09:26,180
So, it looks like
you've got some competish
217
00:09:26,250 --> 00:09:28,890
from the Condiment King.
218
00:09:28,950 --> 00:09:30,830
[laughs]
219
00:09:30,830 --> 00:09:33,390
I'm not getting married
in any place with the stink
of condiments.
220
00:09:33,390 --> 00:09:36,290
And I'm not getting married
anywhere that reeks of kite!
221
00:09:36,360 --> 00:09:38,790
Oh, yeah. Kites are odorless.
222
00:09:38,860 --> 00:09:42,930
Unless, uh... They do get wet
or if you store them
improperly, I--
223
00:09:42,930 --> 00:09:44,930
Chuck, we can do this wherever.
224
00:09:45,000 --> 00:09:47,270
I will not yield!
225
00:09:47,340 --> 00:09:50,640
Once the manager sees
the biggest power couple
in Gotham is in his presence,
226
00:09:50,710 --> 00:09:52,040
and how sick our love is,
227
00:09:52,110 --> 00:09:53,710
he'll kick your
ranch-loving ass
228
00:09:53,710 --> 00:09:55,410
all the way back
to the Hidden Valley.
229
00:09:55,480 --> 00:09:58,420
Gonna be tough to impress him
with that stain on your suit.
230
00:09:58,480 --> 00:10:00,820
[stammering] What stain?
There's no stain!
231
00:10:00,880 --> 00:10:01,950
Ah!
232
00:10:01,950 --> 00:10:02,950
That one.
233
00:10:03,020 --> 00:10:04,720
[laughs]
234
00:10:04,790 --> 00:10:07,960
All right, Condiment King,
Becca, you got here first,
235
00:10:08,020 --> 00:10:09,960
so let me take you on the tour.
236
00:10:10,030 --> 00:10:11,860
For the schmutz on your suit.
237
00:10:14,730 --> 00:10:17,300
[classical music playing]
238
00:10:17,330 --> 00:10:18,330
[Mr. Freeze] Mmm...
239
00:10:18,330 --> 00:10:19,330
[slurps]
240
00:10:19,370 --> 00:10:20,720
[chuckles]
241
00:10:20,720 --> 00:10:22,740
Why's he doing that?
What's wrong with your face?
242
00:10:22,740 --> 00:10:24,910
Small man, as the consumption
of cooked meats
243
00:10:24,910 --> 00:10:28,780
increases my body temperature
and puts me at risk of death,
244
00:10:28,840 --> 00:10:33,180
please, a little favor.
Describe the mouthfeel
of your steak.
245
00:10:33,250 --> 00:10:36,290
Um...
246
00:10:36,350 --> 00:10:37,350
Butter-like?
247
00:10:37,390 --> 00:10:40,120
Mmm, like butter. Yes.
248
00:10:40,190 --> 00:10:43,060
All right, this is some weird
Silence of the Lambs shit.
249
00:10:43,130 --> 00:10:46,060
Ah! I see you
found your appetite,
250
00:10:46,130 --> 00:10:49,880
my eager little snow rat.
251
00:10:51,900 --> 00:10:54,270
So, how'd y'all meet?
252
00:10:54,340 --> 00:10:56,270
Was she alive then?
253
00:10:56,340 --> 00:10:59,810
It's a funny story. Nora, you
tell it better than I do.
254
00:11:02,010 --> 00:11:04,110
Oh, she's being shy. [chuckles]
255
00:11:04,180 --> 00:11:05,310
I'll tell it.
256
00:11:05,310 --> 00:11:08,350
Nora was the owner of
a mom-and-pop cryogenics lab,
257
00:11:08,350 --> 00:11:10,390
and I was determined
to squash it.
258
00:11:10,450 --> 00:11:13,920
You see, as the CEO
of a multinational corporation,
259
00:11:13,920 --> 00:11:15,790
I had a duty
to my shareholders.
260
00:11:15,860 --> 00:11:17,290
Expand or die.
261
00:11:17,360 --> 00:11:19,500
Now, seemingly unrelated,
262
00:11:19,500 --> 00:11:23,300
I had really hit it off with an
enchanting stranger online.
263
00:11:23,370 --> 00:11:25,500
You'll never guess who it was.
264
00:11:25,570 --> 00:11:26,900
-Your wife.
-Meg Ryan?
265
00:11:26,970 --> 00:11:28,200
-Nora.
-Yeah. Like I said,
266
00:11:28,270 --> 00:11:29,270
she tells it better.
267
00:11:29,340 --> 00:11:31,240
[chuckles] Huzzah!
268
00:11:31,310 --> 00:11:33,410
A meet-cute for the ages.
269
00:11:33,480 --> 00:11:36,080
All I hear is a story
of a big swinging dick
270
00:11:36,080 --> 00:11:38,010
coming in and ruining
a woman's livelihood.
271
00:11:38,080 --> 00:11:39,420
Oh, you grinch.
272
00:11:39,480 --> 00:11:41,850
Look, you'll have to
excuse my friend here.
273
00:11:41,920 --> 00:11:44,220
She's all sour
on love right now.
274
00:11:44,220 --> 00:11:47,060
Yeah, she's not even
taking a date to
her best friend's wedding.
275
00:11:47,120 --> 00:11:49,090
Ooh, is there turmeric in this?
276
00:11:49,160 --> 00:11:51,220
That is a swift kick, nice.
277
00:11:51,220 --> 00:11:54,830
I suspect your cynicism
comes from never having
experienced true love.
278
00:11:54,830 --> 00:11:56,400
Oh, yeah, this is
definitely turmeric.
279
00:11:56,400 --> 00:11:59,300
I'll tell you about true love,
you fuckin' bitch!
280
00:11:59,370 --> 00:12:03,020
True love made me sacrifice
my career as a psychologist,
281
00:12:03,070 --> 00:12:04,870
permanently change
the way I look,
282
00:12:04,940 --> 00:12:08,180
and almost got me killed,
like, so many times.
283
00:12:08,240 --> 00:12:10,450
Love is bullshit!
284
00:12:10,510 --> 00:12:14,880
[dramatic music playing]
285
00:12:14,950 --> 00:12:17,180
-[oven dings]
-Oh, spinach puffs.
286
00:12:21,190 --> 00:12:23,260
I will never forgive Joker
287
00:12:23,260 --> 00:12:25,560
for the damage he's done
to your heart.
288
00:12:25,630 --> 00:12:27,600
Making you give up on love
289
00:12:27,600 --> 00:12:30,330
was perhaps his greatest
crime of all.
290
00:12:30,400 --> 00:12:32,930
I'm also willing to bet
that your outburst
291
00:12:33,000 --> 00:12:34,970
nearly cost us spinach puffs.
292
00:12:35,040 --> 00:12:37,070
Who cares about the puffs?
293
00:12:37,140 --> 00:12:39,340
We're imprisoned by the person
we came here to kill!
294
00:12:39,410 --> 00:12:40,810
We need to get that gun.
295
00:12:40,880 --> 00:12:42,810
I'm just eating my feelings.
296
00:12:42,880 --> 00:12:46,250
His story was so moving.
[chuckling and chewing]
297
00:12:46,320 --> 00:12:47,580
Problem solved.
298
00:12:47,650 --> 00:12:50,120
Not entirely. The steak
is under-seasoned,
299
00:12:50,190 --> 00:12:53,320
and there doesn't seem to be
a grain of salt on the table.
300
00:12:53,390 --> 00:12:55,290
God! Your stupidity
is astounding.
301
00:12:55,360 --> 00:12:57,890
Clayface, grab the gun,
de-ice us, then give me
the gun.
302
00:12:57,960 --> 00:13:00,460
-Great plan, boss!
-Unbelievable.
303
00:13:00,530 --> 00:13:03,500
Do me first. I'm so cold,
my nuts are the size
of Dippin' Dots!
304
00:13:03,570 --> 00:13:05,100
Is that unusual for you?
305
00:13:05,170 --> 00:13:06,370
What? No!
306
00:13:06,440 --> 00:13:08,000
I have regular-sized--
307
00:13:08,610 --> 00:13:09,950
Whoopsies!
308
00:13:09,950 --> 00:13:12,610
I think I speak for me and
Harley, when I say, thank you.
309
00:13:12,680 --> 00:13:15,180
Let me find this.
Ah, there we are.
310
00:13:15,240 --> 00:13:16,450
...testes!
311
00:13:16,510 --> 00:13:18,180
Sure, they're store-bought,
but you--
312
00:13:18,250 --> 00:13:21,920
Listen up, you crazy asshole.
313
00:13:21,980 --> 00:13:23,920
I'm not buyin'
your bullshit story!
314
00:13:23,990 --> 00:13:25,320
I know your wife ain't sick.
315
00:13:25,390 --> 00:13:27,060
She probably
tried to leave you,
316
00:13:27,060 --> 00:13:29,130
and you couldn't handle it,
so you fuckin' froze her.
317
00:13:29,130 --> 00:13:30,330
What are you doing?
318
00:13:30,330 --> 00:13:32,030
Giving her the freedom
you denied.
319
00:13:32,090 --> 00:13:34,600
You're just like my ex,
you creepy control freak.
320
00:13:34,660 --> 00:13:37,200
Nora's not your
property anymore!
321
00:13:37,200 --> 00:13:38,570
Harley, you don't know
what you're doing!
322
00:13:38,570 --> 00:13:41,070
This is for ruining
her small business.
323
00:13:41,140 --> 00:13:43,070
Ahhh!
324
00:13:43,070 --> 00:13:44,670
Now that you don't have
your stupid gun,
325
00:13:44,670 --> 00:13:46,210
I'm gonna kill you.
326
00:13:46,280 --> 00:13:47,610
[Nora coughing]
327
00:13:47,610 --> 00:13:50,150
See? I told ya she was fine,
ya piece of shit!
328
00:13:50,210 --> 00:13:52,920
My love, that I
gaze upon your face
329
00:13:52,980 --> 00:13:54,350
can only mean one thing.
330
00:13:54,420 --> 00:13:56,020
You've found a cure!
331
00:13:56,080 --> 00:13:57,320
I'm not going to die
332
00:13:57,390 --> 00:13:58,420
of this incredibly rare
333
00:13:58,490 --> 00:13:59,960
blood disease anymore,
334
00:13:59,960 --> 00:14:00,960
and we can spend the rest
335
00:14:01,020 --> 00:14:02,260
of our lives together.
336
00:14:02,320 --> 00:14:04,490
[gasps, sighs]
337
00:14:04,560 --> 00:14:05,560
I'm sorry, what was that?
338
00:14:05,630 --> 00:14:07,560
You've condemned her to death.
339
00:14:07,630 --> 00:14:09,730
You better hope your friend Ivy
can find a cure,
340
00:14:09,730 --> 00:14:11,900
or I'm going to blow this
entire place up
341
00:14:11,970 --> 00:14:13,800
and kill us all.
342
00:14:21,080 --> 00:14:24,110
Right. Let me check on her ETA.
343
00:14:24,180 --> 00:14:27,480
Wait. You're telling me
aioli is just mayo mixed
with something else?
344
00:14:27,550 --> 00:14:30,120
Little bit of an
industry secret. [chuckles]
345
00:14:30,190 --> 00:14:32,620
-It goes great on corn.
-Get outta town!
346
00:14:32,620 --> 00:14:34,420
No, don't get outta town,
you got a wedding.
347
00:14:34,420 --> 00:14:35,490
[gasps] Oh, hi!
348
00:14:35,560 --> 00:14:38,560
I thought I smelled a kite.
349
00:14:38,630 --> 00:14:40,030
[laughs]
350
00:14:40,100 --> 00:14:41,930
Oh, jeez. Oh, jeez!
351
00:14:42,000 --> 00:14:44,030
Look at those two,
thick as thieves.
352
00:14:44,100 --> 00:14:45,570
Dreams are stupid.
353
00:14:45,570 --> 00:14:47,170
Never gonna get this place.
We should just leave.
354
00:14:47,170 --> 00:14:49,020
Hey! Hey! Up here.
355
00:14:49,040 --> 00:14:51,140
Okay? Fuck that guy,
he's a dick.
356
00:14:51,210 --> 00:14:53,580
I know how important this is to
you, okay, so I'm prepared.
357
00:14:53,640 --> 00:14:54,650
We're gonna go in there,
358
00:14:54,650 --> 00:14:57,250
we're gonna blow that manager's
goddamn socks off.
359
00:14:57,310 --> 00:14:59,380
-[Stew] And this is,
of course...
-[Kite Man] The staircase,
360
00:14:59,450 --> 00:15:01,480
made famous by
Mr. And Mrs. Clint Howard.
361
00:15:01,550 --> 00:15:03,050
It was the cover shot.
362
00:15:03,120 --> 00:15:05,290
Ah, ooph! I've got goose bumps.
363
00:15:05,360 --> 00:15:06,720
Do you think this place
364
00:15:06,720 --> 00:15:08,590
is just a wedding mill
for Hollywood royalty?
365
00:15:08,590 --> 00:15:10,090
Oh, no. Of course not.
366
00:15:10,090 --> 00:15:11,560
I mean, the old
Gotham corn factory
367
00:15:11,630 --> 00:15:13,400
is just so rich with history.
368
00:15:13,400 --> 00:15:15,130
You know, I think that's what
we really connect with.
369
00:15:15,130 --> 00:15:17,500
Oh, really? What exactly
do you know
370
00:15:17,570 --> 00:15:19,540
-about this place?
-[cell phone rings]
371
00:15:19,600 --> 00:15:22,170
Ah! It's Harley,
and she never calls...
372
00:15:22,170 --> 00:15:24,610
eleven times,
unless it's an emergency.
373
00:15:24,670 --> 00:15:28,140
[sighing] Ha! Uh, corn...
374
00:15:28,210 --> 00:15:31,010
Um, the maize... Yeah, venue...
375
00:15:31,080 --> 00:15:35,280
Ah, fiancée... The love...
Um, well, uh,
376
00:15:35,350 --> 00:15:37,620
you know, Per--
I'm a husk guy.
377
00:15:37,690 --> 00:15:39,980
-So, uh--
-Babe, I'm so sorry,
378
00:15:39,980 --> 00:15:42,460
Harley's gotten herself
into some serious trouble,
and I have to go save her.
379
00:15:42,460 --> 00:15:43,790
I'm sorry. I love you.
I love you! [blows kiss]
380
00:15:43,790 --> 00:15:45,560
So you were about to
enlighten me
381
00:15:45,630 --> 00:15:48,300
on your personal
connection to corn?
382
00:15:48,360 --> 00:15:50,170
Uh...
383
00:15:50,230 --> 00:15:51,630
Um...
384
00:15:51,700 --> 00:15:52,700
Uh...
385
00:15:58,470 --> 00:16:00,540
Did I misread
the situation? Yes.
386
00:16:00,610 --> 00:16:03,310
But Ive, if you'd
seen him feed her soup,
you'da done the same.
387
00:16:03,380 --> 00:16:05,350
They'll find a cure, my love.
388
00:16:05,420 --> 00:16:08,790
But if they don't,
we will die together.
389
00:16:08,850 --> 00:16:11,390
Because I'm blowing
the whole place up!
390
00:16:11,450 --> 00:16:13,160
No, you are not!
391
00:16:13,160 --> 00:16:15,260
Hey, would it speed things up
if I got ya a microscope
for the other eye?
392
00:16:15,320 --> 00:16:17,330
Yeah, no. But BTdubs,
393
00:16:17,330 --> 00:16:19,260
thanks so much for getting me
involved in this.
394
00:16:19,330 --> 00:16:21,460
I actively tried not to put ya
in the situation.
395
00:16:21,530 --> 00:16:23,040
And then what happened?
396
00:16:23,040 --> 00:16:24,830
-Well then, I...
I fucked up the situation.
-There it is.
397
00:16:24,830 --> 00:16:26,700
I didn't know what else to do!
398
00:16:26,700 --> 00:16:28,800
Other than call the smartest,
coolest, hottest person I know.
399
00:16:28,800 --> 00:16:29,810
Well, that is true.
400
00:16:29,810 --> 00:16:31,610
Look, Freeze is crazy!
401
00:16:31,670 --> 00:16:34,240
He orchestrated the whole
Injustice League hit on me.
402
00:16:34,240 --> 00:16:35,280
How absurd.
403
00:16:35,280 --> 00:16:37,250
I woke up in a block of ice.
404
00:16:37,310 --> 00:16:39,780
That's your signature move!
You tried to kill me!
405
00:16:39,850 --> 00:16:42,400
Everyone else
wanted to kill you,
406
00:16:42,400 --> 00:16:44,390
but I convinced them
to freeze you.
407
00:16:44,450 --> 00:16:46,160
As you can imagine,
408
00:16:46,160 --> 00:16:47,560
a group of white,
409
00:16:47,560 --> 00:16:50,190
cis-gendered, heterosexual,
male, crime lords,
410
00:16:50,260 --> 00:16:52,190
they loved the idea
of turning a woman
411
00:16:52,260 --> 00:16:54,400
into a helpless
object of mockery.
412
00:16:54,460 --> 00:16:57,670
-Oh.
-Well, I hope
you're proud of yourself.
413
00:16:57,730 --> 00:17:01,140
You've falsely accused the most
woke ice-themed villain
414
00:17:01,140 --> 00:17:03,540
in all of new New Gotham.
415
00:17:03,540 --> 00:17:06,580
Okay, this is crazy,
but I think I might
have our answer.
416
00:17:06,640 --> 00:17:10,380
Uh...
417
00:17:10,380 --> 00:17:12,150
-[cell phone rings, buzzes]
-Oh, thank God.
418
00:17:12,220 --> 00:17:14,650
I... I gotta take this.
Sup, babe-arino?
419
00:17:14,720 --> 00:17:17,420
Ah, yeah... Oh. Your
old greenhouse? Yeah...
420
00:17:17,420 --> 00:17:18,760
Hey, remember
when we were there
421
00:17:18,820 --> 00:17:20,490
and I had a couple
too many margs,
422
00:17:20,490 --> 00:17:22,690
and next thing you know...
Oh... Oh, it is urgent?
423
00:17:22,760 --> 00:17:24,430
Anything for you.
424
00:17:24,490 --> 00:17:26,830
My betrothed needs
the K-man ASAP.
425
00:17:26,900 --> 00:17:28,530
If you leave right now,
426
00:17:28,530 --> 00:17:30,630
this is definitely going to
affect my decision.
427
00:17:30,630 --> 00:17:32,670
Positively? Because you'll see
428
00:17:32,740 --> 00:17:35,840
how much I love my fiancée
and will do anything for her,
429
00:17:35,910 --> 00:17:37,310
which is far more important
430
00:17:37,370 --> 00:17:39,310
than any corn connection
we might have?
431
00:17:39,370 --> 00:17:41,540
-Absolutely not.
-Well...
432
00:17:41,610 --> 00:17:43,910
The things we do
for love, right?
433
00:17:47,520 --> 00:17:48,520
[sighs]
434
00:17:48,520 --> 00:17:50,290
I wouldn't know.
435
00:17:50,290 --> 00:17:51,890
Just to double-check, what
color petals am I looking for?
436
00:17:51,890 --> 00:17:52,890
[Poison Ivy] Magenta.
437
00:17:52,890 --> 00:17:54,690
[Kite Man] Right, right.
438
00:17:54,690 --> 00:17:55,890
That... That's like
a reddish pink?
439
00:17:55,890 --> 00:17:57,690
No, no. It's a purplish pink.
440
00:17:57,760 --> 00:18:00,300
Don't touch the reddish pink
ones, they're paralytic, okay?
441
00:18:00,360 --> 00:18:02,900
Cool. And, uh, ballpark,
442
00:18:02,970 --> 00:18:05,130
uh, how long does
that take to kick in--
443
00:18:05,200 --> 00:18:06,470
[stammers] You know what?
444
00:18:06,540 --> 00:18:08,200
Doesn't matter,
445
00:18:08,270 --> 00:18:10,910
'cause I definitely didn't
touch the reddish pink one.
446
00:18:10,970 --> 00:18:12,340
There in a few.
447
00:18:13,210 --> 00:18:14,410
Oh, boy!
448
00:18:33,560 --> 00:18:36,300
Ah! [groaning]
449
00:18:36,360 --> 00:18:37,360
[grunts]
450
00:18:39,270 --> 00:18:40,870
[groaning]
451
00:18:40,940 --> 00:18:42,510
I touched the reddish pink one.
452
00:18:42,570 --> 00:18:43,870
Uh, yeah, I see that.
453
00:18:43,940 --> 00:18:45,440
Don't worry, it's...
It's gonna wear off.
454
00:18:46,910 --> 00:18:48,680
Okay, looks good.
455
00:18:50,210 --> 00:18:52,680
Okay, so Nora needs
a blood transfusion,
456
00:18:52,750 --> 00:18:54,250
but unfortunately,
her blood type
457
00:18:54,250 --> 00:18:55,580
is as rare as
her blood disease.
458
00:18:55,580 --> 00:18:57,690
Ever my unique butterfly.
459
00:18:57,750 --> 00:19:00,560
Once you inject this serum,
it will change your blood type
to Nora's.
460
00:19:00,560 --> 00:19:03,330
And then, we can give your
healthy blood to your wife.
461
00:19:03,390 --> 00:19:05,430
[imitating Borat] "Your wife!"
462
00:19:05,500 --> 00:19:08,560
But, the transfusion
will kill you.
463
00:19:08,630 --> 00:19:10,730
[all gasp]
464
00:19:10,800 --> 00:19:12,440
My condolences.
465
00:19:12,500 --> 00:19:14,600
Why the hell did you
have to say the death part?
466
00:19:14,670 --> 00:19:16,810
Now he's going to
make one of us do it!
467
00:19:16,870 --> 00:19:19,540
Well, I've never been more
thankful for my shark blood.
468
00:19:19,610 --> 00:19:20,880
And, as previously stated,
469
00:19:20,940 --> 00:19:23,980
I am a dirt thing,
so it won't work on me.
470
00:19:24,710 --> 00:19:25,910
This is bullshit.
471
00:19:25,980 --> 00:19:28,520
No, it must be my sacrifice.
472
00:19:28,580 --> 00:19:30,620
The only reason I've suffered
through life
473
00:19:30,690 --> 00:19:32,920
in this godforsaken cryo-suit,
474
00:19:32,990 --> 00:19:34,920
is to find a cure for Nora.
475
00:19:34,990 --> 00:19:36,790
If that time has come,
476
00:19:36,860 --> 00:19:39,730
then I greet my end
with open arms.
477
00:19:39,800 --> 00:19:41,400
Holy shit, that's insane.
478
00:19:41,460 --> 00:19:43,470
It is not insane,
479
00:19:43,530 --> 00:19:45,600
for if you truly love someone,
480
00:19:45,670 --> 00:19:50,070
you will do anything for them.
481
00:20:08,360 --> 00:20:10,030
My beautiful girl.
482
00:20:13,000 --> 00:20:14,600
Goodbye, my love.
483
00:20:14,660 --> 00:20:19,640
Have the life
I could never give you.
484
00:20:20,970 --> 00:20:25,320
I will never stop loving you.
485
00:20:36,450 --> 00:20:37,450
No!
486
00:20:37,450 --> 00:20:40,860
[crying]
487
00:20:40,860 --> 00:20:41,860
[sobbing]
488
00:20:41,860 --> 00:20:42,860
Oh, God!
489
00:20:43,660 --> 00:20:46,030
I'm feeling feelings!
490
00:20:46,100 --> 00:20:49,700
I've never seen
truer love than that.
491
00:20:49,770 --> 00:20:53,070
Damn. That's nothin'
like what Joker and I had.
492
00:20:53,140 --> 00:20:54,740
I guess that would be
kinda nice.
493
00:20:54,800 --> 00:20:56,640
Oh. Don't be
too hard on yourself.
494
00:20:56,710 --> 00:20:58,440
We've all been
in toxic relationships
495
00:20:58,510 --> 00:21:00,640
that skewed
our thoughts on love.
496
00:21:00,710 --> 00:21:02,080
Leslie.
497
00:21:02,080 --> 00:21:04,510
Chin up, Harls. I mean,
if I can find true love,
498
00:21:04,580 --> 00:21:06,050
then there's hope for you too.
499
00:21:06,120 --> 00:21:07,920
I'm so happy for you guys.
500
00:21:07,980 --> 00:21:09,990
[Nora sobbing]
501
00:21:11,050 --> 00:21:13,360
And my condolences to you.
502
00:21:13,420 --> 00:21:15,460
He seemed like
a really great guy.
503
00:21:15,530 --> 00:21:16,760
Yeah, good guy.
504
00:21:16,760 --> 00:21:19,130
-So, so sorry.
-He was a real mensch.
505
00:21:19,130 --> 00:21:21,430
Can we go now?
506
00:21:21,500 --> 00:21:25,500
Oh, my God! Get out of here!
507
00:21:27,640 --> 00:21:30,670
Babe, I'm just... I'm so sorry
that I left the venue.
508
00:21:30,670 --> 00:21:32,040
I know how much
this meant to you,
509
00:21:32,040 --> 00:21:34,040
and I hope I didn't
mess it all up.
510
00:21:34,110 --> 00:21:36,910
While I totes appreesh
the apology, I realized
something today.
511
00:21:36,910 --> 00:21:39,880
It doesn't matter
where we get married,
512
00:21:39,950 --> 00:21:43,990
the only thing that matters,
is that I get to marry you.
513
00:21:44,050 --> 00:21:46,390
I don't even care
about the ven--
514
00:21:46,460 --> 00:21:47,820
[phone rings]
515
00:21:47,820 --> 00:21:49,490
I knew my selfless gesture
would be rewarded.
516
00:21:49,490 --> 00:21:51,460
Ah! It's just like
the end of a rom-com!
517
00:21:51,530 --> 00:21:53,560
You're go for the K-man.
518
00:21:53,630 --> 00:21:56,970
Hope you had a backup venue,
you kited douche!
519
00:21:57,030 --> 00:21:58,600
-[Condiment King laughing]
-Mitchell?
520
00:21:58,670 --> 00:22:00,540
No, put Stew on.
521
00:22:00,600 --> 00:22:02,570
-No, he's right.
-[laughs]
Looks like you didn't...
522
00:22:02,640 --> 00:22:05,470
"cut the mustard." [laughs]
523
00:22:05,540 --> 00:22:07,140
Oh, Jesus, here we go.
524
00:22:07,210 --> 00:22:11,550
You'll always be
trying to "ketchup" to me.
525
00:22:11,610 --> 00:22:13,480
-[laughs]
-He can't be serious.
526
00:22:13,550 --> 00:22:16,650
[laughs]
"Mayo" have a good day.
527
00:22:16,720 --> 00:22:17,790
He is.
528
00:22:17,850 --> 00:22:19,520
"Tartar" for now.
529
00:22:19,590 --> 00:22:20,790
Closer.
530
00:22:20,860 --> 00:22:22,660
I think he's
my nemesis now, too.
531
00:22:23,530 --> 00:22:25,560
[theme music playing]