1 00:00:22,600 --> 00:00:26,704 Aw. And that's one chipmunk we'll never forget. 2 00:00:26,737 --> 00:00:29,408 In other news, evil sorceress, Queen of Fables, 3 00:00:29,440 --> 00:00:34,204 won a huge ruling today when a judge found her imprisonment in a US Tax Code 4 00:00:34,204 --> 00:00:37,229 to be cruel and unusual punishment. 5 00:00:37,229 --> 00:00:39,250 [Queen of Fables] They always use that same damn picture. 6 00:00:39,250 --> 00:00:41,853 Better than the picture they use of me. 7 00:00:41,853 --> 00:00:43,487 Hey, at least they're letting you out soon. 8 00:00:43,487 --> 00:00:45,270 Are we still gonna get our weekly coffees? 9 00:00:45,270 --> 00:00:47,625 If I'm not too busy getting my fuck on. 10 00:00:47,658 --> 00:00:49,027 [both laugh] 11 00:00:49,060 --> 00:00:51,496 So, what's the update with the Legion of Doom? 12 00:00:51,496 --> 00:00:52,963 Nada. Same as last week. 13 00:00:52,997 --> 00:00:54,698 Who do I gotta blow up to get an invite? 14 00:00:54,731 --> 00:00:57,067 Easy. Find the thing the Legion wants most, 15 00:00:57,067 --> 00:00:59,103 and then you get it for yourself. 16 00:00:59,103 --> 00:01:02,874 All right, I've got a two o'clock with an independent contractor 17 00:01:02,875 --> 00:01:06,710 who keeps his receipts in a fuckin' ALF lunch box. 18 00:01:08,245 --> 00:01:10,213 Bane, Sinestro, Grodd, 19 00:01:10,246 --> 00:01:11,474 I mean, even Joker. 20 00:01:11,474 --> 00:01:12,865 Yeah, yeah, yeah. We know what they look like. 21 00:01:12,865 --> 00:01:15,186 -What's your point? -That they've all tried and failed 22 00:01:15,188 --> 00:01:18,722 to steal Kord Industries' game-changing weather machine. 23 00:01:18,724 --> 00:01:20,323 Which is why we are gonna do it. 24 00:01:20,358 --> 00:01:22,126 If none of them could steal it, 25 00:01:22,159 --> 00:01:25,296 that seems like a pretty good indicator that we should not try. 26 00:01:25,329 --> 00:01:28,329 But if we succeed, it will make the Legion so furious, 27 00:01:28,331 --> 00:01:30,367 they'll have to notice us. 28 00:01:30,400 --> 00:01:32,003 I sent Clayface to do some recon. 29 00:01:32,037 --> 00:01:34,206 My character was a sassy divorcee... 30 00:01:34,239 --> 00:01:37,375 Can we please not do the unnecessary backstory thing? 31 00:01:37,375 --> 00:01:39,277 -...named Brenda... -Okay. 32 00:01:39,278 --> 00:01:42,445 ...who is back in the dating game for the first time in a while, 33 00:01:42,480 --> 00:01:45,250 and she's decided to get adult braces. 34 00:01:45,250 --> 00:01:46,950 -Of course she did. -I know what you're thinking. 35 00:01:46,950 --> 00:01:48,852 It's a little expensive on a secretary's salary, 36 00:01:48,852 --> 00:01:51,055 but no! You can't put a price on a smile. 37 00:01:51,088 --> 00:01:53,257 So she threw caution to the wind-- 38 00:01:53,257 --> 00:01:56,328 Clayface! Intel! 39 00:01:56,361 --> 00:02:00,597 The machine is being protected by 1,000-ish lasers, 40 00:02:00,599 --> 00:02:02,334 according to head scientist Jerome Stansfield, 41 00:02:02,334 --> 00:02:04,668 who may or may not be heartbroken when Brenda 42 00:02:04,701 --> 00:02:06,171 does not show up to work tomorrow. 43 00:02:06,203 --> 00:02:09,340 How will we ever get past 1,000-ish lasers? 44 00:02:09,372 --> 00:02:10,908 Already thought of that. Psycho? 45 00:02:10,909 --> 00:02:13,578 S.T.A.R. Labs created a personal force field device 46 00:02:13,610 --> 00:02:15,045 that deflects energy. 47 00:02:15,080 --> 00:02:17,715 Problem is, the only way to get into the room 48 00:02:17,748 --> 00:02:20,550 is through an air duct about four inches wide. 49 00:02:20,551 --> 00:02:21,953 I don't know how the hell we're gonna do that. 50 00:02:21,953 --> 00:02:23,621 Yeah. I thought that might be an issue. 51 00:02:23,653 --> 00:02:25,222 -And? -And I was right. 52 00:02:25,222 --> 00:02:26,189 It's a definite issue. 53 00:02:26,189 --> 00:02:27,557 [Frank] Oh, shit, Harley. 54 00:02:27,558 --> 00:02:29,426 The news is talking about that book you love. 55 00:02:29,460 --> 00:02:31,262 Oh, Clive Cussler's Sahara? 56 00:02:31,294 --> 00:02:33,197 Clive Cuss-- No. 57 00:02:33,197 --> 00:02:34,497 Queen of Fables. 58 00:02:34,498 --> 00:02:35,911 Oh, that's right. She's gettin' out today. 59 00:02:35,911 --> 00:02:37,801 We are bringing you live to the courtroom 60 00:02:37,802 --> 00:02:39,069 where Queen of Fables is being released 61 00:02:39,104 --> 00:02:44,104 from her tax book prison of 30 years. 62 00:02:44,241 --> 00:02:45,643 Oh, yeah. 63 00:02:45,643 --> 00:02:47,677 Damn! Feels good to get out of those pages. 64 00:02:47,711 --> 00:02:50,114 Thanks, Zatanna. Thanks, Judge. See ya. 65 00:02:50,146 --> 00:02:51,782 Whoa! What the... 66 00:02:51,816 --> 00:02:52,950 Watch the robe. 67 00:02:52,984 --> 00:02:54,718 You said you were gonna release me! 68 00:02:54,752 --> 00:02:56,854 I did. From the tax code. 69 00:02:56,889 --> 00:03:00,691 But you're hereby sentenced to serve the remainder of your time in Arkham Asylum. 70 00:03:00,724 --> 00:03:02,693 [Harley] What? That's bullshit! 71 00:03:02,727 --> 00:03:04,128 Somebody's gotta do something. 72 00:03:04,128 --> 00:03:06,163 She's been stuck in that book for 30 years! 73 00:03:06,197 --> 00:03:08,933 [laughs] Yeah, 'cause she almost destroyed Gotham. 74 00:03:08,967 --> 00:03:12,203 Yeah, I think it was more of a lack of affordable housing that destroyed Gotham 75 00:03:12,236 --> 00:03:14,906 but, look, Fables has been a mentor to me. 76 00:03:14,938 --> 00:03:16,206 She just gets a bad rap. 77 00:03:16,241 --> 00:03:18,842 Look. Obviously, I'm not pro-Arkham, 78 00:03:18,842 --> 00:03:21,879 but if there was any person who definitely belongs there, 79 00:03:21,879 --> 00:03:23,515 it would be the Queen of-- Oh, my God. And you're gone. 80 00:03:23,515 --> 00:03:26,250 Yeah. She didn't hear any of that shit. 81 00:03:26,282 --> 00:03:28,252 [laughs] 82 00:03:28,284 --> 00:03:31,284 [inhales and yells] 83 00:03:34,324 --> 00:03:35,693 How about a light, handsome? 84 00:03:35,727 --> 00:03:38,830 Yeah, yeah, sure thing. 85 00:03:38,862 --> 00:03:41,399 Aw. Butterfingers. 86 00:03:41,431 --> 00:03:42,532 [tires screech] 87 00:03:42,567 --> 00:03:46,503 [crashing] 88 00:03:46,537 --> 00:03:47,671 Well, I'll be damned. 89 00:03:47,705 --> 00:03:49,841 Aw, I couldn't leave you behind. 90 00:03:49,873 --> 00:03:53,411 -[beeping] -Why, thank you, Harley. 91 00:03:53,443 --> 00:03:57,548 [grunts] 92 00:03:57,581 --> 00:03:59,382 Let's ride. 93 00:04:01,786 --> 00:04:05,086 [theme music playing] 94 00:04:08,558 --> 00:04:09,699 All right, everyone. 95 00:04:09,699 --> 00:04:11,930 I would like to introduce Queen of Fables. 96 00:04:11,930 --> 00:04:14,132 She's agreed to help us break into S.T.A.R. Labs. 97 00:04:14,132 --> 00:04:15,832 So, yeah. I'm gonna need you to pull something 98 00:04:15,832 --> 00:04:17,699 around four inches tall out of your storybook. 99 00:04:17,699 --> 00:04:21,105 Sure, but I'm not sure how Prince Charming's dick is gonna help ya. 100 00:04:21,137 --> 00:04:22,139 [all laughing] 101 00:04:22,139 --> 00:04:23,740 Kinda low hanging fruit. Not even tryin'. 102 00:04:23,740 --> 00:04:25,043 I'm just playin' around. 103 00:04:25,076 --> 00:04:26,699 After what you did for me, 104 00:04:26,699 --> 00:04:28,480 you can have whatever you need, honey. 105 00:04:28,480 --> 00:04:31,182 So you can pull any character out of your storybook? 106 00:04:31,182 --> 00:04:32,817 Sure can. Who's your favorite? 107 00:04:32,850 --> 00:04:36,319 Oh, I'm partial to Humpty Dumpty. 108 00:04:36,353 --> 00:04:37,855 Hi, everybody. 109 00:04:37,889 --> 00:04:39,790 -Aw. -Oh, my God. It's him! 110 00:04:39,824 --> 00:04:42,026 Oh, he's so-- [screams] 111 00:04:42,060 --> 00:04:44,295 He makes the best eggs. 112 00:04:44,329 --> 00:04:47,264 -Y'all got a kitchen here, right? -[crying] 113 00:04:47,298 --> 00:04:48,800 Uh, Harley. A moment? 114 00:04:48,833 --> 00:04:50,257 What are you thinking? 115 00:04:50,257 --> 00:04:52,370 Uh, that the only way to get the Legion of Doom's attention 116 00:04:52,370 --> 00:04:54,170 is that weather machine, and she's gonna help me steal it? 117 00:04:54,204 --> 00:04:55,774 No, no, no, no. 118 00:04:55,807 --> 00:04:58,142 Seriously, you do not want to get involved with this bitch. 119 00:04:58,175 --> 00:05:00,644 She's like a real, legit bad guy. 120 00:05:00,677 --> 00:05:02,146 Dude, we're all bad guys. 121 00:05:02,180 --> 00:05:04,848 Uh, first of all, I care about the environment, okay? 122 00:05:04,882 --> 00:05:07,151 I don't know what about that makes me a bad guy. 123 00:05:07,151 --> 00:05:09,552 Yeah. Says the girl who dissolved the head of ACE Chemicals 124 00:05:09,586 --> 00:05:10,887 in a bath of his own herbicide. 125 00:05:10,922 --> 00:05:13,091 Best Earth Day ever. Holla. [chuckles] 126 00:05:13,124 --> 00:05:15,994 Fables has been teaching me the ropes of super villainy. 127 00:05:16,026 --> 00:05:18,096 You were the one saying I should listen to other people. 128 00:05:18,129 --> 00:05:20,298 No. I said listen to me, okay? 129 00:05:20,331 --> 00:05:23,134 You're a bad guy but you're a good person. 130 00:05:23,168 --> 00:05:25,302 Uh, I don't know, Ive. Bad is bad. 131 00:05:25,336 --> 00:05:27,137 Ugh! All right, let me try this again. 132 00:05:27,172 --> 00:05:29,339 You're like broadcast bad. 133 00:05:29,372 --> 00:05:31,608 She's cable bad. 134 00:05:31,641 --> 00:05:35,213 [screaming] 135 00:05:35,245 --> 00:05:37,314 Trust me. You're gonna regret this. 136 00:05:37,314 --> 00:05:39,149 I can't listen to you when you're dressed like a '40s housewife 137 00:05:39,184 --> 00:05:40,550 who's fucking her husband's boss. 138 00:05:40,584 --> 00:05:41,952 I mean, what is with that outfit? 139 00:05:41,952 --> 00:05:44,488 What? Oh, I'm just... I'm going out to... 140 00:05:44,488 --> 00:05:48,136 -To do environment. -"To do environment"? 141 00:05:55,701 --> 00:05:57,369 Ho! 142 00:05:57,369 --> 00:05:59,403 Oh, God. Is that a bouquet of roses? 143 00:05:59,403 --> 00:06:01,238 You realize that's like handing me a bunch of baby heads, right? 144 00:06:01,271 --> 00:06:03,776 Uh, baby heads. With baby bodies. 145 00:06:03,810 --> 00:06:05,942 Guess who's one step ahead of you? 146 00:06:05,976 --> 00:06:07,646 [softly] Kite Man. 147 00:06:07,646 --> 00:06:09,480 This is actually very sweet of you, what you've done here. 148 00:06:09,480 --> 00:06:12,088 -Yeah, you look bangin'. -Oh, God. You make this so hard. 149 00:06:12,088 --> 00:06:13,350 Okay. Are you ready? 150 00:06:13,384 --> 00:06:15,185 Uh, did you check out my apartment number? 151 00:06:15,220 --> 00:06:17,622 [laughs] It was a 66. I did a little flip-a-roo 152 00:06:17,656 --> 00:06:21,392 on that second numero seis to make it real nice. 153 00:06:21,392 --> 00:06:23,961 This was a mistake. We should've just met at the motel again. 154 00:06:23,961 --> 00:06:25,930 -I feel like that's more of our jam. -No. 155 00:06:25,930 --> 00:06:27,833 No, I was just jokin'. 156 00:06:27,865 --> 00:06:30,267 I'm gonna put it back. I'm putting it back. I'll put it back, babe. 157 00:06:30,267 --> 00:06:32,170 So, you sure you don't wanna go out for dinner? 158 00:06:32,170 --> 00:06:34,137 -Instead of a movie? -What? In a public place? 159 00:06:34,172 --> 00:06:36,305 Yeah, I mean, Kite Man likes to peacock. 160 00:06:36,339 --> 00:06:37,408 With his peahen. 161 00:06:37,442 --> 00:06:39,442 -That's a female peacock. -I understood. 162 00:06:39,476 --> 00:06:40,911 Uh, let's do a movie. 163 00:06:40,944 --> 00:06:42,846 Okay? Like, definitely, a movie is my choice. 164 00:06:42,879 --> 00:06:45,516 Gotcha. Restaurant next time. 165 00:06:45,548 --> 00:06:46,548 Nice. 166 00:06:52,089 --> 00:06:55,425 Okay, Queen. You're up. 167 00:06:55,459 --> 00:06:58,196 Aw. He is precious. 168 00:06:58,228 --> 00:07:02,528 But are you sure Cinderella's mouse is up for the job? 169 00:07:11,475 --> 00:07:12,543 Ow. 170 00:07:12,543 --> 00:07:14,211 That answer your question? 171 00:07:14,211 --> 00:07:17,148 It does, but it actually brings up a lot of other questions. 172 00:07:17,182 --> 00:07:22,182 All right. We got a personal force field to steal. 173 00:07:29,660 --> 00:07:33,329 The hell? 174 00:07:33,329 --> 00:07:34,899 Oh, shit. 175 00:07:34,932 --> 00:07:37,100 [announcer on PA] Welcome to the Praxis family reunion. 176 00:07:37,134 --> 00:07:42,084 [people chattering indistinctly] 177 00:07:42,673 --> 00:07:44,509 Damn it, that guy ratted us out. 178 00:07:44,543 --> 00:07:46,276 -I'm calling off the mission. -Relax. 179 00:07:46,310 --> 00:07:49,446 You do your thing. I'll keep them busy. 180 00:07:49,480 --> 00:07:51,716 Who likes fairy tales? 181 00:07:51,749 --> 00:07:53,918 [children clamoring] 182 00:07:53,951 --> 00:07:56,321 Mmm-hmm. 183 00:07:56,353 --> 00:08:01,353 -[alarm blaring] -[sirens wailing] 184 00:08:04,661 --> 00:08:05,661 [Clayface] We did it! 185 00:08:05,661 --> 00:08:07,432 Fables, let's go! We pulled off the caper without a-- 186 00:08:07,466 --> 00:08:08,709 [all scream] 187 00:08:08,709 --> 00:08:11,201 -[Harley] Oh, shit! -[King Shark] This is horrifying! 188 00:08:11,235 --> 00:08:15,471 I won't be needing these anymore. 189 00:08:15,505 --> 00:08:16,807 What did you do? 190 00:08:16,841 --> 00:08:18,309 I didn't do anything. 191 00:08:18,343 --> 00:08:21,377 All credit goes to the Big Bad Wolf here. 192 00:08:21,377 --> 00:08:22,379 [growls] 193 00:08:22,379 --> 00:08:23,514 But why? 194 00:08:23,548 --> 00:08:25,916 You were there. That guy ratted us out. 195 00:08:25,949 --> 00:08:27,185 So I killed that guy. 196 00:08:27,185 --> 00:08:28,886 Then everyone saw me kill that guy, 197 00:08:28,886 --> 00:08:29,975 so I killed everyone. 198 00:08:29,975 --> 00:08:33,057 You gotta end the bloodline and prevent any revenge killing. 199 00:08:33,091 --> 00:08:34,458 I mean, that's just Evil 101. 200 00:08:34,491 --> 00:08:36,927 Uh, I taught that class at Boston College, 201 00:08:36,927 --> 00:08:38,730 and we never covered anything this fucked up. 202 00:08:38,730 --> 00:08:40,998 All right, guys. Come on. Take a look around. 203 00:08:41,032 --> 00:08:42,232 Make sure I got everyone. 204 00:08:42,267 --> 00:08:46,466 Make sure they're all dead. 205 00:08:47,971 --> 00:08:49,407 Uh, yup. Yup. 206 00:08:49,441 --> 00:08:51,543 You killed the shit out of everyone. Let's go. 207 00:08:51,576 --> 00:08:53,547 All right. Let me grab the Three Little Pigs to clean this mess up. 208 00:08:53,580 --> 00:08:56,214 Oh, they are cu--Oh, Jesus. 209 00:08:56,246 --> 00:08:59,318 -[pigs squealing] -There we go. Go get 'em, boys. 210 00:09:00,583 --> 00:09:02,419 Come on. The bones, too. 211 00:09:02,453 --> 00:09:06,017 -Come on. The bones. -[bones crunching] 212 00:09:06,323 --> 00:09:08,192 You know, no one ever talks about it 213 00:09:08,192 --> 00:09:10,363 but it's almost impossible to get brain out of a cape. 214 00:09:10,363 --> 00:09:13,965 Did she do the pig thing or... 215 00:09:13,998 --> 00:09:15,966 That's a yes. So... 216 00:09:16,000 --> 00:09:18,403 You think I was right to be worried? 217 00:09:18,436 --> 00:09:20,738 Yes. Oh, my God. Ivy, you were way right. 218 00:09:20,770 --> 00:09:22,407 She is... a lot. 219 00:09:22,440 --> 00:09:26,177 And so now you're gonna tell her that it's... 220 00:09:26,210 --> 00:09:27,980 Over. Yes. I'll tell her. 221 00:09:28,013 --> 00:09:29,614 We'll just go back to being friends that do not work together. 222 00:09:29,648 --> 00:09:31,618 Boy, that was some fun shit, Harley, huh? 223 00:09:31,652 --> 00:09:34,184 Come on. Up top. And guess what? 224 00:09:34,217 --> 00:09:36,488 I decided to stick around a little while longer. 225 00:09:36,520 --> 00:09:38,121 Help you get that weather machine. 226 00:09:38,155 --> 00:09:40,124 [chuckles nervously] Oh, that's too generous. 227 00:09:40,158 --> 00:09:41,326 I don't wanna put you out. 228 00:09:41,359 --> 00:09:43,327 Nonsense. This is fun. 229 00:09:43,360 --> 00:09:45,462 I feel like I'm gettin' my groove back. 230 00:09:45,496 --> 00:09:47,365 Oh, and if you liked the pigs, 231 00:09:47,398 --> 00:09:50,100 wait till you see the three blind mice eat a body. 232 00:09:50,134 --> 00:09:51,802 The mice eat bodies, too? 233 00:09:51,836 --> 00:09:52,926 Oh, my God. 234 00:09:52,926 --> 00:09:56,073 Those little bastards can just gnaw the shit out of a head. 235 00:09:56,107 --> 00:10:00,077 It takes longer 'cause they got those little, you know, mice teeth, the best! 236 00:10:00,110 --> 00:10:02,614 Wow. Now, that's fun, Harley, right? 237 00:10:02,647 --> 00:10:04,749 That's the kinda stuff you've got ahead of ya. 238 00:10:04,782 --> 00:10:06,149 [sighs and clears throat] 239 00:10:06,183 --> 00:10:08,221 Hey, uh, Fables? We need to talk. 240 00:10:08,254 --> 00:10:10,355 Hey, everybody. Check your shoes. 241 00:10:10,388 --> 00:10:12,691 Someone stepped in eye. What's up? 242 00:10:12,724 --> 00:10:14,860 You know, I appreciate how much of a badass you are, 243 00:10:14,893 --> 00:10:17,596 I mean, listen, I consider you a friend and a mentor, 244 00:10:17,629 --> 00:10:19,964 -and just a real-- -You know what'd be great? 245 00:10:19,996 --> 00:10:21,933 If you said what you actually mean. 246 00:10:21,966 --> 00:10:24,369 I just... I think maybe you should sit out the weather machine heist. 247 00:10:24,402 --> 00:10:27,138 Your style, it's just a little... intense. 248 00:10:27,171 --> 00:10:28,606 Oh. I'm sorry. 249 00:10:28,639 --> 00:10:31,042 I thought the point was to get the job done. 250 00:10:31,075 --> 00:10:33,043 Yeah, but not by murdering innocent people, 251 00:10:33,043 --> 00:10:34,879 I mean, it's just a line I won't cross. 252 00:10:34,879 --> 00:10:37,049 Oh, you got a line, huh? 253 00:10:37,082 --> 00:10:39,817 Hey, guys. She has a line. 254 00:10:39,850 --> 00:10:41,751 Superheroes have a line. 255 00:10:41,785 --> 00:10:43,154 Teen Titans have a line. 256 00:10:43,187 --> 00:10:45,256 We don't give a fuck. 257 00:10:45,291 --> 00:10:49,326 Yeah, you know. I think maybe I just give, like, a microscopic fuck. 258 00:10:49,360 --> 00:10:52,464 Well, the Legion of Doom gives zero fucks. 259 00:10:52,496 --> 00:10:54,231 And if you wanna get in there, 260 00:10:54,231 --> 00:10:56,033 you better start pole vaulting 261 00:10:56,067 --> 00:10:58,436 over those lines you don't wanna cross. 262 00:10:58,470 --> 00:10:59,971 Is that from Mamma Mia? 263 00:11:00,004 --> 00:11:01,371 Thank you for your counsel. 264 00:11:01,371 --> 00:11:03,173 But I believe this is where we must part ways. 265 00:11:03,173 --> 00:11:07,504 I hope we can remain friends. 266 00:11:08,647 --> 00:11:10,922 Am I the only one whose asshole's puckering. 267 00:11:10,922 --> 00:11:13,017 I think I clayed myself. 268 00:11:13,049 --> 00:11:16,052 Okay. I'll be on my merry way. 269 00:11:16,086 --> 00:11:18,389 But you're makin' a big mistake. 270 00:11:18,423 --> 00:11:20,357 Rapunzel, Rumpelstiltskin. 271 00:11:20,390 --> 00:11:24,591 Let's go tear some shit up. 272 00:11:25,863 --> 00:11:27,498 [birds chirping] 273 00:11:27,530 --> 00:11:29,030 Deuces. 274 00:11:31,871 --> 00:11:35,639 Bon soir, bro. Rezzy for two. 275 00:11:35,673 --> 00:11:37,475 Under "Kite Man." 276 00:11:37,475 --> 00:11:39,778 Oh, [clicks tongue] I'm so sorry, Monsieur Kite Man, 277 00:11:39,778 --> 00:11:42,313 but we are a little backed up. It will be about 40 minutes. 278 00:11:42,347 --> 00:11:46,551 Uh, excuse me, well then, what's the point of making a rezzy here, bro? 279 00:11:46,583 --> 00:11:48,418 I mean, I took my lady out tonight 280 00:11:48,452 --> 00:11:49,955 so we can see and be seen! 281 00:11:49,988 --> 00:11:52,456 No, its fine. Can we just... Can we just do the movie? 282 00:11:52,490 --> 00:11:54,392 -Let's do the movie. -But hon, we're here... 283 00:11:54,424 --> 00:11:56,360 I wanted to take you out for din din. 284 00:11:56,394 --> 00:12:00,030 Excuse me. Sir, maybe I'm listed under "Man, Kite." 285 00:12:00,063 --> 00:12:02,166 Or "The Kite Man," sometimes that. 286 00:12:02,200 --> 00:12:03,467 Oh. Okay. Wait. Hang on. 287 00:12:03,500 --> 00:12:04,769 I know what happened here. 288 00:12:04,769 --> 00:12:05,769 You don't recognize me without the kite. 289 00:12:05,770 --> 00:12:07,938 [grunts] 290 00:12:07,972 --> 00:12:10,808 -I'm sorry there. -I think put the kite away maybe? 291 00:12:10,841 --> 00:12:13,076 Well, that's actually easier said than done. 292 00:12:13,110 --> 00:12:16,260 Um, somebody got an Allen key? 293 00:12:20,017 --> 00:12:21,618 [grunts] 294 00:12:21,652 --> 00:12:26,524 [grunts] 295 00:12:26,557 --> 00:12:27,692 Hey, what's he doing here? 296 00:12:27,725 --> 00:12:29,326 I thought he was loyal to Fable. 297 00:12:29,360 --> 00:12:31,796 He's a mercenary, loyal to the almighty dollar. 298 00:12:31,830 --> 00:12:36,830 An adorable little soldier of fortune, isn't he? 299 00:12:38,236 --> 00:12:41,371 Huh. I thought you said this thing was protected by a bunch of lasers? 300 00:12:41,405 --> 00:12:43,990 That's what the blueprints said. 301 00:12:49,013 --> 00:12:50,513 [beeping] 302 00:12:54,851 --> 00:12:55,851 [squeaks] 303 00:12:58,399 --> 00:12:59,167 Oh, there they are. 304 00:12:59,167 --> 00:13:01,759 Look. If it wasn't lasers, it was gonna be lung cancer. 305 00:13:01,793 --> 00:13:04,261 I have never seen a mouse smoke unfiltered, 306 00:13:04,261 --> 00:13:06,063 human-sized cigarettes to that degree. 307 00:13:06,097 --> 00:13:08,732 Okay, guys, y'know, if my body gets diced up by lasers, 308 00:13:08,732 --> 00:13:10,601 I don't know, you do something fun with it, 309 00:13:10,601 --> 00:13:12,470 like mail my ear to a random family 310 00:13:12,470 --> 00:13:13,705 and say, "We have your daughter." 311 00:13:13,705 --> 00:13:16,394 You know, something like that. 312 00:13:21,778 --> 00:13:24,178 [guns whirring] 313 00:13:34,893 --> 00:13:38,462 Hello, Legion of Doom. 314 00:13:38,495 --> 00:13:39,785 [Harley] That's right, Mayor. 315 00:13:39,785 --> 00:13:41,966 We'll raise the temperature of Gotham by one degree 316 00:13:42,000 --> 00:13:44,268 every minute till ya give us a billion dollars! 317 00:13:44,302 --> 00:13:45,465 [Clayface whispering] 318 00:13:45,465 --> 00:13:47,606 And you produce Clayface's Fuller House reboot... 319 00:13:47,640 --> 00:13:49,307 Fullest House. 320 00:13:49,307 --> 00:13:50,542 I have an inexpensive way in... 321 00:13:50,542 --> 00:13:53,077 Not more people. A smaller house. 322 00:13:53,110 --> 00:13:55,312 You know what you and your crew are, Ms. Quinn? 323 00:13:55,346 --> 00:13:56,614 A scourge. 324 00:13:56,614 --> 00:13:58,282 Hey, look at that, the Mayor upgraded us 325 00:13:58,282 --> 00:13:59,551 from nuisance to "scourge"! 326 00:13:59,583 --> 00:14:01,421 Ooh, we skipped over "menace"? 327 00:14:01,453 --> 00:14:03,200 That's a big jump. 328 00:14:03,200 --> 00:14:05,190 That's what happens when ya steal the unstealable. 329 00:14:05,224 --> 00:14:07,258 [Queen of Fables] Thanks for doing that, by the way. 330 00:14:07,291 --> 00:14:10,000 I'll be taking that weather machine now. 331 00:14:10,000 --> 00:14:11,000 Hey, Mayor, I'll call ya back. 332 00:14:11,000 --> 00:14:12,575 You fucked up, Harley. 333 00:14:12,575 --> 00:14:14,764 Y'know, I do a lot of that, so you're gonna have to be more specific. 334 00:14:14,798 --> 00:14:15,933 You pissed me off 335 00:14:15,966 --> 00:14:18,635 and then let me walk away in one piece? 336 00:14:18,669 --> 00:14:20,971 Rookie mistake, right, Big Bad? 337 00:14:20,971 --> 00:14:21,971 [growls] 338 00:14:21,971 --> 00:14:23,274 I can't believe you're doing this. 339 00:14:23,274 --> 00:14:24,975 I broke you out of Arkham! 340 00:14:25,000 --> 00:14:28,044 I even helped ya sign up for Tinder so ya can get your fuck on. 341 00:14:28,044 --> 00:14:29,259 I mean, we're friends! 342 00:14:29,259 --> 00:14:32,517 Sometimes doing whatever it takes means fucking over your friends. 343 00:14:32,549 --> 00:14:34,217 Hand over that weather machine. 344 00:14:34,251 --> 00:14:36,120 Over my dead body. 345 00:14:36,153 --> 00:14:37,753 All right. How you wanna go? 346 00:14:37,753 --> 00:14:40,424 Little Bo Peep could beat the shit outta ya with her shepherd's stick. 347 00:14:40,457 --> 00:14:42,960 Just tell me if you want casket open or closed. 348 00:14:42,993 --> 00:14:45,962 [all grunt] 349 00:14:45,995 --> 00:14:47,365 [electricity crackling] 350 00:14:47,398 --> 00:14:49,166 What the hell kinda fairy tale is he from? 351 00:14:49,200 --> 00:14:50,534 Well, from the looks of him, 352 00:14:50,534 --> 00:14:52,269 one of those Danish ones that's super racist. 353 00:14:52,269 --> 00:14:54,970 He's not with me. 354 00:14:57,575 --> 00:15:00,578 Um, anyone have another magical storybook? 355 00:15:00,613 --> 00:15:05,613 Shit, I mean, is there a B. Dalton or a Waldenbooks in this motherfucker? 356 00:15:06,182 --> 00:15:08,052 [all yelling] 357 00:15:08,085 --> 00:15:09,253 Who the hell are you? 358 00:15:09,287 --> 00:15:12,390 -I am Jason Praxis. -Who? 359 00:15:12,423 --> 00:15:17,861 Last surviving member of the 25th Annual Praxis Family Reunion and Jamboree. 360 00:15:17,861 --> 00:15:21,164 -Who? -You murdered all of my family! 361 00:15:21,197 --> 00:15:22,767 [all] Oh, shit. 362 00:15:22,801 --> 00:15:25,102 -Yeah, I did that. -[yells] 363 00:15:25,136 --> 00:15:28,706 Uh, hey, yeah, I'm just checkin' to see if my buzzer is broken 364 00:15:28,740 --> 00:15:31,207 'cause you said it'd be 45 minutes and it's been 40... 365 00:15:31,241 --> 00:15:33,043 Oh. It's been 47. 366 00:15:33,076 --> 00:15:34,544 I've got a riddle for you. 367 00:15:34,578 --> 00:15:36,981 Who's hungry, but doesn't have a reservation? 368 00:15:37,014 --> 00:15:40,150 Monsieur Riddler, looking well. Right this way. 369 00:15:40,150 --> 00:15:40,846 [Riddler laughs] 370 00:15:40,846 --> 00:15:43,855 Y'know what, it's cool. Let's just... Let's go. Let's get out of here. 371 00:15:43,888 --> 00:15:45,756 Uh, maybe you could just drop your name. 372 00:15:45,756 --> 00:15:48,058 -I mean, is it weird for me to... -Yeah, a little bit. 373 00:15:48,058 --> 00:15:50,562 -I'd rather just not do that... -Totally get it. 374 00:15:50,596 --> 00:15:54,065 -Yeah. I mean, you're a very humble person. -No! Don't... Do not... 375 00:15:54,099 --> 00:15:57,299 -Do not do that. -Whoa. Babe, did you used to work here or something? 376 00:15:57,301 --> 00:15:58,735 Did you fuck the manager? 377 00:15:58,769 --> 00:16:01,808 No judgement if ya did. Kite Man is very secure. 378 00:16:01,842 --> 00:16:04,274 -Great. -Wait. 379 00:16:04,307 --> 00:16:06,409 The sunglasses, the hat... 380 00:16:06,443 --> 00:16:08,113 Are you embarrassed to be seen with me? 381 00:16:08,145 --> 00:16:11,581 -Can we talk about this somewhere else? -Oh, my God. 382 00:16:11,615 --> 00:16:13,650 -No. -You are embarrassed. 383 00:16:13,684 --> 00:16:16,320 Is there even lingerie under that trench coat? 384 00:16:16,354 --> 00:16:18,923 -Kite Man, look. -No, you Kite Man look. 385 00:16:18,956 --> 00:16:20,725 You think I'm some D-list piece of shit 386 00:16:20,758 --> 00:16:22,726 that went to REI and bought a hang-glider. 387 00:16:22,759 --> 00:16:24,129 I don't think that... 388 00:16:24,129 --> 00:16:25,797 But I mean, that is what happened, right? 389 00:16:25,797 --> 00:16:29,265 Oh, I'm sorry I can't make plants 390 00:16:29,299 --> 00:16:32,202 do all sorts of shit with my mind. 391 00:16:32,235 --> 00:16:34,239 We can't all be Poison Ivy! 392 00:16:34,272 --> 00:16:37,274 Look! The table's ready. Let's just... Let's go eat. 393 00:16:37,307 --> 00:16:38,610 I believe I've lost my appetite. 394 00:16:38,610 --> 00:16:39,878 Kite Man, please don't do this. 395 00:16:39,878 --> 00:16:42,878 You're the one doing the "this." 396 00:16:51,522 --> 00:16:53,625 Ah! I thought you ended the bloodline? 397 00:16:53,625 --> 00:16:56,163 I didn't leave anyone alive. Did you see anyone alive? 398 00:16:56,196 --> 00:16:59,630 -Eh... -"Eh"? What is "Eh"? 399 00:16:59,663 --> 00:17:02,667 I may have seen one person left alive. 400 00:17:02,700 --> 00:17:04,602 What? How long have you been sittin' 401 00:17:04,635 --> 00:17:06,436 on this little nugget of information? 402 00:17:06,471 --> 00:17:08,772 It was nothin'. It was just a little girl... 403 00:17:08,807 --> 00:17:13,443 With like a blonde... ponytail. 404 00:17:13,478 --> 00:17:14,711 Oh, shit. 405 00:17:14,746 --> 00:17:18,249 And that's why you always end the what? 406 00:17:18,281 --> 00:17:19,584 [all] The bloodline. 407 00:17:19,616 --> 00:17:22,553 The motherfucking bloodline. Yes! 408 00:17:22,586 --> 00:17:24,756 My family was close. 409 00:17:24,788 --> 00:17:26,723 Not Appalachian hillbilly close, 410 00:17:26,758 --> 00:17:28,259 but we leaned on each other. 411 00:17:28,291 --> 00:17:31,262 We made each other laugh. 412 00:17:31,296 --> 00:17:33,730 That all changed when you showed up. 413 00:17:33,765 --> 00:17:36,534 -[all gasping] -[growls] 414 00:17:36,567 --> 00:17:38,068 -[people screaming] -[splattering] 415 00:17:38,103 --> 00:17:41,339 My brothers gone. Aunts, uncles, gone. 416 00:17:41,373 --> 00:17:44,509 My cousin twice removed, completely removed! 417 00:17:44,541 --> 00:17:46,576 [growls] 418 00:17:46,611 --> 00:17:48,780 I was so distraught. 419 00:17:48,814 --> 00:17:53,284 I threw myself against the electrified fence at S.T.A.R. Labs, 420 00:17:53,317 --> 00:17:55,385 but instead of killing me, it... 421 00:17:55,419 --> 00:17:58,155 -Gave him powers. -It gave me powers! 422 00:17:58,190 --> 00:18:01,526 Every goddamn time. And now he wants to-- 423 00:18:01,558 --> 00:18:03,862 I seek revenge! 424 00:18:03,894 --> 00:18:05,997 -That. -Is there anythin' we can do to make this right? 425 00:18:06,030 --> 00:18:09,666 Not unless you can bring my family back from the dead. 426 00:18:09,701 --> 00:18:11,938 Hang on. Lemme check. Anyone? 427 00:18:11,971 --> 00:18:15,640 Yeah, no, we can't do that. Your second choice? 428 00:18:15,673 --> 00:18:18,222 Kill all of you! 429 00:18:21,145 --> 00:18:23,080 Ooh, I didn't even know he could do that. 430 00:18:23,114 --> 00:18:26,050 I should tell you I woke up this morning with a post-nasal thing, 431 00:18:26,084 --> 00:18:29,420 drank a lot of cough syrup and I can't hold this much longer. 432 00:18:29,452 --> 00:18:31,756 Is there a third choice, Mr. Praxis? 433 00:18:31,788 --> 00:18:35,926 Hand over Queen of Fables and the rest of you can live. 434 00:18:35,960 --> 00:18:37,830 All right. Let's come up with a plan here. 435 00:18:37,864 --> 00:18:40,631 -Already got one. -Hey, what the-- 436 00:18:40,664 --> 00:18:45,315 I'm comin' out with the Queen. 437 00:18:45,805 --> 00:18:48,573 She's all yours. 438 00:18:48,605 --> 00:18:52,343 [siren blaring] 439 00:18:52,375 --> 00:18:53,426 Hey. 440 00:18:53,426 --> 00:18:55,881 Look, I got you a real nine. [chuckles nervously] 441 00:18:55,881 --> 00:19:00,785 So you don't have to, like, turn your six upside down to make the, you know, 69. 442 00:19:00,817 --> 00:19:01,952 -[groans] -[sighs] 443 00:19:01,986 --> 00:19:03,855 Kite Man, I'm here to apologize. 444 00:19:03,887 --> 00:19:06,523 -Apology accepted. -That wasn't the apology part. 445 00:19:06,557 --> 00:19:08,291 Oh, right. Then by all means, continue. 446 00:19:08,325 --> 00:19:09,325 Okay. 447 00:19:09,325 --> 00:19:12,096 I am genuinely sorry for how I acted at the restaurant. 448 00:19:12,130 --> 00:19:14,965 I mean, I pretend like I'm this like badass 449 00:19:14,999 --> 00:19:16,733 who doesn't care what people think, but... 450 00:19:16,733 --> 00:19:17,894 But you do. 451 00:19:17,894 --> 00:19:19,571 Right, which is why I said "I pretend." 452 00:19:19,571 --> 00:19:22,106 No, no, no, I get it. 453 00:19:22,140 --> 00:19:26,176 When you have a superpower like being able to control all plant life, 454 00:19:26,211 --> 00:19:30,214 or having a kite, there's just so much you gotta live up to. 455 00:19:30,248 --> 00:19:33,384 I love that you think that that's a power. 456 00:19:33,416 --> 00:19:34,919 Y'know, it's great. 457 00:19:34,952 --> 00:19:37,623 I wish I had that kind of insane level of confidence. 458 00:19:37,655 --> 00:19:40,857 It's like, you genuinely do not care what other people think. 459 00:19:40,892 --> 00:19:42,660 I care about what you think. 460 00:19:42,692 --> 00:19:44,528 Aw, that's really sweet of you to say. 461 00:19:44,561 --> 00:19:46,900 And... I care about dat ass. 462 00:19:46,932 --> 00:19:51,268 Okay. Look, you're not traditionally the kind of dude I date. 463 00:19:51,301 --> 00:19:52,769 Y'know, you're just not. 464 00:19:52,769 --> 00:19:57,106 But against all logic and reason, I do like you. 465 00:19:57,141 --> 00:19:58,644 Like, like-like? 466 00:19:58,676 --> 00:20:00,912 -I mean, we've had sex. -Nice. 467 00:20:00,944 --> 00:20:03,513 -[door opens] -Oh, hey. This is my roommate Bill, 468 00:20:03,548 --> 00:20:05,183 AKA the Bill-doe. 469 00:20:05,218 --> 00:20:07,551 Hey. I'm Ivy. 470 00:20:07,585 --> 00:20:10,453 I'm... I'm his girlfriend. 471 00:20:10,488 --> 00:20:11,906 Hell, yeah. 472 00:20:12,959 --> 00:20:18,163 I'm gonna send your ass to the happily never after, Fables! 473 00:20:18,163 --> 00:20:20,463 -[laughs] -Seriously? You liked that? 474 00:20:20,498 --> 00:20:22,701 Indeed. Terse. Lucid. 475 00:20:22,736 --> 00:20:26,503 Organically wove the theme of his target into the barb! 476 00:20:26,537 --> 00:20:27,703 A triumph! 477 00:20:27,703 --> 00:20:28,740 I'm gonna get some more cough syrup. 478 00:20:28,772 --> 00:20:29,973 C'mon, Harley, 479 00:20:30,008 --> 00:20:31,875 you don't have it in you to do this. 480 00:20:31,910 --> 00:20:33,744 You have a "line," remember? 481 00:20:33,778 --> 00:20:37,249 Yeah. That's what I used to think, too. 482 00:20:37,281 --> 00:20:40,432 For House... Praxis! 483 00:20:42,619 --> 00:20:44,654 [grunts] 484 00:20:44,689 --> 00:20:46,089 'Ey, guess what? 485 00:20:46,089 --> 00:20:47,291 You're not dead. 486 00:20:47,291 --> 00:20:49,492 Force field, baby! I slipped it on your wrist. 487 00:20:49,527 --> 00:20:51,127 Damn. You set me up. 488 00:20:51,161 --> 00:20:52,364 You tricky bitch. 489 00:20:52,396 --> 00:20:54,266 I would never send a friend to her death, 490 00:20:54,298 --> 00:20:56,500 even one that tried to screw me over. 491 00:20:56,534 --> 00:20:58,702 So, you're just gonna let me go? 492 00:20:58,702 --> 00:21:00,003 Yeah. I got the weather machine. 493 00:21:00,038 --> 00:21:02,006 I won and I did it my way. 494 00:21:02,006 --> 00:21:04,240 I'm a bad guy, not a bad person. 495 00:21:04,275 --> 00:21:05,568 You're a dumb person. 496 00:21:05,568 --> 00:21:08,378 You're gonna regret letting me walk out of here alive, Quinn. 497 00:21:08,412 --> 00:21:10,464 Don't forget your little book. 498 00:21:12,516 --> 00:21:14,094 [groans] 499 00:21:14,094 --> 00:21:17,023 Oh, no. He's waking up and I cannot deal with awkward situations. 500 00:21:17,057 --> 00:21:19,757 D-Did I vanquish her? 501 00:21:19,790 --> 00:21:22,393 Please, tell me I avenged my family? 502 00:21:22,425 --> 00:21:24,327 Uh, yeah? 503 00:21:24,361 --> 00:21:25,563 Thank God. 504 00:21:25,596 --> 00:21:28,365 [sniffles] I can finally start... 505 00:21:28,398 --> 00:21:30,567 -[screams] -Fables! 506 00:21:30,601 --> 00:21:32,502 -Why? -[laughs] 507 00:21:32,536 --> 00:21:34,204 Oh, my goodness. 508 00:21:34,239 --> 00:21:37,075 Can you believe, with all that ending-the-bloodline talk, 509 00:21:37,107 --> 00:21:41,907 I almost forgot this guy? Jeez. 510 00:21:42,378 --> 00:21:44,648 All right, now I'm going. 511 00:21:44,682 --> 00:21:46,549 So what did I miss? 512 00:21:46,584 --> 00:21:50,483 Oh, my God! A lot, I guess. 513 00:21:51,489 --> 00:21:52,623 [machine beeping] 514 00:21:52,656 --> 00:21:55,192 [Clayface] Try "NeilPatrickHarris1." 515 00:21:55,226 --> 00:21:58,729 Clayface, is that your personal password? 516 00:21:58,762 --> 00:22:00,097 -No. -Okay. 517 00:22:00,131 --> 00:22:02,532 -[beeping] -Well, it doesn't work anyway. 518 00:22:02,566 --> 00:22:04,035 So, lemme just get this straight. 519 00:22:04,067 --> 00:22:06,605 You went through two heists, sacrificed a family 520 00:22:06,637 --> 00:22:10,775 and that weird electric guy just to steal an unstealable weather machine, 521 00:22:10,775 --> 00:22:12,643 but didn't realize that you needed a password? 522 00:22:12,643 --> 00:22:14,444 Ooh, unstealable! Try that. 523 00:22:14,478 --> 00:22:16,000 [beeping] 524 00:22:16,000 --> 00:22:17,848 [computer] Too many failed log in attempts. 525 00:22:17,882 --> 00:22:21,451 Initiating self-destruct. 526 00:22:21,484 --> 00:22:23,520 Oh, shit. 527 00:22:23,554 --> 00:22:28,554 [theme music playing]