1 00:00:13,346 --> 00:00:18,601 [Harley] Bam! Biff! Pow! Zoom! Boom! Kachow! 2 00:00:18,685 --> 00:00:20,729 Uh, these are just some of the noises you'll hear 3 00:00:20,812 --> 00:00:22,731 -when I beat your shockingly flat ass... -[grunts] 4 00:00:22,814 --> 00:00:25,608 ...if you don't spill where the hell Frank is. 5 00:00:25,692 --> 00:00:26,776 Who's Frank? 6 00:00:26,860 --> 00:00:28,319 You know damn well who Frank is, 7 00:00:28,403 --> 00:00:30,280 and you better squeal, Richie Rich. 8 00:00:30,363 --> 00:00:32,741 -You won't kill me. -Oh, and why's that? 9 00:00:32,824 --> 00:00:34,784 Dead men tell no tales. 10 00:00:34,868 --> 00:00:35,702 [sighs] 11 00:00:35,785 --> 00:00:37,162 Oh, we'll see. 12 00:00:37,245 --> 00:00:39,372 [captivating music playing] 13 00:00:46,171 --> 00:00:47,005 [scoffs] 14 00:00:48,506 --> 00:00:49,883 Ahh! Damn it! 15 00:00:49,966 --> 00:00:51,301 You don't wanna talk, huh? Huh? 16 00:00:51,384 --> 00:00:54,888 Oh, we've got ways to make you talk, pal. 17 00:00:54,971 --> 00:00:57,432 Ivy, how do we make him talk? We have tried everything. 18 00:00:57,515 --> 00:00:59,392 We need help. 19 00:00:59,476 --> 00:01:01,436 [Dr. Psycho] You know, I too used to have a temper problem. 20 00:01:01,519 --> 00:01:03,480 But with the help of Mayor Joker's 21 00:01:03,563 --> 00:01:05,815 Passions, Not Prisons reform program, 22 00:01:05,899 --> 00:01:08,485 I found an outlet for my judgmental rage, 23 00:01:08,568 --> 00:01:11,654 hosting this very self-help podcast. 24 00:01:11,738 --> 00:01:12,947 All right, next caller. 25 00:01:13,031 --> 00:01:15,575 [man] Hey, Doctor Psycho! 26 00:01:15,658 --> 00:01:18,828 Uh, first time, long time, uh... 27 00:01:18,912 --> 00:01:21,664 - My name is... Reign. -Oh. 28 00:01:21,748 --> 00:01:24,375 - And I am having a personal crisis. -Mm-hmm. 29 00:01:24,459 --> 00:01:29,756 Do I serve vengeance upon my foes in a merciless shower of death? 30 00:01:29,839 --> 00:01:34,803 -Oh. -Or do I let it go and... and buy another pasta maker? 31 00:01:34,886 --> 00:01:39,891 Well, Reign, that's a big Q, and one I will answer 32 00:01:39,974 --> 00:01:41,351 after this ad. 33 00:01:41,434 --> 00:01:43,186 -[music plays] -Folks, why should Superman 34 00:01:43,269 --> 00:01:45,438 be the only one with great underpants? 35 00:01:45,522 --> 00:01:47,732 With new LexFlex technology, Lex-- 36 00:01:47,816 --> 00:01:48,691 [glass shatters] 37 00:01:48,775 --> 00:01:50,151 Ah, Great! 38 00:01:50,235 --> 00:01:52,946 You ruined a perfectly clean ad read, you shithead! 39 00:01:53,029 --> 00:01:56,032 We'd literally come to anyone else if we could, 40 00:01:56,115 --> 00:01:58,993 but we need your help, Psycho. 41 00:01:59,077 --> 00:02:01,913 We need you, Doctor Psycho. 42 00:02:03,248 --> 00:02:04,499 I'm listening. 43 00:02:04,582 --> 00:02:06,543 [ Frasier theme-style music playing] 44 00:02:06,626 --> 00:02:08,628 [Harley] Honestly, I learned more from watching Frasier 45 00:02:08,711 --> 00:02:10,505 than I did from all of med school. 46 00:02:13,007 --> 00:02:15,301 Shark! Ey! 47 00:02:15,385 --> 00:02:16,803 -[cat meowing] -Okay, this is so embarrassing, 48 00:02:16,886 --> 00:02:19,013 but I honestly can't recall your name. 49 00:02:19,097 --> 00:02:20,515 It's Clayface. 50 00:02:20,598 --> 00:02:22,433 No, I'd remember if it's that stupid. 51 00:02:22,517 --> 00:02:26,229 [laughing] I got a client with a similar kink. 52 00:02:26,312 --> 00:02:28,940 Woo, it's not for me, but I get the broader appeal. 53 00:02:29,691 --> 00:02:31,109 Oh, hell no! 54 00:02:31,192 --> 00:02:33,987 You didn't say you wanted to go into Bruce Wayne's mind. 55 00:02:34,070 --> 00:02:36,406 He's the point-zero-one percent. 56 00:02:36,489 --> 00:02:38,116 They're the real freaks. 57 00:02:38,199 --> 00:02:39,826 Psycho, we're begging ya. 58 00:02:39,909 --> 00:02:41,494 -He stole Frank! -[grunts] 59 00:02:42,328 --> 00:02:43,830 All right, I'll do it. 60 00:02:43,913 --> 00:02:45,331 On one condition. 61 00:02:45,415 --> 00:02:46,916 I want Harley 62 00:02:47,000 --> 00:02:49,002 to guest on my pod. 63 00:02:49,085 --> 00:02:50,962 That's right! She's a real get. 64 00:02:51,045 --> 00:02:52,755 Besides, I'm getting crushed in downloads 65 00:02:52,839 --> 00:02:55,675 by Killer Croc's weepy memoir show, I need the ratings. 66 00:02:55,758 --> 00:02:58,720 Oh, I'm behind on Thick Skin. So, please no spoilers. 67 00:02:58,803 --> 00:03:00,430 All right, Quinn. You in or what? 68 00:03:00,513 --> 00:03:01,431 Yeah, whatever. 69 00:03:01,514 --> 00:03:02,599 Thank you. 70 00:03:02,682 --> 00:03:04,017 My producer Ben will be in touch. 71 00:03:04,100 --> 00:03:07,186 All right, let's do this. Assume the position. 72 00:03:07,270 --> 00:03:08,771 [rousing music plays] 73 00:03:09,939 --> 00:03:12,025 Look, I'm out of motion-sickness pills, 74 00:03:12,108 --> 00:03:14,319 so I volunteer to watch the bodies. 75 00:03:14,402 --> 00:03:17,322 All right, kids. It's showtime! 76 00:03:17,405 --> 00:03:19,157 [grunting] 77 00:03:19,240 --> 00:03:20,783 [growling] 78 00:03:20,867 --> 00:03:22,660 Ma-ma-ma-mamacita! 79 00:03:27,373 --> 00:03:29,417 [all screaming] 80 00:03:36,215 --> 00:03:39,010 -Shit, that hurts. -Where are we? 81 00:03:39,093 --> 00:03:42,639 Where is his Museum of Memories, like in my brain? 82 00:03:42,722 --> 00:03:45,725 All I see is Gotham, 83 00:03:45,808 --> 00:03:47,101 but grittier. 84 00:03:47,185 --> 00:03:49,103 Okay, where can we find his latest memories? 85 00:03:49,187 --> 00:03:50,730 Like, the most recent ones? 86 00:03:50,813 --> 00:03:52,315 I don't know. Ask them. 87 00:03:52,398 --> 00:03:53,733 [exclaims] 88 00:03:53,816 --> 00:03:55,318 [laughing] 89 00:03:55,401 --> 00:03:56,694 [grunts] 90 00:03:56,778 --> 00:03:59,405 [Clayface] Egad! It's him. The reason we came. 91 00:03:59,489 --> 00:04:01,240 -Frank? -No! 92 00:04:01,324 --> 00:04:02,784 Thomas Wayne! 93 00:04:02,867 --> 00:04:06,996 And do my eyes deceive me or has he a mustache? 94 00:04:07,080 --> 00:04:09,123 What other secrets has he been hiding? 95 00:04:09,207 --> 00:04:12,085 There is so much I can learn from watching the man I shall be portraying 96 00:04:12,168 --> 00:04:15,838 on the most important night of his life: 97 00:04:15,922 --> 00:04:18,508 his death! 98 00:04:18,591 --> 00:04:21,094 Any minute he'll walk into Crime Alley, 99 00:04:21,177 --> 00:04:24,681 and then so too will his murderer! 100 00:04:25,765 --> 00:04:26,891 Right, it's Joe Cool! 101 00:04:26,975 --> 00:04:28,476 No, that's Joe Chill. 102 00:04:28,559 --> 00:04:31,980 Joe Cool is when Snoopy wears those, like, sunglasses 103 00:04:32,063 --> 00:04:33,940 and pretends to be a college student. 104 00:04:34,023 --> 00:04:36,275 I thought Joe Cool was the camel that sold cigarettes to children. 105 00:04:36,359 --> 00:04:38,277 No, That's Joe Camel, 106 00:04:38,361 --> 00:04:40,154 -and he doesn't-- -[gunshots] 107 00:04:40,238 --> 00:04:42,031 Great. We missed it. Now they're dead. 108 00:04:42,115 --> 00:04:44,242 Too busy arguing about fucking Snoopy. 109 00:04:44,325 --> 00:04:46,327 -[Little Bruce sobbing] -Bruce! 110 00:04:48,329 --> 00:04:49,956 Where the hell is Frank? 111 00:04:50,039 --> 00:04:52,583 Ive, it's not happening. He's in a state of extreme trauma. 112 00:04:52,667 --> 00:04:55,211 I'm also a doctor, and I second everything she just said. 113 00:04:55,294 --> 00:04:58,339 [Poison Ivy] Okay, so then this memory is useless. 114 00:04:58,423 --> 00:05:01,050 We need to find a more recent one ASAP 115 00:05:01,134 --> 00:05:03,261 and then see Frank for ourselves. 116 00:05:03,344 --> 00:05:05,096 All right. Well, let's take his ride. 117 00:05:05,179 --> 00:05:06,973 [suspenseful music plays] 118 00:05:08,516 --> 00:05:10,018 Where to, Master Not-Wayne? 119 00:05:10,101 --> 00:05:13,980 Bruce's latest memory, and step on it! 120 00:05:14,063 --> 00:05:16,941 As soon as we get to the memory, we then need to-- 121 00:05:17,025 --> 00:05:19,068 -[brakes screech] -Ow! Fuck! 122 00:05:19,152 --> 00:05:21,404 We've arrived. 123 00:05:21,487 --> 00:05:23,740 Wait, what's going on here? What is this? 124 00:05:23,823 --> 00:05:24,657 Huh... 125 00:05:24,741 --> 00:05:26,409 [giggling] 126 00:05:28,494 --> 00:05:29,454 [gunshots] 127 00:05:29,537 --> 00:05:31,414 [eerie music playing] 128 00:05:32,331 --> 00:05:33,416 [gunshots] 129 00:05:38,046 --> 00:05:39,047 [Little Bruce giggling] 130 00:05:43,092 --> 00:05:45,178 [grunting playfully] 131 00:05:45,261 --> 00:05:48,473 [gunshots and giggling looping] 132 00:05:50,725 --> 00:05:52,101 So, uh... 133 00:05:52,185 --> 00:05:54,020 Oh, were his parents murdered? I'm not quite getting it. 134 00:05:54,103 --> 00:05:56,147 Could you show us a thousand more fucking times? 135 00:05:56,230 --> 00:05:57,231 [gunshots] 136 00:05:57,315 --> 00:05:59,275 Oh, man, I cannot believe 137 00:05:59,358 --> 00:06:00,777 we are being subjected to this 138 00:06:00,860 --> 00:06:02,028 multiple times. 139 00:06:02,111 --> 00:06:03,780 I've only read about this in journals. 140 00:06:03,863 --> 00:06:05,198 Yeah, but what is this? 141 00:06:05,281 --> 00:06:08,242 This is a reverse-repressed memory, 142 00:06:08,326 --> 00:06:11,829 meaning Bruce Wayne's repressed every memory in his life, 143 00:06:11,913 --> 00:06:13,289 except this one. 144 00:06:13,372 --> 00:06:14,999 He's forever stuck in a memory loop 145 00:06:15,083 --> 00:06:17,043 of his parents' murder. 146 00:06:17,126 --> 00:06:19,962 -[gunshots continue looping] -God, it's hard not to feel sorry for the kid. 147 00:06:20,046 --> 00:06:21,964 [sniffles] 148 00:06:22,048 --> 00:06:24,592 Well, guess what, I don't feel anything for him because the fucker stole Frank. 149 00:06:24,675 --> 00:06:29,138 Let's be honest, you don't really need me for this part, so uno momento. 150 00:06:29,222 --> 00:06:32,475 -Oh, Mr. Wayne. A word, perhaps? -[Little Bruce giggling] 151 00:06:32,558 --> 00:06:34,393 -Oh, Mr. Wayne! -[gunshots] 152 00:06:34,477 --> 00:06:36,229 [exclaims] 153 00:06:36,312 --> 00:06:38,815 -[gunshots] -Ugh, come on. So close. 154 00:06:38,898 --> 00:06:40,900 -[gunshots] -[Clayface exclaims] 155 00:06:40,983 --> 00:06:43,361 I was wondering if you could answer a few questions about-- 156 00:06:43,444 --> 00:06:45,113 -[gunshots] -Jesus! God! 157 00:06:45,196 --> 00:06:46,781 Thomas, help me get into character. 158 00:06:46,864 --> 00:06:49,534 How are you feeling just moments before your death? 159 00:06:49,617 --> 00:06:51,369 -My what? -[groans] 160 00:06:51,452 --> 00:06:53,496 You know what, this is my bad. You know why? 161 00:06:53,579 --> 00:06:57,750 Because I actually thought that you could be useful, you useless fuck. 162 00:06:57,834 --> 00:07:00,253 Harley, you need to deal with your woman, she's being a little-- 163 00:07:00,336 --> 00:07:01,629 [suspenseful music plays] 164 00:07:01,712 --> 00:07:02,547 Harley? 165 00:07:04,715 --> 00:07:05,633 [Harley grunts] 166 00:07:12,181 --> 00:07:14,142 Are you shitting me? [grunts] 167 00:07:17,145 --> 00:07:19,147 [grunting] 168 00:07:19,230 --> 00:07:20,690 [grunts] Oof! 169 00:07:20,773 --> 00:07:23,151 [uneasy music playing] 170 00:07:32,577 --> 00:07:34,287 Close your eyes, kid. 171 00:07:34,370 --> 00:07:36,205 -[gunshots] -[bodies thud] 172 00:07:39,208 --> 00:07:40,084 [growls] 173 00:07:41,502 --> 00:07:43,588 Why the hell did you do that? 174 00:07:43,671 --> 00:07:46,215 I thought if I stopped the kid from crying, he could help us. 175 00:07:46,299 --> 00:07:49,177 Oh, God! Didn't you learn anything from last time? 176 00:07:49,260 --> 00:07:50,887 You can't mess with a memory, 177 00:07:50,970 --> 00:07:53,222 -or else-- -[both yelp] 178 00:07:53,306 --> 00:07:56,601 [crying] I beg you, Mr. Wayne, with your final breath, 179 00:07:56,684 --> 00:08:00,730 tell me your life's motivation. What is your rosebud? 180 00:08:00,813 --> 00:08:06,819 My rosebud is... is also a... sle... 181 00:08:06,903 --> 00:08:08,154 A what? A what? 182 00:08:08,237 --> 00:08:10,865 Also, a sleee what? A what? A what? 183 00:08:10,948 --> 00:08:12,325 [yelps] 184 00:08:13,784 --> 00:08:14,785 [purring] 185 00:08:14,869 --> 00:08:16,537 -[cats yelp] -[groans] 186 00:08:16,621 --> 00:08:17,747 How'd it go? 187 00:08:17,830 --> 00:08:20,291 I must call James Gunn immediately. 188 00:08:20,917 --> 00:08:21,751 Harley? 189 00:08:22,710 --> 00:08:23,920 Harley! 190 00:08:24,003 --> 00:08:26,005 Why... Why isn't she waking up? 191 00:08:26,088 --> 00:08:28,883 We need to go back in, we need to save her right now. 192 00:08:29,759 --> 00:08:31,969 [screaming] 193 00:08:36,182 --> 00:08:37,433 Nope, it's not gonna happen. 194 00:08:37,516 --> 00:08:39,185 Bruce's brain is on lockdown, 195 00:08:39,268 --> 00:08:42,271 but his subconscious must still want Harley for something. 196 00:08:42,355 --> 00:08:45,024 The only way out now is from the inside. 197 00:08:45,107 --> 00:08:46,609 Harley is on her own. 198 00:08:46,692 --> 00:08:49,153 Oh, my God. What if... What if Joe Chill shoots her? 199 00:08:49,237 --> 00:08:51,030 Die in the head, die for real. 200 00:08:51,113 --> 00:08:52,949 The rules have stayed very consistent every time we do this. 201 00:08:53,032 --> 00:08:54,575 Please be okay, Harley. 202 00:08:54,659 --> 00:08:56,160 Please be okay. 203 00:08:57,453 --> 00:08:58,412 God, you're heavy! 204 00:08:58,496 --> 00:09:00,790 [ominous music playing] 205 00:09:02,750 --> 00:09:03,876 [growls] 206 00:09:06,712 --> 00:09:09,090 [gunshots] 207 00:09:09,173 --> 00:09:10,049 [gasps] 208 00:09:15,638 --> 00:09:17,098 Okay. I know a fun game. 209 00:09:17,181 --> 00:09:19,016 Hey! Hey, how about... How about you focus yourself 210 00:09:19,100 --> 00:09:20,893 and you try and think of a different memory. 211 00:09:20,977 --> 00:09:23,813 Preferably a happy one with, like, no murderers. 212 00:09:23,896 --> 00:09:26,816 Uh, maybe mini-golf, or how about a merry go round? 213 00:09:26,899 --> 00:09:28,484 All I see is darkness. 214 00:09:28,567 --> 00:09:31,487 Okay. Come on, kid. We're improvising. 215 00:09:32,321 --> 00:09:33,406 Ugh! 216 00:09:33,489 --> 00:09:34,323 [growls] 217 00:09:42,081 --> 00:09:43,874 -[gunshots] -[yelping] 218 00:09:45,001 --> 00:09:47,920 -Oh! -[both screaming] 219 00:09:49,880 --> 00:09:51,632 [both groan] 220 00:09:51,716 --> 00:09:53,467 Hey, you okay, kid? 221 00:09:53,551 --> 00:09:55,720 -Where are we? -The darkness. 222 00:09:55,803 --> 00:09:58,431 Yeah, so if this is gonna work, I'm gonna need ya 223 00:09:58,514 --> 00:10:01,225 to not go all creepy-kid- in-a-horror-movie on me, okay? 224 00:10:04,520 --> 00:10:07,189 -Bats are scary. -Yeah, you're telling me. 225 00:10:07,273 --> 00:10:09,608 Hey, I know you're going through a lot right now. 226 00:10:09,692 --> 00:10:12,528 But see, I got this friend named Frank that's missing, 227 00:10:12,611 --> 00:10:14,405 and I wanna make sure he's okay. 228 00:10:14,488 --> 00:10:15,948 Maybe you've seen him? 229 00:10:16,032 --> 00:10:17,533 I don't know. 230 00:10:17,616 --> 00:10:20,036 The fact that you can't even look at me kinda says you do. 231 00:10:20,119 --> 00:10:22,538 My parents told me not to talk to strangers. 232 00:10:22,621 --> 00:10:24,123 Yeah, well, they're... 233 00:10:24,206 --> 00:10:27,043 gone now, so you can trust me. 234 00:10:27,126 --> 00:10:29,295 I don't trust clowns with secrets. 235 00:10:29,378 --> 00:10:31,547 I am barely clown-themed anymore, 236 00:10:31,630 --> 00:10:33,507 I just think I look hot like this. 237 00:10:33,591 --> 00:10:36,886 I mean, check how good these bootie shorts make my ass look, right? 238 00:10:36,969 --> 00:10:38,763 Never mind, you're eight, okay. [chuckles] 239 00:10:38,846 --> 00:10:40,306 I just wanna go home. 240 00:10:40,389 --> 00:10:42,141 Hey, let's make a deal: 241 00:10:42,224 --> 00:10:46,479 if I help you get back home, will you show me where my friend is? 242 00:10:46,562 --> 00:10:49,357 There we go. See? I'm not a clown, 243 00:10:49,440 --> 00:10:50,524 I'm a friend. 244 00:10:55,279 --> 00:10:56,572 [bats chittering] 245 00:10:56,655 --> 00:10:58,741 [unnerving music playing] 246 00:11:00,493 --> 00:11:04,205 Hey, look. It's you. We must have found your memories. 247 00:11:04,288 --> 00:11:06,415 Why do we fall down, Master Bruce? 248 00:11:06,499 --> 00:11:08,417 To pick ourselves up? 249 00:11:08,501 --> 00:11:10,669 Yes. That's what I was going to say. 250 00:11:10,753 --> 00:11:13,589 Aww, look at you, you little Grumpy Gus. 251 00:11:13,673 --> 00:11:15,883 [Little Bruce] Yeah, that was at my parents' funeral. 252 00:11:16,509 --> 00:11:17,343 Oh. 253 00:11:18,969 --> 00:11:20,388 [bats squeaking] 254 00:11:20,471 --> 00:11:21,931 [dramatic music playing] 255 00:11:22,014 --> 00:11:23,849 Ugh! Always a white billionaire 256 00:11:23,933 --> 00:11:27,269 coming to a group of Himalayan monk-ninjas and forcing them to train him. 257 00:11:27,353 --> 00:11:29,605 What a dickhead. Oh, no offense. 258 00:11:32,233 --> 00:11:33,734 [Bruce] As a man, I'm flesh and blood. 259 00:11:33,818 --> 00:11:36,070 I can be ignored. I can be destroyed. 260 00:11:36,153 --> 00:11:39,949 But as a symbol, as a really cool, very gritty, super-serious symbol, 261 00:11:40,032 --> 00:11:43,285 I can be incorruptible, I can be everlasting. 262 00:11:43,369 --> 00:11:46,372 You know, you grow up to have a real savior complex. 263 00:11:46,455 --> 00:11:47,706 Who do you think you are? 264 00:11:47,790 --> 00:11:49,125 You don't sound like Bruce Wayne there. 265 00:11:49,208 --> 00:11:51,210 You sound like-- [gasps] 266 00:11:51,293 --> 00:11:53,629 Holy shit. You're... 267 00:11:53,712 --> 00:11:56,507 -I'm Batman. -[Batman theme plays] 268 00:11:56,590 --> 00:11:57,466 [gasps] 269 00:12:01,762 --> 00:12:03,139 Hmm. [tuts] 270 00:12:03,222 --> 00:12:07,101 Alfred! Are the ears too big? I think they're too big. 271 00:12:07,184 --> 00:12:08,561 How could Bruce be Batman? 272 00:12:08,644 --> 00:12:10,229 I mean, sure, he's the richest man in Gotham, 273 00:12:10,312 --> 00:12:12,148 so that explains all the vehicles. 274 00:12:12,231 --> 00:12:13,858 And he's always going missing at big galas when villains show up. 275 00:12:13,941 --> 00:12:16,318 Okay, come to think of it, it's very obvious. 276 00:12:16,402 --> 00:12:18,487 Wait till you hear who Superman is. 277 00:12:19,864 --> 00:12:21,574 Come on! 278 00:12:21,657 --> 00:12:23,909 Okay, I'm not comfortable with whatever this is. 279 00:12:23,993 --> 00:12:25,870 Look, Harley likes it when I play with her hair. 280 00:12:25,953 --> 00:12:29,582 I don't know. I'm just... At least I'm trying something, right? 281 00:12:29,665 --> 00:12:31,792 And not just playing video games in the goddamn corner. 282 00:12:31,876 --> 00:12:35,921 How dare you? Look, video games are how I deal with stress. 283 00:12:36,005 --> 00:12:38,841 If I stop playing, I'll start thinking, 284 00:12:38,924 --> 00:12:40,217 and if I start thinking, 285 00:12:40,301 --> 00:12:44,054 I will freak the-- [gasping] 286 00:12:44,138 --> 00:12:48,267 I cannot take this stress right now. I will be in my kingdom. 287 00:12:50,352 --> 00:12:51,770 What the hell was that? 288 00:12:53,939 --> 00:12:55,524 [dramatic music playing] 289 00:12:56,692 --> 00:12:58,652 [sirens wailing] 290 00:13:02,448 --> 00:13:03,949 I had a few weird years. 291 00:13:08,370 --> 00:13:10,164 I always thought Batman was a stick in the mud, 292 00:13:10,247 --> 00:13:12,291 but seeing everything you've done 293 00:13:12,374 --> 00:13:16,212 all shmushed together like that is impressive. 294 00:13:16,295 --> 00:13:18,672 And honestly, kinda inspiring. 295 00:13:18,756 --> 00:13:21,300 But, you know, if you truly wanted to help Gotham, 296 00:13:21,383 --> 00:13:23,802 why not start with affordable housing? 297 00:13:23,886 --> 00:13:25,471 People pay for housing? 298 00:13:26,430 --> 00:13:28,307 -[gun cocking] -[gasps] 299 00:13:32,269 --> 00:13:34,063 -[gasping] -Kid! 300 00:13:35,940 --> 00:13:36,982 [yelps] 301 00:13:37,858 --> 00:13:39,443 [Harley screaming] 302 00:13:42,696 --> 00:13:44,657 Holy sanitized curse word! 303 00:13:44,740 --> 00:13:46,784 [Joker chuckling] Oh, how cute. 304 00:13:46,867 --> 00:13:49,245 The songbird's afraid to swear. 305 00:13:49,328 --> 00:13:52,164 Ugh, you used to be such a fudging pill. 306 00:13:52,831 --> 00:13:53,791 Wait. 307 00:13:53,874 --> 00:13:56,001 Firework rocket, tied-up Robin, 308 00:13:56,085 --> 00:13:58,045 smell of fried Oreos and vomit. 309 00:13:58,128 --> 00:13:59,630 Oh, I remember this night! 310 00:13:59,713 --> 00:14:02,466 What should we do with Batsie's little sidekick, puddin'? 311 00:14:02,550 --> 00:14:04,426 Oh, no! 312 00:14:04,510 --> 00:14:08,180 I think we oughta teach him some manners, Mistah J. 313 00:14:08,264 --> 00:14:09,098 Ugh. 314 00:14:09,181 --> 00:14:10,599 She's just so beautiful. 315 00:14:10,683 --> 00:14:13,018 God! You put your tongue in that? 316 00:14:13,102 --> 00:14:14,645 Psycho, if you aren't here to help Harley, 317 00:14:14,728 --> 00:14:16,981 you need to get out of the goddamn house. 318 00:14:17,064 --> 00:14:19,149 Well, I'm starting to feel not welcome here, 319 00:14:19,233 --> 00:14:20,276 so fine by me. 320 00:14:22,278 --> 00:14:23,362 [both groan] 321 00:14:24,655 --> 00:14:26,615 Huzzah! We saved the movie! 322 00:14:26,699 --> 00:14:29,743 We can CGI the moustache in post. 323 00:14:29,827 --> 00:14:31,996 [sniffs] That's not good. 324 00:14:32,079 --> 00:14:33,622 [groans] 325 00:14:33,706 --> 00:14:35,791 [mysterious music plays] 326 00:14:36,917 --> 00:14:38,002 -[grunts] -[Joker chuckles] 327 00:14:38,085 --> 00:14:39,336 You're disgusting. 328 00:14:39,420 --> 00:14:40,796 All this destruction and mayhem for what? 329 00:14:40,879 --> 00:14:42,172 Do you really like that? 330 00:14:42,256 --> 00:14:45,884 Mr. J likes it. Whatever he likes, I like. 331 00:14:45,968 --> 00:14:48,345 Ugh! And the accent, oh, my God, so heavy. 332 00:14:48,429 --> 00:14:49,972 Girl, ease it down. 333 00:14:50,055 --> 00:14:53,851 -Who do you think you are? -Not you. Not anymore. 334 00:14:53,934 --> 00:14:55,728 I think Robin's lost his marbles. 335 00:14:55,811 --> 00:14:57,313 Someday you'll get with the love of your life, 336 00:14:57,396 --> 00:14:59,481 and you'll see how foolish you been all those years. 337 00:14:59,565 --> 00:15:02,151 Too bad you'll miss the wedding. 338 00:15:02,234 --> 00:15:05,070 We haven't talked about marriage yet! 339 00:15:05,154 --> 00:15:06,488 [whooshing] 340 00:15:06,572 --> 00:15:08,574 [Batman theme plays] 341 00:15:08,657 --> 00:15:11,035 Put me down for the fish. 342 00:15:12,453 --> 00:15:14,163 You're not supposed to order the fish. 343 00:15:14,246 --> 00:15:17,291 They just put it on the menu to not seem cheap. 344 00:15:18,459 --> 00:15:19,460 [Joker grunts] 345 00:15:19,543 --> 00:15:20,878 [yells] 346 00:15:20,961 --> 00:15:21,795 [grunts] 347 00:15:22,921 --> 00:15:23,756 [grunts] 348 00:15:25,507 --> 00:15:28,093 [triumphant music playing] 349 00:15:32,139 --> 00:15:34,892 Ugh. Get a room. And some self-esteem. 350 00:15:36,977 --> 00:15:38,479 [all grunting] 351 00:15:40,314 --> 00:15:43,651 Ahh! My ear! Oh, my God, that is so cruel. 352 00:15:45,944 --> 00:15:47,738 [Joker laughs] 353 00:15:47,821 --> 00:15:50,574 Hey, you never told me stopping baddies was this much fun. 354 00:15:50,658 --> 00:15:52,201 Being a hero's supposed to be lame. 355 00:15:52,284 --> 00:15:53,369 [both grunt] 356 00:15:53,452 --> 00:15:54,745 -It has its moments. -[ding] 357 00:15:54,828 --> 00:15:56,205 Costume looks good on you, Quinn. 358 00:15:56,288 --> 00:15:58,332 You don't think the shorts are too short? 359 00:15:58,415 --> 00:16:00,000 I know I like to show off a little something, but come on, this is a thong. 360 00:16:00,084 --> 00:16:01,710 -[gun cocking] -I say we skip 361 00:16:01,794 --> 00:16:03,712 to the grand finale? 362 00:16:03,796 --> 00:16:06,340 I hear it's a real bang! 363 00:16:06,423 --> 00:16:07,549 -[laughs] -[gunshot] 364 00:16:11,595 --> 00:16:12,888 [growls] 365 00:16:12,971 --> 00:16:15,432 Holy post-traumatic- stress-disorder Batman! 366 00:16:15,516 --> 00:16:18,060 He's trying to taint your memories. 367 00:16:18,143 --> 00:16:20,396 [suspenseful music playing] 368 00:16:30,406 --> 00:16:31,782 [grunts] 369 00:16:42,501 --> 00:16:44,086 [gasps] 370 00:16:44,169 --> 00:16:47,089 Do I have your verbal consent to become your licensed therapist? 371 00:16:47,172 --> 00:16:49,758 I'm gonna take that as a yes, so you can't ever sue me. 372 00:16:54,847 --> 00:16:56,140 Don't think about him. 373 00:16:56,223 --> 00:16:58,851 Close your eyes, cross your hands like this. 374 00:16:59,768 --> 00:17:00,978 You're doing great. 375 00:17:01,061 --> 00:17:03,647 Now think about somewhere you feel safe. 376 00:17:03,731 --> 00:17:06,483 A memory where you felt truly happy. 377 00:17:06,567 --> 00:17:07,943 No criminals. 378 00:17:08,026 --> 00:17:09,111 No bats. 379 00:17:09,194 --> 00:17:10,487 Just happy. 380 00:17:12,114 --> 00:17:13,323 There you go. 381 00:17:13,407 --> 00:17:15,117 Now check in with your senses. 382 00:17:15,200 --> 00:17:18,328 Think about what you're smelling. What you're hearing. 383 00:17:18,412 --> 00:17:20,789 What you're feeling. 384 00:17:20,873 --> 00:17:24,460 Incredible first session. Will you be paying this co-pay now or later? 385 00:17:24,543 --> 00:17:27,296 Yeah, rich people insurance doesn't have co-pays. 386 00:17:27,379 --> 00:17:29,506 Ahh, this country's so fucked up. 387 00:17:34,511 --> 00:17:36,597 [festive music playing] 388 00:17:40,893 --> 00:17:42,352 This is your safe space, huh? 389 00:17:42,436 --> 00:17:45,981 It's the last Christmas we had together. Before... 390 00:17:46,064 --> 00:17:47,274 Those are for Santa. 391 00:17:47,357 --> 00:17:49,109 Ah, I'll take the heat from Tim Allen. 392 00:17:49,193 --> 00:17:50,027 Mm? 393 00:17:51,779 --> 00:17:53,572 -[footsteps approaching] -[gasps] 394 00:17:53,655 --> 00:17:54,531 [fire whooshes] 395 00:17:55,699 --> 00:17:56,950 [popping] 396 00:17:58,452 --> 00:18:00,454 [sinister music playing] 397 00:18:03,707 --> 00:18:05,918 In here. 398 00:18:06,001 --> 00:18:08,712 Well, kid, unless you have your utility belt under there, 399 00:18:08,796 --> 00:18:10,464 I don't think we're getting out of this one. 400 00:18:10,547 --> 00:18:11,673 I was wrong. 401 00:18:11,757 --> 00:18:14,176 You're not scary like that other clown. 402 00:18:14,259 --> 00:18:18,347 I don't wanna lie anymore. I stole your friend. It was me. 403 00:18:18,430 --> 00:18:20,057 Frank? Yeah, I know. 404 00:18:20,140 --> 00:18:23,936 He's the key. He's the one who'll make the bad man disappear. 405 00:18:24,019 --> 00:18:25,854 Whoa, slow down. What do you mean? 406 00:18:25,938 --> 00:18:29,399 I took him first 'cause I saw Ivy was up to no good on the cameras. 407 00:18:29,483 --> 00:18:31,985 You could see us on Cat Woman's security cameras. 408 00:18:32,069 --> 00:18:33,570 Ew. You were perving? 409 00:18:33,654 --> 00:18:35,697 No, I was being a hero. 410 00:18:35,781 --> 00:18:37,199 I had to stop your plan. 411 00:18:37,282 --> 00:18:39,785 But then I realized that the plant could do more. 412 00:18:39,868 --> 00:18:44,039 It could bring mommies and daddies back from the dead. It'll fix everything. 413 00:18:44,122 --> 00:18:47,876 Frank resurrects plants, he can't bring back people. 414 00:18:47,960 --> 00:18:50,087 He can now. I changed him. 415 00:18:50,170 --> 00:18:52,089 -How? -Science? 416 00:18:53,048 --> 00:18:53,924 [door opens] 417 00:18:54,007 --> 00:18:55,384 [yelps] 418 00:18:55,467 --> 00:18:57,636 Hey, give me back the kid! [grunts] 419 00:18:57,719 --> 00:18:59,555 -[yells] -[Little Bruce grunts] 420 00:18:59,638 --> 00:19:01,390 You don't have to be afraid of him, Bruce. 421 00:19:01,473 --> 00:19:04,268 He is just another masked asshole in a city full of 'em. 422 00:19:04,351 --> 00:19:06,854 Too afraid to even show his face. 423 00:19:06,937 --> 00:19:08,272 [thunder crashes] 424 00:19:10,983 --> 00:19:15,737 Okay, I've got, like, a million questions. But mostly, what? 425 00:19:15,821 --> 00:19:17,322 He didn't tell you why I'm here? 426 00:19:17,406 --> 00:19:20,033 The reason I sit all night by the window waiting, 427 00:19:20,117 --> 00:19:22,035 begging for the Bat-Signal to appear. 428 00:19:22,119 --> 00:19:23,537 The reason I became Batman. 429 00:19:23,620 --> 00:19:25,414 Everyone knows your parents were murdered. 430 00:19:25,497 --> 00:19:28,083 It's pretty well-worn territory at this point. 431 00:19:28,166 --> 00:19:30,085 But they don't know that it was my fault. 432 00:19:30,168 --> 00:19:32,754 That night, Father wanted me to attend a shareholders meeting, 433 00:19:32,838 --> 00:19:35,465 but I begged he take us to the movies, 434 00:19:35,549 --> 00:19:37,050 The Mark of Zorro. 435 00:19:37,134 --> 00:19:39,261 I came out of that theater exhilarated, inspired, even. 436 00:19:39,344 --> 00:19:41,930 So much so I refused to take the limo back. 437 00:19:42,014 --> 00:19:44,308 I wanted us to walk home. Through Crime Alley. 438 00:19:44,391 --> 00:19:48,103 To think all this trauma from an Antonio Banderas film. 439 00:19:48,186 --> 00:19:49,771 No, that's the '90s one, 440 00:19:49,855 --> 00:19:51,607 I'm talking about the black and white-- It doesn't matter. 441 00:19:51,690 --> 00:19:55,235 Everything I do as Batman is to make that one night right. 442 00:19:55,319 --> 00:19:56,862 Yet it's never enough, 443 00:19:56,945 --> 00:19:58,739 so I must never forget. 444 00:19:58,822 --> 00:20:02,117 That is my penance. My bat-shaped cross to bear. 445 00:20:02,201 --> 00:20:04,036 Moving on doesn't mean forgetting. 446 00:20:04,119 --> 00:20:08,957 It means healing. And as your therapist, I promised to help you heal. 447 00:20:09,041 --> 00:20:12,002 Either you give up the kid so he can return to Crime Alley, 448 00:20:12,085 --> 00:20:14,338 or I shoot you dead. Your call, Quinn. 449 00:20:14,421 --> 00:20:16,298 I thought your rule was no guns. 450 00:20:16,381 --> 00:20:19,509 I mean, the real me is against it, but the mind me is flexible. 451 00:20:21,553 --> 00:20:22,512 Help me. 452 00:20:22,596 --> 00:20:23,513 I will. 453 00:20:23,597 --> 00:20:25,265 But I can't help you in here. 454 00:20:25,349 --> 00:20:28,018 I need to talk to the real you, it's too fucked up in here. 455 00:20:28,101 --> 00:20:31,063 Come on, champ. Let's go watch our parents die. 456 00:20:31,146 --> 00:20:32,314 It's what we deserve. 457 00:20:32,397 --> 00:20:35,192 Like I said, very fucked up. 458 00:20:35,275 --> 00:20:37,277 Don't tell my secret. 459 00:20:37,361 --> 00:20:39,571 Doctor-patient confidentiality. 460 00:20:40,238 --> 00:20:41,490 [whooshing] 461 00:20:43,367 --> 00:20:45,744 Oh, my God! Ive-- 462 00:20:45,827 --> 00:20:48,330 W... Were we always in Wayne Manor? 463 00:20:48,413 --> 00:20:50,040 No. 464 00:20:50,123 --> 00:20:54,419 Wayne hired those fucking latchkey Bat-kids to do his dirty work. 465 00:20:54,503 --> 00:20:58,173 Didn't even realize Batman was such a fucking sell-out. 466 00:20:58,256 --> 00:20:59,549 I know what you're gonna do! 467 00:20:59,633 --> 00:21:01,885 But, Bruce, you can't undo your trauma. 468 00:21:01,969 --> 00:21:03,178 You have to work through it. 469 00:21:03,261 --> 00:21:05,472 It's hard, and it's scary, 470 00:21:05,555 --> 00:21:07,724 but it's the best thing you'll ever do. 471 00:21:07,808 --> 00:21:08,850 I'm sorry, what? 472 00:21:08,934 --> 00:21:10,185 I think we missed something big. 473 00:21:10,269 --> 00:21:11,728 Why should I trust you? 474 00:21:11,812 --> 00:21:14,022 'Cause I promised a little boy I'd help, and I will. 475 00:21:14,106 --> 00:21:17,734 You saw everything. This is the only way out of the dark. 476 00:21:17,818 --> 00:21:20,529 Hey, Harley, what is he doing with Frank? 477 00:21:20,612 --> 00:21:21,822 He... 478 00:21:21,905 --> 00:21:23,740 He modified Frank's resurrection powers. 479 00:21:23,824 --> 00:21:25,617 He's gonna bring back his dead parents. 480 00:21:25,701 --> 00:21:29,454 -Yeah, that's not good. -Ha! A post-credit scene to my biopic. 481 00:21:29,538 --> 00:21:32,082 I mean, oh... Bad idea. 482 00:21:32,165 --> 00:21:34,042 Wait, that's... It's not possible! 483 00:21:34,126 --> 00:21:36,545 I mean, there's no way he could've-- 484 00:21:36,628 --> 00:21:39,798 Hang on. Is... I mean, is that possible? 485 00:21:39,881 --> 00:21:41,174 [lightning crackling] 486 00:21:46,138 --> 00:21:47,264 [whirring] 487 00:21:47,347 --> 00:21:49,224 [screaming] 488 00:22:03,321 --> 00:22:04,698 -You're back! -[gasps] 489 00:22:06,116 --> 00:22:08,452 [tombstones creaking] 490 00:22:13,331 --> 00:22:14,166 [growls] 491 00:22:17,711 --> 00:22:21,506 -[ Frasier theme-style music playing] -[Dr. Psycho scatting] 492 00:22:21,590 --> 00:22:23,091 [cackles] 493 00:22:23,175 --> 00:22:24,926 [continues scatting] 494 00:22:26,636 --> 00:22:28,930 ♪ Oooh, scrambled eggs♪ 495 00:22:29,014 --> 00:22:31,558 [resumes scatting] 496 00:22:31,641 --> 00:22:32,893 ♪ Dead parents!♪ 497 00:22:32,976 --> 00:22:35,145 [continues scatting] 498 00:22:37,898 --> 00:22:40,358 ♪ La, la, la, trees! Pussy! ♪ 499 00:22:40,442 --> 00:22:41,818 Goodnight, Gotham!