♪ (DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
JERYD MENCKEN: (ON TV) Sleepwalking into oblivion.
Uncontrolled migration, hyperinflation, rampant crime,
- cultural Marxism... - Here we go.
- (MENCKEN CONTINUES SPEAKING ON TV) - The 5:00 p.m.
- All good? - Yeah, I'm good, Greg,
considering it's my first post-Logan election,
and I have Cyd, uh, running around town,
spitting poison like a fucking king cobra with an iPhone.
I have, uh, PGN to the left of me,
I have FVA to the right.
I gotta deliver the best election numbers ever
'cause my bosses wanna rip my heart out
as a peace offering
- to all comers. So, no, Greg. - Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
You know, I'm a little bit tense.
Just a little bit. Little tense.
Well, yeah, I'm feeling pretty good.
♪ (THEME MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
♪ (THEME MUSIC CONCLUDES) ♪
- ♪ (DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYING) ♪ - ATN NEWS REPORTER: I got to the polling location at 11:00 a.m.,
I thought it was very odd the lines were short...
- Hey, Tom. - TOM WAMBSGANS: Hey, Ken.
You good? You feeling good?
Needs to be gangbusters tonight, man. Yeah?
TOM: Yeah, you got it. You got it.
All right, need those numbers, T.
Really wanna see those numbers, Tom, okay?
- TOM: Okay. - Market's watching.
First Super Bowl. How we gonna cope without the king? Right?
Okay, got it, Ken. All good, all good.
- Hey, Pam. How's it looking? - Uh, bit of crackle.
We have a news van in a bit of trouble in Oregon.
Things looking fighty in Milwaukee...
Did you see the viral thing about the woman,
um, who voted, like, 40 times for Jimenez
under her dead mom's name?
We tracked her down. Not super reliable.
She's not a well person.
She's... Well, you're not a doctor, Pam.
Until you qualify, why don't you get her on the air?
Oof! Long night in dress shoes?
Cyd used to go for these sort of slip-ons with a padded sock.
Yeah, probably 'cause she couldn't get her cloven hooves
into her regular shoes.
I'm perfectly comfortable, Pam. I've got good arches.
- PAM: All right. - They've been remarked upon.
DARWIN PERRY: Five p.m. exit polls, come on.
- Five p.m. - Hey, Darwin. You don't, um...
Oh, they're cool. Um, you don't--
you don't do anything special tonight, do you?
Just somebody was talking about adult diapers?
DARWIN: Oh, no, I think there's always time for the bathroom.
Fine. Okay, thanks.
(INDISTINCT CHATTER)
Okay. Excuse me. Coming through.
Coming through here. Coming through.
Hey, everybody. So, terms and conditions.
Forgive me, those of you who already know this.
You get, uh, you get some rest though?
- (DARWIN SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY) - No, no. Marital strife.
Can I hear a "Got it"?
- ALL: Got it. - Thank you. Also, what we're about to tell you...
- TOM: (QUIETLY) How was your night? - GREG HIRSCH: With Matsson?
Pretty monstrous. His crew knows some unseemly venues.
I danced with an old man.
- What? - Yeah. He didn't want to dance,
but they made us dance. He was so confused.
I drank things that aren't normally drinks.
And I... I got the impression...
Do you know about Matsson with Shiv and their sort of...
like, their-- their business alliance agreement?
Well, I'm sure I don't know what you're talking about.
GREG: Okay, I didn't think so.
Do you wanna strategize? You wanna fry her ass up?
Information, Greg.
It's like a bottle of fine wine.
You store it, you hoard it,
you save it for a special occasion.
And then you smash someone's fucking face in with it.
- Nice. - So, what we're hearing is,
and remember, this is not decisive,
what we're seeing is Mencken
may be over-performing in Georgia and Arizona.
So, our early read would be
closer than polls have suggested.
Close, but Jimenez likely edging
- on what we've seen. - Boo!
- (CHUCKLING) - DARWIN: Listen, this is privileged information.
Leaks that suppress or encourage turnout
could result in our ejection
from the National Election Pool, okay?
- (ALL MURMURING) - Yeah, you heard the man.
Zip it.
That's great.
Okay, Tom says exit polls say looks like Jimenez.
- No leaks. - (GROANS)
That's great. I mean, I got four smileys from Gil.
They think they've got it.
I have got eggplant, eggplant, flag from Mencken.
Well, two eggplants is not as much
as four smileys, obviously.
Four smileys is symptomatic of the complacency
at the heart of his out-of-touch campaign.
Eggplant, eggplant, flag reeks of the misogynistic bravado
that has so repelled the median voter.
- Huh? Hmm? - Jesus. Oh, I feel sick.
- Oh, why? It's fun. - (SHIV ROY SIGHS)
My team is playing your team.
It's only spicy 'cause if my team wins,
they're gonna shoot your team.
Okay, but what are you hearing, seriously?
Are these your vans? The Nazi vans?
The van? Oh, the-- the fun vans?
The, uh, the fun buses? Yeah.
SHIV: Yeah, in Florida, they picked people up
telling them they were taking them to vote,
and then a kid got left by the highway.
It's fucking kidnapping, Rome.
It's fucking kidnapping now? False flag. Nice try.
Kidnapping. (CHUCKLES) It's kidnapping.
- Hey! - SHIV: Lukas! Hey.
So, it's looking like Jimenez.
Which is good for democracy and great for us.
LUKAS MATSSON: Okay.
So, either way,
I think that we consider releasing your, you know,
your funky numbers, maybe tomorrow?
Day after tomorrow? Just get ahead of the numbers
and, you know, I can come up with some language.
Yeah, I was... I was talking last night to Oskar
and Gregory Peggory about that.
Uh, I'm sorry, you spoke to Greg about this?
Yeah, well, he was part of a conversation,
just as a normalist.
And, uh... And then I was wondering,
you know, maybe we...
Maybe we keep my...
my terrible secret a secret, you know?
- (CELL PHONE VIBRATES) - Okay. Uh...
Yeah, look, let me have a think about that.
I gotta... I gotta take this.
I'll-- I'll-- I'll call you back.
Nate.
How's things in Mission Control Denver?
Are you in at ATN, Shiv?
SHIV: Upstairs. Leave it to them, Dad's rules.
Well, they need to be covering the intimidation.
It's pretty dark, Shiv.
Who watches the watchmen, you know?
"Who watches the watchmen?" I fucking do.
- You getting good numbers? - NATE SOFRELLI: Good.
I'm just watching the weather. Storm clouds in Nevada.
We got people in line.
Disturbance in Wisconsin. But, uh, yeah, yeah.
Scared, but good.
Precinct data is...
Pennsylvania, Arizona could be tough.
Let's keep this channel open on all things
Matsson and me, and the new ATN, yeah?
All things good.
All right. So, Jimenez wins,
and he just waves the fucking deal through.
And then we're what?
I guess, fucking last ditch, the board?
- (CELL PHONE VIBRATES) - The shareholders?
Okay, uh, Jeryd wants face-to-face.
Okay. Me too?
Um, I doubt it. I'm asking.
Do you wanna try Gil, or maybe direct to Jimenez?
It feels kinda sweaty. Maybe I wait a day.
A day-- I-- I mean, I guess, today's the fucking day, right?
Like, today's the day the rooster puts its head in our hands.
- Today is the moment of... - (CELL PHONE VIBRATES)
...maximum leverage. Uh, yeah. Nope, it looks like just me.
It's a bit tight for both of us.
(CHUCKLES) Fuck him. All right, go, go, go.
- ROMAN ROY: I'm going. - Sure, sure.
ROMAN: Let me know what you come up with.
(CELL PHONE RINGS)
- KENDALL ROY: Hey, Rava. - RAVA ROY: Hey, listen, um,
- we... we are all okay... - Yeah?
RAVA: ...but, um, we're a bit, uh, freaked out.
There is an SUV. Well, uh, we-- we think
there's an SUV, and it's-- it's following us.
So, um, can we come to the office?
Because, uh, you have good security at the office?
What's the license plate?
- RAVA: The license is T... 3... - Is it, uh, T-- TR...
- RAVA: I can't-- - Right, 'cause it's probably...
It's probably mine. I didn't want Sophie to freak,
so I just... I just actioned it.
Are you... (SCOFFS) You're...
Oh, my God. You're having me followed
with th-- th-- this covert surveillance
to show you care? The actual fuck, Ken?
Just an extra layer of bubble wrap for her and Ivey.
Are you guys okay? You okay?
- Is she okay? - She's, um, scared, Ken. Okay?
- I'm-- (SIGHS) I am scared. - KENDALL: Rava, Rava.
- Listen, just-- - I don't know what...
There-- there is-- there is shit burning,
there is intimidation.
- I don't understand-- - Relax, okay? Relax.
Tell Sophie, I love her,
and that is why I do everything I do.
Okay, Soph? Soph, I love you, sweetie, okay?
Nothing's gonna happen.
Exit polls say Jimenez, okay?
I won't let the world push you, okay, sweetie?
- Okay. - ♪ (GENTLE MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
- ♪ (MUSIC FADES) ♪ - Ken.
KENDALL: Hey, man. Just-- just calling
to say good luck. Great numbers.
- NATE: Thanks, man. - KENDALL: And, um,
listen, apologies if-- if things got a bit heated.
A lot of shit going down.
Victory vans and shitheads kicking off in Milwaukee.
- ATN wanna cover? - Yeah, I'll-- I'll-- I'll talk,
uh, but gotta let them do their thing. But, yeah, yeah.
- NATE: Okay. - Listen, you got Daniel there?
You know, let me, uh, let me see.
(KNOCKING ON DOOR)
DANIEL JIMENEZ: Yeah, come in.
(INDISTINCT CHATTER ON TV)
NATE: Sir, are you here for Kendall Roy?
- Hey, Kendall. - Hey, Dan. Hey, man.
Good luck. Just, uh...
- Just best of luck. - Thanks, man.
- Uh, great to speak. - KENDALL: Yeah.
But, uh... But when this is over,
uh, I think there needs to be a big conversation about tech,
- is all I'd say. - Great to speak.
I'm gonna put Nate back on.
Sure. And-- and-- and may the best man
who will, you know, protect American jobs
and reign in tech and is called Daniel win,
- you know? - (CHUCKLES)
♪ (SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
Let's catch up. Have a good one, man.
Yeah, sure. Sure, man.
You know, tonight, my eye is just right here,
making sure it's fair as fuck, all right?
Have a good night, man. Stay hydrated.
♪ (MUSIC CONTINUES) ♪
- (KNOCKING ON DOOR) - (DOOR OPENS)
- Hey, come on. - ROMAN: Yep. Hell yeah.
Thank you.
ROMAN: Busy, busy. Hello, hello!
Look at you! Losing it, like a massive fucking loser.
MENCKEN: Yeah. Well, I blame you.
- Couldn't deliver Connor, huh? - Whoops.
ATN scared to run all the fraud?
ROMAN: Well, I keep my hands out, you know?
Fuck you. What is this? 'Cause, you know, I'm quite busy.
- Oh, you're busy? - Yes, I am busy.
I don't run around town like some fucking food-bike guy,
- you know? - MENCKEN: Yeah.
Just, uh, wanted to say a couple things. (CLEARS THROAT)
Yeah?
Very directly. (SIGHS)
We still think we can win.
- Sure. - But I am very focused
on losing.
- (CHUCKLES) All right. - MENCKEN: Winning is easy.
Winning would take care of itself.
- Sure. - But if I lose...
I need to work on what assholes would call "The narrative."
Uh-huh. Uh, like a "insurgent campaign,
unfairly maligned as extremist
by the coastal masturbation factories."
Exactly. If I lose,
I want it correctly characterized
as a huge victory.
- Over-performed, huh? - Mm-hmm.
I want to be the president. I want you to...
be a partner in that, and if it isn't tonight,
it will be next time.
Even if you're not going to be the president,
you're going to be our president.
Exactly. You, me, we'll go far.
ROMAN: Over the road and into the bar.
♪ (DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
GREG: So, listen, at some point tonight
could we do a chat, uh,
in terms of the-- the me of things,
- and, like, how to play it? - ♪ (MUSIC CONCLUDES) ♪
Because Matsson, he treated me quite abominably,
but it felt, like, trusting
and he was saying a lot of things, and--
Okay, okay. Enough, enough, enough.
- Where's my coffee? - (INDISTINCT CHATTER ON TV)
Tom, I don't do coffee anymore--
TOM: No, Greg!
Greg, I have to be clear. I have to.
If I get drowsy,
and I miscall Colorado, instability, right?
Then the US loses credibility,
China spots an opportunity and invades Taiwan.
Tactical nukes. Fucking shit goes kablooey
and we're back to amoeba.
It's a long way back from pond life,
'cause you failed to get me a double shot, okay?
Okay. Well, do you...
- (TOM SIGHS) - ...do you want some of what you asked for?
Um, no, I don't... I don't think so.
What do you think?
Maybe no. I me-- Election night?
- (INDISTINCT CHATTER ON TV) - (GREG HESITATES)
- Um... - GREG: Your-- your call. I mean...
Yeah, hit me. But this is not a-- not a thing.
Okay? It's not going in a book.
- It's just... Yeah, okay. - Yeah. Quick, quick.
Quick as a whistle.
(CLEARS THROAT)
(INDISTINCT ON TV)
GREG: Oh. What do we have here? What's on the,
- uh, the board? - What's on the board?
- GREG: Want it? - Thanks.
GREG: Just rubbing the board innocently.
Simply cleaning the whiteboard here.
(TOM SNIFFS)
- Okay. - Uh...
- TOM: Here you go. - No, no. Not-- not for me.
- What? - No. I'm just starting
- to feel normal from last night. - What, you'll do it with Matsson,
and not with me?
I don't want you looking all judgy all night. Come on.
No, I need a clear head, and I don't wanna get addicted
- from two nights in a row. - Shut up, Greg. Don't be Mom.
- Come on. - I don't want to, please.
Greg, it's medically good for your brain. It is.
What are you saying, all Aztecs are stupid?
Don't be a racist, little bitch about it. Come on.
- GREG: Yeah, okay. - Come on.
Don't-- What? Are you pretending?
- No, I'm-- - Are you pretending to do coke?
- Some got up. - Well, fucking do it.
- All right. (SNIFFS) - There. God!
(CLAPS HANDS) Okay.
What the fuck is that?
Oh, that. I guess they...
They were ordering some for folks,
I said why not get you one?
Bodega sushi? Are you insane?
I-- No-- That's not me, that's Samson.
- That's-- - TOM: No, not Samson, Greg!
- Not Samson, not! - ♪ (TENSE MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
I want you Gregging for me.
You're busted back down to Greg tonight.
- No! - Yeah! Tonight, my digestive system
is basically, part of the constitution, okay?
Microwaved milk and ginger shots.
American bottled water. Spaghetti and olive oil, okay?
- Okay? - GREG: Okay.
- Okay. - (CELL PHONE VIBRATES)
Hey, Con!
CONNOR ROY: Tom!
Yeah, I got this crew here.
- TOM: Uh-huh, uh-huh. - And they're filming the stuff,
but none of it is making it on the show, dude.
Is there any film in these cameras?
Yeah, I think we are... We are planning to feature, Con.
Well, no, because I'm watching.
Now, I expected to be frozen out
by all those other mooks, but you guys? Come on.
Gimme some sugar, man!
I mean, maybe everyone voted for me,
- we don't know. - WILLA FERREYRA: Schrödinger's cat.
Schrödinger's cat, Tom. Until we open the boxes,
I'm just as much President as the other two.
- Yeah? So, come on. If I do it... - TOM: Let's go. Let's go.
CONNOR: ...that's the story of all time.
Okay, well, I'll think-- I've-- I've gotta go.
But I'll see what I can do, but I've gotta go
- 'cause the polls are closing. - Yep.
TOM: Okay.
Okay, if it's gonna happen anywhere,
it's gonna happen in Kentucky.
- ♪ (MUSIC FADES) ♪ - Anything can happen.
- Anything.
- Anything can happen. - (CHUCKLES) Yeah.
So glad I didn't drop out.
It just makes an election so much more interesting,
- when you're in it. - Mm-hmm.
You gotta be in it to win it.
And it is seven o'clock on the East Coast,
which means polls have just closed
in half a dozen states.
The most closely watched states at this hour, Georgia,
with its 16 electoral votes,
and Virginia, with its 13, both key battleground states.
As of this moment, it is too early
to project a winner in either.
- WILLA: Okay. - PETER SAMPINO: But our decision desk
can announce, at this hour,
that Representative Jeryd Mencken
will defeat Governor Daniel Jimenez
- in the Commonwealth of Kentucky... - Ooh!
- SAMPINO: ...as well as in the state of Indiana.... - Okay.
SAMPINO: ...where Mencken has enjoyed a lead over Jimenez...
- Okay. - SAMPINO: ...in the pre-election polling.
TRACY LEVINGS: Governor Jimenez will win
in the state of Vermont, no big surprises there,
in the early part of the evening.
- (SIGHS) - LEVINGS: We will need to look at more data
before we can make a projection--
♪ (ORCHESTRAL MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
Hey, fuck Kentucky, Con.
- No. - Yes, fuck 'em.
No. I...
I shan't become that, no.
- Alas, Kentucky, Willa. - Mmm.
Alas, vanity.
ATN ANCHOR: Voters have made their voices heard.
This could be the most important election
in our lifetime.
- So with polls about to close... - GREG: Nope.
I told you, you can give it to me, Billy. Thank you.
- (ATN ANCHOR SPEAKING ON TV) - ♪ (MUSIC FADES) ♪
PAM: As we heat up, Tom,
uh, how much do you want to give to...
(SIGHS) Fair bit of intimidation.
His folks and ours.
So, like, fire in Wisconsin, in Milwaukee, could be nasty.
Could be electrical failure. Might be Menckenists.
"Camera smashed, crew harassed in Portland."
- That's them. - Uh, I trust you.
ATN ANCHOR: ...all of these counties here.
Uh, again, a little, uh, board malfunction here.
- What's he doing? What's this? - ATN ANCHOR: But we'll be right back on it in a second...
- Hey, Pam? What's going on? - Hold-- hold on.
- The-- the touchscreen. - Hold on, we're checking it out.
What's happening with the touchscreen?
- Tell him to stop touching the touchscreen! - We have a replacement--
- TOM: The touchscreen is malfunctioning! - It's fine, it's fine.
It's not fine! You can see that it's not fine!
- We have a replacement on the way. - It's malfunctioning! Fuck!
♪ (DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
Touchscreen's malfunctioning!
ATN ANCHOR: And we're gonna zoom in.
Right where we can see, right here, having a...
The board seems to be acting up.
What's going on with the touchscreen?
The touchscreen is malfunctioning!
What's going on? What the fuck is going on?
Right, we're on it. Uh, graphics generator just--
- It-- it shat the bed. - TOM: What?
DAVE: Where is my touchscreen?
- Don't-- You're losing it, Dave. - DAVE: Find me a desk.
Don't lose it, Dave. Don't lose it tonight, Dave!
SAMPINO: It is now 9:00 p.m. on the East Coast.
- Okay, can we get an ETA... - Hello?
KENDALL: What the fuck's going on with the touchscreen, Tom?
I'm on it, I'm all over it.
You're not on it. Fucking get on it.
Figure it out, yeah?
- Figure it out. Now! - (OVERLAPPING CHATTER)
Hey, it's happening. Ken, it's happening.
KENDALL: We're about to get a new batch, Greg,
and if we drop numbers now, I'm gonna come down there
and put your fucking head through that touchscreen.
- GREG: It's all in motion. - Fix it, fix it, fix it.
- No need to catastrophize. - Where's the touchscreen, Pam?
- Is it loading up? - It's loaded up.
Well, get it on air! Get the new one on air.
We're gonna be hemorrhaging. We're gonna be a laughingstock.
We're on it, Tom. No one will notice, okay?
We've done this before.
we have three, and they're all lined up.
No one will notice? I noticed.
Am I no one? Do I look like no one? Huh?
Do I?
KENDALL: How the fuck are we behind social media on this?
All right, we need to be leading this.
- SHIV: Hey, Tom? - TOM: Hello?
You got this fire in Wisconsin. You-- you-- you got this?
Uh, yes, I think we... Yes, I think we have that, yeah.
- Electrical. - Why aren't we covering, Tom?
Um, well, because we always have to choose what to focus on.
And just because something is on fire doesn't make it news.
- Uh, electrical failure? - NATE: Not what we hear.
No. It's-- it's-- it's not what Nate hears, Tom.
Well, bully for Nate.
- NATE: Hey, Tom. - TOM: Hey, Nate.
We need to be all over this, Tom.
Uh, yeah. I-- Okay, I just think it's important to, um,
to keep our unique perspective
because we are getting conflicting reporting.
Oh, what about the actual photos
I can see of it happening on my fucking phone?
Look, there are-- there are many, many things happening
in this nation right now.
Uh, there are a million data points,
and we-- we have to select the ones that are consequential.
If these nutjobs are going paramilitary,
- we can say that. - Yeah.
TOM: Uh-huh. Yes, we just need to respect our viewership.
By not telling them anything they don't want to hear?
You guys get this about the Antifa firebombing
in Milwaukee?
NATE: No. Uh, we-- we hear it's his people, Mencken's.
(BLOWS RASPBERRY)
Okay, when it becomes a story, then we'll run the story.
Well, this is happening in, what,
- a vote counting center? So... - Yeah. It's a story, Tom.
- It's a story. - I'm on it.
- Do not micromanage me, please. - Tom!
- Yes? Yes? - Tom! They're evacuating.
We've got a local chopper up and a reporter on the way.
Okay. Uh, guys, I've got to manage this.
I'm gonna-- I'm-- I'll keep you looped, yeah?
- Talk to Greg, yeah? - Oh.
Yeah, hey, hey.
Uh, happy to keep you
- fully abreast here. - We're not talking to Greg.
- GREG: I can be your link-up guy. - No. What the fuck?
KENDALL: Amateur hour down there.
Uh, okay. So, if it happened in Milwaukee,
and if it's deliberate, then it's Menckenists?
Mmm. False flag. Could be.
You can't just say "false flag" every time
- you don't fucking agree with something. - ROMAN: False flag. False flag.
- (GROANS) - KENDALL: Okay, guys.
SAMPINO: We want to report about a fire in Milwaukee,
initially thought to have been caused by an electrical failure.
But now there are claims and some counterclaims
being made by groups who were protesting
- alleged voting irregularities. - SHIV: Hey.
Okay, well, do you know if any of the ballots
- are intact? - NATE: It doesn't look likely.
Where are you at?
Depends how many votes have gone.
- But ballots have been lost? - Oh, yeah.
We're chartering flights to Milwaukee.
A ton of number-crunching by our analytics team.
We're trying to check the Milwaukee County voter rolls
to see who's voted so far, but, uh...
Listen, can you help with the narrative?
- ♪ (TENSE MUSIC PLAYING) ♪ - ROMAN: Oh, yeah.
Uh, okay, well, have you got all the bodies that you need?
Yeah. Yeah, we have bodies. We have a SWAT team on it,
they're interfacing with the Wisconsin team.
(ROMAN GROANS)
GREG: Apparently, he's just touching
too hard for it.
- He's touching with... - What?
What? No. Rome?
Roman, no brass on the battlefield, okay?
That's one of Logan's Geneva conventions.
- Please, please. - Just a pop-in. What's going on?
They evacuated the count center?
No, I don't know, I just lost another touchscreen.
I'm down to my last fucking touchscreen, okay?
- SHIV: What's going on? - ROMAN: Oh, nothing.
Tom just thinks that China's hacking his tech.
I do not, but I do think
you would be more comfortable upstairs.
- What? - Greg? Will you please, uh...
- GREG: Oh, yes. - Will you please help them upstairs?
Yeah, guys, do you mind if I wrangle...
Hello? Tom?
- Hello, Siobhan. - GREG: Can I just wrangle...
- Wrangle? Stop saying wrangle. - SHIV: Yeah. Are the ballots still in there?
- Okay, where-- where are we? - SHIV: What's going on?
- Tom, can you catch us up? - Greg, will you please, uh, take the VIPs
- to a, uh, upstairs setting? - GREG: Yes. I-- I--
- PAM: Tom! - Can I grab the three of you and just--
- (OVERLAPPING CHATTER) - Tom!
- TOM: Yes? - Reporter on the way.
- Uh, three, four out. - Okay. All right, all right.
- SHIV: Uh, Tom? - Yes?
- (ROMAN SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY) - Can I-- can I have a word?
GREG: (SIGHS) I... This is--
- I really-- I really can't. - This won't take long, Tom. Just...
I know, but just let me-- Okay, I just...
Can you please? I just wanted to apologize
for some of the things that I said last night, okay?
- Okay. Okay. - SHIV: And to...
you know, give you an opportunity to...
- TOM: Uh-huh? - ...re... Okay.
Well, I can't do it to that. So...
- (SIGHS) - How should I frame my face?
Huh? You scared that I'm gonna blab
about you and Matsson?
SHIV: Jesus fucking Christ,
- Tom. - What?
My father just died, yeah?
- My-- Like-- - TOM: Yeah.
My father just died.
So maybe, you know, I could get a little
consideration on that and for, you know, a number of reasons
I've been feeling off-kilter, so... I'm sorry,
- but can I get a modicum of-- - Sure, sure.
- What does that mean? - TOM: Sure.
"Sure."
It means you hated him, Siobhan.
I didn't hate him. I loved him.
Well, it was complicated,
but sometimes you certainly hated him,
and-- and you also sort of killed him.
Uh... Wow!
- What the--
- Sort of. - SHIV: Oh, yeah. "Sort of."
That's the part that I'm gonna remember, thanks.
No, thank you. Okay, you know what?
Actually, also, I'm pregnant. Yeah? By you.
And there's-- there's never a good time to say it,
but you need to know. So, okay.
- Now you know. - TOM: Right. Right.
- (SHIV EXHALES SHAKILY) - Is...
that even true?
What?
Like, is that even true, or is that like a new position
or a tactic? Or what?
What? (BREATHES DEEPLY)
♪ (GENTLE MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
Um, okay.
(TOM SIGHS)
So, we have an area. I guess, we-- Is it upstairs?
- Yeah, it's just-- - You okay?
Yeah. Uh-huh, yep.
I'm, uh... Look, I think things are tough.
♪ (MUSIC FADES) ♪
With-- with my situation and Tom,
- uh, but-- - You want us to have him killed?
- Uh... - We could do that.
Yeah, maybe. (CHUCKLES)
- I mean, I think... - Okay.
You know, he's just...
He's just a piece of filth, and there's stuff
I would like to tell you, but, uh...
Hey, I've been trying to get them to move.
Not in an aggressive way, but...
If...
Yeah, I mean, you just can't trust him.
Yeah, we got you.
ATN REPORTER: In terms of the fire,
- it is still burning. - Thanks.
ATN REPORTER: And crews are struggling to contain,
let alone extinguish.
Now, are there any reports so far of injuries?
None for now, fortunately.
The building was evacuated immediately
and all workers have been accounted for.
Well, I'm gonna sneak... now that we're all in here.
There's a lot of confusion here right now. It looks like...
- KENDALL: Who's responsible? - ...all ballots have been received here.
That's the story, right? Who burnt this place down?
Uh, to me, it always comes down
to a couple of old favorites, the Blacks or the Jews.
- I'm kidding. It's a fucking joke. - Would you, please? Please?
- Got it. - (CELL PHONE VIBRATES)
- All right. Here. Shiv. Just follow me. - Hey, Connor.
- Follow me. - Rome.
Um, Jeryd isn't picking up.
ROMAN: Uh-huh. Yeah.
I-- I wonder if it's a busy night for him?
Um, because I wondered
if what we talked about might still be on offer?
Ambassadorship-wise?
Uh, yeah. Well, that was kind of a yesterday offer, Connor.
You know if he doesn't make this,
you're gonna be partially fucking responsible,
- I hope you're cool with that. - CONNOR: Rome.
I spent like a hundred mil here.
- (SCOFFS) - Couldn't I get a sniff
of even a little guy?
Organize a little coup, down in old Peru?
Put me in a van to Tajikistan?
Couldn't I just be our fun guy in Uruguay?
ROMAN: Your rhymes are compelling. But what's in it for him, Con?
Oh, maybe just one of the finest political operators
of his generation sorting shit out?
ROMAN: Okay, yeah, I'll, uh... I'll get back to you.
Just this one.
HAMILTON: Every four years, in fact.
It's probably going to come down
to a handful of states, like Wisconsin, Ohio,
Pennsylvania, Georgia, and Arizona.
Ignore the narratives early on,
and just realize
that we're going to be in for a dog fight,
for a late night in those last couple of states.
It is 11:00 p.m. on the East Coast.
- SHIV: Uh-huh. - Polls have just closed
in four more key states.
- Okay, thanks. - LEVINGS: The ATN decision desk can now project...
Uh... So, under state law, the vote can't be certified
until the absentee ballots are counted.
So, no Wisconsin result is valid
until the absentee ballots are counted.
Okay. And how does Daniel feel?
Confident, but terrified. (CHUCKLES)
I don't know, is there-- is there a name
for that feeling? Cuspy?
- Hey. Yeah. - SHIV: Rome. So, under Wisconsin law,
- the vote can't be certified-- - Mencken says we're done. Wisconsin's done.
- That's their position. - But... (SCOFFS) Well, no.
There's like 100,000 absentee Milwaukee ballots missing.
So we have to figure out a way to go forward
- knowing that information-- - Go forward to undermine Mencken's lead?
Does he have a lead?
- I mean, is-- is that right? - Yep, yes.
- SHIV: Uh, an artificial lead. - Mmm.
With 100,000 Milwaukee absentee ballots missing.
Every vote must be counted.
- Eh. - KENDALL: I think she's right.
- What? - ROMAN: Hmm, well--
- I think she's right, Rome. - ROMAN: Well, yeah, okay.
But we-- we-- we can count the votes that we have.
However, unfortunately, some are lost. So...
SHIV: "Unfortunately, some are lost?"
- Yep. - Meaning, what? Fascist fuckheads burnt them.
ROMAN: We literally do not know that.
It could very easily be your fucks, they love fires.
You're making hay for political violence.
ROMAN: Or your guys knew they were going to lose,
so they did something crazy to throw it into question
- and get a revote. - You don't believe that.
Yeah, maybe I do. I don't know.
Okay. Well, Jimenez
is gonna take Pennsylvania, Michigan, and Arizona.
So I don't know why you're getting so fucking uppity
- about this shit. - Why are you getting so uppity
about this shit if you're so confident?
Because if Mencken wins, it's the end of the world, okay?
So I'd like a little fucking cushion.
Can we get fucking real? Jimenez won't block the GoJo deal.
So fuck the guy, right?
Well, who knows? Maybe he would. And that's not...
(LAUGHING) We cannot let that be the thing that's...
That's not the thing, right? Ken?
(INDISTINCT CHATTER ON TV)
- SHIV: Uh... - I don't know.
- Ken. - KENDALL: I don't know.
No, don't-- don't get cynical.
It's-- it's not-- not cynical. No. It's just...
what's happening is happening. Uh, I'm a realist.
Oh, yeah. Says the man who'd cut his son's throat
and then eat him on the high pass.
- Jesus fucking Christ. - We can all say nasty shit, Shiv.
- (DOOR OPENS) - Hey, so, uh, FVA is saying
they have enough vote reported to call Wisconsin.
So, Freedom Voice America and VeraNews are calling it.
- Great, the maniacs. - ROMAN: Okay. Wow.
Well, can't get out-flanked and we need to be fast.
So I think we should call it, right?
(OVERLAPPING CHATTER)
- Hold on, hold on! - No, no, no, no, no, no.
Tom, what-- what is like an independent...
Can-- can you get us
- Decision Desk Darwin? - Yes. Yep.
I want to say a few words about the emerging situation
in Milwaukee.
- A situation the American... - (HUGO BAKER SIGHS)
...people are watching with increasing concern.
We have a process.
- And it is sacrosanct... - "Respect the process.
Count every vote."
I mean, he's so fucking dull.
Flop your dick out, pop a nut. Do something!
...that decision will have no legitimacy
if it does not account for all the ballots cast.
Okay, Dar. Thank you. And we have some thoughts
and some questions. And--
Thank you, Darwin. Do you have a result
- as it stands in Wisconsin? - (DOOR CLOSES)
- Uh, we've tallied the vote total so far. - KENDALL: Okay.
- ROMAN: Yeah. Uh-huh. And? - Margin for Mencken
is significant.
It couldn't be made up by outstanding existing
uncounted votes, only the ones destroyed.
Okay, and we're not waiting for burned votes, so we call it.
- No, I-- I think-- - ROMAN: Right?
I think they have to hold it again. No?
Like, a-- a revote?
DARWIN: Uh, I would say a revote is incredibly rare and complex
because, while we theoretically know everyone
who requested an absentee ballot,
we don't entirely know how many turned them in,
and there's nothing in Wisconsin law
that really covers what to do.
Exactly. You can't do it. Boom!
- Mencken. Thank you. - DARWIN: But, of course,
we think, um, we... The team knows...
We know how the missing votes
- would have broken down. - ROMAN: What? They're gone.
There's no way to know what was on those ballots.
- Well, we-- we do know. Because in past elections... - ROMAN: Mm, no.
- Milwaukee overwhelmingly votes Democrat. - You know what might be on them,
but you don't actually know.
Sure. I just, basically, do know.
- We do know. - ROMAN: Because you're so plugged in,
you know how all the little peasants vote,
what's in their hearts? 'Cause you don't know.
Rome, come on. This is the grown-ups table, be serious.
This is serious. Ballots get lost every election.
You can't get burnt ballots back.
Bullshit. Just bullshit.
- Bullshit, bullshit, bullshit. - ROMAN: You're bullshit. It's not bullshit.
- Full of fucking bullshit. - TOM: Shiv? Shiv?
- What? - You sound a little unhinged.
You fucking watch it, Tom.
- DARWIN: We do know. - ROMAN: Okay, okay.
There's no way to say in here how people would have voted.
I mean, you wanna just run your model
and not bother with all the people?
We're saying, historically, people overwhelmingly--
ROMAN: Historically, people used to burn witches.
- Are you saying we should do that? - What the fuck?
"Burn witches"? Rome! Look, we just know
that the fire would have destroyed
a lot of Jimenez ballots.
Oh, so, "Fire favors GOP," claims mad witch?
- We just know. - ROMAN: Okay. Well, we're not gonna rerun the election,
and if the Right gets wrongly blamed for this,
what would that do? If the Left does?
- Could get nasty. - SHIV: Where are you going?
I am going to the bathroom to shit.
Would you like me to livestream it?
HAMILTON: (ON TV) We're going to be in for a dog fight, for a late night...
Ken, you wanna weigh in?
SAMPINO: And Mark Ravenhead has some thoughts
about what we've been seeing so far tonight...
- I just think it's hard. - But we know. We just do.
That if the lost votes were counted,
Jimenez would take the state.
Mark is commenting directly, ATN voice.
...professional politicos who, time after time,
come up with, isn't this funny,
with polls which undercount support for traditional values.
So, yeah, maybe some of the crazies
heard they were underperforming
and decided to stop the counting and destroy the evidence.
And so, yeah, "You just stay quiet."
- Roman sent talking points. - Oh.
MARK RAVENHEAD: "We'll guess what we think was on those ballots.
- We'll decide," yeah? - KENDALL: Is he down there?
- RAVENHEAD: They know best, right? - SHIV: Fuck's sake, Rome.
And you'll eat what's for dinner
because they don't really care for folks who answer back
- or ask too many questions. - GREG: Should I...
Shut up!
Innumerate residuum!
We'll figure it out,
and issue you with your new government
to march into your homes and take whatever we want
in the way of your mechanisms of self-defense,
and tell your son she's actually your daughter,
or the other way around, and then...
GREG: Hey, Shiv, do you mind actually not going on the floor?
RAVENHEAD: "It's all just peachy." Even though it doesn't feel so peachy...
- GREG: Shiv? - RAVENHEAD: ...that you can't go out at night,
and the new president is opening up his borders
- to his friends, yeah... - Bullshit.
Bullshit, Roman, fuck you.
It's obvious that we need to be smarter than this, better than this.
We need a fucking opposing viewpoint.
- ♪ (TENSE MUSIC PLAYING) ♪ - (ATN ANCHOR SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY)
GREG: Could you call security for me?
Sorry, you can't come down here. It's-- it's not me, it's just...
Hey, Lukas.
What the fuck is going on?
Uh, yeah, great fucking question.
ROMAN: Powerful commentary, huh?
I don't feel good, necessarily, about this, Rome.
Shucks!
(ATN ANCHOR SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY)
LUKAS: Is it okay? Do I need to hustle?
Do I need to get ready to be cozy
with this fucking Mr. Scary?
No. No, I can handle. I can handle it.
Yeah, 'cause Greg tells me it's getting kinda hairy in there.
SHIV: Mm-hmm.
Don't let them break my toy, Shiv, okay?
No. All good. I'll be in touch.
Sorry, we just need you off the floor, if that's okay.
Yeah, got a minute?
RAVENHEAD: (LAUGHING) And now, apparently,
the Democrats are accusing this fire of being biased.
That's right. Yeah, that sounds
pretty much something out of their camp.
"It only burnt Democratic votes."
Yeah? You know, it's one of those--
it's one of those picky fires. (LAUGHS)
♪ (MUSIC FADES) ♪
- Come on in. - Yeah.
- So... - Yeah, just wanted to check in.
- You know? It's been busy. So... - Right. Yeah, on election day.
SHIV: Yeah.
Yeah. So, how was your night, last night, with Lukas?
Shiv, I... I went for a drink with him.
- That-- that's not my fault. - SHIV: Uh-huh.
Do you find me attractive, Gregory?
I don't think of things such as that.
Oh. Oh, I thought you were a "disgusting brother."
Is that-- Was that too disgusting for you?
This is not appropriate. (CHUCKLES)
- It's... - SHIV: Uh-huh.
Yeah, I, uh... I'm... Sorry, I don't--
'Cause I'm just letting you know...
that if you try to fuck me...
I'll kill you.
- Mm-hmm? - Mm-hmm, got it.
Got it. Sorry, yeah.
I guess my-- my only question...
would be, if-- if anything did come to pass,
in terms of you and he...
- you know, silence is golden. - SHIV: Hmm.
Like how golden?
- SHIV: Uh-huh. - GREG: Is there an offer?
Yeah. Uh, yeah.
How about I offer for you to keep all your internal organs
on your insides, rather than I pull them out your asshole?
♪ (TENSE MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
- (DOOR OPENS) - SHIV: Go on. You're lumber.
Keep your snout out.
Simultaneously destroying diversity of opinion
- wherever possible... - (DOOR OPENING)
Hey, guess what?
Mencken will block the deal. (CHUCKLES)
Straight up. He'll kill it.
If he wins, he'll refer it to FTC.
Whatever, new law, foreign ownership tightening.
Whatever, he'll screw it up. In exchange...
for our support tonight.
- In, like-- in so many words? - In those words.
Shall I get Tom? Shall I get the human abacus?
Shall I? Let's do it.
This is good news.
♪ (NEWS THEME PLAYING ON TV) ♪
ROMAN: Hey, hey.
- TOM: Hey. - So, uh, thanks for, uh...
Whatever. Uh, we have the votes. So...
Can't rerun fairly
and can't let lefty terrorism affect us, so let's call it.
On what precedent? By-- by what authority?
Uh, by the power of me, the CEO of Waystar,
telling you what to put on the telly-box mouth-people.
DARWIN: Uh... (CHUCKLES)
I don't think we can do that, guys.
I think we can do it, Dar.
If we call it, and the-- the-- the others
- went his way-- - ROMAN: Right, well, look.
There are still outstanding states.
There's Michigan, Ohio, Georgia, Arizona.
It's really not that big a deal. It's one state.
I'm worried it's not a decision
- that I could necessarily-- - ROMAN: Uh-huh. Yeah, thank you.
And everyone respects you, Darwin,
but this isn't actually a numbers thing.
I mean, the Wisconsin Elections Commission,
the Milwaukee Election Commission
will go to court and the camps will litigate it.
- ROMAN: Mm-hmm. - And it'll be a jurisdiction fight
that I think Mencken might shade,
- but, you know, we can't-- - Yeah, that's-- that's great.
Uh, but I'm just gonna say we're good and that's on me.
The votes that exist have been tallied,
and that gives Mencken the state.
But you don't-- you don't make the call. I make the call.
We're gonna make the call together, Tom--
You can't make the call until I make the call.
ROMAN: Okay. So-- and I'm not gonna make you do anything.
This is the situation in Wisconsin.
How would you feel if we were to not "call it" call it,
but, um...
TOM: Like, pending. We could call it pending.
ROMAN: You could even explain it.
We can get a camera on you to explain it to people.
PGN ANCHOR: We had a number of Jimenez campaign surrogates over the last week,
sounding the alarm about the lack of turnout
- of Black and Latino voters... - I could explain.
And could there be a graphic that makes it clear
the call isn't a...
"call" call?
"Pending call."
DARWIN: Okay, okay.
- Uh... - Mm! Sorry.
DARWIN: (SOFTLY) Okay.
- All right, so... - ROMAN: Yeah?
- DARWIN: Okay. - ROMAN: Satisfied, fucky fucks?
- Okay. - Soon as we can.
- ROMAN: Great. - Uh... (EXHALES HEAVILY)
- What's up? - (GROANS)
- ROMAN: You okay? What? - (DARWIN GROANS)
There's something in my eyes. Um...
- (INHALES SHARPLY, GROANS) - TOM: Greg? Wasabi.
Is it wasabi? There's wasabi in my eyes?
- I've got wasabi in my eyes? - ROMAN: Oh, Jesus.
Wait, wait, wait, hold on.
(DARWIN MOANS IN PAIN)
No, it's gone more in. It's gone more in.
- What's going on? - It's on my fingers.
- SHIV: What's going on? - (OVERLAPPING CHATTER)
- What did you do to him? - (GROANS) It stings!
- GREG: What? - TOM: Get some water or something, Greg!
(GROANS) Holy mother! Mother of God.
- Fuck me slowly, this smarts. - GREG: Okay.
Quick Greg, put water in it. Put water in--
(GROANS)
- It's washing it in! - TOM: That's lemon!
It's lemon, Greg!
- That's clear. It's La Croix! - Jesus! Fuck, Greg.
- What are you doing? - ROMAN: Oh, come on.
- It's lemony, Greg. It's lemony! - GREG: It's La Croix!
Jesus H. Christ!
- GREG: No, it's natural! Like, medical! - TOM: Get some tissues, man.
DARWIN: (GROANS) Give it to me. Oh, my God.
It's not that lemony! It's just a hint of lemon.
- Darwin? You good to call it? - (PANTING)
He can't fucking call it, Rome.
We're calling it, Shiv.
- He just called it, okay? - ROMAN: Great. Thanks.
Greg, do not put any more lemon water,
or wasabi, in his eyes, okay?
(WILLA AND CONNOR TALKING QUIETLY)
Hey, Con, you shouldn't really be in here.
And a very good evening to you, too.
- Hey! Presidente. Sike! - CONNOR: Rome. Sweetheart. One sec.
Would you wait over here for me a second, baby?
- Uh, sure. - Fellas, would you wait over here for me a second?
- Yeah. Yep? Mm-hmm? - Rome. One thought.
How about I concede
in his direction?
I scratch his balls, he scratches mine?
That's interesting. Uh, perhaps-ish.
- Let me check on that, yeah. - CONNOR: "Perhaps-ish"?
- Perhaps-ish, yeah. Come on. - I'm coming.
- ANCHOR: (ON TV) Seventeen electoral votes... - TOM: Pam?
We're calling, uh, Wisconsin for Mencken.
Get the graphics up.
Dave, let them know we're five out
- from calling Wisconsin. - All right.
We are calling Wisconsin for Mencken.
Five minutes. Is that graphic ready?
There is a big ol' call to make right now,
and that is ATN is projecting that Jeryd Mencken
- has won the state of Wisconsin. - ♪ (TENSE MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
SAMPINO: You know, we've been reporting on that fire
in the Milwaukee vote count center.
Nonetheless, our decision desk
is confident in making this call.
Jeryd Mencken has won the state of Wisconsin,
and there goes the blue wall. That's ten electoral votes, that
- brings Mencken up to 246... - (CELL PHONE VIBRATES)
Okay, man. Okay. There's something there.
Sordid backseat fuck job.
CONNOR: Oh, tell me more.
ROMAN: He wants to keep up the momentum.
ATN ANCHOR: Jeryd Mencken is now 24 electoral votes away
from winning the presidency.
Do you really wanna?
Slovenia, Willa.
Mm-hmm.
I mean, I am torn, and he's very, uh, right-wing.
But Vienna for lunch, Venice for dinner.
And Dubrovnik for breakfast.
CONNOR: (ON TV) My fellow Americans,
it's becoming clear tonight, that as far as we can tell,
Mr. Jeryd Mencken will likely be
the next president of the United States.
- KARL MULLER: Yes. - HUGO BAKER: Mm-hmm.
- And I, for one, wish him well. - Connor was running for president?
- (LAUGHTER) - CONNOR: For although I set out a clear and compelling path...
- KARL: Okay, all right. - CONNOR: ...America, in her divine wisdom,
has chosen to take another.
Well, good luck. And...
I'd like to say to my first running mate,
who I will not dignify with a name-check,
but had that woman not dropped out,
and then had I not had to replace her
with another figure,
who turned out not to be able to bear the weight
of public scrutiny,
had I not been betrayed by those two jackrabbits,
who knows?
Politics of envy. Ugly game.
I happen to be a billionaire.
Sorry.
But honestly, America, you flunked it.
I guess you're gonna have to find
some other poor mook's paps to suckle on.
- Okay. - The corrupt bipartisan
- system zombie marches on. - All right.
And so I call out to my friends tonight,
to my people.
I say, Conheads, I salute you. And, America, be afraid.
Be warned...
for the Conheads are coming.
Thank you. God bless America.
ATN decision desk is now projecting
Daniel Jimenez has won the state of Michigan
- over Jeryd Mencken. - Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
That's 15 electoral votes. Our tally now goes...
- Are you ready for this? - All right, all right.
Two-hundred-and-sixty-two for Mencken,
- and 262 for Daniel Jimenez. - HAMILTON: A dead heat.
SAMPINO: Polls will be closing soon in Alaska,
the only state yet to be called other than Arizona
and its 11 electoral votes.
LEVINGS: Let's maybe go harass the decision desk about what's
- taking so long for Arizona. - Guys. Uh, just a heads-up.
We hear... We are getting it from the campaigns
that the data nerds
are hearing that... Well, Dar, you say.
So, uh, Arizona is gonna go red.
ROMAN: All right, well then that's, uh...
- That would be it, right? - I mean, we're--
we're kind of boxed in, uh, because of Wisconsin.
Uh, I mean, I-- I don't feel comfortable calling it.
I mean, PGN is gonna be calling it. Right, Tom?
- TOM: Yeah... - ROMAN: I mean, they're going to call Arizona.
Because if we call it, because of Wisconsin, we...
we called Wisconsin "pending," so--
Yeah, we already called Wisconsin, okay?
We can't un-call Wisconsin, can we?
That would make us all look pretty unprofessional.
So, Arizona?
- We're calling the election? - Yeah.
- KENDALL: No, no. - No?
- No. - ROMAN: It's math, dude.
Tom, will you guys give us a minute, please?
- Fuck. (CHUCKLES) - TOM: Sure, okay.
ROMAN: One minute. Be back in one minute, please.
- What? - (DOOR CLOSES)
- That's it. That's it. - KENDALL: I don't know, Rome.
Like, maybe-- maybe we...
revisit Wisconsin.
- Okay. (CHUCKLES) - KENDALL: Because, yeah, we... I mean, we...
- That was... kind of... - Mm-hmm. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- Right? - Okay, I get it.
No, you're gonna, like, big brother it right now.
- That's what you're gonna do? - No.
- Like what? - Oh, like when, you know,
if you want roast chicken and I wanted steak,
we always had chicken.
Because you'd-- you'd freak out. You'd tantrum.
- So they thought-- - I would fucking tantrum
because I never had fucking steak.
Well, I think they got scared if...
you know, if you tantrumed, then you'd think you'd won,
- so they couldn't let you-- - I never won.
It was always fucking chicken.
So, because we had so much chicken when we were kids,
- I have to like the fascist? - Yeah. (CHUCKLES)
If we don't call it early
and he wins anyway, which is perfectly possible,
but without us tonight? Think about that.
With FVA and VeraNews backing him,
we're left the most dickless eunuchs in cuck town.
- We call it? We call this? - ROMAN: Mm-hmm.
- KENDALL: If we push it... - Yeah?
...maybe it happens.
Yeah. We give it to Mencken, Mencken blocks the deal.
He's not fucking wishy-washy. He's a guy.
(SIGHS) I don't know, dude. I mean...
ANCHOR (ON TV): Exactly. All of the mainstream media. All of the Democrats...
My kids.
- The whole thing. - "Oh, America! Oh."
Well, I mean, it is kind of a nice idea, you know?
All the different people together.
(CHUCKLES) What? All right. What-- what would Dad do?
- Oh, come on. - I don't know. I don't actually know.
Yes, you fucking do, man!
The guy in the pocket.
The guy that's gonna answer our calls.
The fucking guy printing US dollars.
This is all upside.
Apart from the matter of him smashing the country to pieces.
Oh, God! Don't be such a fucking prissy...
Okay, maybe we could deal with a dose of that, right?
Like a nice little dose of the frighteners?
Wind shit back 20?
You know one of those fucking guys pushed my daughter.
- Uh, she's okay? - If we do this...
people... people are gonna say shit.
Yeah. We'll be in the West Wing. Nothing matters, Ken.
Nothing fucking matters. Dad's dead,
and the country's just a big pussy
waiting to get fucked.
(LAUGHS)
Fucking... (CLAPS HANDS) ...action, okay?
We can pay for any damages.
Let's just jam our fuckin' heads in the bosom of history
and just... (GOBBLES)
Right? I mean... Or, we sit on our hands
like a couple of damsels in distress,
and, you know, watch our chance slip away.
PGN ANCHOR: PGN has a major projection to announce,
and that is that Jeryd Mencken will win Arizona.
So, he is the winner of 11 electoral votes
- in Arizona... - (KNOCKING ON DOOR)
- SHIV: Hey. - KENDALL: Hey.
- Can we talk for a minute? - (TV AUDIO MUTES)
Yeah. We're fucked, Ken. We're fucked.
Because we called, it's fucked.
I don't know what we should do. I feel like my head is just...
I-- I can't-- I can't, uh...
get the scale of it, what this is.
I mean, we can recant, yeah?
His team is being very direct. They will block Matsson's deal.
Uh, well, he says he will.
We call it for him, that gives him legitimacy
to declare.
I mean, we're in bed with him, I think, yeah?
Yeah, I...
I mean, it'll get ground out in the courts, whatever we say.
Sure, right. But...
Yeah, look, shall we be...
- totally honest in here? - Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
KENDALL: (SIGHS) I have sometimes felt
like I could do it.
You know, like, I should do it. Me.
- Uh-huh. - KENDALL: Just me.
But I don't want that to be an end
to the... the family thing, right?
I would just-- I would like to be able to talk...
openly about that feeling, maybe.
Sure. Yeah, no, I appreciate-- I appreciate that.
Mencken is kinda Roman's guy, so that's complicated.
- Yeah, right. - And, honestly, I feel...
threatened, maybe, by their relationship, and...
So I want...
A piece of me wants to not support that,
and that's maybe in there, pulling away from Mencken.
Uh-huh.
- But also, you're a good guy. - Well, I don't know.
- SHIV: Sure. You are. - Thank you.
- I don't know. - SHIV: No, essentially, you're--
you're a good guy.
But we-- we all wanna stop Matsson, right?
- That's the thing? - Mm-hmm.
Yeah.
Go-- go on.
Uh, well, I think whatever...
Whatever advantage to us as-- as-- as corporate players
in the short term...
You know... (SIGHS)
He's... Mencken's the nightmare, yeah?
Plausible in a decadent era.
He says the bad shit, he believes the bad shit.
We wouldn't actually be making him president.
Oh, sure. We might not be able to crown him, but we can--
we can stop him.
He gets momentum tonight, it makes it possible.
He needs our call.
♪ (PENSIVE MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
I don't think I'm a very good father.
You are. You're-- No, you're okay.
You've tried. That's all we can do.
- Maybe the poison drips through. - No. No. And you know what?
I don't think even Dad would back him tonight.
- He basically picked him. - Sure, but we throw the papers
and the whole thing in for him?
And then in a-- in a month, a week from now,
the courts go the other way?
It's-- We're essentially done as a news organization.
It's just hard to think
we'd give it all away to Matsson.
Could we try? Could you try once?
Direct to Nate, to get something from them to block the deal?
Uh... yeah.
- Yeah. - SHIV: Sure.
- One of these? - Yeah.
You're a good guy.
Okay, yeah.
♪ (GENTLE MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
(MUFFLED) Hey, Nate.
Yeah, just calling with a quick, uh, check-in.
- Uh, yeah. - AUTOMATED VOICE: We're sorry. The number you have reached...
- SHIV: To be honest, just wondering if Jimenez... - ...is not in service.
- Please check the number, or try your call again. - SHIV: I don't know, could he...
♪ (NEWS THEME PLAYING ON TV) ♪
- So, um... - PGN ANCHOR: Mencken now stands at 265...
Yeah, Shiv's seeing what we can get from the Dems.
Oh, get the fuck out of here.
- Why? We got it. - I really need to know what we're doing, guys.
If we're gonna stick with Wisconsin--
- Okay, one moment. One moment, Tom. One moment. - ROMAN: We're gonna stick-- Ugh.
KENDALL: So? You talk to him?
Uh, yeah. I think there's, uh...
there's-- there's something there.
- No, there's not. - KENDALL: Like? Like?
Like, they might be-- they are-- willing to think.
Oh! They might be, or maybe they are,
willing to think. Maybe.
- That sounds like horseshit. - No. Rome.
They're just not so direct.
Yeah? I-- I-- I think we can probably get 'em to stop it.
ROMAN: Oh, they "probably." Yeah, go.
Sorry, no. Uh, game over. Bullshit.
No. We have to call it.
- Mencken is rock-solid. - SHIV: Roman, even Dad...
Even-- even Dad, in this situation,
- would respect the process. - ROMAN: No!
Dad did whatever the fuck he wanted.
He-- One fax, he took out a government.
He did the "Fuck Lyle!" Send.
And that was it. That's all it took.
Fucking Canada, here. He didn't give a shit.
He liked stability, Rome. He pushed,
but he didn't want shit to unravel.
He-- he helped end-- I mean, he ended wars.
He ended wars that he started.
He did whatever the fuck he wanted.
What did they say, Shiv?
Like, what did Nate actually say?
He said, uh, they would talk,
and that they could see the arguments,
and I-- I-- I think it's encouraging.
ROMAN: You felt like it was encouraging? Wow!
SHIV: It was. It was encouraging.
It was a feeling. I got something real.
- (SHIV SIGHS) - This is fuckin' pointless.
- What a waste of time. - What are you doing?
I'm gonna call. I-- I-- I'm just gonna--
I'm gonna be very direct.
We just-- we just need a little bit more,
- and, uh-- - SHIV: Don't call him.
Why?
They're-- Uh, they're busy.
(INDISTINCT CHATTER ON TV)
♪ (TENSE MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
ROMAN: Can't have uncertainty. Can't. Fucking market.
The chaos of trying to rerun an entire election
could just send the country into meltdown, you know?
- SHIV: Okay. Bad faith argument. - ROMAN: I'm telling you.
I'm just telling you. You cannot have uncertainty.
- China is coming. - "China is coming"?
- ROMAN: China's coming. - China's already been. Next.
ROMAN: It's not like the fucking "final" final anyway.
Okay? There's the court shit,
and it all kind of just fuzzes along, you know?
It's just a waste of fucking time.
That we don't have, by the way.
KENDALL: Hey, Greg? Can I ask you a question?
GREG: What's up?
Do you know if there's something going on?
(ROMAN GROANS)
What else Nate and Gil and fucking Jimenez offer you?
Unlimited social security spending with this one weird trick?
ROMAN: How was that call?
What'd you get? Whole bunch of not much?
- KENDALL: Really? - ♪ (MUSIC FADES) ♪
- SHIV: What? - "I think you're a good guy"?
Uh, well... (SCOFFS) I found it hard to get Nate,
so I summarized some impressions.
Oh, right, right, right. Smart. Really good, Shiv.
But you lied.
- Oh... (MUMBLES) - KENDALL: Right?
She didn't get anything from Nate.
- ROMAN: Really? - She didn't speak to Nate.
- (CHUCKLES) - KENDALL: And she's in with Matsson.
- SHIV: Mm... - Sorry, what?
No, I... (SCOFFS) No.
No. I-- I-- I-- I did what we all agreed to,
that I got close to him so that I could help--
- Shiv's fucking us. Right, Shivy? - Wow.
No. No! No, no, no. I-- I-- I-- I-- I-- I--
- KENDALL: "I-- I-- I-- I-- I--" - ...was...
I fucking some asked you some real questions, Shiv.
I wondered why you looked like a goose
trying to shit a house brick, you piece of dirt.
Okay, what? You got yourself a little fucking side deal here?
No. No. I have some options. I-- I was, uh...
- I was going through with the plan. - ROMAN: Uh-huh.
- SHIVE: And then you two... - Well, Mencken. Mencken, right?
- Mencken. - SHIV: No! What?
ROMAN: Tom!
- No! You even wanted to push us out of the fucking nest. - KENDALL: Uh-huh. Uh-huh.
- Sure, sis. Sure, sure, sure. - Please! Ken.
Aside from all this, this is not the right thing.
KENDALL: Aside from the fact that you lied to us,
and that doing what you want precisely plays into
- your own interests, yeah? - Oh, and this doesn't? Yeah?
Ken, please, come on. Come on! Who are we?
Oh, yeah. Will no one think of the children?
You know what? No, I'm not gonna let this happen.
There comes a time...
- ROMAN: "There comes a time..." - ...when you have to stand up for what you--
(BABBLES MOCKINGLY)
SHIV: Seriously. This is real.
- ROMAN: Mm-hmm. - SHIV: Okay? I have a concern
for the state of the republic, and-- and pluralism and--
- and the future of this country. - ROMAN: I'm snoring.
- You're so boring. - And it-- It is real.
ROMAN: You're such a bore, Shiv. Jesus.
- Fuck you. Ken? - He's right.
Yeah. You're boring. And you don't have a pass for in here.
Okay, well, fine. You know what? I'm-- Maybe I'll-- I'll go pu--
I'll-- I'll-- I'll go public.
- ROMAN: Oh yeah? - I'll go to the papers,
and people, and-- and tell 'em what you're actually fucking doing.
ROMAN: Wow. Well, if you're gonna just be hysterical,
we're gonna have to, you know,
- ask you to leave. - SHIV: Fuck you!
People are trying to do some serious work in here.
Fuck you. This is about the future of the country.
No, I think it's because you broke up
with your boyfriend.
- (DOOR OPENS) - Jesus, you're a prick.
TOM: Hello.
- ROMAN: Hey, Tom. - Hey.
- So, call it. You can call it. - SHIV: No!
- We're calling it? - ROMAN: Yeah. We called Wisconsin,
now we're gonna call Arizona, so we call the election.
- We call the election? - Call it.
- ROMAN: Call it. - No. No, Tom. No.
You're making a terrible mistake.
- SHIV: Please don't. - Hey, guys, it's not my call.
It's not my call.
- It's your call. It's up to you. - ROMAN: Okay? It's our call.
- TOM: If you say so, I say so. - ROMAN: Call it. I say so.
Fucking Pontius Pilate.
ROMAN: No one cares. No one-- no one cares.
- GREG: Hey, yeah. Okay. - Hey. Tell 'em I'm coming down.
Yes. We're gonna call it. Yeah, we're calling for Mencken.
- ROMAN: All right. - GREG: Oh.
Okay. Tell 'em I'm coming. All right. Okay.
- ROMAN: Great work, Tom. - TOM: Thank you.
ROMAN: Good stuff. Great night.
♪ (DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
- (SIGHS) Fuck. - You okay?
Yeah, yeah, yeah. I, uh... I-- I... (SIGHS)
I have to go, um...
tell them, I think... we're calling it. For Mencken.
- Whoa. - GREG: Yeah.
So... (EXHALES)
- I should-- I should-- - Right.
I should go. I'll get in trouble if I don't go.
JESS JORDAN: Okay, dude. I mean... (CHUCKLES)
GREG: Yeah. I mean, it's not really my choice,
- right? So... - Sure.
- I mean, right. Yeah. - (BREATHES DEEPLY) Yeah.
I'm just-- I'm pressing the button.
Or I'm not even pressing the button, I'm just--
I'm asking them to prepare to press the button.
JESS: Right, and all that does is just, like,
launch a nuclear attack.
So...
It's not gonna change anything if I don't go. So...
- Couple minutes. So, I mean... - Right, right.
- You... - But realistically...
♪ (DRAMATIC MUSIC SWELLS) ♪
(EXHALES) Wow.
- Crazy. - Yeah.
Crazy.
Crazy one. (BREATHES DEEPLY)
- (ANCHORS TALKING ON TV) - GREG: So, Tom just told me.
Everybody, calling it for Mencken.
He's calling it for Mencken.
- Everyone, yeah? - TOM: So he said, yeah?
- GREG: I just said. - I'm calling it for Mencken.
Okay?
- PAM: Okay. - TOM: Okay, yeah.
Okay. Well, then, uh, Dave?
Okay. Uh, Lydia, get me "Mencken wins."
Get the ticker going on, uh, ATN Citizens.
Let the people know, two mins, and ATN is gonna call it.
SAMPINO: We are gonna make this call now.
The ATN decision desk has looked at the numbers
and is ready to declare Arizona for Jeryd Mencken.
This means that Mencken will be the next president
of the United States, winning the most unreal,
surreal election we have ever seen in this country.
His candidacy starting in Virginia
only six months ago
against a dozen other Republican candidates
in the wake of the president
saying he wasn't going to run for re-election.
What started off as an unlikely impossibility,
now a reality, it is Mencken.
- (CROWD CHEERING) - Uh, well...
(CHUCKLES) It's now clear I have won
sufficient electoral votes to be declared
the next president of the United States.
(CROWD CHEERING)
MENCKEN: And I find the responsibility awesome!
Now, I know there are some who feel
there is something left to contest.
But votes have been cast, votes have been tallied.
On another day, in another time, they might have fallen
in another fashion.
The election has been called for me
by an authority of known integrity.
TOM: Maybe we should get, um, like, a history guy?
- (MENCKEN CONTINUES ON TV) - TOM: You know, like a brain--
like a real brainiac,
to say why this sort of thing has happened in the past,
and that it'll all be fine?
To my critics, I am not a demagogue.
I am a defender of democracy.
But democracy, it has this tendency that we have to beware
to become mere transaction.
I give you this. You give me that.
I come begging for your vote. Welfare checkbook out.
Crowning the welfare kings and queens
till everyone has become a little tyrant,
crowned by the state.
The model that I follow
isn't from the scorched marketplace,
where cunning men haggle for the best price.
That's not me. The democracy I believe in
is where a leader emerged from the people,
willed almost into being,
brought forth by the great sweetness
of the virtue of the combined wisdom
of the good people of this republic.
Don't we long sometimes for something clean
once in this polluted land? That's what I hope to bring.
Not something grubby with compromise.
Something clean and true, and refreshing.
He's a guy we can do business with.
ROMAN: Yeah.
MENCKEN: Something proud and pure...
He'll play ball. You should hear him talk semiconductors.
- MENCKEN: And God bless the United States of America. - The market's holding the leash.
- (CROWD CHEERING) - ROMAN: We just made a night of good TV.
That's what we've done. Nothing happens.
Things do happen, Rome.
(PHONE BUZZES)
President calling.
Yo, Hocus-POTUS.
Sitting in the POTUS position. What's up?
MENCKEN: Hey, man. I-- Look, no time.
But just-- just thanks, yeah? You and me, man. We'll go far.
ROMAN: Over the road and into the bar.
An election unlike anything we've ever seen,
followed by a speech for the ages...
The legal process is gonna be lengthy.
When do you think it'll all be over?
This-- this could be going on for the next three months.
- GREG: Hey, Tom? - Uh-huh.
Your phone. It's, uh-- it's red-hot, Tom.
It, uh-- A lot of very important people are...
A lot of very important people wanna scream at you.
PGN ANCHOR: But allegedly, allegedly...
This is a little pointed.
The call was made personally by ATN boss Tom Wambsgans.
Um... Darwin wants to know when to do his caveats.
Is there time for him to do--
- No. - GREG: No.
PGN ANCHOR: ...he was given by his decision desk.
So it's unclear whether Wambsgans's alleged action
- was an error of judgment, or there was a personal... - GREG: Hello? No.
PGN ANCHOR: ...or political dimension to the decision.
He is, of course, known to be an associate of Jeryd Mencken.
Jesus fucking Christ. What's going on?
SHIV: Those funky numbers? I'm sending you words, yeah?
Let's get 'em out in the next 24.
- Lot of fucking news. - You guys are crazy.
Yeah, it's more than just fucking crazy, Lukas.
No, but this is crazy.
Yeah, well, we're gonna do a number on 'em.
We're gonna fuck them so hard. We're gonna fix this, yeah?
Fuck.
♪ (DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
Can I come see the kids?
- RAVA: They're asleep, Ken. - Just... I know.
Yeah. Well, I can-- I can wait up for them.
RAVA: (SIGHS) I should be asleep,
but I... I can't.
Okay. I'll-- I'll-- I'll see you tomorrow.
I'll see you at the funeral, okay?
(SIGHS)
Some people just can't cut a deal, Fikret.
♪ (THEME MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
♪ (MUSIC CONCLUDES) ♪