1
00:00:01,376 --> 00:00:03,996
[knocking on door]
2
00:00:07,174 --> 00:00:09,804
[knocking continues]
3
00:00:13,514 --> 00:00:16,274
‐ Oh, my God, Jules,
I'm so happy you were up.
4
00:00:16,266 --> 00:00:17,676
‐ I wasn't.
5
00:00:17,684 --> 00:00:21,904
‐ I was at this insane baby shower
in the hills that's right near here.
6
00:00:21,897 --> 00:00:24,397
‐ You were at a baby shower
that ended at 5:00 in the morning?
7
00:00:24,399 --> 00:00:26,649
‐ Oh, no. It's still going. I just left.
8
00:00:26,652 --> 00:00:28,202
You know, I can't party like I used to.
9
00:00:28,195 --> 00:00:30,655
But I wanted to ask you a favor
10
00:00:30,656 --> 00:00:32,616
and see if you wanted to
come out with me tomorrow night.
11
00:00:33,408 --> 00:00:36,698
‐ So, tonight for me,
'cause you're still on yesterday, right?
12
00:00:36,703 --> 00:00:38,833
Oh, that's salsa.
‐ Yeah, I know.
13
00:00:38,830 --> 00:00:42,500
My mom's in town, so I was hoping
you'd come and get a drink with us.
14
00:00:42,501 --> 00:00:45,051
‐ Me, really? I mean, yeah. I'd love that.
15
00:00:45,045 --> 00:00:46,085
‐ Okay, great.
16
00:00:46,088 --> 00:00:47,628
And she can get a little wild,
17
00:00:47,631 --> 00:00:51,091
so it totally helps balance the energy
if I bring someone more like...
18
00:00:51,093 --> 00:00:52,643
you know, regular.
19
00:00:52,636 --> 00:00:55,506
‐ And by regular you mean, like...
‐ Like... boring.
20
00:00:55,514 --> 00:00:57,224
‐ You think I'm boring?
21
00:00:57,224 --> 00:00:59,314
‐ Yes, Jules, but as a compliment.
22
00:00:59,309 --> 00:01:00,599
[scoffs]
23
00:01:00,602 --> 00:01:02,442
‐ I don't really think you can
say a negative word,
24
00:01:02,437 --> 00:01:03,687
and then call it a compliment.
25
00:01:03,689 --> 00:01:05,479
‐ You have no idea.
26
00:01:05,482 --> 00:01:08,742
The last time my mom was in town,
we got matching tattoos.
27
00:01:08,735 --> 00:01:10,235
What'd you do last time
your parents were here?
28
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‐ It was basically like that.
I mean, uh,
29
00:01:12,406 --> 00:01:13,656
we went to Home Depot,
30
00:01:13,657 --> 00:01:15,947
but then they didn't have
the kind of wall anchors I needed,
31
00:01:15,951 --> 00:01:17,831
so we went to a different Home Depot,
32
00:01:17,828 --> 00:01:20,248
and then, uh, oh, we got pancakes.
That's exciting.
33
00:01:20,247 --> 00:01:21,577
‐ Mm. With, like, chocolate chips?
34
00:01:21,874 --> 00:01:24,174
‐ Nah, I just really just like mine plain.
35
00:01:24,168 --> 00:01:25,418
Oh, my God. I am boring.
36
00:01:25,419 --> 00:01:28,129
‐ Jules, don't spiral. Tomorrow night,
you're hanging out with my mom.
37
00:01:28,130 --> 00:01:30,380
And right now,
I'm hanging out with your cat.
38
00:01:30,382 --> 00:01:32,012
‐ Okay.
39
00:01:32,009 --> 00:01:33,679
You get some rest.
40
00:01:33,677 --> 00:01:35,257
I'm just gonna...
41
00:01:35,262 --> 00:01:38,352
take care of a bunch of boring stuff
in the living room
42
00:01:38,348 --> 00:01:39,598
that I have to deal with.
43
00:01:40,976 --> 00:01:42,976
[canned audience laughter]
44
00:01:49,985 --> 00:01:52,445
Remember, if anyone asks,
45
00:01:52,446 --> 00:01:53,696
I'm sick.
46
00:01:56,033 --> 00:01:57,993
‐ Tell Paris I killed the story...
‐ [canned audience applause]
47
00:01:57,993 --> 00:01:59,753
and tell Milan we'll see
the proofs by Tuesday.
48
00:02:00,537 --> 00:02:02,037
No, those aren't cities.
49
00:02:02,039 --> 00:02:04,039
Those are Instagram models.
50
00:02:04,041 --> 00:02:06,711
Jules, I'm not letting you
miss girls' night out.
51
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Take this. It'll make you feel better.
52
00:02:09,171 --> 00:02:12,261
‐ [whimpers]
Oh, my God. What was that?
53
00:02:12,257 --> 00:02:13,877
‐ Wheat grass. Now take this.
54
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‐ [sips, then chokes]
That was wheat grass?
55
00:02:17,888 --> 00:02:19,518
‐ Nope. That was tequila.
56
00:02:19,515 --> 00:02:21,265
[canned audience laughter]
57
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‐ [pants] I promise I'm sick, Madison.
Feel my forehead.
58
00:02:25,646 --> 00:02:27,936
‐ Oh, man. You're burning up.
59
00:02:27,940 --> 00:02:29,820
And greasy.
60
00:02:29,816 --> 00:02:32,646
‐ Did someone say, "Burning Man"?
‐ [canned audience applause]
61
00:02:33,946 --> 00:02:36,566
‐ We can't go. Jules is sick.
‐ What?
62
00:02:36,573 --> 00:02:38,533
But I brought my best friend "Molly."
63
00:02:38,534 --> 00:02:40,584
She's a real "pill,"
if you know what I mean.
64
00:02:43,330 --> 00:02:46,210
‐ Hey, girl, hey. I let myself in.
‐ [canned audience laughter]
65
00:02:46,917 --> 00:02:49,547
‐ Izzy, did you climb through
my hedges again?
66
00:02:49,545 --> 00:02:52,545
‐ A lady never tells.
‐ [canned audience applause]
67
00:02:52,548 --> 00:02:55,968
‐ Jules, stop changing the subject.
We're talking about you bailing.
68
00:02:55,968 --> 00:02:59,218
‐ You look totally fine
on Izzy's Insta‐stories today at work.
69
00:02:59,221 --> 00:03:02,271
‐ Izzy, did you post a photo of me
without my permission again?
70
00:03:02,266 --> 00:03:05,096
‐ A lady never tells.
71
00:03:05,102 --> 00:03:07,522
‐ I really am sick.
72
00:03:07,521 --> 00:03:09,771
‐ Jules, you're coming. Now de‐Snuggie.
73
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‐ [canned audience laughter]
74
00:03:15,153 --> 00:03:16,613
‐ How many of those do you have on?
75
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‐ A lady never‐‐
76
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Hey!
77
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[Cat Lady laughing]
78
00:03:25,163 --> 00:03:28,423
‐ Oh, God, I love this show.
79
00:03:28,417 --> 00:03:31,667
JULES: Come on, I'm not actually
the boring one in real life.
80
00:03:31,670 --> 00:03:32,710
Right?
81
00:03:34,548 --> 00:03:36,548
♪
82
00:03:42,014 --> 00:03:43,814
‐ So you're saying the promo is not ready.
83
00:03:43,807 --> 00:03:46,687
‐ It's not that it's not ready.
There are just a few concerns.
84
00:03:46,685 --> 00:03:48,555
‐ Challenges. Challenges open the soul.
85
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Concerns cause wrinkles.
‐ Right.
86
00:03:49,980 --> 00:03:53,400
Well, there are just a few
challenges that I'm concerned about.
87
00:03:53,400 --> 00:03:55,860
Chall‐‐ Challenged about?
Challenged by.
88
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[sighs]
CELESTE: Good morning.
89
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I see all of you,
90
00:04:00,073 --> 00:04:02,243
and you all feel seen.
91
00:04:02,242 --> 00:04:03,702
Woman with the new bangs,
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00:04:03,702 --> 00:04:04,792
let's screen the promo.
93
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WOMAN: [over TV] Woom is introducing
an exciting new product
94
00:04:09,416 --> 00:04:11,916
to transform your health.
95
00:04:11,919 --> 00:04:16,259
This collagen supplement contains
only the purest ingredients
96
00:04:16,256 --> 00:04:19,676
to give you the most beautiful,
glowing skin.
97
00:04:19,676 --> 00:04:23,306
It's the most superior product
on the market.
98
00:04:23,305 --> 00:04:25,345
So, raise your hands
99
00:04:25,349 --> 00:04:28,939
if you're ready to feel like
the best in the world.
100
00:04:28,936 --> 00:04:30,806
White Powder.
101
00:04:30,812 --> 00:04:32,812
♪ empowering music playing ♪
102
00:04:40,197 --> 00:04:43,907
‐ First of all, it looks very fresh,
and fun. But...
103
00:04:43,909 --> 00:04:47,449
and granted, I'm a little more sensitive
and in tune with these things,
104
00:04:47,454 --> 00:04:50,674
I did catch a slight obstacle
with the logo.
105
00:04:50,666 --> 00:04:54,546
‐ I would say I was also cognizant
of the obstacle.
106
00:04:54,545 --> 00:04:57,255
‐ I would like to echo that sentiment.
‐ Me, too.
107
00:04:57,256 --> 00:05:01,176
Not, like hashtag me too,
just, like, also me.
108
00:05:01,176 --> 00:05:03,966
‐ Ladies, what a rad opportunity.
109
00:05:03,971 --> 00:05:07,431
These are the kinds of discussions
that Woom was built to incubate.
110
00:05:08,100 --> 00:05:10,060
Let's open a dialogue. Alison.
111
00:05:10,060 --> 00:05:14,230
‐ We could take this to a focus group
and get some feedback.
112
00:05:14,982 --> 00:05:16,942
‐ This is why I love bad ideas.
113
00:05:16,942 --> 00:05:18,902
They really keep the conversation moving.
114
00:05:18,902 --> 00:05:22,612
‐ We could form an internal task force
to look for answers.
115
00:05:22,614 --> 00:05:23,874
‐ No.
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00:05:23,866 --> 00:05:27,286
You'll form an internal task force
to look for questions.
117
00:05:27,286 --> 00:05:29,406
‐ Why would we‐‐
‐ Question everything.
118
00:05:29,413 --> 00:05:32,423
Who are we as women?
Who are we as humans?
119
00:05:32,416 --> 00:05:35,126
What are we trying to say?
What are we trying to sell?
120
00:05:35,127 --> 00:05:37,587
Will this product revolutionize wellness?
121
00:05:37,588 --> 00:05:40,258
Will Celeste be upset
if the product launch is delayed?
122
00:05:40,257 --> 00:05:42,547
Will someone get fired because of this?
123
00:05:42,551 --> 00:05:45,221
‐ Will someone get fired because of this?
124
00:05:45,220 --> 00:05:48,310
‐ Exactly. Very cool conversation.
125
00:05:48,307 --> 00:05:50,227
It felt massively organic.
126
00:05:51,518 --> 00:05:54,228
Other Alison B.,
I'll let you take the lead on this.
127
00:05:54,229 --> 00:05:56,109
‐ Me? I mean,
128
00:05:56,106 --> 00:05:59,436
don't you think Alison S.
would be better for this one?
129
00:05:59,443 --> 00:06:00,363
‐ Why?
130
00:06:01,778 --> 00:06:02,818
‐ No reason.
131
00:06:02,821 --> 00:06:06,201
I am actually the perfect person
to handle this.
132
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I'll get right on it.
133
00:06:07,951 --> 00:06:09,291
Thank you so much.
134
00:06:09,286 --> 00:06:10,616
‐ Thank you.
135
00:06:10,621 --> 00:06:12,411
You're welcome.
136
00:06:12,414 --> 00:06:14,084
Namaste.
137
00:06:15,167 --> 00:06:17,247
TERESA:
Tips up, bitches.
138
00:06:17,252 --> 00:06:19,132
[indistinct laughter, chattering]
139
00:06:19,129 --> 00:06:21,049
JULES: Oh.
‐ [all coughing]
140
00:06:21,048 --> 00:06:22,798
I love drinking!
141
00:06:22,799 --> 00:06:24,639
And I love winter sports.
142
00:06:24,635 --> 00:06:27,795
I love everything that's happening
to me right now.
143
00:06:27,804 --> 00:06:30,644
You were not lying.
Your mom is wild and fun.
144
00:06:30,641 --> 00:06:33,521
But it's so great,
because I am also wild and fun,
145
00:06:33,519 --> 00:06:36,019
and we have that in common.
‐ Hey, hey, hey.
146
00:06:36,021 --> 00:06:39,401
What did I tell you girls?
No "M" word tonight.
147
00:06:39,399 --> 00:06:42,279
Call me Teri.
‐ Round three, on the ski.
148
00:06:42,277 --> 00:06:45,237
‐ Whoo, you know it, snow pants.
‐ [slaps]
149
00:06:45,239 --> 00:06:47,659
‐ Oh, okay. You know what, Teri?
150
00:06:47,658 --> 00:06:49,788
Uh, I don't think Jules
wants another shot.
151
00:06:49,785 --> 00:06:51,995
Right, Jules?
‐ That's right. I want another.
152
00:06:51,995 --> 00:06:55,365
‐ Ha! Tips up, bitches!
153
00:06:55,374 --> 00:06:57,004
JULES:
Oh, boy.
154
00:06:58,210 --> 00:07:01,710
Oh. Oh, hell, yeah. You're my bitch!
155
00:07:01,713 --> 00:07:04,303
Oh, God. Oh, God.
I just called your mom a bitch.
156
00:07:04,299 --> 00:07:06,219
Oh, God, I just called your Teri a mom.
157
00:07:06,218 --> 00:07:09,598
‐ Be right back. I need to rearrange
my sticky boobs before the next round.
158
00:07:09,596 --> 00:07:12,636
‐ Uh, there's gonna be a next round. Yay!
‐ Hey, hey. Jules. Jules.
159
00:07:12,641 --> 00:07:15,061
I brought you here to slow the pace
of the night down, okay?
160
00:07:15,060 --> 00:07:17,520
Think more bunny hill, less black diamond.
161
00:07:17,521 --> 00:07:19,571
‐ I have never been
to the Olympics, Stella.
162
00:07:19,565 --> 00:07:21,105
I have literally no idea
what you're talking about.
163
00:07:21,108 --> 00:07:23,188
‐ Every time Teri comes to visit me,
164
00:07:23,193 --> 00:07:25,993
it‐‐ it's like it's my fault
that she had me so young.
165
00:07:25,988 --> 00:07:27,278
So now I have to be the one
166
00:07:27,281 --> 00:07:29,871
to help her relive her wild youth
that she never had.
167
00:07:29,867 --> 00:07:32,407
Yeah, that's great.
My little half‐brothers get a real mom,
168
00:07:32,411 --> 00:07:34,001
and I get a drinking buddy.
169
00:07:33,996 --> 00:07:37,666
‐ Ooh, I get a very weird rash
on my upper back when it's hot outside.
170
00:07:37,666 --> 00:07:41,876
‐ So, Julesy, spill the tea.
171
00:07:41,879 --> 00:07:44,089
Who are you dating? Ooh, sorry.
172
00:07:44,089 --> 00:07:46,339
Who are you hooking up with?
‐ Okay.
173
00:07:46,341 --> 00:07:48,261
Jules doesn't wanna tell you
about her love life, Mom.
174
00:07:48,260 --> 00:07:50,680
‐ Come on, I need to live vicariously
through you girls.
175
00:07:50,679 --> 00:07:53,309
I need to know every detail of your life.
176
00:07:53,307 --> 00:07:56,977
‐ Okay. Well, I have something
kind of big going on.
177
00:07:56,977 --> 00:07:59,477
Um, I applied to business school.
178
00:07:59,479 --> 00:08:01,569
‐ Ah, school!
179
00:08:01,565 --> 00:08:03,315
Ah, that's great, baby.
180
00:08:03,317 --> 00:08:07,357
But don't you know
that all I ever think about is school?
181
00:08:07,362 --> 00:08:10,372
School lunches and school plays, and‐‐
182
00:08:10,365 --> 00:08:11,905
What the hell are
a bunch of 9‐year‐olds
183
00:08:11,909 --> 00:08:14,489
doing Kinky Boots for, anyway?
JULES: Wait.
184
00:08:14,494 --> 00:08:16,914
Did you just say
you applied for business school?
185
00:08:16,914 --> 00:08:20,044
‐ Yeah. I took the GRE a few months ago,
186
00:08:20,042 --> 00:08:21,632
and actually did well.
187
00:08:21,627 --> 00:08:23,247
‐ Do you know what they say to you
at Payless
188
00:08:23,253 --> 00:08:26,883
when you ask them for thigh‐high
patent leather boots for a fourth‐grader?
189
00:08:26,882 --> 00:08:29,972
‐ Stella! I am so proud of you.
‐ Thanks.
190
00:08:29,968 --> 00:08:32,048
‐ I should do something for you.
191
00:08:32,054 --> 00:08:34,434
We should do another shot for you.
192
00:08:34,431 --> 00:08:37,391
TERESA: Whoo!
Now that's the kind of talk I like.
193
00:08:37,392 --> 00:08:40,562
‐ Well, what can I say, Teri?
We are cut from the same cloth.
194
00:08:40,562 --> 00:08:42,862
Fetch me goggle boy!
195
00:08:42,856 --> 00:08:44,976
Okay. Yes.
196
00:08:44,983 --> 00:08:47,573
‐ Whoo! All right.
197
00:08:47,569 --> 00:08:50,609
Mm. Mm. Mm.
198
00:08:50,614 --> 00:08:52,244
[thuds]
199
00:08:52,241 --> 00:08:54,121
‐ Aah.
‐ Aah.
200
00:08:54,117 --> 00:08:56,497
IZZY:
Thank you so much for coming.
201
00:08:56,495 --> 00:08:58,955
We'd say our problem
is at threat level orange,
202
00:08:58,956 --> 00:09:00,996
but orange clashes with
the blush tones in the office,
203
00:09:00,999 --> 00:09:02,629
so we've agreed to just say it's very bad.
204
00:09:02,626 --> 00:09:04,036
‐ You were right to call me, Izzy.
‐ Oh.
205
00:09:04,044 --> 00:09:06,674
Quick but vital reminder
to call me Alison here.
206
00:09:06,672 --> 00:09:10,092
‐ Oh. Okay. Alison, as in,
"Alison's emotionally unstable"?
207
00:09:10,092 --> 00:09:11,302
‐ That's perfect. Yes.
208
00:09:12,010 --> 00:09:14,010
‐ First, let's address the name.
209
00:09:14,012 --> 00:09:18,182
Having the right name
is important to any successful brand.
210
00:09:18,183 --> 00:09:20,193
‐ Yes. [laughs]
211
00:09:20,185 --> 00:09:23,145
Yes, That's important and good
for all of us to hear.
212
00:09:23,146 --> 00:09:25,766
Everyone, not just me.
213
00:09:25,774 --> 00:09:28,694
MADISON: The logo's gonna create
what we call a "barrier to purchase."
214
00:09:28,694 --> 00:09:31,114
Mainly because it's incredibly racist.
215
00:09:31,113 --> 00:09:34,323
So, how do we turn that into a sellable?
216
00:09:34,324 --> 00:09:37,874
We keep the white powder,
and add other, colorful nutrients.
217
00:09:37,870 --> 00:09:40,960
Green chlorophyll, orange turmeric,
yellow bee pollen.
218
00:09:40,956 --> 00:09:43,126
Redo the packaging, and there it is.
219
00:09:44,251 --> 00:09:45,791
"Powder Dynamicz."
220
00:09:47,171 --> 00:09:50,221
[all clapping]
221
00:09:50,215 --> 00:09:51,625
‐ Thank you.
222
00:09:51,633 --> 00:09:55,013
For bringing your dope goddess energy
into this space.
223
00:09:56,138 --> 00:09:58,468
‐ It is such a pleasure meeting you.
224
00:09:58,473 --> 00:10:01,733
I have listened to your TED talk
on career mantras at least 10 times.
225
00:10:01,727 --> 00:10:03,897
‐ I love that I inspired you.
226
00:10:03,896 --> 00:10:05,646
You inspired me.
‐ Oh.
227
00:10:05,647 --> 00:10:07,937
‐ So, in a way, you can say
I inspired myself.
228
00:10:07,941 --> 00:10:10,531
Thank you for reminding me
to be mindful of that.
229
00:10:14,740 --> 00:10:17,160
‐ Madison, that was brilliant.
230
00:10:17,159 --> 00:10:19,699
‐ You have to let us buy you a drink
tomorrow night to say thank you.
231
00:10:19,703 --> 00:10:21,413
‐ Sure. Sounds fun.
232
00:10:21,413 --> 00:10:23,673
‐ Oh, thank God. PR nightmare averted.
233
00:10:23,665 --> 00:10:25,535
‐ PR nightmare not averted.
234
00:10:25,542 --> 00:10:27,042
PR nightmare standing in front of me.
235
00:10:27,044 --> 00:10:29,674
Look, I want to say this
in the nicest way possible,
236
00:10:29,671 --> 00:10:31,671
but I think your personal brand
is a disaster.
237
00:10:31,673 --> 00:10:34,723
‐ What? Wh‐‐ What's my personal brand?
238
00:10:34,718 --> 00:10:38,888
‐ Sort of like desperation meets
aspiring camp counselor meets
239
00:10:38,889 --> 00:10:40,809
you're using a fake name at work.
240
00:10:40,807 --> 00:10:42,767
‐ Yeah.
‐ Look, you're Jules' friend,
241
00:10:42,768 --> 00:10:44,138
which means you're gonna be around now.
242
00:10:44,144 --> 00:10:46,654
If that's the case, I feel like
it's my professional responsibility
243
00:10:46,647 --> 00:10:47,477
to help you figure out...
244
00:10:48,440 --> 00:10:51,280
all of this.
Like, tomorrow. I'll text you.
245
00:10:51,276 --> 00:10:54,946
‐ Okay. Cool. Sounds good.
I'll see you then.
246
00:10:54,947 --> 00:10:56,527
‐ [thuds]
‐ Ow.
247
00:10:56,532 --> 00:10:58,532
Ow. I'm okay.
248
00:11:00,035 --> 00:11:04,365
‐ [groans] I feel like my spirit
is trapped inside by own dead body
249
00:11:04,373 --> 00:11:07,633
and some unfinished business
is keeping me from crossing over.
250
00:11:07,626 --> 00:11:09,336
‐ Okay, Jules, it's 2019.
251
00:11:09,336 --> 00:11:11,086
We're not supposed to make
Ghost jokes anymore.
252
00:11:11,088 --> 00:11:14,548
‐ Last night was a total
and complete failure.
253
00:11:14,550 --> 00:11:15,760
‐ Are you kidding?
254
00:11:15,759 --> 00:11:18,259
Last night, you passed out
25 minutes into it.
255
00:11:18,262 --> 00:11:19,852
I got take you home,
256
00:11:19,847 --> 00:11:22,677
instead of escorting Teri to that bar
with the mechanical horse.
257
00:11:22,683 --> 00:11:23,853
It was perfect.
258
00:11:23,851 --> 00:11:25,521
‐ I guess I just don't see what's perfect
259
00:11:25,519 --> 00:11:28,559
about me not being able to keep up
with someone who drives a minivan.
260
00:11:28,564 --> 00:11:31,654
And since when are you excited
to end a night early, anyway?
261
00:11:31,650 --> 00:11:33,820
‐ I don't know. I mean, I get that
everyone expects me to be
262
00:11:33,819 --> 00:11:36,109
the fun friend all the time.
But, you know,
263
00:11:36,113 --> 00:11:38,533
sometimes I could use a night off.
Is that so much to ask?
264
00:11:38,532 --> 00:11:40,412
‐ No. It's not.
265
00:11:40,409 --> 00:11:42,659
And you deserve a friend
who can give you that
266
00:11:42,661 --> 00:11:44,661
without rendering herself unconscious.
267
00:11:44,663 --> 00:11:46,833
My boring‐ness is driving people away.
268
00:11:46,832 --> 00:11:48,042
It's probably why I got dumped,
269
00:11:48,041 --> 00:11:49,791
and now it's stopping me
from being a good friend.
270
00:11:49,793 --> 00:11:53,053
‐ Okay, just 'cause you are boring
doesn't make you a bad friend.
271
00:11:53,046 --> 00:11:55,256
I mean, without you,
I'd have no one to recommend a podiatrist.
272
00:11:55,257 --> 00:11:57,467
‐ Dr. Nuzzbaum's the best, isn't he?
‐ Oh, my gosh.
273
00:11:57,467 --> 00:11:59,177
These insoles changed my whole posture.
274
00:11:59,178 --> 00:12:00,928
‐ I knew they would.
275
00:12:00,929 --> 00:12:02,559
MADISON: Hey.
IZZY: Hey, guys.
276
00:12:02,556 --> 00:12:04,176
Madison invited me to come.
277
00:12:04,183 --> 00:12:06,393
She said we're gonna fix
all the things that are wrong with me,
278
00:12:06,393 --> 00:12:08,563
and I'm told it's a very long list.
279
00:12:09,563 --> 00:12:12,193
‐ I think Stella's tired of always
having to be the party,
280
00:12:12,191 --> 00:12:13,321
and I want to help.
281
00:12:13,317 --> 00:12:14,857
I want to do something for her.
282
00:12:14,860 --> 00:12:16,450
‐ She said she needed new headphones.
283
00:12:16,445 --> 00:12:18,605
‐ No, I mean, like, actually do something.
284
00:12:18,614 --> 00:12:20,784
You guys have been so there for me
during my breakup,
285
00:12:20,782 --> 00:12:22,912
and I just want to do the same.
286
00:12:22,910 --> 00:12:25,790
I want to plan a really fun night out
for Stella.
287
00:12:25,787 --> 00:12:29,367
The kind of night that'll make her go,
"Whoa. That was a really fun night."
288
00:12:29,374 --> 00:12:32,544
‐ That's really sweet, Jules.
But you can't "out‐Stella" Stella.
289
00:12:32,544 --> 00:12:33,384
It's not your brand.
290
00:12:33,378 --> 00:12:35,548
I mean, your brand
is recommending a good podiatrist.
291
00:12:35,547 --> 00:12:37,377
‐ Nuzzbaum does good work.
292
00:12:37,382 --> 00:12:39,892
Should I be withholding that information
from the world?
293
00:12:39,885 --> 00:12:41,715
‐ This is exactly
what I'm trying to teach Izzy.
294
00:12:41,720 --> 00:12:44,390
She's all over the place,
pretending to be someone she's not.
295
00:12:44,389 --> 00:12:46,559
‐ Oh, so you're trying to "Madison" Izzy?
296
00:12:46,558 --> 00:12:47,888
‐ Oh, excuse me?
297
00:12:47,893 --> 00:12:51,153
‐ You said I'm trying to "Stella" Stella,
but you're trying to "Madison" Izzy.
298
00:12:51,146 --> 00:12:53,106
‐ [scoffs]
‐ Identifying her flaws,
299
00:12:53,106 --> 00:12:54,436
putting your spin on it,
300
00:12:54,441 --> 00:12:57,741
managing her image.
You're giving her the full Madison.
301
00:12:57,736 --> 00:13:01,026
‐ Okay, fine. I am. But between that,
and kicking your ass on this hike,
302
00:13:01,031 --> 00:13:04,281
I'm gonna need to "Jules" myself later.
‐ What is that?
303
00:13:04,284 --> 00:13:05,834
‐ When you change out of
one set of pajamas,
304
00:13:05,827 --> 00:13:07,827
directly into another set of pajamas.
305
00:13:08,705 --> 00:13:10,165
‐ Not funny!
306
00:13:11,208 --> 00:13:12,878
‐ Hey, don't die before you get up here.
307
00:13:12,876 --> 00:13:14,376
I want us to all take a picture.
308
00:13:14,378 --> 00:13:17,258
‐ We're in a fight. All of us.
I'm mad at all of you.
309
00:13:18,423 --> 00:13:21,683
Plan a fun night out for
the most fun girl on the planet.
310
00:13:21,677 --> 00:13:23,137
How hard could that be?
311
00:13:23,136 --> 00:13:25,006
I can do this. I'm fun.
312
00:13:25,013 --> 00:13:28,233
I'm so fun I'm gonna Google "fun."
313
00:13:28,225 --> 00:13:29,765
Find out where it happens.
314
00:13:29,768 --> 00:13:32,648
"Best places to have fun."
315
00:13:32,646 --> 00:13:34,766
"Best places to have funerals."
316
00:13:34,773 --> 00:13:36,943
WOMAN: [over computer] It's never
too late to plan for life's longest nap.
317
00:13:36,942 --> 00:13:38,652
JULES:
You don't know me, Internet.
318
00:13:38,652 --> 00:13:41,202
"Things to do for fun."
319
00:13:41,196 --> 00:13:42,406
Fungus?
320
00:13:42,406 --> 00:13:43,656
‐ MAN: [over computer]
Dr. Nuzzbaum.
321
00:13:43,657 --> 00:13:46,487
Most highly rated podiatrist
in greater Los Angeles
322
00:13:46,493 --> 00:13:47,743
JULES:
Goddamn it, Nuzzbaum.
323
00:13:47,744 --> 00:13:50,124
"Popular nightclubs."
324
00:13:50,914 --> 00:13:53,044
‐ So the club is pretty simple,
325
00:13:53,041 --> 00:13:55,171
if you've got a webcam
and you've got needles.
326
00:13:55,169 --> 00:13:56,709
JULES: Come on!
"Underground parties."
327
00:13:56,712 --> 00:13:58,842
"Under eye circles"? Rude.
328
00:13:58,839 --> 00:14:01,969
MAN 2 [over computer]: Are you
still watching The Great British Bake Off?
329
00:14:01,967 --> 00:14:03,677
Press play to continue.
330
00:14:05,554 --> 00:14:07,564
JULES:
Fine. But just the rest of this episode,
331
00:14:07,556 --> 00:14:09,096
then I keep searching.
332
00:14:12,394 --> 00:14:13,354
‐ First things first.
333
00:14:13,353 --> 00:14:15,363
We can't build a brand
off a fake identity.
334
00:14:15,355 --> 00:14:16,935
You pretended to be Alison at work,
335
00:14:16,940 --> 00:14:18,730
because you're not confident
in who you really are.
336
00:14:18,734 --> 00:14:20,444
‐ Izzy. Yes, that's correct.
337
00:14:20,444 --> 00:14:23,994
‐ Okay. Well, I'm sure "Izzy"
has selling points.
338
00:14:23,989 --> 00:14:25,529
We just have to clarify them.
339
00:14:25,532 --> 00:14:26,872
How would you sell yourself to me?
340
00:14:26,867 --> 00:14:29,577
‐ For free. You can totally have me.
341
00:14:29,578 --> 00:14:31,708
I'll pay you to take me.
342
00:14:31,705 --> 00:14:33,075
‐ Wrong.
‐ On Etsy?
343
00:14:33,081 --> 00:14:34,251
‐ Wrong.
‐ eBay.
344
00:14:34,249 --> 00:14:35,749
‐ Wrong.
‐ It's Etsy, isn't it?
345
00:14:35,751 --> 00:14:36,751
‐ I, I meant,
346
00:14:36,752 --> 00:14:39,762
how would you sell yourself
as a person? Like, marketing.
347
00:14:40,255 --> 00:14:43,375
‐ Well, for marketing at Woom,
I usually make a pitch presentation.
348
00:14:45,636 --> 00:14:48,806
[indistinct chatter]
349
00:14:48,805 --> 00:14:50,135
‐ So, what do you think?
350
00:14:50,140 --> 00:14:52,770
‐ When you said you wanted
to surprise me with plans tonight,
351
00:14:52,768 --> 00:14:55,518
I kind of assumed, like, a chill night in,
352
00:14:55,521 --> 00:14:57,441
where we play non‐strip Uno or something.
353
00:14:57,439 --> 00:14:59,019
‐ They just call that "Uno."
354
00:14:59,024 --> 00:15:01,364
‐ I mean, I even wore my comfy clothes.
355
00:15:01,360 --> 00:15:03,650
‐ This is how you dress
when you're not trying?
356
00:15:03,654 --> 00:15:06,454
‐ Yeah.
‐ Okay. Nope.
357
00:15:06,448 --> 00:15:07,988
Follow me.
358
00:15:09,326 --> 00:15:11,746
Hi. Wiley. Party of two.
359
00:15:11,745 --> 00:15:14,365
Um, online you only had
a 4:30 p. m. reservation,
360
00:15:14,373 --> 00:15:17,173
but I called and you said
you might be able to accommodate me.
361
00:15:17,167 --> 00:15:18,497
‐ We're fully committed.
362
00:15:18,502 --> 00:15:21,172
‐ Hey. It's, uh, Stella. Fabian's friend.
363
00:15:21,171 --> 00:15:23,511
HOSTESS:
Oh, my God. I'm so sorry. Right this way.
364
00:15:26,969 --> 00:15:28,509
‐ Thank you.
365
00:15:29,137 --> 00:15:30,887
‐ I can't believe you know someone here.
366
00:15:30,889 --> 00:15:32,849
This place has been open for four days.
367
00:15:32,850 --> 00:15:35,520
‐ I went to the soft opening.
But I didn't see it from out here.
368
00:15:35,519 --> 00:15:38,439
We were in the back,
in some small private kitchen
369
00:15:38,438 --> 00:15:40,938
doing this dumb,
curated tasting menu thing
370
00:15:40,941 --> 00:15:42,531
with this stupid,
world‐renowned head chef.
371
00:15:42,526 --> 00:15:46,446
‐ Ugh. Oh, hi.
Um, could you tell us the specials?
372
00:15:46,446 --> 00:15:47,406
‐ No.
373
00:15:57,791 --> 00:15:59,791
Desalinated snake venom.
374
00:16:01,795 --> 00:16:05,295
‐ If this isn't your vibe,
we can totally do couch, takeout,
375
00:16:05,299 --> 00:16:06,969
Nutella from the jar. Seriously.
376
00:16:06,967 --> 00:16:08,797
‐ No. We're not doing that.
377
00:16:08,802 --> 00:16:09,802
We're being fun.
‐ Okay.
378
00:16:09,803 --> 00:16:13,273
‐ Now. Ahem. I feel a little weird
about having these, but...
379
00:16:14,391 --> 00:16:15,311
Here.
380
00:16:17,060 --> 00:16:18,230
‐ Sour Patch Kids?
381
00:16:18,228 --> 00:16:20,228
‐ What? No. These are...
382
00:16:20,230 --> 00:16:21,610
weed gummies.
383
00:16:21,607 --> 00:16:24,187
‐ Honey, these are Sour Patch Kids.
‐ That's impossible.
384
00:16:24,193 --> 00:16:25,903
Jeremy's cousin left them at our place
385
00:16:25,903 --> 00:16:27,743
when he was here
visiting colleges last year.
386
00:16:27,738 --> 00:16:30,908
I found them in a sketchy plastic baggie
with a note that said,
387
00:16:30,908 --> 00:16:32,738
"Enjoy your trip."
388
00:16:33,202 --> 00:16:37,712
‐ I'm guessing because his mom
packed him snacks for his trip.
389
00:16:37,706 --> 00:16:40,456
Because she's a mom,
and not a drug dealer.
390
00:16:49,384 --> 00:16:50,554
Taste like a Sour Patch Kid?
391
00:16:51,678 --> 00:16:53,468
‐ That doesn't prove anything.
392
00:16:58,310 --> 00:17:00,400
‐ Husband goals.
393
00:17:00,395 --> 00:17:02,055
Ryan Gosling.
394
00:17:02,314 --> 00:17:03,364
‐ Overdone.
395
00:17:04,024 --> 00:17:05,944
‐ Style icon.
396
00:17:05,943 --> 00:17:08,573
Kendall Jenner.
‐ Cliche.
397
00:17:08,570 --> 00:17:11,410
‐ Favorite season.
‐ Do not say fall.
398
00:17:11,406 --> 00:17:12,656
[sighing] Okay.
399
00:17:13,242 --> 00:17:14,792
Don't take this the wrong way,
400
00:17:14,785 --> 00:17:16,745
but you are the most basic bitch
I've ever seen,
401
00:17:16,745 --> 00:17:18,615
and I've been to the Museum of Ice Cream.
402
00:17:18,622 --> 00:17:21,542
But this is all so generic.
Is this stuff really even you?
403
00:17:21,542 --> 00:17:25,052
‐ I don't know anymore, okay?
404
00:17:25,045 --> 00:17:26,415
Oh, God.
405
00:17:26,421 --> 00:17:29,381
My entire life, I've just wanted to be
someone people liked,
406
00:17:29,383 --> 00:17:32,303
but I don't think that's possible for me.
407
00:17:32,302 --> 00:17:35,142
‐ Look, I don't think you're basic.
408
00:17:35,138 --> 00:17:38,138
You are fully bananas,
but you are not basic.
409
00:17:38,141 --> 00:17:41,311
And even though the amount you try
is seriously problematic most of the time,
410
00:17:41,728 --> 00:17:43,978
it at least shows that you care.
411
00:17:43,981 --> 00:17:47,651
You care about Jules,
you care about having girlfriends.
412
00:17:47,651 --> 00:17:49,701
And that is definitely not basic.
413
00:17:49,695 --> 00:17:51,815
‐ Favorite moment?
414
00:17:51,822 --> 00:17:52,872
This.
415
00:17:52,865 --> 00:17:54,945
‐ Great. You can start being Izzy again.
416
00:17:54,950 --> 00:17:56,330
‐ What do I tell everyone at work?
417
00:17:56,326 --> 00:17:59,536
I can't just reintroduce myself.
They'll have me committed.
418
00:17:59,538 --> 00:18:01,288
Or they'll un‐follow me.
419
00:18:01,290 --> 00:18:03,420
‐ You mean a relaunch.
420
00:18:03,417 --> 00:18:05,167
This I can do. Come on.
421
00:18:05,836 --> 00:18:07,496
[boat horn honks]
422
00:18:07,504 --> 00:18:10,094
‐ Okay. I realize the night's
been off to a rough start,
423
00:18:10,090 --> 00:18:12,430
but I just read about this brand‐new
nautical‐themed bar
424
00:18:12,426 --> 00:18:14,006
that's literally on this docked boat,
425
00:18:14,011 --> 00:18:15,391
and it's supposed to be really cool.
426
00:18:15,387 --> 00:18:17,177
Please tell me you haven't already been.
427
00:18:17,181 --> 00:18:19,931
‐ No. And actually this seems really dope.
428
00:18:19,933 --> 00:18:22,353
‐ Great. First round's on me.
‐ [Stella chuckles]
429
00:18:22,352 --> 00:18:24,352
♪ rock music playing ♪
430
00:18:24,354 --> 00:18:26,614
‐ Oh.
‐ Seems pretty cool.
431
00:18:26,607 --> 00:18:28,317
Good vibes.
432
00:18:28,317 --> 00:18:31,897
And the guy‐to‐lady ratio is favorable.
433
00:18:33,906 --> 00:18:35,866
Ahoy, there, sirs.
434
00:18:35,866 --> 00:18:38,866
Could you point us
in the direction of the bar?
435
00:18:40,829 --> 00:18:44,079
‐ All right. Let's get that guy
to buy us a drink. [chuckles]
436
00:18:45,334 --> 00:18:46,714
‐ Hey.
437
00:18:46,710 --> 00:18:48,390
[fishermen speaking Finnish]
438
00:19:04,937 --> 00:19:08,727
‐ Ooh. So, I think that Sour Patch Kid
is starting to hit me.
439
00:19:08,732 --> 00:19:10,692
It feels like the bar is moving.
440
00:19:10,692 --> 00:19:12,822
‐ That's because the bar is moving.
441
00:19:19,451 --> 00:19:21,871
JULES:
Okay. We're here.
442
00:19:21,870 --> 00:19:23,910
Where are we going?
443
00:19:25,958 --> 00:19:27,578
[groans softly]
444
00:19:35,050 --> 00:19:36,840
Alaska?
445
00:19:36,844 --> 00:19:39,604
Like, Alaska, Alaska?
446
00:19:39,596 --> 00:19:42,426
‐ I wonder how you say "Alaska"
in Finnish?
447
00:19:42,432 --> 00:19:43,642
‐ Alaska.
448
00:19:43,642 --> 00:19:46,652
‐ Okay. I'm not freaking out.
I could do this.
449
00:19:46,645 --> 00:19:49,055
I could be cool and fun
and not care about anything.
450
00:19:49,064 --> 00:19:51,534
You do it all the time,
and everybody loves you.
451
00:19:51,525 --> 00:19:54,815
‐ Yeah, right. I'm Stella.
I don't care about anything.
452
00:19:54,820 --> 00:19:56,610
‐ No, that's‐‐
Oh, I didn't mean it like that.
453
00:19:56,613 --> 00:19:58,203
STELLA:
No, you got it absolutely right.
454
00:19:58,198 --> 00:20:00,448
I mean, why would I care about
planning for my future
455
00:20:00,450 --> 00:20:03,410
or going to business school
when I'm a fun, party girl?
456
00:20:03,412 --> 00:20:06,712
‐ Stella, please, this is more about me
than it was about you, I swear!
457
00:20:09,084 --> 00:20:12,134
‐ Attention on deck!
This is your captain speaking.
458
00:20:12,129 --> 00:20:14,169
And shit's about to get weird.
459
00:20:15,132 --> 00:20:17,302
‐ [glass shattering]
‐ [fishermen groaning]
460
00:20:20,387 --> 00:20:22,637
[fishermen cheering]
461
00:20:23,974 --> 00:20:25,274
[fisherman whistles]
462
00:20:26,185 --> 00:20:27,895
[clanking]
463
00:20:31,398 --> 00:20:33,528
‐ Okay. You got your story down?
464
00:20:33,525 --> 00:20:35,895
‐ When this kid from my high school
came out of the closet,
465
00:20:35,903 --> 00:20:38,163
he did it in this dramatic
musical number,
466
00:20:38,155 --> 00:20:40,615
and people seemed to react really well,
467
00:20:40,616 --> 00:20:42,946
so maybe I should be doing this in song?
468
00:20:42,951 --> 00:20:45,161
‐ Okay. Let me go grab some sheet music.
469
00:20:45,162 --> 00:20:47,292
‐ Oh, my God. Really?
‐ I will slap you.
470
00:20:47,915 --> 00:20:52,665
‐ Hey, ladies. I started us off
with a bottle of sparkling rose.
471
00:20:54,171 --> 00:20:56,051
‐ Um, Alison?
472
00:20:56,048 --> 00:21:01,298
Alison, before I share another sip
of fizzy pink wine with you...
473
00:21:02,221 --> 00:21:04,561
I need to tell you guys the truth.
474
00:21:05,432 --> 00:21:08,102
My name isn't Other Alison B.
475
00:21:08,101 --> 00:21:12,481
‐ I know. It must be so hard
that I am original Alison B.,
476
00:21:12,481 --> 00:21:15,481
but you should know that "other,"
it doesn't mean less than.
477
00:21:15,484 --> 00:21:20,454
‐ No. My name is Isadora Grossman‐Levine.
478
00:21:20,447 --> 00:21:22,197
Izzy, for short.
479
00:21:22,199 --> 00:21:24,989
‐ Wait. You lied about your name?
480
00:21:24,993 --> 00:21:26,753
‐ I lied...
481
00:21:27,704 --> 00:21:29,124
for my life.
482
00:21:29,873 --> 00:21:32,043
It was the spring of my junior year,
483
00:21:32,042 --> 00:21:35,552
and I was abroad in the British Big Apple,
London,
484
00:21:35,546 --> 00:21:37,796
when I met Damien.
485
00:21:37,798 --> 00:21:39,928
It was a whirlwind romance,
486
00:21:39,925 --> 00:21:43,545
but when the semester ended,
I was ready to leave it behind.
487
00:21:43,554 --> 00:21:46,144
Damien became obsessive.
488
00:21:46,139 --> 00:21:48,179
He followed me back to America
489
00:21:48,183 --> 00:21:50,523
and showed up at my doorstep.
490
00:21:50,519 --> 00:21:53,059
He was tortured by his love for me.
491
00:21:53,063 --> 00:21:55,653
And we were afraid he might try
to hurt us both,
492
00:21:55,649 --> 00:21:56,939
like in Romeo and Juliet.
493
00:21:56,942 --> 00:21:59,282
But not the original.
The remake with Leo in it‐‐
494
00:21:59,278 --> 00:22:02,318
‐ Bring it back.
‐ The only thing I could do was disappear.
495
00:22:02,322 --> 00:22:03,572
Change my name.
496
00:22:03,574 --> 00:22:07,544
Damien went crazy trying to find me
over the years,
497
00:22:07,536 --> 00:22:10,036
but I just got word from my lawyer.
498
00:22:11,039 --> 00:22:12,959
He finally did it.
499
00:22:12,958 --> 00:22:15,748
‐ He killed himself?
‐ No, he moved to Tampa.
500
00:22:15,752 --> 00:22:18,512
And got eaten by a giant alligator.
501
00:22:18,505 --> 00:22:21,125
As much as I mourn for him...
502
00:22:22,384 --> 00:22:26,054
I am finally able to tell my story.
503
00:22:26,054 --> 00:22:28,974
And reveal who I really am.
504
00:22:28,974 --> 00:22:32,314
Isadora Grossman‐Levine...
505
00:22:32,311 --> 00:22:33,811
the first.
506
00:22:35,647 --> 00:22:37,437
‐ That is...
507
00:22:38,525 --> 00:22:40,105
So fucking cool.
508
00:22:40,110 --> 00:22:43,030
‐ No guy has every considered
murder‐suicide‐ing me.
509
00:22:43,030 --> 00:22:44,910
I'm basically disgusting.
510
00:22:44,907 --> 00:22:46,277
ALISON B.:
I'm getting another bottle.
511
00:22:46,283 --> 00:22:49,913
Izzy, you have to tell us more
about abroad.
512
00:22:49,912 --> 00:22:51,502
‐ Okay.
[chuckles softly]
513
00:22:58,086 --> 00:23:01,086
[fishermen singing in Finnish]
514
00:23:05,677 --> 00:23:07,007
JULES:
Mm.
515
00:23:07,721 --> 00:23:08,931
Mm.
516
00:23:09,515 --> 00:23:13,475
Ugh. Without a chaser,
you can really taste the potato.
517
00:23:13,477 --> 00:23:17,477
‐ Oh. Hey, why would I care
that I end up on a random fishing boat
518
00:23:17,481 --> 00:23:19,151
going thousands of miles away?
519
00:23:19,149 --> 00:23:20,939
Embrace the chaos.
520
00:23:20,943 --> 00:23:23,033
That's all anyone ever expects of me.
521
00:23:23,028 --> 00:23:25,488
You, my mom, the whole world.
Why fight it?
522
00:23:25,489 --> 00:23:28,279
‐ No, no, no. I don't think that at all.
I was just trying to show...
523
00:23:28,283 --> 00:23:30,083
that I can be fun.
524
00:23:30,077 --> 00:23:32,537
Not that you can't not be fun.
525
00:23:32,538 --> 00:23:34,248
I'm too drunk to explain this correctly.
526
00:23:34,248 --> 00:23:36,668
‐ Yeah, we are who we are, Jules.
527
00:23:36,667 --> 00:23:37,747
So fuck it.
528
00:23:37,751 --> 00:23:40,051
We may as well make the most of it.
529
00:23:40,045 --> 00:23:41,505
Frans.
‐ [singing in Finnish]
530
00:23:41,505 --> 00:23:42,755
STELLA:
I take back what I said.
531
00:23:42,756 --> 00:23:44,046
I will marry you.
532
00:23:44,049 --> 00:23:46,089
[fishermen cheering]
533
00:23:47,219 --> 00:23:48,889
[fisherman shouts in Finnish]
534
00:23:49,805 --> 00:23:52,095
‐ Ugh. I will not be a buzzkill,
I will not be a buzzkill.
535
00:23:52,099 --> 00:23:54,019
I will not be a buzzkill.
I will not be a buzzkill.
536
00:23:55,060 --> 00:23:56,350
‐ Come with me.
537
00:23:59,523 --> 00:24:02,533
[fishermen singing in Finnish]
538
00:24:04,611 --> 00:24:06,661
Do you swear to tell the truth,
even though you're no fun,
539
00:24:06,655 --> 00:24:08,485
have never been fun, and never will be?
540
00:24:08,490 --> 00:24:11,830
‐ Jules Wiley, you are charged
with murdering the buzz
541
00:24:11,827 --> 00:24:13,997
in the first degree. How do you plead?
542
00:24:13,996 --> 00:24:16,206
‐ I didn't do it! I'm not a buzzkill!
543
00:24:16,206 --> 00:24:17,666
‐ [gavel pounds]
JUDGE: Counsel,
544
00:24:17,666 --> 00:24:19,376
control your witness.
545
00:24:20,377 --> 00:24:21,877
‐ The buzz is dead, your honor.
546
00:24:21,879 --> 00:24:24,009
The only question now is...
547
00:24:24,006 --> 00:24:25,086
who did it.
548
00:24:25,090 --> 00:24:27,510
The coroner put the approximate
time of death
549
00:24:27,509 --> 00:24:31,049
between 12:06 and 12:17
in the morning.
550
00:24:31,054 --> 00:24:34,524
Ms. Wiley, can you confirm for us
where you were at that time?
551
00:24:34,516 --> 00:24:37,766
‐ I've been on the boat.
I've been drinking. I'm being fun.
552
00:24:38,562 --> 00:24:41,692
‐ Let the record show that Ms. Wiley
553
00:24:41,690 --> 00:24:44,990
has been holding the same full beer
554
00:24:44,985 --> 00:24:46,485
for the better part of an hour.
555
00:24:46,486 --> 00:24:48,776
JULES: Objection!
JUDGE: Overruled.
556
00:24:48,780 --> 00:24:51,910
‐ Judge, I'd like to enter into the record
557
00:24:51,909 --> 00:24:53,659
exhibit 2A.
558
00:24:53,660 --> 00:24:56,710
[laughing, chattering on screen]
559
00:24:58,665 --> 00:25:01,245
‐ [crowd on TV exclaiming]
‐ [jurors gasping]
560
00:25:01,251 --> 00:25:04,461
‐ June 22, 2019.
561
00:25:04,463 --> 00:25:07,133
Ms. Wiley turned the lights on
562
00:25:07,132 --> 00:25:09,342
in the middle of a house party.
563
00:25:09,343 --> 00:25:11,643
‐ That was an accident.
I was just trying to find my keys.
564
00:25:11,637 --> 00:25:13,557
‐ So you could leave the party early,
Ms. Wiley?
565
00:25:14,598 --> 00:25:17,598
What we have here,
ladies and gentlemen of the jury,
566
00:25:17,601 --> 00:25:20,561
is a pattern of behavior.
567
00:25:20,562 --> 00:25:22,772
Vibes ruined, blankets wetted.
568
00:25:22,773 --> 00:25:24,823
This woman has, over the years,
569
00:25:24,816 --> 00:25:26,986
harshed several mellows.
570
00:25:26,985 --> 00:25:31,945
And I don't think the people can rest
until justice is served.
571
00:25:31,949 --> 00:25:34,699
‐ You don't understand!
I didn't want to kill the buzz.
572
00:25:34,701 --> 00:25:36,451
I was trying not to!
573
00:25:36,453 --> 00:25:38,163
Things were just getting out of control.
574
00:25:38,163 --> 00:25:40,543
They had to be stopped.
They had to be stopped.
575
00:25:40,541 --> 00:25:43,001
They had to be... stop!
576
00:25:43,001 --> 00:25:45,001
I'm the lame one. I'm boring.
I'm a buzzkill.
577
00:25:45,003 --> 00:25:46,763
And I am getting us out of here.
578
00:25:47,464 --> 00:25:48,924
Hey, Siri?
‐[phone beeps]
579
00:25:48,924 --> 00:25:51,894
What's Finnish for
"Turn the fuck around"?
580
00:25:53,011 --> 00:25:56,931
‐ [sighs] I am starving.
581
00:25:56,932 --> 00:25:58,182
‐ Me, too.
582
00:25:58,183 --> 00:26:01,063
All I've eaten today is half a glow stick
and that Sour Patch Kid.
583
00:26:01,061 --> 00:26:02,231
[both laugh]
584
00:26:02,229 --> 00:26:05,399
[gasps] Oh, you know what sounds
really good right now?
585
00:26:05,399 --> 00:26:07,989
Pancakes.
‐ Oh, God!
586
00:26:07,985 --> 00:26:11,405
[fishermen singing in Finnish]
587
00:26:16,034 --> 00:26:19,544
♪ Girls, they wanna have fun ♪
588
00:26:19,538 --> 00:26:23,538
♪ Oh, girls just wanna have fun ♪
589
00:26:23,542 --> 00:26:24,842
‐ These are good plain.
590
00:26:26,044 --> 00:26:28,554
‐ I tried to be as fun as you
for one night.
591
00:26:28,547 --> 00:26:30,337
And I almost got us shipped off to Alaska.
592
00:26:30,340 --> 00:26:32,260
‐ Who says Alaska's not fun?
593
00:26:32,259 --> 00:26:34,719
I think the two of us could have
started something really beautiful there.
594
00:26:34,720 --> 00:26:36,100
‐ Don't you mean the three of us?
595
00:26:36,096 --> 00:26:37,846
‐ Oh, yeah. You, me, and Frans.
596
00:26:37,848 --> 00:26:40,888
But don't sell yourself short.
Gideon was totally into you.
597
00:26:41,894 --> 00:26:43,854
‐ I just wanted to come through for you.
598
00:26:43,854 --> 00:26:45,114
‐ You did.
599
00:26:45,105 --> 00:26:48,355
Something like this was actually
exactly what I wanted.
600
00:26:48,358 --> 00:26:49,738
‐ Something like pancakes?
601
00:26:49,735 --> 00:26:52,235
‐ Mm, something regular. And by regular,
602
00:26:52,237 --> 00:26:54,487
I don't mean boring. I mean real.
603
00:26:55,490 --> 00:26:58,950
‐ Well, these jackets for real
smell like tuna.
604
00:26:58,952 --> 00:27:01,292
‐ Are you kidding?
I'm gonna wear this thing all the time.
605
00:27:01,288 --> 00:27:03,038
I mean, you and Madison
have your Aruba T‐shirts.
606
00:27:03,040 --> 00:27:04,420
Now you and I have something.
607
00:27:05,667 --> 00:27:07,417
‐ So, business school?
608
00:27:08,003 --> 00:27:10,263
‐ Yeah. I don't know, I mean,
609
00:27:10,255 --> 00:27:13,215
I think there's a version of
settled‐down me I'm interested in meeting.
610
00:27:13,217 --> 00:27:15,967
Like maybe one day
I might want to run a nonprofit.
611
00:27:15,969 --> 00:27:17,759
You know you even have to go to school
612
00:27:17,763 --> 00:27:19,313
to not make companies money?
613
00:27:20,641 --> 00:27:22,681
It's very backward.
JULES: Yeah.
614
00:27:22,684 --> 00:27:25,274
‐ Where have you been?
I was freaking out.
615
00:27:25,270 --> 00:27:27,400
I texted both of you last night
and neither of you responded,
616
00:27:27,397 --> 00:27:28,937
so I've been tracking your location,
617
00:27:28,941 --> 00:27:31,361
and you've been in the middle of
the fucking ocean for the last six hours!
618
00:27:31,360 --> 00:27:32,950
‐ Yeah, it was an eventful evening.
619
00:27:32,945 --> 00:27:35,945
‐ Us, too. My fake stalker boyfriend died.
620
00:27:35,948 --> 00:27:37,658
‐ Yeah. We can call her Izzy now.
621
00:27:37,658 --> 00:27:39,328
IZZY:
I know he never existed,
622
00:27:39,326 --> 00:27:42,286
but, like, I just can't believe he's gone.
623
00:27:43,997 --> 00:27:45,957
‐ Oh, God, what is that smell?
624
00:27:45,958 --> 00:27:47,838
‐ I think my jacket.
‐ Oh, God!
625
00:27:47,835 --> 00:27:49,085
IZZY: Do you guys want‐‐
JULES: It's us.
626
00:27:49,086 --> 00:27:50,666
MADISON:
Oh, God!
627
00:27:50,671 --> 00:27:52,551
JULES: Yeah.
MADISON: Oh, God. I need some coffee.
628
00:27:52,548 --> 00:27:54,798
[all chattering]
629
00:27:54,800 --> 00:27:56,840
♪ Oh, girls just wanna have fun ♪
630
00:27:56,844 --> 00:27:59,434
♪ Girls, they wanna ♪
631
00:27:59,429 --> 00:28:01,809
♪ They wanna have fun ♪
632
00:28:01,807 --> 00:28:03,477
♪ Girls ♪
633
00:28:03,475 --> 00:28:06,185
♪ They wanna have fun ♪
634
00:28:06,186 --> 00:28:07,646
♪ Girls ♪
635
00:28:07,646 --> 00:28:10,186
♪ They wanna have fun ♪
636
00:28:10,190 --> 00:28:11,980
♪ And girls ♪
637
00:28:11,984 --> 00:28:13,574
♪ They wanna have ♪
638
00:28:13,569 --> 00:28:17,739
♪ That's all they really want ♪
639
00:28:17,739 --> 00:28:21,869
♪ Is some fun ♪
640
00:28:21,869 --> 00:28:25,209
♪ When the working day is done ♪
641
00:28:25,205 --> 00:28:28,325
♪ Oh, girls, they wanna have fun ♪
642
00:28:29,543 --> 00:28:32,883
♪ Oh, girls just wanna have fun ♪