1 00:00:01,001 --> 00:00:02,671 ♪ upbeat music playing ♪ 2 00:00:05,881 --> 00:00:09,471 ‐ And that's when I realized I'd been wrong about my face shape for years. 3 00:00:09,468 --> 00:00:11,428 It turns out it is a heart shape. 4 00:00:11,428 --> 00:00:13,848 It's just one of those hearts that's really round. 5 00:00:13,847 --> 00:00:17,017 ‐ Wow, that's crazy, and a very interesting conclusion 6 00:00:17,017 --> 00:00:19,477 to why you thought the Gilmore Girls revival was a failure. 7 00:00:19,478 --> 00:00:21,978 ‐ Ladies, join us in the conversation pit. 8 00:00:25,484 --> 00:00:27,954 We were just sharing our personal mission statements 9 00:00:27,945 --> 00:00:29,855 for the employee wellness retreat this weekend. 10 00:00:29,863 --> 00:00:31,493 IZZY: Oh my gosh, amaze. 11 00:00:31,490 --> 00:00:34,740 Okay, so mine is gonna be to be more confident. 12 00:00:34,743 --> 00:00:38,043 Wait, no. Um, less indecisive. 13 00:00:38,038 --> 00:00:39,208 Actually, I'm not sure. 14 00:00:39,206 --> 00:00:41,326 ALISON B.: Mine's to do a full digital detox. 15 00:00:41,333 --> 00:00:43,793 Celeste's beach house has lightning‐fast Wi‐Fi, 16 00:00:43,794 --> 00:00:46,514 but the only connecting I'll be doing is with Mother Nature 17 00:00:46,505 --> 00:00:49,045 and my gorgeous colleagues. 18 00:00:49,049 --> 00:00:51,889 Jules, it was such a bummer that you had to miss last year's retreat. 19 00:00:51,885 --> 00:00:53,385 And the one before that. 20 00:00:53,387 --> 00:00:56,267 ‐ I know. I really hope there's not another specific reason 21 00:00:56,265 --> 00:00:57,975 why you can't come this year. 22 00:00:57,975 --> 00:01:01,225 ‐ Ooh, yeah, um... [clears throat] about that. 23 00:01:01,228 --> 00:01:03,438 ANNOUNCER: Good afternoon and welcome to the fifth annual running 24 00:01:03,438 --> 00:01:06,318 of "What excuse will Jules use to get out of attending the company retreat?" 25 00:01:06,316 --> 00:01:09,396 Jules has been making tremendous headway these last few months, 26 00:01:09,403 --> 00:01:11,323 getting closer with her friends in and outside of work. 27 00:01:11,321 --> 00:01:13,281 But this event really stands to solidify 28 00:01:13,282 --> 00:01:15,332 her position as, quote, "one of the girls." 29 00:01:15,325 --> 00:01:17,035 ‐ [bell rings] ‐ And they're off! 30 00:01:17,035 --> 00:01:20,455 ‐ Um... [clears throat] the thing about this weekend is, uh... 31 00:01:20,455 --> 00:01:22,165 ANNOUNCER: It's Grandma's Funeral up in front 32 00:01:22,165 --> 00:01:24,375 with Food Poisoning half a length behind! ‐ Come on! 33 00:01:24,376 --> 00:01:27,456 ‐ There's a situation, um, with my bathroom. 34 00:01:27,462 --> 00:01:30,472 ANNOUNCER: And here comes Plumbing Issues looking strong out of the first turn. 35 00:01:30,465 --> 00:01:33,045 ‐ Obviously I would love, ahem, to attend the retreat, um... 36 00:01:33,051 --> 00:01:35,221 ANNOUNCER: Plumbing Issues is trailed by the rest of the pack. 37 00:01:35,220 --> 00:01:39,220 Nephew's Bar Mitzvah, Totally Forgot, and Parents in Town bringing up the rear! 38 00:01:39,224 --> 00:01:41,774 Wait a minute, out of nowhere, a dark horse is picking up speed! 39 00:01:41,768 --> 00:01:43,268 It's She's Gonna Go! 40 00:01:43,270 --> 00:01:45,610 Into the final straightaway, it's She's Gonna Go for third! 41 00:01:45,606 --> 00:01:48,396 ‐ And that's why this year I'm... 42 00:01:48,400 --> 00:01:50,360 ‐ She's Gonna Go for second! ...going. 43 00:01:50,360 --> 00:01:52,320 ‐ She's Gonna Go for the win by a nose! 44 00:01:52,321 --> 00:01:54,741 [gamblers groan] 45 00:01:54,740 --> 00:01:57,780 ♪ theme song plays ♪ 46 00:01:57,784 --> 00:02:00,754 ‐ The retreat is gonna be way more fun with you there, Jules. 47 00:02:00,746 --> 00:02:04,786 I was so over being the only one without a partner for couples' colonics last year. 48 00:02:04,791 --> 00:02:06,251 ‐ Uggh! ‐ What? 49 00:02:06,251 --> 00:02:08,251 The email said to pack athletic wear. 50 00:02:08,253 --> 00:02:10,263 ‐ Did it say pack athletic wear 51 00:02:10,255 --> 00:02:12,255 for a nine‐year‐old boy on his way to soccer practice? 52 00:02:12,257 --> 00:02:13,587 'Cause that's what this is. 53 00:02:15,135 --> 00:02:18,595 ‐ Uh, can I help you with my mail? STELLA: No, I'm good. 54 00:02:18,597 --> 00:02:21,677 ‐ Oh, so we're just committing casual felonies now. 55 00:02:21,683 --> 00:02:23,643 ‐ No, I get my mail sent here sometimes, you know that. 56 00:02:23,644 --> 00:02:25,154 ‐ I feel certain that I didn't. 57 00:02:25,145 --> 00:02:28,315 ‐ You're just a person that doesn't lose important bills and documents and stuff. 58 00:02:28,315 --> 00:02:29,435 ‐ So, a person? 59 00:02:29,441 --> 00:02:33,111 ‐ Oh look, time to get your teeth cleaned. ‐ Oh, man. 60 00:02:33,111 --> 00:02:34,861 Hey, I liked that. 61 00:02:34,863 --> 00:02:36,373 ‐ Oh, no, you're right. It's too cruel. 62 00:02:36,365 --> 00:02:39,025 ‐ Thank you. ‐ No, I meant for the people of Goodwill. 63 00:02:39,034 --> 00:02:43,084 ‐ Oh, my God, Stella, are you pen pals with George Clooney? 64 00:02:43,080 --> 00:02:44,410 ‐ No, no. Amal. 65 00:02:44,414 --> 00:02:47,294 What I really need are business school acceptance letters. 66 00:02:47,292 --> 00:02:49,002 ‐ Look, you're gonna get somewhere great. 67 00:02:49,002 --> 00:02:51,212 It's all gonna work out, 'cause life is amazing. 68 00:02:51,213 --> 00:02:52,673 Holy shitballs, nope! 69 00:02:52,673 --> 00:02:55,473 ‐ Okay, you're officially having too much fun with this. 70 00:02:55,467 --> 00:02:56,927 ‐ What? I'm in a good mood. 71 00:02:56,927 --> 00:02:59,597 You know, that can happen when your hot, successful older boyfriend 72 00:02:59,596 --> 00:03:01,466 tells you he loves you. ‐ Oooh! 73 00:03:01,473 --> 00:03:03,523 ‐ Wow! ‐ It's no big deal. 74 00:03:03,517 --> 00:03:06,977 We're just two mature adults who just happen to have discovered 75 00:03:06,979 --> 00:03:08,359 that our souls mesh perfectly 76 00:03:08,355 --> 00:03:11,065 in a delicate symphony of desire and spiritual fulfillment. 77 00:03:11,066 --> 00:03:13,566 ‐ Well, I'm very happy for you. 78 00:03:13,569 --> 00:03:15,399 ‐ Thank you. And I'm very happy for you. 79 00:03:15,404 --> 00:03:18,284 Seriously, Jules, it's a big deal that you're going to this retreat. 80 00:03:18,282 --> 00:03:20,372 I mean, you've really been putting in the effort to be 81 00:03:20,367 --> 00:03:23,157 a functioning woman with actual friends who are not her cat. 82 00:03:23,161 --> 00:03:26,621 ‐ Yeah, I feel like I have been doing amazing at being a girl lately. 83 00:03:26,623 --> 00:03:28,423 ‐ Eeh, no one said that. ‐ Slow your roll. 84 00:03:28,417 --> 00:03:31,667 ‐ You thought a Bioré strip was that land between Israel and Egypt. 85 00:03:31,670 --> 00:03:34,670 ‐ For me. Amazing for me. 86 00:03:34,673 --> 00:03:36,553 I just have to go in there with an open mind. 87 00:03:36,550 --> 00:03:40,390 IMELDA: We need to do more than open our minds. 88 00:03:40,387 --> 00:03:43,807 We need to release our breath 89 00:03:43,807 --> 00:03:47,517 and engage our pelvic floor. 90 00:03:48,061 --> 00:03:50,311 ‐ [goat bleating] IMELDA: Let the goats absorb 91 00:03:50,314 --> 00:03:52,114 the negative energy. 92 00:03:52,107 --> 00:03:53,437 [goat bleats] 93 00:03:55,110 --> 00:03:58,910 Ladies, let's give a warm welcome to Imelda, 94 00:03:58,906 --> 00:04:03,036 who is leading us as retreat mother for the fourth year in a row. 95 00:04:03,035 --> 00:04:04,655 [goats bleating] 96 00:04:06,538 --> 00:04:09,878 I am so very happy to be back here at my Malibu home, 97 00:04:09,875 --> 00:04:13,795 perfectly situated between beach and forest, 98 00:04:13,795 --> 00:04:16,255 sand and sky... ‐ [goat bleating] 99 00:04:16,256 --> 00:04:21,546 ‐ ...the drummer of Imagine Dragons and the heir to the Capri Sun fortune. 100 00:04:21,553 --> 00:04:23,223 Humble head, Jules. 101 00:04:23,222 --> 00:04:27,352 Hosting this retreat every year is such an honor for you girls 102 00:04:27,351 --> 00:04:30,311 that I only wish I had someone like me in my life 103 00:04:30,312 --> 00:04:32,902 to be the person that I am for you. 104 00:04:33,357 --> 00:04:38,777 But since I cannot be me, I have Imelda. 105 00:04:38,779 --> 00:04:43,369 ‐ Every experience is a birth. 106 00:04:45,118 --> 00:04:47,578 Except for birth. 107 00:04:48,330 --> 00:04:51,630 Which is a continuation. Continuation. 108 00:04:52,501 --> 00:04:56,171 Now let's inhale for a violent scream. 109 00:04:56,171 --> 00:04:57,971 [inhales sharply] 110 00:04:58,715 --> 00:05:03,345 ♪ women singing in African language ♪ 111 00:05:05,138 --> 00:05:07,138 ♪ rhythmic African music playing ♪ 112 00:05:20,112 --> 00:05:22,952 [music continues, gulls calling] 113 00:05:27,995 --> 00:05:30,455 ‐ Laura's floating pretty far out. 114 00:05:30,455 --> 00:05:32,825 ‐ Laura's meditating, Jules. We shouldn't interrupt her. 115 00:05:32,833 --> 00:05:34,753 ‐ She's on her own journey. 116 00:05:35,878 --> 00:05:37,748 ♪ music continues ♪ 117 00:05:42,134 --> 00:05:44,144 [Alison B. whimpering] 118 00:05:44,136 --> 00:05:45,386 [Imelda humming] 119 00:05:45,387 --> 00:05:49,847 ‐ That is what the ostrich represented, you do love your sister. 120 00:05:49,850 --> 00:05:53,060 ‐ I do! I really do! 121 00:05:56,523 --> 00:05:58,403 ‐ Nourish yourselves, ladies. 122 00:06:00,903 --> 00:06:02,073 ‐ She's ready. 123 00:06:02,070 --> 00:06:03,950 ‐ Oh, good. 124 00:06:06,408 --> 00:06:08,828 ‐ Um... has anyone seen Laura? 125 00:06:09,828 --> 00:06:11,788 [gong sounds] 126 00:06:11,788 --> 00:06:15,248 ‐ Have you ever had your energy read before? 127 00:06:15,250 --> 00:06:18,840 ‐ No, actually. But it was either this or cervical acupuncture. 128 00:06:18,837 --> 00:06:22,127 ‐ Shhhh. Speech disrupts the work. 129 00:06:22,132 --> 00:06:24,512 ‐ Sorry. I mean you did ask me a question‐‐ 130 00:06:24,510 --> 00:06:25,510 ‐ Did I? ‐ Yes. 131 00:06:25,511 --> 00:06:26,641 ‐ Shhhhh. 132 00:06:28,055 --> 00:06:32,095 I'm now going to begin to penetrate your auric shield. 133 00:06:33,101 --> 00:06:35,101 You may have a very intense reaction. 134 00:06:36,021 --> 00:06:39,481 Try to remain calm, even though this will be very frightening. 135 00:06:41,693 --> 00:06:44,283 [chanting loudly] 136 00:06:46,657 --> 00:06:51,497 I'm sensing something. Let's try to help it emerge. 137 00:06:51,495 --> 00:06:53,285 [chanting] 138 00:06:56,708 --> 00:06:58,168 There's something inside you. 139 00:06:59,628 --> 00:07:00,708 A seed. 140 00:07:01,213 --> 00:07:03,723 It's incubating. Growing. 141 00:07:03,715 --> 00:07:07,925 It will get bigger and bigger until one day, it will be born. 142 00:07:07,928 --> 00:07:10,598 ‐ You know what? Um, as much as I'm loving 143 00:07:10,597 --> 00:07:13,097 this very intense, uh, scary prolonged face touching, 144 00:07:13,100 --> 00:07:16,650 I think we're all late to stuff a lavender pouch, you know? 145 00:07:16,645 --> 00:07:19,725 Because, as you know, uh, they don't stuff themselves. 146 00:07:19,731 --> 00:07:21,781 [chuckles] Shall we, ladies? 147 00:07:21,775 --> 00:07:23,815 IMELDA: One more thing. 148 00:07:23,819 --> 00:07:28,409 Once this energy is given life, everything you know will have to change. 149 00:07:28,407 --> 00:07:31,737 ‐ Cool, cool. Very chill note to end on. 150 00:07:36,540 --> 00:07:38,170 ‐ Wanna know when you're gonna die? 151 00:07:38,166 --> 00:07:40,746 ‐ Oh, um, no thank you. ‐ Okay. 152 00:07:43,255 --> 00:07:46,085 ‐ Oh, hey, Celeste. Sorry, I was just gonna get a glass of water. 153 00:07:46,550 --> 00:07:48,890 ‐ Jules, the pH water's in the fridge. 154 00:07:49,469 --> 00:07:52,099 So... how's your retreat? 155 00:07:52,097 --> 00:07:54,307 Are you loving the experience of being here? 156 00:07:54,308 --> 00:07:56,228 Are you thriving? ‐ Oh, yeah. 157 00:07:56,226 --> 00:07:57,846 Um... absolutely. 158 00:07:59,062 --> 00:08:02,322 My experience has been the thriviest. 159 00:08:02,316 --> 00:08:05,486 ‐ Jules, I know you don't normally join us. 160 00:08:05,485 --> 00:08:07,985 Is it the other girls. Are you feeling excluded? 161 00:08:07,988 --> 00:08:09,868 ‐ No. Um, no, not at all. 162 00:08:09,865 --> 00:08:12,115 I've really liked getting closer to the girls at work. 163 00:08:12,117 --> 00:08:16,037 ‐ It is so important to have women in your life that you can rely on. 164 00:08:16,038 --> 00:08:18,958 ‐ Yeah, I've definitely learned that lately. 165 00:08:19,666 --> 00:08:22,786 I actually went through a breakup earlier this year. 166 00:08:22,794 --> 00:08:24,764 Um, I was dating Ramona Hess's brother? 167 00:08:24,755 --> 00:08:27,835 ‐ Oh, I love Ramona. She's getting married this spring. 168 00:08:27,841 --> 00:08:29,971 ‐ Yeah. Actually she was the one 169 00:08:29,968 --> 00:08:32,468 who recommended me when I first got my job at Woom. 170 00:08:32,471 --> 00:08:35,141 ‐ Well, I'm sorry to hear about your breakup, 171 00:08:35,140 --> 00:08:37,940 but it's really important for you to focus on your career right now. 172 00:08:37,935 --> 00:08:41,185 Relationships are hard, especially for strong women. 173 00:08:41,897 --> 00:08:45,227 [sighs] I'd be lying if I said that Woom hadn't gotten in the way of my marriage. 174 00:08:45,234 --> 00:08:49,404 ‐ Oh, yeah, you're... you're married. I don't think I've ever met your husband. 175 00:08:49,404 --> 00:08:51,574 ‐ He's allergic to the limelight, that one. 176 00:08:51,573 --> 00:08:54,083 He mostly hides out here to be close to the hospital 177 00:08:54,076 --> 00:08:56,746 and I stay at our penthouse to be near work. 178 00:08:56,745 --> 00:08:58,535 I mean, it isn't perfect. 179 00:08:58,539 --> 00:09:02,289 He wanted kids, but Woom is my baby, so... 180 00:09:03,293 --> 00:09:04,633 I will say this, though: 181 00:09:04,628 --> 00:09:07,878 if someone is your person, you will find a way to make things work. 182 00:09:07,881 --> 00:09:09,761 That's what Colin and I have done. 183 00:09:11,260 --> 00:09:13,390 ‐ Someone talking about me? 184 00:09:13,387 --> 00:09:14,717 CELESTE: Were you eavesdropping? 185 00:09:15,305 --> 00:09:17,515 I didn't say anything bad that wasn't true. 186 00:09:17,516 --> 00:09:20,726 ‐ Just grabbing a beer. I know, I know, no boys allowed. 187 00:09:21,562 --> 00:09:24,692 Whoa! Thank you. Quite an arm on that one. 188 00:09:24,690 --> 00:09:26,360 When are you going to finally take my suggestion 189 00:09:26,358 --> 00:09:28,318 and start that company softball team? 190 00:09:28,318 --> 00:09:30,318 ‐ Don't start with the softball team again. 191 00:09:30,320 --> 00:09:31,820 ‐ Fine, fine, I get it. 192 00:09:31,822 --> 00:09:35,622 You don't want my male energy interrupting the sacred space of femininity. 193 00:09:41,999 --> 00:09:45,169 ‐ Oh, Jules. You look sick. 194 00:09:45,169 --> 00:09:48,209 ‐ No, I'm, um‐‐ Excuse me. 195 00:09:57,973 --> 00:09:59,773 [vomiting, coughing] 196 00:10:02,060 --> 00:10:03,400 ‐ Poor Jules. 197 00:10:04,438 --> 00:10:06,358 ‐ Oh, God, I can't believe this is happening. 198 00:10:06,356 --> 00:10:08,476 ‐ I know. It's unbelievable. 199 00:10:09,568 --> 00:10:12,948 ‐ Wait. You know? ‐ Yes. It's what Imelda said. 200 00:10:12,946 --> 00:10:16,156 The life force growing inside of you, the puking, 201 00:10:16,158 --> 00:10:18,368 your recent rampant casual sex. 202 00:10:18,368 --> 00:10:19,908 ‐ "Rampant" is a strong word. 203 00:10:19,912 --> 00:10:22,542 ‐ It's obvious you're pregnant. 204 00:10:22,539 --> 00:10:24,039 I do hope it's a girl. 205 00:10:24,041 --> 00:10:26,841 ‐ Well, I hope it's a nothing because that's crazy. 206 00:10:26,835 --> 00:10:28,705 I mean, I don't feel sick because some woman 207 00:10:28,712 --> 00:10:30,672 who makes her own deodorant thinks I'm pregnant. 208 00:10:30,672 --> 00:10:33,592 I feel sick because I was in the kitchen with Celeste and I saw... 209 00:10:34,092 --> 00:10:37,182 Um... It doesn't matter. Uh... 210 00:10:37,179 --> 00:10:39,259 I just don't feel good. 211 00:10:39,973 --> 00:10:43,693 ‐ You know what's not an effective form of birth control, Jules? 212 00:10:43,685 --> 00:10:45,015 Denial. 213 00:10:45,020 --> 00:10:47,940 This girl I went to college with, Ashley Zamora, 214 00:10:47,940 --> 00:10:50,730 started gaining all this weight sophomore winter 215 00:10:50,734 --> 00:10:55,074 and everyone was like, "Oh, don't worry, it's just the stress of finals," 216 00:10:55,072 --> 00:10:58,492 and then one night she had really bad stomach cramps... 217 00:10:58,492 --> 00:11:02,202 [snaps fingers] had a surprise baby at the Sigma Nu Spaghetti Dinner. 218 00:11:02,204 --> 00:11:04,754 ‐ Fine, I'll... take a test, 219 00:11:04,748 --> 00:11:08,288 but "something growing inside me that needs to come out" 220 00:11:08,293 --> 00:11:09,673 might not be a baby. 221 00:11:09,670 --> 00:11:11,460 It might be a piece of information 222 00:11:11,463 --> 00:11:13,553 that you really, really, really need to tell someone, 223 00:11:13,549 --> 00:11:16,889 but you have no idea how because it could ruin her entire life. 224 00:11:16,885 --> 00:11:20,175 ‐ "Ruin." That could be a really pretty girl's name. 225 00:11:20,180 --> 00:11:22,470 ‐ You know what, I'm gonna go home early. 226 00:11:25,185 --> 00:11:28,605 ‐ You could spell it with two O's. That is so cute. 227 00:11:32,276 --> 00:11:33,776 ‐ Two minutes. 228 00:11:36,196 --> 00:11:37,776 Two minutes. 229 00:11:38,073 --> 00:11:40,623 That's not long. How long has it been? 230 00:11:41,410 --> 00:11:43,410 Fourteen seconds? Are you fucking kidding me? 231 00:11:44,288 --> 00:11:47,078 Okay, calm down. [clears throat] Calm down. 232 00:11:47,082 --> 00:11:50,542 You feel sick because of Colin. You are not pregnant. 233 00:11:50,544 --> 00:11:51,964 You're on birth control. 234 00:11:51,962 --> 00:11:55,842 This test has no purpose other than to give you peace of mind. 235 00:11:55,841 --> 00:11:56,841 Like vitamins. 236 00:11:58,886 --> 00:12:00,006 ‐ [timer beeps] ‐ [whimpers] 237 00:12:06,894 --> 00:12:08,564 [sighs] Oh, thank God. 238 00:12:09,646 --> 00:12:12,356 This is officially the most beautiful thing I've ever peed on. 239 00:12:14,276 --> 00:12:16,026 ‐ Hey! ‐ Aaah. 240 00:12:16,028 --> 00:12:18,908 Madison, what are you doing here? 241 00:12:20,199 --> 00:12:23,329 ‐ Well, Izzy said you came home sick and said I should check to see 242 00:12:23,327 --> 00:12:25,867 if you gave any more thought to her spaghetti dinner story? 243 00:12:25,871 --> 00:12:27,041 What's going on? 244 00:12:27,039 --> 00:12:28,369 ‐ Oh, it's nothing. 245 00:12:32,503 --> 00:12:34,003 ‐ Oh, my God, are you pregnant? 246 00:12:34,004 --> 00:12:36,344 ‐ What? Uh, no, no. 247 00:12:37,257 --> 00:12:39,217 ‐ Well then what's wrong, something else? 248 00:12:39,218 --> 00:12:41,548 ‐ No, no, no. No, no, no. It's definitely not something else. 249 00:12:41,553 --> 00:12:43,013 MADISON: Jules! ‐ Uh... 250 00:12:43,013 --> 00:12:45,683 So it has to be the first thing. 251 00:12:47,935 --> 00:12:50,395 ‐ Oh, oh, my God. Come here. 252 00:12:51,271 --> 00:12:52,981 Oh, my God. 253 00:12:54,024 --> 00:12:56,284 Wait. Wait, how did that happen, don't you have an IUD? 254 00:12:57,528 --> 00:13:02,198 Yeah, but, uh, I think the doctor put it in backwards or something? 255 00:13:02,199 --> 00:13:04,029 She's a lefty, so... 256 00:13:04,034 --> 00:13:07,544 ‐ Well, look, whatever you decide, I'm here for you, okay? 257 00:13:07,538 --> 00:13:09,158 God, you must be freaking out. 258 00:13:09,164 --> 00:13:10,544 ‐ Yeah, I definitely am. 259 00:13:10,541 --> 00:13:14,591 I mean, I feel like out of nowhere today I got saddled with this... 260 00:13:14,586 --> 00:13:17,126 situation that I didn't ask for 261 00:13:17,130 --> 00:13:19,630 and I feel completely unprepared for how to handle. 262 00:13:19,633 --> 00:13:21,893 ‐ Well, just remember: you have options. 263 00:13:21,885 --> 00:13:23,885 ‐ It doesn't feel like I do. 264 00:13:23,887 --> 00:13:27,307 ‐ Jules, it's 2019. You have a choice. 265 00:13:27,307 --> 00:13:31,767 But, if you really feel that way, look, I know you'll be able to handle it. 266 00:13:31,770 --> 00:13:33,190 You'd be a great mom. 267 00:13:33,188 --> 00:13:34,768 ‐ Ha, what makes you say that? 268 00:13:35,607 --> 00:13:37,397 ‐ You're a great friend. 269 00:13:39,236 --> 00:13:40,236 [sighs] 270 00:13:40,237 --> 00:13:41,567 Morning sickness? 271 00:13:41,572 --> 00:13:42,612 ‐ Something like that. 272 00:13:42,614 --> 00:13:44,914 [ringtone chiming] 273 00:13:45,826 --> 00:13:47,326 ‐ Hey, Stell. 274 00:13:47,327 --> 00:13:51,667 ‐ You guys, I'm at USC. And I'm celebrating! 275 00:13:51,665 --> 00:13:53,205 ‐ Oh, my God. Did you hear about business school? 276 00:13:53,208 --> 00:13:55,668 ‐ Did you get in? ‐ No, I got rejected, 277 00:13:55,669 --> 00:13:58,089 but I did get accepted into doing 278 00:13:58,088 --> 00:14:01,048 whatever the fuck I want for the next two years. 279 00:14:01,049 --> 00:14:02,469 And also forever. 280 00:14:02,467 --> 00:14:05,427 ‐ Stella, I don't think campus is the best place for you right now. 281 00:14:05,429 --> 00:14:08,019 Look, I'm gonna send a Lyft to take you back to Jules's, okay? 282 00:14:08,015 --> 00:14:11,225 ‐ No, no, no, I have to stay here, I have to talk to the Dean. 283 00:14:11,226 --> 00:14:13,896 I have to face my demons. 284 00:14:14,479 --> 00:14:16,269 My dean‐a‐mons. My dean demons? 285 00:14:16,273 --> 00:14:18,323 My de... My de... [laughing] 286 00:14:18,317 --> 00:14:19,687 My deanamons. ‐ [phone beeping] 287 00:14:19,693 --> 00:14:22,203 ‐ Okay, look, I promise to help you deal with this, 288 00:14:22,196 --> 00:14:24,906 but I think we have to go get Stella, she's had way too much to drink. 289 00:14:24,907 --> 00:14:27,027 ‐ Yeah, I could use a drink myself. ‐ Jules! 290 00:14:27,034 --> 00:14:30,084 ‐ Right. Because I'm super pregnant. 291 00:14:30,078 --> 00:14:31,958 So, never mind. 292 00:14:35,792 --> 00:14:38,422 ♪ hip‐hop playing ♪ 293 00:14:38,420 --> 00:14:42,420 ‐ Oh, whatcha got there... economics? 294 00:14:42,841 --> 00:14:44,431 Supply and demand? 295 00:14:44,426 --> 00:14:48,386 More like suck a dick, am I right? ‐ Uh... hey, Stell. 296 00:14:48,388 --> 00:14:52,228 ‐ I'm just telling these children to get all the knowledge they can 297 00:14:52,226 --> 00:14:54,386 because they might not be able to come back. 298 00:14:54,394 --> 00:14:57,194 I guess they don't teach you to listen in college these days. 299 00:14:57,189 --> 00:14:58,359 [hisses] MADISON: Okay, okay. 300 00:14:58,357 --> 00:15:00,977 Let's leave Gen Z alone for a minute. Let's sit down. 301 00:15:00,984 --> 00:15:02,194 [Stella sighs] 302 00:15:02,194 --> 00:15:06,994 ‐ You know, I really thought that I was smart enough to get in, but I was wrong. 303 00:15:06,990 --> 00:15:08,780 ‐ Stella, this is one school. 304 00:15:08,784 --> 00:15:10,744 You still have a bunch you haven't heard back from yet. 305 00:15:10,744 --> 00:15:12,704 ‐ But this was my safety school. 306 00:15:12,704 --> 00:15:17,214 Okay? And your safety school is supposed to be like your back burner guy, 307 00:15:17,209 --> 00:15:19,799 like Scotty with the neck tattoo. 308 00:15:20,420 --> 00:15:24,680 If Scotty with the neck tattoo doesn't want to fuck you, then you're done. 309 00:15:24,675 --> 00:15:28,885 ‐ Babe! Scotty with the neck tattoo is always gonna wanna fuck you. 310 00:15:28,887 --> 00:15:31,307 His neck tattoo is of you. 311 00:15:31,306 --> 00:15:33,886 ‐ I don't wanna be on these steps anymore. I wanna go to class. 312 00:15:33,892 --> 00:15:36,352 MADISON: Okay, wait, Stella, it's nighttime, there is no class. 313 00:15:36,353 --> 00:15:39,573 Look, I can deal with this if you're too overwhelmed by, you know, everything. 314 00:15:39,565 --> 00:15:42,185 ‐ Oh, I'm fine. We just have to get her to bed. 315 00:15:42,734 --> 00:15:46,114 ‐ You're right. She's about to transition from fun drunk to sad drunk. 316 00:15:46,738 --> 00:15:47,868 [Stella sobbing] 317 00:15:47,865 --> 00:15:50,025 It's okay, Stell. It's okay, you're okay. 318 00:15:50,033 --> 00:15:53,833 ‐ I'm not good enough for business school. 319 00:15:53,829 --> 00:15:56,329 I'm just a beautiful idiot like... 320 00:15:56,540 --> 00:15:58,540 James Franco! 321 00:15:58,542 --> 00:16:01,552 ‐ You are not James Franco, Stella. 322 00:16:01,545 --> 00:16:02,835 STELLA: I am! 323 00:16:02,838 --> 00:16:06,128 I mean, everyone thinks I've not done anything with my life 324 00:16:06,133 --> 00:16:08,593 because I'm fun and I don't want to, 325 00:16:08,594 --> 00:16:13,724 but now everyone's gonna know the truth that I always knew... that I'm stupid! 326 00:16:13,724 --> 00:16:16,524 ‐ Oh, Stella, please, no one thinks that. 327 00:16:16,518 --> 00:16:18,478 ‐ No, don't gimme a hug! 328 00:16:18,478 --> 00:16:21,358 Just admit that I'm stupid or leave me alone. 329 00:16:21,356 --> 00:16:23,066 ‐ We have got to get her to bed. 330 00:16:23,066 --> 00:16:24,646 ‐ [both] Oh, no, no, no, no! 331 00:16:24,651 --> 00:16:26,861 ‐ You're holding her wrong, you have to support her head. 332 00:16:26,862 --> 00:16:29,242 ‐ Guess my maternal instincts haven't kicked in yet. 333 00:16:29,907 --> 00:16:31,867 ‐ This is why we needed to feed her. 334 00:16:31,867 --> 00:16:33,827 She's never gonna go down if she has an empty stomach. 335 00:16:33,827 --> 00:16:35,197 ‐ Fine, gimme the Taco Bell. 336 00:16:35,204 --> 00:16:38,834 ‐ I don't want Taco Bell! I wanna be a busi‐ness student. 337 00:16:38,832 --> 00:16:41,042 ‐ I know, sweetie. I know. 338 00:16:41,043 --> 00:16:43,963 Look... can you take a sip of this for me? 339 00:16:43,962 --> 00:16:46,222 Good, open up, open up. ‐ There you go. 340 00:16:48,342 --> 00:16:50,472 MADISON: Oh! She's spitting up! 341 00:16:50,469 --> 00:16:53,139 ‐ Okay. ‐ Test it first. It might be too hot. 342 00:16:53,138 --> 00:16:55,138 ‐ [Stella sighs] MADISON: It's okay, I know. 343 00:16:55,140 --> 00:16:56,480 ‐ No, it's mild. ‐ [Stella sobs] 344 00:16:56,475 --> 00:16:58,015 MADISON: Okay, here you go, Stella. 345 00:16:58,018 --> 00:17:00,478 ‐ Oh, thank God she's finally settling. ‐ Okay. 346 00:17:00,479 --> 00:17:03,689 ‐ I wanted a Cheesy Gordita Crunch! ‐ [both] No, Stella, bad! 347 00:17:03,690 --> 00:17:05,860 ‐ Bad, Stella, no! ‐ Stella, that's very bad! 348 00:17:05,859 --> 00:17:08,149 ‐ Okay, you know, it is time to go to bed. ‐ No! 349 00:17:08,153 --> 00:17:10,033 ‐ I will read you memes until you fall asleep. 350 00:17:10,030 --> 00:17:12,240 [whispering] She's gonna be a nightmare tomorrow. 351 00:17:21,625 --> 00:17:22,705 [sighs] 352 00:17:23,585 --> 00:17:25,085 [power switch clangs] 353 00:17:25,087 --> 00:17:27,257 [metallic rattling] 354 00:17:30,175 --> 00:17:32,505 ‐ What's happening? 355 00:17:32,511 --> 00:17:33,891 ‐ [cart creaking] ‐ Just breathe. 356 00:17:33,887 --> 00:17:36,267 You're going to be fine. It's just a tiny secret 357 00:17:36,265 --> 00:17:39,345 that will destroy a relationship and a marriage. 358 00:17:39,351 --> 00:17:42,061 ‐ Oh, I can't tell her. It's gonna be too painful. 359 00:17:42,062 --> 00:17:44,152 ‐ It's gonna come out, one way or the other. 360 00:17:44,147 --> 00:17:45,767 ‐ But I'm not ready yet. 361 00:17:45,774 --> 00:17:49,244 ‐ Jules, you have to push, okay? Push. 362 00:17:51,572 --> 00:17:53,952 ‐ Ruin! As in you're gonna ruin Madison's life. 363 00:17:57,536 --> 00:18:00,706 ‐ Please, I don't wanna do this. I'm scared. 364 00:18:00,706 --> 00:18:03,166 ‐ Now, now, it's gonna be okay. 365 00:18:10,132 --> 00:18:12,132 ‐ No! 366 00:18:12,134 --> 00:18:13,184 ‐ Are you okay? 367 00:18:13,177 --> 00:18:15,387 You're gonna wake up Stella. I just got her down. 368 00:18:20,267 --> 00:18:23,017 Wait... Wait, this is negative. 369 00:18:23,020 --> 00:18:25,110 ‐ Oh... It is? 370 00:18:25,105 --> 00:18:27,645 ‐ Yeah. You're not pregnant. 371 00:18:28,192 --> 00:18:29,402 Okay, what is going on? 372 00:18:29,401 --> 00:18:32,321 ‐ Uh, I... must have read it wrong. 373 00:18:32,321 --> 00:18:35,241 ‐ [stammering] What, you read it wrong? It says "not pregnant." 374 00:18:35,240 --> 00:18:38,910 ‐ Um... You know, it's getting so late. 375 00:18:38,911 --> 00:18:40,791 ‐ Jules, we're not gonna not talk about this. 376 00:18:40,787 --> 00:18:43,497 ‐ It's nothing. ‐ No, you lied about being pregnant all night. 377 00:18:43,498 --> 00:18:46,378 It's obviously something. What is going on? Tell me. 378 00:18:46,376 --> 00:18:47,746 ‐ I can't. ‐ Jules! 379 00:18:47,753 --> 00:18:50,093 ‐ Colin's married! 380 00:18:50,088 --> 00:18:51,628 ‐ Yeah, I know that. 381 00:18:51,632 --> 00:18:52,802 He's separated. 382 00:18:52,799 --> 00:18:55,509 ‐ No... he's still married. 383 00:18:56,512 --> 00:18:57,642 To Celeste. 384 00:18:58,847 --> 00:19:01,267 ‐ Celeste? Like... 385 00:19:01,266 --> 00:19:02,676 Like your boss? 386 00:19:03,519 --> 00:19:06,149 Wait, no! No, no, no! [stammering] I've always said 387 00:19:06,146 --> 00:19:08,726 I didn't wanna know who his ex‐wife was. 388 00:19:08,732 --> 00:19:10,402 It was my decision not to know. 389 00:19:10,400 --> 00:19:13,780 ‐ This is what I'm trying to tell you. They're not getting a divorce. 390 00:19:13,779 --> 00:19:16,489 They're not even separated. ‐ No, that's impossible. 391 00:19:16,490 --> 00:19:19,330 ‐ I know it's crazy, but he doesn't come with her to any events, 392 00:19:19,326 --> 00:19:21,036 and they have a second place downtown where‐‐ 393 00:19:21,036 --> 00:19:23,576 ‐ She's obviously lying. ‐ I don't think so. 394 00:19:23,580 --> 00:19:24,870 ‐ Jules, she's lying. 395 00:19:24,873 --> 00:19:27,253 She's ashamed that he left her, so she's lying. 396 00:19:27,251 --> 00:19:30,211 ‐ Madison, I saw him at the beach house. 397 00:19:30,212 --> 00:19:33,052 ‐ Just stop! Look, I have no idea why you're doing this. 398 00:19:33,048 --> 00:19:34,338 What is wrong with you? 399 00:19:34,341 --> 00:19:35,761 ‐ What's wrong with me? 400 00:19:35,759 --> 00:19:38,759 This has nothing to do with me. I'm trying to tell you the truth. 401 00:19:38,762 --> 00:19:42,272 ‐ Oh, the truth. Like your fake fucking baby you've had all night? 402 00:19:42,266 --> 00:19:45,306 ‐ Look, I know how heartbroken you must be right now. 403 00:19:45,310 --> 00:19:47,860 ‐ Oh, yeah, and you'd be the expert on that, wouldn't you? 404 00:19:47,855 --> 00:19:50,185 Considering Jeremy dumped you, which is the only reason 405 00:19:50,190 --> 00:19:52,480 you started hanging out with me again in the first place. 406 00:19:52,484 --> 00:19:55,074 ‐ Madison, please don't lash out at me because I'm trying to follow the rules 407 00:19:55,070 --> 00:19:57,820 of whatever girl code you're constantly telling me about. 408 00:19:57,823 --> 00:20:00,373 I'm just trying to do what you're supposed to do in this situation. 409 00:20:00,367 --> 00:20:03,077 I mean, do you think this was easy for me? 410 00:20:03,078 --> 00:20:06,458 ‐ Oh, I'm sorry all these rules were such a burden for you, Jules. 411 00:20:06,456 --> 00:20:08,706 How dare I try to help you make connections with people 412 00:20:08,709 --> 00:20:10,499 instead of sitting at home! 413 00:20:10,502 --> 00:20:14,132 You know what? Consider yourself officially off the hook. 414 00:20:14,131 --> 00:20:17,381 JULES: I'm not trying to be off the hook, but you make it so hard sometimes. 415 00:20:17,384 --> 00:20:21,184 I'm just... I'm just... You're trying to push me away right now. 416 00:20:21,180 --> 00:20:24,600 ‐ You know, you're right. You know, maybe this is too hard. 417 00:20:25,434 --> 00:20:28,524 Maybe we should both stop trying to make you into something you are never going to be. 418 00:20:28,520 --> 00:20:30,190 ‐ Oh, what's that? 419 00:20:31,732 --> 00:20:32,902 ‐ A real friend. 420 00:20:37,529 --> 00:20:39,699 ♪ Rihanna playing "Stay" ♪ 421 00:20:39,698 --> 00:20:42,698 [door opens, closes] 422 00:20:45,120 --> 00:20:49,330 ♪ Not really sure how to feel about it ♪ 423 00:20:49,333 --> 00:20:53,343 ♪ Something in the way you move ♪ 424 00:20:55,589 --> 00:21:00,219 ♪ Makes me feel like I can't live without you and ♪ 425 00:21:01,220 --> 00:21:03,760 ♪ Takes me all the way ♪ 426 00:21:03,764 --> 00:21:06,774 ♪ I want you to stay ♪ 427 00:21:09,853 --> 00:21:12,773 ♪ Won't you stay? ♪ 428 00:21:14,441 --> 00:21:17,861 ♪ Round ♪ 429 00:21:17,861 --> 00:21:19,861 ♪ And around and around ♪ 430 00:21:19,863 --> 00:21:21,783 ♪ And around we go ♪ 431 00:21:24,868 --> 00:21:27,368 ♪ On now, tell me now ♪ 432 00:21:27,371 --> 00:21:28,371 ♪ Tell me now ♪ 433 00:21:28,372 --> 00:21:31,002 ♪ Tell me now you know ♪ 434 00:21:34,378 --> 00:21:39,798 ♪ Whoo‐ooh‐ooh ♪ 435 00:21:40,801 --> 00:21:42,891 ♪ Reason I hold on... ♪