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- Synced and corrected by Firefly -
- www.addic7ed.com -
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This is an NBC News special report.
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I'm Lester Holt,
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and your aunt is now Googling
"Lester Holt shirtless".
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This week saw the historic start
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of President Trump's impeachment trial,
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the only trial where the defendant
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and most of the jury are best friends.
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Here are the highlights.
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Everyone remember where you're sitting.
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Same seats in two years when
we have to do this again.
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No phones, no talking,
only drink water and milk.
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I didn't know there'd be milk here.
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Ah, it's been 40 years.
What's one glass of milk?
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And if the President is innocent,
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it follows his legal
team, is innocent, too.
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Too true.
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And I might I add
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that you all got nothing
on this president.
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Me? I got a lot.
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I got so much my computer won't shut up
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about how it's out of memory.
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I just can't wait to tell Iowa
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that their favorite Harvard professor
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got endorsed by the New York Times.
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Oh, I got that endorsement too.
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And if you tell one farmer,
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I will fucking kill you!
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Should we be worried that Joe Biden
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has got Iowa all to himself?
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Hey! Is Iowa the one
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where all the serial killers come from?
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Ah, we'll be fine.
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Hi, Bernie.
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I just drove four hours from Chappaqua
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to tell you to eat shit.
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You got to talk to someone!
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- It's not healthy.
- That's not me.
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A lot of people look like me.
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I have a generic look.
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Everyone's always
coming up to me asking,
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"are you Rick?" I don't know Rick.
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This vote is a lot pressure.
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That might take off the edge.
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Mmm. That is good milk.
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Ooh, I remember this feeling.
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This is going great.
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The team that best follows
the rules always wins.
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I'm done.
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Nah, I want some more.
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Welcome to the impeachment
club, little buddy.
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Isn't it crazy they always impeach you
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for the least bad thing you did?
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They just can't believe
I have this black mark
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on my sterling record
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of making every day
feel like September 12th.
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The presidents in the gallery,
please lower their voices.
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Sorry! I got this thing
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where I can't hear dorks!
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- I'm not a dork.
- Says every dork!
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- Ha!
- Don't laugh.
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I'm trying to fix this thing for you.
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I know. I know.
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Why do we even need to be here?
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This thing's not even over yet,
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and look what McConnell's wearing!
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I'm the milk man. Mitt is the milk man.
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The facts are uncontested,
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and, yet, still I feel like I'm losing.
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Oh, no. Mouse in the chamber.
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Everybody forget this vote and run.
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Senator Collins, just go be a lobbyist.
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Hey, everyone. It's John Bolton.
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The guy who knows everything.
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I'll start talking,
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and you tell me when you've
got enough to convict.
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Okay, so Trump's on
the phone with Ukraine.
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- John, what are you doing?!
- It's called selling books.
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You want in?
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Eh, I wouldn't mind selling
out my boss for a few bucks.
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Rudy, what the hell?!
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What? I can't have a creative outlet?
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There's something I want to say
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about Barack Hussein Obama.
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Not that.
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Enough. Everyone please remember
this is the United States Senate.
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We must not degrade
the sacred institution
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once home to Strom Thurmond.
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Let us comport ourselves
with dignity, prudence.
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And, Senator Collins,
what are you doing?
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Oops. I spilled my gasoline.
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Better wipe it up with some
Strike Anywhere matches.
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You work and you work,
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and this happens, and it's all worth it.
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I'd like to solve the puzzle.
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"Our Cartoon President".
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- Kids, we own this town.
- _
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The economy is assing on all cylinders.
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I'm currently DMing
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with several prominent dictators.
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And I finally finished
peeling that orange
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I found last week.
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Sure, we've had scandals,
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but they were far too complex
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for the American people to understand.
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Yeah. Can you imagine
if we had a scandal
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you could describe in one sentence?
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Did you extort Ukraine
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into investigating
your political opponent?
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Your question is unclear.
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You should probably split it up
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into two or more complex sentences.
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- Mr. President!
- Mr. President!
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The House is impeaching me
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without first asking me if it's okay?!
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We're so sorry.
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I tried to explain that bipartisanship
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was more important than the rule of law,
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but the House wouldn't listen.
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What about the infrastructure bill
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we were definitely going to do?
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You don't think we
thought about the bill?
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Of course we thought about the bill!
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Adam Schiff is running
this investigation
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like he has shark blood in his veins.
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I believe in two things:
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the rule of law
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and the greatest threat
to our nation is charisma.
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Sounds like the Senate
is gonna have a trial.
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- Uh-oh!
- Impossible.
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It was a perfect,
beautiful call with Ukraine
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that had legs for days!
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I'd be dating that call
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if I wasn't already happily
married to what's-her-name.
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This is going to be a great year.
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Ever since the impeachment
inquiry began,
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I've been a prisoner.
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They tell me when to wake up,
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when to call into Fox and Friends,
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when to devour my dry-aged Kobe slop.
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The Democrats are
controlling the narrative.
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You need to fight back
and tell your story.
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We can slam this thing
on the I.T. guy's head
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until he gives us a computer.
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No one cares about my story, Don.
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I'm a forgotten man.
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Back to our ongoing coverage
of Donald Trump's posture.
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Let's go to our posture panel.
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Just because you've given up on you
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doesn't mean I'm also gonna give
up on yourself, as well, too.
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This isn't a fairy tale, Don.
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For once, the handsome prince
with a well-defined bulge
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doesn't live happily ever after.
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Alright, I'm gonna go slam this
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on the I.T. guy's head anyway.
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You, with the USB drive, get over here!
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President Trump is a lawless criminal!
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I promise I'll run the government
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the exact opposite:
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like a rule-obsessed German nanny.
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And how am I going to do it? With plans.
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Long, dense, sumptuously wordy plans
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that no American can make sense of.
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I'm the boss, applesauce!
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This is doing it for us somehow!
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God, I'm so jazzed!
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They were eating nutritious snacks
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out of the palm of my
thoroughly washed hand!
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You do know that you're running
for President of America,
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not Captain of debate or chess
for whatever smart you-knows.
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I need to lie down.
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Your message is too complicated.
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I've made mine very simple:
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I was born in 1982, I'm gay,
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and I helped destabilize Afghanistan.
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Well, I think voters
want more than that.
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Hey, folks, I'm Joe Biden.
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- Do you want more than that?
- No!
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So after the Senate convicts me,
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I might just wander
the Earth like a pariah,
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moving from barn to barn
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until some kid spots me
and the town chases me out.
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No!
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Sir, if you go down,
then we all go down,
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and I don't want to share a prison cell
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with Rudy Giuliani. I don't blame ya.
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If you think I'm bad to my wives,
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you should see what I do to a toilet.
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I've been blacklisted by
every plumber in New York.
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I can only get rookies from Connecticut
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with something to prove.
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Way to make this about you guys.
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Anything else I can do
besides keep you out of prison?
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Get you some ice?
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Sir? Yes, Secretary of Cheese?
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I don't want to go prison.
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I'm sporty and I'll
miss the great outdoors.
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Aww, that's too bad
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because you got "Fall
Guy" written all over you.
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I wanted to be the fall guy!
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My incriminating fluids
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are in their usual spot in the fridge.
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Come on, Mr. President.
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Fight these airtight
charges, pleeeeeeasssee.
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Pleeeeeeeease!
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Alright, I'll think about it.
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If only not to think about
Pompeo in hiking shorts.
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It's a glorious sight.
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Bill, Epstein's been
gone for five months.
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Get ahold of yourself.
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You've traded your
jet for wings, brother.
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But her e-mails?
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Hillary, me again.
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Do you think I've been
sounding too smart?
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I'm afraid so.
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If there's one lesson
we learned in 2016,
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it's that I'm perfect
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and voters are complete morons.
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Maybe they just need
someone who'll speak to them
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like the detail-oriented,
intellectually rigorous people
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that they are.
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Yeah, and Bill is coping well.
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If that's Jeffy,
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tell him I never stopped believing!
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Think about it, Mr. President.
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If you cleared your name,
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you'd have the freedom to
go anywhere, to do anything.
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I've been here so long,
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00:08:01,596 --> 00:08:04,017
I've forgotten how to
imagine a better life.
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You know, one where Eric's not around.
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Can I have money for a jawbreaker?
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Just try, Mr. President.
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If I could do anything?
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♪ If he could do annyyyyyything ♪
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Welcome back to Lou Dobbs Tonight.
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We're talking government overreach
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with Newt Gingrich.
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Wow, Newt did Dobbs and Ingraham?
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Must be between bookers or something.
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Kellyanne, if I try to
beat this impeachment,
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will you stick with
me to the bitter end,
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no matter the cost?
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Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh...
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Kellyanne? Hello?
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Are you okay?
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- Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh...
- Kellyanne?
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Okay, alright, well, I'm just gonna go.
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Uhhhhhhhhh...
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Hillary's wrong.
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I know Iowa voters interrogate the facts
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and their unconscious biases
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before voting on their
20-minute lunch break.
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May I have everyone's attention?!
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You know what chaps my hide?
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The Dodd-Frank Act provided
an oversight mandate
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00:09:01,842 --> 00:09:04,184
for the Consumer Financial
Protection Bureau...
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00:09:04,186 --> 00:09:06,523
Shut up, lady! We're
trying not to think or feel!
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00:09:06,525 --> 00:09:09,227
It's just we can end
corruption in Washington
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00:09:09,229 --> 00:09:10,374
if we just...
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- Booooo!
- Quit tryna make us think and feel!
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00:09:12,757 --> 00:09:13,795
I told her to shut up.
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00:09:13,797 --> 00:09:15,256
Hillary, you were right.
263
00:09:15,258 --> 00:09:18,337
How do I connect with...
what does the media call them?
264
00:09:18,339 --> 00:09:19,819
"Everyday" Americans?
265
00:09:19,821 --> 00:09:22,633
I know just the vacuous
dolts who can try to help.
266
00:09:22,635 --> 00:09:24,531
Just promise me that, if you win,
267
00:09:24,533 --> 00:09:25,980
you'll name me President.
268
00:09:25,982 --> 00:09:27,328
Bar's driving through a tunnel.
269
00:09:27,330 --> 00:09:28,475
Gotta go.
270
00:09:28,477 --> 00:09:29,856
Liz says hi.
271
00:09:29,858 --> 00:09:31,046
Oh, Jeffy, if you're here,
272
00:09:31,048 --> 00:09:32,949
give me and Alan Dershowitz a sign.
273
00:09:32,951 --> 00:09:34,598
I-I-I-I-I think I felt a breeze.
274
00:09:34,600 --> 00:09:36,424
Jeffrey, can you come back as a ghost
275
00:09:36,426 --> 00:09:38,874
and tell everyone I didn't
take my underpants off?
276
00:09:40,774 --> 00:09:42,141
Mr. President, a word?
277
00:09:42,143 --> 00:09:43,313
What is it, Mike?
278
00:09:43,315 --> 00:09:45,169
See another cloud that
looks like a nipple
279
00:09:45,171 --> 00:09:46,892
- and need some time off?
- Yes,
280
00:09:46,894 --> 00:09:49,348
but also, Kellyanne
said you're considering
281
00:09:49,350 --> 00:09:51,404
trying to beat this impeachment thing.
282
00:09:51,406 --> 00:09:52,907
I am. I'm just not sure
283
00:09:52,909 --> 00:09:54,643
I have what it takes to pull this off.
284
00:09:54,645 --> 00:09:56,757
Hey, you can do this, Mr. President.
285
00:09:56,759 --> 00:09:57,797
You have to.
286
00:09:57,799 --> 00:09:59,337
Thanks, Mike. You can go now.
287
00:09:59,339 --> 00:10:01,504
No, I don't think you understand.
288
00:10:01,506 --> 00:10:02,963
You have to do this
289
00:10:02,965 --> 00:10:05,242
because I cannot become President.
290
00:10:05,244 --> 00:10:06,390
What? Why?
291
00:10:06,392 --> 00:10:08,921
Because I would be the worst president
292
00:10:08,923 --> 00:10:11,337
in the history of ever anywhere.
293
00:10:11,339 --> 00:10:13,671
First of all, not even a decade ago,
294
00:10:13,673 --> 00:10:15,838
I was a radio host, and a bad one.
295
00:10:15,840 --> 00:10:17,379
Also, I'm dumb.
296
00:10:17,381 --> 00:10:18,629
Up until yesterday,
297
00:10:18,631 --> 00:10:20,838
I had no idea omelets were made of eggs.
298
00:10:20,840 --> 00:10:22,879
I thought it was yellow pancakes.
299
00:10:22,881 --> 00:10:24,504
- Mike, listen...
- No!
300
00:10:24,506 --> 00:10:26,629
- You listen to me, butthole.
- Whoa!
301
00:10:26,631 --> 00:10:28,254
I don't know how anything works.
302
00:10:28,256 --> 00:10:29,838
I don't know where anything is.
303
00:10:29,840 --> 00:10:32,337
I just say it's God
because I am clueless!
304
00:10:32,339 --> 00:10:33,713
Mike, calm down.
305
00:10:33,715 --> 00:10:34,963
Hey! You have to!
306
00:10:34,965 --> 00:10:36,254
You have to do this!
307
00:10:36,256 --> 00:10:38,591
Okay, okay, I'll clear my name!
308
00:10:38,593 --> 00:10:40,379
You're doing the right thing.
309
00:10:40,381 --> 00:10:42,693
I know. Just leave. You're
scaring the shit out of me.
310
00:10:42,695 --> 00:10:44,796
Okay. Door open or closed?
311
00:10:44,798 --> 00:10:46,713
- Whatever you want.
- Don't make me think!
312
00:10:46,715 --> 00:10:49,045
I'm bad at it. Were you not listening?!
313
00:10:49,047 --> 00:10:50,172
Closed.
314
00:10:51,923 --> 00:10:53,295
What the fuck?
315
00:10:53,297 --> 00:10:56,028
Since the whole war with Iran thing
316
00:10:56,030 --> 00:10:57,194
didn't really pop off,
317
00:10:57,196 --> 00:10:59,703
the only way to beat
this impeachment thing
318
00:10:59,704 --> 00:11:00,744
is in the press.
319
00:11:00,746 --> 00:11:02,410
We've met every communications expert
320
00:11:02,412 --> 00:11:03,803
on the Eastern seaboard.
321
00:11:03,805 --> 00:11:05,619
And they're either too fat, too ugly,
322
00:11:05,621 --> 00:11:07,452
or too unwilling to die for me.
323
00:11:07,454 --> 00:11:09,468
- What do we do?
- There's one more.
324
00:11:09,470 --> 00:11:13,993
But I have to warn you, he's ugly.
325
00:11:15,329 --> 00:11:16,952
Sean, are you ready?
326
00:11:16,954 --> 00:11:18,827
You can do this.
327
00:11:18,829 --> 00:11:20,702
I'm sick of the justice system
328
00:11:20,704 --> 00:11:23,452
letting wrongly accused
presidents like you
329
00:11:23,454 --> 00:11:24,702
fall through the cracks.
330
00:11:24,704 --> 00:11:27,004
I want to clear your name.
331
00:11:27,995 --> 00:11:29,702
Do you have a communications degree?
332
00:11:29,704 --> 00:11:31,064
- Nope.
- Did you graduate high school?
333
00:11:31,066 --> 00:11:32,285
- Nope.
- Play any team sports?
334
00:11:32,287 --> 00:11:33,535
- Nope.
- Can you drive a car?
335
00:11:33,537 --> 00:11:34,827
- Nope.
- Can you look at a car?
336
00:11:34,829 --> 00:11:36,044
- Nope.
- Would you be comfortable
337
00:11:36,046 --> 00:11:37,244
taking a breathalyzer right now?
338
00:11:37,245 --> 00:11:38,535
- Nope.
- Do you have a fixed address?
339
00:11:38,537 --> 00:11:39,911
- Nope.
- Ever nodded at someone
340
00:11:39,913 --> 00:11:41,035
without your hat falling off?
341
00:11:41,037 --> 00:11:42,118
- Nope.
- Can you hold your head
342
00:11:42,120 --> 00:11:43,708
underwater for two
seconds without drowning?
343
00:11:43,710 --> 00:11:44,830
- Nope. Nope.
- Can you...
344
00:11:44,832 --> 00:11:45,904
So as far as I can tell,
345
00:11:45,906 --> 00:11:48,332
God took every chunk of
useless flesh and feces
346
00:11:48,334 --> 00:11:50,291
and packed it into your one squat frame.
347
00:11:50,293 --> 00:11:52,624
What makes you qualified
to clear my name?
348
00:11:52,626 --> 00:11:55,124
Because I believe you.
349
00:11:56,193 --> 00:11:57,282
Let's get to work.
350
00:11:58,382 --> 00:11:59,957
Is there anyone else? No?
351
00:11:59,959 --> 00:12:01,708
Okay, let's get to work.
352
00:12:01,710 --> 00:12:03,999
Your impeachment trial is in one week.
353
00:12:04,001 --> 00:12:05,082
Facts won't matter.
354
00:12:05,084 --> 00:12:08,499
What matters is that we
tell a beautiful story
355
00:12:08,501 --> 00:12:10,374
about a man wrongly accused.
356
00:12:10,376 --> 00:12:14,666
We need to get you out
there in every medium... TV.
357
00:12:14,668 --> 00:12:15,749
There must be more.
358
00:12:15,751 --> 00:12:17,374
- Books?
- Books, sure!
359
00:12:17,376 --> 00:12:18,583
Start typing.
360
00:12:18,585 --> 00:12:19,833
Shouldn't be a problem.
361
00:12:19,835 --> 00:12:21,040
Don Junior has a typewriter
362
00:12:21,042 --> 00:12:22,414
covered in human blood and hair,
363
00:12:22,416 --> 00:12:23,999
but I can hose it down.
364
00:12:25,167 --> 00:12:26,332
Hillary Clinton said
365
00:12:26,334 --> 00:12:28,207
if I could get you
three to understand me,
366
00:12:28,209 --> 00:12:29,708
then I could get through to anyone.
367
00:12:29,710 --> 00:12:31,833
Sorry the directions didn't specify
368
00:12:31,835 --> 00:12:32,957
how to operate a door.
369
00:12:32,959 --> 00:12:35,666
I can't get the taste of
the knob out of my mouth.
370
00:12:35,668 --> 00:12:38,207
Thank goodness Chris
Cuomo beat down the door.
371
00:12:38,209 --> 00:12:39,708
My governor dad taught me that
372
00:12:39,710 --> 00:12:41,666
before setting me up real nice at CNN
373
00:12:41,668 --> 00:12:43,588
- where I read words.
- I'm Joe Kennedy.
374
00:12:43,590 --> 00:12:46,627
My Dad was either Ted, Bobby,
or John F. Kennedy, maybe.
375
00:12:46,629 --> 00:12:48,374
Let's start with my stump speech.
376
00:12:48,376 --> 00:12:50,915
Right now, I begin by
touting my key policies:
377
00:12:50,917 --> 00:12:53,708
modernizing regulations
on influence peddling...
378
00:12:53,710 --> 00:12:54,833
Here's an idea: how about every speech
379
00:12:54,835 --> 00:12:56,915
- comes with a small toy?
- Like a cereal box!
380
00:12:56,917 --> 00:12:57,963
Let's get after it.
381
00:12:57,965 --> 00:13:00,249
If I dump a bunch of
chicken into a cereal box,
382
00:13:00,251 --> 00:13:01,321
is that now a cereal?
383
00:13:01,323 --> 00:13:04,586
Uh-oh, tough question made
my brain spring a leak!
384
00:13:04,588 --> 00:13:06,165
What's the rhyme again?
385
00:13:06,167 --> 00:13:08,374
Out the nose, green is fine,
386
00:13:08,376 --> 00:13:10,957
but when it's red, me will soon die.
387
00:13:10,959 --> 00:13:13,089
Hey, can I put that red stuff on my face
388
00:13:13,091 --> 00:13:14,749
so I look like Braveheart?
389
00:13:14,751 --> 00:13:16,583
Tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick.
390
00:13:16,585 --> 00:13:18,791
Tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick.
391
00:13:18,793 --> 00:13:20,895
His name is Donald Trump
392
00:13:20,897 --> 00:13:23,708
and, in 2019, he was
earning a steady living
393
00:13:23,710 --> 00:13:25,753
as the President of the United States,
394
00:13:25,755 --> 00:13:28,957
until he found himself on
the wrong side of the law.
395
00:13:28,959 --> 00:13:32,207
Tonight, for the first time,
we hear his side of the story.
396
00:13:32,209 --> 00:13:34,583
I'm just trying to survive every day.
397
00:13:34,585 --> 00:13:36,457
When was the last time
you saw your family?
398
00:13:36,459 --> 00:13:38,874
Unfortunately, earlier today.
399
00:13:38,876 --> 00:13:41,124
Oh, God.
400
00:13:41,126 --> 00:13:44,329
His days are spent
in near total isolation,
401
00:13:44,331 --> 00:13:46,040
disconnected from reality.
402
00:13:46,042 --> 00:13:47,057
I sleep there.
403
00:13:47,059 --> 00:13:48,915
I go to the bathroom over there.
404
00:13:48,917 --> 00:13:50,015
Do you get out much?
405
00:13:50,017 --> 00:13:51,915
Once a day, I'll be allowed out
406
00:13:51,917 --> 00:13:54,541
for a rally with thousands
of screaming racists.
407
00:13:54,543 --> 00:13:55,915
This man's freedom
408
00:13:55,917 --> 00:13:58,124
is being held hostage by Adam Schiff,
409
00:13:58,126 --> 00:13:59,788
a California Congressman
410
00:13:59,790 --> 00:14:02,999
who wields his own
brand of ruthless justice.
411
00:14:03,001 --> 00:14:06,291
I will not rest until this
man is brought to justice.
412
00:14:06,293 --> 00:14:07,365
Excuse me.
413
00:14:08,959 --> 00:14:11,624
What do you say to other
presidents facing impeachment?
414
00:14:11,626 --> 00:14:13,291
They can impeach your body,
415
00:14:13,293 --> 00:14:15,309
but they can never impeach your mind.
416
00:14:16,501 --> 00:14:18,499
Donald Trump tells his side of the story
417
00:14:18,501 --> 00:14:20,708
in My Struggle: A Story of Hope,
418
00:14:20,710 --> 00:14:22,999
available tomorrow
anywhere books are sold
419
00:14:23,001 --> 00:14:24,249
except for Germany.
420
00:14:25,793 --> 00:14:27,457
So is it cereal?
421
00:14:27,459 --> 00:14:28,957
Nah, it's milky chicken.
422
00:14:28,959 --> 00:14:30,332
Bummer! I'm one of the Kennedys.
423
00:14:30,334 --> 00:14:32,624
Elizabeth, what's wrong?
424
00:14:32,626 --> 00:14:35,165
I just don't know how to
appeal to people like you.
425
00:14:35,167 --> 00:14:36,472
What do you mean people like us?
426
00:14:36,474 --> 00:14:39,124
Guys who sleep with a couple hundred
little tiny curlers in their hair?
427
00:14:39,126 --> 00:14:41,276
Is there any plan you can get behind?
428
00:14:41,278 --> 00:14:43,989
Ugh, plan this, plan
that. Plan that, plan this.
429
00:14:43,991 --> 00:14:45,504
Seriously, cut me off. I can't stop.
430
00:14:45,506 --> 00:14:47,416
- Plan this, plan that.
- I wish I had plans,
431
00:14:47,418 --> 00:14:49,127
but my campaign manager
just keeps telling me
432
00:14:49,129 --> 00:14:51,165
to say my last name and
shut my handsome face.
433
00:14:51,167 --> 00:14:53,915
I didn't vote for Trump for his plans.
434
00:14:53,917 --> 00:14:57,165
He said America was bad
and he'd make it great.
435
00:14:57,167 --> 00:14:59,999
That was a story I
wanted to be a part of.
436
00:15:00,001 --> 00:15:02,090
So you don't think about which candidate
437
00:15:02,092 --> 00:15:04,601
has the policies that most
align with your values?
438
00:15:04,603 --> 00:15:06,541
You just vote for who
tells the best story?
439
00:15:06,543 --> 00:15:08,708
- Uh-huh.
- The best stories have trucks that talk.
440
00:15:14,876 --> 00:15:16,489
Bookstore. Yeah?
441
00:15:16,491 --> 00:15:19,489
Hi, do you carry My
Struggle: A Story of Hope
442
00:15:19,491 --> 00:15:20,531
by Donald Trump?
443
00:15:20,533 --> 00:15:22,349
You'll have to speak up!
It's bedlam here!
444
00:15:22,351 --> 00:15:25,374
Do you have My Struggle:
A Story of Hope?
445
00:15:25,376 --> 00:15:27,374
- Naw, man. Naw.
- Oh, okay.
446
00:15:27,376 --> 00:15:28,738
You don't carry it?
447
00:15:28,740 --> 00:15:29,957
Naw, man, it's sold out.
448
00:15:29,959 --> 00:15:31,583
I gotta go. You take care, okay?
449
00:15:31,585 --> 00:15:33,040
Keep readin', brother.
450
00:15:35,084 --> 00:15:36,708
♪ A phone call rang out ♪
451
00:15:36,710 --> 00:15:38,416
♪ And the President answered ♪
452
00:15:38,418 --> 00:15:40,749
♪ It was Zelensky talking Javelins ♪
453
00:15:40,751 --> 00:15:43,082
♪ And someone wrote down a transcript ♪
454
00:15:43,084 --> 00:15:46,708
♪ Of the President asking
for an illegal favor ♪
455
00:15:46,710 --> 00:15:51,207
♪ And now Nancy Pelosi's calling
that impeachable behavior ♪
456
00:15:51,209 --> 00:15:53,957
♪ Whoa, Why does Trump have to go? ♪
457
00:15:53,959 --> 00:15:56,174
♪ Just because he committed the crimes ♪
458
00:15:56,176 --> 00:15:57,541
♪ And admitted the crimes ♪
459
00:15:57,543 --> 00:16:00,024
- ♪ Doesn't mean he should go ♪
- ♪ Doesn't mean he should go ♪
460
00:16:01,917 --> 00:16:04,541
Hold on, Brian. That's
a rental, take it easy.
461
00:16:06,251 --> 00:16:08,874
Brian, I think you're going a
little too hard on that thing.
462
00:16:08,876 --> 00:16:10,749
♪ Why does Trump have to go? ♪
463
00:16:10,751 --> 00:16:13,207
That was a big deposit, Brian.
464
00:16:13,209 --> 00:16:16,583
Please take it easy.
465
00:16:16,585 --> 00:16:19,165
♪ Why does Trump have to go? ♪
466
00:16:19,167 --> 00:16:21,040
Lighter, Brian, lighter.
467
00:16:21,042 --> 00:16:22,749
Little more of a touch.
468
00:16:24,501 --> 00:16:25,874
Fine, this is on you.
469
00:16:25,876 --> 00:16:27,624
I'm gonna blame you, Brian.
470
00:16:30,334 --> 00:16:34,082
Facts don't stand a chance against us.
471
00:16:34,084 --> 00:16:36,082
I want you to have this.
472
00:16:36,084 --> 00:16:38,915
"Dear Sean, Put this book on your hat
473
00:16:38,917 --> 00:16:42,124
so that, when you nod,
your hat doesn't fall off.
474
00:16:42,126 --> 00:16:46,040
Sincerely, the 45th President
of the United States".
475
00:16:46,042 --> 00:16:50,207
Wow, you saved me a lot
of money on a chin strap.
476
00:16:50,209 --> 00:16:51,905
Doctor said I'm a goner
477
00:16:51,907 --> 00:16:53,262
if I swallow one more gold chain,
478
00:16:53,264 --> 00:16:54,934
but I think he's just
trying to scare me.
479
00:16:54,936 --> 00:16:55,974
Oh, Lizzy's on!
480
00:16:55,976 --> 00:16:57,498
When I was a little girl,
481
00:16:57,500 --> 00:16:58,978
America was good,
482
00:16:58,980 --> 00:17:02,961
but then the bad man came
along and made it bad,
483
00:17:02,963 --> 00:17:04,651
and I want to make it good again
484
00:17:04,653 --> 00:17:06,457
with the help of my talking truck.
485
00:17:06,459 --> 00:17:08,124
His name is Beep Beep...
486
00:17:08,126 --> 00:17:10,819
... and, like me, he loves America.
487
00:17:10,821 --> 00:17:13,757
- I sure do!
- Thanks, Beep Beep.
488
00:17:13,759 --> 00:17:16,628
Elect me, bad man goes bye-bye,
489
00:17:16,630 --> 00:17:19,568
and every American gets a small toy.
490
00:17:19,570 --> 00:17:22,258
I'm Elizabeth Warren,
and I approve good.
491
00:17:22,260 --> 00:17:23,829
- Heck yeah.
- Elizabeth, wow!
492
00:17:23,831 --> 00:17:25,644
Beep Beep endorsed
before the convention.
493
00:17:25,646 --> 00:17:26,722
Unthinkable!
494
00:17:29,835 --> 00:17:34,014
♪ If he could do anything ♪
495
00:17:34,016 --> 00:17:35,620
Thanks for joining us, Newt.
496
00:17:35,622 --> 00:17:38,287
Now let's turn to Donald
Trump's impeachment spat
497
00:17:38,289 --> 00:17:39,578
with the Democrats.
498
00:17:39,580 --> 00:17:40,636
Donald, wake up.
499
00:17:40,637 --> 00:17:42,287
Do you hear me, Donald?
500
00:17:42,289 --> 00:17:44,786
Donald! Wake up!
501
00:17:44,788 --> 00:17:47,091
Whoa! How the F did you get in here?
502
00:17:47,093 --> 00:17:48,239
We made an appointment
503
00:17:48,241 --> 00:17:50,072
and arrived at the designated time.
504
00:17:50,074 --> 00:17:51,697
You sneaky rat bastards.
505
00:17:51,699 --> 00:17:53,156
You've woven quite the fairy tale,
506
00:17:53,158 --> 00:17:55,031
but tomorrow is your impeachment trial,
507
00:17:55,033 --> 00:17:57,323
and it won't be about
whose story is better.
508
00:17:57,325 --> 00:17:58,822
It will be about the facts.
509
00:17:58,824 --> 00:18:01,715
Evidence you pressured
Ukraine to spy on Biden
510
00:18:01,717 --> 00:18:04,300
somehow includes blood and semen.
511
00:18:04,302 --> 00:18:07,198
I thought I told Pompeo
to scrub that country down.
512
00:18:07,200 --> 00:18:09,079
We're so sorry, Donald.
513
00:18:09,081 --> 00:18:10,822
And the biggest tragedy?
514
00:18:10,824 --> 00:18:12,614
The trial fell right in the middle
515
00:18:12,616 --> 00:18:14,129
of infrastructure week.
516
00:18:15,782 --> 00:18:16,947
We're on in 10.
517
00:18:16,949 --> 00:18:19,655
Wow, I'm up among men
pinned under dirt bikes
518
00:18:19,657 --> 00:18:21,780
and women who put little wooden signs
519
00:18:21,782 --> 00:18:23,573
that say "kitchen" in their kitchens.
520
00:18:23,575 --> 00:18:25,854
I just have to hold my own
against the chessmaster.
521
00:18:25,856 --> 00:18:28,084
Okay, everyone, please
don't leave your mess here.
522
00:18:28,086 --> 00:18:29,166
This is where I do the show...
523
00:18:29,168 --> 00:18:30,661
Oh, it's my script. Sorry, everyone.
524
00:18:32,325 --> 00:18:34,364
Senator Elizabeth Warren,
thanks for joining us.
525
00:18:34,366 --> 00:18:35,448
Thanks, Chuck.
526
00:18:35,450 --> 00:18:37,780
And I'd just like to say: Warren good.
527
00:18:37,782 --> 00:18:39,573
Wow, nice message discipline.
528
00:18:39,575 --> 00:18:42,163
Turning to domestic
issues, the Dodd-Frank Act
529
00:18:42,165 --> 00:18:43,864
provided an oversight mandate
530
00:18:43,866 --> 00:18:45,860
for the Consumer Financial
Protection Bureau.
531
00:18:45,862 --> 00:18:48,947
Ooh, yummy topic. Mama likey.
532
00:18:48,949 --> 00:18:49,989
Please explain to me
533
00:18:49,991 --> 00:18:51,839
how you get a full-time chairperson
534
00:18:51,841 --> 00:18:53,031
confirmed in the Senate.
535
00:18:53,033 --> 00:18:56,239
Uh, um, it's a complicated issue.
536
00:18:56,241 --> 00:18:57,364
Whoa, whoa, whoa,
537
00:18:57,366 --> 00:18:58,905
that's not what you said before.
538
00:18:58,907 --> 00:19:00,931
You're off message.
I got you in a gaffe.
539
00:19:00,933 --> 00:19:01,989
Let's get the graphic up.
540
00:19:01,991 --> 00:19:04,822
Hmm, maybe I should be the President
541
00:19:04,824 --> 00:19:06,448
and she should be the
guy who got yelled at
542
00:19:06,450 --> 00:19:08,031
by one of his interns yesterday.
543
00:19:08,033 --> 00:19:10,031
C-Span will no longer air
544
00:19:10,033 --> 00:19:11,989
the 92nd Street Y conversation
545
00:19:11,991 --> 00:19:14,780
between David Brooks,
David Frum, David Axelrod,
546
00:19:14,782 --> 00:19:16,697
David Plotz, and David Plouffe,
547
00:19:16,699 --> 00:19:18,156
moderated by David Remnick.
548
00:19:18,158 --> 00:19:20,062
Instead, we go live to
the floor of the Senate
549
00:19:20,064 --> 00:19:21,744
for the impeachment
trial of the President.
550
00:19:22,657 --> 00:19:25,156
Hey, if Mike Pence comes by,
551
00:19:25,158 --> 00:19:26,475
just project confidence.
552
00:19:26,477 --> 00:19:28,181
He's been acting like a complete luna...
553
00:19:28,183 --> 00:19:29,239
Hey, Mike!
554
00:19:29,241 --> 00:19:30,655
What a great day for justice!
555
00:19:30,657 --> 00:19:32,780
I'm so excited to see you prevail.
556
00:19:32,782 --> 00:19:34,156
- Thanks, Mike.
- Yeah.
557
00:19:34,158 --> 00:19:35,780
So you feel like it's gonna work out?
558
00:19:35,782 --> 00:19:37,156
Like, you're gonna be
president for awhile?
559
00:19:37,158 --> 00:19:38,739
Uh, yeah.
560
00:19:38,741 --> 00:19:40,117
- Sean?
- Yeah, for sure.
561
00:19:40,119 --> 00:19:42,697
So I don't need to study
up in the next few hours,
562
00:19:42,699 --> 00:19:44,489
like learn who won World War II?
563
00:19:44,491 --> 00:19:46,281
Figure out how to open a desk drawer?
564
00:19:46,283 --> 00:19:47,475
I think you're good.
565
00:19:47,477 --> 00:19:49,989
Oh, hey, I think Karen
was looking for you.
566
00:19:49,991 --> 00:19:51,697
Yeah, you should go find her.
567
00:19:51,699 --> 00:19:53,780
Cool, cool, cool. Door open or closed?
568
00:19:53,782 --> 00:19:55,197
- There's no door, Mike.
- Cool.
569
00:19:55,199 --> 00:19:56,297
See you guys later.
570
00:19:56,299 --> 00:19:57,339
Karen!
571
00:20:00,158 --> 00:20:02,197
Hey, Lizzy Whatever,
we saw "Meet the Press".
572
00:20:02,199 --> 00:20:03,924
You were good. Warren good.
573
00:20:03,926 --> 00:20:05,788
Warren didn't feel good.
574
00:20:05,790 --> 00:20:07,364
Warren felt like an idiot.
575
00:20:07,366 --> 00:20:10,921
When someone calls me an
idiot, I just go to sleep.
576
00:20:10,923 --> 00:20:11,989
Problem solved.
577
00:20:11,991 --> 00:20:14,573
How do I even show my face
at the impeachment trial?
578
00:20:14,575 --> 00:20:17,462
I got embarrassed by Chuck Todd.
579
00:20:17,464 --> 00:20:18,864
I know this isn't the best time,
580
00:20:18,866 --> 00:20:21,039
but can you give this to Beep Beep?
581
00:20:23,241 --> 00:20:25,864
The sergeant-at-arms will
make the proclamation.
582
00:20:25,866 --> 00:20:27,448
Hear ye! Hear ye!
583
00:20:27,450 --> 00:20:30,072
All persons are commanded to keep silent
584
00:20:30,074 --> 00:20:31,156
on pain of imprison...
585
00:20:32,241 --> 00:20:33,706
Ladies and gentlemen,
586
00:20:33,708 --> 00:20:35,729
welcome to the impeachment trial
587
00:20:35,731 --> 00:20:37,947
of the President of the United States.
588
00:20:37,949 --> 00:20:40,281
And now here's your defendant:
589
00:20:40,283 --> 00:20:43,454
Donald J. Trump!
590
00:20:49,074 --> 00:20:50,239
Thank God that worked.
591
00:20:50,241 --> 00:20:52,822
In rehearsal, the whale
carcass stuffed with dumbbells
592
00:20:52,824 --> 00:20:54,230
ripped the harness ropes in half.
593
00:20:54,232 --> 00:20:56,739
You know, you weren't
required to attend.
594
00:20:56,741 --> 00:20:58,874
Yeah, I don't know if you noticed,
595
00:20:58,876 --> 00:21:01,245
but we're doing things a
little differently this term.
596
00:21:01,247 --> 00:21:03,114
Speaking for the prosecution,
Congressman Schiff?
597
00:21:03,116 --> 00:21:04,131
Oh, fuck. Oh, Lord.
598
00:21:04,133 --> 00:21:05,545
According to transcripts
599
00:21:05,547 --> 00:21:07,319
released by your own administration...
600
00:21:07,321 --> 00:21:08,377
eight phone calls...
601
00:21:08,379 --> 00:21:11,573
inappropriately moved to a
highly classified server...
602
00:21:11,575 --> 00:21:12,754
blood and semen...
603
00:21:12,756 --> 00:21:15,239
which according to
95% of legal scholars,
604
00:21:15,241 --> 00:21:17,531
fits the very definition of treason.
605
00:21:17,533 --> 00:21:19,570
So we're just going to overlook
606
00:21:19,572 --> 00:21:22,522
how fabulous the White House
was decorated for Christmas?
607
00:21:22,524 --> 00:21:23,730
It's a witch hunt, got it.
608
00:21:23,732 --> 00:21:26,259
I'm thinking after this,
we do some potato skins,
609
00:21:26,261 --> 00:21:27,426
maybe Skee-Ball.
610
00:21:27,428 --> 00:21:29,523
Donald, I haven't
seen that much evidence
611
00:21:29,525 --> 00:21:31,342
since they raided Ailes's office.
612
00:21:31,344 --> 00:21:32,967
Hey, so just to be safe,
613
00:21:32,969 --> 00:21:35,384
World War II was the
one in Vietnam, right?
614
00:21:38,885 --> 00:21:40,301
Today's impeachment proceedings
615
00:21:40,303 --> 00:21:42,124
were such a disaster for the President
616
00:21:42,126 --> 00:21:44,092
that even I can see
where this is heading.
617
00:21:44,094 --> 00:21:46,259
My loyalty is now for
sale to the highest bidder.
618
00:21:46,261 --> 00:21:49,092
Phone lines are open. No
opinion is too depraved.
619
00:21:50,261 --> 00:21:52,259
So for the resignation ceremony,
620
00:21:52,261 --> 00:21:54,753
I'm thinking sobbing
masses here and here.
621
00:21:54,755 --> 00:21:57,426
No, Mr. President, don't do it.
622
00:21:57,428 --> 00:21:58,506
That reminds me:
623
00:21:58,508 --> 00:22:00,404
let's have a guy wrapped
in tin foil show up,
624
00:22:00,406 --> 00:22:01,528
say he's from the future,
625
00:22:01,530 --> 00:22:03,875
and say my resignation
leads to the end of mankind.
626
00:22:03,877 --> 00:22:06,602
Uh-huh. And what are you
thinking for the kids?
627
00:22:06,604 --> 00:22:07,906
They can just catch a cab home.
628
00:22:07,908 --> 00:22:10,012
Mr. President, you're not resigning.
629
00:22:10,014 --> 00:22:12,883
You're going to be acquitted
by the Senate tomorrow.
630
00:22:12,885 --> 00:22:15,259
Hello, Democrats have
what many describe as
631
00:22:15,261 --> 00:22:17,718
a "satanic orgy of evidence".
632
00:22:17,720 --> 00:22:20,800
And the Republicans have
a satanic orgy of votes,
633
00:22:20,802 --> 00:22:21,883
so we win.
634
00:22:21,885 --> 00:22:24,092
So if I'm reading this correctly,
635
00:22:24,094 --> 00:22:25,467
you don't care what I did?
636
00:22:25,469 --> 00:22:28,842
I have not been following
this case in the slightest.
637
00:22:28,844 --> 00:22:30,509
I've just been calling Republicans
638
00:22:30,511 --> 00:22:33,077
in the middle of the night
and breathing into the phone.
639
00:22:33,079 --> 00:22:34,704
They get it.
640
00:22:35,892 --> 00:22:37,553
Are you okay, Elizabeth?
641
00:22:37,555 --> 00:22:39,967
You haven't touched
your chicken-y cereal.
642
00:22:39,969 --> 00:22:41,592
I thought we agreed
it was milky chicken.
643
00:22:41,594 --> 00:22:43,390
- Some friend you are!
- I'm sorry.
644
00:22:43,392 --> 00:22:44,474
I just know now
645
00:22:44,476 --> 00:22:47,302
that Americans electing
a smart, female president
646
00:22:47,304 --> 00:22:48,428
is a fairy tale.
647
00:22:48,430 --> 00:22:49,886
Don't knock fairy tales.
648
00:22:49,888 --> 00:22:51,652
Fairy tales give us hope.
649
00:22:51,654 --> 00:22:53,318
And they teach us how poor people
650
00:22:53,320 --> 00:22:55,209
need magic and talking mice to succeed.
651
00:22:55,211 --> 00:22:57,833
Or they're the basis for
an entire political dynasty.
652
00:22:57,835 --> 00:22:59,500
They do give us hope, don't they?
653
00:22:59,502 --> 00:23:01,458
People sort of need them.
654
00:23:01,460 --> 00:23:04,541
Hey, can you guys give me
a ride back to Washington?
655
00:23:05,656 --> 00:23:08,071
We'll do it for one million dollars.
656
00:23:08,073 --> 00:23:09,779
- And a toy!
- No.
657
00:23:09,781 --> 00:23:11,904
Fine, but a heads up:
none of us drive good.
658
00:23:19,248 --> 00:23:21,185
I rented the crane for seven days
659
00:23:21,187 --> 00:23:22,280
but the suit for one.
660
00:23:22,282 --> 00:23:24,155
Real hot dogs and buns situation here.
661
00:23:24,157 --> 00:23:26,571
The defense will now make their case.
662
00:23:26,573 --> 00:23:28,113
Whoo! Go defense!
663
00:23:28,115 --> 00:23:30,529
That's who I'm secretly rooting for!
664
00:23:30,531 --> 00:23:32,696
Not a secret anymore now, is it?
665
00:23:32,698 --> 00:23:34,654
Who do you think you are, my dad?
666
00:23:34,656 --> 00:23:37,904
What do I, walk in on you
all the time shaving your ass?
667
00:23:37,906 --> 00:23:40,108
And then you tell me
to go get the vacuum?
668
00:23:40,110 --> 00:23:41,446
Is that what you think you are?
669
00:23:41,448 --> 00:23:42,522
Well, you aren't!
670
00:23:42,524 --> 00:23:44,697
Hey, has anyone seen my flask?
671
00:23:44,698 --> 00:23:46,863
It looks like an old
bottle of sunscreen.
672
00:23:46,865 --> 00:23:49,126
Actually it is an old
bottle of sunscreen.
673
00:23:49,128 --> 00:23:50,404
Lifetime appointment, folks.
674
00:23:50,406 --> 00:23:51,779
Would the attorney for Mr. Trump
675
00:23:51,781 --> 00:23:53,125
deliver their opening statement?
676
00:23:53,127 --> 00:23:55,155
Attorney General Barr is in Indiana
677
00:23:55,157 --> 00:23:57,155
digging up dirt on Pete Buttigieg...
678
00:23:57,157 --> 00:23:58,711
Spoiler: he might be gay...
679
00:23:58,713 --> 00:24:00,654
while Giuliani is testing pick up lines
680
00:24:00,656 --> 00:24:02,155
at the 9/11 Memorial.
681
00:24:02,157 --> 00:24:03,988
So I'll be representing myself.
682
00:24:03,990 --> 00:24:07,654
Folks, I've been so concerned
with weaving a fairy tale
683
00:24:07,656 --> 00:24:10,155
about how I'm the least
criminal president in history
684
00:24:10,157 --> 00:24:11,654
that I forgot the facts.
685
00:24:11,656 --> 00:24:13,904
Specifically, Republicans
have a Senate majority
686
00:24:13,906 --> 00:24:15,946
so I can get away with whatever I want.
687
00:24:15,948 --> 00:24:17,654
- The end.
- That's my guy!
688
00:24:17,656 --> 00:24:19,487
Greetings, people of 2020.
689
00:24:19,489 --> 00:24:20,946
I'm from the future.
690
00:24:20,948 --> 00:24:23,321
Do not remove Trump from
office for mankind's...
691
00:24:23,323 --> 00:24:24,946
Mike, I'm not resigning.
692
00:24:24,948 --> 00:24:26,030
Someone should've told you.
693
00:24:28,823 --> 00:24:30,044
Aw, crap!
694
00:24:30,046 --> 00:24:32,362
Kennedy, your family's
experts on this sort of thing.
695
00:24:32,364 --> 00:24:33,571
Get to work. I'm okay.
696
00:24:33,573 --> 00:24:34,946
If anyone finds any bones,
697
00:24:34,948 --> 00:24:37,451
just slip them into the
pocket of my hiking shorts.
698
00:24:37,453 --> 00:24:39,529
Thank God. Alright, everyone, shut up!
699
00:24:39,531 --> 00:24:40,696
This is Cuomo Prime Time,
700
00:24:40,698 --> 00:24:42,571
my first guest is Elizabeth Warren.
701
00:24:42,573 --> 00:24:43,863
The fact of the matter is
702
00:24:43,865 --> 00:24:45,999
that the Senate Republicans
have the majority.
703
00:24:46,001 --> 00:24:47,636
And if there's one thing I've learned,
704
00:24:47,638 --> 00:24:49,821
it's that facts can be a real bummer.
705
00:24:49,823 --> 00:24:51,904
If you want to win over
the American people,
706
00:24:51,906 --> 00:24:53,030
you've got to give them hope.
707
00:24:53,032 --> 00:24:55,654
You got to tell them a
story they can believe in.
708
00:24:55,656 --> 00:24:58,030
And, sure, maybe it's a fairy tale,
709
00:24:58,032 --> 00:25:00,988
but it gives us something to aspire to.
710
00:25:04,364 --> 00:25:06,280
And that's why I want to be
711
00:25:06,282 --> 00:25:10,948
the first Native American
President in history.
712
00:25:13,240 --> 00:25:16,696
Bill, I got a lane to run for president!
713
00:25:16,698 --> 00:25:19,039
Would you mind leaving
the country for a year?
714
00:25:19,041 --> 00:25:20,153
No problem.
715
00:25:20,155 --> 00:25:21,796
Dershowitz and I just got a hot tip
716
00:25:21,798 --> 00:25:24,388
on a man who looks
like Jeffy down in Peru.
717
00:25:24,390 --> 00:25:26,078
If anyone asks, we flew the whole way
718
00:25:26,080 --> 00:25:27,838
with our underpants on. Bye.
719
00:25:27,840 --> 00:25:30,005
Each Senator, when his
or her name is called,
720
00:25:30,007 --> 00:25:33,629
will stand in his or her place
and vote guilty or not guilty.
721
00:25:33,631 --> 00:25:35,424
Guilty. Native American?!
722
00:25:35,426 --> 00:25:36,883
Come on, Liz, we've been through this.
723
00:25:36,885 --> 00:25:40,133
Despite every word out
of my mouth before 2016,
724
00:25:40,135 --> 00:25:42,841
the President is an angel on Earth.
725
00:25:42,843 --> 00:25:44,104
Not guilty.
726
00:25:44,106 --> 00:25:46,508
Ted Cruuuuz!
727
00:25:46,510 --> 00:25:50,175
Allow me to consult the Lord.
728
00:25:52,677 --> 00:25:54,175
Not guilty!
729
00:25:54,177 --> 00:25:55,217
Senator Collins?
730
00:25:56,516 --> 00:25:58,175
Senator?
731
00:25:58,177 --> 00:25:59,383
A little clearer.
732
00:26:00,760 --> 00:26:02,758
- Senator.
- I'm a little girl.
733
00:26:02,760 --> 00:26:06,716
I can't vote. Tra-la-la-lee-loo!
734
00:26:06,718 --> 00:26:11,085
President Trump is a
symptom of a larger problem
735
00:26:11,087 --> 00:26:12,092
with the system
736
00:26:12,094 --> 00:26:14,700
that I will now describe in detail.
737
00:26:14,702 --> 00:26:15,800
We don't have time for this.
738
00:26:15,802 --> 00:26:17,050
We'll just mark down "guilty".
739
00:26:17,052 --> 00:26:18,258
Yeah, okay, sure.
740
00:26:18,260 --> 00:26:21,050
In the name of preserving
the infrastructure bill,
741
00:26:21,052 --> 00:26:22,133
not guilty.
742
00:26:22,135 --> 00:26:24,050
The President is a
disgrace to the office,
743
00:26:24,052 --> 00:26:25,883
a blight on our nation's history,
744
00:26:25,885 --> 00:26:28,358
and an existential threat
to democracy itself.
745
00:26:28,360 --> 00:26:29,389
Not guilty.
746
00:26:29,391 --> 00:26:30,549
According to the tally,
747
00:26:30,551 --> 00:26:31,883
on these articles of impeachment,
748
00:26:31,885 --> 00:26:34,967
the President is not guilty as charged.
749
00:26:34,969 --> 00:26:36,967
- Way to go, dad!
- Way to win!
750
00:26:36,969 --> 00:26:39,092
Oh, thank God. I'm so happy!
751
00:26:39,094 --> 00:26:40,461
Hey, what'd I miss?
752
00:26:40,463 --> 00:26:43,092
Anyway, I want you guys to meet Brenda.
753
00:26:43,094 --> 00:26:44,677
Come here, Brenda. We just did it
754
00:26:44,679 --> 00:26:46,299
in the North Tower reflecting pool.
755
00:26:46,301 --> 00:26:48,133
We did it, Mr. President.
756
00:26:48,135 --> 00:26:49,189
Check it out.
757
00:26:49,191 --> 00:26:52,092
My hat's staying on
and I'm nodding my head!
758
00:26:52,094 --> 00:26:53,811
Did you hear that?
759
00:26:53,813 --> 00:26:56,175
They're celebrating my
acquittal in the streets!
760
00:26:58,094 --> 00:27:00,641
I don't get it. The Democrats are happy?
761
00:27:00,643 --> 00:27:01,735
We did it!
762
00:27:01,737 --> 00:27:04,008
We kind of held the
president accountable!
763
00:27:06,927 --> 00:27:08,591
But most importantly,
764
00:27:08,593 --> 00:27:11,092
we showed that this story isn't over!
765
00:27:13,677 --> 00:27:15,883
What is she talking about?
766
00:27:15,885 --> 00:27:17,424
Oh, yeah, the election.
767
00:28:15,510 --> 00:28:17,593
Trump!