Jessie.
Jessie, wake up.
Hmm.
Jessie.
- Get up. - Mmm.
What time is it? Did I miss the alarm?
No, no, we're good, we're good.
But you have to get up now 'cause I have something
really, really awesome to show you.
Did you draw a dick on my face?
- Uh-huh. - Gimme the pen!
You think you're funny?
I'm gonna draw a big, fat juicy dick on your face.
- Where's the pen? - Fuck off, dude!
- I have a surprise for you. - I don't believe you.
Stay down. Right here!
Get the fuck off me, dude! I have a surprise for you!
- I don't believe you. - Get your butt off me.
No, it's like the best fucking surprise ever.
- Is it a big surprise? - The biggest.
Get off. It's in Brandon's room.
I'm gonna kill you if you woke me up for no reason.
No, you're gonna love me so much, dude. Come on.
Oh, my God!
I can't believe your brother shares a room with this guy.
I can't believe we share a house with the two of them.
Touché.
Wow, Brandon is such a perv.
At least he watches girl on girl, though.
Regular porn is like, so sad.
Ugh! Oh, my God!
- What? - Is she peeing?
I don't know. There's, like, so much.
I think so. That's a thing, though, golden showers.
- Gross. No. - No?
I'm not into it. Don't ever pee on me.
I kinda actually have to pee right now, though.
It's so far to the bathroom, dude.
Okay! Ange, stop!
Stop, okay? What do you wanna show me?
Okay, close your eyes.
Okay, you can open them.
Oh, that's so pretty. Where is that?
That, my dear, is where you will be turning 17 next week!
- What? - Yeah.
There was a deal on Hotpons,
so I went ahead and bought it,
and we are going to Galveston for your birthday.
Surprise!
Oh, my God! Are you serious?
- Yeah. - Oh, my God!
Look, look, look.
Here's the condo we'll be staying at,
and it has a pool and a hot tub.
And look, it's right on the beach.
Holy shit, Ange.
This is so nice, but how? I mean...
Where'd you get the money for this?
Okay, so don't freak out. Um, I used our rent money.
But I already talked to Roderick,
and he gave us almost every shift this week,
so we'll totally make enough before we leave.
You used our rent money for this?
A week before rent is due?
Yeah, but, dude, we're working, okay?
So, we'll totally make it back.
I can't believe you didn't ask me about this.
I wanted to surprise you, dude.
Listen, Jessie. Your 16th birthday was shit.
Okay? And you've been talking about going to the beach
since I met you, and it's finally happening this week.
Unless you just, like, absolutely don't wanna go.
We still have two hours to get a refund.
But I really don't think we should, dude.
It's already paid for, and we already have the shifts.
Look at this. Right?
You deserve this. We deserve this.
- Ten shifts each? - Straight money.
So, do you wanna go?
Okay, yes. I wanna go.
Are you sure? Because I really want us to go.
Yes, I'm sure. You know what?
- We deserve this. - Uh-huh.
We work our asses off. If we want to go to the beach,
we're goin' to the fuckin' beach.
Let's go to the fucking beach!
--♪ I got a reputation to uphold
- Lemme see it! - Wait, wait, wait.
♪ I can't hold it back, can only let it go
- Aaah! - Dude, come on!
♪ Pick it up, pick it up
♪ You know that it's not necessary
♪ Keep it down, keep it down now
♪ They hate our voices when they carry
♪ You've got a reputation to uphold
♪ What's the closest emotion?
♪ I want to explode
♪ Pick it up, pick it up, yeah I want to explode
♪ Oh!
♪ Just right quick while I'm changing direction
♪ Lemme settle down, lemme ask you a question
♪ Girl, how you feel? Don't lie
♪ Can I keep it real? Don't lie
♪ Gonna speak my peace before I lose control
♪ Got a reputation to uphold
♪ I thought that you should know... ♪
Hey.
Hey there.
Girls!
Hey!
One of y'all kids needs to mow that lawn!
Maybe you need to mow your lawn!
The city's gonna come down on you.
- The city's gonna cum on us? - "Come down"!
- No, no, that's her job! - Yeah!
Y'all are dirty, dirty girls.
♪ I want to explode
♪ Pick it up, pick it up, yeah I want to explode
♪ Oh!
♪ Pick it up, pick it up, yeah I want to explode
♪ Oh! ♪
Don't you wanna go say hi to your mom?
Ha-ha.
Hey, you know, at least she has a job.
If you're gonna go from man to man,
you might as well get paid for it.
True dat.
Scrambled eggs.
I want sliced tomato instead of bacon,
an order of hash browns with cheese and onions,
and he will have...
Get out from under there.
Do you want a smiley-face pancake?
You better get out from under there
or you're not getting dessert.
And he'll have a smiley-face pancake
with whipped cream and chocolate chips and an orange juice.
No! I want chocolate milk!
No, you're getting an orange juice.
No!
I guess he wants a chocolate milk.
I swear to God,
if Crystal seats me with one more fucking toddler...
Uh, have you seen my section of olds?
The likelihood of one of them dying here tonight
is higher than I am now.
Speaking of-- ♪ I've got your green. ♪
Meet me in the bathroom. Ten minutes.
Wait! Hey! Hey!
Angela.
I'm not meeting him in the bathroom again.
Who the fuck pisses in the middle of a drug deal?
I'll go. I'll punch him in the dick. I don't give a fuck.
Ladies. I need one of you to take off tomorrow morning.
I may have promised a shift to Crystal.
- No, sorry. Can't do it. - We have to make rent money.
I know, I know.
You're on the schedule at least 10 times.
It's only one shift. Who's gonna be the good guy here?
Dude, she's a hostess.
She doesn't even know how to wait tables.
At least I show up. And sober.
It's not gonna happen, so get over it.
Okay, ladies, that's enough.
I'm sorry, Crystal. Another time.
It's fine. I may just come in anyway,
for when they screw you by not showing up.
Language.
By the way, you have three down on table eight.
You're gonna need two boosters, asshole.
- Jessie. Jessie. - Right this way.
Don't give me a reason to have to call her in tomorrow, okay?
Be here in the morning.
We will.
Bitch.
I'm gonna go with Ryan
and make sure it goes down like it is supposed to.
- Trust me, man. - I'm trying.
But that's a lot of money we talkin' about here.
Hey, my money's in this shit, too.
- Yeah, and mine. - See?
We're all in this together.
From here on out, we're not just
a bunch of dudes goin' in on a pound.
I feel like...
And maybe it's too soon to say,
but I feel like y'all are my squad.
Man. I been needing a new squad.
We are gonna build our squad on one thing:
- Trust. - Oooh!
Trust. That's what I'm talkin' 'bout, baby!
My boy!
Yeah. Trust, man.
All right. Now, go on, have a drink, chill out.
I'll let you know when the deed is done.
What up?
Oh, and we'll hit you up from Ryan's phone, man.
Your boy's almost outta minutes.
How was work?
Um...
Shitty as usual. What was that about?
Oh, let's just say that your big bro is about to make bank!
Me and my boys goin' in on a pound, cheap as fuck.
Wait, what?
Dustin, come on. I thought that you quit dealing?
What? I was waiting for the right business opportunity.
And I gots it.
Well, be careful, okay?
Dealing's dangerous.
We're gonna bounce now. Y'all gonna be up later? What's up?
No, we're not, 'cause we actually have to work tomorrow.
- So keep it down. - Sucks for y'all.
Not when we're at the beach next week.
Do what?
What beach?
- Galveston. - How'd y'all swing that?
It's called a J-O-B.
Gross.
- Galveston's a piece of shit. - Fuck you!
Why don't y'all go to Destin? It's not that much further.
Well, we don't all have rich daddies to pay
for our bougie-ass vacations to fuckin' Florida, okay?
- Bougie! - Man,
how many times I gotta tell y'all.
He don't pay for my shit no more.
I gotta work for my allowance.
Come on, pretty boy.
What an asshole.
Your brother, too. Fuck them all, dude.
Fuck, I'm tired, man. What the...
- Whoa! What the fuck? - Fucking knock!
Damn. What are y'all doin' in here anyway?
I heard some sexy stuff back there.
- Get the fuck out! - I wanna ask you something.
What do you want?
I just wanted you to know, in case you forgot,
I share a room with your brother,
and I really don't think
you'd want him to see something like this,
right here, on my computer.
That's not me, dude.
Why don't you turn around and prove it?
- Eww! Get the fuck out! - I know that's Angela's butt.
It's fittin' to be a full moon tonight. And every night!
It's always gonna be a full moon in my room!
- Bye! Good-bye! Bye! - Damn!
And you can use my computer anytime you want,
- but please give me that back! - No! Fuck off! No! Bye!
- Jesus. - We live with idiots.
These need to be washed, like, yesterday.
Well, we can leave early, go by your favorite Laundromat.
Fuck you.
I wonder how many guys
have to worry about their boxers
being stolen by creepy perverts at the Laundromat?
- None, I'm sure. - No, obviously not, and yet
this is still real-life shit that we have to worry about
when we wanna wash our clothes.
It's not only gross, it's fucking expensive.
When we get our own place,
the only thing that I care about is having a washing machine.
Uh-huh.
When you turn 18 you should just, like,
legally adopt me so we can go ahead and move out already.
I'm like four months older than you, you goof.
Plus, it's not like Dustin's gonna tell anyone.
Like, you could just leave.
Probably not, but either way,
you cannot leave me alone here with these two,
'cause I will literally die.
Jessie, I have told you, like, a hundred times,
I'm not going anywhere without you, okay?
When we move out, we move out together.
Dolphies, dude.
Dolphies.
My God, we're gonna see real dolphins soon.
Oh, I'm so excited. Are you happy?
Happy? I'm obsessed with this trip.
I can't stop thinking about it.
I know. Me, too. It's gonna be the best time.
Best birthday ever.
- Hey. - Hmm.
Rise and shine, little sleepyhead.
What time is it?
Time to get up for school.
I don't wanna go to school.
Well, you're in luck.
You quit school and you work at a diner
and you get to spend all day there.
That sounds awful, too.
It is, but...
in five days, we're gonna be at the beach,
- so that's something. - Hmm.
Yo!
Dustin!
- Who is that? - Come on, fellas! Damn!
Yo, ain't nobody here, dude.
Somebody here. Where else they gonna be?
Ain't got no damn job.
I think it's that guy from last night.
- He's with some kid. - Come on!
You know how suspicious you lookin' right now, dude?
I don't give a fuck how suspicious I look!
Man, ain't nobody home.
- Dude, where you goin' now? - Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey!
I see you! Hey, I see you!
You don't see nothin'!
What the fuck is he doing here?
- There's shades on the window. - Bro, I just seen somebody.
- You can't see nothin'! - Hey! Open the door!
I'm not leavin' without my money!
Fuck, I think he's trying to break the door down. Go, go!
Bro, don't do it!
- What? What the... - Where those motherfuckers at?
You broke down our door! You gonna pay for that shit?
I ain't payin' for shit. Dustin! Ryan!
Ryan doesn't even live here! What are you doing, man?
I'm getting my money, that's what!
What money? What the fuck?
Hey, yo, Dustin, man!
Who the fuck is this? Get the fuck out of my house!
Dustin, come out and deal with your shit, man.
You broke our fucking door!
Fuck that door. Listen, bro, come here.
- Get the fuck out! - Who the fuck is this kid?
Hey, listen. This is what I need you to do. Listen.
- Get $500 worth of stuff. - What?
You touch anything, I'm calling the fucking police!
- Where's the phone? - This is our shit, okay?
Dustin didn't pay for any of this!
- That's not bad. - Dude, I painted that!
You don't steal someone's painting!
Don't touch my PlayStation!
- Bro, I got something. - No!
- Let's go. - This is my fucking TV!
I got a TV for you, bro. Big-ass TV, too!
- Oh, there you go! Go! - Take it!
- Hell yeah, I want this. - Take it off my hands! Go!
Get the fuck outta here.
Thank you! Take it!
Out!
- "Beaches"! - No!
- Yeah! Let's go, bro. - Big fucking lottery win, huh?
Good job!
Chill! Wait, wait, wait! Come on, bro.
Well, have fun picking this shit up!
Let's get it. One, two, three!
Fucking call Antique Roadshow.
We got your fucking license plate, idiot!
Hey, You better not call the cops!
This shit's between me and Ryan, all right?
The cops? No one wants that, bro!
- Thank you! - We don't care!
No one fucking cares!
- It doesn't even fucking work! - Bye!
Bye, have a nice day. Thank you.
No, thank you!
- Don't fucking come back! - Get the fuck outta here, bro!
- Fuck you! - Fuck you!
Fuck you, guys!
Oh, God. Who called the cops?
So, this Tony person.
He's a friend of yours?
I mean, yeah, I kinda know the guy.
- Kinda? - We just hooked back up.
I mean, I thought we were hitting it off.
Hittin' it off?
Are you homosexual, son?
No.
Not at all. Not that there's anything wrong with it.
Well, is this Tony person a homosexual?
I mean, do you have a problem with homosexuals?
No!
Well, I sure hope not. 'Cause I'm a homosexual.
I sure hate being discriminated against.
No, Officer, I swear. I love homo...
...sexuals.
I'm not one, but if I was,
I would be proud of my gayness.
Love is love.
- How 'bout you? - Me? No.
I mean, not that I haven't had thoughts, sir,
but I've never acted on them.
I guess there was a thing with Benny Brewster...
Do you know this Tony person?
Hmm? No.
Right.
So, what you're saying is
that someone you all know
came over here at 7:00 a.m., knocked down your door,
and stole your stuff, and none of you know why?
Well, I mean, call me crazy,
but by any chance, this have anything to do with drug money?
- No. - No one here
- does drugs, Officer. - Mmm-mmm.
Then maybe you wouldn't mind if we took a look around?
Assess the damages?
Ah. Well, well.
No, Officer, no one went back there, I promise you!
Now, that is one big piece of glass.
Now, what would two girls like you
be doin' with such a big piece of glass?
Ready, set, go!
Did we just tie again?
I can't believe we tied again.
Jessie, you're so goddamn pretty. I love your hair.
- I love your hair! - I love my hair, too.
It smells so good. You wanna smell it?
It smells so good!
It was such a good idea to get that strawberry shampoo.
Yeah, we have to get more.
We still have some. Plenty, I think.
When we run out, we have to get strawberry again.
- You're so goddamn smart. - You're so smart, too.
- Wanna make out? - Yes.
Mmm.
Well, what do we have here?
♪ Lit like a bic, pour the gasoline on me
♪ Let it burn, let it burn, let it burn
♪ Lit like a bic, pour the gasoline on me
♪ Let it burn, let it burn, let it burn
♪ I'ma fuck around and play with fire, fire
♪ I'ma fuck around and play with fire
♪ Got a red Ferrari and a death wish
♪ I got a red Ferrari and a death wish
♪ Mothafuckas know that I'm a bad bitch ♪
Hey! Hey, the fucking phone isn't working!
How the fuck are we supposed to make a phone call?
Ma'am? Ma'am, excuse me.
Um, we have to call our work.
Can we please borrow your phone? It'll just take a second.
Can you hear me?
We don't have any quarters!
There's not even a fucking place to put the quarters!
What the fuck is a collect call?
Asshole, dude.
Oh, my God, I'm gonna kill my fucking brother.
Yeah, you and me both.
I told him to stop with all this
because he's not fucking smart enough to be a drug dealer.
- Clearly. - Ugh! Goddamn it!
I knew we should've returned the trip.
This is exactly the type of thing that I was worried about.
What, that'd we'd get robbed and go to jail for it?
No, that something would happen, because it always does.
Jessie, this wasn't our fault. We had nothing to do with this.
It doesn't matter whose fault it is.
We're gonna get fired, we're not gonna be able to pay our rent,
we're gonna get kicked out, and I'm gonna have to live
with my fucking racist grandparents in Arkansas.
- I just can't do it! - Whoa, okay, okay. Relax.
Relax, dude. Sit down.
Okay.
Take a breath.
There you go. You're all right.
Okay.
First of all,
I will kidnap you and take you to Mexico
before I let you go to Arkansas, so that's just not gonna happen.
Second, Roderick loves us, dude, okay?
He's not gonna fire us for this.
He's gonna be pissed,
but he'll get over it, he always does.
This is not a big deal.
- Okay. - Okay?
- You're right. - Yeah.
- It's just jail. - It's just jail.
- It's fine. - Yeah.
- It's not a big deal. - No.
Shut your eyes and get some rest, okay?
I mean, they can't keep us in here for long,
so we will be out of here before you know it.
What?
♪ Got a red Ferrari and a death wish
♪ I got a red Ferrari and a death wish
♪ Mothafuckas know that I'm a bad bitch
♪ Got a red Ferrari and a death wish ♪
Hold, ladies.
You're there, you're here.
Lock 'em up!
All right, ladies. Let's go.
Oh, my God, I missed you!
- What up? - Oh, my shit!
Oh, you've gotta be fucking kidding me, bro!
What the fuck is he doing here, Dustin?
- Calm down. Take it easy. - Take it easy?
We spent two days in juvie 'cause of your robbing ass!
What the fuck are you doing here?
I'm sorry, okay? It was a misunderstanding.
I ain't even mean to...
You didn't mean to break down our door and fucking rob us?
Yeah, about that. I'm sorry, man.
- Hey, that shit was stupid. - You wanna know what's stupid?
Not being able to use the goddamn bathroom for two days
because you're in fucking jail!
- You didn't go yet? - No, I told you I couldn't.
I thought you went last night.
There's no privacy in that place.
- Dude, that's not healthy. - No shit!
"No shit"?
I just got... That's why you my boy.
Hell no. You think this is funny?
We're probably fired because of your dumb asses.
- Fuck! Gimme your phone. - My dumb ass?
- Yeah, you! - What did I do?
- Y'all had all the drugs. - Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
Good day, Officer.
You're the one whose little friend here
was yelling in our yard, waking up our neighbors,
oh, and robbing our goddamn house
at 7:00 in the fucking morning!
I'm sorry about that. Don't be bringing' that shit up again.
And here I am
signing your little teenybopper asses out of juvie,
so why don't you ease up off your boy?
Thank you, Dustin. Really, thank you so much.
- He's gonna see us. - What did he say? Was he pissed?
He just said that we should come dressed and we better have
- a damn good excuse. - Oh, God. Thank God.
Oh, well, thank God. Ain't that nice?
Now, can we please go, ladies?
- Yeah, let's do that, bro. - Let's jam.
Thank you. Let's get outta here, baby. Ooh-ooh-ooh!
♪ Y'all make me feel good
Yo, can you turn this shit down?
♪ Take a look back there
♪ I hope that y'all ready to ride
Yo, she's fucking talking to you!
♪ And right now there's no backing down
Really?
♪ This the end of the road No Boyz II Men
♪ We way in too deep to try and pretend
♪ This move go good Next step I resign
♪ Full house on the river No chips left behind ♪
Yo!
Hey!
Hey, where are you going?
What's it look like? Fittin' to get our grub on!
Oh, Dustin, come on. Can't we just go home? Please?
You been in the slam for two days.
You can't tell me you ain't hungry.
I'm hungry.
We don't have time. We have to go home and get ready for work.
We don't have to be there for six hours.
I have to use the bathroom.
Oh, lucky you. They got a bathroom inside.
Look. This is the least I can do for you girls
after what y'all been through.
What, let Brandon give us free sandwiches?
I just bailed y'all asses out of jail.
No, you signed us out of the juvie holding cell,
after we sat out the cost of our tickets.
And here I am being a good dude
and gettin' y'all fed and stuff.
Now, come on, man. Let's go eat.
Dude. Sandwiches.
Ah, shit! Look at these jailbirds all up in my biz!
What the fuck is under your hat?
Oh, yeah, my new 'do. You like? What do you think?
- No. - I don't know.
It's maybe an improvement.
I'm tellin' you, the '90s are back, and I happen to be
one of the only persons
who could actually rock this look right here.
I don't wanna hear about this.
Yeah, you and Carrot Top.
Well, you watch.
In a month or two, everybody's gonna be lookin' like this,
but guess what.
I'll have moved on to the next thing.
Why wait when you can just move on now? You know?
For real, bro, I'm getting hungry
just looking at them curly fries.
Hook us up, man!
Hey, you're lucky my boss is off today.
I'ma hook you up,
but next time you guys gotta call first, okay?
Man, when isn't your boss off, bro?
I ain't never seen that dude.
I feel like you're the manager around this joint.
You're runnin' the shit, bro.
What? Ah, the manager.
Manager.
I'ma hook y'all up. I'm hookin' y'all up!
What y'all want?
Feelin' better?
Did you go?
Can we please not talk about this?
Did you?
Jessie, seriously, this is getting ridiculous.
It's actually gettin' a little bit dangerous.
Shut up about it, okay?
I can't go here. I'll go at home.
So if you care so much, hurry up
and finish eating your fucking sandwich so we can leave.
So?
- What? - What do you mean, "What?"
Why the fuck was this dude robbing us?
Ah, right. You wanna...
Nah, man. You got this one, bro.
All right. Well...
Y'all remember the night before the robbery and all that?
Well, me and my boys
were fittin' to go in on a pound together,
and it did not go as planned.
Yo, are you sure this is the right place?
Yeah, man, I got the address right here.
Maybe we should try knocking.
All right, baby boy.
You're gonna empty your pockets,
you're gonna gimme all of your shit,
and then you're gonna get the fuck off of this porch
and out of the game. Got it?
Holy shit, Dustin.
You realize you could've been killed.
I know, dude. It was some scary shit.
Not that I'm glad that this happened,
but you need to stop dealing and get a job.
For sure. I mean, that's the plan. Right?
Mmm-hmm.
However--
It is gonna take us a minute to get our careers goin',
so I might need to borrow a little for rent this month.
Jesus Christ, Dustin. How much is a little?
- All of it. - What?
Are you serious? You used your rent money for this?
Yo, that's how selling works, man.
You gotta have money to make money.
Guess what. We don't even have our own rent money.
- So we can't help you. - Bullshit! Uh-uh.
Y'all been working every day this week.
I know you're rollin'. Talkin' 'bout beach trips and shit.
Beach? What beach?
I mean, just Galveston, but still.
- Y'all can suck a dick. - Seriously.
Dustin, I don't care how you do it,
but you better come up with that money by the first
or I don't even know what.
Okay? Now, will you please take me home
so I can use the goddamn bathroom?
Move! Move!
How hard is it to fill up a goddamn water jug, people?
Do you wanna shower first, or should I?
There's no fucking toilet paper.
Here.
No.
Dustin, you need to go to the store.
You need to replenish the toilet paper.
Oh! You still ain't gone doo-doo?
There's no fucking toilet paper!
You don't need toilet paper.
Just wash your butt in the shower. That's how I do.
I did not need to know that. You're disgusting.
Yeah, if we had any water!
When did the water get turned off?
- Oh, shit. - What? Did you not pay the bill?
We already gave you the money for this month.
Man, I forgot, dude.
- I meant to call, for real. - Oh, God. Unbelievable.
I hate this day.
Me, too.
I just wanna take a hot shower and put on some cozy clothes
and sleep until Monday.
I'd give almost anything to do that right now.
I'm kinda starting to regret buying this trip.
I'm really sorry all this is happening.
What? Angela, hell no.
Look, all of this shit is 100% my brother's fault, okay?
And whatever ends up happening, he has to deal with it.
You and I are going on this trip,
and we're gonna see some motherfuckin' dolphins,
smoke some motherfuckin' ganja
and eat some motherfuckin' doughnuts on the beach.
Okay?
- Okay. - Okay?
Okay.
- Come on, let's go. - No!
No, man, we don't sell our own jeans.
We steal them first, and then we sell those.
Where the hell are we supposed to get $300 jeans?
No, I'm good, man.
Uh...
Nordstrom's or Neiman's.
- Neiman's? - What?
I ain't stealing shit out of Neiman Marcus.
All right, so you'll rob your best friend,
but you won't steal from a department store?
"Best friend."
Number one,
that was the first time I ever robbed anybody,
- which I'm very sorry about. - We cool.
Number two, look at me.
I can let y'all borrow some clothes.
He don't get it.
Look, man, I'm a young black man.
You could give me an Armani suit.
If I walk into Neiman Marcus,
they're gonna automatically think I'm stealing.
You wouldn't understand.
- Man, that ain't right. - It ain't right.
- People need to get woke. - Get woke.
All right. On the phone, you said you had "ideas."
- That's one. - Man, we steal them,
and then we sell them-- that's two.
Seriously? What the fuck is he doing in our house?
Yo, it wasn't my fault, man. We got robbed.
Did you know that was his rent money?
My money got ganked that night, too.
I'm trying to fix this shit for all of us.
Why don't you have your daddy send you some fucking money?
Man, I already told you. He cut me off a long time ago.
How do y'all not understand this shit?
How the fuck are you paying for this juice then?
Get your hands off my juice!
Will everybody chill the fuck out? Please.
- Daddy got this. - Oh, God.
Me and my boys are makin' a plan right now, so get on!
All right, so we need to decide on an excuse.
I was thinking, since it worked so well last time...
No.
No. I know what you're gonna say and I'm not doing it.
Come on. Like, a car accident is the best excuse.
Dude, no, it's not.
I almost lost a fucking tooth that time.
Okay. I'm ready.
No, no, no, no! Wait, wait, wait, wait! I'm scared.
Okay, okay.
- Just take a deep breath. - Okay.
Close your eyes, okay?
It's gonna be over so fast. Promise.
- Okay. - Okay?
Just don't hit my nose.
I won't.
- Promise? - Promise.
Okay.
We got so many sympathy tips.
Because people thought we were, like, battered women, okay?
It's not worth it.
Why do your plans always have to require bodily harm?
They don't always.
Chicken pox?
Ugh, they're biting me!
I can't feel anything at all.
Maybe they don't like my blood.
It's on my face!
Oh, my God!
Goddamn. That was actually by far the worst.
Really? Even worse than drinking that milk that time?
Um, yeah. I mean, not that I like throwing up,
but at least it was kind of easy.
- Mmm-mmm. - Mmm-hmm.
Roderick?
Um, I think we have the stomach flu.
We need to go home.
You know, he wasn't even mad, just, like, genuinely concerned.
He was kinda mad, though.
He has such a good heart, that Roderick.
Dude, are you okay?
I'm good. I just need a minute.
Jessie, look, you can't hold it in forever.
Just run inside and use their bathroom.
I can't, okay? It's already been too long.
This is getting serious. It's been almost three days.
Like, what if your intestines, like, explode,
and then your whole body is poisoned and then you die?
That's not a real thing, okay?
Dude, you are literally full of shit right now!
I swear to God, if you don't shut up...
You know what you need, dude? Prunes.
Come on. Dude, I'm serious.
There's like nothing in this world that prunes can't fix.
That's not true. Like, at all.
One hundred percent true.
Yes. Sample aisle.
Prunes.
I saw that, you little thief.
What did you just call me?
I'm buying these.
Does he work here?
Hell no, he doesn't work here.
All right. Come on. Just walk away.
Okay, let's go. Yeah?
Mmm.
No, come on. He's not worth it.
- Fuck it. Hey! - Wait. Don't.
Hey! Over here! Hi!
Hope you're watching to make sure I don't steal anything.
Oh, no, that's right, I'm buying these!
You're not buying those nuts. That's theft!
You stand over there and you eat and you eat.
You know who pays for all that? Me!
And all the other people who shop here
when they raise the prices to cover for thieves like you!
It's called sampling. I had like three nuts.
And your little friend here, dressed like that.
Have some decency!
What?
Dressed like what? It's, like, a thousand degrees outside.
Like a whore. Like a thief and a whore.
- What did you just call us? - You heard me.
Go home! Put some clothes on!
Whores, huh?
Okay. Probably not the kind you like to fuck, though, right?
Not quite young enough I bet,
you fucking pedophile-looking jizz mopper.
Fucking disgusting rent-a-cop wanna-be,
Woody Allen-looking dick face.
Fuck you, dude!
We are leaving now,
but only 'cause I can't spend another second
looking at your dumb, hideous face
and your oddly-shaped head,
which is probably the closest thing to a penis
on your disgusting, rotting, wilting body, you filth!
Die!
Get out of here!
Bye!
Dude! That was fucking crazy! You're such a badass!
Dude, I know! What a motherfucker! Fuck!
Fuck you!
Wait, isn't that Paul's car?
Oh, yeah.
Wait, wait, come here. Dude, come on!
He used to do this shit to me
all the time when he worked with us.
Me, too. I used to fucking hate it.
Yeah.
I can't believe that old fuck called me a whore.
Dude, I know. Motherfucker!
His poor wife. Did you see her? She almost had a heart attack.
Yeah, I never know if I should, like,
feel bad for women like that.
Like, why would you be with someone so horrible?
I don't know, dude. It's sad.
When I see a couple like that,
all I can think about is that at some point in her life,
he had a boner and she let him put it in her.
Eww! Why is that what you think about?
I can't help it. Wait, wait.
One, two, three.
Oh, you fucking bitches! Why?
Oh, my God! Finally! We fucking finally got you back!
- No, that shit wasn't funny. - I'm sorry. I love you.
Eww, no. One of y'all smell like shit.
- It's our fucking uniforms. - Yeah.
We have to work tonight,
but we have to go to the Laundromat first,
because clearly we smell like feces, so...
Wait, wait, wait. Work?
You're not hittin' up Art Dog's party?
Oh, shit. I forgot about that. At his g-ma's, right?
Yes, ma'am. Day drinking like a motherfucker!
Aaah! Eh, eh!
No, we don't have time for that.
And we have to see Roderick sober.
We don't have to get fucked up.
We can hang for a minute and say hey.
Yeah. Hey!
Hey!
We have to wash our dresses. We can't.
Just wash 'em at Art Dog's place.
- He don't give a fuck. - Dude, yes.
Or we could just go to the Laundromat.
Maybe you'll see that guy that stole your underwear.
You can ask for them back.
Or maybe you can borrow a pair of his.
Oh, that's an option.
- Okay. - That's my girl!
Hey, that's what I'm talkin' about.
♪ Yeah, I got bougie bitches in the red bottoms
♪ They got they own money Put that Gucci on 'em
♪ She don't need a man She just want the dick
♪ Let her work mine She be doin' booty tricks
♪ Hunned hos in the lobby
♪ Hunned G's in the account
♪ Hunned labels on the phone Talkin' money turn me on
♪ Hello?
♪ What's that you said? What's that you said?
- ♪ Cut the advance? - ♪ Ay
♪ Cut the advance, bring me the bread
♪ I know that you wanna have it all, have it all
♪ But you can't have it all 'cause I already got it
♪ Ah, gotta get a new bank account
♪ 'Cause this one full, get another one started
♪ Blogs and Instagram and the Snap and the Twit
♪ Yeah, I was already poppin' And yo bitch?
♪ Hop in the whip and she strip off the rip
- ♪ Rari so slow on the pull up - ♪ Pull up
♪ Got the lane open, fulla commas
♪ Bling blow flash Got that ice cuff
♪ Bag fulla bands Yeah, I need a handcuff
♪ I need it, I need it
-♪ Rari so slow on the pull up -♪ Pull up ♪
Yo, something kinda like this. Yo, check it out.
Go...
What y'all think?
I mean, it's, like, a little advanced,
but I can teach y'all an easier version
if you wanna learn.
Advanced? What?
Dude, ain't no way in hell
I'm dancing on no corner for tips.
- That's a dumb-as-fuck idea. - You think that shit was easy?
I mean, it was basic.
I've been taking hip-hop classes
since I was six years old,
so I'd hardly call that shit "basic."
How many years dance experience you got?
What? All my life.
- All his life, bro. - You took classes?
I don't need no bullshit classes, son.
This dude is full of shit, D.
Oh, you think so?
Yeah, unless you show me now.
- Do I? Do you mind if I... - Show that dude. Show him.
Okay, hold on. Let's get this.
Uh-huh. You wanna see somethin'?
Think about-- See, you don't even know...
- But... - Don't worry about it.
Man, that looks...
Look at that. You see how I get it right there?
- I don't need to. I feel it. - That's right.
Get it right there.
No, no, you see, you gotta get...
Yeah, get lower. Get in the dirt.
Oh, you wanna do it like that?
Impregnate the ground.
Dumbass!
That's why you do not need to dance.
Can't hang with all them classes you took?
Need a refund!
It seems that situations in our generation
♪ Makes people super cautious of Cupid's arrow
♪ And where it's facing
♪ They love relations, they hate relationships
♪ They love the fuckin' but hate the commitment
♪ In our minds love is just a game
♪ Too busy to settle down
♪ Too afraid to get played and I feel the same
♪ Walking around with this ice brick in my chest
♪ Ice water leaks where my blood is
♪ And I need someone here warm enough to melt it
♪ I feel the embrace
♪ But I'm not for sure that it's the real shit ♪
This is a drug party.
If we don't leave now, there's no chance
we're getting out of here sober.
- Oh, shit! - Angela, no.
But it's for later, dude. Can you relax?
There's too much temptation. I don't even trust myself.
Look, if anyone offers you anything, just say no. Okay?
We can have fun without getting fucked up.
- Come on. - All right.
Mmm.
Where's he at?
- Oh! - Yo!
Oh, damn! What's up?
- What's up, girl? - What's up?
Good. Good seeing you two. What y'all been up to?
Not much. But hey, this is a weird question,
but could we use your washing machine?
What? Like, to do laundry?
Yeah, we just have to wash some stuff for work.
Oh, okay. Yeah, yeah.
You know my g-ma's casa es su casa.
- Really? - Yeah.
- Oh, thank you. Thank you. - Oh, you're welcome.
Spanish, though? Okay.
Spanish, that's the weed talkin'.
Come on.
Man, you're gonna owe me a dance after this, though.
- Oh, hell, yeah! - Oh, duh.
All right, look, there you go. It's Tweedle-Dee, Tweedle-Dum.
Oh, shit, thank you.
Just holler at me when y'all get done, all right?
- Thank you. - Oh, thank you so much.
Oh, my God, dude.
I've never been so excited to do laundry in my life.
♪ Buzz me in, yo, I got the gin and the hydro
♪ So much herb on me I could start a cooking show
♪ So much liquor with me thinkin' I could float a boat
♪ Ready, here we go
♪ I'ma ignite tonight, money tell the truth
♪ So you already know ya boy keep it lit, though
♪ Smoke like there's no tomorrow, yeah
♪ Smoke like my time is borrowed
♪ Uh, double that cup gettin' double fucked up
♪ Holla at you and your friend, I'ma double my luck
♪ Sorry, Uber driver, can't sit in the front, nah
♪ Post in the back, cutie in my lap
♪ I make my own fortune, mix my own potion
♪ If I throw a Benny, that's a drop in the ocean
♪ Tryna make some money, lay a bet on me
♪ Win it all, Rolies for the whole set on me, ay
♪ Show me that green I'ma twist it
♪ Pass me that bottle I'ma twist it
♪ Me and the homies gettin' twisted
♪ Gettin' twisted, gettin' twisted
♪ Show me that green I'ma twist it
♪ Pass me that bottle I'ma twist it
♪ The whole damn room gettin' twisted
♪ Gettin' twisted, gettin' twisted ♪
Are they done yet?
Nope, not yet.
- Dude, I am so hungry. - Me, too.
- Anything good? - Just, like, old people shit.
What is this? Chocolate biscuit, sugar free.
Ooh!
Oh, hell, yes!
What?
Yes!
Mmm.
That's so good.
What y'all doin'?
Oh, shit. Y'all done found my secret stash.
- Yeah, we were starving. - Is that okay?
Yeah, that's cool, but I would only just eat one.
What?
Yeah, man, that weed butter will fuck you up.
This sucks.
Nothing's coming up. I can't do it.
No, me neither.
- Fuck, this sucks. - This sucks.
Boo!
- Damn it, Paul! - I got you bitches!
Hey!
Here.
God, these are soaked in beer.
Paul is such a dick.
Hey, you feel anything yet?
No, you?
Nothing.
Dude, Crystal.
She's such a bitch.
I bet you she's just like...
a really unhappy person on the inside.
Which...
if you think about, it's...
actually kinda sad.
Yeah, it is.
Thank God we're not sad on the inside.
No.
I'm wonderful on the inside.
Me, too.
- Yeah. - Yeah.
Is this seriously how you're coming
to ask for your jobs back?
Oh, my God, are they wet? Is that beer?
What the fuck are you doing in your lives
that you're too busy to dry your uniforms?
Not working, that's for sure.
Hello?
Anybody home?
Oh, my God.
You're high as fuck.
Goddamn, it feels good to be right.
Okay. You two stay right here, and I'ma go get Roderick.
Oh, shit, she knows.
Dude, how did she know?
I don't know. You know what's weird about that?
Huh?
I always think that people know I'm high when I'm high.
But usually, they actually don't.
But this time, she actually did.
Whoa.
That's crazy.
Huh.
Oh, pancakes.
♪ I could hardly believe it
♪ When I heard the news today
♪ I had to come and get it straight from you
♪ They said you were leavin'
♪ Someone's swept your heart away
♪ From the look upon your face I see it's true
♪ So tell me all about it
♪ Tell me about the plans you're makin'
♪ Oh
♪ Tell me one thing more before I go, tell me... ♪
Roderick said he'll meet you in his office.
And don't worry, I didn't tell him you were stoned.
I thought it'd be a fun surprise.
Bye.
♪ How am I supposed to live without you?
Y'all feelin' okay?
♪ Now that I've been lovin' you so long ♪
That beach.
I just wanna be there so bad.
What is the deal with screensavers like that
in a depressing place like this?
Huh.
It just makes me wanna be here so much less.
What they should have...
is pictures of really sad places.
Yeah. Like...
pictures of the dentist, coming at you with a drill.
Yes.
- Or Walmart. - Yeah.
No.
K-Mart.
Yes.
I wonder what Roderick's gonna say.
Me, too.
I wonder if he believed our excuse.
No.
I did not believe you two were kidnapped.
Or for that matter, any of the stories you come up with.
Man, you know I'm disappointed?
You two were on such a good streak.
Showing up to work on time, working hard,
doing drugs after you leave.
Just so you know...
I really was gonna give you your jobs back today.
- Wait, really? - Yes.
- So, we're hired back? - No! No, you're fired.
Comin' here looking like
the goddamn Wreck of the Hesperus,
and as high as a kite.
And even if I wanted to hire you back,
you couldn't work like this.
If somebody from corporate came in here and saw you,
hell, I'd get fired.
The wreck of the what?
I don't know.
But I think he knows we're high, too.
I can hear you.
I'm literally two feet away.
You know, you two are really something.
And I'm gonna miss having you around here.
You're bright, funny, entertaining as hell,
and one of the only things about this place I don't hate.
As shitty as my job is, and it is shitty...
I don't have the luxury to lose it.
So, take this as a favor from me to you.
You don't wanna end up like me.
Go do something with your lives.
And start by taking a shower.
♪ He says to me, "Loneliness is universal"
♪ "So be happy when you cry"
♪ And yet I crave to be alone
♪ Still I can't be sure ♪
Ladies.
Ladies!
Y'all can't be sleepin' on here.
You need to get up off my bus.
Where are we?
The transit station. Now, come on.
You been on here nearly four hours,
takin' up this seat.
- Okay. Yeah, okay. - Let's go.
Jesus.
Is this my face?
Did I look like this earlier?
I don't know.
I barely remember us getting fired.
Wait.
That was real, right?
Yeah. I think so.
Ooh, unless we're having, like,
some kind of a dual hallucination,
which would be really cool.
Dude, if we ever dual hallucinate,
I hope it includes, like,
unicorns or some shit, not us getting fired.
My God.
We really got fired.
Yeah.
Dude, are you gonna use the bathroom?
No, I can't go yet.
Dude, you should eat something.
We should hit up Brandon for some sammies,
figure this shit out.
Shit. We're gonna have to tell him about this.
Yeah, man. But who knows, maybe he can help us somehow.
Like borrow some money from the register for a while,
or, like, ask his boss for an advance or something.
Hey, um, I'm tryin' to get down
to Centerville and 31st.
You think I could get a dollar or something?
Can you help me out? I appreciate you guys.
They, uh, tell you about the oceans in school?
No.
They're goin' away. All of 'em.
Shit.
- Good luck. - Yeah, you, too, man.
Damn, I would pay more than a dollar for that shit.
That's it.
What, you wanna gangbang the homeless dude?
I don't really see how that helps the situation,
- but I'm down. - What? Dude, no. Okay.
We go to Brandon's work, right?
We ask him to give us the register money.
He calls the cops, says that he got robbed,
and the three of us split the cash.
- Jessie. - Yeah.
Oh, my God. Dude.
I'm so proud of you, but that is never gonna work
'cause Brandon's just not gonna do that.
Well, we can offer him something in return.
Like a threesome, but we don't actually have to do it,
because he's gonna be just as guilty as us.
It is what he wants most in life.
Yeah.
Is that mean, though? Like, raising his hopes up
and then just, you know, knocking them down like that?
No, not at all, because technically,
we're helping him not get evicted.
Do you see what I'm saying?
He's gonna forgive us.
Yeah.
I love you right now!
Yes, let's go!
Oh, boy.
- God. You scared me. - Here.
Here's the one that looks like a roadkill.
Ooh, that meatball sub looks good as fuck.
Yo, and that fool's about to eat two of 'em!
No, man.
He gets, like, two bites and then he goes on the chase.
You never seen Point Breakbefore, man?
Yo, what are you doin'?
What's it fuckin' look like, Dustin?
Oh, man, come on. Again?
Always losin' that goddamn phone, bro.
Hey, yo, you should hit up your roommate.
See if he can get us some of them sandwiches.
Oh, no. We already went today. He ain't gonna do that twice.
Man, I'd roll up in there, and I'll be all like,
"Bitch, you better make me two meatball subs,
or I'll fuck your shit up!"
Be like, "Gimme all the money, too, bitch!"
Hey, your punk-ass ain't gonna do shit.
Look at you.
Whoa, hold up. Wait a minute.
- That ain't a bad idea. - Yeah.
For real. Yo, check it out.
We rob Brandon's sandwich shop.
There's our money!
- Dude. - Man, y'all crazy.
I am not robbin' a sandwich shop.
Yo, I'll do it. Yo, I even know a guy, he's got a gun.
Man, we don't need a gun. Dude, it's Brandon.
We'll just go in there with masks and shit, yelling,
that dude'll be so scared,
he'll just give us the money, man.
Oh, man, so you don't think he gonna recognize your voice?
Oh, shit, that's a good point.
Yo, what about a note?
Yo, we'll just write that shit
and then we'll pass that shit to him.
Hell, yeah! Oh, a mask. We need masks.
All right. What are you thinking?
Target and Party City...
- That shit's expensive, dude. - Pantyhose. Your sister, man.
Pantyhose!
Dude, this is gonna be so fuckin' easy.
Are you in on this?
Come on, dude. Come on, I need you.
All right. All right.
I'm not in, though, but I will help.
'Cause clearly, just listening to y'all,
you need some guidance.
Guidance? What, from you?
- 'Cause you're so experienced? - Got way more than you!
I took this fool's TV! You forgot about that?
Yeah.
Which I am terribly sorry about.
- Trust. - Trust.
Oh, but let's go, baby!
Well, well, well, well. Look at this.
Y'all comin' for the foot-long?
Hey, I could make you a sandwich, too. Zing!
- Uh, your boss isn't here? - No.
I'm running the ship solo, baby.
- As per usual. - Wow.
I'm practically assistant manager up in here.
Cool. That's cool.
Yeah, that's, like, super cool.
What y'all been up to today? Just a little bit of, um...
"Please let me with you."
Uh, yeah.
Um...
That's what we were doing.
We were doing that exact thing.
- All day. - Oh, damn. Thought so.
- Y'all two are crazy. - We're crazy.
Well, speaking of that, um...
We actually have a question we wanted to ask you.
Wait, let me guess.
Y'all decided you're finally ready to, uh,
take a ride on the Branana?
The what?
You know. This fuckin'...
Monster boy who's about to get unleashed.
Well, yeah. Um... now that you mention it, yes.
Yes, maybe we do.
Maybe do...
What?
You know, wanna ride the...
Oh, um... your Branana.
- Really? - Yeah. Mmm-hmm.
We do. But we do need this
very, very tiny favor from you.
- So tiny. - So tiny.
♪ Yeah!
♪ Live in the buildin'!
♪ TeamFromNowhere, they know who we are
♪ Finally confident, ow!
♪ I get it bumpin' like a pregnant woman's stomach
♪ Work a beat out like some crunches
♪ Somethin' funky's what I'm comin' with
♪ Yeah, I be on my shit n' critics be all on my dick
♪ N' now I be on nuthin'
♪ I just be on beat and goin' in
♪ Focusing, hocus-pocusing, tryna git up out the 'hood ♪
Damn. Y'all a'ight?
No, I'm fuckin' scared, bro.
Yeah, me, too.
Take a couple deep breaths.
Yeah.
Man, you're pretty good at this.
Nah, man.
We pretty good at this, us. We a squad.
For real?
Damn, let's go!
- Bullshit. - What?
I don't believe you.
Y'all are saying if I give you the register money...
We'll ride your Branana.
Okay, y'all know that's my dick?
- Yes! - Yes! Yes, we know, okay?
- Are you gonna do it or not? - I mean, I would, but...
methinks y'all are full of shit.
Okay. Well, um, how about,
we show you our boobs now as a teaser,
just to show you that we're not fucking around.
I wanna touch 'em.
Okay. You can cup one boob, over the shirt, no squeezing.
One boob each, or one boob total?
One each. But that's it until after we get the money.
I wanna see y'all make-out, too.
- No! - No! Dude!
You do it all the time in your room.
I hear you!
Okay, um...
Well...
Well, if you, um...
do this very, very tiny favor for us, then,
all that stuff that you hear...
you can join in.
Okay. I mean, yeah...
that's tight. Yeah.
Yeah? Oh, cool.
Yeah, I could maybe make some arrangements.
Stay there.
I'm staying. I ain't movin'.
- I didn't know we were... - No, shh.
Holy shit! Oh, my God! Oh, shit!
There's a robbery! This is a fucking robbery!
God, I do not wanna die! Please do not shoot me!
- Robbery? - Oh, shit! Shit!
Oh, my God!
Yes. Yes, sir. Yes, sir.
Bring it down, bring it down. Yes, sir. Yes, sir.
Uh... Phone, yes! Yes.
It's an old-ass phone. I mean, I don't even know if it's...
Yes, you, you got it. Sorry.
You got what you came for. Please.
The money! Shit, obviously.
I've never fucking done this shit. It's crazy.
The fucking register! Of course!
I was, like, are you robbing' me?
I didn't even know!
Movin' along, movin' along! I got you.
This is real right here! Um...
Uh, do you have a bag?
Do you have, like, a robber's bag
to put the cash into?
Just put it in foil or a doggie bag, butthole!
- Yes, sir! Oh, shit! Okay. - Dustin?
- Which one? - Foil, man!
What the fuck? Dustin? Ryan?
Dustin, you dumb-ass, it's obviously you!
Take that shit off your head!
That's clearly your fucking finger,
so you can put that shit down!
Ryan, quit it, dude! We can tell it's you,
obviously, with these stupid fucking masks!
Is this shit mine? You son of a bitch!
What the fuck?
- What the fuck? - Sorry, dude.
Sorry?
Y'all just tried to rob me! That is not cool!
Hey, you're lucky we didn't call the cops on you dumbasses!
So this was your plan for rent, huh?
Rob a goddamn store?
- Rent? - What if someone had seen you?
You realize you could've been shot!
Man, that wouldn't have happened.
Really? 'Cause it already happened
one fucking time this week!
That was different, yo! I was trying to start a business.
You were trying to be a drug dealer!
99 percent of drug dealing is getting robbed at gunpoint.
Have you never seen Goodfellas?
- Blow. - Scarface.
- Even Boogie Nights. - What?
- The end. - Oh, yeah, yeah,
the end with the crazy dude and the firecrackers.
Drug dealing is not a business, Dustin.
It's idiotic and it clearly never turns out well for you.
Hey, y'all doin' all right in here?
It look like things didn't go as planned.
Uh, yeah, we gonna go ahead and get outta here
and, um, no hard feelings, right? Yeah?
All right, cool.
Y'all have a good night. Be safe, it's dangerous and...
Look...
Brandon, I am so sorry, like...
Yeah.
I know he's my brother, but we had nothing to do with this.
What was that about rent? Does he not have it?
Actually, um...
- None of us do. - What? I'm your roommate!
Why wouldn't you tell me that?
Yeah, that's what we were trying to do
with the register money.
Which is still a good idea, by the way.
You said you needed bikinis, not rent money.
There's not enough in there to cover it.
- How much is there? - I don't know, like $50.
I did the safe drop
Before you guys got in here.
Dude, what kind of broke-ass bikinis
did you think we were gonna buy?
- Wait, safe? What safe? - I don't know!
The safe down there. I don't have a key.
Okay, well then, we can just
take the whole thing and bust it open later.
It's bolted down!
None of this is gonna happen, okay?
- Nothing's gonna work. - Damn it, dude!
- What are you gonna do? - I don't know. I guess,
- find a new place to live. - Shit!
Can we at least have a fucking sandwich? I'm hungry.
- Show me your titties. - Brandon!
Fuck you.
You can make a sandwich, just don't make a mess.
- I just cleaned up over there. - Titties, my ass!
Come on.
Eat up.
Might be a while before we can afford food again.
Hey, Brandon, I think someone's coming.
Oh, shit! Shit! Go, go hide!
You gotta hide, that's my boss!
- Now, go on, go! Go, go! - Dude, what the fuck?
What are you still doing here?
- Oh! - Oh, my God! Dude.
- What? - Look.
Get your horny little ass outta here. I'll shut it down.
Holy shit!
That motherfucker.
That shithead is Brandon's boss.
Yo, poor Brandon.
I don't mind staying and closing,
if it's okay with you, sir.
As a matter of fact, it's not okay with me.
I need to get some work done, and I prefer to do it alone.
Okay. I'll just finish with the floors then.
The floors look good. You can go.
- But I... - I said go.
Uh...
Yes, sir.
You can put the broom away first, Brandon.
Of course.
The broom that goes in the closet.
The broom closet.
Dude.
- I almost had a heart attack. - Shut up.
- See ya, sir. - Bye. Good-bye.
Enough chatting. Good-bye.
He just locked the door.
- We're trapped in here. - Dude, relax.
Here.
What are you doing?
You're so stupid.
Dude, what time does Brandon's shift start?
Oh, my God, we're so fucked.
How long is he gonna be here? What the fuck is he doing?
Dude, go check.
Oh, my God!
- Oh, my fucking God! Dude! - What?
Look at that shit! And he called us whores!
Oh, my God!
Yo!
I always said
it was the judgy ones that end up being the perverts.
- Didn't I? - Yeah.
That is so fucked up. Did you see that shit?
I can't.
Are you okay? What?
No, it's just a cramp. I'm fine.
- Are you sure? - Yep.
Oh, my God.
Dude!
- I'm fine, okay? It's fine. - No, dude, you're not fine.
It's happening? Dude, is it happening?
No!
Oh, God, maybe! I don't know!
Dude, it is! The sandwiches, dude! It was the sandwiches!
Oh, God, it was the sandwiches!
It's coming! It's coming right now!
No, dude, run to the bathroom.
You'll make it if you run, dude.
I'm not gonna make it. I have to just let it flow.
- No! No! - I have to just let it flow.
I will not let you be someone who shits your pants
in a broom closet okay? Unbutton your pants.
- No! Are you crazy? - Do it!
- No, no, no! - You have to. You have to.
Go, go, go!
♪ I'm standing on the edge of time
♪ I've walked away when love was mine
♪ Caught up in a world of uphill climbin'
♪ The tears are in my mind
♪ Nothing is rhyming Oh, Mandy...
Oh, God, it won't stop coming out.
- I'm gonna throw up. - Close that door!
- I can't! - It's gonna smell up
the whole fucking place! Close that door right now!
♪ And you kissed me and stopped me from shaking
♪ And I need you today Oh, Mandy
♪ You came and you gave without taking
What's going on here? Hey, who's in there?
♪ Oh, Mandy
♪ You kissed me and stopped me from shaking
♪ And I need you... ♪
Oh, my God, dude.
I killed him. Dude, I puked him to death.
Uh...
No, he's okay. He's just knocked out.
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God. Okay, shit,
we gotta get out of here, like, now.
We need to go.
- Fuck! The keys! - Keys! Keys!
- Shit! - I got 'em.
Body!
Yo!
Dude.
I have a feeling these aren't his wife's titties.
Nope.
How illegal is blackmail?
Like medium, I think?
Okay, so I... think when we get outta here, we should...
leave town for a little while just to be safe.
Yeah.
Like...
- tonight? Yeah. - Yeah. Just to be safe.
What do you think?
Oh, I think, um...
I think the sooner, the better.
Come on!
This one.
Gimme the bag.
Okay. Here.
This one.
Okay, close, close.
♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh Ooh, ooh, ooh
♪ When the lights go down
♪ And you pull me close
♪ You make me
♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh Ooh, ooh, ooh
♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh
♪ When the lights go down
♪ My world explodes
♪ Pull me on, pull me on
♪ Got my heart between your fingers
♪ I'm holding on, holding on
♪ 'Cause it's hard watching you leave hurts
♪ And in this moment
♪ We're all together
♪ Throwing caution to the wind
♪ And then the lights begin to glow
♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh Ooh, ooh, ooh
♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh
♪ When the lights go down
♪ And you pull me close
♪ You make me...
Oh, my God, dude!
I've never seen this much money in my whole life.
Me neither.
♪ My world explodes ♪
Mmm, I think we have enough money
to cover all of rent this month.
Yeah, I think so.
More than enough.
Dustin's gonna freak when he wakes up
and realizes we're gone.
That's true. He is, but...
He'll settle down when he sees all the money.
I think I'll leave him a note or something,
tell him where we're going.
Oh, my God.
Where are we going?
Anywhere we want.
What about Florida?
Or no, let's go to California.
- Oh, my God, yes. - Yeah?
I've always wanted to go to California.
Like, see all the mountains and the surfers.
- Venice Beach. - Oh!
Venice Beach sounds so cool.
Mmm.
I won't wanna come back.
We can get a room to rent.
We have so much money,
no one's gonna care we're underage.
We could get, like,
a job at one of those cute little shops by the beach.
Mmm-hmm.
- I'm gonna buy a surfboard... - Mmm.
And a bikini, day one.
Yes.
And I don't know, we could go out to eat
at, like, a really nice restaurant.
Mmm-hmm.
Like, something overlooking the water.
Yeah. Oh.
And we could, like, spend the night on the beach,
looking at the stars...
listening to the waves.
- And dolphins. - Mmm.
Ange, we're gonna see real dolphins.
We're not just gonna see dolphins,
we're gonna swim with them in the ocean every day.
We'll pretty much be dolphins.
I'm so excited.
Mmm.
Dolphies, dude.
Dolphies.
♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh Ooh, ooh, ooh
♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh
♪ When the lights go down
♪ And you pull me close
♪ You make me
♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh Ooh, ooh, ooh
♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh
♪ When the lights go down
♪ My world explodes
♪ Pull me on, pull me on
♪ Got my heart between your fingers
♪ I'm holding on, holding on 'cause it's hard
♪ Watching you leave hurts
♪ And in this moment
♪ We're all together
♪ Throwing caution to the wind
♪ And then the lights begin to glow
♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh Ooh, ooh, ooh
♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh
♪ When the lights go down
♪ And you pull me close
♪ You make me
♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh Ooh, ooh, ooh
♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh
♪ When the lights go down
♪ My world explodes
♪ Carry on the words I say
♪ With the weight of ending days
♪ Watch them pushing you away, away, away
♪ And through all of my mistakes
♪ And the plans in which we made
♪ I'll remember anyway
♪ You're like the trees, though, aren't you?
♪ You let the breeze blow through you
♪ You're like the trees, though, aren't you?
♪ You let the breeze blow through you
♪ You're like the trees, though, aren't you?
♪ You let the breeze blow through you
♪ You're like the trees, though, aren't you?
♪ You let the breeze blow through you
♪ You're like the trees, though, aren't you?
♪ You let the breeze blow through you
♪ You're like the trees, though, aren't you?
♪ You let the breeze blow through you
♪ I'll remember anyway ♪
♪ I got a reputation to uphold
♪ I can't hold it back, can only let it go
♪ Pick, pick, pick
♪ Pick it up, pick it up
♪ You know that it's not necessary
♪ Keep it down, keep it down now
♪ They hate our voices when they carry
♪ You've got a reputation to uphold
♪ What's the closest emotion?
♪ I want to explode
♪ Pick it up, pick it up, yeah
♪ I want to explode
♪ Pick it up, pick it up, yeah
♪ I want to explode
♪ Pick it up, pick it up, yeah
♪ I want to explode
♪ Oh!
♪ Just right quick while I'm changing direction
♪ Lemme settle down, lemme ask you a question
♪ Girl, how you feel? Don't lie
♪ Can I keep it real? Don't lie
♪ Gonna speak my peace before I lose control
♪ Got a reputation to uphold
♪ I thought that you should know I thought that you should know
♪ They say you've got a reputation to uphold
♪ What's the closest emotion?
♪ I want to explode
♪ Pick it up, pick it up, yeah
♪ I want to explode
♪ Pick it up, pick it up, yeah
♪ I want to explode
♪ Pick it up, pick it up, yeah
♪ I want to explode
♪ Oh! ♪