♪ Who's gonna help when the danger overwhelms ♪
♪ And the mysteries are piled high? ♪
♪ Who's gonna be around, never gonna let you down ♪
♪ When you're on a wild ride? ♪
♪ Your friends are always by your side ♪
♪ It's Craig of the Creek, he's gonna save the day ♪
♪ It's Craig of the Creek ♪
JP: All right. Y'all ready?
[ Inhales deeply ]
Oh! Oh! Memory!
Oh, all -- all three of us.
Ooh, that time we had a monster-themed dance party.
Oh, the time we accidentally buried you alive!
Ooh, I got it!
That time we tied strings to your arms
and made you a puppet.
Whew.
Ah, thank biscuits you guessed it.
I -- I was about to pass out.
JP, you don't need to hold your breath
when we play charades.
Uh, the rules say no sound,
and I'm committed to a fair, clean game.
The stage is yours, Craig.
-Oh. Memory. Memory! -Memory. Memory.
[ Craig's stomach gurgles, rumbles ]
Um...uh...
Oh, the time we pretended to be statues
so those crows wouldn't spot us?
Oh, that time we were statues?
I have to go home. Hey!
Talking's against the rules, you dirty cheater!
This isn't part of the game.
I have to go home now.
What? Why?
I just...[Exhales sharply] I have to go.
Oh. You have to go.
Okay, so just go outside.
I -- I can't.
Oh.
Why not, Craig?
I think it's 'cause Craig has to...
Stop! Just don't say it, please.
JP, the bathroom in your house
is 13 backyards closer than mine.
What -- How -- How do -- How do you know that?
I have an emergency bathroom plan
like every kid should! [ Gurgling, rumbling continues ]
Ah...it's happening! -Okay. Okay. I'm on it.
I'll get you there, little buddy.
Just breathe and clench, breathe and clench.
Kelsey, you comin'?
To watch Craig take a --
Don't say it!
Hmm.
Nah, I'll just stay here.
I'm fine hanging out by myself.
[ Mortimer squawks ]
Uh, by myself with Mortimer, that is.
All right. We'll miss you.
Go, go, go!
We'll keep you in our hearts, Kelsey.
[ Grunting ]
All right. Little steps, Craig,
don't spread unless you have to.
Ahhh.
[ Birds chirping ]
[ Farts ]
[ Echoing ]
Oh, come on. It's not that bad.
Kelsey: Awesome. Finally, I have time
to finish "Robyn and the Snow Sword!"
"Robyn fell down to the ground,
clutching the wound on her arm.
Blood spewed forth like a stream of blood.
The Orc King laughed" --
No, chuckled.
No, laughed.
"Looks like you..."
Hmm...
Looks like you've been abandoned once again.
Hey, that's good.
Robyn smirked.
Oh, I'm not alone,
for I have my sword,
my titular snow sword!
Ha! You don't stand a chance.
Only the sword foretold in the prophecy can defeat me,
and that sword was destroyed in the fires of Magmaria.
[ Laughs evilly ]
Ah, but you've forgotten
that I, Robyn with a "Y", age seven,
born with the mastery of martial weapons
and raised by my uncle the Wolf Prince,
has slayed the hordes of demon horses...
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. ...made my way through
your ministry of secrets...
Naturally.
...discovered your prophecy orb...
MM-hmm. Mm-hmm. ...and shattered it.
What? It can't be!
That's right. My snow sword
is the prophesied sword of which you speak,
and against all earthly logic,
Magma only makes it stronger.
Ah! Robyn the Brave, you have sealed your fate!
Today is the day I will introduce you
to your untimely end!
En garde!
Ah!
Yah! Yah! Yah!
[ Grunting ]
Whoo! Ah.
Oh.
Man, I love writing.
Oh, rats. Uh, it's locked.
What? Chill out, buddy.
Don't worry.
I keep a spare key under one of these six rocks.
Just give me like a minute.
[ Breathing heavily ] Nope.
Not there. Not under that one, either.
[ Grunts ]
So, it looks like the key is officially missing.
What do we do? I was hoping
it wouldn't have to come to this,
but we're going to have to go through the side door.
I always leave it unlocked just in case.
Are you serious?!
[ Both scream ]
[ Gurgling, rumbling continues ] All right.
Hang in there, little buddy.
Daddy's gonna handle it.
Oh, gosh! It moved!
Muh! I'll get it off.
I ain't afraid of no spiders.
Spider! Ah!
Huh?
[ Both screaming ]
[ Screaming continues ]
Shing.
Ow! Ah. Plenty sharp.
Whip!
[ Chattering ] Hmm?
Ha! Ha!
[ Chuckles ]
[ Grunting ]
♪♪
[ Continues grunting ]
[ Laughing ]
Whoo!
♪♪
[ Continues laughing ]
♪♪
[ Continues laughing ]
Ahhh.
It's a beautiful day, Mom.
You hungry, bud?
Ugh, I can't believe I left my keys at the stump.
Oh, the grumbles are getting closer together.
-Hello? -[ Gasps ] Oh, my gosh.
Jessica, let me in. Bernard is studying,
and he told me not to answer the door
because of strangers.
I'm not a stranger. I'm your brother!
I don't know that! You could be wearing a mask.
Or you could be a ghost.
Or the scary guy from the mattress commercial.
I have to check your credentials.
[ Growls ]
Just tell her what you need to do.
No. We are a family.
We do not talk about that kind of stuff.
I'm waiting, stranger!
[ Snorts ] Um, okay.
Y-Your birthday is May 3rd.
Um, you -- you love your small uncle doll.
Uh, you -- you can't blow your nose on your own.
You -- you can't drink juice before bed, or else you'll...
Hey! Stop telling my dirty business
in front of your friend. I'll open the door.
[ Door handle wiggling ] Which way does it...
Do -- Do I turn it left or right?
Okay. Which way is right?
It's not turning. [ Groaning ]
Oh, that's the handle.
I don't have time for this!
Just tell me what to do, Craig! I'll do it.
There's one more place I can go, but it's weird.
Ugh. Let's move.
[ Doorknob continues wiggling ]
Got it.
He was a ghost!
Ah...
birdseed aplenty.
Ugh, but there's a squirrel shield --
AKA a girl shield.
Ugh, we're going to have to be delicate with this one.
[ Mortimer chirps ]
Huh? Ah!
[ Grunting, whimpering ]
♪♪
Whew.
All right, if we pull this off right,
no one will even know we were here.
This is a raid! Go, go, go!
Grab as much as you can!
Man: Oh, no. Did you hear that, Gerald?
I think that squirrel is back.
Ah!
Um, good afternoon, boys.
Kelsey's not home...
because she's at the creek...with you.
You got to tell him, Craig.
Oh, my gosh.
What happened to my daughter? What happened to Kelsey?
Uh, you might not want to shake him like that, Mr. Pokoly.
I -- I -- I...
Spit it out, Craig!
I -- I... You're not in trouble!
Just tell me what happened to Kelsey!
I have to poop!
[ Farts ]
You mean you just -- Do you have any idea
the thoughts that were...
Just use the downstairs bathroom.
Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
[ Door opens, closes ] It's not an emergency,
but I could also totally use the bathroom
if that's cool. Bushes.
Kelsey: And with her last ounce
of strength,
she pulled her sword from a pile of Orc ashes
and turned to journey home
to her wolf friends
and the warm hug waiting for her,
but as she walked into the elven sunset,
something stirred behind her.
Though Robyn was keen of sight,
she did not see the Orc hand awakening in the ashes,
twitching, grasping for vengeance.
End of book one.
Ah, finished.
[ Smacking lips ]
JP: Wow, Craig, I don't know if
it's this light that you're in
or that huge poop you just took,
but you are glowing, buddy.
Guys! Guys, you're back!
So, Craig, how do you feel?
Amazing. Like a new boy.
Also, your dad says hi,
and he treasures every day with you?
Huh?
So, what did you do while I was --
while I was pooping?
Oh, let's see if you can guess.
Oh, you tried on a bunch of different hats
and pretended to be a hat model?
Oh, wait. Did you -- Did you go swimming in the creek
and get a leech on your foot?
Oh, I know!
Uh, you took some time to do some personal writing.
Then you went outside to sharpen your sword.
Wow, JP, you -- you got it.
But then you got distracted by a squirrel...
Uh-huh.
...and chased the leaves it was dropping
from the trees... I did that, too.
...and ended up at the meadow...
I don't understand how you know all this.
...and ran through the grass...
Yeah.
...and tumbled down a hill...
Yep.
...and embraced the serenity of nature.
I mean, that's pretty much exact.
Then you went to steal some seeds
from that one guy's backyard,
but you nearly got sprayed by his sprinkler.
-Whoa. -And you narrowly escaped.
You're blowing my mind, buddy.
♪ When it's time to go to bed ♪
♪ I know I don't have to feel alone ♪
♪ 'Cause I'll see you tomorrow ♪
♪ At the creek ♪
Just like I drew it.
♪♪