1 00:00:13,471 --> 00:00:14,931 -[boy grunts] -[phone dings] 2 00:00:15,098 --> 00:00:16,928 Hold all my calls. 3 00:00:17,183 --> 00:00:19,353 -[giggling] -[lullaby plays] 4 00:00:19,894 --> 00:00:21,484 ♪ Boss Baby ♪ 5 00:00:21,563 --> 00:00:25,443 ♪ I'm the Boss, Boss Baby, boss, boss Boss Baby, boss, boss ♪ 6 00:00:25,525 --> 00:00:28,065 ♪ Watch a itty-bitty kid get large ♪ 7 00:00:28,153 --> 00:00:30,703 ♪ I'm the big Boss Baby in charge ♪ 8 00:00:30,780 --> 00:00:33,160 ♪ Stroller rolling Up and down the boulevard ♪ 9 00:00:33,533 --> 00:00:35,743 ♪ I'm the big Boss Baby in charge ♪ 10 00:00:36,202 --> 00:00:39,082 ♪ I run this house, I rule this crib ♪ 11 00:00:39,164 --> 00:00:41,624 ♪ Change my diaper, son Where's my bib? ♪ 12 00:00:41,708 --> 00:00:44,418 ♪ Don't pacify You just got to pay me ♪ 13 00:00:44,502 --> 00:00:46,962 -♪ Who's in charge? ♪ -♪ Me, the Boss Baby ♪ 14 00:00:52,302 --> 00:00:53,142 [thumps] 15 00:00:56,806 --> 00:00:57,636 [sucks] 16 00:01:03,104 --> 00:01:05,194 ...sixty-one, sixty-two, sixty-- 17 00:01:11,154 --> 00:01:11,994 [bangs] 18 00:01:12,614 --> 00:01:13,454 [squeaks] 19 00:01:22,999 --> 00:01:25,589 [Dad] Up, up, up! Almost time for school! 20 00:01:25,668 --> 00:01:27,458 [moans] 21 00:01:27,545 --> 00:01:30,255 [Boss Baby squeals, giggles] 22 00:01:31,299 --> 00:01:32,799 Mmm! Mmm, mmm, mmm! 23 00:01:32,884 --> 00:01:35,054 Now, that is some applesauce. 24 00:01:35,136 --> 00:01:36,756 You can really taste the orchard. 25 00:01:36,846 --> 00:01:39,636 -[Dad] Timbo, time to go. -But I didn't finish my breakfast! 26 00:01:39,933 --> 00:01:41,103 It's not fair. 27 00:01:41,184 --> 00:01:43,064 You get to do all the playing and mission stuff 28 00:01:43,144 --> 00:01:45,314 while I have to do junk like math and grammar. 29 00:01:45,396 --> 00:01:47,936 Why is grammar something about which I should care? 30 00:01:48,107 --> 00:01:49,147 Big picture! 31 00:01:49,234 --> 00:01:51,904 Sure, just thinking about all the ways I can boost baby love 32 00:01:51,986 --> 00:01:54,486 with this new playgroup has me on cloud nine, 33 00:01:54,572 --> 00:01:58,082 but guess what? That's one cloud closer to me back at Baby Corp 34 00:01:58,159 --> 00:02:00,199 and you back on fun missions. 35 00:02:00,286 --> 00:02:01,696 [car horn honking] 36 00:02:02,205 --> 00:02:06,575 But the only way we get that happy ending is to keep doing our respective things. 37 00:02:06,835 --> 00:02:10,415 Mine is exciting field ops with a bunch of untested but promising babies. 38 00:02:10,964 --> 00:02:15,434 And yours is to, uh, keep trucking through these school days. 39 00:02:15,802 --> 00:02:18,102 Think you can do that? Keep trucking? 40 00:02:18,596 --> 00:02:19,426 I can truck. 41 00:02:19,514 --> 00:02:21,894 Of course you can! Who's my big brother? 42 00:02:21,975 --> 00:02:23,425 -Me. -[slams] 43 00:02:23,518 --> 00:02:25,768 -Ah-hh. I'll miss that-- -[doorbell rings] 44 00:02:25,854 --> 00:02:29,234 The playgroup's here! The playgroup's here, yay! 45 00:02:30,066 --> 00:02:31,066 [Boss Baby] Thank you for coming. 46 00:02:31,151 --> 00:02:33,191 Enjoy the assortment of toys I've laid out. 47 00:02:33,278 --> 00:02:36,158 Try the clown. He talks when you pull a string on his chest. 48 00:02:36,239 --> 00:02:40,029 -[clown] Uh-oh, I sat on a pie! -[chuckles] 49 00:02:40,118 --> 00:02:41,198 How? 50 00:02:41,327 --> 00:02:43,367 On to business. My new team-- 51 00:02:43,454 --> 00:02:46,794 real-world babies who understand real baby problems. 52 00:02:47,000 --> 00:02:49,090 -[giggling] -So, hit me. What do we tackle first? 53 00:02:49,169 --> 00:02:51,499 -[squealing] -Creaky cribs? Terrible twos? 54 00:02:51,588 --> 00:02:53,838 -No bad ideas here. -Ba ba-ba...? 55 00:02:54,007 --> 00:02:56,297 You don't need my permission to go to the bathroom. 56 00:02:56,384 --> 00:02:57,974 [babbles] Bah-woo...? 57 00:02:58,052 --> 00:03:00,312 Uh, Portland is in Oregon. 58 00:03:00,430 --> 00:03:01,760 [squeals] 59 00:03:02,223 --> 00:03:03,733 [moans] 60 00:03:03,808 --> 00:03:04,978 -[giggles] -Oh-- yeah! 61 00:03:05,059 --> 00:03:08,769 What if we were really good babies and got cuddly stuffed giraffes? 62 00:03:09,022 --> 00:03:11,482 -Not helpful. -Don't knock it till you cuddle it, baby. 63 00:03:12,108 --> 00:03:13,608 -[babbles] -[music plays] 64 00:03:13,693 --> 00:03:15,823 Yes, Jarreau, you sound like the ice cream man. 65 00:03:15,904 --> 00:03:17,744 -Please focus. -[baby 2 babbles] 66 00:03:17,822 --> 00:03:19,412 -Bah-woo...? -[sighs] 67 00:03:19,490 --> 00:03:21,990 -Yes, there's also a Portland in Maine. -[baby 2 chuckles] 68 00:03:22,076 --> 00:03:24,406 -[Shover spurting] -Oh-hh! [coughs] Ugh! 69 00:03:24,495 --> 00:03:27,865 From now on, yes, you specifically need permission to go to the bathroom. 70 00:03:27,957 --> 00:03:29,747 Ugh! Somebody wanna open a window? 71 00:03:30,001 --> 00:03:32,131 -Will I get a cuddly stuffed giraffe? -Just open it! 72 00:03:32,629 --> 00:03:35,049 [clown] Uh-oh, I sat on a pie! 73 00:03:35,131 --> 00:03:37,011 [laughs] How? 74 00:03:37,091 --> 00:03:38,301 But not now, clown! 75 00:03:38,384 --> 00:03:40,804 [babies grunting] 76 00:03:41,137 --> 00:03:44,057 There are two Portlands! One in Maine and one in Oregon! 77 00:03:44,140 --> 00:03:46,100 Please, I'm trying to get baby love missions, 78 00:03:46,184 --> 00:03:48,144 and all you're giving me is useless word vomit! 79 00:03:48,228 --> 00:03:49,598 [retches] 80 00:03:50,271 --> 00:03:52,151 Not an invitation! 81 00:03:53,066 --> 00:03:54,436 Yagh! Peek-a-booed! 82 00:03:54,525 --> 00:03:57,235 Agh! [grunting] 83 00:03:58,780 --> 00:04:00,780 And now you made me lose my tie clip? 84 00:04:00,865 --> 00:04:02,115 -[growls] -[monitor chimes] 85 00:04:02,200 --> 00:04:03,030 [gasps] 86 00:04:03,868 --> 00:04:05,328 Staci, talk to me. 87 00:04:05,411 --> 00:04:07,121 How's it going with the newbies? 88 00:04:07,205 --> 00:04:10,285 -[babies wailing, grunting] -[Mega Fat] Oof! Ooh! 89 00:04:11,167 --> 00:04:13,127 Oh, fine. How are things at Baby Corp? 90 00:04:13,211 --> 00:04:15,211 You call this research and development? 91 00:04:15,296 --> 00:04:18,086 Looks more like... [squeals] and... [whines] 92 00:04:18,299 --> 00:04:20,049 Ooh! My innocence! 93 00:04:20,134 --> 00:04:21,894 Eh, pretty slow around here. 94 00:04:21,970 --> 00:04:24,640 But I've been keeping an eye on the baby love chatter like you asked, 95 00:04:24,722 --> 00:04:26,272 and I might have something. 96 00:04:26,349 --> 00:04:27,809 [Staci] Situation at the museum-- 97 00:04:27,892 --> 00:04:30,982 looks like a potty squatter's taken over the family bathroom. 98 00:04:31,062 --> 00:04:34,482 Got a line of parents and babies getting longer and fussier. 99 00:04:34,565 --> 00:04:38,275 Hasn't turned violent yet, but, you know, fingers crossed. 100 00:04:38,528 --> 00:04:39,398 It's perfect! 101 00:04:39,487 --> 00:04:41,987 Can you keep it off Scary Sweary CEO Baby's radar? 102 00:04:42,156 --> 00:04:44,656 Are puppies just stinky butts with paws? 103 00:04:44,867 --> 00:04:46,537 -Oh, I owe you one. -[monitor squeaks] 104 00:04:46,619 --> 00:04:48,659 [sniffs] Smell that, team? 105 00:04:48,746 --> 00:04:51,286 That's the scent of a bakery-fresh opportunity. 106 00:04:51,374 --> 00:04:52,964 -[Shover spurts] -Ugh! 107 00:04:53,042 --> 00:04:54,752 -I said ask permission! 108 00:04:55,336 --> 00:04:58,126 I want those [babbles] numbers up by lunchtime 109 00:04:58,214 --> 00:05:01,224 or you'll be eating your own [babbles] on a corn cob! 110 00:05:01,634 --> 00:05:04,684 Okay, Jimbo, distraction ideas-- go! 111 00:05:06,472 --> 00:05:09,142 Why are you drawing a family of ducks? 112 00:05:09,225 --> 00:05:10,635 It's my art therapy, 113 00:05:10,727 --> 00:05:13,727 for when Scary Sweary's swears sweary-scare me. 114 00:05:13,813 --> 00:05:15,733 -Hey! -Head in the game. 115 00:05:15,815 --> 00:05:17,105 Boss needs us. 116 00:05:17,191 --> 00:05:19,151 -[grunts] -Give me your duckies! 117 00:05:19,235 --> 00:05:20,895 No duckies at work, Jimbo! 118 00:05:20,987 --> 00:05:22,817 -Give me back my duckies! -Oh, yeah! Duckies! 119 00:05:22,905 --> 00:05:23,735 [both grunting] 120 00:05:24,032 --> 00:05:26,662 Who took my [wails] peas? 121 00:05:26,743 --> 00:05:28,293 I can't take it anymore! 122 00:05:28,369 --> 00:05:30,869 That baby needs to learn how to relax! 123 00:05:46,929 --> 00:05:49,889 -You just had an idea? -[giggles] 124 00:05:50,725 --> 00:05:53,015 Staple, staple, pin. 125 00:05:53,102 --> 00:05:54,902 Staple, staple-- 126 00:05:54,979 --> 00:05:57,229 Hey, Buddy from HR! 127 00:05:57,315 --> 00:05:58,895 Could you help me pick a new keychain? 128 00:05:58,983 --> 00:06:01,403 I can't decide. 129 00:06:01,486 --> 00:06:02,526 The red one's lovely. 130 00:06:02,612 --> 00:06:04,452 Wow! Check out that blue one! 131 00:06:04,530 --> 00:06:07,240 Ooh, red! But, oh! The blue. 132 00:06:07,325 --> 00:06:08,325 That red is great! 133 00:06:08,409 --> 00:06:11,329 Wow, I forgot how pretty the blue is, but there's that red again! 134 00:06:11,662 --> 00:06:15,502 -Um, Mr. Scary Sweary CEO Baby, sir? -[gargling] 135 00:06:15,583 --> 00:06:17,343 -I'm [babbles] busy! -[yelps] 136 00:06:17,960 --> 00:06:19,880 You're the employee of the month. 137 00:06:19,962 --> 00:06:21,512 Yay for you! 138 00:06:21,589 --> 00:06:23,219 -No, I'm not. -Yes, you are. 139 00:06:23,299 --> 00:06:25,429 Ask Buddy from HR. 140 00:06:26,552 --> 00:06:30,062 Great, I'm employee of the month. Whoop-dee [babbles] doo. 141 00:06:30,139 --> 00:06:33,269 [yelps] And since you're employee of the month, 142 00:06:33,351 --> 00:06:36,481 you get a relaxing spa day to help you relax more 143 00:06:36,562 --> 00:06:38,402 so you can be more relaxed. 144 00:06:38,481 --> 00:06:40,981 Also, the spa day starts right now. 145 00:06:41,067 --> 00:06:45,527 Also, also, it's, uh, mandatory? [shudders, gasps] 146 00:06:45,655 --> 00:06:48,065 How about I "mandatory" my [babbles] loafers 147 00:06:48,157 --> 00:06:50,027 in your [babbles] sideways 148 00:06:50,118 --> 00:06:54,158 until your [babbles] are on Neptune's fourth moon, Galatea? 149 00:06:54,247 --> 00:06:56,497 That's [babbles] astronomy! 150 00:06:56,582 --> 00:06:57,712 Buddy's rules, not mine. 151 00:07:00,211 --> 00:07:03,171 [sighs] I'll be in my [babbles] office. 152 00:07:03,381 --> 00:07:05,301 [screams, yelps] 153 00:07:10,429 --> 00:07:11,309 [grunts] Ulp--! 154 00:07:12,682 --> 00:07:14,142 [Boss Baby] Secure insertion point. 155 00:07:14,225 --> 00:07:16,885 We'll need one baby with eyes on that blind corner. 156 00:07:17,645 --> 00:07:18,855 [faint crying] 157 00:07:18,938 --> 00:07:20,728 Oh-hh! What is it, Mega Fat? 158 00:07:20,815 --> 00:07:24,525 I just want you to know that I'm here for you, on this journey. 159 00:07:24,610 --> 00:07:25,450 Thank you. 160 00:07:25,528 --> 00:07:29,488 -I'm also here for you on this journey. -Here we go. 161 00:07:29,657 --> 00:07:32,197 [Mega Fat] Lucky for you, I have been there and also have done that, 162 00:07:32,285 --> 00:07:35,785 -so you got you a spiritual sherpa... -Don't need a sherpa. 163 00:07:35,872 --> 00:07:37,712 ...who will do 100 percent, at your service, 164 00:07:37,790 --> 00:07:39,540 whatever it takes to complete your journey 165 00:07:39,625 --> 00:07:43,165 to the summit of "Mount Boss Baby." 166 00:07:43,504 --> 00:07:45,634 So you'll help on this museum mission? 167 00:07:45,715 --> 00:07:48,215 I can, and I will. 168 00:07:48,301 --> 00:07:50,141 [woman] Where should we go today? The park? 169 00:07:50,219 --> 00:07:52,099 Ooh, Scooter's allowed there! 170 00:07:52,305 --> 00:07:53,965 [Marsha] Mmm, a little too warm. 171 00:07:54,056 --> 00:07:57,306 If I pit out this blouse again, my wardrobe girl will kill me. 172 00:07:58,227 --> 00:08:00,097 They're already planning today's activity. 173 00:08:00,188 --> 00:08:02,768 If we're going to that museum, we have about a three-minute window 174 00:08:02,857 --> 00:08:04,277 to plant the idea. 175 00:08:04,442 --> 00:08:07,782 Which is why we must be the "gardeners of suggestion." 176 00:08:08,029 --> 00:08:10,949 There has to be someplace we can take the kiddos. 177 00:08:11,032 --> 00:08:12,492 [bangs] 178 00:08:15,912 --> 00:08:17,712 -I've got it! -[gasps] 179 00:08:17,872 --> 00:08:20,832 We could go to Chummy Farms for a baby hayride! 180 00:08:21,417 --> 00:08:24,917 [woman] Ooh, I heard a kid lost a finger in the donkey's mouth. 181 00:08:25,421 --> 00:08:26,461 [babbling] 182 00:08:33,346 --> 00:08:34,806 [gurgling] 183 00:08:34,889 --> 00:08:35,849 -He has very-- -[splatters] 184 00:08:35,932 --> 00:08:37,352 -Oh, my! Oh! -[Marsha] Ugh! 185 00:08:38,226 --> 00:08:39,136 [sniffles] 186 00:08:39,936 --> 00:08:41,686 What if we spent the day... 187 00:08:42,146 --> 00:08:43,016 [gasps] 188 00:08:43,564 --> 00:08:44,654 Never mind, lost it. 189 00:08:45,149 --> 00:08:47,189 [groans, thumps] Oh-hh! 190 00:08:48,611 --> 00:08:49,531 Do it. 191 00:08:51,155 --> 00:08:52,275 -[puffs] -Have you-- huh? 192 00:08:56,035 --> 00:08:57,785 Maybe the museum? 193 00:08:57,870 --> 00:08:59,410 -[Marsha] The museum! -[man] Oh, I'd love that! 194 00:08:59,497 --> 00:09:01,247 -[woman] Yes! -[man] I've got an annual pass! 195 00:09:03,459 --> 00:09:05,249 -Come on, I gotta go! -[parents grumbling] 196 00:09:05,336 --> 00:09:06,996 -[man] Hurry up in there! -[giggles] 197 00:09:07,171 --> 00:09:11,681 Oh, it says there's a very good movie about the history of the museum. 198 00:09:11,759 --> 00:09:12,839 Any takers? 199 00:09:12,927 --> 00:09:14,797 "Narrated by Marsha Krinkle"? 200 00:09:14,887 --> 00:09:16,717 Sounds compelling! I'm in! 201 00:09:20,851 --> 00:09:22,351 [program music playing] 202 00:09:22,853 --> 00:09:25,653 Hi, Marsha Krinkle, Channel 8 News. 203 00:09:25,856 --> 00:09:27,606 [softly] "Welcome to the town museum, 204 00:09:27,692 --> 00:09:31,492 a place with a story captivating enough to hang on its own walls." 205 00:09:31,571 --> 00:09:32,411 So good. 206 00:09:32,488 --> 00:09:35,488 [Marsha narrating] Thomas Kulkelka-- entrepreneur, collector. 207 00:09:35,575 --> 00:09:38,485 Toured every inch of this globe with a zest for life in his gut 208 00:09:38,578 --> 00:09:40,448 and a wooden kazoo in his mouth. 209 00:09:40,538 --> 00:09:42,498 -It was Kulkelka who built this museum... -[fingers snap] 210 00:09:42,582 --> 00:09:44,292 [narration continues] ...with his bare hands. 211 00:09:44,375 --> 00:09:48,125 That was the third time Thomas Kulkelka wrestled a bear. 212 00:09:48,212 --> 00:09:49,842 -The fourth was at a circus. -[Jarreau moans] 213 00:09:49,922 --> 00:09:51,422 -[thumping] -[babies wailing] 214 00:09:52,216 --> 00:09:53,216 [monitor chimes] 215 00:09:53,301 --> 00:09:55,221 -Talk to me. -Clock's ticking, boss. 216 00:09:55,386 --> 00:09:57,926 Not sure how long we can occupy Scary Sweary. 217 00:09:58,222 --> 00:10:00,562 He's not exactly the relaxing type. 218 00:10:00,641 --> 00:10:03,441 Focus on the sound of your breath. 219 00:10:03,519 --> 00:10:05,559 Then stop [babbles] talking! 220 00:10:05,771 --> 00:10:07,571 Just hang on. We're almost there. 221 00:10:07,815 --> 00:10:10,735 All right, we got a family bathroom that needs evacuating. 222 00:10:10,818 --> 00:10:13,068 -Mega Fat, you create a diversion. -Check. 223 00:10:13,154 --> 00:10:15,574 Also, check in. How are you doing? 224 00:10:15,656 --> 00:10:18,616 The rest of you, since it's your first mission, you'll be on lookout. 225 00:10:18,909 --> 00:10:20,539 [Boss Baby] We'll use these for communication. 226 00:10:21,370 --> 00:10:22,200 [slurps] 227 00:10:22,288 --> 00:10:24,828 Once Mega Fat clears the way, I'll swoop in 228 00:10:24,915 --> 00:10:29,295 and evict that bathroom bandit with the power of negotiation. 229 00:10:40,848 --> 00:10:41,848 Oh-hh! 230 00:10:41,932 --> 00:10:43,562 [Mega Fat humming] 231 00:10:49,523 --> 00:10:52,693 -[squeaks] -[baby whines] 232 00:10:52,777 --> 00:10:54,447 Let's keep it moving, folks. 233 00:10:54,528 --> 00:10:58,528 -The art's for looking, not for touching! -That's the family bathroom! 234 00:10:58,616 --> 00:11:03,326 Says here it's a piece called "The Door" by Meg O' Fat. 235 00:11:03,871 --> 00:11:04,871 [camera shutter clicks] 236 00:11:05,247 --> 00:11:07,627 Need the family bathroom? Follow the sign. 237 00:11:08,125 --> 00:11:10,035 -[man] It's okay, kids. -[parents grumbling] 238 00:11:13,130 --> 00:11:15,760 Ninety seconds of negotiation starts... 239 00:11:15,841 --> 00:11:17,761 [crackles] now. 240 00:11:18,386 --> 00:11:19,426 [thumps] 241 00:11:19,804 --> 00:11:21,644 Before we get into this song-and-dance, 242 00:11:21,722 --> 00:11:23,352 you should know who I am. 243 00:11:23,641 --> 00:11:25,681 Just call me "someone." 244 00:11:25,768 --> 00:11:27,898 Someone who doesn't give an inch, 245 00:11:27,978 --> 00:11:29,438 someone who takes no prisoners, 246 00:11:29,522 --> 00:11:33,482 someone who forced himself to like pizza topped with clams and wet lettuce 247 00:11:33,567 --> 00:11:35,317 so no one else would ever want a slice. 248 00:11:35,569 --> 00:11:38,029 Just someone on the other side of this door... 249 00:11:38,114 --> 00:11:40,874 [tapping] waiting and wondering... 250 00:11:40,950 --> 00:11:42,870 what kind of someone are you? 251 00:11:43,452 --> 00:11:44,752 [voice yells] Give me candy! 252 00:11:45,329 --> 00:11:47,669 -Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah yeah! -Fart-poop doody! 253 00:11:47,748 --> 00:11:49,168 It's a "preek"! 254 00:11:49,542 --> 00:11:50,632 [yells] Bagel! 255 00:11:50,960 --> 00:11:52,090 [babbling] 256 00:11:52,169 --> 00:11:54,589 I'm not good at standing on one foot. 257 00:11:54,672 --> 00:11:56,302 -[Boss Baby] We got a pre-kindergartner-- -[grunting] 258 00:11:56,382 --> 00:11:59,302 the most irrational, scatterbrained, never-can-be-reasoned-with species 259 00:11:59,385 --> 00:12:00,755 on the face of the earth! 260 00:12:00,845 --> 00:12:02,635 [Mega Fat] A preek? Eh, we tried. 261 00:12:02,888 --> 00:12:04,218 Time to go home and take naps. 262 00:12:04,306 --> 00:12:06,886 I like to think of failures as learning punches. 263 00:12:06,976 --> 00:12:09,016 [Mega Fat] So, in one sense, this journey-- 264 00:12:09,103 --> 00:12:11,483 New terms. I will give you anything you want-- 265 00:12:11,564 --> 00:12:13,484 toy helicopters, real helicopters, 266 00:12:13,566 --> 00:12:16,606 a group of islands in the South Pacific shaped like helicopters! 267 00:12:16,694 --> 00:12:18,114 [parents' voices overlapping] 268 00:12:18,696 --> 00:12:20,946 -[yelps] Agh! -[monitor chimes] 269 00:12:21,031 --> 00:12:23,411 Yo, boss, baby love's still dropping. 270 00:12:23,492 --> 00:12:26,702 Need me to come down and "break some anks" or "purp some nurps"? 271 00:12:26,912 --> 00:12:29,372 -Under control. -[preek] Go away, dog! I hate you! 272 00:12:29,457 --> 00:12:30,917 Who was that? 273 00:12:31,000 --> 00:12:32,790 Did you say "who"? 274 00:12:32,960 --> 00:12:35,800 "Who." I said "who." Who! Who?! 275 00:12:35,880 --> 00:12:38,050 [chuckles] You babies got an owl up there? 276 00:12:38,132 --> 00:12:40,182 Was that a "dad joke"? 277 00:12:40,259 --> 00:12:42,339 [gasps] You only tell dad jokes when you're lying! 278 00:12:42,428 --> 00:12:44,258 [stammers] I-- I am not lying. 279 00:12:44,430 --> 00:12:46,560 But if I was lying on the floor, you could call me Matt. 280 00:12:46,640 --> 00:12:48,480 -See? I told you. -All right, fine! 281 00:12:48,642 --> 00:12:50,272 It's a preek in the bathroom. 282 00:12:50,352 --> 00:12:51,272 A preek? 283 00:12:51,729 --> 00:12:53,269 You say [babbles] preek? 284 00:12:53,355 --> 00:12:54,895 Corkscrew moonsault! 285 00:12:54,982 --> 00:12:55,982 -[grunts] -Ugh! 286 00:12:56,066 --> 00:12:58,396 Oh, yeah, you got massaged! 287 00:12:58,486 --> 00:12:59,566 I'm coming down to help. 288 00:12:59,653 --> 00:13:01,033 I don't need help! 289 00:13:01,113 --> 00:13:02,913 Every team needs this moment, Stace. 290 00:13:02,990 --> 00:13:06,200 The moment when they're up against a wall and somehow find a way to overcome. 291 00:13:06,285 --> 00:13:10,075 Well, you have less than a moment to flush that stinkin' preek! 292 00:13:10,247 --> 00:13:13,707 "Flush that stinkin' preek." That's it! 293 00:13:13,792 --> 00:13:15,962 [Mega Fat] And you know what? I'm a happy baby 294 00:13:16,045 --> 00:13:17,915 because of that self-discovery. 295 00:13:18,005 --> 00:13:19,375 -Does that make sense? -Uh, sure. 296 00:13:19,465 --> 00:13:20,585 Listen up, everyone. 297 00:13:20,674 --> 00:13:22,934 We're gonna smoke the preek out with a diaper bomb. 298 00:13:23,010 --> 00:13:24,760 Who had raisins for lunch? 299 00:13:25,513 --> 00:13:27,433 Hello? Anyone? [taps] 300 00:13:27,515 --> 00:13:30,555 Also, sometimes a self-discovery is about discovering 301 00:13:30,643 --> 00:13:32,693 that everyone's abandoned the mission. 302 00:13:33,312 --> 00:13:34,442 [couple gasps] 303 00:13:34,730 --> 00:13:36,570 [whining, grunting] 304 00:13:37,691 --> 00:13:39,361 [narrating] I'm TV's Marsha Krinkle, 305 00:13:39,443 --> 00:13:43,453 and I want you to notice how the artist subtly used a dripping technique 306 00:13:43,531 --> 00:13:45,991 to symbolize the bleeding soul. 307 00:13:47,034 --> 00:13:47,914 Come on! 308 00:13:47,993 --> 00:13:50,203 [Boss Baby] There's gotta be something here I can use. 309 00:13:50,287 --> 00:13:51,537 Something...?! 310 00:13:51,872 --> 00:13:52,922 -[grunts] Gah! -[bangs] 311 00:13:53,832 --> 00:13:56,592 A wad of gum, a banana and two leftover milkshakes? 312 00:13:56,669 --> 00:13:59,299 I'm trying to save baby love, not topple a government. 313 00:13:59,380 --> 00:14:01,380 -[bangs] -Do better, trash can! 314 00:14:01,465 --> 00:14:03,425 -[monitor chimes] -[Staci] What is going on, BB? 315 00:14:03,509 --> 00:14:04,589 Baby love's cratering, 316 00:14:04,677 --> 00:14:06,927 and Jimbo's grasping at sippy straws up here! 317 00:14:07,012 --> 00:14:10,352 ♪ As I was walking One morning for pleasure ♪ 318 00:14:10,432 --> 00:14:13,982 ♪ I spied a cowpuncher riding along ♪ 319 00:14:14,270 --> 00:14:15,770 -[parents grumbling] -[man] We're going around in circles! 320 00:14:15,854 --> 00:14:17,774 -[angry voices overlapping] -Boss! 321 00:14:17,856 --> 00:14:20,106 -Can you hear me? -[Mega Fat] You remind me of me. 322 00:14:20,192 --> 00:14:22,442 -[parents grumbling] -...all the way south. Kulkelka brings... 323 00:14:22,528 --> 00:14:24,988 -Give me candy! -[woman] I cannot believe this! 324 00:14:25,072 --> 00:14:27,992 [woman] This is just a trap. It doesn't exist. 325 00:14:28,075 --> 00:14:30,075 [man] Where's the water closet? Someone... 326 00:14:30,160 --> 00:14:32,870 -[grunting] -[music playing] 327 00:14:34,915 --> 00:14:35,745 [gasps] 328 00:14:37,376 --> 00:14:41,296 -[music continues] -Ice cream man! 329 00:14:41,380 --> 00:14:42,760 [preek yells] Ice cream! 330 00:14:43,424 --> 00:14:45,724 -The bathroom! It's open! -[man 2] Yeah! 331 00:14:45,801 --> 00:14:47,511 [man 2] I see the changing table! 332 00:14:48,345 --> 00:14:49,175 [beeps] 333 00:14:49,388 --> 00:14:51,848 Yes! Way to go, boss! 334 00:14:51,932 --> 00:14:53,602 -[sighs] Just in time, too. -[Jimbo singing] 335 00:14:53,684 --> 00:14:56,234 I don't know how much longer our diversion would have worked. 336 00:14:56,312 --> 00:14:59,982 ♪ Whoopee ti-yi-yo Git along little dogies ♪ 337 00:15:00,065 --> 00:15:03,605 ♪ It's your misfortune And none of my own ♪ 338 00:15:03,694 --> 00:15:07,454 [both] ♪ Whoopee ti-yi-yo Git along little dogies 339 00:15:07,740 --> 00:15:09,240 [Jimbo, Scary] ♪ You know that Wyoming ♪ 340 00:15:09,325 --> 00:15:14,245 ♪ Will be your new ho-oo-ome ♪ 341 00:15:15,915 --> 00:15:17,035 [Tim chuckles] What? 342 00:15:17,124 --> 00:15:20,544 -[Mega Fat laughs] -[laughs] A preek? No way! Then what? 343 00:15:20,628 --> 00:15:22,168 I was all like, "Oh, no!" 344 00:15:22,254 --> 00:15:24,554 And the team was all like... [babbling] 345 00:15:24,632 --> 00:15:27,342 But then our instincts took over and we did what had to be done. 346 00:15:27,426 --> 00:15:30,346 Before I forget, wanna give a quick hoo-rah to Jarreau. 347 00:15:30,429 --> 00:15:33,769 Way to have that toy. You were right, it would come in handy. 348 00:15:33,849 --> 00:15:34,889 [moans] 349 00:15:34,975 --> 00:15:38,015 No, you said that. I definitely remember you saying that. 350 00:15:38,395 --> 00:15:40,725 I'm so jealous. Sounds like a fun mission. 351 00:15:41,023 --> 00:15:43,113 It really was. Ahem. 352 00:15:43,734 --> 00:15:45,864 I had my doubts. No, no, I did. 353 00:15:45,945 --> 00:15:48,105 But looking around this room now, 354 00:15:48,197 --> 00:15:52,117 I don't see a bunch of babies. No. I see a budding field team 355 00:15:52,201 --> 00:15:55,251 and one baby with a kazoo in her mouth for some reason...? 356 00:15:55,579 --> 00:15:57,999 [gasps] Thomas Kulkelka's kazoo? 357 00:15:58,207 --> 00:16:00,537 [tooting] 358 00:16:01,502 --> 00:16:02,962 So, no big deal? 359 00:16:03,045 --> 00:16:05,045 It's the most important kazoo ever! 360 00:16:05,130 --> 00:16:07,130 My school mascot is the Kazooers! 361 00:16:07,216 --> 00:16:09,796 Danny Petrosky lives on one of the three streets in town 362 00:16:09,885 --> 00:16:10,965 called Kazoo Street! 363 00:16:11,136 --> 00:16:14,006 That kazoo gets its own float in the town parade, 364 00:16:14,098 --> 00:16:15,678 and it's the float with the best candy! 365 00:16:15,766 --> 00:16:17,176 Oh, I'm ruined! 366 00:16:17,267 --> 00:16:19,477 If anyone finds out it was a baby who took that kazoo, 367 00:16:19,561 --> 00:16:21,811 it will be the worst art-related baby love scandal 368 00:16:21,897 --> 00:16:24,067 since Van Gogh's "got your ear" mishap! 369 00:16:24,149 --> 00:16:25,359 [babbles] 370 00:16:25,442 --> 00:16:27,402 Give it back?! Impossible! 371 00:16:27,486 --> 00:16:29,106 Baby love is 90-percent image. 372 00:16:29,196 --> 00:16:31,526 You want that image morphing into the grizzled visage 373 00:16:31,615 --> 00:16:33,865 of some stripe-shirted museum thief? 374 00:16:33,951 --> 00:16:34,991 [toots] 375 00:16:35,077 --> 00:16:37,197 Maybe the real journey was-- 376 00:16:37,287 --> 00:16:39,787 -[snaps] I'm not on a journey! -[babbling] 377 00:16:39,873 --> 00:16:41,423 Stop asking about Portlands! 378 00:16:41,500 --> 00:16:42,460 [screaming] 379 00:16:42,543 --> 00:16:46,383 You're all tiny, insane people! You've ruined everything! 380 00:16:46,463 --> 00:16:47,303 [kazoo buzzes] 381 00:16:47,381 --> 00:16:48,801 -[Boss Baby grunts] -[wailing] 382 00:16:48,882 --> 00:16:51,012 [Boss Baby sighs] I'd stay and chat, 383 00:16:51,093 --> 00:16:54,053 but someone's gotta get the kazoo back to the museum 384 00:16:54,138 --> 00:16:55,848 and save baby love. 385 00:16:55,931 --> 00:16:58,771 -Thank you! Thank you all! -[door slams] 386 00:16:59,101 --> 00:17:00,851 Breaking news! I have to get to the station. 387 00:17:01,228 --> 00:17:03,308 Kulkelka's kazoo got clipped by a klepto! 388 00:17:03,897 --> 00:17:05,187 -Gee! -I love that kazoo! 389 00:17:05,274 --> 00:17:07,944 -I've looked at that since I was seven. -[woman] I'm calling the mayor. 390 00:17:08,444 --> 00:17:10,034 After hours, maybe a smash and-- 391 00:17:10,112 --> 00:17:11,822 no, needs an eight-man squad, 392 00:17:11,905 --> 00:17:14,485 one that doesn't just care about stuffed giraffes and Portlands. 393 00:17:14,575 --> 00:17:16,445 -Ugh. If it's just me and Templeton-- -[knocking on door] 394 00:17:17,453 --> 00:17:20,003 Can just you and me still get the kazoo back 395 00:17:20,080 --> 00:17:22,290 if the museum added extra security? 396 00:17:22,374 --> 00:17:25,094 'Cause I heard the grown-ups talking, and they did. 397 00:17:25,169 --> 00:17:27,709 So, the museum's gone from pillow fort to Fort Knox? 398 00:17:27,796 --> 00:17:29,876 Great! I'll run the numbers again. 399 00:17:30,174 --> 00:17:32,224 Basic museum job, add overnight guard... 400 00:17:32,301 --> 00:17:34,681 -Plus angry townspeople outside. -[Boss Baby] Carry the vigilantes. 401 00:17:34,762 --> 00:17:36,762 And lasers. Always assume lasers. 402 00:17:36,847 --> 00:17:38,387 Hmm. Good policy. 403 00:17:39,141 --> 00:17:40,021 What's it say? 404 00:17:44,229 --> 00:17:45,399 Four-person job? 405 00:17:45,814 --> 00:17:48,154 Four-person job. [sighs] 406 00:17:49,651 --> 00:17:53,241 -[beeps] -Staci, it's me. I-- 407 00:17:53,989 --> 00:17:57,279 I thought I could turn these babies into a field team because, well-- 408 00:17:57,367 --> 00:17:59,197 oh, who cares? I failed. 409 00:17:59,286 --> 00:18:01,116 You know how hard it is for me to say this. 410 00:18:01,205 --> 00:18:03,455 "Never admit you're wrong" is my third rule of business, 411 00:18:03,540 --> 00:18:05,080 right after "revenue before costs" 412 00:18:05,167 --> 00:18:07,837 and "business casual isn't attire, it's a slap in the face." 413 00:18:07,920 --> 00:18:10,960 But as I've grown older while staying the same age, 414 00:18:11,048 --> 00:18:15,048 I've come to realize that admitting your mistakes isn't a weakness. 415 00:18:15,761 --> 00:18:17,681 I guess you can say... 416 00:18:17,763 --> 00:18:19,183 I'm on a journey. 417 00:18:19,932 --> 00:18:21,232 And I need help. 418 00:18:23,894 --> 00:18:24,904 Staci...? 419 00:18:24,978 --> 00:18:26,808 [silent] 420 00:18:28,107 --> 00:18:28,937 -[squeaks] -[both yelp] 421 00:18:29,191 --> 00:18:32,691 Sorry! Had to mute my mic because it's crazy in here! 422 00:18:32,778 --> 00:18:34,818 -Cannot hear a word you're saying, -[music playing] 423 00:18:34,905 --> 00:18:38,195 but great job again on the museum, boss! [chuckles] 424 00:18:38,283 --> 00:18:41,543 This new CEO is a hoot! Call you later! 425 00:18:41,620 --> 00:18:42,450 [monitor beeps] 426 00:18:42,746 --> 00:18:43,656 [sighs] 427 00:18:43,747 --> 00:18:45,957 So, two-man job? 428 00:18:46,875 --> 00:18:48,955 We'll cut some corners and hope no one notices. 429 00:18:49,044 --> 00:18:51,554 "Saturday chore-style." Got it. What's the plan? 430 00:18:52,381 --> 00:18:53,301 [angry voices overlapping] 431 00:18:53,382 --> 00:18:55,722 -[woman] What is this world coming to? -[woman 2] I can't believe it's not here! 432 00:18:55,926 --> 00:18:58,506 [Boss Baby narrating] Nine twenty-three-- sneak past angry townspeople 433 00:18:58,595 --> 00:19:00,595 and locate museum air ducts. 434 00:19:00,973 --> 00:19:05,063 Nine twenty-five-- enter exterior hallway via air duct C. 435 00:19:05,144 --> 00:19:08,364 Nine twenty-seven-- give Templeton one minute to go nuts for the art. 436 00:19:08,438 --> 00:19:10,018 Whoa, look at that! Look at the texture. 437 00:19:10,107 --> 00:19:12,817 Whoa, whoa, look at the colors on that! Oh, look at that one! 438 00:19:13,610 --> 00:19:15,950 [Boss Baby narrating] Nine twenty-eight-- take out security. 439 00:19:16,029 --> 00:19:18,819 Ha! Nice try, banana peel. 440 00:19:18,907 --> 00:19:21,367 [grunts] Huh...? Wha--? 441 00:19:21,451 --> 00:19:22,741 -[clatters] -[grunting] 442 00:19:23,745 --> 00:19:25,325 Viva la revolución! 443 00:19:25,789 --> 00:19:26,999 [Boss Baby narrating] Nine thirty-- 444 00:19:27,082 --> 00:19:30,342 expertly navigate laser field to reach kazoo display case. 445 00:19:30,961 --> 00:19:32,801 [grunting] 446 00:19:33,964 --> 00:19:35,844 Hah! Agh! 447 00:19:35,924 --> 00:19:36,764 Missing tie clip! 448 00:19:37,259 --> 00:19:38,509 [grunts] 449 00:19:39,136 --> 00:19:40,796 Oh-hh! Ooh! Ooh. 450 00:19:42,055 --> 00:19:43,265 [gasps] 451 00:19:43,348 --> 00:19:44,468 So long, baby love. 452 00:19:44,975 --> 00:19:45,845 Whoa! 453 00:19:46,143 --> 00:19:48,353 So long, Baby Corp. [yelps] 454 00:19:52,316 --> 00:19:54,396 -Howdy, hi-hi-hi! -Mega Fat? 455 00:19:54,484 --> 00:19:57,204 -[gasps] The lasers! -Done been taken care of. 456 00:19:57,279 --> 00:20:00,119 [Mega Fat] Scooter made a "tummy fountain" on the power box. 457 00:20:00,741 --> 00:20:02,991 -[grunts] -Like I said, Double-B, I've been there. 458 00:20:03,076 --> 00:20:05,116 Well, not exactly there. You look silly. 459 00:20:05,204 --> 00:20:08,084 I mean, I've been there, like, emotionally. 460 00:20:08,165 --> 00:20:10,535 -They come to help, too? -Oh, mmm-- no way. 461 00:20:10,626 --> 00:20:12,996 I told them the big one would have treats. 462 00:20:13,086 --> 00:20:14,376 My mission snacks! 463 00:20:14,588 --> 00:20:16,088 But maybe they can help anyway-sies. 464 00:20:16,173 --> 00:20:18,263 -[faint whining] -Backup generator! 465 00:20:18,342 --> 00:20:19,642 -[Boss Baby grunts] -[Mega Fat yelps] 466 00:20:20,219 --> 00:20:21,929 -[Mega Fat] Oof! -[lasers beeping] 467 00:20:26,350 --> 00:20:27,520 [squeals, giggles] 468 00:20:27,809 --> 00:20:29,269 [babies giggling] 469 00:20:29,811 --> 00:20:31,231 [Scooter squeals] 470 00:20:32,648 --> 00:20:35,398 Maybe they don't have to know they're on a mission to help! 471 00:20:35,484 --> 00:20:37,904 [Boss Baby narrating] Nine thirty-three-- Templeton and Quiet Psycho Baby 472 00:20:37,986 --> 00:20:39,446 take care of the cameras. 473 00:20:39,529 --> 00:20:42,949 Nine thirty-four-- Mega Fat makes sure security stays out of the way. 474 00:20:43,242 --> 00:20:46,542 You gonna let two half-drunk milkshakes defeat you, Debbie? 475 00:20:46,620 --> 00:20:49,120 No, you are not. [screams] 476 00:20:52,251 --> 00:20:53,171 [gasps] 477 00:20:53,627 --> 00:20:55,247 Crimes. 478 00:21:00,634 --> 00:21:03,894 Nine thirty-five-- other babies, just do you. 479 00:21:05,138 --> 00:21:06,598 [Jarreau yelps, moans] 480 00:21:08,141 --> 00:21:09,481 -[giggles, squeals] -[kazoo taps] 481 00:21:09,935 --> 00:21:10,765 Eh...? 482 00:21:11,019 --> 00:21:13,019 [clangs] 483 00:21:13,105 --> 00:21:14,605 -[cord snaps] -[coos] 484 00:21:15,315 --> 00:21:16,145 [clatters] 485 00:21:16,358 --> 00:21:17,778 Yes! It worked! 486 00:21:18,193 --> 00:21:19,993 -[all babbling, laughing] -[alarm tooting] 487 00:21:20,737 --> 00:21:22,407 [gasps] Run! 488 00:21:22,489 --> 00:21:23,819 -[grunting] -[Tim screams] 489 00:21:27,369 --> 00:21:29,039 -[crunches] -[moans] Oh-hh...! 490 00:21:29,121 --> 00:21:31,621 When we get home, animal crackers on me. 491 00:21:31,707 --> 00:21:32,707 -[Tim] Deal! -[grunts] 492 00:21:34,418 --> 00:21:37,128 My tie clip! You've had it this whole time? I-- 493 00:21:39,589 --> 00:21:42,839 I'm not mad. If it wasn't for you, I might not-- 494 00:21:43,176 --> 00:21:44,466 You're kidding me! 495 00:21:44,678 --> 00:21:45,928 [Dakota babbles] 496 00:21:46,013 --> 00:21:48,273 -Girl's got skills. -[Mega Fat sighs] 497 00:21:48,348 --> 00:21:50,178 Well, this is me. 498 00:21:50,267 --> 00:21:52,267 [whistling] 499 00:21:54,896 --> 00:21:57,266 What? Oh, fine. 500 00:21:57,357 --> 00:21:58,977 -[whistling] -Hey, Mega Fat. 501 00:21:59,067 --> 00:22:01,187 -Whoo...? -Thanks for being there for me. 502 00:22:01,278 --> 00:22:03,568 You're welcome. Okay, toodles! 503 00:22:03,655 --> 00:22:07,615 Can't wait to continue your journey of baby self-discovery tomorrow. 504 00:22:09,244 --> 00:22:11,584 -[group babbling] -What do you think of your field team now? 505 00:22:11,830 --> 00:22:14,290 I think they're a bunch of babies. 506 00:22:14,374 --> 00:22:15,634 And I can work with that. 507 00:22:17,210 --> 00:22:18,050 [Scary] Thank you. 508 00:22:18,253 --> 00:22:21,513 I'm not too big a baby to admit I've been a total [babbles]. 509 00:22:21,590 --> 00:22:24,090 Maybe what Baby Corp really needs is a leader who's not afraid to-- 510 00:22:24,176 --> 00:22:27,256 Where have you been all day and night and morning? 511 00:22:27,346 --> 00:22:29,676 This is a business, ya know! 512 00:22:30,640 --> 00:22:36,230 [announcer] Scary Sweary CEO Baby, you're fired. 513 00:22:36,563 --> 00:22:37,523 Oops! 514 00:22:37,606 --> 00:22:39,226 -[whimpering] -[elevator bell rings] 515 00:22:39,316 --> 00:22:42,276 -[Scary babbling loudly] -[Jimbo wails] 516 00:23:05,133 --> 00:23:07,263 ♪ Boss Baby ♪