1
00:00:13,471 --> 00:00:15,021
-[boy grunts]
-[phone dings]

2
00:00:15,098 --> 00:00:16,928
Hold all my calls.

3
00:00:17,100 --> 00:00:19,810
-[baby giggling]
-[lullaby plays]

4
00:00:19,894 --> 00:00:21,484
♪ Boss Baby ♪

5
00:00:21,563 --> 00:00:25,443
♪ I'm the Boss, Boss Baby, boss, boss
Boss Baby, boss, boss ♪

6
00:00:25,525 --> 00:00:28,065
♪ Watch a itty-bitty kid get large ♪

7
00:00:28,153 --> 00:00:30,703
♪ I'm the big Boss Baby in charge ♪

8
00:00:30,780 --> 00:00:33,160
♪ Stroller rolling
Up and down the boulevard ♪

9
00:00:33,491 --> 00:00:35,741
♪ I'm the big Boss Baby in charge ♪

10
00:00:36,202 --> 00:00:39,082
♪ I run this house, I rule this crib ♪

11
00:00:39,164 --> 00:00:41,624
♪ Change my diaper, son
Where's my bib? ♪

12
00:00:41,708 --> 00:00:44,418
♪ Don't pacify
You just got to pay me ♪

13
00:00:44,502 --> 00:00:46,962
-♪ Who's in charge? ♪
-♪ Me, the Boss Baby ♪

14
00:00:48,298 --> 00:00:50,178
-Guess what! Huh?
-[Boss baby] Shh!

15
00:00:50,258 --> 00:00:52,338
Quiet, Templeton. Enemies everywhere!

16
00:00:52,427 --> 00:00:55,047
So, you're hiding
in a fort made of cushions?

17
00:00:55,138 --> 00:00:56,638
Come on, Mom and Dad are already--

18
00:00:57,015 --> 00:00:59,135
[recording] Shh! Quiet, Templeton.
Enemies everywhere!

19
00:00:59,476 --> 00:01:00,436
What?

20
00:01:01,269 --> 00:01:02,479
[both grunting]

21
00:01:02,562 --> 00:01:04,442
[recording] Shh! Quiet, Templeton.
Enemies everywhere!

22
00:01:04,522 --> 00:01:05,442
Disappointing.

23
00:01:05,523 --> 00:01:08,033
Really need more from you
on this project, Templeton.

24
00:01:08,234 --> 00:01:10,364
What the heck are you talking about?
[grunts]

25
00:01:10,445 --> 00:01:12,525
My week-long suspension from work.

26
00:01:12,614 --> 00:01:13,994
If I'm not allowed to go to the office,

27
00:01:14,074 --> 00:01:16,494
I need to sharpen
my executive skills here,

28
00:01:16,576 --> 00:01:19,286
which is very difficult
when there's no one to do business with.

29
00:01:19,370 --> 00:01:20,870
You're on loafer's retreat from school...

30
00:01:20,955 --> 00:01:22,955
-Spring break.
-So, help me out.

31
00:01:23,041 --> 00:01:25,961
I'm losing my entire business mojo
being stuck at home.

32
00:01:26,044 --> 00:01:26,884
Well, good news.

33
00:01:26,961 --> 00:01:30,051
-We're only home for a few more seconds!
-What the-- [yelps]

34
00:01:32,050 --> 00:01:34,800
What just happened?
Why am I in my vroom-vroom seat?

35
00:01:34,928 --> 00:01:37,008
Spring break!

36
00:01:37,096 --> 00:01:40,426
It's the wildest, craziest
vacation time of the year.

37
00:01:40,517 --> 00:01:41,937
-[engine starts]
-[radio playing]

38
00:01:42,018 --> 00:01:44,228
-Spring break!
-Spring break!

39
00:01:47,440 --> 00:01:50,990
Don't tell me we're off
to some East Floridian sunscreen pit.

40
00:01:51,069 --> 00:01:53,279
[Ted] Chicago, here we come!

41
00:01:53,363 --> 00:01:55,573
We're going to visit
Gigi and Grandpa Big Ed!

42
00:01:55,657 --> 00:01:59,237
Really? I assumed Gigi lived in
some sort of blue-collar workers' commune

43
00:01:59,327 --> 00:02:02,787
where they bend sheet metal and shout
propaganda into their banjos all day.

44
00:02:02,872 --> 00:02:05,132
And she's married? Good for her.

45
00:02:05,208 --> 00:02:07,458
But my corporate moxie
is declining fast enough.

46
00:02:07,544 --> 00:02:09,714
Mushy grandparent kisses
are the last thing I--

47
00:02:09,796 --> 00:02:11,666
Can we play games
the whole way to Gigi's house?

48
00:02:12,090 --> 00:02:13,680
Well, I don't know, Tim.

49
00:02:13,758 --> 00:02:16,138
Is that an official request?

50
00:02:16,219 --> 00:02:18,139
Spring break!

51
00:02:18,221 --> 00:02:20,271
The boy invoked spring break law, honey.

52
00:02:20,348 --> 00:02:21,978
Our hands are tied.

53
00:02:23,726 --> 00:02:26,556
♪ My name is Mom and I am the bomb ♪

54
00:02:26,646 --> 00:02:29,606
♪ My name is Dad and I'm super rad ♪

55
00:02:29,691 --> 00:02:32,321
♪ My name is Tim, that's me, I'm him ♪

56
00:02:32,819 --> 00:02:34,149
[Ted] Dog house.

57
00:02:34,404 --> 00:02:35,954
[Janice] House warming.

58
00:02:36,030 --> 00:02:37,320
[Tim] Warming up.

59
00:02:37,490 --> 00:02:38,870
Updraft.

60
00:02:38,950 --> 00:02:40,200
Draft rootbeer.

61
00:02:40,368 --> 00:02:41,698
[Tim] Rootbeer float!

62
00:02:41,786 --> 00:02:44,996
♪ With the snacks in our hands
We're a real snack band ♪

63
00:02:45,081 --> 00:02:46,751
-♪ Snack band ♪
-♪ Yeah-yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah ♪

64
00:02:46,833 --> 00:02:48,633
♪ Snack band, uh-huh ♪

65
00:02:48,710 --> 00:02:50,210
Beef stick baby solo!

66
00:02:50,295 --> 00:02:52,085
A-booga-booga-booga-booga-- Ah!

67
00:02:52,172 --> 00:02:54,552
[man] Hey! Watch where you're slingin'
beefsticks, guy!

68
00:02:54,632 --> 00:02:57,182
[Ted] Check it out, boys-- the Windy City.

69
00:02:57,385 --> 00:02:59,385
Chicago, Illinois!

70
00:02:59,971 --> 00:03:02,641
Sacred steel and hallowed marble.

71
00:03:02,724 --> 00:03:06,274
Every tower a temple of capitalism
and corporate excess!

72
00:03:06,352 --> 00:03:08,522
I want a pizza as fat as a tractor tire

73
00:03:08,605 --> 00:03:10,225
and one of those hot dogs
with too much on it!

74
00:03:10,607 --> 00:03:12,397
This is exactly what I needed to--

75
00:03:12,483 --> 00:03:15,363
-[Janice] Honey, you're missing the exit!
-[Ted] I got it! We're good!

76
00:03:15,445 --> 00:03:16,985
Exit? Why are we exiting?

77
00:03:17,155 --> 00:03:19,155
Gigi and Grandpa Big Ed
don't live in the city.

78
00:03:19,240 --> 00:03:21,120
-They live in the suburbs.
-No, no, no, no, no!

79
00:03:21,200 --> 00:03:22,330
Make them turn around!

80
00:03:22,410 --> 00:03:24,250
Just give me one day
to challenge my skills

81
00:03:24,329 --> 00:03:26,409
in that pulsing mecca of commerce!

82
00:03:26,497 --> 00:03:28,417
I wanna see Gigi and Grandpa Big Ed.

83
00:03:30,418 --> 00:03:33,128
Spring break.

84
00:03:33,212 --> 00:03:36,592
How dare you invoke
spring break law for work stuff?

85
00:03:36,841 --> 00:03:41,101
Spring break. Spring break.

86
00:03:41,179 --> 00:03:42,849
Spring break, spring break, spring break.

87
00:03:42,931 --> 00:03:45,731
-Spring break.
-[Tim sighs]

88
00:03:45,808 --> 00:03:48,188
Fine, I'll see what I can do. [gasps]

89
00:03:48,269 --> 00:03:49,189
Gigi!

90
00:03:49,729 --> 00:03:51,559
You're so much bigger!

91
00:03:51,648 --> 00:03:54,358
[Ed] Make room for your big, dumb grandpa.

92
00:03:54,442 --> 00:03:56,992
-Grandpa Big Ed!
-[laughs]

93
00:03:57,070 --> 00:03:59,450
-[giggles]
-[grunts]

94
00:03:59,530 --> 00:04:01,700
I can barely toss you around anymore!

95
00:04:01,783 --> 00:04:03,123
How old are you, 36?

96
00:04:03,493 --> 00:04:06,083
Hey, so, this is the little guy.

97
00:04:06,162 --> 00:04:09,292
Hey, unbuckle him.
My sausage fingers are too clumsy.

98
00:04:11,376 --> 00:04:13,246
-[Boss Baby gasps]
-Now this is toss-able guy!

99
00:04:13,378 --> 00:04:16,258
-[chuckles] Light as a potato.
-[gasping, grunting]

100
00:04:16,714 --> 00:04:18,304
Hi, Mom.

101
00:04:18,383 --> 00:04:20,343
Great to see you, Gigi.

102
00:04:20,426 --> 00:04:22,216
-What do you guys want to do first?
-[yawns]

103
00:04:22,303 --> 00:04:24,263
Pretty beat from the drive, actually.

104
00:04:24,347 --> 00:04:26,427
-Figured we'd hang out here--
-Can we go into the city?

105
00:04:26,516 --> 00:04:28,596
-Tim...
-You bet we can!

106
00:04:28,851 --> 00:04:29,891
You two go rest.

107
00:04:29,978 --> 00:04:31,808
Big Ed and I will take the kids.

108
00:04:31,896 --> 00:04:32,856
Where you going, Ed?

109
00:04:33,273 --> 00:04:34,983
[stammers] I gotta get the ladder.

110
00:04:35,066 --> 00:04:37,436
-I mis-tossed.
-[giggling]

111
00:04:37,610 --> 00:04:40,240
Um, are you sure you're okay
with the kids?

112
00:04:40,321 --> 00:04:43,161
Zip it, Janice.
Accept the free babysitting.

113
00:04:43,533 --> 00:04:45,993
What do you two little troublemakers
wanna hit first?

114
00:04:46,077 --> 00:04:47,447
[car horns honking]

115
00:04:48,788 --> 00:04:51,708
[cooing, giggling]

116
00:04:53,918 --> 00:04:56,128
Aren't you gonna eat
your Chicago dog, Timmy?

117
00:04:56,212 --> 00:04:57,552
No! [retches]

118
00:04:57,630 --> 00:04:59,420
Who eats a hotdog with tomatoes?

119
00:04:59,507 --> 00:05:00,717
I want it as a souvenir.

120
00:05:00,800 --> 00:05:04,180
Geez, Gigi never told me
you were such a big wiggler!

121
00:05:04,429 --> 00:05:07,349
I could put you
on my fishing hook for bait. [chuckles]

122
00:05:07,807 --> 00:05:09,767
Maybe you'd rather walk with your brother.

123
00:05:10,018 --> 00:05:11,098
Here, Timmy.

124
00:05:11,477 --> 00:05:13,397
Hold my hotdog. Don't eat it!

125
00:05:14,272 --> 00:05:16,772
Oh, come on, Big Ed can't take a nibble?

126
00:05:16,983 --> 00:05:18,113
Don't.

127
00:05:20,153 --> 00:05:23,113
Look at this place, Templeton!
Smell this place.

128
00:05:23,197 --> 00:05:26,487
The food carts, the garbage
from excessive consumerism,

129
00:05:26,576 --> 00:05:29,496
the municipal steam! [sniffs]

130
00:05:29,620 --> 00:05:30,870
[exhales, gasps]

131
00:05:30,955 --> 00:05:33,075
That man! He has two briefcases!

132
00:05:33,166 --> 00:05:35,076
-One for each arm!
-[Gigi] All right.

133
00:05:35,251 --> 00:05:37,501
If you don't mind,
I gotta return a blouse here.

134
00:05:37,712 --> 00:05:40,512
The store is in the skyscraper?

135
00:05:41,758 --> 00:05:44,928
[Boss Baby gasps] Fiduciary Olympus!

136
00:05:46,012 --> 00:05:47,852
-Test me, train me...
-[elevator dings]

137
00:05:47,930 --> 00:05:50,680
...hone me like a blade
in your invisible hand.

138
00:05:50,767 --> 00:05:52,057
Where do you think you're going?

139
00:05:52,143 --> 00:05:54,603
-I think he wants to go to work.
-[babbling]

140
00:05:54,687 --> 00:05:56,897
Upper floors are for snoots in suits.

141
00:05:56,981 --> 00:05:59,401
-We got business down here.
-[whines]

142
00:05:59,984 --> 00:06:02,994
You all go ahead.
I'm gonna test-drive this easy chair.

143
00:06:03,071 --> 00:06:05,661
Yeah, your Gigi,
she takes all day with these returns.

144
00:06:05,948 --> 00:06:08,948
Because management here
is a pain in my hams.

145
00:06:09,035 --> 00:06:11,535
You promised me one day
to challenge my skills.

146
00:06:11,621 --> 00:06:13,661
-Just leave me with the old man.
-You sure?

147
00:06:14,123 --> 00:06:16,083
Spring break.

148
00:06:17,502 --> 00:06:18,462
[cries]

149
00:06:18,544 --> 00:06:21,554
Hey, Grandpa Big Ed,
is it okay if the baby stays with you?

150
00:06:21,631 --> 00:06:22,841
-He's a little sleepy.
-[yawns]

151
00:06:22,924 --> 00:06:24,014
A snuggle buddy!

152
00:06:24,092 --> 00:06:26,762
Yeah, bring that tub-a-chub
right over here.

153
00:06:27,345 --> 00:06:32,225
Oh, now, this is the life, huh?
[yawns, sighs]

154
00:06:32,391 --> 00:06:34,561
-[snoring]
-Heh!

155
00:06:34,644 --> 00:06:37,064
Too easy. I'm almost embarrassed.

156
00:06:40,066 --> 00:06:41,726
[elevator dings]

157
00:06:43,569 --> 00:06:47,489
As your Gigi, it's my job
to teach you the old ways,

158
00:06:47,573 --> 00:06:50,333
stuff too dangerous
for Ted and Janice's weak stomachs.

159
00:06:50,493 --> 00:06:51,793
You have my attention.

160
00:06:52,036 --> 00:06:54,956
Today's lesson: merchandise returns.

161
00:06:55,039 --> 00:06:56,869
You want me to return this lady shirt?

162
00:06:56,958 --> 00:06:59,878
I'm just a kid.
This is grown-up stuff... and boring.

163
00:06:59,961 --> 00:07:01,591
Not the way I do it.

164
00:07:01,671 --> 00:07:03,671
You ever been on a roller coaster?

165
00:07:03,756 --> 00:07:05,966
Yeah! I threw up! It was awesome!

166
00:07:06,134 --> 00:07:08,894
That's what a store
with a stingy return policy feels like.

167
00:07:08,970 --> 00:07:12,100
Whoa! Spring break.

168
00:07:14,100 --> 00:07:16,520
Excuse me.
I would like to return this.

169
00:07:16,602 --> 00:07:20,572
Mm. That's past our 30-day return policy.

170
00:07:20,648 --> 00:07:21,818
Okay, sorry, thanks, bye!

171
00:07:21,899 --> 00:07:24,529
Yep, that was terrifying.
Thanks for the lesson, Gigi.

172
00:07:24,610 --> 00:07:26,070
Ride's not over.

173
00:07:26,154 --> 00:07:27,864
How hard can you slap a counter?

174
00:07:27,947 --> 00:07:29,487
I have always wanted to find out.

175
00:07:29,991 --> 00:07:33,661
[smacks] Hand over that return policy
in writing, now!

176
00:07:33,744 --> 00:07:36,914
-Please?
-Okay, I will get that, sir.

177
00:07:37,290 --> 00:07:38,920
[elevator dings]

178
00:07:39,709 --> 00:07:43,839
-Agricultural futures, am I right?
-[people laughing]

179
00:07:43,921 --> 00:07:45,261
[elevator dings]

180
00:07:45,339 --> 00:07:46,879
Hey, guy, you the new mailroom guy?

181
00:07:47,341 --> 00:07:49,391
Yes, the mailroom! That's me.

182
00:07:49,469 --> 00:07:51,299
Best way to the top
is to start at the bottom.

183
00:07:51,387 --> 00:07:52,717
-That's what I say.
-'Kay, guy.

184
00:07:52,805 --> 00:07:55,385
Help yourself to donuts
and joe in the breakroom.

185
00:07:57,185 --> 00:07:58,185
[man] Yeah. Yeah.

186
00:07:58,436 --> 00:08:00,476
No, if we're going back and forth a lot...

187
00:08:00,730 --> 00:08:02,820
What do you say, here?
Have we got a deal?

188
00:08:03,024 --> 00:08:04,234
Okay, good. Sold!

189
00:08:04,817 --> 00:08:07,197
[inhales, exhales]

190
00:08:07,278 --> 00:08:08,358
I'm home.

191
00:08:08,821 --> 00:08:10,701
-Here you go, Jones.
-[woman] Whoa, look at the zip...

192
00:08:10,781 --> 00:08:12,581
-Package for Chakrabarti.
-Thanks there, guy.

193
00:08:12,742 --> 00:08:14,832
Yo, Zalinski,
hope this is more than bills!

194
00:08:14,911 --> 00:08:15,951
-[Zalinski guffaws]
-Oof!

195
00:08:16,037 --> 00:08:18,787
That Brecklecap-Grunion merger
looks like a dooz!

196
00:08:18,873 --> 00:08:22,463
Slip in an exclusivity clause
to net more liquidity for reinvestment.

197
00:08:22,543 --> 00:08:24,423
Geez, guy! You're a firecracker!

198
00:08:24,587 --> 00:08:27,467
Biff Biedermann,
intra/extra office communications.

199
00:08:45,149 --> 00:08:45,979
[Boss Baby yelps]

200
00:08:46,234 --> 00:08:47,574
Mail for...

201
00:08:47,860 --> 00:08:48,690
Carlisle?

202
00:08:48,778 --> 00:08:51,988
Don't know who you are
or who rented you that lip toupee,

203
00:08:52,073 --> 00:08:53,323
but this is my turf.

204
00:08:53,491 --> 00:08:55,201
Easy do's it, Carlisle.

205
00:08:55,284 --> 00:08:56,624
I'm just a one-day wonder.

206
00:08:56,702 --> 00:08:58,662
Trying to pump up
my wheeling and dealing muscles

207
00:08:58,746 --> 00:09:02,116
in a big-boy office
while Baby Corp has me on sabbatical.

208
00:09:02,833 --> 00:09:05,093
-Tourist?
-CEO, actually.

209
00:09:05,169 --> 00:09:07,209
Oh, ho, ho, look at this guy!

210
00:09:07,296 --> 00:09:09,666
Thinks he wears platinum tinkle-pants!

211
00:09:09,757 --> 00:09:11,587
Grab a donut on the way back to your crib.

212
00:09:11,676 --> 00:09:14,426
If you don't skedaddle,
we got a war on our hands.

213
00:09:14,679 --> 00:09:16,509
[gasps] A war?

214
00:09:16,597 --> 00:09:18,097
-Oh, thank you!
-[grunts]

215
00:09:18,182 --> 00:09:21,272
Oh, what's better than conquering
the adult corporate world?

216
00:09:21,352 --> 00:09:25,612
Defeating a baby who's already conquered
the adult corporate world! [grunts]

217
00:09:25,690 --> 00:09:29,530
Carlisle, you got yourself
an incognito business baby rival.

218
00:09:29,610 --> 00:09:31,820
Biff Biedermann ain't going nowhere.

219
00:09:32,113 --> 00:09:35,873
Then I'll have to
"nowhere" you myself, guy.

220
00:09:38,494 --> 00:09:39,334
You got the edge.

221
00:09:39,412 --> 00:09:41,622
Now find something in this policy
that doesn't make sense

222
00:09:41,706 --> 00:09:43,036
and shove it in her face.

223
00:09:43,291 --> 00:09:46,791
Aha! Right here,
it says "clothes can't be worn."

224
00:09:46,877 --> 00:09:50,207
Is that "worn" like you wore it,
or worn-out, like there's holes in it?

225
00:09:50,298 --> 00:09:51,338
-Pretty unclear.
-[sighs]

226
00:09:51,507 --> 00:09:54,217
It means you can't wear the clothes
and bring 'em back,

227
00:09:54,302 --> 00:09:56,012
like your grandma clearly did.

228
00:09:56,345 --> 00:09:59,885
Okay, let's treat each other
with a little more respect.

229
00:09:59,974 --> 00:10:02,024
Me and you, we're working women, right?

230
00:10:02,101 --> 00:10:03,441
Actually, I'm working.

231
00:10:03,519 --> 00:10:05,899
You're customer-ing,
and you're kinda bad at it.

232
00:10:06,272 --> 00:10:07,822
Why are you such a brick wall?

233
00:10:07,898 --> 00:10:11,488
We're on the same side in this fight
for worker and customer fairness!

234
00:10:12,528 --> 00:10:14,278
Nothing? [scoffs]

235
00:10:14,363 --> 00:10:15,203
You're up, Timmy.

236
00:10:15,281 --> 00:10:18,121
This is the first loop-de-loop
on the retail roller coaster.

237
00:10:18,200 --> 00:10:20,040
Ask for the manager.

238
00:10:21,329 --> 00:10:23,539
May I please discuss this return policy
with the manager?

239
00:10:23,748 --> 00:10:24,918
He's busy.

240
00:10:28,461 --> 00:10:29,921
Have you ever been on spring break?

241
00:10:30,004 --> 00:10:31,054
You kidding?

242
00:10:31,130 --> 00:10:34,510
I met my boyfriend
in an East Floridian sunscreen pit.

243
00:10:34,592 --> 00:10:37,392
Well, I'm on spring break
and I'd like to see the manager.

244
00:10:37,470 --> 00:10:38,970
Spring break!

245
00:10:39,305 --> 00:10:42,425
Well, I can't say no to spring break law.

246
00:10:42,516 --> 00:10:45,516
-Let me grab the manager.
-[line ringing]

247
00:10:45,603 --> 00:10:49,073
So, I told the missus,
"You bring your folks to Lake Geneva,

248
00:10:49,148 --> 00:10:52,228
-I'll be sleeping on the pontoon."
-[people laughing]

249
00:10:52,318 --> 00:10:54,068
-Go, State!
-[all] Go, State!

250
00:10:54,153 --> 00:10:56,163
[laughter continues]

251
00:10:56,238 --> 00:10:59,278
Kuvitsky, is there really a need
for this expensive glossy paper

252
00:10:59,367 --> 00:11:00,787
for intra-office memos?

253
00:11:00,868 --> 00:11:02,698
[Carlisle] Biedermann, a word?

254
00:11:02,995 --> 00:11:06,575
Carlisle! Do you know Kuvitsky,
the office general manager?

255
00:11:07,124 --> 00:11:09,794
Of course I do.
I work here like a normal adult.

256
00:11:09,877 --> 00:11:11,337
Excuse us, Kuvitsky.

257
00:11:11,587 --> 00:11:13,167
You think I'm joking? Scram.

258
00:11:13,255 --> 00:11:15,215
I can get a mail boy fired like that.
[snaps fingers]

259
00:11:15,424 --> 00:11:18,264
Unfortunately, I'm not a mail boy anymore.

260
00:11:18,344 --> 00:11:22,264
Five minutes ago, Kuvitsky promoted me
to assistant office general manager.

261
00:11:22,348 --> 00:11:24,098
My job is to find budget cuts.

262
00:11:24,183 --> 00:11:27,273
I'm gonna propose some streamlining, so...
[snaps fingers]

263
00:11:27,353 --> 00:11:30,443
I'm like a broken furnace.
You're never gonna fire me.

264
00:11:30,689 --> 00:11:32,399
Try me. [snapping]

265
00:11:32,483 --> 00:11:33,443
[snapping]

266
00:11:34,985 --> 00:11:36,195
I feel amazing!

267
00:11:36,278 --> 00:11:37,988
I actually have a manager coming!

268
00:11:38,072 --> 00:11:39,122
Never back down.

269
00:11:39,198 --> 00:11:41,198
This store doesn't exist
without the customers,

270
00:11:41,283 --> 00:11:44,503
so you got no reason to let
some suit-and-tie suck-up intimidate you.

271
00:11:44,578 --> 00:11:46,078
May I serve you?

272
00:11:47,206 --> 00:11:49,706
Ah! Steve-fan the flight attendant?

273
00:11:49,875 --> 00:11:51,585
Well, howdy-do!

274
00:11:51,669 --> 00:11:54,879
It's my favorite little passenger
who won't pronounce a name right,

275
00:11:54,964 --> 00:11:57,054
even if it's sitting
right in front of him!

276
00:11:57,842 --> 00:11:59,472
It's "Stevefan."

277
00:11:59,844 --> 00:12:02,104
-You know this guy?
-Oh, yes!

278
00:12:02,179 --> 00:12:04,849
This cool dude was the straw
that popped a hole in my dream life

279
00:12:04,932 --> 00:12:06,562
of soaring over the oceans.

280
00:12:06,642 --> 00:12:09,102
Now I'm stuck on the ground floor
of a skyscraper.

281
00:12:09,186 --> 00:12:12,016
Really makes you laugh. [laughs]

282
00:12:12,106 --> 00:12:12,936
One moment.

283
00:12:13,023 --> 00:12:16,533
Attention, customers,
we're having a flash sale on intimates!

284
00:12:16,610 --> 00:12:18,450
[chuckles] Underpants sale.

285
00:12:18,529 --> 00:12:21,449
Now, how may I serve you, customer?

286
00:12:21,532 --> 00:12:23,282
I'd like to return this, Steve-fan.

287
00:12:23,367 --> 00:12:26,117
[chuckles] Over my store policy.

288
00:12:26,203 --> 00:12:29,873
-Spring brea--
-I only honor the winter holidays.

289
00:12:29,957 --> 00:12:32,077
[gasps] So cold!

290
00:12:32,626 --> 00:12:34,456
Yeah, see, right there, guy.

291
00:12:34,545 --> 00:12:37,005
[Kuvitsky] Corporate charter says
you do have the power

292
00:12:37,089 --> 00:12:39,429
to fire an assistant
office general manager.

293
00:12:40,176 --> 00:12:44,256
Find Biedermann so I can break it to him
that his position's been eliminated.

294
00:12:44,346 --> 00:12:45,716
Here, Biffy Biffy!

295
00:12:46,599 --> 00:12:49,689
Need a promotion! Need a promotion!
Need a promotion!

296
00:12:50,060 --> 00:12:53,310
Eh! Dang complicated deal!

297
00:12:53,397 --> 00:12:55,017
Superior in distress?

298
00:12:55,191 --> 00:12:57,571
Corporate gods, you make me blush.

299
00:12:58,777 --> 00:13:02,527
Hey, Garcia. What's wrong with my favorite
VP of Draft Acquisitions?

300
00:13:02,615 --> 00:13:06,735
This Flowers Department Store acquisition
is a real busted hinge!

301
00:13:06,827 --> 00:13:08,247
Can't find a way to close it!

302
00:13:08,412 --> 00:13:09,752
Mind if I take a look?

303
00:13:10,498 --> 00:13:13,458
Well, just leverage the pending
O'Keefe Data Systems merger

304
00:13:13,542 --> 00:13:14,422
to sweeten the pot.

305
00:13:14,502 --> 00:13:17,922
The Flowers deal will close
like a morning glory at noon.

306
00:13:18,339 --> 00:13:19,339
That's...

307
00:13:19,423 --> 00:13:23,513
You just secured us
an acquisition and a merger!

308
00:13:23,594 --> 00:13:24,974
[laughter]

309
00:13:25,054 --> 00:13:27,524
Assume firing positions.

310
00:13:27,598 --> 00:13:30,428
[Garcia] I'd like to introduce you all
to our newly promoted

311
00:13:30,518 --> 00:13:33,518
Associate VP of Mergers and Acquisitions!

312
00:13:33,896 --> 00:13:34,726
[grumbles]

313
00:13:36,607 --> 00:13:38,857
I'm not leaving until I get a refund
for this blouse.

314
00:13:38,943 --> 00:13:42,863
Well, you're not getting a refund
on this blouse, so buh-bye.

315
00:13:43,405 --> 00:13:44,365
I have a plan.

316
00:13:44,448 --> 00:13:47,868
You distract him, I'll make things
very uncomfortable around here.

317
00:13:49,787 --> 00:13:52,457
[Stevefan] Ah! You come back here
with my walkie!

318
00:13:52,665 --> 00:13:55,625
Management here seems like
a real hard butt, huh?

319
00:13:55,709 --> 00:13:57,589
Whoo! You said it there, guy.

320
00:13:57,670 --> 00:13:59,920
Wanna know how to stick it to him?

321
00:14:00,339 --> 00:14:03,549
Using mergers to maximize leverage
on acquisitions

322
00:14:03,634 --> 00:14:06,684
puts us in a better position,
not only for stronger closings,

323
00:14:06,762 --> 00:14:10,062
but also additional acquisitions!

324
00:14:11,141 --> 00:14:13,941
Shh! The CEO is gonna speak.

325
00:14:14,019 --> 00:14:16,939
So, you're an associate vice president,
Biedermann?

326
00:14:17,022 --> 00:14:19,652
I'm also hardworking, whip-smart,
and immodest.

327
00:14:19,733 --> 00:14:22,033
[all laughing]

328
00:14:22,945 --> 00:14:23,775
Love it.

329
00:14:23,862 --> 00:14:27,872
Wouldn't Biedermann be perfect to fill
our open chief financial officer job?

330
00:14:28,200 --> 00:14:31,000
CFO? That's like the CEO of money!

331
00:14:31,078 --> 00:14:33,498
-Yes, of course I'll take the job!
-[laughter continues]

332
00:14:34,373 --> 00:14:35,423
Walk with me.

333
00:14:35,583 --> 00:14:37,923
I want you to meet
our chief operating officer.

334
00:14:38,002 --> 00:14:41,342
You'll be working hand in hand
to execute my corporate vision.

335
00:14:41,714 --> 00:14:43,094
Ah, here he is.

336
00:14:43,507 --> 00:14:45,837
Carlisle meet our new CFO Biedermann.

337
00:14:45,926 --> 00:14:47,216
Biedermann, Carlisle.

338
00:14:47,303 --> 00:14:49,223
-Carlisle.
-Biedermann.

339
00:14:49,305 --> 00:14:51,055
Gotta run. I got hoops tickets later.

340
00:14:51,140 --> 00:14:53,270
-Go, State!
-[people] Go, State!

341
00:14:53,517 --> 00:14:55,387
So, you're COO.

342
00:14:55,477 --> 00:14:57,437
That explains the strong hand
you've been playing.

343
00:14:57,521 --> 00:14:59,611
You don't think I have
an ace up my sleeve?

344
00:14:59,690 --> 00:15:03,360
My sleeve is made of aces,
so if you want to push, ante up.

345
00:15:03,444 --> 00:15:05,614
I'm holding, you're folding.

346
00:15:05,696 --> 00:15:07,986
Can we at least agree neither of us
knows anything about poker

347
00:15:08,073 --> 00:15:09,163
other than the terminology?

348
00:15:09,241 --> 00:15:12,041
We can... but I'm still axing you.

349
00:15:12,119 --> 00:15:16,209
Good luck. May the best baby
disguised as a man win.

350
00:15:17,708 --> 00:15:21,708
Stace? I need you to fax some data
to a grown-up company in Chicago.

351
00:15:22,254 --> 00:15:26,094
Let my grandma return her blouse
and you can have your walkie back!

352
00:15:26,342 --> 00:15:29,262
I would love to not do that.

353
00:15:29,470 --> 00:15:30,680
Attention, shoppers.

354
00:15:30,763 --> 00:15:33,813
Because Manager Steve-fan's breath
smells like moth balls,

355
00:15:33,891 --> 00:15:37,061
we're giving you 80 percent off
all ball-shaped merchandise!

356
00:15:37,561 --> 00:15:39,061
Yeah!

357
00:15:40,773 --> 00:15:42,073
Thanks for shopping with us.

358
00:15:42,149 --> 00:15:44,609
Sadly, there is no ball sale.

359
00:15:44,693 --> 00:15:47,703
And my breath smells fresh
as a crisp winter's morning,

360
00:15:47,780 --> 00:15:52,200
and every one of my many kissing partners
knows it! [yells]

361
00:15:53,369 --> 00:15:54,749
-I lost him for a minute.
-Good.

362
00:15:54,912 --> 00:15:56,962
Now, here's what I want you
to say into the walkie.

363
00:15:57,331 --> 00:16:00,381
[Tim] Attention, all worker people,
please report to the returns counter

364
00:16:00,459 --> 00:16:02,799
to learn how to improve your lives
by forming a union.

365
00:16:02,920 --> 00:16:04,550
[gasps] No!

366
00:16:06,090 --> 00:16:07,510
[pants, yelps]

367
00:16:10,177 --> 00:16:12,927
When you band together as one,
you'll get higher wages,

368
00:16:13,138 --> 00:16:15,928
better hours, and, most of all, respect!

369
00:16:16,100 --> 00:16:18,560
You set the terms.
You stick it to the man!

370
00:16:18,727 --> 00:16:20,977
Union! Say it with me!

371
00:16:21,063 --> 00:16:22,233
[all] Union!

372
00:16:22,898 --> 00:16:26,858
Hey, slugger, that room
is for trying on merchandise only.

373
00:16:26,944 --> 00:16:28,784
I'm gonna need you to step out.

374
00:16:28,862 --> 00:16:29,952
[Tim] Attention, shoppers.

375
00:16:30,030 --> 00:16:32,660
-See manager at the changing rooms.
-No!

376
00:16:32,741 --> 00:16:34,991
[Tim] If you can smell his breath
without throwing up for ten seconds,

377
00:16:35,285 --> 00:16:37,575
you get ten dollars in free mouthwash!

378
00:16:38,455 --> 00:16:42,245
That loudspeaker
does not set store policy!

379
00:16:42,334 --> 00:16:46,384
-[workers chanting] Union! Union! Union!
-[screams]

380
00:16:47,715 --> 00:16:49,675
Code Unicorn!

381
00:16:49,758 --> 00:16:56,268
-Attempted unionization in progress! Ah!
-Can't stop the union train now.

382
00:16:56,348 --> 00:17:00,348
You think this is gonna change my mind
on your blouse return?

383
00:17:00,436 --> 00:17:03,556
Oh, this got bigger than blouses,
manager man.

384
00:17:03,731 --> 00:17:05,321
This is about justice!

385
00:17:05,399 --> 00:17:08,279
Fair terms and fair wages
for all the workers of the world!

386
00:17:08,360 --> 00:17:11,240
But if you do wanna let my Gigi
return her blouse, that's fine, too.

387
00:17:11,321 --> 00:17:13,321
[growls] Never! Gah!

388
00:17:13,490 --> 00:17:16,240
McHennessy, I have
something exciting to share.

389
00:17:16,326 --> 00:17:19,456
Biedermann, Carlisle just made
a pretty convincing argument

390
00:17:19,538 --> 00:17:20,538
for your termination.

391
00:17:20,789 --> 00:17:23,999
Oh? Then I guess you're not interested
in seeing this folder.

392
00:17:24,752 --> 00:17:27,552
I've prepared what I call
a vision redirect

393
00:17:27,629 --> 00:17:30,799
for International Holdings
and Worldwide Investments, Incorporated.

394
00:17:30,883 --> 00:17:31,973
Love it already. Go.

395
00:17:32,051 --> 00:17:34,431
-What?
-Who doesn't love a vision redirect?

396
00:17:35,054 --> 00:17:36,014
Babies.

397
00:17:36,096 --> 00:17:37,056
-But--
-Shh!

398
00:17:37,473 --> 00:17:41,023
As you can see by the market research,
babies are quickly becoming

399
00:17:41,101 --> 00:17:44,521
not only the most loved thing,
but the only loved thing.

400
00:17:44,938 --> 00:17:47,518
Yellow 100 is almost a reality!

401
00:17:48,776 --> 00:17:49,646
Uh, it's a code name.

402
00:17:49,735 --> 00:17:53,065
In conclusion,
this company's future is babies.

403
00:17:53,238 --> 00:17:55,818
I've never seen
an international market more ripe

404
00:17:55,908 --> 00:17:58,158
for acquisitions, mergers,
and investments.

405
00:17:58,869 --> 00:18:01,329
Biedermann, you're an invaluable part
of this company.

406
00:18:01,413 --> 00:18:04,253
Carlisle, you're a nut-bird
for trying to can this guy.

407
00:18:04,333 --> 00:18:05,543
But Biedermann's a baby!

408
00:18:05,626 --> 00:18:07,956
-Carlisle!
-A baby.

409
00:18:08,045 --> 00:18:10,415
-You can't see it?
-Pssh. This guy!

410
00:18:10,631 --> 00:18:11,881
Like, he whines a lot?

411
00:18:12,091 --> 00:18:14,051
He's literally an infant.

412
00:18:14,134 --> 00:18:16,554
Less than a toddler, a larval human.

413
00:18:16,637 --> 00:18:18,677
Nut-bird, am I ri-- goo-ga-kai!

414
00:18:18,764 --> 00:18:20,314
-[both grunting]
-Stop it, you two!

415
00:18:25,145 --> 00:18:26,435
I said stop it!

416
00:18:29,691 --> 00:18:32,151
How'd a baby get in here?
Where's Carlisle?

417
00:18:32,236 --> 00:18:33,856
Don't you open that mouth.

418
00:18:34,154 --> 00:18:36,784
Get off me!
McHennessy, let me explain.

419
00:18:36,865 --> 00:18:40,615
-[babbling]
-Well, now you did it.

420
00:18:41,745 --> 00:18:42,575
I'm sorry, I--

421
00:18:42,663 --> 00:18:45,753
McHennessy, we got big problems
at our newest acquisition.

422
00:18:45,833 --> 00:18:47,793
[babbling continues]

423
00:18:47,876 --> 00:18:51,336
-You okay?
-She just started talking like that.

424
00:18:51,421 --> 00:18:54,131
It's as if someone broke her brain.

425
00:18:54,216 --> 00:18:58,676
Well, if she's blown a gasket,
we need an interim CEO, stat.

426
00:18:58,762 --> 00:19:00,102
Got a developing crisis.

427
00:19:00,264 --> 00:19:02,314
Well, as CFO, I'll take the job.

428
00:19:02,391 --> 00:19:05,481
Um, no, I'm COO. I have seniority.

429
00:19:05,644 --> 00:19:08,024
Really, you guys are co-equal heirs
to the throne,

430
00:19:08,105 --> 00:19:11,935
and the company charter is very specific
on how to resolve this.

431
00:19:12,025 --> 00:19:13,105
CFO calls it.

432
00:19:14,027 --> 00:19:14,897
Heads!

433
00:19:16,613 --> 00:19:17,703
Heads it is.

434
00:19:17,781 --> 00:19:19,581
Biedermann, you're the acting CEO

435
00:19:19,658 --> 00:19:22,908
of International Holdings
and Worldwide Investments.

436
00:19:23,704 --> 00:19:27,254
-Get McHennessy to the doc.
-[babbling continues]

437
00:19:27,332 --> 00:19:29,542
-Go, State!
-[all] Go, State!

438
00:19:30,919 --> 00:19:32,379
So, what's the crisis, Garcia?

439
00:19:32,462 --> 00:19:33,552
On your advice, we bought

440
00:19:33,630 --> 00:19:36,090
the very profitable
Flowers Department Stores.

441
00:19:36,175 --> 00:19:38,835
But while we were closing,
a grandmother and her grandson

442
00:19:38,927 --> 00:19:42,967
came in to return a blouse and, somehow,
now the workers want to unionize?

443
00:19:43,056 --> 00:19:46,516
Thank you, Garcia.
Leave me to confer with my COO, please.

444
00:19:47,019 --> 00:19:51,059
Do I get to resign with dignity,
or you gotta humiliate me first?

445
00:19:51,231 --> 00:19:53,571
We're business babies, not animals.

446
00:19:53,650 --> 00:19:55,900
I don't go for the kill
when I've already won.

447
00:19:55,986 --> 00:19:57,646
You can do whatever you want.

448
00:19:58,071 --> 00:19:59,911
"Whatever I want."

449
00:20:00,866 --> 00:20:03,656
That's the most liberating thing
anyone's ever said to me.

450
00:20:03,744 --> 00:20:06,794
You know, when I first ran away
from Baby Corp, Wichita,

451
00:20:06,872 --> 00:20:10,042
I was actually looking
to get into the Chicago blues scene.

452
00:20:10,125 --> 00:20:12,415
But I guess office life
was comfortable, and--

453
00:20:12,502 --> 00:20:13,802
Godspeed, Carlisle.

454
00:20:13,879 --> 00:20:16,469
Honestly, I don't know you
well enough to care.

455
00:20:17,674 --> 00:20:19,094
[harmonica plays]

456
00:20:19,176 --> 00:20:20,966
But... what are you gonna do?

457
00:20:21,386 --> 00:20:24,766
I've got an international conglomerate
in my hands, a city at my feet,

458
00:20:24,848 --> 00:20:27,638
and a labor crisis
about 20 floors downstairs.

459
00:20:27,726 --> 00:20:29,306
What am I gonna do?

460
00:20:29,770 --> 00:20:31,560
I'm gonna go out as a legend.

461
00:20:31,813 --> 00:20:33,023
-What's that?
-[workers] Union!

462
00:20:33,106 --> 00:20:35,276
Okay! Thanks, guy.

463
00:20:35,734 --> 00:20:38,494
The company's letting us have our union!

464
00:20:38,570 --> 00:20:40,360
[cheering]

465
00:20:40,447 --> 00:20:43,487
No!

466
00:20:43,575 --> 00:20:46,865
[sniffs] That's ten seconds
without upchucking at your breath.

467
00:20:46,954 --> 00:20:48,964
Where's my free mouthwash, guy?

468
00:20:49,039 --> 00:20:51,209
They said you get to return your blouse.

469
00:20:51,291 --> 00:20:54,001
Also, I was told to throw in
a free sweater

470
00:20:54,086 --> 00:20:56,706
and this here Italian silk baby suit.

471
00:20:57,631 --> 00:20:59,591
How did they know we had a baby...

472
00:21:00,133 --> 00:21:01,643
-No way!
-[snoring]

473
00:21:01,843 --> 00:21:03,433
Way to stick it to 'em, Timmy!

474
00:21:03,512 --> 00:21:05,812
-Spring break!
-Spring break!

475
00:21:06,265 --> 00:21:07,845
My souvenir dog!

476
00:21:08,225 --> 00:21:09,595
Eh, we'll get you another.

477
00:21:10,185 --> 00:21:13,145
-[inhales, exhales]
-[phone rings]

478
00:21:13,230 --> 00:21:15,270
Interim CEO Biff Biedermann.

479
00:21:15,774 --> 00:21:17,734
And I'm already fired.

480
00:21:18,193 --> 00:21:20,113
Boss Baby, one; Chicago...

481
00:21:20,279 --> 00:21:21,529
also one.

482
00:21:21,613 --> 00:21:23,453
You're a heck of a town.

483
00:21:23,532 --> 00:21:26,292
[blues music playing]

484
00:21:30,289 --> 00:21:32,919
♪ When he came down to Chicago ♪

485
00:21:33,000 --> 00:21:35,040
♪ He was all too small to see ♪

486
00:21:35,127 --> 00:21:37,707
♪ But that shrimp became a legend ♪

487
00:21:37,796 --> 00:21:39,756
♪ And they called that man BB ♪

488
00:21:39,840 --> 00:21:42,840
♪ He was the greatest little CEO ♪

489
00:21:42,926 --> 00:21:45,676
♪ That you ever did see ♪

490
00:21:49,474 --> 00:21:51,854
♪ Oh, he muscled through the boardroom ♪

491
00:21:51,935 --> 00:21:54,055
♪ Filled those fat cat pockets full ♪

492
00:21:54,146 --> 00:21:56,726
♪ He helped the working dogs go union ♪

493
00:21:56,815 --> 00:21:58,935
♪ With just a little push and pull ♪

494
00:21:59,026 --> 00:22:01,856
♪ Oh, it's the legend of ♪

495
00:22:01,945 --> 00:22:06,325
-♪ The legend of BB ♪
-[camera shutter clicking]

496
00:22:06,616 --> 00:22:09,446
[Carlisle] "Take it Carlisle!"
Don't mind if I do.

497
00:22:11,913 --> 00:22:13,423
What a town, Templeton.

498
00:22:13,498 --> 00:22:15,498
I saw a rat with a knife in its mouth!

499
00:22:15,584 --> 00:22:17,504
Spring break!

500
00:22:17,586 --> 00:22:20,836
Gotta say, I feel in tip-top shape
to go back to the office on Monday.

501
00:22:21,006 --> 00:22:24,546
I've even begun formulating
a six-month plan to take Baby Corp

502
00:22:24,634 --> 00:22:27,764
past Yellow 100 and into the stratosphere!

503
00:22:27,846 --> 00:22:28,716
[car door opens]

504
00:22:28,805 --> 00:22:30,805
See you soon, cuddle chubs.

505
00:22:30,891 --> 00:22:32,891
-[engine starts]
-You're a lot cuter than I remember.

506
00:22:33,393 --> 00:22:35,273
Weird he isn't growing, though.

507
00:22:35,604 --> 00:22:36,444
[both gasp]

508
00:22:36,521 --> 00:22:38,861
[Gigi] Probably oughta talk
to a doctor about that.

509
00:22:39,066 --> 00:22:41,396
Anyway, great to see you, kid.

510
00:22:43,361 --> 00:22:45,781
[theme music playing]

511
00:23:05,133 --> 00:23:07,013
♪ Boss Baby ♪