1 00:00:13,471 --> 00:00:15,021 -[boy grunts] -[phone dings] 2 00:00:15,098 --> 00:00:16,558 Hold all my calls. 3 00:00:17,058 --> 00:00:19,768 -[giggling] -[lullaby plays] 4 00:00:19,853 --> 00:00:21,443 ♪ Boss Baby ♪ 5 00:00:21,521 --> 00:00:25,401 ♪ I'm the Boss, Boss Baby, boss, boss Boss Baby, boss, boss ♪ 6 00:00:25,483 --> 00:00:28,033 ♪ Watch a itty-bitty kid get large ♪ 7 00:00:28,111 --> 00:00:30,661 ♪ I'm the big Boss Baby in charge ♪ 8 00:00:30,739 --> 00:00:33,119 ♪ Stroller rolling Up and down the boulevard ♪ 9 00:00:33,491 --> 00:00:35,701 ♪ I'm the big Boss Baby in charge ♪ 10 00:00:36,161 --> 00:00:39,041 ♪ I run this house, I rule this crib ♪ 11 00:00:39,122 --> 00:00:41,582 ♪ Change my diaper, son Where's my bib? ♪ 12 00:00:41,666 --> 00:00:44,376 ♪ Don't pacify You just got to pay me ♪ 13 00:00:44,502 --> 00:00:46,962 -♪ Who's in charge? ♪ -♪ Me, the Boss Baby ♪ 14 00:00:48,047 --> 00:00:48,877 [music playing] 15 00:00:48,965 --> 00:00:50,875 [narrator] Children of War! 16 00:00:50,967 --> 00:00:54,597 Our cowardly corporate enemies attacked while our defenses were down. 17 00:00:54,679 --> 00:00:55,929 Unfair play! 18 00:00:56,014 --> 00:00:57,974 But Baby Corp prepares to fight back 19 00:00:58,057 --> 00:01:01,137 the way babies do-- adorably. 20 00:01:01,936 --> 00:01:04,516 All fours! Crawl! Suck thumb! 21 00:01:05,190 --> 00:01:07,400 [narrator] No battle can be won without resources, 22 00:01:07,484 --> 00:01:10,324 so keep donating those office supplies. 23 00:01:10,445 --> 00:01:12,905 Your sacrifices will be difficult, 24 00:01:12,989 --> 00:01:15,409 but every baby must do their part. 25 00:01:16,284 --> 00:01:19,794 Oh, hi. You've caught me making painful but necessary cuts 26 00:01:19,871 --> 00:01:21,751 to Baby Corp's operating budget. 27 00:01:21,831 --> 00:01:25,131 Remember, a penny saved is a penny closer to victory. 28 00:01:25,210 --> 00:01:27,630 -For Baby Corp! -[Staci] My department can't function! 29 00:01:27,712 --> 00:01:29,512 [voices overlapping] 30 00:01:29,589 --> 00:01:31,589 People, this is for the war effort! 31 00:01:31,674 --> 00:01:34,644 We've never faced three enemies simultaneously before. 32 00:01:34,719 --> 00:01:37,809 We all have to be prepared to make sacrifices. 33 00:01:37,889 --> 00:01:40,139 -Boss is right! -Thank you, Chip. 34 00:01:40,225 --> 00:01:43,265 I've been changing my diaper without using baby wipes. 35 00:01:43,353 --> 00:01:45,153 -[all gasp] -And you should, too! 36 00:01:45,230 --> 00:01:46,560 Everyone, quiet! 37 00:01:46,856 --> 00:01:49,776 This doesn't have to get emotional or unhygienic. 38 00:01:50,527 --> 00:01:53,067 It's a straightforward cost-benefit analysis. 39 00:01:53,154 --> 00:01:54,954 You all have copies of the company budget, 40 00:01:55,031 --> 00:01:57,741 so let's just go through this thing line by line, 41 00:01:57,826 --> 00:01:59,866 calmly and rationally. 42 00:02:00,703 --> 00:02:01,623 [all gasp] 43 00:02:01,830 --> 00:02:03,250 Baby Corp Community Theater? 44 00:02:03,331 --> 00:02:06,081 Egads, that's pricey. Easy cut, right? 45 00:02:06,167 --> 00:02:07,627 Objection, if I may. 46 00:02:07,836 --> 00:02:11,546 The skills I learn on the stage apply directly to my work. 47 00:02:11,840 --> 00:02:12,670 Like? 48 00:02:12,757 --> 00:02:16,337 Acting like I'm cool with something when I'm really very angry. 49 00:02:16,427 --> 00:02:19,847 And as you can see, I could use some serious theater rehearsals right now! 50 00:02:19,931 --> 00:02:21,101 I'm sorry, Hendershot. 51 00:02:21,182 --> 00:02:23,562 Maybe you should cut intramural dodgeball instead. 52 00:02:23,643 --> 00:02:25,563 -Look at those expenses. -[Jimbo] No! 53 00:02:25,645 --> 00:02:27,765 Dodgeball develops important skills like... 54 00:02:28,815 --> 00:02:31,025 throwing and not getting hit by stuff! 55 00:02:31,109 --> 00:02:33,529 And when we win games, we get ice cream! 56 00:02:33,778 --> 00:02:35,198 So sorry, my friend. 57 00:02:35,363 --> 00:02:36,493 [sobs] 58 00:02:36,573 --> 00:02:37,413 [Boss Baby] Wow. Hold on. 59 00:02:37,490 --> 00:02:39,330 [whistles] "Project Boom"? 60 00:02:39,409 --> 00:02:41,909 Costing us an arm and a leg. What do we know about this one? 61 00:02:44,581 --> 00:02:46,921 You should cut it to save dodgeball. 62 00:02:47,000 --> 00:02:48,290 Yeah, I agree with that guy! 63 00:02:48,501 --> 00:02:51,921 So, no one's going to whine to me about cutting Project Boom? 64 00:02:52,881 --> 00:02:53,921 Outstanding! 65 00:02:54,465 --> 00:02:55,465 Make it happen. 66 00:02:57,677 --> 00:02:58,507 [pops] 67 00:02:58,761 --> 00:02:59,601 [pops] 68 00:03:03,182 --> 00:03:04,392 [whizzing] 69 00:03:06,769 --> 00:03:07,649 -[clatters] -Eh...? 70 00:03:14,068 --> 00:03:14,898 [clatters] 71 00:03:14,986 --> 00:03:16,146 [wheels squeaking] 72 00:03:17,447 --> 00:03:18,277 [voice] Finally! 73 00:03:18,531 --> 00:03:19,661 [grunts] 74 00:03:21,159 --> 00:03:21,989 [sighs] 75 00:03:22,076 --> 00:03:25,496 "We thank you for your service, and... Project Boom cancelled"? 76 00:03:25,580 --> 00:03:28,500 What? No! What? Come on! 77 00:03:28,583 --> 00:03:29,963 You serious with this, hoss? 78 00:03:30,043 --> 00:03:32,423 I know it's been a while since my last assignment, but... 79 00:03:32,629 --> 00:03:35,839 It's been a while. You forgot what I can do for the company. 80 00:03:36,049 --> 00:03:39,339 Okay, okay, okay. You just need a reminder of what Project Boom's all about, 81 00:03:39,427 --> 00:03:41,887 and I got a big one I've been holding onto for a moment... 82 00:03:42,263 --> 00:03:44,643 just like this. 83 00:03:45,141 --> 00:03:47,141 [voices overlapping] 84 00:03:50,605 --> 00:03:52,315 [Boom Baby] "Kinderglückseligkeit..." 85 00:03:52,523 --> 00:03:56,153 the finest German engineering money can buy. 86 00:03:59,030 --> 00:04:01,780 But is it really as safe as they say? 87 00:04:03,826 --> 00:04:04,656 -Boom! -[thumps] 88 00:04:04,744 --> 00:04:06,584 -[Baby Boom crying] -[patrons gasping] 89 00:04:07,163 --> 00:04:09,003 Roosevelt! Forks down, we're working! 90 00:04:09,082 --> 00:04:10,002 All right! 91 00:04:10,083 --> 00:04:12,753 Lunch date just got paid for by Channel 8, baby! 92 00:04:14,420 --> 00:04:16,170 You know where to find me. 93 00:04:17,257 --> 00:04:18,717 -[alarm blaring] -[voices yelling] 94 00:04:19,425 --> 00:04:20,675 What happened? Who hit us? 95 00:04:20,760 --> 00:04:22,350 Hang on. Calling it up! 96 00:04:22,595 --> 00:04:23,755 ...touted by its makers 97 00:04:23,846 --> 00:04:27,056 as "The safest chair for baby-sized objects." 98 00:04:27,141 --> 00:04:30,271 But is the Kinderglückseligkeit safe for babies? 99 00:04:30,561 --> 00:04:32,361 Take back those filthy words. 100 00:04:32,563 --> 00:04:35,193 We're not ruling out the table as a suspect, 101 00:04:35,275 --> 00:04:39,445 but if it is the chair, that thing's getting recalled. 102 00:04:39,696 --> 00:04:42,946 [gasps] You can't take away our Kinderglückseligkeits! 103 00:04:43,032 --> 00:04:45,412 Where is a baby supposed to sit for a restaurant meal? 104 00:04:45,493 --> 00:04:47,083 Uh, parents' laps? 105 00:04:47,161 --> 00:04:48,501 What are we, napkins? 106 00:04:48,705 --> 00:04:50,705 Parental anxiety levels are through the roof, Beebs! 107 00:04:50,999 --> 00:04:54,209 This is the worst thing to happen since somebody cancelled dodgeball! 108 00:04:54,294 --> 00:04:56,964 -Are we really doing this right now? -I don't wanna talk about it! 109 00:04:57,297 --> 00:04:59,127 This was no accident. 110 00:04:59,215 --> 00:05:03,295 Which of our enemies is capable of such a well-coordinated attack on baby love? 111 00:05:03,386 --> 00:05:06,466 -I need actionable intelligence! -[gasps] Boss? 112 00:05:06,723 --> 00:05:09,313 I think we have an eyewitness. 113 00:05:10,727 --> 00:05:11,557 [giggles] 114 00:05:11,644 --> 00:05:14,024 Yes, I am a baby in a suit. 115 00:05:14,105 --> 00:05:16,935 It's very comical. Now, come on, you know me! 116 00:05:17,025 --> 00:05:18,685 [Staci] Maybe he doesn't anymore. 117 00:05:18,776 --> 00:05:22,236 He's been retired as a normal baby for a long time. 118 00:05:22,322 --> 00:05:25,162 Who knows what he remembers about Baby Corp? 119 00:05:25,241 --> 00:05:26,871 Maybe we should just leave him alone. 120 00:05:27,118 --> 00:05:28,578 It's just conversation. 121 00:05:28,661 --> 00:05:30,581 Hey, there, little prince. 122 00:05:30,663 --> 00:05:33,123 Can you tell me what happened at the restaurant today? 123 00:05:33,207 --> 00:05:34,167 -[babbles] -[clatters] 124 00:05:34,250 --> 00:05:37,670 -Yes, baby did fall down and go boom-boom. -[giggles] 125 00:05:37,754 --> 00:05:42,264 Now, which of these silly willies helped baby go boom-boom? 126 00:05:42,592 --> 00:05:44,642 [babbles] 127 00:05:44,719 --> 00:05:48,219 We know "baby fell go boom-boom." Who else was at the num-num place? 128 00:05:48,639 --> 00:05:51,019 Bark-barks? Baa-baa? Consult- consult? 129 00:05:51,434 --> 00:05:54,024 I get it. You didn't ask to be a witness. 130 00:05:54,187 --> 00:05:55,437 Did they threaten you? 131 00:05:55,521 --> 00:05:58,941 Because I promise, no matter what they said they'd do... 132 00:05:59,025 --> 00:06:00,275 [growls] I can do worse. 133 00:06:00,359 --> 00:06:01,399 Nope, nope, too scary. 134 00:06:01,486 --> 00:06:03,446 Dial it back, dial it back. 135 00:06:03,529 --> 00:06:05,279 -[Mega Fat babbling] -[Jimbo] Uh, Boss? 136 00:06:05,573 --> 00:06:07,243 [babbles] 137 00:06:09,202 --> 00:06:12,292 "Project Boom BFFs for life. 138 00:06:12,371 --> 00:06:14,331 No take-backsies"? 139 00:06:15,416 --> 00:06:16,246 [Boss Baby gasps] 140 00:06:16,834 --> 00:06:18,044 -[giggles] -[blocks clatter] 141 00:06:18,586 --> 00:06:20,296 Hendershot, hit the company archives. 142 00:06:20,379 --> 00:06:23,009 Gather everything Mega Fat had on Project Boom. 143 00:06:23,091 --> 00:06:25,431 I want a full briefing the minute I hit the office! 144 00:06:27,261 --> 00:06:29,971 "Boom Baby: Born to Boom"? 145 00:06:30,056 --> 00:06:32,136 Since you cut Baby Corp Community Theater, 146 00:06:32,225 --> 00:06:34,305 we've got no outlet to showcase our talents. 147 00:06:34,811 --> 00:06:36,731 Dodgeball feels you. 148 00:06:36,896 --> 00:06:39,106 -I don't wanna talk about it! -[moans] 149 00:06:39,273 --> 00:06:41,733 Really just need a file folder with some bullet points and-- 150 00:06:41,818 --> 00:06:43,358 No talking during the performance. 151 00:06:44,570 --> 00:06:45,450 [music playing] 152 00:06:45,863 --> 00:06:50,543 Hi! I'm Boom Baby, and I have a special talent! 153 00:06:50,618 --> 00:06:52,368 Whoops! Agh! 154 00:06:52,578 --> 00:06:55,158 I'm falling down an entire flight of stairs, 155 00:06:55,248 --> 00:06:58,128 but it doesn't really bother me because my special talent 156 00:06:58,209 --> 00:07:02,459 is an incredibly high tolerance for pain! 157 00:07:02,547 --> 00:07:05,087 I'm Mega Fat CEO Baby. 158 00:07:05,174 --> 00:07:08,144 I know just how to use your special talent! 159 00:07:08,219 --> 00:07:11,219 I call it "Project Boom." 160 00:07:12,348 --> 00:07:14,678 I am the passage of time. 161 00:07:15,351 --> 00:07:18,151 I will slide down this playground slide. 162 00:07:18,229 --> 00:07:19,359 Too hot! 163 00:07:19,439 --> 00:07:21,569 [mock sobbing] Wah-hh! 164 00:07:21,649 --> 00:07:22,689 I'm a parent. 165 00:07:22,775 --> 00:07:25,695 Let's put a shade over this slide to prevent burned heinies! 166 00:07:26,070 --> 00:07:28,490 This trike's too wobbly! 167 00:07:29,115 --> 00:07:30,575 Wah-hh! 168 00:07:30,658 --> 00:07:32,658 Let's bring it in for a refund! 169 00:07:32,827 --> 00:07:34,287 I'm also a parent. 170 00:07:35,329 --> 00:07:36,999 This is a cactus. 171 00:07:37,081 --> 00:07:40,331 -[thumps] -Ow! Who put a cactus here? 172 00:07:40,418 --> 00:07:42,498 Wah-hh! 173 00:07:43,212 --> 00:07:46,382 I'm the President of Volcano Taming at the space circus! 174 00:07:46,466 --> 00:07:48,886 I can't remember my lines or who my character is, 175 00:07:48,968 --> 00:07:51,098 but I do know I should move this cactus. 176 00:07:51,637 --> 00:07:52,927 You're sure about all this? 177 00:07:53,014 --> 00:07:55,104 It's all straight from Mega Fat's old voice memos. 178 00:07:55,183 --> 00:07:56,683 Dude really loved to hear himself talk. 179 00:07:56,767 --> 00:07:59,097 There's, like, five hours of him just working on lyrics 180 00:07:59,187 --> 00:08:00,767 for the "Ha Ha You're Fired" song. 181 00:08:00,855 --> 00:08:03,605 Hee-hee-ha-ho, you're-- No, no, I can beat that. 182 00:08:03,941 --> 00:08:05,741 Take a baby who doesn't get hurt easily, 183 00:08:05,818 --> 00:08:08,608 use him to expose all the dangerous flaws in baby products. 184 00:08:08,696 --> 00:08:10,906 Hmm. It's actually not a bad idea. 185 00:08:10,990 --> 00:08:14,200 Even a broken European clock is right once a day. 186 00:08:14,285 --> 00:08:16,695 But who told Boom Baby to go after that high chair? 187 00:08:16,954 --> 00:08:18,414 Nobody. 188 00:08:18,498 --> 00:08:21,168 I mean, I'm going improv here, but... 189 00:08:21,417 --> 00:08:22,587 [inhales] 190 00:08:22,668 --> 00:08:23,588 I'm Boom Baby! 191 00:08:23,669 --> 00:08:26,299 I haven't heard from Baby Corp since Mega Fat got fired 192 00:08:26,380 --> 00:08:28,170 and everybody forgot about me! 193 00:08:28,633 --> 00:08:31,053 Wait. What's this letter? 194 00:08:31,135 --> 00:08:33,845 Project Boom is cancelled? 195 00:08:33,930 --> 00:08:35,260 Not if I can help it. 196 00:08:35,348 --> 00:08:38,058 Maybe I'll just make my own baby-proofing projects. 197 00:08:38,434 --> 00:08:42,024 [gasps] He's gone rogue! We need to stop this ASAP. 198 00:08:42,104 --> 00:08:43,654 I want a meeting, in person. 199 00:08:43,731 --> 00:08:46,231 Somebody get a message to Boom. 200 00:08:48,277 --> 00:08:49,567 -[clatters] -[stammers, gasps] 201 00:08:49,904 --> 00:08:51,414 [toddler babbling] 202 00:08:52,490 --> 00:08:53,950 No sign of him, Boss. 203 00:08:54,033 --> 00:08:55,493 He could be plotting an ambush. 204 00:08:55,576 --> 00:08:58,656 We need an emergency code phrase in case things get hairy-- 205 00:08:58,746 --> 00:09:00,156 something we can all remember. 206 00:09:00,248 --> 00:09:02,668 I remember dodgeball. Don't wanna talk about it. 207 00:09:02,750 --> 00:09:06,000 Ooh, how about, "Wow, I can't believe this is going so well"? 208 00:09:06,170 --> 00:09:07,380 Copy that, Boss. 209 00:09:07,463 --> 00:09:09,973 Come on, big guy, help me scout the perimeter. 210 00:09:11,050 --> 00:09:14,100 All right, where are you hiding? 211 00:09:14,387 --> 00:09:17,137 Ah-hh! Whew. My back needed this. 212 00:09:18,724 --> 00:09:19,984 Boom Baby? 213 00:09:22,520 --> 00:09:25,570 You're right, it's not a social call. Let's talk business. 214 00:09:26,148 --> 00:09:28,608 So, I'm un-cancelled? 215 00:09:29,026 --> 00:09:30,106 Is that what this is about? 216 00:09:30,194 --> 00:09:32,864 You just torpedoed the world's safest high chair. 217 00:09:32,947 --> 00:09:34,657 Not exactly winning Baby Corp over. 218 00:09:34,824 --> 00:09:36,664 It was too high for a chair. 219 00:09:36,742 --> 00:09:38,832 It's a high chair! [moans] 220 00:09:38,911 --> 00:09:41,541 Look, your former service is appreciated, 221 00:09:41,622 --> 00:09:43,422 but it's time to stand down. 222 00:09:43,499 --> 00:09:46,589 Baby Corp's at war. We don't need another distraction. 223 00:09:46,669 --> 00:09:49,459 And frankly, we have test dummies in the R&D lab 224 00:09:49,547 --> 00:09:52,377 that can do this job without making a public scene. 225 00:09:52,466 --> 00:09:54,426 You can't cancel me, cubicle boy. 226 00:09:54,510 --> 00:09:55,850 I want to talk to the CEO. 227 00:09:55,928 --> 00:09:58,428 Mega Fat's a friend. He'll take the meeting. 228 00:09:58,973 --> 00:10:00,353 [chuckles] Of course! 229 00:10:00,433 --> 00:10:03,143 Oh, Boom Baby, this is all a huge misunderstanding. 230 00:10:03,227 --> 00:10:05,727 You've been out in the field so long, you don't even know. 231 00:10:06,063 --> 00:10:08,273 I'm the CEO. Boss Baby. 232 00:10:08,357 --> 00:10:11,777 So, yes, I do have the authority to cancel Project Boom, 233 00:10:11,861 --> 00:10:15,451 but we'd love to find you some alternative position within the comp-- 234 00:10:15,531 --> 00:10:18,081 -Where are you going? -Ha! I knew you weren't Baby Corp. 235 00:10:18,326 --> 00:10:20,786 A handshake? That's for dogs. 236 00:10:20,870 --> 00:10:22,370 Is that who you're working for? 237 00:10:22,455 --> 00:10:24,325 PuppyCo trying to shut down my work? 238 00:10:24,415 --> 00:10:26,285 Am I the only true Baby Corper left? 239 00:10:26,375 --> 00:10:28,455 [yells] Wow, I can't believe this is going so well! 240 00:10:28,544 --> 00:10:30,054 -[screams] -Huh...? 241 00:10:31,005 --> 00:10:32,715 You're coming back to Baby Corp. 242 00:10:32,965 --> 00:10:36,175 Let the airplane land! 243 00:10:36,260 --> 00:10:38,220 [Jimbo] Suck, suck, suck, suck, suck, suck, suck, suck! 244 00:10:39,138 --> 00:10:40,008 [grunts] 245 00:10:40,097 --> 00:10:42,217 Nice try, but I'm used to spitting out stuff 246 00:10:42,308 --> 00:10:43,808 babies shouldn't have eaten. 247 00:10:43,893 --> 00:10:47,613 You thought a conspiracy of fakers could stop me making this world safe for babies? 248 00:10:47,938 --> 00:10:50,978 All you did was unleash me. 249 00:10:51,067 --> 00:10:52,027 [gasps] 250 00:10:53,569 --> 00:10:54,449 [clatters] 251 00:10:54,737 --> 00:10:56,157 Agh! [yelps] 252 00:10:56,489 --> 00:10:59,029 -Boom, please listen. -That's gonna be hard. 253 00:10:59,116 --> 00:11:02,116 This place is about to get loud. 254 00:11:03,079 --> 00:11:05,539 -[squeals] -[moans] 255 00:11:05,623 --> 00:11:07,213 -[babies wailing] -Do they look safer to you? 256 00:11:07,291 --> 00:11:10,541 They will be, now that I got their attention. 257 00:11:10,628 --> 00:11:11,798 [mother] Oh, sweetie! 258 00:11:11,879 --> 00:11:13,589 [voices overlapping] 259 00:11:14,799 --> 00:11:15,629 No, no, no, no, no! 260 00:11:20,596 --> 00:11:21,426 Boom! 261 00:11:22,848 --> 00:11:24,228 He's good. 262 00:11:24,308 --> 00:11:25,518 This is bad. 263 00:11:25,601 --> 00:11:29,361 [Marsha] What was once a safe haven for mommies to read romance novels 264 00:11:29,438 --> 00:11:31,728 is now shut down and exposed 265 00:11:31,816 --> 00:11:34,026 as a hotbed of baby contusions. 266 00:11:34,610 --> 00:11:37,780 [groans] Another bastion of parental comfort gone belly-up! 267 00:11:37,863 --> 00:11:39,243 What does Boom Baby want? 268 00:11:39,323 --> 00:11:42,493 A world where parents have their babies strapped to them 24-7? 269 00:11:42,576 --> 00:11:44,446 I mean, yeah, probably. 270 00:11:44,537 --> 00:11:46,327 If Boom keeps stressing out parents like this, 271 00:11:46,414 --> 00:11:49,964 we won't have to worry about war with Pyg & Tam, OCB, or PuppyCo. 272 00:11:50,042 --> 00:11:52,002 We won't have any baby love left to lose! 273 00:11:52,086 --> 00:11:55,916 We have to stop him, the way Boss stopped our dodgeball team! 274 00:11:56,048 --> 00:11:57,628 You are really hung up on the dodgeb-- 275 00:11:57,716 --> 00:12:01,046 -I said I don't wanna talk about it! -Jimbo, if you won't even talk to me-- 276 00:12:02,471 --> 00:12:04,641 I know who Boom Baby will talk to! 277 00:12:04,723 --> 00:12:09,103 And how are we getting Mega Fat Normal Retired Baby to play along? 278 00:12:09,186 --> 00:12:11,726 I'm on it. Just get a fix on Boom Baby's location. 279 00:12:11,814 --> 00:12:13,694 And somebody track down my brother! 280 00:12:14,024 --> 00:12:16,694 [laughing] 281 00:12:17,903 --> 00:12:19,283 [Danny] Oh, I love playing 282 00:12:19,363 --> 00:12:21,783 "Think About If Dinosaurs Had Longer Arms Than Legs." 283 00:12:22,616 --> 00:12:25,866 We should turn it into a game show! We'd be so rich and famous! 284 00:12:25,953 --> 00:12:29,673 Eh, I can go for rich, but probably gotta hold off on getting famous. 285 00:12:29,748 --> 00:12:32,878 My dad was worried enough that time you and me got on the TV news. 286 00:12:32,960 --> 00:12:34,670 -[Tim grunts] -The government watches all the channels, 287 00:12:34,753 --> 00:12:38,013 even the half-channels they can't tell you about in TV school. 288 00:12:39,675 --> 00:12:41,835 Templeton, does the house only have chunky? 289 00:12:41,927 --> 00:12:42,757 Chunky what? 290 00:12:42,845 --> 00:12:44,385 Still working on the settings. 291 00:12:44,472 --> 00:12:46,642 -Is Mega Fat left-handed or-- -Right! 292 00:12:46,724 --> 00:12:48,934 -Right, chunky what? -Listen faster! 293 00:12:49,185 --> 00:12:50,385 -You got it, Boss! -On it! 294 00:12:50,603 --> 00:12:53,063 Listen faster to what? Can I hang up now? 295 00:12:53,230 --> 00:12:55,110 Of course not. This won't work if we don't have you. 296 00:12:55,191 --> 00:12:57,071 These are the coolest glasses I could find. 297 00:12:57,151 --> 00:12:59,951 -Smooth. -We get it, you look cool for a baby. 298 00:13:00,029 --> 00:13:02,739 -No, I need smooth. -We have eyes on Boom! 299 00:13:02,823 --> 00:13:06,413 Just get to the town square. Bring straws and smooth peanut butter! 300 00:13:06,827 --> 00:13:07,697 I gotta go. 301 00:13:07,870 --> 00:13:10,710 What about "Think About If Dinosaurs Had Bigger Arms Than Legs"? 302 00:13:10,789 --> 00:13:13,999 -Play it one-player! -But it doesn't work one-player! 303 00:13:15,127 --> 00:13:16,417 [laughs] 304 00:13:16,504 --> 00:13:18,514 Oh, wait. Yeah, it does. [laughing] 305 00:13:19,256 --> 00:13:23,046 [Baby Boom] All these people, walking around like their babies are safe 306 00:13:23,135 --> 00:13:26,305 when every corner is sharp, every quarter shiny enough to eat. 307 00:13:26,388 --> 00:13:27,598 But we're gonna show them, chief. 308 00:13:27,806 --> 00:13:30,636 After today, it won't matter if they shut down Project Boom. 309 00:13:30,726 --> 00:13:32,936 Today, baby safety takes a flying leap into-- 310 00:13:33,020 --> 00:13:33,850 [voice] Hello? 311 00:13:35,272 --> 00:13:37,862 It's me. Nice to see... you. 312 00:13:38,400 --> 00:13:40,610 [gasps] Mega Fat CEO Baby! 313 00:13:40,903 --> 00:13:43,363 I really don't think we should have involved him. 314 00:13:43,447 --> 00:13:46,737 There's zero danger. Boom Baby idolizes Mega Fat. 315 00:13:46,825 --> 00:13:49,445 And that's why Mega Fat's the only one who can fire him. 316 00:13:49,787 --> 00:13:53,747 I knew if I just kept doing my job the way you told me, you'd come around. 317 00:13:53,832 --> 00:13:55,632 Very good. So nice to see you. 318 00:13:55,709 --> 00:13:58,299 Been a long time. I love chocolate pudding. 319 00:13:58,587 --> 00:13:59,457 What was that? 320 00:14:00,506 --> 00:14:03,876 Oopsie! We mislabeled some of the clips from Mega Fat's voice diary. 321 00:14:03,968 --> 00:14:05,178 We can fix it! Easy! 322 00:14:05,261 --> 00:14:08,311 So easy, I can fix it with my butt! [clicking] 323 00:14:08,597 --> 00:14:11,597 Secrets. Yes! Way to go! 324 00:14:12,017 --> 00:14:14,097 Code phrase. [clicks tongue] I get it. 325 00:14:14,186 --> 00:14:16,436 I also like "pudding." 326 00:14:18,232 --> 00:14:20,572 -[gasps] I didn't rig him for handshakes! -[recording] Up high! 327 00:14:20,651 --> 00:14:23,321 -That's a good thing. Watch. -But not really. I'm important and busy. 328 00:14:23,404 --> 00:14:25,034 Very unprofessional. 329 00:14:25,239 --> 00:14:29,199 Nice. You of anyone would know handshakes are for dogs, sir. 330 00:14:29,451 --> 00:14:31,951 My dogs are barking. Shake on it. 331 00:14:32,204 --> 00:14:33,834 [recording] Never with me, I say. 332 00:14:33,914 --> 00:14:35,834 [Boom Baby] Tell me about it. Can't be too careful, though. 333 00:14:36,083 --> 00:14:39,213 There's a rogue pack of Baby Corp fakers trying to shut me down. 334 00:14:39,295 --> 00:14:40,915 Unreal! Baby Corp? 335 00:14:41,005 --> 00:14:43,335 "Don't pretend with me," I said. I stopped them. 336 00:14:43,424 --> 00:14:44,844 You stopped them? [laughs] 337 00:14:44,925 --> 00:14:47,295 So, we're safe! Good! 338 00:14:47,386 --> 00:14:49,636 'Cause what I've prepared here, it's gonna-- 339 00:14:49,722 --> 00:14:51,142 -[babbling] -Sir? 340 00:14:51,223 --> 00:14:53,563 [gasps] He's starting to talk for himself! 341 00:14:53,642 --> 00:14:55,982 Keep that mouth busy! Peanut butter's running low! 342 00:14:56,270 --> 00:14:57,150 [Tim] On it. 343 00:14:59,273 --> 00:15:00,113 [inhales, puffs] 344 00:15:02,192 --> 00:15:03,442 [babbling] 345 00:15:04,361 --> 00:15:05,451 [smacking] 346 00:15:05,738 --> 00:15:07,988 Shake the chair. Give me some head nodding. 347 00:15:08,073 --> 00:15:08,913 [knuckles crackle] 348 00:15:09,742 --> 00:15:12,292 I love it when we share memories. Love you, big guy! 349 00:15:12,536 --> 00:15:15,746 Aha! I see, yes. I hear that. 350 00:15:16,123 --> 00:15:17,713 You've always been a great listener. 351 00:15:17,958 --> 00:15:20,208 Move to phase two. Let him down easy. 352 00:15:20,294 --> 00:15:23,094 Approaching to gentle, friendly proximity. 353 00:15:23,172 --> 00:15:24,972 Good news: good job! 354 00:15:25,049 --> 00:15:26,969 I knew you'd be behind me on this. 355 00:15:27,176 --> 00:15:29,716 Bad news? Ho-ho ho-ho, you're fired! 356 00:15:29,970 --> 00:15:31,260 [laughing] 357 00:15:31,388 --> 00:15:32,848 That's a funny joke, old pal! 358 00:15:32,932 --> 00:15:34,482 Now, come on, let's trigger this. 359 00:15:34,558 --> 00:15:36,138 [recording] No joking. 360 00:15:36,560 --> 00:15:37,980 Hoo, hoo, hoo, hoo. Ach! 361 00:15:38,062 --> 00:15:39,862 He's maybe...? Hoo, hoo? 362 00:15:39,939 --> 00:15:41,689 Ha, ha, ha, ha. You're fired! 363 00:15:41,774 --> 00:15:43,864 Oh, yes! That is the one! 364 00:15:43,943 --> 00:15:46,573 Score it for me, Mega Fat CEO Baby! 365 00:15:46,862 --> 00:15:48,862 Whoa... so... 366 00:15:49,323 --> 00:15:50,373 this is really happening? 367 00:15:50,658 --> 00:15:52,448 Yes, cowboy in the saddle. 368 00:15:52,618 --> 00:15:55,078 Some luxurious inflatables. Night-night! 369 00:15:55,162 --> 00:15:56,872 -You're the boss. -Yes! 370 00:15:57,414 --> 00:15:58,424 [sighs] 371 00:15:58,999 --> 00:16:00,749 Guess this is the last mission, then. 372 00:16:01,585 --> 00:16:03,705 No! What? He's fired now! Tell him-- 373 00:16:03,796 --> 00:16:06,506 Project Boom could never keep up with all the dangers out there. 374 00:16:06,590 --> 00:16:09,680 But that's exactly the solution-- out there. 375 00:16:09,760 --> 00:16:11,470 We just gotta show all the mommies and daddies 376 00:16:11,553 --> 00:16:14,353 how unsafe it is to ever bring their babies outside! 377 00:16:14,431 --> 00:16:16,981 [Boom Baby] I've booby-trapped the entire town square 378 00:16:17,059 --> 00:16:18,689 -with everyday outdoor dangers. -[crying] 379 00:16:18,852 --> 00:16:20,522 -And I'm gonna hit every one! -Ow! 380 00:16:20,688 --> 00:16:22,308 I will cry hard. 381 00:16:22,564 --> 00:16:24,654 Parents will be horrified. -[wailing] 382 00:16:24,733 --> 00:16:26,443 And when the talcum powder settles, 383 00:16:26,527 --> 00:16:28,897 people are gonna swaddle their babies in bubble wrap 384 00:16:28,988 --> 00:16:31,908 and never, ever leave the house again! 385 00:16:32,408 --> 00:16:34,538 -[all gasp] -[man] I found it attached to my doorknob. 386 00:16:34,618 --> 00:16:36,448 -[man 2] Yeah! -All right! 387 00:16:36,537 --> 00:16:38,037 Here come our guests. 388 00:16:38,288 --> 00:16:41,288 Are you guys here for the free safety demonstration from Project Boom? 389 00:16:41,375 --> 00:16:43,245 -Oh, of course! We love safety. -[man 3] Yeah! 390 00:16:43,335 --> 00:16:45,915 We need to get Boom to abort this mission, now! 391 00:16:46,005 --> 00:16:47,715 Tim, keep that peanut butter coming. 392 00:16:48,424 --> 00:16:49,344 [inhales] 393 00:16:49,591 --> 00:16:51,931 -Triplets? -Engage, my brothers! 394 00:16:52,177 --> 00:16:53,177 [giggles] 395 00:16:53,262 --> 00:16:56,472 [recording] Tasty readily abject ridicule in as much as dirigible. 396 00:16:56,557 --> 00:16:57,807 Mega Fat? 397 00:16:58,225 --> 00:17:00,185 We're under fire! Get down! 398 00:17:00,436 --> 00:17:01,516 [giggles, murmurs] 399 00:17:01,812 --> 00:17:02,732 Hit him again! 400 00:17:03,939 --> 00:17:05,069 [inhales, coughs] 401 00:17:05,149 --> 00:17:06,649 It went down the wrong pipe! Ulp! 402 00:17:08,652 --> 00:17:09,492 [Mega Fat squeals] 403 00:17:09,653 --> 00:17:10,953 [giggling] 404 00:17:12,531 --> 00:17:13,491 [sniffing] 405 00:17:13,657 --> 00:17:14,737 [Boom Baby] Peanut butter? 406 00:17:16,452 --> 00:17:18,502 [babbling] 407 00:17:18,746 --> 00:17:21,286 -What? -Simmons, get him out of there! 408 00:17:21,373 --> 00:17:23,083 All thrusters to double left! 409 00:17:23,459 --> 00:17:26,089 -[whirring] -[Mega Fat squeals] 410 00:17:26,295 --> 00:17:27,125 [Boss Baby] Ugh! 411 00:17:27,588 --> 00:17:29,128 -[triplets] Whoa! -[thumps] 412 00:17:29,798 --> 00:17:33,678 -[wails] What did they do to you? -[Boss Baby] Stand down, Boom. 413 00:17:33,761 --> 00:17:35,511 Mega Fat wouldn't want this to happen. 414 00:17:35,721 --> 00:17:38,891 You think a faker like you knows Mega Fat better than me? 415 00:17:38,974 --> 00:17:42,024 We had matching tattoos that he was always too busy to show me! 416 00:17:42,102 --> 00:17:43,692 He's changed since you knew him. 417 00:17:43,771 --> 00:17:46,021 He has a mother now. Marsha Krinkle. 418 00:17:46,315 --> 00:17:48,685 The TV reporter! 419 00:17:48,776 --> 00:17:50,396 You're a celebrity baby? 420 00:17:50,694 --> 00:17:52,204 [Boom Baby] That changes everything! 421 00:17:52,279 --> 00:17:54,659 It should be you having all these outside accidents. 422 00:17:54,865 --> 00:17:57,075 People will pay way more attention! 423 00:17:57,367 --> 00:17:58,237 What? No! 424 00:17:58,327 --> 00:18:00,697 Baby want a blocky-block? 425 00:18:00,871 --> 00:18:02,211 [murmurs, giggles] 426 00:18:02,581 --> 00:18:05,711 -I always put the fastener on the cap. -Safety is very important to me. 427 00:18:06,043 --> 00:18:08,303 -What? -Staci, distract the parents. 428 00:18:08,378 --> 00:18:09,878 I'll stop Mega Fat from... 429 00:18:09,963 --> 00:18:12,593 crawling into a pile of sharp, pokey jacks? 430 00:18:12,674 --> 00:18:14,264 This Boom Baby is sick! 431 00:18:14,343 --> 00:18:15,933 Mega Fat, stop! 432 00:18:16,011 --> 00:18:17,551 [Mega Fat babbling] 433 00:18:19,640 --> 00:18:21,680 Boom, let's talk about this. Oop! 434 00:18:22,559 --> 00:18:23,479 Nah. 435 00:18:24,394 --> 00:18:25,274 [squeals] 436 00:18:26,396 --> 00:18:27,766 [faint whipping] 437 00:18:29,066 --> 00:18:30,396 [babbling] 438 00:18:30,901 --> 00:18:32,691 -Mega Fat, look out! Agh! -[others gasp] 439 00:18:33,529 --> 00:18:35,489 [Jimbo whimpers, yelps] 440 00:18:35,823 --> 00:18:37,833 [screaming] Ugh! 441 00:18:38,242 --> 00:18:39,582 Oh, my gosh! Baby, are you okay? 442 00:18:39,660 --> 00:18:40,790 [squealing, giggling] 443 00:18:40,869 --> 00:18:42,789 -Come on, let's get you to your-- -[Boom Baby] Yoo-hoo! 444 00:18:45,374 --> 00:18:47,544 -Mm! -[grunts] We can get you... 445 00:18:47,626 --> 00:18:49,416 [groaning] so many more blocks! 446 00:18:49,503 --> 00:18:50,343 Ulp! 447 00:18:50,796 --> 00:18:51,626 Oh-hh! 448 00:18:52,172 --> 00:18:53,172 Oop! [gasps] 449 00:18:54,591 --> 00:18:55,551 [thumping] 450 00:18:57,803 --> 00:19:00,813 Oh, come on! How is this a realistic danger scenario? 451 00:19:00,889 --> 00:19:03,559 What if a baby wandered into a food fight? 452 00:19:03,642 --> 00:19:06,652 -It could happen-- outside. -[Mega Fat babbling] 453 00:19:06,854 --> 00:19:08,864 Ouch! Ooh, coconut! 454 00:19:08,939 --> 00:19:10,689 Turn those things off! Agh! 455 00:19:11,859 --> 00:19:13,319 [Boom Baby] Land sakes! 456 00:19:13,527 --> 00:19:17,607 Everything outside is so terribly unsafe! 457 00:19:19,283 --> 00:19:20,743 Why isn't anyone looking? 458 00:19:20,826 --> 00:19:21,866 [bell jingles] 459 00:19:22,161 --> 00:19:23,831 Safety baby is right. 460 00:19:23,912 --> 00:19:25,872 We should remember to put a helmet on our kids 461 00:19:25,956 --> 00:19:27,956 before they get on a trike. 462 00:19:28,542 --> 00:19:29,502 -Ha-hah! -Oh! 463 00:19:29,585 --> 00:19:31,085 [both grunting] 464 00:19:31,420 --> 00:19:32,340 Ah-hh! 465 00:19:33,172 --> 00:19:34,632 [both grunting] 466 00:19:35,299 --> 00:19:36,339 [gasps] 467 00:19:37,759 --> 00:19:40,469 -[both grunting] -Didn't anyone teach you to share? 468 00:19:40,721 --> 00:19:42,221 [giggles] 469 00:19:42,639 --> 00:19:44,769 Sure, they did. Your turn. 470 00:19:44,933 --> 00:19:47,563 -Take the shot, Jimbo! -[grunts] 471 00:19:48,562 --> 00:19:49,562 [tires screech] 472 00:19:53,233 --> 00:19:54,823 Well, I'm sorry! 473 00:19:54,902 --> 00:19:57,652 But this is what happens when you cut dodgeball! 474 00:19:57,738 --> 00:19:59,318 Now we're talking about this?! 475 00:19:59,406 --> 00:20:00,986 We have to save Mega Fat-- oof! 476 00:20:01,074 --> 00:20:04,544 Oh, look who suddenly cares about Mega Fat! 477 00:20:04,620 --> 00:20:08,460 Because I'm pretty sure he was a happy, retired regular baby 478 00:20:08,540 --> 00:20:10,670 before you threw him into this mess! 479 00:20:11,126 --> 00:20:11,956 [bangs] 480 00:20:12,419 --> 00:20:14,759 So, we're not talking about dodgeball? 481 00:20:15,047 --> 00:20:17,507 You make these big, important decisions... 482 00:20:17,674 --> 00:20:18,514 [banging] 483 00:20:18,967 --> 00:20:20,337 and it's like you don't even think about 484 00:20:20,427 --> 00:20:22,967 how it's going to affect anybody but yourself! 485 00:20:23,055 --> 00:20:25,385 That's just... poop! 486 00:20:25,766 --> 00:20:26,596 [thumps] 487 00:20:31,188 --> 00:20:32,108 You're right. 488 00:20:32,981 --> 00:20:35,281 I told myself I was doing this for the good of babies. 489 00:20:35,692 --> 00:20:38,112 Oh. I was actually talking to Boss-- ulp! 490 00:20:38,904 --> 00:20:40,664 Maybe I even meant it. 491 00:20:40,739 --> 00:20:43,699 But when you really think about the babies you care for-- 492 00:20:43,784 --> 00:20:45,794 Mega Fat, don't! 493 00:20:46,495 --> 00:20:47,695 [thumping] 494 00:20:48,080 --> 00:20:49,330 -[Jimbo] No! -[Boss Baby] Wait! 495 00:20:51,333 --> 00:20:53,173 [distorted] No-oo! 496 00:20:53,794 --> 00:20:54,714 [grunts] 497 00:20:55,128 --> 00:20:57,508 -[coos] -[Marsha] There's my chubster! 498 00:20:57,798 --> 00:21:02,548 Nothing like a beautiful, safe day in the great outdoors, huh, Chubby Lovey? 499 00:21:03,637 --> 00:21:06,137 -Nice dodging back there. -Thank you. 500 00:21:06,223 --> 00:21:10,023 Technically, this means we won the game, so... um... 501 00:21:10,102 --> 00:21:12,102 Yes, I'll buy you ice cream. 502 00:21:12,187 --> 00:21:13,557 -Yeah! -[groans] 503 00:21:13,647 --> 00:21:14,557 [Jimbo giggling] 504 00:21:15,107 --> 00:21:16,567 [inhales] 505 00:21:17,025 --> 00:21:18,525 Sorry, new boss. 506 00:21:18,694 --> 00:21:22,244 I guess the biggest threat to baby safety was... me. 507 00:21:22,447 --> 00:21:25,737 You kidding? You're the most dedicated safety baby I've ever met. 508 00:21:26,118 --> 00:21:27,828 We could use your experience. 509 00:21:27,911 --> 00:21:31,501 Appreciate that, but a baby's gotta know when it's time to clock out. 510 00:21:31,873 --> 00:21:35,133 -I'm ready for retirement. -If that's what you want. 511 00:21:35,544 --> 00:21:37,174 Just one last favor? 512 00:21:37,713 --> 00:21:38,553 [squeaks] 513 00:21:39,506 --> 00:21:41,796 These test dummies are amazing! 514 00:21:41,883 --> 00:21:43,263 How much heat can they withstand? 515 00:21:43,760 --> 00:21:47,600 -[bangs] -Anything from sunburns to the actual sun. 516 00:21:47,806 --> 00:21:48,966 What do they eat? 517 00:21:49,433 --> 00:21:51,023 Er... they're not real people. 518 00:21:51,184 --> 00:21:53,734 Yet, I feel such a brotherhood with them. 519 00:21:53,979 --> 00:21:55,059 It's on you now. 520 00:21:55,147 --> 00:21:57,647 Promise me you'll keep this world safe for the little guys. 521 00:21:57,733 --> 00:21:58,783 Still not people. 522 00:21:59,401 --> 00:22:01,401 It's weird for me when he humanizes them. 523 00:22:01,486 --> 00:22:03,486 I gotta blow these things up. 524 00:22:03,905 --> 00:22:06,115 All right, Boss, let's do this. 525 00:22:06,241 --> 00:22:07,451 [whirrs] 526 00:22:07,826 --> 00:22:10,326 We've matched you with a family of top scientists. 527 00:22:10,412 --> 00:22:13,872 By the time you grow up, you'll be keeping babies safe with particle physics! 528 00:22:14,082 --> 00:22:16,132 [sniffles] Love it. 529 00:22:16,960 --> 00:22:18,050 It's for Mega Fat. 530 00:22:18,128 --> 00:22:19,628 Tell him I said bye, will ya? 531 00:22:23,175 --> 00:22:24,085 Yo, Boss. 532 00:22:24,176 --> 00:22:27,796 Jimbo said you restored the budget for dodgeball and community theater? 533 00:22:27,888 --> 00:22:30,138 Well, I saw how much it meant to them. 534 00:22:30,223 --> 00:22:34,143 And I found a way to save overhead and justify it as war preparation. 535 00:22:34,227 --> 00:22:35,057 [thumping] 536 00:22:35,145 --> 00:22:39,265 Is this a dodgeball which I see before me-- ugh! 537 00:22:39,483 --> 00:22:42,283 -I love the classics! -[thumps] 538 00:23:05,217 --> 00:23:07,137 Boss Baby