1
00:00:15,056 --> 00:00:16,933
Hold all my calls.

2
00:00:17,100 --> 00:00:19,811
[giggling]

3
00:00:19,894 --> 00:00:21,479
♪ Boss Baby ♪

4
00:00:21,563 --> 00:00:25,442
♪ I'm the Boss, Boss Baby, boss, boss
Boss Baby, boss, boss ♪

5
00:00:25,525 --> 00:00:28,069
♪ Watch a itty-bitty kid get large ♪

6
00:00:28,153 --> 00:00:30,697
♪ I'm the big Boss Baby in charge ♪

7
00:00:30,780 --> 00:00:33,158
♪ Stroller rolling
Up and down the boulevard ♪

8
00:00:33,491 --> 00:00:35,744
♪ I'm the big Boss Baby in charge ♪

9
00:00:36,202 --> 00:00:39,080
♪ I run this house, I rule this crib ♪

10
00:00:39,164 --> 00:00:41,624
♪ Change my diaper, son
Where's my bib? ♪

11
00:00:41,708 --> 00:00:44,419
♪ Don't pacify
You just got to pay me ♪

12
00:00:44,502 --> 00:00:46,963
-♪ Who's in charge? ♪
-♪ Me, the Boss Baby ♪

13
00:00:49,924 --> 00:00:53,303
[grunts] Whoops! Excuse me.
One second. [chuckles]

14
00:00:55,346 --> 00:00:58,933
[muffled] Hello, board of directors!
[spits]

15
00:00:59,017 --> 00:01:02,020
[normal voice] Weekly check-in.
CEO reporting to the board.

16
00:01:02,103 --> 00:01:03,188
Love it.

17
00:01:03,271 --> 00:01:06,733
Let me start with some good news
on our inbound marketing strategies.

18
00:01:21,247 --> 00:01:23,458
[applause]

19
00:01:24,751 --> 00:01:27,670
But you ain't seen nothing yet.

20
00:01:27,754 --> 00:01:30,882
Who's at the door?
[gasps] Mr. Great Opportunity?

21
00:01:30,965 --> 00:01:33,301
I don't know, Board, should we let him in?

22
00:01:33,468 --> 00:01:35,470
Please! Let him enter!

23
00:01:36,137 --> 00:01:40,934
Meet our local semi-professional
soccer franchise, "The Hive."

24
00:01:41,017 --> 00:01:43,770
I recently attended
one of their raucous tilts.

25
00:01:44,979 --> 00:01:48,107
[Boss Baby] The love for this team
was like nothing I'd ever seen before.

26
00:01:48,191 --> 00:01:49,901
♪ Go, Hive! Go, Hive! ♪

27
00:01:49,984 --> 00:01:51,611
♪ Buzz! Buzz! Buzz! ♪

28
00:01:51,694 --> 00:01:54,697
Alas, for the Hive,
misfortune struck that day...

29
00:01:54,781 --> 00:01:57,408
All hail the Hive!

30
00:01:57,492 --> 00:02:00,537
...by way of team owner Midge Marksberry.

31
00:02:00,870 --> 00:02:01,788
[all gasping]

32
00:02:01,871 --> 00:02:03,331
-[buzzing]
-[people whimpering]

33
00:02:03,414 --> 00:02:04,749
[all screaming]

34
00:02:05,083 --> 00:02:06,292
Everyone, duck!

35
00:02:06,459 --> 00:02:08,253
What are you doing, Ted?

36
00:02:08,336 --> 00:02:10,547
Protecting my family.

37
00:02:11,381 --> 00:02:12,298
Ow.

38
00:02:12,507 --> 00:02:14,342
[Boss Baby] Everyone got stung that day.

39
00:02:14,425 --> 00:02:15,844
And me?

40
00:02:16,052 --> 00:02:17,679
I got stung with an idea.

41
00:02:18,054 --> 00:02:21,641
The name "The Hive" has become so toxic,
Midge Marksberry is holding

42
00:02:21,724 --> 00:02:25,395
a speech contest
for fans to propose a new name.

43
00:02:25,478 --> 00:02:30,108
We're going to win the contest
and name that team the Babies.

44
00:02:30,275 --> 00:02:33,361
-[all gasp]
-Imagine an entire sports fan base

45
00:02:33,444 --> 00:02:35,029
chanting in unison,

46
00:02:35,113 --> 00:02:38,241
♪ "Babies! Babies! Wah-wah-wah!" ♪

47
00:02:38,408 --> 00:02:41,995
A plan worthy of the ancient tycoons!

48
00:02:42,078 --> 00:02:43,663
I'm honored you approve.

49
00:02:43,746 --> 00:02:46,457
I've already recruited my brother
to enter the contest, so--

50
00:02:46,541 --> 00:02:50,003
Wait, you're placing the fate
of this most incredible plan

51
00:02:50,086 --> 00:02:51,629
in the hands of a mere child?

52
00:02:51,713 --> 00:02:52,589
Of course not.

53
00:02:52,672 --> 00:02:55,842
Tim is just the mouthpiece
for one of the greatest pieces of oratory

54
00:02:55,925 --> 00:02:57,218
the world will ever hear.

55
00:02:57,302 --> 00:02:59,220
I guarantee victory.

56
00:02:59,304 --> 00:03:02,515
How can you possibly make
such a guarantee?

57
00:03:02,599 --> 00:03:05,435
Because every word of that speech
has been engineered

58
00:03:05,518 --> 00:03:10,023
for maximum crowd-pleasing efficiency
by a crack team of brainstormers,

59
00:03:10,106 --> 00:03:13,693
my "Managed Outcomes
and Contingencies Team"!

60
00:03:13,776 --> 00:03:16,195
I call them the "What-Ifsters" for short.

61
00:03:16,279 --> 00:03:18,823
Their job is to imagine
every possible outcome,

62
00:03:18,907 --> 00:03:21,034
mostly bad, and find a solution.

63
00:03:21,117 --> 00:03:22,702
Staci, the speech.

64
00:03:24,037 --> 00:03:26,998
"The time has come for a team
that reflects our core values."

65
00:03:27,081 --> 00:03:28,541
I can already tell this is a winner.

66
00:03:28,791 --> 00:03:29,667
You better believe it.

67
00:03:29,959 --> 00:03:32,253
"Our team is the heart
and we are the blood."

68
00:03:32,337 --> 00:03:34,756
I cannot wait to give this speech.
What could go wrong?

69
00:03:34,923 --> 00:03:36,007
Excellent question!

70
00:03:36,174 --> 00:03:37,634
What if you stumble over the words?

71
00:03:37,884 --> 00:03:41,095
Just laugh to release the tension
and try again.

72
00:03:42,847 --> 00:03:45,391
Okay, but I've never stumbled
speaking in front of people.

73
00:03:45,475 --> 00:03:48,102
-What if someone heckles you?
-That won't happen, right?

74
00:03:48,186 --> 00:03:51,314
-You have to be ready if it does!
-Say something nice about the heckler.

75
00:03:51,397 --> 00:03:54,359
Like, "Madam,
you're as beautiful as a walrus!"

76
00:03:54,442 --> 00:03:57,987
"Why, thank you, young sir!"
[imitates walrus bark]

77
00:03:58,238 --> 00:03:59,697
What? [yelps]

78
00:03:59,781 --> 00:04:00,615
Barf bag?

79
00:04:00,698 --> 00:04:01,824
What if you barf?

80
00:04:02,033 --> 00:04:04,202
I'm not gonna barf.
I don't think I'm gonna barf.

81
00:04:04,285 --> 00:04:06,746
What if a falcon flies into your face?

82
00:04:06,829 --> 00:04:08,414
This'll help stop the bleeding.

83
00:04:08,498 --> 00:04:11,209
When did falcons in the community center
become a possibility?

84
00:04:11,292 --> 00:04:15,004
Can't disregard any what-if.
The stakes are far too high.

85
00:04:15,088 --> 00:04:16,631
[whimpers]

86
00:04:17,257 --> 00:04:20,385
And that's why the team
should be named The Handcuffs.

87
00:04:20,468 --> 00:04:24,055
You have the right to remain undefeated!
Thank you.

88
00:04:24,264 --> 00:04:29,602
Thanks, Doug, but I gotta say,
garbage disposal of a speech.

89
00:04:29,686 --> 00:04:30,687
Next!

90
00:04:30,770 --> 00:04:33,106
-I think I forgot my barf bag.
-You got this.

91
00:04:33,189 --> 00:04:34,524
The competition is a joke.

92
00:04:34,607 --> 00:04:37,443
♪ Babies! Babies! Wah-wah-wah! ♪

93
00:04:37,527 --> 00:04:40,488
So, in honor of that first dictionary,

94
00:04:40,571 --> 00:04:45,076
our team should be called
the Akkadian Cuneiform Tablets!

95
00:04:45,159 --> 00:04:45,994
Thank you.

96
00:04:47,912 --> 00:04:49,706
-[cooing]
-Pass.

97
00:04:49,789 --> 00:04:52,375
Look that up in the dictionary.
It means I hate it.

98
00:04:52,458 --> 00:04:53,668
Who's next?

99
00:04:53,751 --> 00:04:55,503
Timothy Templeton!

100
00:04:55,586 --> 00:04:57,130
Stand up here, boy.

101
00:05:00,174 --> 00:05:02,385
Timbo, that's your cue. You okay?

102
00:05:02,468 --> 00:05:04,804
-Do you need to make number twos?
-No!

103
00:05:04,887 --> 00:05:07,724
I just got nervous thinking about
everything that could go wrong,

104
00:05:07,807 --> 00:05:09,475
so I found a substitute to read my speech.

105
00:05:09,559 --> 00:05:15,440
Looks like Tim chickened out,
so here's Danny Petroosky.

106
00:05:15,982 --> 00:05:17,817
-Sorry.
-It'll be fine.

107
00:05:17,900 --> 00:05:21,279
That speech is so powerful, it would take
a force of nature to mess it up.

108
00:05:21,571 --> 00:05:23,197
It's Petrosky.

109
00:05:23,281 --> 00:05:25,616
Seems like a millionaire
should know how to read.

110
00:05:26,409 --> 00:05:28,453
Anyhoo, speech-a-doodle-do.

111
00:05:28,536 --> 00:05:29,954
Let's see. Hmm.

112
00:05:30,038 --> 00:05:31,998
Where's the first word?

113
00:05:32,081 --> 00:05:32,915
"The...

114
00:05:35,293 --> 00:05:38,963
time has come for a team that reflects
our core vacuums."

115
00:05:39,047 --> 00:05:41,340
Uh, values. Core values.

116
00:05:41,424 --> 00:05:43,801
-See why I'm not a millionaire?
-[all laughing]

117
00:05:47,013 --> 00:05:50,349
"Our team is the heart
and we are the blood!"

118
00:05:50,433 --> 00:05:52,769
[cheering]

119
00:05:52,852 --> 00:05:57,899
"Do we fight for the most helpless,
or do the most helpless fight for us?"

120
00:05:57,982 --> 00:06:00,526
You know the answer, don't you,
Mrs. Buskie.

121
00:06:00,610 --> 00:06:02,153
I see you do.

122
00:06:02,320 --> 00:06:03,905
See? I knew what I was doing.

123
00:06:03,988 --> 00:06:06,491
"It is a strength
that can never be defeated,

124
00:06:06,574 --> 00:06:10,661
not in the home, not in our hearts,
not on the soccer field.

125
00:06:10,828 --> 00:06:13,372
And that's why this team
should be called..."

126
00:06:15,416 --> 00:06:17,210
[chuckles] Wait, really?

127
00:06:18,211 --> 00:06:19,629
No, sorry, Tim.

128
00:06:19,712 --> 00:06:21,172
This name is terrible.

129
00:06:21,255 --> 00:06:25,051
This team should be called...
the Hot Dogs!

130
00:06:25,134 --> 00:06:27,428
-I love it!
-Yeah!

131
00:06:28,012 --> 00:06:30,807
But not the food hotdog,
but, like, dog dogs.

132
00:06:30,890 --> 00:06:32,558
Pet dogs. Maybe in a sweater.

133
00:06:32,725 --> 00:06:35,853
Nothing's more ferocious
than a sweaty, panting dog.

134
00:06:35,937 --> 00:06:38,648
♪ Hot dogs! Hot dogs! Arf-arf-arf! ♪

135
00:06:38,731 --> 00:06:41,400
-♪ Hot dogs! Hot dogs! Arf-arf-arf! ♪
-I'll fix this.

136
00:06:41,484 --> 00:06:44,904
The uniforms will have
battery-powered tails that wag!

137
00:06:44,987 --> 00:06:48,074
Wait a minute, wait a minute, hold on.
I gotta write that down.

138
00:06:48,157 --> 00:06:49,742
Excuse me, Ms. Marksberry?

139
00:06:49,826 --> 00:06:52,829
-What if the team was called the "Babies"?
-Shh!

140
00:06:52,912 --> 00:06:55,665
I gotta hear what comes
out of this kid's mouth next.

141
00:06:55,748 --> 00:06:58,042
I'm gonna say a bunch of letters
that come into my head,

142
00:06:58,126 --> 00:07:00,461
and we're gonna do whatever I spell
at every halftime.

143
00:07:00,545 --> 00:07:04,507
F-L-A-R-T-I-U-M-N-Y!

144
00:07:04,590 --> 00:07:07,593
-Flartiumny? Done!
-[cheering]

145
00:07:10,096 --> 00:07:12,723
So, um, with quarterly reports due...

146
00:07:13,141 --> 00:07:15,518
Boss Baby, you know why you're here.

147
00:07:15,601 --> 00:07:19,105
You promised the world
and delivered hot dogs.

148
00:07:19,397 --> 00:07:21,732
Oh, that? [chuckles] Just a setback.

149
00:07:21,816 --> 00:07:25,486
My team already has, like,
a dozen contingencies in place.

150
00:07:25,570 --> 00:07:29,073
I need a dozen contingency plans
in place yesterday.

151
00:07:30,074 --> 00:07:33,077
They already have a logo,
and it's stinking adorable!

152
00:07:33,161 --> 00:07:34,537
Goodbye, Yellow 100!

153
00:07:34,620 --> 00:07:36,122
Puppy love's gonna soar.

154
00:07:36,205 --> 00:07:38,249
We're practically doing
PuppyCo's work for them!

155
00:07:38,332 --> 00:07:40,376
[whines, chuckles]

156
00:07:40,835 --> 00:07:43,254
Yes, ha-ha, "thank you," very funny.

157
00:07:43,337 --> 00:07:45,631
What's the opposite of "you're welcome"?

158
00:07:45,715 --> 00:07:47,425
-Eat butts!
-Thank you.

159
00:07:47,508 --> 00:07:49,510
What-Ifsters, go work your magic.

160
00:07:49,594 --> 00:07:51,679
Hunker down in a conference room
and don't come out

161
00:07:51,762 --> 00:07:55,099
until there's a plan to get this team
named the Babies.

162
00:07:56,225 --> 00:08:00,605
Okay, Boss needs plans fast!
But what if we had lunch first?

163
00:08:00,688 --> 00:08:02,148
I am hungry.

164
00:08:02,398 --> 00:08:04,901
Ooh! What if we ordered Chinese?

165
00:08:04,984 --> 00:08:08,112
That would satisfy our hunger
and fuel our brains.

166
00:08:08,196 --> 00:08:10,114
But what if it's too spicy?

167
00:08:10,198 --> 00:08:13,868
Should we order ice cream, too?
Contingent on the need to cool our mouths?

168
00:08:13,951 --> 00:08:16,871
-What if the ice cream's too cold?
-And what if our mouths freeze?

169
00:08:16,954 --> 00:08:21,292
What if I had my R&D babies develop
a warm mouth teething gel?

170
00:08:21,375 --> 00:08:24,712
What if they're out to lunch
and we wait too long and never eat?

171
00:08:24,795 --> 00:08:27,423
What if I get so skinny
that my diaper falls off?

172
00:08:29,675 --> 00:08:31,969
-It's been hours!
-That's good!

173
00:08:32,053 --> 00:08:33,888
It means they're running through
all scenarios

174
00:08:33,971 --> 00:08:35,765
-and narrowing it down to the most--
-[both gasp]

175
00:08:36,766 --> 00:08:37,683
Uh-huh. Sure.

176
00:08:37,767 --> 00:08:41,395
I don't care what you had for lunch,
but I'm happy your mouths didn't freeze.

177
00:08:41,479 --> 00:08:43,314
Brilliant idea.

178
00:08:43,606 --> 00:08:47,109
-Well?
-We need a wagon and a movie-star smile.

179
00:08:47,610 --> 00:08:49,737
And that little girl said to me,

180
00:08:49,820 --> 00:08:53,491
"You have the smile of a woman
in her low to lower 30s."

181
00:08:53,574 --> 00:08:54,951
[laughs]

182
00:08:55,034 --> 00:08:57,537
I don't get it. Is it because you're old?

183
00:08:58,329 --> 00:09:00,998
I am in the prime of my life.

184
00:09:01,082 --> 00:09:04,001
I'm 59 and proud as a peacock.

185
00:09:04,085 --> 00:09:05,753
How old are you, 50?

186
00:09:06,337 --> 00:09:10,049
This is going to be
such a delightful interview.

187
00:09:10,341 --> 00:09:11,467
I'm Marsha Krinkle.

188
00:09:11,676 --> 00:09:13,511
Today's guests are Midge Marksberry,

189
00:09:13,594 --> 00:09:16,013
the elderly owner
of the local soccer team,

190
00:09:16,097 --> 00:09:21,227
and Danny Petrosky, the boy who gave it
a new name: the Hot Dogs.

191
00:09:21,686 --> 00:09:25,314
This human idea factory
came up with that name,

192
00:09:25,398 --> 00:09:28,317
and I haven't let him
leave my side since.

193
00:09:28,401 --> 00:09:29,860
Idea! Go!

194
00:09:29,944 --> 00:09:31,862
"Take Home the Chair
You're Sitting In" Night.

195
00:09:31,946 --> 00:09:33,656
"Mustard Burning Mondays."

196
00:09:33,739 --> 00:09:36,742
"Bring a Better Player With You,"
"What's Up? You're Coach Now."

197
00:09:36,993 --> 00:09:39,453
Kid's mind is quicker than a snake bite!

198
00:09:39,537 --> 00:09:40,705
Slow down!

199
00:09:40,788 --> 00:09:44,250
The mind saunters a bit as we age, I hear.

200
00:09:44,417 --> 00:09:47,545
How did you come up
with the name Hotdogs, Danny?

201
00:09:47,628 --> 00:09:50,298
Not hotdogs. Hot Dogs.

202
00:09:50,381 --> 00:09:54,051
See, my friend Tim wrote the speech for me
with a different team name.

203
00:09:54,510 --> 00:09:57,346
But then, I had an idea: Hotdogs.

204
00:09:57,430 --> 00:10:00,975
But then I thought,
hotdogs are delicious but not fierce,

205
00:10:01,058 --> 00:10:04,812
and I'm a diagnosed vesti-cynophobiac,
fear of dogs in clothing,

206
00:10:04,895 --> 00:10:08,733
so a dog who is hot
is a pretty ferocious mascot to me.

207
00:10:08,816 --> 00:10:10,693
Boom! Hot Dogs.

208
00:10:10,943 --> 00:10:13,696
-That was a story!
-[Tim clears throat]

209
00:10:14,113 --> 00:10:17,867
Oh! Speaking of my buddy Tim,
I want you guys to meet him.

210
00:10:17,950 --> 00:10:20,620
Well, let's bring him out!

211
00:10:20,703 --> 00:10:21,621
Hey, everyone.

212
00:10:21,704 --> 00:10:23,789
In honor of Danny
getting to name the team,

213
00:10:23,873 --> 00:10:25,958
I brought a special breakfast surprise!

214
00:10:26,042 --> 00:10:27,710
[Danny gasps] Hotdogs!

215
00:10:27,793 --> 00:10:31,339
To be clear, the team is the Hot Dogs,
totally different.

216
00:10:31,422 --> 00:10:33,716
But you know I can't say no to a hotdog.

217
00:10:33,799 --> 00:10:34,884
I do know that.

218
00:10:35,926 --> 00:10:37,261
[Boss Baby] Is she gonna take it?

219
00:10:37,428 --> 00:10:39,305
She needs a mouthful
if our plan's gonna work.

220
00:10:39,722 --> 00:10:42,308
Come on, likeliest outcome!

221
00:10:42,433 --> 00:10:43,392
[chuckles]

222
00:10:43,476 --> 00:10:46,437
You don't happen to have
a grapefruit in a bun, do you, kid?

223
00:10:46,520 --> 00:10:48,105
I mean, it's 8:00 a.m.!

224
00:10:48,189 --> 00:10:51,525
[slurps] Ah, the time don't matter,
Lizzie Lulu.

225
00:10:51,609 --> 00:10:55,154
We're not getting any younger, you know.
[chuckles]

226
00:10:58,532 --> 00:11:00,117
Now work your magic, Timbo.

227
00:11:00,201 --> 00:11:03,412
[Tim] While everyone is chewing, I'd like
to take this opportunity to mention...

228
00:11:03,496 --> 00:11:05,247
that babies are tenacious.

229
00:11:05,331 --> 00:11:08,501
They get what they want,
whether it's a bottle or victory.

230
00:11:08,584 --> 00:11:12,004
Most of all, babies are the easiest thing
in the world to love.

231
00:11:12,088 --> 00:11:16,175
This town loves our team, and that's why
the team should be called the Babies.

232
00:11:16,258 --> 00:11:19,136
♪ Babies! Babies! Wah-wah-wah! ♪

233
00:11:19,220 --> 00:11:21,013
[scarfs, gulps] I love it!

234
00:11:21,097 --> 00:11:25,476
I could get into a team called the Babies,
because I know how tough they can be!

235
00:11:25,559 --> 00:11:27,728
[chuckles] I am a working mom.

236
00:11:27,812 --> 00:11:28,813
Babies are tough.

237
00:11:28,979 --> 00:11:33,025
The fact that baby Midge Marksberry
survived this crazy world

238
00:11:33,109 --> 00:11:37,655
to become 59 years old
is all the proof you need.

239
00:11:37,738 --> 00:11:39,323
I don't know. Now I'm torn.

240
00:11:39,407 --> 00:11:42,952
The Babies or the Hot Dogs.
What do you think, Danny?

241
00:11:43,035 --> 00:11:46,789
[scarfs] I'm all for letting
the best ideas win in this world

242
00:11:46,872 --> 00:11:50,292
because, I'll admit, the best ideas
never win in my head.

243
00:11:50,376 --> 00:11:53,129
For example,
I'm going to eat another hotdog.

244
00:11:53,754 --> 00:11:55,089
I can't stop!

245
00:11:56,006 --> 00:11:57,842
You heard it here first, folks.

246
00:11:57,925 --> 00:12:00,052
Team name: to be determined.

247
00:12:00,219 --> 00:12:02,430
-Whoo, man! We did it!
-Yeah! Who da man?

248
00:12:02,513 --> 00:12:05,099
But... [sighs] we didn't get
the team name.

249
00:12:05,182 --> 00:12:08,018
But we got the Babies back in play!

250
00:12:08,102 --> 00:12:10,896
The door was slammed shut.
We pried it open.

251
00:12:10,980 --> 00:12:12,898
Now we'll brainstorm ways to win!

252
00:12:12,982 --> 00:12:14,108
-Yay!
-Yeah!

253
00:12:14,692 --> 00:12:17,069
-We did it! We're the man!
-Great! Yes!

254
00:12:17,278 --> 00:12:18,112
Now bring it home.

255
00:12:18,195 --> 00:12:20,281
I mean, this should be easy
now that the town

256
00:12:20,364 --> 00:12:22,491
has heard the name the Babies, right?

257
00:12:22,575 --> 00:12:24,869
Nothing but blue skies ahead.

258
00:12:25,119 --> 00:12:26,537
-[man] Hot Dogs!
-[woman] Yeah! Yeah!

259
00:12:26,620 --> 00:12:28,205
Hot Dogs is a better name!

260
00:12:28,539 --> 00:12:30,166
Wrong! Babies!

261
00:12:30,249 --> 00:12:31,834
-Hot Dogs!
-[grunting]

262
00:12:31,917 --> 00:12:33,919
No street fights allowed!

263
00:12:34,003 --> 00:12:36,589
Let's agree on the Babies, or...

264
00:12:36,672 --> 00:12:38,174
I'm taking your butt to jail!

265
00:12:38,257 --> 00:12:39,091
Yes!

266
00:12:39,258 --> 00:12:42,136
No. Hot Dogs! [grunts]

267
00:12:42,219 --> 00:12:45,598
Well, then you're under arrest
for assaulting an officer's good taste

268
00:12:45,681 --> 00:12:46,724
in team names.

269
00:12:46,807 --> 00:12:49,393
Well, I usurp and cancel this arrest.

270
00:12:49,477 --> 00:12:52,646
We all know this team should be
the Hot Dogs.

271
00:12:52,730 --> 00:12:53,689
I'll pass a law!

272
00:12:54,064 --> 00:12:56,275
Who's gonna enforce it?

273
00:12:56,358 --> 00:12:57,860
Stalemate.

274
00:12:58,694 --> 00:13:00,196
The Babies, you maniac!

275
00:13:00,362 --> 00:13:02,907
♪ Hot Dogs! Hot Dogs! Arf-arf-arf! ♪

276
00:13:02,990 --> 00:13:05,075
More like "barf barf..." [retches]

277
00:13:05,242 --> 00:13:07,369
No, that's what Babies do!

278
00:13:07,453 --> 00:13:09,997
I know. Why do you think
I'm at the pediatrician?

279
00:13:10,080 --> 00:13:11,332
[baby vomits]

280
00:13:11,665 --> 00:13:14,627
When they finally settle on naming
the team the Babies,

281
00:13:14,710 --> 00:13:18,380
I'm buying this whole family
jerseys, hats...

282
00:13:19,590 --> 00:13:22,009
Janice... you're one of them?

283
00:13:22,384 --> 00:13:26,680
We are right, and we're everywhere.

284
00:13:29,391 --> 00:13:32,478
Excuse me, boys. I'm not hungry.

285
00:13:36,065 --> 00:13:37,858
Grapes en quatre pièces.

286
00:13:38,984 --> 00:13:41,111
Mm. How delicate.

287
00:13:41,570 --> 00:13:43,322
Les mains de dieu.

288
00:13:43,405 --> 00:13:46,450
So, this team name thing is bad.

289
00:13:46,534 --> 00:13:50,246
We're getting negative baby love readings
from people with babies.

290
00:13:50,329 --> 00:13:51,455
[chuckles]

291
00:13:51,539 --> 00:13:53,707
You think we didn't see this coming?

292
00:13:54,583 --> 00:13:56,293
You saw this coming?

293
00:13:57,211 --> 00:13:59,505
There are so many paths to victory.

294
00:13:59,588 --> 00:14:02,550
My What-Ifsters have
a cornucopia of contingencies.

295
00:14:02,633 --> 00:14:03,801
Patience is...

296
00:14:03,968 --> 00:14:05,302
Now! Now! Now!

297
00:14:05,386 --> 00:14:07,805
We gotta end this naming controversy.
Give me what-ifs!

298
00:14:09,974 --> 00:14:14,144
What if our universe is a teeny, tiny atom
in something much, much bigger?

299
00:14:14,228 --> 00:14:17,273
What if that something bigger
is a giant fart?

300
00:14:17,356 --> 00:14:19,567
What if we're all pieces of a fart?

301
00:14:19,733 --> 00:14:21,944
What if we stopped moving?

302
00:14:23,904 --> 00:14:24,989
What is going on here?

303
00:14:25,322 --> 00:14:26,949
We were just trying to order lunch.

304
00:14:27,032 --> 00:14:28,993
But we went too deep on the what-ifs.

305
00:14:29,076 --> 00:14:30,494
We're scared, Boss.

306
00:14:30,703 --> 00:14:32,913
What if ideas were little people?

307
00:14:32,997 --> 00:14:35,416
What if we're someone else's idea?

308
00:14:35,499 --> 00:14:37,918
What if we're a fart's idea?

309
00:14:38,002 --> 00:14:39,211
[all] Whoa!

310
00:14:39,587 --> 00:14:40,963
[growls]

311
00:14:41,130 --> 00:14:44,258
My crack team of thinkers
is paralyzed by their own genius!

312
00:14:44,341 --> 00:14:47,678
I need any idea you got
to get this team named Babies.

313
00:14:47,761 --> 00:14:50,055
We could do a stunt where we jump
20 babies on a dirt bike.

314
00:14:50,139 --> 00:14:51,265
[spits]

315
00:14:52,683 --> 00:14:55,060
Full honesty: that's an old Danny idea
I just borrowed.

316
00:14:55,227 --> 00:14:56,854
-That's it!
-A dirt bike baby jump?

317
00:14:56,937 --> 00:14:59,940
No, the human equivalent
of a dirt bike baby jump.

318
00:15:00,024 --> 00:15:04,320
When logic has failed, we must turn
to a mind of unpredictable chaos!

319
00:15:05,863 --> 00:15:06,822
[Tim] Glad you could make it.

320
00:15:06,906 --> 00:15:10,659
I'm glad we're still buds with all this
Baby/Hot Dog tension in the etherhood.

321
00:15:10,743 --> 00:15:13,120
Etherhood? Good term!

322
00:15:13,203 --> 00:15:14,872
Hope you don't mind I brought Midge.

323
00:15:14,955 --> 00:15:17,333
She's been following me
for all my brilliant ideas.

324
00:15:17,416 --> 00:15:20,544
I'm glad she's here because we gotta solve
this team name problem.

325
00:15:20,753 --> 00:15:21,795
Beautiful day for that.

326
00:15:21,879 --> 00:15:24,798
-Shouldn't you have a putter?
-Tim and I play medium golf.

327
00:15:25,090 --> 00:15:28,093
The goal is to get the ball
into the next hole.

328
00:15:28,302 --> 00:15:32,431
You're making me look like
an amateur entrepreneur.

329
00:15:33,515 --> 00:15:35,351
So, team name-- how do we decide?

330
00:15:35,434 --> 00:15:36,936
-Any ideas?
-No.

331
00:15:37,019 --> 00:15:39,438
So I'll just blurt one out. Soccer game.

332
00:15:39,563 --> 00:15:40,481
[gasps]

333
00:15:40,731 --> 00:15:41,982
Dogs versus Babies.

334
00:15:42,066 --> 00:15:45,194
I put together the dog team,
Tim wrangles some babies.

335
00:15:45,402 --> 00:15:46,528
How would that work?

336
00:15:46,737 --> 00:15:48,906
First to five or five fives.

337
00:15:48,989 --> 00:15:51,241
Five-player teams,
winner is the first team

338
00:15:51,325 --> 00:15:55,454
to score five goals or whoever is ahead
after five five-minute quarters.

339
00:15:56,747 --> 00:15:59,458
It's insane, but perfectly logical,

340
00:15:59,541 --> 00:16:02,586
full of chaos that you could never imagine
a contingency for.

341
00:16:02,670 --> 00:16:04,046
Pure Danny Petrosky.

342
00:16:04,129 --> 00:16:06,507
-How's your kick aim?
-Oh, I'll be on the sidelines.

343
00:16:06,590 --> 00:16:08,759
I'm more of a coach than an athlete.

344
00:16:08,842 --> 00:16:12,596
I just don't see how Danny can put
together a dog team that can beat us.

345
00:16:13,097 --> 00:16:14,264
[grunts]

346
00:16:14,765 --> 00:16:18,894
My playgroup friends,
I'm confident you can beat dogs at soccer.

347
00:16:18,978 --> 00:16:22,314
And my co-coach Tim is getting
your parents on board as we speak.

348
00:16:22,398 --> 00:16:25,317
♪ Babies! Babies! Wah-wah-wah! ♪

349
00:16:25,401 --> 00:16:26,819
[cooing, giggling]

350
00:16:26,986 --> 00:16:28,362
[all] Aw!

351
00:16:28,612 --> 00:16:30,239
That's a "yes" from the parents.

352
00:16:30,447 --> 00:16:31,657
So, let's talk strategy.

353
00:16:31,740 --> 00:16:34,660
Joy, you are not participating
in a contest

354
00:16:34,743 --> 00:16:37,746
to give our beloved soccer team
an inferior name.

355
00:16:38,288 --> 00:16:40,290
Oh, man! Now we're one baby short!

356
00:16:40,457 --> 00:16:41,458
No, we're not.

357
00:16:41,834 --> 00:16:45,045
Sure, sports ain't my bag,
but I haven't gotten to where I am

358
00:16:45,129 --> 00:16:47,589
by sitting down when I need to stand.

359
00:16:47,673 --> 00:16:50,843
Bring on the dogs. [grunts, groans]

360
00:16:52,928 --> 00:16:56,265
Agenda item for tomorrow:
learn to be great at sports.

361
00:16:56,348 --> 00:16:59,059
Here, doggie-doggies
who know how to play soccer.

362
00:16:59,351 --> 00:17:01,186
Come get your kabobs!

363
00:17:01,937 --> 00:17:05,441
Here, doggie-doggies
who know how to play soccer.

364
00:17:11,155 --> 00:17:14,116
This... means... something.

365
00:17:14,575 --> 00:17:15,909
But what?

366
00:17:16,368 --> 00:17:17,745
[huffs]

367
00:17:17,953 --> 00:17:20,539
[cheering]

368
00:17:24,960 --> 00:17:27,337
-Yeah!
-Whoo-hoo!

369
00:17:28,630 --> 00:17:29,923
-[man] Go, Babies!
-[woman] Oh, yeah!

370
00:17:30,007 --> 00:17:32,593
[whistle trills]

371
00:17:37,514 --> 00:17:38,682
[Boss baby] Is that...

372
00:17:38,766 --> 00:17:40,309
Bug the Pug?

373
00:17:41,435 --> 00:17:42,686
[chuckles]

374
00:17:43,228 --> 00:17:46,440
-We got this.
-[whistle trills]

375
00:17:47,316 --> 00:17:49,526
[cooing]

376
00:17:50,611 --> 00:17:52,780
What the heck?
I thought you were training them.

377
00:17:52,863 --> 00:17:54,990
I did. This was as far as we got.

378
00:17:55,074 --> 00:17:56,909
[cooing, giggling]

379
00:17:59,995 --> 00:18:02,414
That's right!
Pass it around with your heads.

380
00:18:02,498 --> 00:18:04,666
-I'm a genius dog trainer!
-[barking]

381
00:18:05,042 --> 00:18:07,920
[scoffs] Like you said, we got this.

382
00:18:09,630 --> 00:18:14,635
All right! This one's for all the marbles.
Ha, ha!

383
00:18:14,718 --> 00:18:17,221
Are we gonna call our team the Babies?

384
00:18:17,304 --> 00:18:18,806
-Yeah! Yeah!
-Yeah, yeah!

385
00:18:19,056 --> 00:18:20,808
Boo! Boo!

386
00:18:20,891 --> 00:18:22,518
-Boo!
-Yeah!

387
00:18:22,601 --> 00:18:24,520
Or the Hot Dogs?

388
00:18:24,603 --> 00:18:26,271
-Boo! Boo!
-Boo!

389
00:18:26,438 --> 00:18:28,148
-Yeehaw!
-Yeah!

390
00:18:28,357 --> 00:18:30,442
-Yeah! Whoo-hoo!
-Boo!

391
00:18:36,824 --> 00:18:38,700
-[buzzer blares]
-[man] Boo!

392
00:18:38,784 --> 00:18:40,077
[pants, barks]

393
00:18:41,453 --> 00:18:43,247
Hotty hot hot dogs!

394
00:18:43,330 --> 00:18:44,998
Goal!

395
00:18:45,082 --> 00:18:48,085
I get it, they got a go--
Honey, they got a goal, okay?

396
00:18:48,168 --> 00:18:51,088
Please? Please?
Oh, oh. Okay, still going?

397
00:18:51,171 --> 00:18:53,674
Okay, stop. Stop. Okay, stop!

398
00:18:54,007 --> 00:18:55,259
-Goal!
-[yelps]

399
00:18:55,342 --> 00:18:57,010
[giggling]

400
00:18:57,094 --> 00:18:59,429
That's okay, that's okay.
Look alive, team, look alive.

401
00:18:59,596 --> 00:19:00,764
Hands! Hands!

402
00:19:00,848 --> 00:19:03,058
Come on!
Your team doesn't even have hands.

403
00:19:03,142 --> 00:19:04,518
Or do they each have four?

404
00:19:04,601 --> 00:19:07,396
That's unanswerable.
I take back my complaint.

405
00:19:07,521 --> 00:19:09,898
[scarfs] Let's go! Let's go!

406
00:19:09,982 --> 00:19:11,316
[giggles, grunts]

407
00:19:12,860 --> 00:19:14,278
-Boo! Boo!
-[buzzer blares]

408
00:19:14,444 --> 00:19:16,029
-Yeah!
-Go, yeah, yeah, yeah!

409
00:19:16,113 --> 00:19:18,615
That's it, Scooter! Kick their butts!

410
00:19:18,699 --> 00:19:21,910
You're the man now, son! [cackles]

411
00:19:21,994 --> 00:19:22,828
Scooter!

412
00:19:25,164 --> 00:19:26,123
[scarfs]

413
00:19:27,583 --> 00:19:31,753
[gulps] I'm sorry! Hotdogs comfort me
in stressful times.

414
00:19:31,837 --> 00:19:35,924
They're mushy with a sweaty skin,
like a grandma's kiss!

415
00:19:36,008 --> 00:19:39,887
-[growling]
-[grunting, cries]

416
00:19:40,721 --> 00:19:42,055
-[Boss Baby grunts]
-[grunts]

417
00:19:42,431 --> 00:19:45,642
[buzzer blaring]

418
00:19:46,018 --> 00:19:48,562
-[growls, whines]
-[whines]

419
00:19:48,729 --> 00:19:53,066
I heretofore decree you should
knock that baby on his face!

420
00:19:57,362 --> 00:19:58,864
[shrieks]

421
00:20:01,366 --> 00:20:02,492
[grunts]

422
00:20:02,576 --> 00:20:05,829
Are you kidding me?
Refs, that stinkin' baby cheated!

423
00:20:06,038 --> 00:20:09,458
-Honey! That's our--
-I know who it is, Ted!

424
00:20:09,541 --> 00:20:12,794
♪ Hot Dogs, Hot Dogs, arf-arf-arf! ♪

425
00:20:12,878 --> 00:20:13,795
[panting]

426
00:20:15,214 --> 00:20:17,591
-[buzzer blares]
-[cheering, booing]

427
00:20:18,842 --> 00:20:19,676
Yeah!

428
00:20:19,760 --> 00:20:22,221
No, no, no! [scarfs, gulps]

429
00:20:22,679 --> 00:20:24,973
Listen up. It's tied four-four.

430
00:20:25,057 --> 00:20:27,017
We win with one more goal, people.

431
00:20:27,100 --> 00:20:30,312
This is what we very briefly
and inexpertly trained for.

432
00:20:30,395 --> 00:20:32,231
-One, two, three... Wah!
-[all scream]

433
00:20:32,397 --> 00:20:33,273
[whistle trills]

434
00:20:34,983 --> 00:20:36,276
[growls]

435
00:20:36,818 --> 00:20:38,320
-[giggles]
-[barking]

436
00:20:38,862 --> 00:20:40,530
-[grunts]
-[coos]

437
00:20:43,450 --> 00:20:45,911
-[grunts]
-[grunts] Huh?

438
00:20:47,162 --> 00:20:50,916
-[grunts, pants] Ah-- Oh!
-[crowd] Oh!

439
00:20:52,542 --> 00:20:55,754
Agenda item for tomorrow:
set realistic expectations

440
00:20:55,837 --> 00:20:58,006
about how long it takes
to be great at sports.

441
00:20:58,840 --> 00:21:00,425
-[grunts]
-Oh, no.

442
00:21:01,426 --> 00:21:03,929
Go, go, go! [stomach gurgles]

443
00:21:07,891 --> 00:21:10,310
-[buzzer blares]
-[gasps, retches]

444
00:21:10,560 --> 00:21:12,604
-[woman cheering]
-Yeah-- Huh?

445
00:21:12,688 --> 00:21:17,276
-[Danny vomiting]
-Oh, that smell! Hotdog puke! [retches]

446
00:21:17,359 --> 00:21:20,946
[all vomiting]

447
00:21:22,531 --> 00:21:25,742
[stomach gurgles] Grab the boys!

448
00:21:25,826 --> 00:21:27,869
We have to get out of here now!

449
00:21:28,829 --> 00:21:29,997
[vomiting]

450
00:21:30,080 --> 00:21:31,999
Oh, disgus-- [retches]

451
00:21:32,165 --> 00:21:34,543
[all screaming]

452
00:21:34,710 --> 00:21:37,879
Wait! The Hot Dogs won!

453
00:21:40,173 --> 00:21:43,135
Come back and... [stomach gurgles]
Oh, geez. [belches]

454
00:21:43,218 --> 00:21:47,264
[retching]

455
00:21:47,347 --> 00:21:51,101
No one's gonna wanna hear
the word "hotdog" ever again.

456
00:21:51,351 --> 00:21:55,814
-I'm naming this team the Babies!
-[coos]

457
00:22:03,071 --> 00:22:06,616
♪ Babies! Babies! Wah-wah-wah! ♪

458
00:22:06,700 --> 00:22:09,953
♪ Babies! Babies! Wah-wah-wah! ♪

459
00:22:10,037 --> 00:22:12,789
Let's go, honey!
We're gonna be late for the game!

460
00:22:14,833 --> 00:22:16,251
[gasps] You look...

461
00:22:17,169 --> 00:22:18,253
beautiful.

462
00:22:20,130 --> 00:22:24,009
So, by increasing baby-positive
news coverage by 12 percent--

463
00:22:24,092 --> 00:22:25,218
I must know--

464
00:22:25,302 --> 00:22:28,388
that miraculous victory
in the naming contest,

465
00:22:28,472 --> 00:22:31,349
the unexpected twist
of the vomiting boy...

466
00:22:31,433 --> 00:22:33,977
We simply managed the outcomes
and contingencies.

467
00:22:34,061 --> 00:22:35,395
Every outcome was--

468
00:22:35,479 --> 00:22:37,564
You just winged it and got lucky,
didn't you?

469
00:22:37,647 --> 00:22:39,191
Mostly, yes. Mm-hmm.

470
00:22:39,483 --> 00:22:40,567
Excellent.

471
00:22:43,361 --> 00:22:45,781
[theme music playing]

472
00:23:05,175 --> 00:23:07,135
♪ Boss Baby ♪